SirSmUgly

Yes! I think I made that point in a post in that Nitro thread. Hilarious in that role, but has IASIP's writers giving him the material to perform (which he awesomely did, to his credit).

Yes, agreed that is RD's point, but I think he's wrong because Mil Muertes is that gimmick and it also works. It's not solely down to the appropriateness of the performer, IMO. It's down to the narrative style of the promotion.

In fact, heel Piper in 1999 was pretty much the same as babyface Piper had been and that whole deal didn't last long. Maybe he could have done a chaotic tweener deal like 1999 Savage, but I don't think he had it in him.

Interestingly, we found out via his WCW run that Roddy Piper was so interested in the art of drag as to be completely obsessed by it. That's...uh...something, I suppose.

Season 1, Show 15: “Eye For An Eye,” or Hato-Mil Boyfriend If we’re getting a bunch of the same type of high-flyer match on this show, then I hope this episode talks more than it wrestles. Save us, Mil Muertes! Recap: Big Ryck, Mil Muertes, Black Lotus, and Texano are all on the warpath. We go right to the ring with Mil Muertes, notably stalking out here alone. I initially think poor Chavo’s gonna get killed, but that’s not the match's story. The story is that Mil seems to be somewhat lost or weakened without Catrina at his side. Chavo is a tricky guy, attempting to use the ring and his own guile to avoid an ass kicking, and he’s able to send Mil to the floor or snack his neck over the ropes through strategy, his array of attacks can’t put away an advancing Muertes. In a nice spot, Chavo dropkicks Mil’s leg and then has a long struggle spot with Mil trying to drag him by his leg to the post, indicating how much otherworldly strength Mil has. Chavo tries to pull Mil up, but gets goozled and punched. Guerrero responds by yanking Mil’s tights, sending him to ringside. I dig Chavo pulling every old vet’s trick he’s ever learned to keep from getting slaughtered in this match. So, Catrina decides to make her appearance at ringside, which is when Mil, who doesn’t even see her, wakes up and counters Chavo. Vampiro has noted multiple times on color that Chavo has so far been able to hang with Mil and emphasizes how rare that is and how off Mil seems. However, this is where Mil’s physical vulnerability stops because Catrina (w/her mystical stone) has arrived. Chavo does manage to elbow his way out of a Flatliner attempt, but he rushes Mil and gets sent to the floor, and it is only at this point where Muertes spots Catrina and the mystical stone of power that she wields. I’m going to stop here and go on a small sidebar that I think explains what I love about both this match and what I find the most appealing about Lucha Underground. When I was a kid and the Undertaker debuted in the WWF, he was a babyface in my house because he was so dominating and mysterious. As goofy as it was, what with Paul Bearer wielding an urn that had some sort of mystical power attached to it which made the Undertaker nigh invulnerable when the urn was nearby (and weakened and able to be beaten when it was stolen or lost), I was incredibly into it,as were many of us young WWF watchers. I recall that R.D. Reynolds is a guy who says that the Undertaker gimmick should never have worked. He is obviously wrong here (as he is in most things about pro wrestling) because if you have the proper setting for this sort of gimmick, it’s actually an easy one to get over because of all the intrigue and mystery behind the character and because fans typically love a spectral mindless asskicker gimmick. The most instructive bit of proof that Reynolds is wrong about the Undertaker gimmick being some uniquely successful gimmick is this Mil Muertes and Catrina gimmick, which basically trades a funny, high-pitched manager for a sultry, extremely physically attractive one and a mysterious urn for a mysterious stone. This sort of gimmick is money even though it can only thrive under specific conditions – say the equivalent of a Saturday morning cartoon as early ‘90s WWF was, or the equivalent of Dark Shadows (but more sinister than the original show) as LU is. Anyway, Mil's attention is drawn by the power of the stone, so he doesn’t see Chavo retrieve a chair and whack him with it, but the stone has given Mil the power to ignore the impact. He knocks the chair away, clobbers Chavo, and drops Chavo with a Flatliner onto the chair. Mil turns to Catrina and demands that she give Chavo a lick of death. She doesn’t like taking orders, so Mil grabs her by her head and tries to force her to give Chavo the lick. Catrina breaks away and glares at him defiantly, so Mil goozles her and puts her into Flatliner position…which is when Rey Fenix rushes out to make the save and helps Catrina make her escape. That’s how they drew this guy in, huh? That is some elaborate heel planning, teasing a whole violent breakup to finally spur good guy Fenix into further action against Mil. It’s almost needless to say that I loved this. I am here for the fucked up dark soap opera first and the wrestling second, and preferably the wrestling that I see is tied directly into advancing or building the fucked up dark soap opera. Speaking of fucked up dark soap opera, Catrina raises the stone, then sticks her tongue down Fenix’s throat while keeping one eye squarely focused on a heated Mil in the ring. I mean, as far as elaborate heel ruses to sucker a babyface in go, this was top-level. This was Ric Flair engineering a whole feud with Arn Anderson so that he could ruin Sting’s life (again) in 1995. Seedy backstage interstitial: I feel like Dave Batista because all I could think is GIMME WHAT I WANT as we happily get more plot, with Black Lotus trying to pick the lock of a door. She gains admittance and…oh shit, she starts walking down stairs that look like they might lead to holding cells. GIMME WHAT I WANT Seedy backstage interstitial: We get a shot of Dario Cueto, with the large key he's wearing that holds Matanza Cueto in his cell getting a close up shot all its own. Dario is talking to, as we find out when the camera pulls back, his flunkies. They now have a name based on their shirts: The Crew. I’ll call ‘em Dario’s Crew since they actually do win matches now. Dario lauds them for their recent victories and offers them a main event match as a reward. However, he notes that to stay in the main event, they need to prove that they can consistently put people out like they did Big Ryck. Dario wants the Temple’s fan favorite underdogs destroyed next: Sexy Star, Mascarita Sagrada, and Pimpinella Escarlata. “Your only job,” Dario snarls, “[is to] hurt them so bad that they never come back.” What a dick! An impatient-looking Ivelisse is in the ring, standing next to her hapless boyfriend Son of Havoc. Ivelisse takes a mic and basically tells Havoc that he sucks so bad that even though he was supposed to rematch with Angelico this week, she’s going to step in and take care of Angelico for his sorry ass. Vampiro wonders if Havoc knows that his girlfriend is “a bitch.” Uh, Ivelisse calls herself “the baddest bitch in the Temple” every time she speaks, so I think he’s aware since she uses that label for herself. Angelico, meanwhile, doesn’t want to fight a girl, but he’s a babyface, so it’s noble unlike when Son of Havoc didn’t want to fight Sexy Star, when it was sexist. Then again, Striker is right to call Angelico’s dodging and unserious counters “smarmy arrogance.” This is the Temple; homie had better start fighting. Finally, Angelico presses Ivelisse way into the air as she builds on a few kicks, which draws Havoc onto the apron. Havoc kicks Angelica in the head. Angelico stumbles backward and trips