DangerMark
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Everything posted by DangerMark
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Ahh, thanks for the info; it surely sounds unpleasant though. I swear I saw a tweet to the tune of "so that's how to solve the Hokuseiho Equation" but I tell you right now that doing anything like Ura would is neither possible nor advisable. Tobizaru vs. Anyone who has ever been an Ozeki: 3-0. Tobizaru vs. non-Ozeki: 0-3. One unbeaten fighter left, who would have guessed, not I. Takayasu's Bridesmaid Streak is alive and kicking.
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Herniated disc in the back, yikes, that sounds painful. I hope he gets better, even if that means he can't fight any more. Who had Nishikigi, Takayasu and Gonoyama as the undefeated rikishi through five days? Not I. Interestingly, Nishikigi has technically already fought Kirishima with a fusen on day one, which should make his life a little easier.
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Stats Update Through Day Two: Percentage of active Makuuchi fighters need their topknots styling before they come out: 97 Total wins for all Sekiwake to make Ozeki: 29 (ten each for Hoshoryu and Wakamotoharu, nine for Daiesho) Times Ura has made a routine bump look like a matter of life and death: 2 Kinboshi handed out: 1
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153-4 at lunch, biting nails time
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Moeen Ali is a well regarded (T20) batter and Joe Root inexplicably sucks at #3, so LFG. EDIT: he went as soon as I posted it, so we'll add it to the pile:
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I hope no-one was too excited to see any Ozeki this basho: Takakeisho and the newly renamed Kirishima are out.
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I stand by what I said. I truly believe that England wouldn't be in a position to win the series - however unlikely it might be at this point - if they didn't have that Errol Flynn mentality. I do wish they'd tighten things up a little, but I also remember pretty well what the alternative looks like.
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Bringing Foakes in to keep wicket is not a bad shout, but Bairstow had been batting pretty well before this series so a straight swap would be difficult. Before this game, I'd have brought Foakes in instead of Moeen and just have Root as the main spinner, but it is quite clear that I don't know shit.
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Anyone bitching about the way England play is an idiot, this is great entertainment whatever happens. Unless it rains but I direct you to my esteemed colleague.
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Both of England's senior Cricket teams are in Win or Bust mode: the Men need 224 in whatever play actually happens tomorrow and Monday with all ten wickets intact - Crawley and Duckett made it through five overs - whilst the Women won a rain-shortened T20 in the last over. Three more games to win each; the Women can afford a non-result, but the Men cannot. This has not be dull in the slightest bit.
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Not a man who does anything slowly.
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He does that again in the second, and we can promote him to the Thread's Favourite Mark, I won't mind.
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Let's focus on the positives. This thread's second favourite Mark, (Wood, natch,) has decided that he won't trust it to the fielding: Bowls Starc, catches Cummins with his leg where it shouldn't be and England now look like they might bat tonight without Australia pulling the Big Brain Declaration Strat.
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Seems to have done the trick though, he went full Baz Ball on England for a-run-a-ball 118 to save the tourists's innings after an iffy start. Incidentally, 118 is the number of times I've watched Khawaja's dismissal.
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England finally get a win over the Upside Down: England Women win by 3 runs, and they only had to put up 186 to do it. Ellyse Perry was handed the strike needing three sixes from the last three, and she only got two of them, although I was still biting my nails at the end praying for legal deliveries. There have been enough extras already. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/66097255)
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2%, max. I don't even take things that deserve it more than 5%.
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Ahh well, I hope we're all ready for the thirty overs per day max from the now obligatory thirty seconds of silly buggers between the batter and the keeper whilst the bowlers get their breath back from constantly steaming in to fling it a billion miles an hour at a spot halfway between them and the crease.
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That was dickhead behaviour, to be fair
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I would call it somewhat unsporting - especially as the umpire seemed to think that the over was done - but legal. Still, those chumps in the Long Room would have been a national embarassment if all they did was wear those god-awful hats indoors. As for what else they were doing, jeez.
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My thoughts from the second test so far:- Johnny Bairstow looks like the Undertaker to me and - without commenting on the rightness or the wrongness of the protest - I would have loved to see him Tombstone that one protester. Apparently asking England batters to "please kindly not get out like total idiots" is too much of an imposition on their natural game. Oh well, if it pisses Michael Vaughn off, I suppose I can live with it. Is Joe Root really the best healthy spin bowler in England, or does the country just mistrust that style of bowling? He has a better bowling average than the rest of the team combined in this test so I guess it must be the former. I imagine England's plan is to be all out by lunch with a slender lead. In the unlikely event they're still batting by tea they'll declare.
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I can think of two English people that I would less rather listen to, but that might only be because I don't have to listen to him. He's no Steven Finn, that's for sure, I could listen to that guy talk about batting all day.
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In the latest chapter of Danger Mark Don't Know Shit: England go into the turn eight runs ahead. Well, it could have been more if they'd have batted, but at one point it looked like England would be behind, so.
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It would have been a lot easier to justify, had both batters been tail enders but Root and Robinson were looking good.
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Everyone knows that England want to score runs quick but an underrated part of this Brave New Way of Test Cricketing is that they always want to go get wickets. England declare on 393, Root not out on 118, Robinson with him on 17. Other highlights include Crawley opening with 61 and Bairstow's run-a-ball 78. Stuart Broad has all but gouged Warner's name on the new name and waved it in his face. If England can get Warner or Khawaja out tonight, it'll be worth it.
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Cue Kevin Keegan saying that I would love it, LOVE IT if England actually beat Stevie Sandpaper Bollocks and the rest of those grinning green 80s cosplaying pricks.
