Gordi the former AEW fan

All right then. Having had a nap, finished the choring, and played with my daughters for a few hours, it is now time to go through that amazing, worth - getting - up - early - for PPV more thoroughly. It will help fix it in my mind, if nothing else. I was delighted by Cobb vs Dorada. Although it was in fact the second-most-delightful match I watched today where Cobb ragdolled a smaller-sized insane bumping machine (thanks to porksweats). I love how Cobb is a) freakishly strong and b) totally fine with,and really good at, letting the other guy shine in there. He's absolutely one of my favourite current wrestlers. So I am glad I didn't turn my alarm off. I had miso soup with pork and vegetables, smoked chicken breasts, potato salad, and two of the reduced-calorie Japanese energy drinks called Jungle Man that I can buy from the vending machine around the corner. They have become my go-to morning-or-afternoon wrestle-watching beverage. That, or green tea. I almost always do a conbini run the night before PPVs or big Dynamites. The convenience stores over here are THE BEST. I chatted online throughout the show with my old friend who used to post here as TheCobra2, who now lives in Tokyo and also woke up before 5 am. Also his friend (now also my internet friend) who does jiu jitsu and was able to join us because open mat was cancelled today. Cheeseburger! Seeing him always makes me feel like it's Wrestle Kingdom. 2.0 worked straight southern tag heel style, except I think they didn't do the spot where the ref misses the first hot tag, driving the fans crazy. That spot used to work like a charm. Speaking of crowds, oh boy do I love how organically over with the crowd Pure Babyface Willow Nightingale has become! What a joy! And I definitely remember Trish Adora from Dark and Elevation, fighting ladies like Emi Sakura. She eventually gets murdered with a pounce and a Doctor bomb. Willow vs Athena, eventually, will be molten. Both of my chat buddies thought that Top Flight going over counted as an upset. Not I. I expected the AEW homegrowns to win, and was delighted they did. The result also led to me winning the picks contest. Great preshow! Every match in a different style. Strength vs speed, southern tag, hard-hitting, pure speed and athleticism. I think this is the first time I have seen Dralistico working as Dralistico. I like that there were at least three teams of actual brothers on the show today! Also, I was delighted that there was a theme of "dudes catching other dudes" and marked out EVERY TIME it happened. Speaking of marking out: SPECTACULAR FINISH to Top Flight vs Kingdom! REPORTEDLY CONTROVERSIAL FINISH to the Roosh Brothers vs FoxHeart. Which I missed. Due to streaming issues. (As in, I had to go pee). A.R. Fox is, in my opinion, a very good addition to the AEW roster. Preston Vance cleans up real good. Good Heavens Athena is a GREAT heel. That was nasty. Hell of a fight. I like how they held off on the Lee vs Taylor BMMSM portion of the match. Reminiscent of the Kingston/Akiyama dynamic in their tag match. Interesting story, and some insane strength spots. Hopefully Taylor shows up on AEW TV again! Keith Lee vs Jeff Cobb, please!! So: Cages have gates. But so do Castles. Some castles have cages. Not all castles or cages have boys, but some do. And if boys are in a cage in a castle, it's likely that agony is involved. I loved that match, by the way. Cage, Liona, & Kaun are such great big walls for all the little speedy trios teams to throw themselves against. Long may they reign! I am stoked that Toa Liona is a champion. I have been a fan since he first showed up on YouTube. At this point I was physically pretty sleepy though my enthusiasm was by no means waning. I don't wanna be controversial but in my opinion both Wheeler and Garcia are very good at pro wrestling and also they match up well. Maybe it was the sleepiness plus the energy drinks but Daddy Magic's nipple talk gave me the giggles. 2.0 are really entertaining,he said, bringing on the controversy yet again. I thought they made excellent use of the Pure stipulations. I was kinda shocked that Double Dog Collars wasn't the main event, and I felt kinda bad for Juice and Joe and Jericho and CaesaROH that they had to follow that. It was great. Every match that FTR and Briscoes have fought has been straight-up great. Hats off. And thank you. All time crimson mask, all time sick bump, feud of the year. As Ian said, a violent masterpiece. I felt bad for Juicy Boy, but I guess Toni Storm can comfort him. Heel Joe is great. This was the second-best Heel Joe match this week, which isn't actually faint praise. My favourite juice is probably pineapple. Or sparkling barley juice. Also: Good job on quickly laying a new ring canvas after the blood bath, AEW ring crew! Oh! The crowd! Bless them for being able to keep it up after that tag title match! I liked Jericho's jacket. I loved the various OCHO! chants. We got an all-time cool reversal in the world title match as well! Jericho continues to make his case as an all time great pro wrestler. And Claudio is going to be a geat champ. I love professional wrestling.

