caley

Lin-Manuel Miranda (sp.?) dressing up as Dirty Dom is not something I had in my 2024 bingo card.

Man Adam Cole's tan... He looked like he was sick. My niece had jaundice at birth, he looked like she did (She's fine btw). It was weeeeeeeeird. It didn't look like he had overtanned (Like Triple H a few years back!) and it wasn't like a Trump tan. It was a weird off-yellow color. It was genuinely distracting from what was, in fact, a very poor match. I got distracted after that, should I watch anymore?

There is so much STUFF on these shows that I get confused reading these recaps and wonder if I missed something (Rick and Tank are buddies now?!). It made me wonder if I kept them straight back when I was watching and then I remembered when we saw Nitro here and Russo talked about "Your hero Goldberg" and my friend looked at me and went "Wait are we supposed to like him again?!" and, me, who was like my friends' wrestling encyclopedia (There is even a photo in my high school yearbook of me kissing the PWI Almanac!) shrugged my shoulders and said "Uh...I guess?!" As a guy who fashioned himself as some sort of writer for a while, I think that's where these shows hurt the most: they're so badly written. Stories start and stop with no resolution. Character motivations are often nonsensical (especially with Russo's SWERVES). I can tolerate mediocre matches or acting if it's in service of a solid storyline but all three at once!?

I used to rent that video more than any other wrestling show, even though the matches were all dreadful. I don't know how many times my poor GI Joe fed had resets or injuries just so I could run title tournaments!

Shelton-Sammy was all right. Fletcher's promo was all right! Cage-Archer squash was all right, who were their opponents? I never heard them intro'ed and couldn't hear the commentators discuss them much. Was it the guys who were a part of Swerve's army that got the big heel turn on Swerve, followed by getting crushed by a solo Swerve? If it was them, are they done with AEW? Because I'd say that looked like "You've got one more match on your contract" kind of match. Kamille-Aminata looked somewhat like a high school drama class fight scene. I read ahead to see what else was on the show and tapped out in advance.

When my brother worked at Value Village, he found and bought himself a DDP shirt that had such a lousy font on the back that an old lady stopped him one time and said "Excuse me young man, what is Dop?" I feel like everyone would have questions about a shirt that says "HUGH!" on the back, but also that would require someone to actually buy a Hugh Morrus shirt. So, just to get this straight, Russo makes fun of Colorado Springs in the opening promo, but still names a match after it? "I hate this place, bro, New Yawk is so much better..let's book a Colorado Collision match, though!" --- Have they suspended the DQs/countouts yet? I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember them mentioning it at some point early in the Bischoff/Russo era, to make things more "extreme"! But then they run into the the problem with submissions, if there are no rules couldn't a wrestler just keep his opponent in a submission hold whether he gets the ropes or not?! I actually did a double-take when I read about Kidman coming down for the US title match and getting pinned. I thought "No they're building Kidman up for Hogan, they wouldn't use him as fodder a segment or two later for Scott Steiner. Oh no I did read that right."

Those ECW matches where he and Tanaka try to cave in each other's skulls with unprotected chairshots are a real hard watch now.

Man I knew the two of them were close...but... Man I was such a big Mike Awesome fan and they JAG him faster than you can believe. It was clearly a "He's a big star in ECW it'll work." without actually watching him in ECW and noting that Paul E. matched him up with guys that were smaller than him to !ale him bigger, that Paul E. had someone talk for him but also that the bulk of his offence would be unusable in WCW (iirc the one time he does his Awesome Bomb over the ropes through a table he gives Vampiro a concussion!). Also feuding him with Nash makes him look small from the get-go!