over Ivelisse, who immediately rolls the guy up for three. Of course. Ivelisse thinks she somehow won this with no help, but then again, Havoc couldn’t win with her help, so I suppose she has a right to celebrate. Angelico grabs a mic after the match and offers a double entendre masquerading as a challenge: “Ivelisse, if you ever wanna go one-on-one with me without your boyfriend around, it’d be my pleasure.” Then he shoves Havoc to the floor. This was a silly angle-building match, but it was supposed to be silly, and it did its job well. I found that Havoc came off kind of like a quasi-babyface, supporting his unappreciative lady and helping her beat this cocky Boer dipshit. Texano enters the ring to get a victory over Super Fly and establish his LU bonafides. But before then, aw yeah, it’s time for… Adventures in Interviewing with Vampiro: Vampiro bigs Texano up, but when he calls Texano EX-champion, that sets Texano off. We see some video of Texano rolling dudes in AAA matches as well as shots of Alberto El Patrón finally defeating him for the AAA Mega Championship. Vampiro is bilingual in the language of talking shit: “You heard it here. Big talk. Let’s see if you can deliver.” Texano doesn’t shake Vampiro’s hand after that comment. Interviewer Vampiro is genuinely entertaining to me. Commentary Vampiro? Much more hit and miss. Back to the ring, and lets just say that I don’t like the opening exchange and standoff. You know why at this point. Texano looks like a fairly built dude and I’m hoping for more power stuff from him, but mostly he works a bland squash match, landing an okay leg lariat and an overelaborated neckbreaker combo for the finish. Alberto comes to the ring and hooks it up with Texano, who initially uses trickery to get an advantage before reversing a whip into the guardrail and then using a whip of another type – Texano’s own bullwhip – to gain a measure of revenge for Texano’s whipping him the previous week. Security finally backs Alberto off, which is weird; wouldn’t Dario want more violence, not less? Why would he send security out here? I suppose he must not like Alberto very much and would prefer the violence to be committed by his favored fellow heels. Seedy backstage interstitial: Brian Cage bursts into Dario Cueto’s office while Dario jots down maybe instructions or a schedule based on his big desk calendar. I pause the video to see if there are any clues, but I’m not sure if this means anything. He’s written Tactus Dhurm (?) on the pad, followed by a series of times and days and a full name, first name being Adam and last name being illegible to me. We’ll see if any of this means anything later; I assume it might be simply because they went out of their way to have a shot of his actual notebook here. Anyway, Cage wants to be declared LU Champion since he’s got the gold and has put Puma out of the Temple and defeated Mundo. Dario correctly points out that Cage lost his title match against Puma by DQ, but offers Cage a non-title match against Puma next week. If he wins that, Dario says, he can have a proper title match against Puma once more. Cage agrees, but tosses the, in his words, “Aztec piece of crap” belt that he tore apart at Dario and demands a “real” belt once he beats Puma for the title. I feel like Cage added an unspoken “American” after the word “real” in that request. Cage is so unlikeable that he’s made Dario the relative babyface in their relationship. Cage leaves without shutting Dario’s office door – see, I told you, the guy is maybe the worst heel on this roster – which means that Chavo Guerrero Jr. can storm right in and quit Lucha Underground. I think in kayfabe, Dario is upset that Cage is outheeling him. No one will be a bigger heel than he is in his own Temple, dammit! Dario reasserts his top heel nature by accepting Chavo’s resignation with these words: “Well Chavo, I wish you the best in your future endeavors.” Chavo reacts accordingly. By the way, if you’re going to slyly mention the WWE, doing it like this with a wink and a nod is much preferred. Chavo storms out as Dario lets him know that he’s always welcome back. If this is it for Chavo in LU, I’ll miss the guy working matches, honestly. He still had it at this point in his career. Top fifty worker IMO, top seventy-five at worst. Dario finally is able to return his attention to the torn LU Championship that Cage tossed at him; he mutters, “The gods are not going to be happy about this.” I would love to see the Aztec Gods wreak their vengeance on that doofus Cage. More seedy backstage interstitial: Black Lotus has discovered the cell in which Matanza Cueto is held. Lotus is pleased with her sneaking, her sleuthing, and her success in locating her target. She triumphantly addresses Matanza like so: “When I was a little girl, the only thing I wanted to be when I grew up was to be the woman who killed you with her bare hands.” Damn, that’s a cold line! These storylines are all great, especially as we dig deeper into the mystical weirdness underlying what seems like a typical underground pro wrestling company. The main event pits Dario’s Crew against Sexy Star, Mascarita Sagrada, and Pimpinella Escarlata. Dario’s heelishness extending to women, dwarves, and men who don’t fit his idea of masculinity is about right. He’s still the biggest heel in the company no matter how racist and xenophobic Brian Cage is toward him. Pimpi smooches Cortez, but Pimpi is maybe unaware of the sort of match he’s in and is immediately brutally caned and choked out by Cortez in response. This is a no DQ tornado tag, by the way, and the babyfaces getting murked has sort of bummed out this crowd, but it’s made me want to see Big Ryck walk out here and help them kill these guys. Meanwhile, Mascarita Sagrada is an insane athlete for a guy in his forties (I think) at the time. Pimpi is helped to the back by a couple of medics, so Star and Sagrada are left at a one-person disadvantage. The Crew sets up Sagrada for a curb stomp onto a chair. The chair definitely makes it look (and sound) better, but Bael’s curb stomp is definitely still pretty shitty-looking. Anyway, Star is left all alone so that, *sigh*, we can get the Crew stalking her, which is not why I’m sighing. Yo, shut the fuck up, Matt Striker: “What’s Mr. Cisco doing? He’s checking Sexy out. And they call me misogynistic and sexist, come on now.” Who is this “they” and what exactly did you do or say to get called these things, Striker? I don’t have this problem and can’t relate. He earlier offhandedly said that he wasn’t going to go on about this “women’s empowerment thing” that LU is doing while Ivelisse was wrestling, which I let pass, but to be real, this man is a menace on the mic. And not in a good way. What if Striker just said a bit less than he usually does? He’d be passable if he were capable of that, but then again, he’d also probably still be announcing for WWE if he were capable of that. Meanwhile, Star does a pretty good job of fighting everyone off and even scores a struggle top-rope rana for 2.9 in a nice hope spot. Alas, the Crew reconvenes and then stomps her out. That is point at which Big Ryck (w/eye patch) walks to the ring to confront his former flunkies. The distraction allows Star to sneak a rollup on Cortez for three; Dario’s Crew scatters rather than enter a physical confrontation with Ryck. LU is better when it talks. LU is better when it talks. LU is better when it talks. LU is better…4 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Yeah, I don't think that's political. It's just factual. I honestly had mindwiped Alberto's existence from my mind until I saw him here and remembered that vague stuff. Then I went to his Wikipedia page. Yeesh.