In an INSANE year for great wrestling, FTR and Briscoes have easily 3 of the 10 greatest matches. Maybe 3 of the top 5. Straight top 3 is not unreasonable. Unreal. I woke up at 4:30 am for this. Worth it. Loved the whole show, from Cobb's insane strength to the Giant Swing tapout. Crowd was amazing. Ocho!! Final thought before nap-time: Dalton Castle should team up with

Yes! Right up my alley! Let's do an AEW before they were AEW exchange here! Did you know Arn and Regal were pro wrestlers before they were managers? I also make a "whatever happened to stunning Steve Austin?" joke.

The Kingdom (Matt Taven and Mike Bennet) vs. Top Flight (Darius Martin and Dante Martin) 2.0/Jericho Appreciation Society (Angelo Parker and Matt Menard) vs. Shinobi Shadow Squad (Cheeseburger and Eli Isom) Mascara Dorada vs. JEFF F'N COBB!!! Added as preshow matches during Rampage, as well as: Blake Christian & AR Fox vs Ingobernables (Rush & Dralistico) on the main card. In addition to: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Claudio Castagnoli, Singles match for the ROH World Championship & If Castagnoli loses, he will have to join the Jericho Appreciation Society Daniel Garcia (c) vs. Wheeler Yuta, Pure Wrestling Rules match for the ROH Pure Championship Mercedes Martinez (c) vs. Athena, Singles match for the ROH Women's World Championship Samoa Joe (c) vs. Juice Robinson, Singles match for the ROH World Television Championship Swerve In Our Glory (Swerve Strickland and Keith Lee) vs. Shane Taylor Promotions (Shane Taylor and JD Griffey) Dalton Castle and The Boys (Brandon Tate and Brent Tate) (c) vs. The Embassy (Brian Cage and Gates of Agony (Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona)) (with Prince Nana), Six-man tag team match for the ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Championship FTR (Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood) (c) vs. The Briscoes (Jay Briscoe and Mark Briscoe) DOUBLE DOG COLLARS, BABY!! It's at 5 am tomorrow my time, so that means... I'll be going to bed early tonight! if it were up to you, would you put the World Title or DOUBLE DOG COLLARS on last? I figure if you're ever gonna main event the tag belts over the world title, now is definitely the time. I COULD see them going with FTR vs Briscoes to open HAWT, as well...

Never thought I'd see the day where Gordlow & DEAN both vote for an Impact match over stuff like Mox vs Takeshita (and everything else), but Speedball and Alexander really earned it this week. If enough people see that match... Would this be the first time Impact wins DVDVR MOTW?

SEVEN on Seven Violence! Yesterday I had NO IDEA Trent Seven even existed. Now I am STOKED for a potential Orange & Dustin vs Trent Seven & Kip match. Amazing. Dude has a great bulky and hairy old school heel look, hits hard, can play along with Orange's shtick without looking a fool, and has Octopus-level facial hair. Looks like Mox & Takeshita saw Speedball vs Alexander and decided they weren't going to let Impact steal DEAN's poll this week! Wait! Hook has already been around for A YEAR?!?! EVERY TIME Moriarty's music plays I think it's gonna be Magical Girl. Markhausen made me lol. JEFF COBB on Final Battle! Yeah!! Such an exciting hour! Also: NICE KOBASHI T-SHIRT THERE, EDDIE KINGSTON!

