Sex Machine Gun

I can't get back to the page and quote someone because I'm on a phone and when I read pages of threads they're lost forever unless it's one of the first pages or the very last page buuuuuut: God does that old Raw is War intro still rule. It isn't just nostalgia, it's the whole thing. They have that ramping up WWF Attitude bumbumbumbumbumbum bit with the flashes of sound. Thorn in Your Eye goes HARD with synchronized clips of dudes getting pasted with weapons. Then you get the We're All Together Now guitar loop while rockets come screaming in and exploding around the entrance with the camera set at the bottom of the line where the rockets fly down and make impact. The arena is sold OUT and probably did in like a couple of hours at most. Signs are EVERYWHERE and the crowd is batshit. JR comes in and tells us where we are and says the arena is sold out before some major heel or face's music hits and just about EVERYONE is over with the crowd. You were lucky if you got to experience that every single week. God, it was so hype. A perfect opening.

It held 'em! Heck, the last part of the match even gained a few viewers: Q1: MJF vs Ospreay: 871K, 364K. Q2: MJF vs Ospreay: 829k, 372k. Q3: MJF vs Ospreay: 834k, 369k. Q4: MJF vs Ospreay: 834k, 365k. Q5: MJF vs Ospreay conclusion, Team AEW backstage promo, TV Time with Suzuki appearance: 841k, 388k. Q6: Elite + Mercedes backstage promo, Mercedes vs Nyla: 769k, 341k. Q7: Mercedes vs Nyla cont, Jack Perry promo, Mariah live promo, BBG promo: 734k, 337k. Q8: Swerve vs Okada: 701k, 315k. Overrun: End of Swerve vs Okada, post match Brawl with Team AEW and the Elite: 685k, 305k. Wasn't exactly a free fall after that but they still lost 150k between the end of MJF/Ospreay and the overrun.

Tony going batshit on commentary and saying it was the best Dynamite match ever bugged me. It was really freaking good but nothing's beaten Bryan/Kenny yet. MJF made Ospreay slow down and sell and it was great. Nothing was too insane although the crowd brawling segments felt like padding. I'm also not a fan of crowd brawling unless it's been made clear that it's no DQ or some other stip so I didn't like those bits to begin with. Everything else was fantastic and it didn't really drag at all. Considering I expected them to find a way to not have the match at all or run an angle instead this was an incredible outcome. Mariah May does Toni Storm better than Toni Storm every time. The crowd pissed me off during her promo but they came around by the end, chanting for Toni. Mercedes/Nyla was good, really suffered from following an hour long epic and a forgone conclusion. Big pop for Britt showing up, bigger reaction than anything in the preceding match. That was a relief because Mercedes was getting solid CEO chants against Nyla. Maybe a bunch of people from Oklahoma crossed the border to see Dynamite. I didn't pay much attention to the main as I got distracted and expected a fuck finish anyway. Darby's arrival at the end of the night was awesome, biiiig pop. Dude's a star. I popped for Hangman showing up, like an "awwwwww shit!" pop. Not excited for Blood and Guts, never been a fan of these 5v5 gorefests. I don't know how I feel about The Acclaimed being in it. Everyone else is on the appropriate level but them. They also haven't really established any actual stakes in this. What does the winner get? Is the loser punished? Will DraftKings let me bet on TK showing up near the end of the match to tip the scales for Team AEW?

STRAP UP BRYAN HE'S GONNA WIN WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT

I really want Danielson to win but he treats winning consequential singles matches like T-bone steaks.

That Nitro-ass ending pissed me off. Might as well have had Cole yell "we're out of time!" SHOW ME MORE

Oh I know it'd be counterproductive and dumb, old teenage E-fed impulsive thinking just popped into my head.

Quit screwing around, have some balls and do something interesting: Finally turn Cena heel during his first match back. Have him say afterward that now he knows when he's done so now he doesn't have to kiss ass anymore, lean the fuck into it from there. "These are the kind of 'superstars' you expect to replace me??" he says while dragging the bloody husk of Sami Zayn behind him out into the arena, shit like that. He can still ride off into the sunset as a good guy after his last match somehow but come ON. (I know this will NOT happen under any circumstances but the idea popped into my head)

The key is making feuds that stand alone for personal reasons, not involving a belt. This has been slowly germinating for a little while now and will only improve once we get back a bunch of injuries.

https://rspw.org/ There's what's left of it. Looks like it's been about 15 years since any major activity. I got into the internet scene in like, 2000 (I was 16) so even that is now old enough to drink.

Oh... no. Combine this question with me wondering the other day "When did CRZ end?" and I am not just old now but now I'm IWC old.

Yeah, Daddy Magic's gonna be a smear on the canvas by the end of Saturday night, next Wednesday at latest. Maybe try and fluff him up and have a nice match with purpose on the undercard of Blood and Guts where he gets wrecked. Super hyped for MJF/Ospreay, the build more than the match. It's their current super duper #1 babyface against the best heel the company's ever had.

Now that was two hours of pro wrestling. Best Dynamite I can remember in a long time start-to-finish. If they can keep this up the rebound might be real and the doldrums are truly over.

I demand a Mark Briscoe old school rasslin' promo every show.

I stopped reading the WrestleCrap site when I was a teenager but the podcast was never missed. That was appointment listening and old episodes don't age because they'd never talk about any contemporary stuff anyway. That show was the first thing (as an adult) that made me laugh so hard I was about to piss myself. If you're wondering, it was the episode where Shane McMahon kept fighting everyone with the device alerting them looking like the SmackDown fist stage. Always marked out for Nintendo John, the Honky Tonk Mail Man, and of course ANGRY JIM ROSS.

I demand the Beef O' Brady's Ivy League.

The Army wrecked my filter for years afterward but it's back in more recent years. Still though, if I'm around friends or drunk or high all bets are off. The difference is I've tried to get more creative as I've gotten older.

(crowd applauds wildly, eight stars are given)

Wrestlers, managers, matches, whole shows, stick 'em here! I just gotta think about mine first even though it's pretty much limited to mainstream US promotions. I don't know dick about Puro and even less about the Mexican scene. European wrestling? Hah! What next, women voters? But there IS a difference. It's like knowing a movie is a masterpiece but going "fuck it, Billy Madison it is" and still having a blast. I'm not really a fan who needs everything to be the best thing ever, just make it entertaining.

(phone rings) "We just got rid of that tie choker, now what? Oh, something positive you say. A nostalgia return, brilliant! Wait, 'Chyna,' 'Chyna,' why is that familiar? ... WAIT NO NO NO I WON'T SAY WHY"

I finally realized the missing quality no one's listed about Jericho's shit last night. That wasn't Eugene delivery as I've seen some say here and there, it was Moppy-era Perry Saturn. Had a lot more charm and humor when it was nonsensical and NOT TALKING SO LOUDLY ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

I think the funniest Marty Janetty story (saying something there) was how he'd do a Gagne impression and substitute "fucking" for "wrestling."

I don't know dick about British wrestling but if there was never someone who always had a cricket bat on them then what were they even doing over there?

Well if he's diving into his music instead, I'm happy for him. May he keep his sobriety and have a good life.

If I'm simply underwhelmed can I just have a nice, well-trimmed beard?