I unironically love this idea.

Sounds a lot like Hacksaw Duggan in WCW. (For the most part; his lack of effort made the times when he tried, like when he got mauled by heel Goldberg, all the more striking.)

Season 1, Show 14: “Open Mic Night,” or Caution: Patrónman Recap: Dario’s machinations become ever more desperate. Mil Muertes has a little something for Chavo Jr., but he (and Catrina) currently distracted by Rey Fenix. Johnny Mundo is King Cuerno’s next target. And of course, Alberto El Patrón has made his arrival. We pick up with Alberto coming back to Dario’s office for another meeting this week. Dario likes Alberto’s style; Alberto likes that big key Dario has and wonders what it might unlock, though Dario pretends that he didn’t even hear that last part. Alberto has a request for Dario, which is the purpose of this meeting. Dario is initially reluctant to grant requests when they don’t lead directly to violence, but Alberto promises to unleash violence in general and when making requests in the future, and Dario acquiesces…though we don’t actually get to hear what Alberto wants from him. Yet. Striker and Vampiro hype El Patrón getting an open mic and act like Alberto’s going to be all controversial and shit. Let me guess: He talks about being held back by politics in WWE? I hope I’m wrong about that. It’s técnico vs. técnico in tonight’s opener as Fenix wrestles Argenes. I’m not interested in the match, so let’s just get to the post-match fuckery that I’m interested in. Argenes does kick Fenix low on a Fenix leapover attempt, which is a pretty neat spot, actually. Then the camera catches Fenix completely whiff on a leaping kick that is supposed to hit Argenes in the head and knock him to the floor, and of course Argenes sells it because he has to, and Fenix is one of my least favorite workers in the modern era, I think. Then again, I don’t watch a lot of modern wrestling; I’m sure I’d see a ton of workers who I like even less if I did. But you don’t want to once again read my crabby Cranky Kong-ass routine where I talk about how wrestling was better in the old days and these young whippersnappers blah blah blah, so I’ll just report that I didn’t like this match and that the interesting thing about it was Catrina walking to ringside. Catrina almost distracts Fenix enough that Argenis gets the win with a top rope rana and standing moonsault combination. Vampiro, speaking about Catrina in a lascivious voice: “I wish I could tell you how I really felt.” No, I think we get it, buddy. Some things are better kept to yourself. You don’t have to express everything that pops into your head. Either the big one or the little one. After some more nonstop non-psychology [™Bret Hart, and yes, I am aware that I just don’t get the psychology and that it’s objectively a deficit in me and not the match], Fenix flips out of a Tombstone and hits a Rikishi Driver for three. Catrina gets in the ring and gives Argenis a lick of death as Fenix backs away. I thought you wanted to keep this whole thing on the down low, Catrina? Seriously, though, I’m pleased that Fenix isn’t a dumb babyface and clearly understands that the sudden interest from Catrina is an obvious scheme to get back at him somehow for beating Mil Muertes. Seedy backstage interstitial: Mil Muertes speaks! While choking Catrina! And she likes it! Man, this segment probably gave a few teenage viewers the wrong idea about sex and relationships. Anyway, Catrina warns Mil that he can’t handle the power of a thousand lives that are coursing through his veins and giving him, I presume, something like functional immortality (or at least the combined lifespan of a thousand people, which would be roughly seventy-five thousand years). She begins to tell him what he needs to do, which is when Mil goozles her and lifts her up, yells I NEED NOTHING in her face with spit flying everywhere (ew!), and then walks away while Catrina is (I think) pleased to see her plan, whatever it is, working. And also looking like she needs a cigarette after that whole exchange, which is disturbing. As Muertes stalks away, he stalks right past Chavo Jr.; both men square up with one another for a second. Chavo starts to walk away, but Muertes goozles him, slams him against the wall, and tells him that next week’s the week that he pays a debt for taking the glory of destroying Blue Demon Jr. from him (Season One, Episode Two). Glad to see that this company pays off everything it introduces. Even if all the payoffs for Chavo Jr.’s storylines are weak beer. Seedy backstage interstitial: Or rather it’s a seedy Catholic church interstitial, as Big Ryck sits in the shadows of a confessional booth and gets assigned penance for the sort of violence that he’s about to commit upon the bodies of his former flunkies Cortez, Mr. Cisco, and Bael. Actually, no, the priest doesn’t even make him do one Hail Mary and instead is just like, Alright, bud, go in peace and then Big Ryck leans into the light and is wearing an eyepatch and it’s a little silly, but that’s okay because this is pro wrestling and things should be a little silly sometimes. Son of Havoc and Ivelisse Velez hit the ring. Havoc grabs a mic and is pleased that he’s finally getting some legit competition tonight, since I suppose that minis and dudes in boas aren’t real competition. I mean, Hulk Hogan wore a boa. Jesse Ventura wore a boa. I digress. Havoc dedicates his upcoming victory to Ivelisse, which somehow I don’t think he’s going to earn tonight. In fact, here comes Johnny Mundo, walking out here with no visible leg damage, and I think that they should have held him from this show and instead had Prince Puma return here after two weeks off from his injuries to angrily destroy Havoc rather than Mundo showing up just a week later. Let both of these guys each have a show off to sell their injuries from Cage (and from King Cuerno as well in Mundo’s case). As for the match, IMO, it should only last a minute or two. Striker goes on about Mundo’s movement being compromised while Mundo runs around without selling any lasting leg damage. Then, he yells SWEEP THE LEG, JOHNNY when Mundo completes a leg sweep. Well, we