@RIPPA@Dolfan in NYC@Peted @DEAN

Oh. So now Sammy is piling on the "make fun of CM Punk and Larry" bandwagon, too? Shameful.

Is it Shaq?!?!

They should run Joe vs Darby Best of Seven but, like , one match every six weeks or so to give Darby time to recover.

F'N HELL WHAT A MATCH THEY JUST ADDED TO FINAL BATTLE! Just sold a bunch of buys I guess. What a show! So much wrestling! So many excellent things set up for the near future! I hate fake injury angles. Hate em. BUT: A Battle Royal with both Dustin and Dalton involved? Way to win me back over IMMEDIATELY, AEW! Fuck Big Cass, though. That looked legitimately dangerous. Cool finish to the Battle Royal! Who could have predicted Starks DEMOLISHING Friedman in the promo battle? That was great stuff. Joe nope-ing out of a Darby tope was EXACTLY what I wanted out of these lads. Bits of this were reminiscent of the legendary Nero Butcher match. Like that sick powerslam. I was bummed out by Joe's heel turn because I LOVED Ward-joe, but HEEL JOE IS SO AWESOME! TWO GREAT, CREATIVE FINISHES IN A ROW! That truck bump was SICK. CLAUDIO SNITZKIED THE HAT! In my books, that's a pure heel move. Hager should wear the hat next week, but it has a hole in it. SHIDA VS HAYTER! I hope my heart doesn't explode. My heart survived Baddies vs Goodies so I guess it's strong enough. That was a really good trios match. Pretty classic structure. MOX VS LARD LAD!!! GOOD HEAVENS!!! I was legit surprised that the crowd reaction was not more divided during the main. Hats off to FTR. They have no problem putting another team over clean. What a show! DOUBLE DOG COLLARS!!

Special Whole-Buncha-Gordlow's-Favourites Edition of Elevation Write-up Legit way more stoked for this than I was for RAMPAGE Higane Shinno is from Ehime! I have been to Ehime several times, as my mother-in-law is from the neighbouring prefecture. I love Ehime! I think even most gaijin who live in Japan never make it out there. The small city of Matsuyama is in my top 5 or 10 places in Japan. The onsen there looks just like the one from Spirited Away. i was gonna say "Too bad Nicky Boy's gonna kill him" but then AEW gave us the SHOCKING UPSET (spoiler). Hot damn! I wonder who will team with Shinno vs Nicky Boy & Solo. Maybe Lard Lad?!?! Comoroto, like Hobbs, somehow seems to keep getting MORE jacked. Unreal. LOVE the ending to that match! I generally enjoy Nyla more as a Twitter personality than as a wrestler, but Shafir tying ladies in knots and Nyla subsequently crushing them really works as a tag team deal. Plus they are building an intriguing "Disinterested Vickie" storyline here, too! LOVE Kittie LeFleur's Old School look! Kiera Hogan looks great in there, in both senses, but I was hoping she'd work more as a face and play to the crowd a bit, now that she's an ex-baddie. Outrunners also have a great old-school look and style! I am intrigued by the Indianapolis Indie Scene. Is this a thing there? I like it! Outrunners vs FTR, please! Maybe next time AEW hits Indiana. Top Flight gets a big crowd chant right away, then goes out and EARNS it. The Ethan/Matt/PP story they are telling here is pretty great. I love YouTube-exclusive stories. Way to reward the really hardcore fans, AEW! If they put Madison over Emi, I riot! We Will Chop You gets more over with the crowd every week. Sadly, they didn't pop for Tea Time this week. Tigastyle! Sir Pentico!! Jacked Up Luther!!! Big Cass. Will Luther and Cass get into it on the outside? Sadly, no. Big Paul adds some frisson to the match by saying Serp is 99-0 in AEW. Even heel announcer Matt Menard excitedly pulls for the underdog here. To no avail. (spoiler). I am enjoying ALL OF THIS so very much. Then we get GATES OF AGONY & Brian Cage. Local Guy Dan Adams, who wears glasses and dad shorts, is a huge crowd favourite. Awesome. Cage catching Neon Ninja in vertical suplex position is totally sick! YES! Dalton & The Boys come out to challenge the hoss team! Team Castle representing 2020s style wrestling. Cage & GoA representing 1990s hoss style! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Presumably on the ROH PPV. Great addition! Reynolds vs Kip! Another fun YouTube-exclusive minifeud! Announcers do a great job of explaining it without over-explaining. And you can feel the hatred in the ring. TAKESHITA gets the YouTube main event! And Nicky Boy comes out with Solo! Oh baby! Takeshita & Shinno vs The Factory! Give it me! Takeshita gets a MASSIVE POP and they are maybe doing an Elite Recruits Lard Lad Story! That was GREAT! Thank you, DEAN, for the heads up. Also, w/r/t Ehime. Their mandarin oranges are famously delicious. They make a special orange juice there named Pon Juice. If you go to a convenience store in Matsuyama you can buy Pon Juice flavoured EVERYTHING. Pon Juice flavoured Pocky, chewing gum, hard candies, gummy candies, etc etc etc. I recommend treating that stuff like Takeshita treats Cinnabon. Also try the grilled fish cakes called jakoten.

