John E. Dynamite

Eeeh I don't know if Spears has the kind of innate charisma that allowed DDP to be a credible World Champion. Shawn Spears is a very capable hand who's range extends from beating up the lower midcard to putting over the upper midcard/main event, he's quietly good at working as either face or heel, and is capable of committing (or even overcommitting) to a gimmick. He's almost a little too credible looking for what he's good at. He can get a weird gimmick over as a loner babyface, his heel work is better with a partner or in a stable, but he will always (and not always fairly) be overshadowed by better workrate guys. And he sure can throw a Death Valley Driver. Put that all together and the computer says Shawn Spears' closest '98 WCW comparison is... *beep boop, dial-up modem, Press Your Luck sound effects* ...turns out he's Perry Saturn.

Spears always had talent. He was kind of cursed by being the first non-Elite WWE ship-jumper, he became AEW (and particularly Cody's) pet project like they just had to make him this beacon. This example of "We'll Treat You Good Here!". Slapping every gimmick on him without testing them out in dark matches. Forcing him into feuds he didn't fit into. When I said all those months ago that Spears has First Boss in an Arcade Beat-Em-Up energy I didn't mean it as an insult. That's a super important role, that's probably half the boss fights players on that machine are going to experience and the one most people are gonna remember. He's probably the apex JTTS in AEW, it's a very important role and I'm glad he's settled into it.

Don't know why we assume it's Flair and not Tommy Rich.

You work a CM Punk debut, you don't work blowback over a rape joke. If this is a compromise/psuedo-suspension then I don't like how Max is working it and I don't like AEW letting it come to this.

I was vocally against The Acclaimed's gimmick the second it hit the air but the castigation of Caster is bullshit. They hit Dynamite working a total "edgelord" gimmick and it could have been vetoed after Day One. Both guys have the talent to pivot to a different gimmick but it didn't break that way. Max went out there every week and was allowed to push the envelope until he found a line to cross. It was a mathematical inevitability that he would eventually cross it. The PR against his (shitty) Duke Lacrosse rap wasn't even really that loud when compared to what Sammy got a nun's ruler across his knuckles over. You put a guy out there who outright tells you he's going to dabble in sexist and socio-politically divisive heatseeking and you more or less tell him to have at it for nearly a year. And then you punish him for taking it exactly one step over the line? Fuck the gimmick but the individual doesn't deserve to be punished when the company was absolutely fine with it all up until the point where they weren't. There was an argument when Cornette got booted that his racist joke should have been censored and edited before it even hit Youtube. Max getting suspended is what a good version of that argument looks like.

Nice that they have a baseline number, because next week's rating is going to be a bit of an outlier.

That's on Mark. If Jericho is talking over you, just whoop his ass, he knows you. He'll be cool about it tomorrow.

I think Christian's history and good will with the long-term IMPACT fan base takes some of the edge off all this. There are things to complain about here. If this takes audible heat off of Adam Page the next time he shows up, have at it. But if you're aghast at the heartless commodification of the IMPACT Championship, do not come at this if you aren't watching their show on the weekly. They draw one-tenth the viewership of AEW. It's harsh, but they should be so lucky that their belt is being treated as a prop in front of a rabid, sold-out Pittsburgh crowd.

Bear in mind Christian Cage having TV classics as easy as I butter a piece of toast is as much a part of the DVDVR Gospel as anything. Much less with Mark Henry on commentary. This is a funny place to have a problem with it.

This company knows how to string it all together. Christian Cage in a high-stakes 15 minute TV match that put forward a pretty fuckin' high-risk booking idea and actually pulled it off, Kenny put the work in like he ought have and this opens up a ton of stories. Miro vs. Fuego was perfect and everybody got put over. Britt and Velvet probably don't have 80 matches between them but they ran a well-produced match that threw Face vs. Heel to the side and they made it work. This was a huge success.

It's not a matter of if Ric Flair dies an on-camera death, it's when. And if he doesn't then his entire career arc from 1995 onwards will have been pointless. Woo. If you're in the house when he Flairs his last Flop (heart attack after top turnbuckle reversal bump is also acceptable), you better POP for it, brother. Again, woo.

I've seen Billy Gunn's kids and Arn's kid and Brian Pillman's kid and Dusty's kids and Taz's kid and Brilliante's kid and Luke Perry's kid and yeah, I'll say it, Brodie's kid and I swear to God I saw a Zybysko kid on Dark. Schiavone's kid no-selling a Cutter is the last straw. No more kids. Clones only. Homunculus. Golem.

What I wouldn't give for Ishii heating up Gary Albright before a match with Okada...

Position before submission.

How are these Texas judges agreeing with all my winners? But 30-27 Fiziev is atrocious.

MIX CD FOR MY FAVE BROS (I Am So Sorry) SIDE A 1. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 2. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 3. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 4. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 5. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves SIDE B 6. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 7. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 8. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 9. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves 10. Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves

Without broadcasting any more of my edgy thoughts on why I wish humans could like other humans as much as they like animals, I'll leave it at this - I think it's possible to feel bad for the horse who shouldn't be there in the first place and for the rider who went from likely achieving their greatest dream to being a global laughingstock/hatingstock within moments. Coach can screw off.

Publicly hating strangers is always made easier when you can throw some half-hearted animal welfare thing in front of it. This is what people like to do these days, this is how humanity loves to gleefully shame itself. Don't punch horses. But that horse can take a punch and probably isn't thinking about it much today. A trollish subset of the backlash against Annika is going to be psychotic. They kick people when they're down and they go after women differently. I feel bad for her. She does not deserve what is likely coming.

I too love to judge people on the worst day of their life, when their dreams are completely shattered for the world to see. Glad to know she'll return to Germany broken and defeated, go online and read all those messages from strangers telling her what a horrible person she is.

I am just now playing The Darkness (PS3, 2007) and after killing several mobsters with the Hell Eels that I summon from my body, I sat down with the player character's (likely doomed) girlfriend to watch TV. The entirety of To Kill a Mockingbird started playing. I don't know what to do, the game is fine but it's not as good as To Kill a Freakin' Mockingbird.

Adam Cole sits down for a face-to-face meeting with Vince McMahon during a Smackdown taping and Bobby Fish is cut before the show is over. Draw your own conclusions. The only name I'd bet a hundo on getting immediately signed to AEW is Jake Atlas.

Put the WWE Championship on Gable Steveson now. Mail it to him.

I wouldn't mind if some ex-judokas with crew cuts & two-tone singlets showed up and starting kicking the Stardom roster in the face. I think it would help out everybody.

Even if Jericho never uses it again, it's my frontrunner for the stupid WON Move of the Year award.

Does Chris Jericho often use the "Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker" backbreaker? The Super Judas Effect might as well be the Burning Fuckin' Hammer.