DangerMark

You are the reason WWE wrestlers can't have surnames, dammit.

I thought all the best British Tennis players were Canadian born apart Andy Murray who is infamously Scottish

You're not the only one, everyone else in that zone looks like they've gone off in a huff, too.

EngLOLand were looking good for it until lunch. Hameed and Burns racked up fifties, but them Malan got run out like a chump and it was all downhill from there. Bumrah made the Pope and the Bairstowtaker look foolish.

I'll only be impressed with the shades if he does his post match interview in them and the voice oooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, Mean Johnny Agnew, oooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

That settles it, Jackie Chan for GHC.

And as an added bonus, England are three down going into the start of the second day. Good luck getting drunk enough to cope with a Root-less England batting innings

Muto wishes he walks as well as Jackie Chan these days.

I don't know about Football, but in Rugby League, Scotland seems to be allowed to call on anyone on the planet named Lachlan.

I'm a little sad that talk of bread and wrestling hasn't turned to Bakery Yagi, but I can't think of a decent (read: terrible enough) joke to make it fit.

Banzuke is out, Takayasu went down to Komisubi and I was one out with my Hoshoryu prediction: M1. Ichinojo, who is quite possibly the worst wrestler in terms of technique in the top division, is back up in San'yaku. I remain furious with Midorifuji, who clings on to a Juryo spot despite his utter sluggery against my boy Abi. Even with the win, Abi wouldn't have been promoted - looks like only Yutakayama went up this time - but next time.

I've been away in a field this weekend, and I was hoping to listen to the final day on the radio on the train home. So much for that.

I've been going down the Bread Club tweets for getting people on board with Koji; just find some of his English language tweets, anyone who doesn't love that isn't worth knowing.

Takemura helps in that regard. In the manga, he's bragging about the awesome Tenryu vs. Hashimoto fight he saw, drops a DDT on someone, and has a WAR t-shirt. My favourite Pro-wres reference in a manga is Flame of Recca, once the tournament begins, before the heroes are taking it seriously, one guy has Masa Saito's theme blaring out of a tape deck before his fight.

I don't know, feels like a long time since they've tried anything else.

Despite the stat posted by my esteemed colleague @The Natural, Rory Burns is England's second highest run scorer on the year, if you don't count extras. This goes some way to explaining why Sibley has been dropped in favour of Dawid Malan, but Burns survives despite his last outing, the kind of dismissal the word "bamboozled" was invented for.

Getting off the Titanic just in time to cadge a lift on the Lusitania.

That's carny as shit.

Imma stop you right there and say that the list of people that it should have been exeedingly easy to get some sort of enjoyable midcard value out of could start at Titan Towers and be long enough to find you in Finland.

He wasn't. He was on stage, talking about an interview he'd given where he said that he didn't really want to murder everyone and bathe in their blood and all that other good stuff, and that actually it was all life affirming stuff (pretty much word for word what AxB said,) but then said it was all a lie to lead into the song. Reading what I wrote back, maybe I didn't make that clear.

I swear the guy out of Kreator did a similar bit on stage once (in the bit, he was talking to an interviewer) and he finished with "I TELL YOU NOW THAT I HAVE LIED TO THE MOTHERFUCKER! I FEEL IT IS A GREAT... PLEASURE... TO... KILL!!!" No idea why that popped into my head.

He would be doing everyone a huge favour.

I don't think England are too far away, there were two things that India did twice that England at best only managed once each: Their top three hung around and they mopped up the tail. If England can find an opener who can consistently avoid getting out in the first over, they can do the first of those things; then the second is a case of not outsmarting yourself. Bowl at the stumps and eventually you'll find the hole in Bumrah and Shami's bat. Of course finding a better opener than Dom Sibley is probably harder than it sounds. Burns seems the better batter, but he probably deserves the ol' shepherd's crook for that second innings dismal. I mean, dismissal. He was completely bamboozled.

India become the second team to declare after lunch on the last day and bowl their opponents out in the fourth innings; and bear in mind with Ishant Sharma gone at 208-8, they might have thought they were in decent shape against statistically one of the worst tails in Test Cricket, although probably not any more. Jasprit Bumrah has doubled his run count in this series. I think that deserves another EngLOLand