Firebreaker Chip

Feel like Bluetista and Complaining Wheelchair Batista should be the two canonical defining looks for the big man 100 CAW slots gives a bit more leeway for updating guys at least

I guess his glorious and fondly remembered '14 Rumble win? Probably looks a bit sparse without Gracie logos etc

I'm assuming that match went 37:54 and ended with the ring completely covered in blood

On commentary for the women's tag Neville-Owens wasn't much a of a match sadly New Day protesting against the Dudley's wastage of tables continues to impress

lots of Vader shirts spotted in the crowd so Final Four looks good at least

I cringed when she called Alicia the "wrestling Nene Leakes". This is so not the demo for that insult. Would Becky Lynch know who Nene Leakes is? Would Becky Lynch the character know who Nene leakes is? I had to Google her but I'm not American and wrestling bubble etc. It is possibly being venerated to Punk Pipe Bomb levels in the parallel universe where "sufferin' succotash" got over and became the ur-text for all future wrestling catchphrases I briefly hoped Enzo and Cass were going to come out to clown Barrett/Stardust but I guess that was just a (very) throwaway segment and wasn't being set up as an actual tag match that got aborted by Cody going vengeful on Wade

Becky's promo stuff was awful last night but god what if someone actually wrote it for her thinking it would be good for her to say

But her introducing the revolution resulted in a really hot segmet. It worked. It worked a bit, because people were excited to see the new faces, but not as well as if they'd been portrayed as turning up of their own volition and not been buried in a three way feud that makes no sense I kinda feel in general that they're due a few more explosive Shield-style NXT call-ups instead of just throwing them in a midcard match and talking about how they were good in NXT and doing nothing with them I guess Owens is by far the best recent one because it acted like that was what it was and then subverted it

Tyler being a bit too precious and overawed for the occasion was definitely very well done on a second watch, him getting increasingly irritated at the ref talking to him/touching him, and then culminating in him just screaming with petulant rage shortly before getting pinned was gold

I'unno I guess he made Goldberg, but you could argue he was also then involved in backstage stuff that permanently tarnished Goldberg in WCW later on Speaking of Hogan, I assume when he and Warrior did the respect embrace at WM VI they were actually muttering all sorts of insults at each other - are there any other good examples of moving post-match respect handshake situations where both guys actually legit hated each other's guts but the fans at the time bought it as sincere? (I guess a lot of them are probably Hogan) There would probably have been a classic one at WM12 if Shawn hadn't had Hebner tell Hart to just leave; still kind of suspect the 2010 reconciliation stuff between Shawn and Bret still had at least a bit of needle to it

I would like to see several weeks of RNN-style vignettes where Bo gradually Bolieves himself back to walking upright and eating solid food WWE's cheerleading of their own Divas stuff also has a protests-too-much quality to it that unintentionally draws attention to the fact that they only need a 'revolution' because they're years behind the times and their women's stuff has been at best cringeworthy and at worst actively, enthusiastically misogynistic for years I mean I didn't pay much attention but when UFC launched their women's division I assume they didn't spend months going "oh wow look at Ronda, so brave, she's going to try really hard to put on a fight that's just as good as the men!!", because she's self-evidently a badass with enough charisma to carry the build to a fight herself

I think Brock is meant to have released the hold because the bell rang and he thought he'd won, even though he could clearly see the ref didn't call for it and Lesnar of all people is gonna crank a submission until the referee physically drags him off imo if a finish requires this many elements to have an explanation it is... not a good finish

Thing is there were several loud chants for Sasha Banks, so while the neckbeard anti-women element is probably real, there was also a vocal section of people who weren't into this segment because they wanted to see the woman who had a great title match two nights ago instead it was weird and hard to interpret overall though because it seemed like the segment killed the subsequent match, but people were still half-heartedly popping for Charlotte in between doing the fuckin wave

A Raw crowd can't necessarily be expected to immediately know everything about the NXT women and pop for all their shit, but it doesn't exactly help them to a) script them with cringey lines that make them sound like complete dunces and b ) put them in awkward talky segments that drag them into the black hole of the Bellas' joyless mean girl Total Divas shit

dead at that post match beatdown, couldn't have lampshaded all their company's top babyfaces being massive dicks any better then the heel authority figures are leading a heartwarming birthday singalong for their cuddly pyschopath father ¯\(°_o)/¯ Definite yes to the Bulgarian Brute/Stupid French-American alliance continuing though, yep

If the Duddley's are going to do every one of those stupid catch phrase moves every match, they can fuck right off back to wherever Donald Rumsfled, Lizzie McGwire, and every other stupid thing from 2002 are locked up. Imagine coming from such an awful, black-hearted city that you would enthusiastically sing along with that wazzup dudley dick headbutt bullshit as it steals the thunder of that New Day performance

Two days after the best women's match in the company's history blows the roof off the same venue, Mike the Miz gets a babyface pop for loudly shouting at all of the women in the ring to shut up, because the segment is so terrible who wriiiiites thiiiiiiis shiiiiiiiit First hour had some of the greatest comedy heel stooging I've ever seen, I cannot believe they had the only payoff to the Summerslam main event be Brock Lesnar being cheerfully instructed to Bolieve + Xavier Woods on a trombone mournfully serenading Kalisto getting pinned

New Day being revealed to be some clandestine cult with tentacles that reached far further than anyody realised, including to the WWE Champion and the guy conveniently booked to host Summerslam

Timekeeper revealed to be corrupt, Undertaker revealed to be in league with the Authority who are still heels outside of NXT, Lesnar not around to take revenge but some kind of brooding "vigilante" figure is I mean Okada was there with Joe but yeah probably not him

Amell having the worst physique out of everyone in that match was kind of ridiculous Barrett, Rhodes, Ziggler, Miz all kinda stuck with that "2010 future top guy" stink where it's now impossible to actually imagine them as main eventers in a post-Punk/Bryan world, the last survivors after Ted and Johnny Nitro got the fuck outta dodge

Four way tag match was definitely one of the best of the night, everyone in it seemed to be crazy over, New Day immediately in the zone of having overshot heel heat back into massive babyface heat despite doing the cheap heat/deliberately bad singing combo Isn't Lesnar not scheduled for Raw tomorrow? Potential spoilers about the guy who is already circulating

Nobody bumps better than Lesnar for a chokeslam, it's true

Thought the Cena-Rollins match was good in that OTT spotfest way Cena's been doing, but it felt a bit like an attempt to portray Rollins as being more legit than his title reign made him seen, followed by the most counterproductive finish imaginable, but now he has both belts anyway and [flippant reaction gif]

not actually sure the main events of that show warrant more than flippant reaction gifs

they should just replay the entirety of Becky/Sasha on Raw with "9.99" intermittently flashing on screen