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Everything posted by clintthecrippler

  1. My thoughts on the entire CM Punk/AJ/Michelle Beadle/whoever the fuck drew that drawing/whoever the fuck passed it around the locker room are best summed up by Norm MacDonald: "This may sound a little harsh, but I believe that everyone involved in this story should die."
  2. Imagining Bockwinkel in the Million Dollar Man role now has me disappointed that we did not get Wrestlemania IV main event Randy Savage vs. Nick Bockwinkel. Even under WWF restrictions/match length, that still would have been a badass match.
  3. Wow. Just when I thought Trading Places was one of my favorite movies ever, someone plants the thought of making it an El Santo/Blue Demon? (can't tell with the BW photo, maybe Mil Mascaras?) vehicle. Fucking bravo!
  4. They should just turn Sin Cara into a luchador hybrid of Doink The Clown and The Undertaker, where he uses supernatural powers to create multiple Sin Caras running around all over the arena and interfering in matches.
  5. And because of that promo, I have now spent the last three hours of watching Onita main events from FMW's glory days. Fuck yes!
  6. is and forever will be the greatest wrestling news site headline I will ever see. Another reason to love John Cena. His girlfriend comes to gloat "OMG" about one of her fellow female wrestlers pissing herself in the ring. Cena's just like "whatever, I shit my pants! No biggie!"
  7. Seriously doubting this report to be accurate, but if it is, we may be one step closer to that "Davey Richards vs. Davey Richards Inside a 15-Foot High Steel Davey Richards" main event after all.
  8. Here's a press release I didn't expect to receive in my inbox: ULTRAMANTIS BLACK Signs to Relapse Records Relapse Records is extremely proud to announce the signing of hardcore aural terrorists UltraMantis Black! Hailing from parts unknown, UltraMantis Black is the musical manifestation of underground professional wrestling legend UltraMantis Black himself, backed by a cadre of anonymous musicians/warriors who may or may not feature ex- and current members of Pissed Jeans and Pilgrim Fetus. Simply put, UMB is the greatest band you've never heard. UltraMantis Black has waged many battles. As a professional wrestler, he has fought a never ending array of opponents worldwide, hell-bent on usurping the Great & Devious insectoid leader of The Order of the Neo Solar Temple. In his quest to decimate the unconscionable and depraved current state of the cultural grappling landscape, he has guided his Spectral Envoy of the Final Judgement through space and time as they deal out justice in the guise of revenge towards those who desire to harm and exploit the vulnerable and voiceless. Now, UltraMantis Black takes his struggle to a new level. Set to release their debut EP in early 2014 via Relapse Records, UMB seeks to further spread his gospel through a relentless musical assault of hardcore cacophony. His message is a simple declaration of war. A godless jihad against those who continue to systematically enslave, torture, and murder the Earth and all innocent and sentient life that exists upon it. Clear missives of animal, earth, and human liberation delivered under the secretive cloak of lucha libre to the soundtrack of blasting audio terrorism. Stay tuned for details on the EP release and impending global domination as UltraMantis Black take their electrifying live show to an arena near you. In the meantime you can watch UltraMantis Black destroy pathetic jobbers HERE and read his storied history at this location. This is UltraMantis Black. Prepare yourself.
  9. I could live without the RAW Roulette gimmick overall, but I loved the Goldust vs Regal mini-feud that centered around Regal always ending up embarassed to be a part of whatever match the wheel spun. The "Trading Places" match was fun, but I think the "Vegas Showgirl" match they had was better.
  10. Tonga Kid is retired and living in Northern California these days. His son Jacob Fatu is currently training at Rikishi's KnokX Pro Academy in the Los Angeles area and working on their shows. Showing great potential and a pretty charismatic face, has the same aerial presence his dad did back in the day.
  11. Joey Cagle & Rocky Sorter? A tag team called The Heartbreakers. One of those '80s tag teams where it was two fat guys with blonde mullets doing evil pretty boy gimmicks. I don't think they were in the wrestling business much longer beyond this. I think they are part of an eight-man tag that is part of the '80s Memphis set.
  12. And what joy is there when the faces never win at anything? Am I seriously the only one that remembers this entire board melting down over The Nexus showing ass after only a couple of weeks? I am in the camp that three weeks is not enough to declare this an nWo scenario just yet. Not to mention that we haven't hit the actual go-home show for the PPV yet. Yeah, but it's supposed to get Punk over. Not Big Show, not Cody, and not The Miz. At this point Bryan is pretty much a prop in this storyline. Because God forbid a storyline be overarching throughout the entire roster and attempt to get multiple people more over.
  13. Out of all the different places that I could have seen a house show match between One Man Gang and Tommy Rogers, the fact that I saw it at an ECW house show is still kind of weird and fucked up to me. Lansing, Michigan in January 1999. And that crowd was REALLY into One Man Gang that night for some reason, he was getting face pops for literally every move he made. He did that thing where he raises his fist in the air, goes "huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!" and damn near everyone in the building did it with him. One of the more surreal experiences I've had as a fan at a live show.
  14. Wow, you can definitely see the Dusty worship in Ric's early promo work. Early hints are still there, but Ric is definitely still finding his own voice here.
  15. The vid is from 2009. Man, that look was awesome for Sabu.
  16. Best unlabeled/unadvertised obscurity at the end of a tape: NWA World Champion Terry Funk vs. jobber Sonny Rogers from Florida. The match itself isn't anything special, but there's not much footage from Funk's NWA Title Reign floating around, so that was a nice bonus. Worst unlabeled/unadvertised obscurity at the end of a tape: an entire NWA New Jersey show from 1999 headlined by Gillberg vs "Nature Boy" Rik Ratchet. And sadly, that was the BEST match on the show.
  17. I always got a kick out of the fact that when Sting and Ultimate Warrior got together to form their clone team, they called themselves The Blade Runners instead.
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