made it this far into the show before Striker sounded like a complete jackass, and that’s sort of a win. This match is all wrong for a guy who was supposedly destroyed last week. Again, Puma running through Havoc like this would be fine. Ivelisse does help Havoc get control by pulling him out of a Mundo powerslam attempt, and Havoc does a strongman elbowdrop spot where he does a plank while holding the post that is a neat spot in isolation. I’m sort of impressed at the creativity of a pro wrestling strongman spot that’s focused on something other than lifting a wrestler or a heavy item, actually. The more I think about that spot, I’m enamored with it. Mundo finally starts selling the leg a bit, especially after Ivelisse trips him during his springboard to kill one of his comeback attempts. Mundo eventually makes his comeback, forgets that his leg is hurt, throws a bunch of mediocre soupbones, and does a few contrived sequences with the equally acrobatic and contrived Havoc before whiffing on an End of the World, landing feet-first on that “injured” knee, and not registering that it hurt him one bit. Havoc lands a springboard double stomp/standing moonsault combo for 2.8. I hate this match. What it’s turned into is Havoc’s story in which he comes close, but can’t win, which would work if Mundo was selling leg damage and being vulnerable with any consistency so that we can get a better sense of Havoc’s growing loveable loser gimmick or that Havoc is heelishly profligate in taking his chances. Otherwise, Mundo should have matched the anger that he showed on his way to the ring with his actions in the ring and blown the initially boastful Havoc away, which would have deeply embarrassed Ivelisse and moved their split along in a logical way. Instead, these two are having a “good match” in the context of Lucha Underground's house style and not accomplishing anything that makes any logical fucking sense while they do it. Havoc takes a long time to drop a top-rope move even though Ivelisse is begging him to leap, eats knees from Mundo, and then is food for an End of the World. Fuck this match. The only good thing about it is that Cuerno sneak attacks Mundo after the match. I suppose he is astonished that his concerted leg attack that was sold as death last week actually wasn’t very effective. Mundo tries to fight back, but gets dropped with a Thrill of the Hunt. Cuerno working every advantage he can get is one of my favorite things about this show. This guy absolutely rules. It’s also nice that whenever he’s on screen, whatever he’s doing actually makes sense, unlike what I saw in the match right before he ran in. This mariachi band is one of my favorite little things about this show. I appreciate the semi-extended performance we get here. Matt Striker bops to the music. It's distressing. Ricky Mandel is in the ring. Vampiro gets him mixed up with Ricky Martel in a bad two-man joke routine between he and Striker. Commentary vacillates between surprisingly fun and awful from night to night; you never can be sure what you’re going to get on any given episode. Tonight, they’re solidly awful. Anyway, Mandel gets destroyed by Pentagón Jr. Penta rolls this dude, hits two of his three moves of awesomeness, and we’re out. I could watch this every week and hope that if we’re getting a slow burn on the reveal of Penta’s new mentor, Penta keeps doing squashes every week. I suppose that I should note that this squash was worse that last week’s; there’s a weak counter-dropkick spot in there on a Mandel moonsault attempt, for one example, and the squash was probably a touch longer than it needed to be, for another. Still, I enjoyed it the most out of any in-ring thing on this show…especially the arm breaker. I do get a kick out of the Temple crowd going full Philly ECW fans by chanting CERO MIEDO after the armbreaker. Penta gets a mic and tells his mentor-slash-master that he has given them another broken arm as an offering. Then, he bows to said master. This whole Penta storyline is great, IMO. Matt Striker goes full-on "yelling and overhyping WWE commentator" to hype Alberto El Patrón coming to the ring and talking. Alberto is crazy over; he’s got the AAA Mega Championship title with him, which I vaguely recall he held and then vacated when he went back to the Dub at one point. This is the point in Alberto’s life when he goes full unadulterated public shitbag, isn’t it? Ah, whatever, it’s pro wrestling. It, like most institutions in life, is full of unadulterated shitbags, many of them publicly so. Alberto is out here bowing to the crowd and acting like a fun-loving babyface while the Temple deliriously chants for him. As Alberto calls the crowd his “friends,” I wonder if he's going to suddenly turn on them halfway through this interview [Editor's note: Nope!]. Though I appreciate that he’s a hard worker, I’m not a huge fan of Puma, and I quite enjoy Alberto’s in-ring work, but even so, I’m hoping that they don’t make the mistake of hotshotting the Lucha Underground Championship off Puma and onto Alberto. Anyway, Alberto does the whole “politics held me back” thing, which I am sad to be correct about, and this WWE-style yap-fest sucks, man. I don’t want this on my Lucha Underground. Bring back Penta and have him offer more sacrifices to his dark master. That’s what I want on Lucha Underground. Texano jumps Alberto from behind and whips him with a bullrope. That’s sudden. Maybe Texano should have debuted a week ago and won a squash against someone so that Striker doesn’t have to pull a Mike Tenay and basically pull a WE KNOW WHO THAT IS. Texano promises to take the AAA Mega Championship away from Alberto. This was a terrible fucking show in which the only things bolstering it were Penta committing violence as human sacrifice and the seedy backstage interstitials, especially the Catrina/Muertes/Chavo Jr. stuff. I remember LU becoming consistently good at some point and wonder if maybe it didn’t do that until the end of this season going into the second season. Oh well, at least in LU’s case, the bad shows are short (though this show felt like it took two-plus hours to end). 1 LU-CHA chant out of 5.

