SturmCRF

So close to being able to cancel TNT Sports, between this and UFC being so riddled with bastards that I no longer want to watch it. It's not really worth it for a quarter of each weekend's football matches, but fuck, I still need the ability to watch Bournemouth vs Sheffield United at 12:30 on a Saturday.

He's great, I hope they start using him more often and mix him in with some of the non-lucha talent, I can see he's great at playing off of flippy dudes, but I'd love to see him vs a Moxley or a Christian or a Keith Lee, or anyone really.

I'm with you on Nigel, for sure, I think you've nailed my problem with him. He's actually very good at what he does, I just don't think it helps to have anyone doing it. Reading the rest of what you wrote, here and elsewhere, does make me question what I like and don't like about AEW, and wrestling in general. I got into it from the start because it seemed like a promising alternate major league wrestling company, with a bunch of wrestlers I already liked, and The Young Bucks, who I didn't like but at least indicated that tag wrestling would be treated seriously. A lot of their earlier signings to fill out the roster seem very indie in retrospect, probably because they were, but I fucking loved that they'd have Kip Sabian almost take Hangman to the time limit, or Kenny and Janela have a mad brawl on Dark. The Cody challenge made every week exciting. 'Warhorse, oh, I've heard of him, that will be interesting.' Then he gets a shot, doesn't really convince, but hey, maybe Eddie Kingston will. Oh look, Eddie Kingston rules, signed. The looseness to it, and the sense that anyone could get pushed if they got over, that no one was being punished for obscure reasons or treated as a non-entity because they weren't an established star, was great. Then there were all the pandemic releases, and loads of my favourite WWE wrestlers who were being wasted got signed, and most of them seemed like upgrades on anyone outside the main event. When Hager debuted on the first Dynamite I was encouraged that they'd signed another credible main eventer, now they have about 25 of those and the idea of giving him any sort of push seems absurd. Meanwhile, I finally stopped watching Raw and Smackdown a couple of years ago, partly because of the dominant, part time champion hellscape, partly because of unwatchable Vince garbage, and probably mainly because my girlfriend got into wrestling through me and she can't stand most of their presentation, so why would I inflict it on her when we can enjoy most other wrestling together? The idea that WWE is good now under HHH confuses the shit out of me. There are really good wrestlers there, and I watch the PLEs and NXT, but you still have Akira Tozawa being a comedy jobber, and a fake tertiary world title, and corporate new-speak, and 20 minute scripted promos starting a show. And I will always love pro wrestling and AEW still seems leagues ahead of the alternative, so they have quite a lot of rope before I'd consider even missing a Rampage, let alone giving up altogether. I guess, in conclusion, my philosophy on wrestling is pretty flexible. Pure, sports based NJPW main event kinda stuff is my favourite, but I love an elaborate storyline if it sticks the landing, I love a heel turn, it doesn't take long for me to get nostalgic about total Wrestlecrap gimmickry as long as it's swept under the carpet quickly enough to become an obscure shared reference and doesn't eat up too much TV time. I love that Edge and Christian can treat the last two decades of their careers as canon and have a feud in AEW, even if match wise I'd prefer a 40 minute Danielson vs Garcia technical classic taking up half the show, or Hook vs Swerve, or Buddy Matthews vs anyone. Ultimately I want a variety show, I want to feel like any style of wrestling could break out from segment to segment, and I want talented performers who are floundering in one company to be able to go and realise their potential in another. I never got into comics because I found the idea of all those years of interconnected lore overwhelming, but they also lose their appeal to me the second they become too self contained. Wrestling is like a lifelong, real life comic where I do know most of the story threads and character histories like the back of my hand, so as long wrestling as a whole continues to satisfy that need, I don't care too much about the minutiae, even if I'll discuss and think about it ad nauseam. Still couldn't care less about The Bloodline, though.

I'm a Dad! My girlfriend is a fucking superhero. Her waters broke at 4:30 yesterday morning, about seven weeks early, the plan had been a Caesarean in mid January but she had to do it the hard way without any painkillers stronger than gas and air as she's had a blood clotting issue. Robin, my son (fuck it feels surreal to type that) is doing really well in the premature baby unit, his Mum insisted I go home for the night as I'm a terrible sleeper and I was never going to get any at the hospital, but going back to see them in a couple of hours. Having had maybe three and a half hours sleep, but hey, owt is better than nowt, as I think they say up North. Just thought I'd let my internet home know, this definitely qualifies as really swell. Between my lifelong obsession with wrestling and my girlfriend becoming an AEW and New Japan and Stardom maniac since meeting me a week before the great 2020 pandemic lockdown fast tracked everything, I am hopeful that this little guy will also love big, meaty men and insane, bendy women performing absurd acts of semi-scripted violence for his entertainment. But if he's just into Tik Toks and Blippi and haircuts, we'll love him anyway. FATHERHOOD~!!!

I'm fine with it if they then call Ilja up to the main roster to beat Gunther for the IC Title at Wrestlemania.