And, if I remember correctly, that was the end of WWE. So, once again, we are forced to admit that the doomsayers are making a great point. Also, let's remember the story of the boy who cried "Wolf!" As I recall, the boy kept yelling that there was a wolf among the sheep or goats and disaster was immanent and everyone came running and he got to be the centre of attention for a while and everyone was happy and said, "Gee whiz, boy who keeps crying wolf even though there is no wolf, you sure are smart and cool." And everybody liked him and we all learned something . So there's that as well.

I don't actually want them to be this super-mean and petty, but it would be funny if they gave him a finisher that was a badly blown buckshot lariat. I've said it before and I'll say it again: All I really want out of an AEW wrestling game is to have the five basic B-button moves be a puch or chop, a kick, a collar-and-elbow tie-up, an Irish whip, and a Canadian destroyer.

@DEAN Hey, DEAN! I am peer pressuring you! EDIT: might as well get this out of the way now: NO "GREAT" MATCHES FOR ME, PLEASE! No ***** Meltzer/Keith-style epics that go long, have tons of (empty) flash and multiple finisher kick-outs. I have seen too much of that. I am here for interesting/weird matches. I love Kenny. I love Okada. I loved Kenny vs Okada at Dominion. I DO NOT WANNA WATCH THAT KIND OF MATCH HERE. I wanna watch Kenny vs Little Girl. Gimme weird. Gimme crazy. Gimme violent. Please don't gimme self-consciously epic and flashy. Also do not give me Sports Entertainment. No WWE. WWWF is fine, if it's weird and/or involves Andre. Also, unless you specifically ask, I won't be giving out great matches, but rather weird or interesting or nostalgic ones.

The segment was very clearly meant to set up a tag match. The whole point of it was Taylor telling Lee he needs to find a partner followed by Swerve showing up after Taylor walked away. I wasn't sure whether to be excited about the match until both Matt and DEAN vouched for Taylor and then I got excited for it. And then I watched about 30 seconds from the middle of the video DEAN posted and it was just Taylor LAYIING IN a couple of huge forearms on BK... And now I am fully stoked for Taylor & Griffey vs Swerve & Lee, which will include some serious BMMSM action. Plus strange style. Plus, for those who prefer matches to have a storyline that isn't only concerned with who will win and who will lose and how, we also get some "Can Keith trust Swerve" dramatic tension, plus the frisson of a possible full turn where Swerve maybe turns on Lee and joins Taylor's group... Or maybe Swerve regains Limitless's confidence and trust. I think it was more than sufficiently set up by the interview segment, and by all the stuff that's gine down, erswhile, between Lee and Strickland. Mainly, though, BMMSM coming up! Hopefully Taylor sticks around. Also, speaking of BMMSM I would very much like AEW to bring in Calvin Tankman, team him with Powerhouse Hobbs, and not call them Calvin & Hobbs. Maybe Tankerhouse or Powertank. Then feud them with Orange and Juice teaming under a name that also doesn't make a pun. It would be the all time peak Arnie in the sky pro wrestling moment.