I do not! I vaguely remember some things, like Misterio Jr.'s short stay or Paul London doing an Alice in Wonderland gimmick, but not this. I'm actually pretty excited to find out based on your teasing of it, though. I felt like it took way too many episodes to explain the hitwoman's presence, but otherwise, I generally agree. As more people come to the Temple, Dario's original goal to fuck with Johnny Mundo and see a little violence gets more and more accidentally complex until he's just trying to survive the Temple's chaos.

Season 1, Show 13: “Johnny Mundo vs. The Machine,” or Bravely Moonsault I see Lucha Underground is delving into double meanings with this episode’s title. Recap: We see Johnny Mundo agitating Dario Cueto. We see the hitwoman agitating Dario Cueto. We see Brian Cage destroying Puma and Konnan. Hmmm, could maybe the third of these things help Dario solve the problems posed by the first and second of these things? There’s a pretty dope mariachi band in the Temple and playing us into the show and the first match: Son of Havoc (w/Ivelisse Velez) and…wait, hold on, Ivelisse is going to annoy me by yelling out another promo. She basically thinks Twitter is toxic (yes) and that the Twitterverse is wrong about Havoc sucking at pro wrestling (yeah, he’s actually a pretty good wrestler) because she’d never date a loser (inconclusive as I don’t know enough about her dating life to assess, nor do I want to). Let me guess: Havoc is imminently going to lose to Angelico, who turns out to be his opponent tonight. Striker suggests that Havoc may be trying to avoid being “the S.D. Jones” of the Temple, then mentions Colonel DeBeers, Shaun Simpson, and Steve Simpson as other prominent wrestlers from South Africa while talking up Angelico. I like that Striker mentions other wrestlers outside of the Temple for historical context and comparison, even if sometimes, he's a bit labored while doing so. Angelico attacks Havoc with a series of shots with his knees and feet. Ivelisse grabs his ankle as he loads up for another kick, which allows Havoc to breathe a bit and counter Angelico’s eventual charge with a sitout facebuster. I sort of enjoy Angelico’s leg-based offense. It stands out as different from what a lot of other wrestlers are doing, even though Puma and Mundo both love integrating kicks and knees and stomps into a lot of what he does, and seemingly everyone in the Temple throws a loud, knee slapping kick as part of their regular offense. Ivelisse continues to try and cheat for her man, but it’s not enough to stop Angelico from gaining control of the bout and catching some significant air on a dive. Back in the ring, Angelico lands a knee for two, then turns back a Havoc corner charge with a boot before running himself right into a counter-backbreaker for a two count. Havoc goes up top, but takes too much time and is caught by Angelico. They struggle over a top rope move; Havoc tosses Angelico to the mat face first, tries a Shooting Star Press but lands on his feet, and tries to attack again before being caught up top. Angelico tries a running sitout crucifix powerbomb called, apparently, Fall of the Angel, but I vote that we should just call that move a Razor’s Edge no matter who is doing it or what sort of variation it is. Anyway, Havoc leaps out of that and sends Angelico to the floor. Now, we need to pay off Ivelisse getting involved earlier, so there is a series of spots and counter-spots where Havoc and Angelico both go for kisses while Ivelisse is on the apron, and it ends in sadness for Ivelisse when Havoc rolls up Angelico, who kicks out, launches Havoc forward into Ivelisse’s gut with the momentum of said kickout, and then rolls Havoc up for three. That match was perfectly alright and moves along what I recall ended up being an Ivelisse/Havoc split. Ivelisse storms off when Havoc tries to comfort her, in fact. Seedy backstage interstitial: Dario talks to someone off-camera while at his desk. He mentions that this person hasn’t wrestled since Aztec Warfare and decides to try and make amends with this person who, as the camera eventually reveals, is Johnny Mundo. Mundo is a fucking dork. After Cueto books him against Brian Cage in the main event for tonight, here’s how Mundo responds: “You mean that hambone that tore apart your title belt? **puts on his sunglasses like he’s making a quip to introduce the latest episode of CSI: Miami** You better get a new one.” LU, I am asking you – no, I am pleading with you – please stop pushing Johnny Mundo as a centerpiece of these shows. Anyway, Dario's "kindness" in putting Mundo up against the best competition in the Temple as a make-good being an obvious way to try and get Cage to put Mundo out of wrestling and teach Mundo that lesson that Dario's been wanting to teach is a logical next step for the Dario/Mundo feud. Famous B. hits the ring to do a job to Pentagon Jr. Before that happens… Hype video: …Penta Jr. narrates his own hype video in which he states that only the best forms of fighting survive across generations, and he’s learned many of them (multiple martial arts and lucha style) to become a, um, mixed martial artist, basically. OK, now that I broke it down like that, it seems less special than the video made it seem. Back to the ring! Penta chops the shit out of Famous B. and then celebrates it, which is the best thing about every Penta match not counting the armbreakers that I hope he will start doing soon. B. lands a nice armdrag, but gets too excited about it and turns around from his own celebration and into a superkick and a package piledriver and then, yes! Penta locks on the armbreaker, gets a submission, and then snaps B.’s arm backward after the bell, breaking it. Penta manages to become more watchable by the week by doing literally only three cool moves (open-hand slap, package piledriver, armbreaker). After the match, Penta pledges loyalty to a mysterious master who clearly is more inspiring than Chavo Guerrero Jr. was! I dug the hell out of this squash, by the way. Seedy backstage interstitial: Dario Cueto sits outside of Matanza Cueto's prison cell and tells Matanza that the hitwoman, now officially named Black Lotus, came looking for him and for revenge for something that apparently happened between them when she (they?) were much younger. Black Lotus wants revenge of some sort, but Dario misdirected her because if he gave Lotus the key and allowed her to get to Matanza, he's pretty certain that Matanza would have mowed her down first and then the rest of the Temple second. I'm so glad we got traction on this storyline, and it's interesting traction to boot. Drago is in the ring to face off with Aerostar. I really like Drago, as you know if you’ve read this far, but I prefer him fighting from underneath against a