Please don't give them any ideas! It's bad enough having one company trying to distract their fans from an absentee World Champion by pretending their secondary titles or magic briefcases are just as important.

I'll always find it impossible not to like Punk for the secret best bit of meta weirdness in internet history. I just love the idea of him researching the history of Liverpool FC and spending hours posting in the footballsoccer thread just so he can go undercover as an Englishman living in Canada to troll himself on a wrestling forum for months on end. If Tony Khan was a real DVDVR guy he'd pay Rafa Benitez to unveil himself as The Devil and cost himself millions driving away confused fans just for the sake of the world's greatest possible, multi layered in-joke.

I do remember watching that and thinking, Mick Foley talked about what a bad idea it was doing that from the apron, and said the only reason it wasn't worse was that he had a big, flat ass. MJF's top rope version was a brave bit of improvisation, possibly or possibly not fuelled by fear that Swerve and Hangman had just upstaged him, but it was definitely very stupid.

Great article Matt, I don't think you're reading too much into things and you were spot on with most of what you wrote. That being said, I loved Swerve vs Hangman and hated MJF vs Jay White (the shape of the angle as a whole rather than the match itself) with a passion. Ultimately, I will always hate a Hogan, a Rock or a Cena as a character and plot device, even when I can appreciate the performer. I just can't buy an underdog story when the people telling it have failed to convince me that Earthquake/Wade Barrett/Jay White have the slightest shadow of a chance to win. Every element of this feud, from the belt hijacking, to the Samoa Joe and other challengers waiting in the wings, to the insulting ambulance angle on the pre show, guaranteed that Jay White could not win the title without going deep into the kind of Russo territory that they always avoid, so I found it impossible to get into. MJF has done a great job of making the crowd pandering touches work in the context of the match and his character, even the Kangaroo Kick is always hit at a logical point in the match and looks like a solidly connecting dropkick variant that hurts. But he's still playing a variant of the dominant WWE Champion, I still spend every title defence waiting for the run ins, and I really hoped AEW could be a refuge from that, especially in the main events.

The Best Live Experiences thread reminded me of maybe the most baffling wrestling related experience of my life, which doesn't quite fit in there. I'd gone to New Orleans for Wrestlemania 34 in 2018, not a good Wrestlemania, but the one that I get to say I have physically attended. When I was emptying my pockets for the security pat down/scan, I take out my Kindle to put in the little tray. The security guard looks at it with total astonishment and says, 'Y'all READ?!' At the time and for years afterwards, I assumed she was just confused and disgusted that anybody might read for pleasure, and maybe that seeing this Kindle had affirmed everything she had ever believed about the effete, intellectual degenerates that they produce over in England. On more recent reflection though, I've begun to wonder whether I was being uncharitable to Americans, and the thing that really blew a fuse in her brain was the very idea of a non-illiterate fan of professional wrestling.

I'm down for Jungle Boy as The Devil, assuming he can rise to the role. He needs some sort of faction if he's going to be any sort of main event heel, and there'll never be a better time to capitalise on the Wembley thing making him vaguely controversial. I've seen a fair bit of Mariah May from watching Stardom over the last year or so, she's really good. Not on a par with the best wrestlers in Stardom, but more than fit to share a ring with a Natsupoi or a Mayu and have an excellent match. She should immediately slot in as one of the better wrestlers in the AEW womens division, hopefully they keep adding to it.

I think that's the worst possible thing they could do, they shouldn't be finding another major thing to copy from modern WWE. If anything, they should move their one World Title around a lot more. Distinguish themselves from the endless title runs that the competition has comitted themselves to, give those guys you mentioned a shot. Move back towards a more sport like presentation where the belt can change hands without months of storyline foreshadowing, and the focus is on the actual match, not who's friends with who and who might or might not run in. It's not what they will do, but it'd be great if they did.

I wasn't able to concentrate on everyone's wrestling takes with this shit festering in my mind. So sorry, you're going to have to show your workings here, because if your main takeaway from the last couple of weeks is 'Israel eviscerates children', you might be advised to seek out news somewhere other than Al Jazeera or The Canary. If you just didn't like the Juice/MJF angle then sure, not many people did, wrestling probably isn't the right medium for that kind of thing, but seeing as reports of antisemitism have gone up sixfold in the UK and probably similar or worse elsewhere, one might argue it's actually the perfect time for Max or anyone else to fight antisemitism. It's gotten pretty bad out there, there are Nazis, Islamists, arch wrestling board contrarians, more anti semites than you could ever need or want. And if you didn't mean for your brief 'Let me tell you why I skipped Dynamite' snark to be taken that way, maybe don't suggest that it's inappropriate to discourage people from hating Jews when the Jewish state that they created after some people tried to kill all the Jews is killing people in its desperate attempts to stop the terrorist group whose founding document is heavily themed around Jew killing. Apologies mods, I know this is why we don't have a politics folder, but this garbage has been sitting in the thread for a day now. Anyway, I liked the V Trigger in that finishing sequence. Max Caster getting distracted like an idiot when he had the match won was stupid.

