The Idiot King

In watching the KOTR Tournament this year, I realized that I have this exact same scepter from a birthday party a few years ago. It costs $5 from Party City, and I don't blame the prop department one bit: It works. Also, Baron Corbin's Wrestling Undershirt looks like an apron.

No order, US-based only, because I don’t wanna speak out of my depth and I’m a real sucker for a good promo: Randy Savage Chris Jericho Rey Mysterio Jr Vader Owen Hart Daniel Bryan Ric Flair Eddie Guerrero Dusty Rhodes Curt Hennig Honorable mentions to Rude and HBK. Hot Take Honorable Mention: Brock Lesnar.

Boy, that Randy Orton/Mick Foley Backlash match is great. Everything Randy Orton is good at is on display there. Just game and giving and selling and obnoxious and instead of being the Deadly Viper Who Hears Voices, he's just a natural, smug shithead willing to die all over the place who wins in the end, not because he cheated but because he could hang in there even if he has the Top 8 Overall Worst Tattoos In Wrestling.

I hadn't really dipped my toe too much into this area of NWA stuff until lately so I don't know if this is a dumb question, but Jimmy Valiant's valet, Big Mama -- is she black? Also, kind-of-but-not-really related -- The Boogie Woogie Man as a gimmick generally -- it seems like just a riff on what Dusty was already doing but slightly more unhinged? Is that way off base?

The main was fun but woof, the rest of it. I liked Ambrose/Rollins - Cesaro/Sheamus a lot, it played to everyone's strengths. Even apart from not loving Jinder going over on principle, that match was short, boring and pointless. You'd be lucky to find a crowd hotter for a Nakamura championship win than tonight, and the whole thing just felt like a waste of goodwill that no one walked out better for.

I know there's a lot else going on right now, but how good was that Awesome Kong WTF episode with Marc Maron? The Chavo stuff was ehhh, but she's such a great interview and shed some great light onto both her complicated feelings about being called "Kong" and her whole foray into WWE. I really couldn't be happier for someone to find some success outside of the ring.

Absolutely. I think it's a fun loophole to exploit in the MITB rules. It's obnoxious, but it hasn't been done before (as far as I can remember). Though, I think there's an argument to be made about it devaluing the larger match and its place in history.

I liked it. Women's MITB was okay. Too short. Ending was...uh...transitional. The Usos and The New Day put on a hell of a match. I haven't been watching regularly in forever but are they always this good when paired up together? Ending stretch was a little wonky, but whatever, that was the sleeper best match on the card. I like the count out finish. Old fashioned, shitty, frustrating, keeps it alive (maybe unnecessarily?), but the stuff in ring was great. Lana isn't bad? Was that suplex into the ropes intentional? It was a little slow. I dunno, just kinda there. I like Naomi's submission. I wish Rusev had come out. Likewise for Jinder/Orton. Felt very "To Be Continued" in a way that wasn't interesting. Seemed like a rehash of their last match. I liked the MITB a whole lot. I'm probably more of a sucker for ladder matches (generally) and big dumb multi-man matches than some, but boy was Nakamura over! I loved the angle, thought it worked exactly as it should have, building up Nakamura and Styles. Owens is an MVP every time I see him, that apron suplex bump was silly and nasty. Dolph, for however boring he is as a character, still has a great dropkick. I wish Sami Zayn had more direction, but I liked what they were trying to do with him within the context of the match. Corbin winning was fine despite his weird hairline and it makes sense in the long term to have a "Uhhh...here's a heel you can face!" kind of feud with someone at the ready. The idea of a Corbin championship reign seems confusing from a bunch of different angles, but I guess that's the plan at some point in the next two years.

I know it'll never happen, but while we're speculating about people to possibly be "the face of the WWE," what about Sami Zayn? He could at least buy them some time until they get the Roman situation figured out or find a new Sure Thing to run into the ground. In fact, now that I think about it, a series of title matches pitting underdog face Zayn vs. monster heel Reigns would probably do a lot for both of them.

Nakamura has the better vest.

I don't think anyone is wrong about Jericho, but I do wish he was at least getting the same amount of credit and love the Hardys are benefiting from. I realize it's a low bar, but is there a better feud heading into Mania? That's a lot of heavy lifting for mostly character work.

I think Riccochet gets pretty severely underrated around here. I need to dig more into what he has going on during the voting period to be sure, but as for whose matches I would rather watch, on the whole, it's an easy choice for me. Gallagher is a very good wrestler, so I may be on the wrong side of history, but I am betting in six months when he's stuck as the third Vaudevillain, there's going to be a real severe cooling off on him.

Is Randy Orton's "As a backwater cult member, I now wear a sleeveless hoodie over my tiny pants" look working for or against the Wyatts here?

It's crazy that it looks like Bayley and Sasha are both going to be bumped out in the first round this year and I kind of get why, but still. Sasha is the better wrestler. Charlotte is the better character. Trading the title back and forth didn't do anyone any favors. I dig the PPV streak as long as it gets broken at Wrestlemania. Charlotte is better as a heel than Sasha is as a face. Charlotte has grown a lot in the last year while it feels like Sasha has stagnated some. I don't know. I voted Sasha Banks because I think her ability in the ring is ultimately the backbone of what makes the series with Charlotte exciting at all. She also looked really good bumping around and jobbing for Nia Jax.

These Bobby Lashley matches are way better than I expected. How, uh, how is his promo work these days?