Interesting (and challenging) question, twiztor. AEW is pretty good at heating up and building up dudes with talent. I think a lot of people maybe didn't think Hangman was on Jericho's level three years ago but he's up there as a top guy now. MJF started out as Cody's understudy. The Acclaimed and Orange were unknown to me three years ago but now make perfect sense as championship title holders. The talent is obviously there already, if we are specifically looking for, uh, a racially diverse group of dudes good enough to get that level of push. For example: I'd imagine you could heat Limitless up to that level in six months to a year if you needed to. Maybe faster. Swerve or Hobbs don't feel all that far off to me, either. Maybe Darius or one of The Acclaimed a couple of years down the road if they can stay healthy? Also: I think anyone who's listened to enough Nofx (like, say, me) might be inclined to consider MJF AEW's first non-white mens world champion. EDIT: Based on, like, 30 seconds of him LAYING IT IN that I watched, Shane Taylor has eventual champ potential! W/R/T the fantasy booking. It's been a couple of weeks. I was hoping more people might play. I did mine as a basic thought experiment in this way: thought of all the healthy available AEW wrestlers I would like to watch in PPV matches and try to cram them all in plus some of my friends and personal favourites and a couple of other interesting outsiders. I ended up with an overlong and overcrowded show and also forgot Hook, Starks, and others. I didn't wanna cheat by checking the AEW roster page. Should have. But couldn't have possibly crammed everyone in without cutting my friends and personal favourites from the show. And even then it would have been obviously overstuffed. I believe it would have been a lot of really good wrestling. But also A LOT of wrestling. I think John from Cincinnati put together a MUCH better card than I did. I would happily pay to watch that exact card. He even fit in a couple of interesting outsiders without overloading the card. I think he approached it from a different, more logical angle. My main takeaway going forward is to maybe have a little more sympathy for the booker in terms of: maybe understanding a bit more why the PPVs go so long while also not including everyone I want to see. And also why even with a lot of belts it is not possible everyone I like (or find deserving) to hold or even contend for one at any given time. And reinforcing that for me at least it's realistic to want to have friends around. It would, I have to imagine, be really challenging to find the balance point where you are running a successful business while keeping it as much a labour of love as possible. It also underlines what an absolute motherload of talent that roster is. I think it's a worthwhile thought experiment and also a fun kind of mental masturbation. I'd encourage more folks to give it a shot.

Darby, Athena, and Orange all had foregone conclusion matches that were fun to watch in different ways. Cole Karter has good smarmy heel charisma and Darby sold a ton for him, Athena got to do her new "unprofessional" gimmick on Rampage, and Orange vs QT made fun use of the lumberjack stipulation. Juice vs Orange. OK. I kinda hope Juice sticks around so he can team with Orange and they "Arnie in the sky" it by calling them "Cassidy and Robinson." Shida gonna defend the WAVE title in AEW! Yeah! Uh. I guess I liked Satnam's suit. Heck of a job by his tailor.

