Buy Me a Burrito

If they made it an option for the AppleTV I'll be on it like vomit.

I had to write an obit of the guy for work. Here it is.

For the record, I am either one of the Mulkey Brothers or one of the Cole twins. You can figure out which one.

Slowly but surely. Thanks.

Just hanging out with Tully Blanchard.

Fuck this Batman rehashing. Arrow was pretty damn good last night.

Hurricanes!

He confessed on twitter to being Fat Spanish Waiter.

This whole Marvel v. DC movie thing is as insufferable as any Gonzalez post. Seriously. When I was a kid I literally prayed for any comic book movie to be made and as an adult I go to see all of them. Some of them I like, some I don't. Everyone should shut the fuck up and just enjoy superhero shit.

It's a show marketed towards kids. Kids don't stay up until 11.

Sometimes when I poop I pretend that Gonzalez goes all Seka on my turds.

Fucking Hurricanes.

I like the Hurricanes.

Take off the headband and use some punctuation.

Serious question: Do you post after a few pots of coffee?

Can Michael PS Hayes be the Michael PS Hayes of wrestling?

So I went to WreslteCade and the Fanfest that went along with it yesterday. I had a pretty darn good time. It was the largest indie show I'd ever been to (this place had about 1500 people in attendance, and the largest indie I'd seen before that drew about 50 people). I'm not much of an expert recapper, but I thought I'd share some thoughts that I joked my way through on Twitter last night. FanFest stuff: Reby Sky is trashy, but smells so nice that it makes her hot. Matt Hardy was a really nice dude. His eye creeps me out, though. Tully Blanchard was a nice dude. 7 year old me was so pissed off for shaking that asshole's hand. I asked Manny Fernandez about if dropping the knee on the Invader was a shoot or a work and he offered to knee drop me so I could find out. DDP was amazing. Really cool guy and I told him that I did DDP Yoga. We talked for ten minutes about my workout and he was very genuine and real. It didn't feel carny, unlike... The Rock and Roll Express (specifically Ricky Morton) are carny as fuck. I don't mean that in a negative way, I was flattered to be hustled out of $5 by one of the masters. Cody Hall was a nice dude. He was HUGE. We talked for a minute or two about the Iron Claw and how he wants to bring it back. I wanted to ask him why he's wearing his dad's old gear, but I didn't get around to it. I kept seeing the Boogie Woogie Man and every time I came up to him he was eating. I felt weird bothering that little old dude eating what looked to be a salad out of a ziplock bag, so I avoided him. A LOT of people called me brother, brother. I'm not used to large numbers of people around me that are into wrestling. I talk about it online, but in real life it's something I do alone. My wife will watch NXT with me because she hates Summer Rae, but that's about it. It was strange being at the fanfest because of this. During the intermission I ran over to a coffee shop where I saw a dude with a beard working. We talked about The Arcade Fire and that helped relax me. I guess I'm a self-loathing aging hipster. The Matches: Gunner defeated Robbie E (with Brooke Tessmacher). Before the matches started, I ran into Robbie and Miss Tessmacher coming i to the venue. Miss Tessmacher is so hot that I freaked out when I saw her and she smiled at me. I turned bright red and walked away. Gunner has a great look but he's so goddamn bland. Does he do anything hurty on TV? I know these guys were working light, but still. Robbie E is boring and I couldn't figure out if his act was supposed to be a comedy thing or a serious thing. Next up was a 5 way for the PWX title. Steve Corino, Sonjay Dutt, Hurricane Helms, Adam Page and Caleb Conely were all in this match together. It started out with a really funny Steve Corino promo. He lost immediately after putting up the mic. That's good, because Corino looks less imposing than my high school gym teacher. I've never understood his appeal. Sonjay Dutt was eliminated next. He is the most boring dude in the world. Hurricane was eliminated next. He was sort of there. Adam Page was sort of fun, but Caleb Conely came across well in the match and pulled out the win. I have no idea who the last two dudes were, but they were decent. There was some sort of women's clusterfuck with Maria Kannelis and Gillian Hall, but I barely paid attention to it. Hacksaw Dugan wrestled Davari, and I just feel bad for Hacksaw. His routine is just old and worn out. I will say that he was giving out Ho's during fanfest like Halloween Candy, meanwhile Tony Atlas wouldn't do his laugh for $5. Asshole. Davari was ripped to the gills. The largest part of the card was a giant tag team guantlet match. The less said about the beginning the better. It was neat seeing the Rock and Rolls wrestle, and them coming out with Boogie was one of the best moments of my life, but Jesus Christ there was some bad workers in this match. Buff Bagwell was shitty, and Rick Steiner managed to be even worse, and Demolition was hands down the most depressing thing that I've ever seen. Manny Fernandez was old and barely touching people, and George South played heel while wearing trunks with "I Love Jesus" on the back of them. An old dude sitting near me remarked that he couldn't cheer against him because of that. I laughed. Two teams that I've never heard of, C&C Wrestle Factory and the Bravados, wrestled the last bit of the gauntlet match and it was pretty good. They put on a good match with lots of facial selling and some smartly worked spots. I like C&C a lot. During the intervention I met Mr. Feinstein (or someone that looks just like him) from the video company. I didn't realize that it was him at first. Finally it all clicked. I was going to buy the Jim Crockett Promotions documentary from him when temptation got the best of me. I asked how much the DVD was, and he said $30. I replied back "lol, I'll pretend you said $18" and started laughing. He claimed to have not heard me. I walked away quickly and bought the DVD from Highspots. The last two matches was a Tommy Dreamer/CW Anderson I Quit Match and a Matt Hardy/Carlito ladder match. The Dreamer match was guys that wanted to work light and have a hardcore match at the same time. Dreamer won, and after it was over and he left the ring the remaining guys tried to make the crowd give CW Anderson a standing ovation. They weren't having it. Matt Hardy is the new Ricky Morton. That lazy eyed psycho will be able to tour the Carolinas and make money off of lower-middle-class trailer park women until the day he dies. It's pretty incredible. With that being said, he is a boring as fuck worker. He throws a decent punch, but that's about it. The less said about Carlito the better.

I am going to WrestleCade in Winston-Salem, NC tomorrow. If any of my fellow DVDVRs are going to be there and want to say hey find me on twitter using the hashtag glassbottomboat.

That was supposed to go in the CHIKARA thread, right?

Hurricanes!

Here's another question: is anyone planning on going to the Wrestlecade event in Winston-Salem, NC on Saturday? I'm thinking about driving over.

Brian May and Burt Ward?

I prefer to think of myself as a goblin or an orc.

People saying Wade Barrett showed them nothing are forgetting about the series of matches he had with Orton just before his elbow injury. He seemed to be ready to take te next step and was awesome in the ring.

Fuck all of you, Mason Ryan is amazing on NXT.