bigger wrestler (or someone who is working bigger). What we get here is more of a flyer vs. flyer match, which typically doesn’t reach above average for me in this style. Mostly, yeah, these two trade some nice moves and dives that look great in isolation, but that don’t do much for me as part of a full match because there isn’t the connective tissue between them that I prefer. I have to note Vampiro on commentary responding to Matt Striker’s mention of Scott Steiner doing a version of a hurricanrana: “Yeah, when he was about a hundred pounds lighter and mobile.” Somewhere and at some time, Scotty heard about this comment and started frothing at the mouth that IT’S A FRANKENSTEINER, NOT A RANA, WHAT’RE YOU A MEXICAN OR SOMETHIN’ before hitting things with a lead pipe while in a rage. Both wrestlers in this match trade moves until the finish, when Drago hits a flipping neckbreaker that ends up more like a DDT for three. Man, I wish there were tighter and more creative transitions in these more aerial and quicker-paced matches. Drago helps Aerostar up after the match, and both men laud one another for their performances. Seedy backstage interstitial: Boy, am I glad to see more of these on the shows! Fenix goes at a bag with punches and kicks when Catrina sneaks up on him and sensually asks questions about the tattoo on Fenix’s chest before making her point, which is that she wants to bang it out, basically. He gets an actual kiss and not a lick, by the way, as Catrina suggests they keep this whole affair on the down low so that Mil Muertes doesn't destroy them both. I’d type “lucky Fenix,” but we can all see this set-up coming from a mile away, right? Even Fenix has a look on his face that says, Uh, this seems like a set-up, and I’m not sure that I’m interested in her. Johnny Mundo works tonight’s main event against Brian Cage (w/torn Lucha Underground title). Oh man, do I fucking hate Mundo’s offense. Why are you spinning so much that it makes the kick you finally throw after fluttering through the air look like shit? Can you not figure out some parkour-style offense that actually looks good? And no, slapping your thigh does not help the illusion. Cage catches this leaping dipshit and powerbombs him into the post, which is a move that actually looks like it hurts. Hey, in the distance, King Cuerno sits in what is basically like a deer blind except he's stalking and scouting wrestlers. This match would be better if Cuerno were one of the competitors. Push King Cuerno more, dammit! Cage tries a moonsault with extra gaga and jibber habber and misses, allowing Mundo to make a comeback. Mundo lands a running knee for two, then avoids a Cage slam by slipping out of the back and landing a Scorpion Death Drop for two more. Mundo tries to keep the pace up, but gets caught on a leapover in the corner and hit with an Alabama Slam for two. They work some more counter-counter-counter after that, culminating in Mundo scoring two after a springboard kick. Mundo’s kick-based offense looks even worse than usual considering we just saw Angelico’s much better kick-based offense earlier in this show. Striker lands another biblical reference (the book of Revelation) while calling Mundo’s End of the World attempt, but if he likes his deep cuts, he should have mentioned the book of Daniel instead. Anyway, Cage rolls out of the ring before Mundo can land, so Mundo leaps over the corner post and body presses Cage while Vampiro annoyingly yells THAT WAS AWESOME. The crowd annoyingly yelling that sort of thing is more than enough for my taste, Vampiro. Now that everyone is hurt, Cuerno decides to strike and attack Mundo, which draws a DQ. I am gonna be bummed if and when they put Mundo over Cuerno. Cuerno, ever the huge babyface, yells THE HUNT BEGINS AGAIN before destroying Mundo’s leg with a chair. Saving us from more bad Mundo kicks? Truly, Cuerno is LU’s Ricky Steamboat in his babyface-osity. Before Cage can lope off from the scene of all this carnage, Dario Cueto walks out of his office and stops him. Dario pretends that he’s doing Mundo a favor by not letting it end this way [™ Michael Cole] and re-starts the match. Yo, shut the fuck up, Matt Striker: Saying WHERE IS SARAH CONNOR in a bad Austrian accent is annoying; saying nothing as Cage stalked back to the ring would have been a better choice. Anyway, Cage targets Mundo’s busted leg, as one would logically do. Here’s a neat thing Cage does: He locks on a Stretch Muffler, which I think is a rad looking move. Unfortunately, it doesn’t end the match because Mundo grasps the bottom rope. Mundo manages a shitty comeback, landing a Moonlight Drive for 2.5 and trying another End of the World. Cage grabs his leg, yanks him down, and hoists him up for an F-5 that only gets two. Cage tries a move out of a Gory Special that Mundo rolls through for two, but Cage quickly gets to his feet, lands a lariat, and hits a facebuster out of a Gory Special that earns him a three count with a massive assist from King Cuerno. Fuck that, the Stretch Muffler should have ended it. Mundo could have passed out. Seedy backstage interstitial: Dario talks to a mysterious someone on the phone in his office, stressed about throwing Black Lotus off the trail, when a mysterious someone else insistently knocks on his door and then steps inside the office against Dario’s wishes. That person? Alberto El Patron, who isn’t the then-recent WWE departure that I was hoping for (where is Rey Misterio Jr., dammit?!). Whatever, Alberto is a solid worker and will be fine for the short time he spends in the Temple. I like that we’re picking up on the branching storylines and building out the Temple’s cast of characters. The Pentagon Jr. squash was the wrestling highlight of this show for me, but even the stuff I was less interested in from an in-ring standpoint like Drago/Aerostar or the main event ended up being decent. Mostly, I’m glad to see way more story stuff integrated into these shows and demand even more seedy backstage interstitials in the rest of the episodes this season! 3.5 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Yep, makes a ton of sense. I feel like AEW is a conventional wrestling show and pretty much in line with WWE or TNA, and that LU is strikingly different than any of those, but what comes through in your response here is that wrestling is simply well oversaturated for such a niche interest here in the States: WWE, NXT, Evolve, AEW, ROH (does it have it's own separate shows or is it fully integrated into AEW programming?), TNA, and NWA are all easily accessible on television or the internet or both, and it's easier than ever to watch wrestling from outside of the States besides. There simply isn't room for more wrestling, even if it's shot and presented in a drastically different way.

