Brandon Bones

And that class… is how you sell.

{Labored Pancake Breathing}

Hook gives me hope for America’s youth. Interesting how the tag title match played out. For a moment I was getting kind of snarky over the announcers calling Private Party “kids”. I’m like: “Come on! Let them grow up.” But ultimately I got what I asked for as they kicked out of a parade of killer death moves. Went down dying hard. Loved it. I like Swerve so much more with Keith Lee. Awesome sell of Athena’s finisher from Ford.

Next week sure is gonna be something. When I heard the title match was moved up. My first instinct says somebody backstage is like “we gotta get the title off this guy”. That is if I’m to take any of this backstage news at all seriously. I’m going to be careful not to judge too quickly here. If this really stems from a vague reference to Colt I’m gonna roll my eyes. After all the shit talk in promos between Punk and MJF. I’m actually MORE surprised it didn’t come out more blatantly there. How does Punk even entertain the idea that it doesn’t come up? At all? Really? From the guy that likes pipe bombs? Just make boo boo face after work. Brother. So much “for not judging too quickly. I’m gonna need someone to eyeroll me too. By the way… Naturals posting of that HHH promo on Punk definitely “hits differently” now than it did then. If it’s a worky/shoot. Then fine. Might as well make it one at this point. But hasn’t AEW been planting seeds for this the whole time? Punks uncertainty over which tunnel to go down? “Be careful what you ask for…” Telling Page “it’s just business and he taking things too personally”? Dogging on Long Island for a week afforded them a chance to have a heel Punk poke his head out. It has been an hour since I finished that paragraph. I’ll ask this. Is AEW doomed? Is this inevitable backlash fallen in star alignment to snakebite the show as a whole? Or is it an occupational dispute that’ll eventually iron out like wrinkles? Also where would AEW be right now if they HAD left the belt on Hangman? An Omega rematch?

When Punk says he is “Dollars and Cents” he kinda means it. He isn’t wrong about that either. I’d say Punk having a loss (even a bullshit loss) in his first year is getting good mileage bookingwise. I honestly think it’s about time for Punk to turn heel anyway. The big return, big feuds, took him all the way to the title. Oops. Got injured! “Smooth”. It was a good run. But it got allll fucked up with the injury. Let’s be bitter. I can’t judge Punk. I’m repressing a lot of anger too. Did I say that out loud?

That look you make when a certain banned poster returns under a different name.

A weekly live Friday Night show starting at 9pm on the east coast has a lot of potential to widen the scope in that more adult in tone delivery AEW seems to favor. Additionally, another live hour mean more slotting in bigger longer matches. Eventually those pillars are going to need to be a roof.

Good grief! Why didn’t my parents have the good sense to name me that. The Redbeard fellow sure is a quality professional wrestler. He really has turned me around with his sporadic AEW appearances. He really worked that crowd. Give the man a few more opportunities I say. I also would enjoy watching this team continue. I thought the main event was awesome. OC works because his character is somewhat minimalist but never shallow. He illustrates this with spots like the “let me pin you, roll away” segment. But it’s all slight of hand because before you know it you’re in a pretty great rasslin’ match. Storyline wise The Trustbusters had a notable night over a couple of segments and did manage to hold it together going 2 and 2 with the Parker win, not getting OC to join, or Daivari winning his match, yet avenging all that by having the big plot twist be the Sonny heel turn and getting OCs spot instead. Phew! I don’t know much about Skye Blue beyond her AEW work. But I get the sense that there is more there in the ring for her than what’s been presented so far. If her jobs keep going the way they have. I can see a the crowd building up behind a good ole underdog baby face. More judo Tay, less Sammy everything. Kidding! That reminds me. I would like to apologize for my prior comments about Warhorse. I suppose there was a kernel of truth in my shameful comments (that I shall not repeat here). My intention was merely bust some balls and get a laugh. I’ve seen exactly ONE Warhorse match ever and am not at all qualified to even make an assessment of his validity. Sorry Mr. Horse. Be more like Warhorse and less like Brandon Bones. Thank you. Hook had the unfortunate coincidence of using the word “Yup” right after this weeks Better Call Saul. Additionally he forgot how to be stoic while whatshisnuts from NJ was doing whatever that was. Another match that took place during the show was Dispensary Weed vs. Good Old Drug Dealer Weed. It went to a 4hour 20minute time limit draw. Play me off Keyboard Cat.

Well this show was a good time. Loved the opener with Darbs and Brods killing themselves for my amusement. At one point I cringed seeing Brody walking around with tacks still stuck in his stomach. Gnarly. I was distracted during the Lucha team match. So I can’t comment. But my chicken Alfredo was excellent. Really loved the title match. One of the best uses of The Walls in a long long time. Mox sold the fucking fuck out of it. He really is The Man right now. Excellent. Happy to see cave dweller Punk make a good return that legit surprised me. If I have to go grey. Can it least be in cool Reed Richards streaks?

“Yup yup yup yup yup.” I died.

Is it me or is it weird that the D+ content is overlapping in its release times. While for the last few weeks there hasn’t been anything being churned out. I would have figured (and how the app started up) seemed to suggest a one-at-a-time release schedule to drive focus to the new hot thing. Earlier this year I had been hearing that Obi Wan and Bad Batch might have had some overlap weeks. Which I thought was a bad idea to have both out there and shave off you audience from OWK or outright kill TBB. Thankfully, they moved things around. I might be way off in understanding viewing habits in this new age of streaming services. But at a surface level it seemed sound.