One year, my sister's boyfriend/future husband's family and her best friend's family were both out of town, so my mom invited them all to Thanksgiving dinner and I said "What is this the Dead End Kids Thanksgiving?" in mock anger and it made my mom laugh really hard, despite me having no idea who the Dead End Kids even were. Last year I tried to watch a movie with the Dead End Kids and it was dreadful, I think I made it 20 minutes before tapping out. Considering the last Dead End Kids show seemed to be in 1945...Heenan's reference is only about 55 years out of date at this point. It's still kinda funny, though. I mean, no one cared at this point, but it would have been really funny if Duggan showed up to Thunder and someone said to him "You know the Powers that Be left months ago, you don't have to be the janitor anymore...well at least for two weeks...cuz Russo is coming back." I don't remember how long Duggan stays around but there's a surprisingly fun little angle with him coming up at one point (No, not Team Canada). God I HATED all talk about characters and scripts and creative. Still do. There is WAY too much "Is this going off script?" stuff anytime Russo is involved. Imagine if one night on Game of Thrones, they asked Sean Bean (I didn't watch the show and he's the only name I know off the top of my head!) about the new show-runners and he spoke to the camera "Well, the new guys really like characters so that'll be good for me!" I, uh, don't think your age is the defining trait here if you look at the guys Bischoff pushes, Hacksaw. So i was trying to figure out how much Harrises you have left (Falsely remembering them not being around during the Bischoff/Russo era, but Wikipedia says they stick around to the end of WCW!) but then I found these two AMAZING nuggets: "In 2002, the brothers appeared on a TNA PPV wearing shirts with the Nazi SS symbol.[16] They also displayed their SS tattoos (which were later covered up).[17] TNA apologized for the incident after the PPV.[18] In 2018, the CEO of Aroluxe denied the brothers had Nazi ties, claiming the shirts were worn because they were in character as bikers.[16]" OHHHHH they wore the shirts because they were in character as bikers...they're so committed to their character work that they even got SS tattoos! I've had them all wrong all these years! AND "In the same year, Ron Harris retired from professional wrestling and began working for the Christian music record label Beach Street Records." Hmm, Ron Harris...Christian Music guru. There's a joke in there, somewhere, but I'm staying away from it.

Same! I do not recall the second part nor do I want to Google it

THIS is the Simpsons reference that cracked me up. Or maybe just a Simpsons coincidence... But I remember watching it with my brother and saying they should drive him to the country like the Be-Sharps getting rid of Chief Wiggum, and then he even did the howl! I mean, upon rewatching it, it's hard not to see the sadness in The Dog's eyes as he pretends to drink out of the toilet in a "Is screentime really worth THIS?!" kind of way. But, actual reference to Simpsons or not, it still makes me chuckle. So Lenny and Lodi became homosexuals, who became brothers, who became Standards and Practices (Is this where Lodi became Idol), who became To Excess (Too Excess?), Idol went back to Lodi, and then they became Excess. Too bad they never became good...hahahah This reads like someone running a wrestling...skit (?) through an AI program with the keyword "Italian" and the program went "Italians? Pizza! And bragging about dates!" Truthfully...that's PRETTY accurate. Man...someone backstage REALLY hated Buff

The most memorable thing about them might be Norm McDonald's joke: "Number 1 in the college charts this week, Better Than Ezra. And at number 2? Ezra."

I think this could be a big part of it but I also think she works better from underneath as a face because her offence is flashy and she's, quite frankly, tiny. The problem is her character (I'm the bossss...I'm the besssst....I'm doing that goofy dance!) mainly works better as a face. Plus she stumbled into that awkward AEW fan reaction ("OMG a new wrestler! They're no longer gonna be held back! Well, wait I don't want them going over him/her! Boo! Go back to WWE") much like Saraya, Toni Storm, Ruby etc. that necessitated the abrupt heel turn (I still don't buy that she was brought in to be a heel all along, I think the heel turn was an absolute pivot based off the fans not wanting her to beat Willow). I think she'd work better from underneath against Statlander (Although she seems to be an abrupt face again now too), or fighting off Saraya and crew, providing back-up for Willow moreso than needing her own heater.

Darby attacking King with a rock was so odd. I especially liked Excalibur: Is that a rock in his hand? Tony: No! it's...it...it is (30 seconds later) Tony: He had that rock in a recent interview that we saw... So Tony completely refutes it being a rock in Darbys hands but half a minute later can totally remember that Darby used a rock in a recent promo. It's the worst kind of modrrn wrestling commentary where you can tell theyre being fed lines by someone. Speaking of bad commentary, Mariah should maybe not do anymore. Scooby Doo references? Now on to good commentary, I was very much dreading Jarrett replacing Taz but he was excellent. Put a lot of guys over, didn't put himself over. Does He do commentary on Collision/Rampage? Because of not, he should. Jake Roberts not being in TV for MONTHS only to return to manage a group of luchadores is my kind of goofiness. I hope Don Callis didn't spend a lot in Archer's contract seeing as never bothered to come out and help him.

