Goodear

Heenan is a key component to that bump. He is in position to have Harley land on him if he doesn't move. It makes the bump look more organic and out of control than if Heenan wasn't there. Fuck Bobby was such a great athlete. He makes it look like he had no idea it was coming but barely had time to get out of the way.

I totally get Jae's point and it is a good one. The promo does however work with Ziggler's established character of being a show off who is about putting on a performance more than going out and winning as quickly as possible. Obviously there is a bunch of worked shoot garbage in there but you could spin it more like, "John Cena (to pick a name) told me that I should stop doing sit ups during matches, stop doing head stands, stop being me. Well not being me has taken away my edge and I'm not winning anymore. I used to be this guy who could blow everyone away but I was told I needed to be more humble. Well being humble sucks." Most characters should be about winning. But their are exceptions, like The Wyatts shouldn't be at all concerned with titles unless it advances their agenda. Ziggler has some wiggle room.

Remember when CM Punk said that there were too many part timers coming in and taking spots? Your 'matches to get hyped about' all have part timers in them, It's not our fault though. WWE did this to themselves by have the last 3 or 4 'Manias being reminders about how "great" things were years ago and not focusing on the now. When 4 or 5 guys come back every year and immediately get put in featured matches and main events, the current roster looks weaker in comparison.

Give me Ricky Morton to build the heat and Daniel Bryan to come in for the hot tag. Give me Tito Santana and Ricky Steamboat for team never turn heel. Give me Jake Roberts and DDP for team watch out for that finish. Give me Joey Ryan and Jimmy Del Ray for team sleazy gyration.

His best stuff was in NXT during his feud with Tyson Kidd about Tyson not being a second generation wrestler. It was pretty effective but I would have no idea where it came from whether him or creative.

Short answer is that it is easier to get over as a heel than as a face. The heel gets to be more proactive, generally gets to do more of offense in a match, and gets to say cool stuff. The faces are usually reactive and sell programs by getting their asses kicked for 75 % of the time. So you have a lot of guys who can only get over as heels trying on the face role to see if they are one of those rare birds. Some guys are good at it and some can't make the transition. R Truth can't call the crowd racist and still be a face. It don't work. Miz can't for the life of him not be a raging douche. This is also what makes Kofi Kingston valuable to a company as he comes in and almost immediately can start selling.

So I;m watching something on youtube and an advertisement for TNA comes up. And in the 5 seconds it took for it to be skippable, there was all the stars of TNA. Like AJ Styles and Sting and Jeff Hardy... I laughed.

NXT SHOOOOOOW. Ascension had a good squash match this week! The crowd has gone all Hack Myers for Konnor and are shouting YAH with his every move. It makes the matches better. I don't know why. But the squash was good too, short enough to get the point across without being dull. The point being The Ascension have matching tights things! FINALLY. Cauliflower ears are gross. Corey Graves is back in all his glory of being so fucking punchable. His skinny jeans are a new high of being a naturally unlikable douche. The dragon screw in the ropes was pretty nasty but he went right to the finish after so it didn't make for a great return. Camacho was there too. 'What audition?' Sawyer Fulton is a STAR. You know when Sylvester is wiping his palms after shaking your hand that there is good things. All the good things. Bayley! Da Boss! Vice Principle Renee Young! Renee is a sexist! And wants to bang Regal! Belly-to-Bayley! Exclamation POINTS! Big Cass versus Tyler Breeze? Sweet Jesus yes. This is the match I have always wanted but didn't know I wanted. They don't touch for like 5 minutes and it is glorious and I don't care. Cass is so great. Just so charismatic doing simple stuff and Breeze is bumping off all of it. That boot to the mush was super nice. We come back from break and Enzo and Cass have a conversation I guess? Words are said. One was boulderdash. Regal hates Enzo Amore and I drink in his hate. Not because I hate Enzo but because I love that Regal hates him. CJ Parker and The Miz... well they can't all be winners. Miz's hair is weird tonight. Like it is floppy. They have a match. CJ makes the weirdest noises in the figure four. I throw a stuffed otter to my poodle. I think about having a peanut butter malted milk ball. Sami? He said no to you last week, to your face, pretty sure. Why does Mason Ryan hate Sylvester so much anyway? Its like a totally one-sided thing. Vice Principle Young is back out for a contract signing. Bo is sirius business! Danny Burch! I love the short arm elBOs. He also hits a double arm DDT as a finish. They do a thing where Bo still looks serious but snaps back and forth into his smile. Its off putting.

I think if you fool around too much, you may not have the guys at all in a year. How much longer can either really be effective? Is Sting even effective now much less in another year? I think you either strike now or you forget about the match entirely and put Sting in a tag with Cena or something this year.