When I was 16 and had just been dumped by my first girlfriend, someone was nice enough to introduce me to a girl who was a big wrestling fan. And to give 16 year old me some credit, I was cordial enough to her and not a total gatekeeper elitist prick about the fact she was mainly a huge mark for The Rock rather than the grand traditions of professional wrestling, but I did give her an extended soliloquy on how excited I was that Kronik were coming to the WWF. I'd never even seen them in WCW, I was just a big fan of Crush and Adam Bomb and was very into the idea of them teaming up. She, politely, thanked me for the information but confirmed she could not share my enthusiasm, because they were a bit shit. It didn't totally scare her off as she invited me to go to a Mick Foley book signing soon after and we stayed on good terms, but nothing ultimately sparked between us and it's hard not to blame Kronik.

Everyone seems very quick to assume Naito beats SANADA, but I'm not so sure. They've committed this far to getting SANADA over as a main eventer, and him beating Naito is a more interesting story. Naito has already gone through his whole arc and got his big win over Okada at the Dome. I'd have SANADA win and then drop it at New Beginning to someone more interesting like Tsuji or Shota or Uemura. Or even ZSJ! On that subject Natural, while we're never going to agree on Ospreay, I also love ZSJ and wish he'd get a main event push. What I don't know is whether he bears some responsibility for being typecast as an upper midcard workrate guy. His wrestling is incredible, his character work is a joy, but I wonder if both are pitched slightly wrong for what people thing of when they think top of the card wrestling champion. Maybe that just means NJPW should adapt to allow for a submission based, vaguely Clockwork Orange hipster douchebag at the top of the card, but maybe Zack should integrate a few more impactful moves and add a bit more edge to his character. Don't get me wrong, him vs Danielson was probably my match of the year and I crack up at almost everything he says, but he could do with projecting as being a bit more brass ring grabby to make that final step up. Say what you like about Ospreay as a person and wrestler, but he has the aura of a dangerous idiot who's just smart enough to Hidden Blade the shit out of anyone in his way.

I have four tattoos, one on each shoulder, one inner bicep and one outer. The inner one hurt the most, but it was bearable, no worse than a routine dentist appointment. Didn't get my first one until I was into my thirties as I never thought of myself as a tattoo guy, but glad I have them now. I would have more, but I find the whole process prior to the tattooing itself kind of intimidating, I don't like explaining my weird ideas (even if the idea is 'please replicate the Watford FC club crest, I want this on me permanently) to strangers. At some point I'll get round to it though, I still want to get one of a carton of semi-skimmed milk where its green cap is the only colour I have across any of my tattoos. Because I really fucking love semi skimmed milk, like a marginally less bald and much less athletic Kurt Angle. Also one with the phrase 'Confusion is not an obstacle, nor clarity a solution' from The Armed Live At The Masonic, because it's a genuinely wise and useful epithet that I've never heard anywhere else and The Armed are the best band in the world today. And they have about 86 members, so if any of them are outed as sex monsters it'll be easier to handwave it as a statistical inevitability than with my Daughters tat. Don't have any wrestling tattoos and can't think of many I'd want, although the Dark Side Of The Ring on Herb Abrams' UWF did make me seriously consider a purple, green and yellow cowboy boot with 'Let's hear it for the Jews!' written on it.

It's also what nearly every footballer says when they get a transfer to a new team. They don't generally intend for fans of their old employers to take it as a personal affront, they're just expressing enthusiasm for their new one. Leave Jade alone, TwitterX bastards (I'm assuming), if you don't cut the shit she'll throw you in the sea.

Look-Danhausen In ring-Tugboat Promo-Kallisto

I have thousands of the things distributed across shelves in three rooms of my flat, I'm team CD forever. Why would I get caught up in this ludicrous vinyl phase, start rebuilding my collection from scratch and obsessing over collectible colour variants of multiple LPs that have the same music on them? I do feel bad that Spotify has its hooks in me now though, which combined with running out of physical space and CDs getting more expensive means I don't buy as many. Amazon also doesn't do even slightly obscure stuff anymore these days, so I mainly just buy them at gigs, that way at least the band gets (most of?) the money.

Pig Destroyer's cover of In The Meantime by Helmet is amazing. So is the original. Both essential gym playlist tunes.

I don't like the precedent of them doing a PPV where the AEW title isn't defended, but apart from that, yeah, I'd agree. Lots of fresh matches, a proper pre show, should be good.

Now you've made me mourn the Brock Lesnar managing a Target docu-sitcom we're never going to get.

Ryan Nemeth having maybe the best theme music in AEW?

One more reason to like Willow, that Soul Glo album is excellent.

My section got a brief 'Fuck the Tories' chant going during Ospreay vs Jericho. I threw in a perfunctory one but then remembered I was trying to enjoy a wrestling match and stopped. The guy to my right got visibly agitated and asked the world in general if they'd rather have Labour instead, and I thought about saying yes, Corbyn's gone now and 2023 Labour couldn't help but be an improvement over the current lot of reheated Boris Johnson leftover bastards, but then remembered I was trying to enjoy a wrestling match and said nothing.