Season 1, Show 12: “They Call Him Cage,” or Heeeeeeeeeere’s Brian! After that great King Cuerno/Drago blowoff Last Luchador Standing Match on the previous episode, let’s get traction on these storylines that have been teased for a while, please! Recap: Big Ryck didn’t keep an eye out, got his flunkies hired out from underneath him by Dario Cueto; two weeks ago, Puma retained the LU Championship after a watchable-enough bout against Fenix, but was immediately attacked by Brian Cage after the bout. Cage, of course, wants his shot at the gold next. Seedy backstage interstitial: Cage pumps iron backstage; Dario Cueto walks up and congratulates Cage on taking it right to Puma (“tak[ing] the bull by the huevos”) and informs Cage that he’s got a title shot against Puma tonight. Cage is confident in his impending victory; Cueto's face expresses glee with the expectation that Puma will lose. Aw yeah, we get a Vampiro interview with Konnan and Puma teased for later! Before that, though, let’s start with a match. Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) walks to the ring for a match against Rey Fenix. Wow, that’s an interesting matchup for tonight’s opener. Muertes rushes Fenix at the bell, which seems like a mistake, and it is; Fenix scores a couple of quick roll-ups for two. Then, Fenix makes the mistake of throwing ineffectual chops and even an ineffectual running kick at Muertes. I don’t know, man, strikes might not work. Fenix tries another running strike and eats a straight right to the temple. Yeah, that spot was great. Fenix wobbles to his feet and tries to run again, so Muertes hits a release overhead suplex that crashes Fenix into the buckles, then drills Fenix with a DDT for two. OK, this is Fenix’s best work because he has to survive against a power dude who catches all his dumbass flips and launches him. Speaking of, Fenix tries a backflip move and back suplexes him for two. Fenix tries to swing through the ropes, gets his legs caught, is tossed to the mat, and then is mowed down with a spear that only earns a two count for Muertes. The crowd has a dueling LET’S GO FENIX/FENIX SUCKS chant. Obviously, you know which side I’m coming down on. Meanwhile, Muertes presses Fenix from one corner to the other and covers for two. Stop playing with your food and guzzle it, Muertes! Wait, OK, I'm fine with you throwing a few more punches at Fenix’s dome. Mul then risks sitting Fenix up top for a superplex, but Fenix uses his legs to hook Muertes’s legs on impact and sneaks a quickie roll-up for three. I see what we’re doing; we’re setting up for a longer Fenix/Muertes feud here using the same formula as Drago/Cuerno. Muertes is just the right dance partner for Fenix, so I’m interested in it. Hype video: Brian Cage fights dudes in a parking lot while doing a voice over about not being immortal and therefore living life to his fullest. He should ask Mil Muertes about Muertes’s dark immortality magic, maybe. Or he could just live it up by fighting a bunch of weak mooks in a parking lot, including one who looks suspiciously like Billy Kidman’s nerdy son. I say that we should bring Hijo de Kidman to Lucha Underground now! Next up: A trios tag pitting Super Fly, Argenis, and Aerostar against Dario’s Flunkies (Cisco, Cortez, and Bael). Actually, he won last week, so I begrudgingly call him Mr. Cisco. For now. Though probably, he’s going to win this match as well, so he’s got at least a couple of weeks that I give him his honorific. Striker is quoting scripture to explain the flunkies' betrayal of Big Ryck like he’s Jules Winnfield stopping a robbery while a watchable, standard dive-filled trios match goes on. I actually think, as someone who drops the occasional literary reference into my wrestling writing without even thinking about it, I like the idea of what Striker is doing, but he really struggles with making it sound natural or integrating it into the discussion at hand. Oh yeah, this match. It’s fine. There is a babyface tower splash spot, trios running strikes to Aerostar in the corner, and a terrible curb stomp from Baez. That last move isn’t great, to be sure, but this match is perfectly acceptable televised wrestling worked at a solid pace; Aerostar plays FIP after that running strikes spot, but makes a hot tag to Argenis, who has a nice segment full of pacey offense before the heels cheat and eventually hit a team double stomp on him for 2.9. Argenis makes a tag back to Aerostar as the commentators point out that the heels have cheated liberally, but the babyfaces have mostly just let it happen while standing on the apron. Yeah, I expected lesser adherence to tag rules in a lucha trios match. There’s a unique spot where Aerostar hits a top rope rana that flips Bael onto everyone else grouped up to catch a dive at ringside. Aerostar then follows up with a dive onto all five other guys, still all grouped up to catch a dive. Nice spots in isolation, though of course they mean nothing because Bael hops right back in the ring to trade blows with Aerostar, the latter of whom eats a team Codebreaker for three. The rana spot was unique, but otherwise, I won’t remember anything about this decent enough match tomorrow. Adventures in Interviewing with Vampiro: Now, Vampiro has been hating on Konnan over on commentary since the start of LU as an entity, which makes a ton of sense if you know about their past IRL disagreements, and here, Vampiro pulls a 1993 Randy Savage on commentary as he continues to excoriate Konnan regarding how Puma’s manager acted during their interview: “It drove me insane. You coulda cut a knife with the intensity. I’m telling you, Konnan is not good!” If Randy Savage has at some point mixed up the words to the saying “could have cut the tension with a knife" in an interview or on commentary, I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m gonna be honest; I remember hating Vampiro’s commentary with a passion my first time around, but I’m actually enjoying his “color commentator Savage for a more mature audience” act so far (at least for the most part). And we haven’t even gotten to the interview! I love that Vampiro’s chyron introduces him as an “announcer/legend” underneath his name. Amazing. Anyway, what I love about this is that Puma’s a dude from Kentucky and they don’t want him to start yapping and thus reveal that, so Konnan stops him from talking reponds for him. Konnan being a glory hound is a funny and appropriate way to keep Puma from talking. Vampiro gets on his Mike Tenay and suggests that