I always wonder how Feds decide who get to do what moves. Is there a dibs system?

So lets get us a Sting angle okay? Hey, its Vince for a rare appearance and he is pleased as punch to introduce you all to the newest member of the WWE Roster. YAY! It's STING! AWOOO! It;s been a long time coming but it finally broke. Like an egg yoke, he ain't no joke. Sting is in his no face paint, sunglasses and black suit outfit. Vince and Sting handshake and HUG IT OUT. Because why not? Vince being on scene is sold as a big deal because he doesn't do that much anymore. But he would come out for Sting wouldn't he? He would! Sting signs his contract on television because hey, big deal. And then... SIERRA HOTEL .... You know the rest. OHHHH NOOOO.... Sting has been betrayed again! Wait no. Somehow Sting gets behind Vince at this point and drops him with a death drop. Shield gets to the ring and he hugs it out with them. Sting is in the Shield? Not really, Sting is the Shield. Wait what? Sting has had a master plan for years to take down not only Vince but all of the WWE and sent the Shield before him to prepare for his arrival. He's been playing the long game and now on the precipice of Wrestlemania XXX (because it is a BIG AND ROUNNNND number) he is ready to take his revenge. He will also sort of match the Shield visually based on what he's wearing so ... symmetry. He is also the reason why the Shield haven't imploded. Because they have a coach to get them refocused when they are on the verge of collapse. Sting seasoned them up and sent them on their way. So what revenge? Vince destroyed his company. Took all of his friends, business partners, enemies and swallowed them whole. But Sting wouldn't sell out. Nope. He watched and waited while Vince not only killed his present but took Sting's past, his history. (Release your WWE Sting DVD here) So Sting is going to ruin WWE's history by destroying the greatest historical accomplishment WWE has. The Streak. Depending on Sting's and Undertaker's health you could either do a single or an 8 man at the big show. I think a single would sell better but an 8 man gets more people on the show and covers up that Undertaker and Sting are much more limited now. You could also do the 8 man as a lead up. I would recommend The Usos and Kane (yeah, why not) if we are talking Mania or slide in Bryan if you are doing it before. That works in guys who have been feuding with the Shield the longest.

Speaking of someone who doesn't look athletic.

Batista turns heel in the time between Wrestlemania and now. Orton drops the belt the chamber to an appropriate face... let us say in this instance Rey Mysterio for the most continuity but Cena would also work. Bastista wins the belt at Mania (preferable without Authority help because that story line is fucking cooked) and starts dropping the face with multiple powerbombs but who is there to save the day? Duh. Knee that beat Cena. YES YES YES point point point.

You know for all the talk about how booking is burying Daniel Bryan, Orton is really the victim of some shitty shit writing here. I mean they haven't made the guy do or say anything interesting in months, they are just having him do his 'greatest hits'. How someone can be the World Champion and be such an afterthought to the program is dumb. He could really benefit from some time off or something, anything new to do.

I've always hated the "look athletic" thing any way. How does someone look athletic? Either you can perform athletic feats or you can't, what you look like is fairly irrelevant. Does Warren Sapp look athletic? He is 300+ lbs, he's not that tall, and is kind of built like a bowling ball, but I'd be willing to bet he is a better athlete than everyone on WWE's roster. CM Punk isn't that athletic, but he doesn't really need to be. Everyone complaining about Punk and his lack of athletic ability is kind of missing the point. His entire character is basically the kid in school who got picked last, but he is tough and willing to do whatever it takes to win. It wouldn't make any sense if he looked like John Cena with his shirt off, because no one who looks like John Cena with his shirt off would call himself CM Punk. With all the shit people are talking about him, he is still consistently puts on really good matches. Do you guys think that Mick Foley's elbow should have looked like Randy Savage's elbow? They are different people, with different characters, and different skill sets, their should be differences in how these different guys look, act, and wrestle. Whether or not they look athletic is about as spurious of an argument as you can make on whether a guy named CM Punk is a good wrestler. I'm not saying that athletes cannot have different physiques. There is a great photo array out there of professional athletes from different sports and how a professional shot putter looks different than a professional volleyball player. Mark Henry is built the way he should be. He works a power gimmick. Mick Foley was built the way he should have been. He worked a lunatic gimmick fell off tall stuff. CM Punk works a 'best in the world' gimmick but doesn't look that way. He doesn't execute offense well enough to pull that gimmick off. He's Lance Storm working a technician gimmick when he just punches and throws drop kicks. If you want to say he is this underdog character, I have yet to see him ever act like he was over matched going into a match with his attitude or promo work. He is always, "I'm the best!" He doesn't work underdog. He works his offense in no matter the match up or context.