What's fascinating at this point is that It WCW is coasting on old guys in way too prominent roles (Hogan, Luger, Flair, Funk, Arn are way too prominent) but simultaneously trying to elevate their midcarders near the main event. But rather than try to elevate guys who have been there a while and are over to a degree (Booker, Kidman, even Disco and Lash are getting reactions-ish), they are elevating guys who have been there a relatively short time (Harris Bros, Wall, Mamalukes) and have shown no real skill or even ability to get over, despite being all over the show. Also, I have to clarify my point on the Dog and a genuinely funny moment. I have since gone back and watched it, and it's terrible, but the reason it was so funny to me is that I had been watching it with my brother and were marvelling at how stupid the whole thing was (And also laughing that they kept his name as Al Greene, a homophone for the famous soul singer, and trying to imagine Al Green's voice coming out of Al Greene or trying to imagine Al Green in Al Greene's role) and I presented a way to write him off TV cribbing from a Simpsons episode and then they go and do almost that exact thing. So, just to clarify, The Dog is some all-time terrible WCW stuff, please don't think less of me for my endorsement of it! You know what's really underratedly dreadful is how much WCW is using some...I'll be nice and say "Underwhelming talent" here: The Wall, Lodi/Lenny, Al Greene, Brian Knobbs, The Maestro, the Mamalukes, David Flair, burned-out Bam Bam Bigelow. And there were WAY more talented wrestlers out there that they could have brought in who would have brought more talent-wise or charisma-wise than these guys and likely been a lot cheaper (Michael Modest and Christopher Daniels, for instance, who are about a year away from a WCW tryout match were both better wrestlers than any of the aforementioned, even if your mileage on both may vary). It's not even a case of pushing workrate guys which was all the rage back then, it's just being mystified at the guys they ARE pushing. Like what about the Maestro would persuade anyone that he needs TV time and a decent push, he's average in the ring and nothing he's done gets over in any conceivable way. It's so WEIRD.

I remember being rather grossed-out by this at the time and thinking how darkly ironic it would be if Terry Funk had survived all those insane death matches over the years, only to succumb to salmonella poisoning from carrying around that raw chicken.

I wonder how much AEW fans ACTUALLY watch Collision/Rampage because seems to be a notable lack of heat for wrestlers mostly relegated to those shows (Save FTR and Christian). I'm mostly saying this in reference to Aminata's save because that crowd could not have cared less. But I have noticed it in the past with other wrestlers too (IIRC Mortos got a pretty lacklustre response until he started Mortos things which woke the crowd up pretty fast).

Intentional, actually. Also pretty sure it was lifted from the Simpsons.

Read this as "Paisan Plunger" and wondered if there was some different Italian variation of the plunger before re-reading it. Oh it will be...but it also leads to one of my favourite WCW comedy segments ever...unless I imagined it. Haha that would be amazing...but in the summer my little brother AND my cousin will both get on camera! My cousin just stares into the camera while the commentary yammers on about either a Tank Abbott attack or a Harris Bros. run-in (So you've still got many months of them ahead!) and slowly does the RVD point-to-yourself pose then points at the camera. I have to ask: Does anyone catch him?

See, this is the biggest problem with Three Count for me. Fun workers, fun gimmick, but they should win all 3 on 1 matches easily. Someone in WCW clearly wasn't happy with hiring them/their gimmick (In Chris Jericho's book he talks about being hired by Eric Bischoff then getting a phonecall from a ticked-off Kevin Sullivan several days later begrudgingly calling him in for a "Try-out", not knowing he was already under contract), because Three Count gets NOTHING in terms of matches. Their gimmick of preening prettyboy boy band members works perfectly in concert with them being cowards who can't win a match one-on-one, I'm cool with that. But once it gets two on one and especially three on one, they should be winning all those matches. The fact that they can't even beat low-to mid carders in 3-1 matches, keeps them from getting any heat. The Okerlund taketh, then he giveth. Daffney also a vessel for the viewer I read "barely liking each other" as "barely licking each other" and was grateful for the lack of audio! I was thinking about what one would do with a Goldust suit and was reminded of the interview where they asked Michelle Pfeiffer if she kept her 'Batman Returns' cat suit and wears it to spice things up and she was like "Oh god no, that suit was vacuum-sealed so I could barely breathe in it and we were only allowed to film for a limited time before it became dangerous." Apparently it was so tight that they had to repeatedly tell her to stop screaming her lines because she was in such pain wearing it. There was no need for this anecdote...I just thought it was funny and horrible. Much like Dustin wearing Goldust suits outside of a wrestling setting. Giving me flashbacks to high school creative writing classes: "No it's funny because..." Man, I can't believe how long the write-up for this is...like I kept scrolling up every time I'd quote something and go "I can't believe how stuff is on this 2 hour show!" but not in a good way.