NIFTY YOUNG MEN VERSUS THE FACTORY SPECTACULAR EDITION OF RAMPAGE!! Orangey Boy Cassidy vs Cutie Marshall: a nonchalantly agreed upon lumberjack match! To see who rules the Atlantic. Darby Allin vs Cole Carter: I want to say that if Bryan vs Bald doesn't win DEAN's Poll this week, I will eat a hat. But. I would have said that about Kingston vs Akiyama last week. So who knows? Anyway, both of the AEW Nifty Guys vs Factory Stooges matches have massive sleeper potential. Athena vs Former Ohio Valley Wrestling Women's Champion "Dynamite" Dani Mo. I am gonna go way out on a limb and predict an Athena win here. Hopefully she continues her YouTube tradition of "being" unprofessionally violent in the ring. It's really fun when she does that! Plus fucking Jeff Jarrett in the fucking ring again and fucking Saraya on the mic again. Will either of them win me over? I suppose there's a non-zero chance. I think it is more likely that Danielson vs Harwood gets zero votes this week than that I enjoy those particular segments. Still very very likely I will enjoy the show as a whole, though. It's also possible, perhaps even likely, that Elevation will be Gordlow's favourite pro wrestling show next week. While this edition of Rampage is, like, 60% aimed at my sweet spot (on paper), Elevation is pertmuch 100% Gordlownip. Can't wait!

Oh yeah. The Burberry Belt. It's no American Dragon Hemp Belt but it suits his character. And I forgot the main event! I was reminded that I got to see PAC in Dragon Gate in a small arena near Fukuoka a decade and a half ago. The DG influence on these matches is pretty clear. I am happy about that. These guys are kind of like Mahavishnu Orchestra or Weather Report or something... In that it really is a little too much but if you are that gifted and hard-working and also have that kind of chemistry then... It's not WHY I watch AEW but I enjoy it. I enjoy the hell out of it. Like an ice cream bar or crepe station at the buffet.

My big takeaway from this show is that for me, personally, Orange Cassidy's promo with QT was a million times more effective than MJF's epic "look at me cutting a heel promo here" heel promo. (Though, I do like that he set up possible programs with Kingston and Danielson - though, I will be bummed when he cheats to beat them). Same deal with him decking Regal. I do not dig fake injury angles. At all. And it makes Regal look like an idiot. But, at least it adds heat to the eventual Danielson match. Which will be great until the bummer ending. And speaking of long discursive workyshooty promos that are just not my cup of tea at all... Hey! It's Jade! Anyway, enough about the stuff that is not my cup of tea. Lotsa folks apparently love that stuff. Hope they enjoyed the heaping helping of it we got today. Sincerely. Joe vs AR is exactly the kind of thing I watch AEW to see. Established ex-indie greats vs up n comers. Or sub in a Japanese wrestler on either side of that equation. And obviously Bryan vs Dax. Good Lord! What a match. Why are they fighting? Because they are both great at fighting and they want to see who is better, because Dax wants to test himself, because Bryan doesn't back down from a challenge. More than good enough reason for me. Personally. Willow is why I watch AEW. Didn't have a clue she existed all that long ago. now I am delighted when she gets a win. I personally would like as much of that as possible. Certainly, we got a sufficient dose of it today. And Orange won promo of the night by a mile.

It's like waking up on Christmas morning. I know I'm gonna get something good, but I don't know what it will be... Then it turns out to be something I never asked for but also something I really wanted!

I figure if you're only gonna announce three matches for a two-hour pro wrestling TV show, it's probably best if all three of those matches feel like they might be pretty great. Like, say: Willow Nightingale vs Anna Jay AS, Bryan Danielson vs Dax the Ax, and Death Triangle vs Wayward Sons Part 3 of 7. I mean, I am gonna watch regardless as are most of us here, but way to get me maximally stoked with minimal information, AEW. Off to sleep soon, maybe they'll have announced more matches by the time I wake up. Maybe we'll get a nice surprise or two. I'm almost afraid to ask for anything specific (Like, say, JD Drake vs Sting or a Maki Itoh appearance). Just looking forward to: 1) Good wrestling and 2) Pleasant surprises.

I can hardly believe that it's possible another match beat out Kingston vs Akiyama. In the same week. In the same company. I was so sure that I'd be voting for Kingston vs Akiyama this week that I felt just fine about not voting for Kingston & Ortiz vs Akiyama & Takeshita last week. I think that if we include Kingston's post-match talk then it's unbeatable. Cannot be topped. But here we are.