I’m sure the novelty of the gimmick must appeal to someone somewhere. Like that one casual fan that only shows up once a year at Mania and talks about the fucking Boogeyman all night. He’d be a Warhorse fan. And then you look at your friend through with Boogyfan is connected. And he is all: “I’m sorry. He is my sisters fiancé and she begged me for him to meet the guys.” Blah blah blah… fuck off. That guy.

That promo of Nyla gesturing to a nonexistent weather map still gets me.

I keep being distracted because my instincts keep telling me Mance is doing a Steve Austin impression. It was a good promo though. That being said I wasn’t really into this match with Mox. They sold it prior as a fighty brawl brawl. Instead it was whatever this mish mash of bleeding and leglocks was supposed to be. I’ll give Warner another shot if AEW does. But I don’t think he got much out of this. Don’t be a Warhorse. A rare miss for Mox. Leila has to have spent some time at the PC, right? I like the booking of Madison being plugged into a quick program with Jade. But this match wasn’t great. I wonder what the chances are for Rayne being remembered if her highest exposure is what? Peak Impact? I didn’t watch any of that stuff so I’ve got no knowledge of her beyond the name. But I am aware she has something of a reputation and some credit to spend in padding Jades record. The street fight was fun. It may not have been the original plan. I like that it’s worked out this way with Swerve and Lee. That German Suplex off the apron was nuts. The “monkeys in the truck” figured out how to shoot that top rope double stomp. So that helped.

Indeed. It’s a great pairing with Britt. I just love how physical she is in ring. She seemingly has no fear of the mat. She always bumps hard attacking each slam etc with enthusiasm. There is just something in the way she moves that reminds me of Kawada. I kinda want her main offensive move to be nothing but Yakuza kicks. I’m not certain Hayter is ready to be champion just yet. But if she has another banger at BOTB with Thunder Rosa like she did late last year? That should springboard her right into the path that’ll get her there.

In the interest of staying on topic. I’m fairly certain Hayter had new gear with a color scheme that matched closer to Bakers. Perhaps a subtle nod to the teams development getting them a win.

It seemingly gets on forever… because it’s Black Metallic. It’s just what that song does. Even those who love the song gleefully admit it.

I white knuckled the arm rest of the couch for the entire episode like a commercial airplane in bad turbulence.

Anna Jay was really good on this episode. Ruby sold her arm off. Good ole dumb referee dirtbag finish. The promos were really an overachievement in sweetness with the silent support from Eddie and Ortiz backing up Rubys words. The meat on the bone being that these are 3 characters that understand and respect each other. Damn, I loved it. Anna JAS- The promo was solid. My instincts tell me to expect not fucking up the promo as a basic expectation. But I was underestimating. It was much better than that. She completely showed she was invested in this new character direction which gave it enough conviction to sell it. I’m in. I rather enjoy the Lethal Trio. I also feel really guilty about it. Saw that Santam fellow at the ROH show. Large chap, that one. Looking good tonight was Ethan Page. Subtle connective tissue doing the Toronto promo during him squishin’ a dude. I see you AEW. Embrace Bizzaro World!

One of the things the old fogies in the biz generally get right is that there is a way to lose for the betterment of your career. Even Danhausen seems to have it down. Dude got beat in a minute and a half and he’ll still have the credit to stay over and even do the underdog rallies to victory later on. AmDrag is a master of this if his 2013 is any illustration. Now let’s compete over who loves him more. ?

As much as I hate being teased that my favorite wrestler is injured. As much as I hate to see him lose. That was a great way to do it. He has massive credit to spend and isn’t at all diminished by this loss. Good tv. Very happy to see Garcia get elevated. Another wacky fun awesomeness wrestling show this week. Who knew Jungle Jack had it in him?

There need to be Konosuke memes of him at Cinnabon being served by Bob Odenkirk. Not saying it would be funny. Just need it.

I was fine with the recast. If Gene had turned the tables on Jeff he should be kind of diminished by it. Plus I’m plenty threatened by that goddamn sweater. You don’t not notice the recast of course. But the rear view mirror shot was also evocative enough to smooth that wrinkle. McClaren is incredible.

I’ll spitball a couple of ideas. If formulating a good strategy for rebuilding ROH is the expectation in this moment. I have to think that’s asking a lot at this point. It’s awfully early in the process. ROH is coming back in some form and I get that getting it right is paramount. IS piggybacking on a Dark taping a good idea if it’s that easy to now conflate ROH as a developmental program? Because obviously some people WILL draw that conclusion and write off ROH. I feel I might since I don’t watch Dark/Elevation because the once or twice I did… I thought I was watching AEW Wrestling Challenge. Another issue is a solo tv taping sounds expensive. But the brand identity has a stronger integrity if you do? Hopefully? I can’t say either way what the right thing to do is. But I can say that TK is two shows in and ROH is elevated in my attention span in ways it hasn’t since Gabe left. I bought the ppv in March and bought tickets for this weekend. I guess I’m in. Looking at it strictly from an HR pov. I get it that it sucks for Greshem and the company needs to do better. If AEW is going to be the antidote to WWE, one of those ills that needs curing is having a better forum for employees(?) to manage their careers.

Awww man! You cut off my punchline. But you can count me in on being bummed out that The Briscoes didn’t come out to Gimmie Back My Bullets.