To Cobra Commander: Not if he doesn't work that way. William Regal works a style which realistically looks like it would be fucking awful to face. He works joints and tendons and stuff in a way that looks like it actually hurts. CM Punk's stuff looks like garbage so I don't give a fig if he can put his fist through a brick wall in real life.

I totally see CM Punk's value as a guy on the payroll. He is a great promo and managed to rally the crowd behind him more than a few times. But bell-to-bell I can't really point to anything he does really, really well which is pivotal to the WWE style. When you look at the WWE roster, it breaks down to a style clash (in a good way) pretty much every match. If Mark Henry turns it into a slow paced, power match he can beat anyone. If Rey Mysterio keeps the pace high, he can beat anyone (you know, when he had knees). Even Chris Jericho who doesn't have that outstanding physical attribute turned into a signature move counter machine late in his career. CM Punk doesn't do anything that well. His martial arts are fucking terrible (oye that round kick). He's not quick or strong really. He is supposed to be smart but doesn't work 'smart' like a Bret Hart would do. He's a independent worker who just has this stuff and the booking determines who is more awesome that day, not any logical progression of storytelling. Like if he worked Chris Hero, what would be his game plan? Would it matter or would they just do their stuff for a while? Even Jake Roberts who people brought up as a less athletic guy than Punk, had that one knock out move in the DDT and would build matches around that. Punk's GTS just looks flat out bad about 1/4 of the time and so he can't use it the same way Jake did the DDT. Also he can't hit it on bigger guys.

I really think that if I take a wait and see attitude that things will change for the better. There is no way they can honestly think that this is entertainment and will soon change their direction in a way that will be, you know, actually entertaining. I can keep my positive outlook and things will improve! I'm talking about the quality of these posts. Pointing at signs? Really?

To do that you need to break up 3MB and to do that you need a Yoko Ono. And god damned if 3MB doesn't need a Yoko Ono. Throw Sasha Banks in a turtle neck and glasses today! Have her change Heath Slater's taste in 'music'. Have Drew tell Heath that 'it used to be about the music man'! Have Heath tell Drew to 'Slag Off!' I said slag off! 3MB Breaks up Jinder releases 'Jinder' and tears the house down at WrestleMania with PitBull! It's going down, I'm yelling Jinder! You better move, you better dance Let's make a match you won't remember I'll be the one you wont' forget! Wooooah (Jinder), Woooah (Jinder), Woooah (it's going down) Wooooah (Jinder), Woooah (Jinder), Woooah (it's going down) (An actually appropriate reference to PitBull! I should get a internet cookie)

With the concerns regarding being able to get Bo Dallas over in WWE since his current character may be hard to translate without a push, I submit to you... Bo Dallas, Youth Minister Kids today. Am I right? They really just don't the right attitude. They don't respect their elders! They watch the pornography! They don't have jobs! What the kids today really lack is a hero. Someone who can guide them down the right path, but with the cool hip lingo the kids understand and respond to. Who bettah than Kanyo... Bo Dallas? With his winning smile and ability to play a guitar (maybe? hell if I know), this cool cat is here to make your kids UnBOlievable! Bonus if he rides a bike to the ring in black pants, a tie and a bike helmet. Double secret bonus if he's the youth minister of the Wyatt Family,

I guess if you are trying to get a cut of the Duck Dynasty demographic? Its very base-level thinking from the merchandising department who doesn't get what they are selling. Daniel Bryan's beard isn't really something super important to the gimmick but it is a defining feature when you look at the guy. But its like selling Steve Austin bald caps, its not who Daniel Bryan is just what he looks like.

Vice-Principle Renee Young maintains order while smiling to herself when the kids leave the office.

Dude looks like he works at an ad agency by day and ties up women in an old steel mill at night. Or a weekend. Or government holiday. Or if he took some flex time because he spent a long night working on the Flesher Account. Flesher Soap When you have to get all of your DNA off the body! That's Flesher Soap!

Or the 'we want to do this showdown in the middle of the ring thing with 2 guys but not eliminate the third guy who is on a Ric Flair push.'

So I was thinking about NXT today and came to the realization that the characters in the promotion are like totally High School to the max. You have your goth girl in Paige, your jock who everyone actually likes in Mojo, the other goth kids who just like the outfits in the Ascension, the shy kid in Bayley who just wants acceptance, the marching to her own drum kid in Emma, the mean girls in the BFF, that annoying stoner kid in CJ... and that I thought, "What about Bo? Where does Bo fit in?" BOcause you can't really have a NXT analogy without Bo. And then it hit me. Bo is the guy who wins student class president because only 6 students actually voted. But man, now that he won? Woof. He is making speeches at lunch about having a mandate to make this the best year ever at Vince McMahon High! He will change the cafeteria to vegetarian meals only. He will wear his campaign button allllll year long. He has spirit! How aBOut you?