assfax

Just saw 3/12 Stardom. First off, I didn't think 7uppp's triple steamroller from the Triangle Derby would be topped in the same month. Then I saw BMI 2000's Boston centipede steamroller in the triple threat tag match. Tons of cool team moves all over this show. Ruaka leveled up at Korakuen. That was probably more like one o' those ones where you level up but then the bar keeps going and you level up twice. Miyu Amasaki leveled up after 2/23 vs Yuna. She looked nervous in a couple matches this year. Then there was that durned insane bump Mai took off the top rope. What the hell was that? That was like when you're watching an old PG movie and someone drops an F-bomb out of nowhere. Lady C with the pineapple sunglasses goes in the baby book. That triple threat opener with Ram and Yuna was awesome. Perfect opener.

So was Himeka's knee fucky after that apron dive or was that just a work? That match was gettin' me goin' then just kinda petered out even though I love 7upp. They had been building Ruaka and Nanae for a wee bit though. I feel like Saki Kashima is probably gearing up for her retirement as well. ON the other hand what in the hail happened to SLK vs AZM? Callin' BSHT. For me, Konami coming in and beating my baby was a major no-no. I felt like that "rip off" guy in the crowd at the beginning of Strange Brew. I want Jungle Kyona to come back more. Lady C was amazing in that Maebashi main event. That was a great match. Whole finish had me going. Himeka and Suzu Suzuki were getting the biggest reactions from the crowd. It was like everybody had a free wallop of courtesy juice but the true babies got the real stuff. Roulette match was weird. Buncha fluff then Tora and the bubble girl had the best Bugs Bunny/Yosemite Sam cartoon I've seen in years. It was like if Leon Schlesinger pulled an all-nighter with Jacque Tati and Takashi Kitano. The Billiken Death stuff would've went way over my head if I hadn't seen that Club Venus in Osaka youtube deal. He's like Azar's Big Boy with lucky rabbit foot powers. I'm bowdlerizin' but not far off the mark. There were two little hope spots where Yuna was going to grab for the foot that will just blow by the layman. He's USA in origin and part of whatever sacred fire brought us the Kewpie doll. Yes, I had to look that up. Giulia got the sheeit beat out of her (again) and it was good(again). She's low on the lovability chart for me but high on the reliability chart. Big ol' goose egg on the forehead. OBviously I'm rooting for Suzu. I mean dude, come on, that tippy top-rope German suplex was radiant. I need that damn Street Fighter 2 t-shirt she has but it seems like it's mostly just weird scam sites that have it nowadays. I mean who in the damn hell didn't think Mirai wasn't going to get completely laminated? Hashimoto coming in with that Spike the Dog physique. Lordy Jesus. That was some wildlife footage. Kamitani was over like a wet fart. Momo was into a pure violence that I had not seen from her yet. I feel like the true heels suffered the most from no cheering. You can't clap a boo. Well, you could... Thekla was in supreme highlight reel mode on January 28/29 shows. The exorcist bridge into the kuma pose was the greatest thing in the universe. Obviously done dirty in that roulette deal but what are y'gonna do? I'm going back into hiding until new shows release on stardom world. I'm also way into that Senjo stuff as well. Thank you, fuck you etc.

For fans of scintillating chops.

Lady C's carryin' the team in this Triangle Derby. She had a stealth singles match with Utami and this was full on kitchen sink stuff. That should've been the main event on New Blood 7. Speaking of, why is it every time I see Karma she stinks on ice and fucks up the flash paper? Why even use it? Gimmick sucks.

1.15.2023 Osaka Three way tag battle. They just beatin' the damn dogshit out of each other. This was Itchy and Scratchy level comedy. Syuri's kicks sounded like a spud gun. Kawada X Gallagher (RIP) Crowd is a billion times better than the night before (we said our goodbyes)

1.14.23 Osaka 7uppp vs. those Prominence bastards: This is the stuff dreams are made of. Also feels like 1.09 is way better than 1.08. Special tag match had me snoozin' and Ami blew her big opportunity yet looked great the next night. Club Venus girls are finally starting to get into a groove. Xia was lookin' like she was under water on those first couple of shots. Somethin' else was AKINO, Ayako Sato & Rydeen Hagane vs. Kyoko Inoue, Leon & Sonoko Kato on that 60th anniversary Korakuen Hall show. That was gettin' me goin'! My ass was dismissive but tolerant at first thinkin' this was gonna be some wimpy old-timers' day deal. NOPE

It's like Mumm-Ra with yellow moobs.

Things I wanna see in Stardom this year: Thekla vs SLK, possibly for High Speed title. Mina interferes on Kamitami's next defense. Saya loses the belt and the whole thing leads to a cage match. MaiHime start massive reign. I'm talking fire and brimstone old testament type stuff. They can stop doin' that powerbomb superplex thing. How is that a tag team move? She's powerbombin' Maika! Koguma beats Yuu in singles competition. Double blade job. More violent Hazuki. Waka teaming with Nanae and becoming monster heels. New damn looks for Ruaka, Natsuko and Hanan. Their in-ring has also been waaay stagnant. Get BMI 2000 some old Seikima II and X Japan records and have 'em go spend a weekend watching Cyber Ninja and drinking beer. Get rid of that damn old lady Rufio cut. Momo becomes leader of Oedo Tai. Lady C fighting those new Venus Club girls. Saya Iida starts bushwhackin' fools in earnest again. Is it too late to get Saki Kashima some Spike Dudley or, dare I say it, Jack Evans tapes? MORE Suzu Suzuki and Yuna Mizumori. LESS of that damn slow ass old referee. Dude stinks. He's always out o' position and sandbags counts. Guy is a turd. I still don't understand how the IWGP women's belt doesn't dilute the Stardom Red Belt? What is the thinking here?