This made me chuckle "Look he's a good guy...except for when it comes to consent!" I know this is because he's Hogan's buddy and figured into the main event after, but I'd much prefer it to be a random weekly event where people beat up Jimmy Hart as he tries to get a snack. I, again, also have to puzzle over WHY they were trying to get the Harrises over. It wasn't like they won a bidding war for their services. It wasn't like fans felt they were held down in either WWE or ECW. It wasn't like they were some secret workrate maniacs or had especially highly-rated segments. I could actually understand this push if it was Kronik (Even though I pretty much hated Kronik), I could understand this if it was someone they had poached away from the competition (The Dudley Boyz, The Hardyz). Honestly, even if it was just a return of the LOD, I'd understand it. But, all of this to get over a team that's never really been over...is just such...as my 4 year old niece says, a bummer (She got in trouble last month for saying to her grandfather "You're a bummer, man!" from her parents (My dad thought it was hilarious) and we're still not sure where she picked it up because I'm pretty sure the Paw Patrol never call anybody "bummers").

I actually LIKED the Tank Abbott push at the time. I think maybe his "aura"(?!) was bigger at the time; the mythology of him being a big, beer-drinking, street fighter, he had a genuinely scary persona (I know I've told the story many times on here but even in the midst of his 3-Count association, when he showed up to Nitro here people were still genuinely TERRIFIED of him except, of course, my little brother). I actually loved the idea of giving him the World Title (again, at the time) but he had to be presented better and trained better. Like if he came out, threw good punches and was able to basically brutalize guys into unconsciousness, sort of a portly Goldberg push, I think he could have believably been a short-term World champ (Plus you could have someone like, say, Sting beat him by just being more experienced and outlasting Tank's initial flurry). But even as Tank's maybe biggest pro wrestling fan, this whole storyline was TERRIBLE. First off, and it's a minor quibble, but they already had Al Green bouncing around WCW shows, often referred to as "Big" Al Green (Plus 911 also spent some time in WCW as Big Al), so to introduce this new random (shitty) guy known as Big Al, you immediately muddy the waters with "Wait is that the guy from WCWSN?! Wait is that 911?" Secondly, he was terrible. Thirdly, he should have at least beaten up a jobber on Nitro to get over that he was a genuinely a threat to Abbott. Then to have this leather jacket on a pole match was ludicrous. And lastly that whole post-match thing was either A) a poorly-conceived storyline that Tony Schiavone was the only one smart enough to realize that it was going to sink them and tried to kayfabe over the top of or B) Something Tank came up with himself that Tony Schiavone tried to cover for. Either way, someone should have gotten dumped for that one!

ROH Underground! In all honesty, though, I actually thought Raw Underground (Shane's big idea) was kinda cool and, at least, a little different presentation-wise for WWE. I think if they had tweaked it and, more importantly, kept it separate from WWE they could have at least built up some new stars with it. I liked Shane as the mouthy Dane White-esque leader of the group and while the shootfights were..ehhh....they could have worked on the concept a bit. I think if the concept had been a little more "This is different" and less "This is really REAL" it might have stood a chance, plus keeping Vince and Dunn away from it.

I never want to hear anyone complain about the MITB suitcase being lame after Christian's title shot was derailed because of theft of the official pen! Seriously there are no other pens at ringside?! Or does it have to be that pen?! So you could just steal the pen and his title shot just disappears?? Danielson-Nigel was all right but there was too much goofiness (the headstand spot was so stupid that a guy who's supposed to be such a ring technician wouldn't just stand on the other side of the ring and wait for him to climb down instead of running into discreet repeatedly; you could argue he was so infuriated by Nigel that he charged in but that doesn't line up with this vicious personal feud opening with chain wrestling) and such weak strikes (I think Danielson was trying REALLY hard not to get anywhere near Novel's head). Highlight of the show was Prince Nana cosplaying as Jimmy Hart as the Hulkster's manager ( "Swerve is working so hard to get back for you kids!" ) being interrupted by MVP who delivered the promo of he night, just pandering enough to get pops, just heelish enough to set up the future.

I'm just on Episode 2, and the part where Vince denies assaulting Rita Chatterton then completely hedges in the next breath is just BRUTAL (paraphrasing) "They accuse you of rape and you're a rapist, doesn't matter if you did it. It wasn't a rape...and if it was the statute of limitations had passed anyways."