some nebulous people somewhere out there are saying that Cage hits too hard for Puma, so Konnan cuts in and responds by saying that he doesn’t care what people think, including punk-ass Vampiro, because we all know that Cage is a meathead dumbass who can’t think his way out of a paper bag, much less out of trouble in a wrestling match. That’s paraphrasing what Konnan said, of course. Vampiro is done with Konnan’s glory hounding and says so; Konnan declares the interview over and bodies up to Vampiro. Puma separates them as Vampiro warns Puma to “be careful.” That was pretty entertaining. I’m stunned to be typing this: More Vampiro interviews, please! Prince Puma (w/Konnan) defends his Lucha Underground Championship for the second time in the two weeks since he won it, this time against Brian Cage. I’m sort of surprised they’re going right into this match instead of teasing it out a couple more weeks at the very least. Cage saunters in and gets hit with a dive while he’s not expecting it. The early exchange here lays out the thesis statement for this match: Cage backs Puma into the corner, but Puma immediately lifts up to the second rope and hits a rana, then goes on the run and tries an aerial move that Cage stops by shoulderblocking him out of mid-air. Cage then slows the match down and takes over; he chokes Puma by using the ropes and jaws with Konnan at ringside while he does it. Vampiro is sorely aggrieved by Konnan exchanging words with Cage and giving Puma advice even though these are typical wrestling manager things to do, but he does at least argue that Puma just got “rocked” and is trying to get his bearings before taking any immediate advice. In fairness to Konnan, Puma manages a rollup for two right after that, but Cage clubs him down and then hits a sitout Alabama Slam to kill a Puma headscissors attempt. Cage tries to follow up with a power slam, but Puma DDTs his way out, then rushes Cage, hits a shoulder to the solar plexus and a kick, and then follows with a springboard elbow for two. Puma attempts a Northern Lights – mistake! – and is quickly counter double-underhooked and suplexed by Cage. Puma gets to the apron and is able to counter Cage’s intricate, rope-based offensive set-up with springboard double knees for two more. Puma keeps attempting power moves, which continues to be a mistake; Cage blocks Puma’s next suplex attempt just as he did the last, then tries to catch Puma up top for a superplex. Puma escapes and kicks Cage in the head, but when he leaps, Cage catches him in vertical suplex position and Jackhammers him for two. This match is perfectly fine for what it is, y’know? I’m not in love it, but it’s a solid bout. Cage just doesn’t connect with me and can’t string together interesting offense in a way that draws me in. He hits a moonsault for two, then halts a bunch of Puma kick attempts by yanking him in and hitting double powerbombs…or at least the first one, as Puma flips out of the second one and dropkicks Cage in the face. I guess that first powerbomb Cage hit was pretty weak, huh? Puma gets to his feet first and charges Cage, who avoids Puma’s attack and lands an F-5 for two more. There’s just a ton of counter wrestling in this bout that I don’t particularly enjoy, and I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe because the counters are a bit too choreographed? Maybe because some of the counters come at points where I think the wrestler shouldn’t be able to counter in kayfabe due to the immediate damage they’ve taken? I don’t know. Again, this match isn’t bad, but it leaves me cold, especially when Cage shoves the referee into the ropes to knock Puma from the top rope as Puma sets up for his 630 senton bomb, then punts Puma in the junk right in full view of the angered ref to secure a disqualification. I get it; Cage is a hothead lunk. On the other hand, I don’t really feel a need to see this match again down the road. Cage attacks Puma after the match; Konnan tries to intervene by hitting Cage with his cane. That doesn’t work! Cage kicks Konnan in the stomach, then lays him out with the LU title belt, which he rips a strap from before tossing it down and spitting on it. Meanwhile, Konnan bladed off the title shot, which actually looks pretty rad. All this to get fucking Brian Cage over! I did get a kick out of one fan audibly yelling at Cage WHY ARE YOU HITTING AN OLD MAN. Now, storyline-wise, I’m assuming that Cage probably ticked Dario off by destroying his beloved LU title belt, but no… Seedy backstage interstitial: …we cut to Dario peeking out of the blinds of his office and grinning as though he is the proverbial cat who has stolen the proverbial cream. That’s when the hitwoman speaks! She stealths into Dario’s office, accosts him, and demands information on a man she’s been hunting to collect a debt. Damn, calm down, Leopold Strauss. Anyway, the person this hitwoman is looking for is named Matanza. Dario bluffs that he knows no one by that name, and the hitwoman blends back into the darkness, leaving without further questions. For now. Since Dario definitely knows who Matanza is. And since Matanza’s in a cell somewhere nearby and all. Well, they did move the hitwoman angle along and even melded it with the “Dario’s key” angle. Dario had better hope that the hitwoman doesn’t ask Catrina if she knows anything about a Matanza, or Dario’ll be getting another surprise visit in his office. Let’s hope we get more storyline seeded into these shows because once again, this LU episode relied on wrestling, and once again, considering that Drago didn't wrestle Cuerno this week, it didn’t rise above “pleasant enough, but ultimately forgettable.” Though Fenix was involved in the best match on the show, which in my view is an amazing achievement on his part. 3 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Yes, the famed Kliq Action Zone Match that, for my money (and elsalvaje's, IIRC) is the best WWF/E tag match ever. Maybe it has competition from Shield/Wyatts Elimination Chamber if you add trios tags to the mix, but as a standard two-on-two, it's the best for my money.

Second best match with extended limb work in WWF/E history right there. What I also dig about it is that the first match they worked, which I just saw again on the New Generation channel, was built around brutal ladder spots, and for the second one, they went with trying to cripple limbs so that climbing the ladder would be impossible. Two totally different psychological approaches to ladder matches, both of them great.