VPW2 has the best flow for tag team matches. You can do an hour broadway and not be pulling punches on the CPU to get them to cooperate. You can manually do doomsday device double teams. The dives are awesome and you can go diagonally. Submissions off. They always suck. Me and Tenryu went through everybody on that game. Fucking great game. ASPW III has the best looking blood. Weird grappling system. Never could get the Tiger suplex from the ramp to the floor to work. My only real gripe with KOC II is the limited and overall shitty head choices. You also have to really pinch the tip to get a solid match from the CPU. The striking is just as exploitable as FPW. Also, there's only one arena that doesn't have slowdown on tag matches. Me and Jun Akiyama still have legendary beef. Multiple appearances, multiple movesets: any game still do that? I could have my main look, then me in Hart Foundation gear with 5MOD and Bulldog stalling suplex, then my faux Super Junior version from SFPWX PREMIUM in 2003. HCTP had insanely robust wrestler appearance options. I remember many moons ago printing out big 5 page detailed coordinates for a Big Boss Man and when I was done it looked fucking amazing. It wasn't ultra limited to keep you from making naked people and other babyproofing bullshit. I played WWF 2022 and the create a wrestler was a sucky ballache. It didn't even let me pick my moves. Gameplay was feeling like a bag o' assholes. A bag of assholes that had gone bad. Like, I'm googling "WWE 2K22 how do i get up". NOT OK. HCTP had Poetry in Motion too. Problem was everybody got so gotdamn good at the reversals that head to head matches was just dudes spinning around 'til one guy lost concentration. I also remember there being a Y2J kick that had high cheese factor. Shit sucks. I ain't wanted to make funny CAWs like Vigo and Brock Sampson in over 15 years. Shit used to be great and you'd be doing 4 player 100 man royal rumbles on No Mercy and some dude's dad would run out and he had legit "AW SHIT" credibility where you don't know what you did but he was really hard to beat. On Fire Pro World I really hate how you have to fuck around manually placing any downloaded wrestlers. Also seems like most shit nowadays requires you to have a bunch of mods first. I don't want to fuck around with it even if it's easy. Just don't care. FP2 on GBA is still the greatest one they did.

Don Frye's 3rd best film.

Okay, this njpwworld billing on the first of the month shit has me scowling at my email in the dark. I had been thoroughly enjoying it since 8/17 but now I feel like this is some gotcha, porno website bullshit. I was planning on keeping the service but now I just feel bitchy and mean-spirited about 8 bucks even though I used to blow 20-30 on old time DVD bootleg sites like puroresudvds and IVP 19 years ago. I don't give a goddamn if there are 30 reddit threads about this explaining to only sign up on the 1st. I just wanted to listen to my radio, get lit to the bone and reconnect with puro. I ain't Silas Stingy but iffin I didn't clutch my coinpurse. Night Flight streaming was also fucky 5 years ago and I'm still holding a grudge. Same deal where service stops immediately at cancellation. Now I'll get back to scrutinizing a portion of Kengo Kimura's œuvre. I've also been loving double arm and side suplexes and every time Riki Choshu does a bodyslam. I also love that video what just came out on youtube compiling Tenryu kicking dudes in the head. Sakuraba in Noah is the drizzlin's. Fujiwara looked better a couple months ago. Fujiwara also didn't wear a t-shirt in the pool. Funaki has Eric Roberts hair. Obligatory "cop shit his pants" reference and we're done.

I have a new fetish.

I don't get how this 1 time payment is going to help all those bartenders and waiters that are fucking broke and pissed right now. They should just come out and do that Miracleman "Come summer, money won't exist... But then, it never did" thing.

At least they don't play the jingle in the store. That would be cruel.

Ha! Joke's on them. You have to be alive to pay a fine.

Dudes on second shift start doin' a bogus "oh I don't feel good" thing thinking they'd get free money and now they're stuck at home until they get tested. Since they were bullshitting they probably can't get tested. Supervisors are looking bedraggled and get hinky if you ask about if people are sick why are we still in this building. I'm still going to have to work on monday. best case scenario is I can beat new doom and die in my sleep at 4:59 am monday morning.

First of all, are those Preacher and American Gods shows any good? Is it just retelling the books? I've just never heard anything about either of them positive or negative. Second, there's a fucking Bloodshot movie? What the fuck. I even liked both the old and new Bloodshot series. Matter o' fact I love most of that old Valiant shit. Now more than then. Geomancer sucks tho'.

It has the best representation of tag team wrestling I've ever played. You can go over an hour and it doesn't require you to pinch th' tip. Use Joe Higuchi for an extra slow count.

That's pretty freaky Inoki. Isn't it cold out in space Inoki?

Doomsday Clock was so far up it's own ass and the art stunk.

Fuck yeah! Seaking!

Dio's opening scream on Mob Rules from Heaven & Hell at Radio City Music Hall.

Been loving this new 5.1 Dukes of Stratosphear blu ray!