Cobra Commander

You underestimate just how big of a mark for Robocop I am. If it were up to me he'd be at LEAST the US champion by now. Well, I guess Sweetser has just been officially outed as being Jim Herd. THE HUNCHBACKS WOULD HAVE WORKED DAMN IT unfortunately David McLane went out of business before WOW got some hunchbacks

WalMart customers start a chant for Phil, the WalMart cashier who quit his job last month

the "Yankees are burying their young players" line was right there, Gregg

this is clipped, slightly, but just a weird pairing to see together Also, I watched Genius/Hogan (SNME), and decided some of the Genius' selling made it look like Lanny was being attacked by invisible bees

accidentally killed a trainee

prepare for some Randy Orton/Daniel Bryan tag team matches

I went to a La Caja China website and now I see banner ads for Caja China on the board. That seems like interesting marketing, and delicious

random thoughts.. some possibilities if all the WWE divas got last names Aksana: Aksana Seville? Aksana Raydon? Aksana Lithuania? Cameron: Cameron Andrews? Cameron Funk? Emma: Emma Tenille? Emma Dashwood? Dancin Emma Morella (sorry Phil)? Layla: her real name is Layla El. So she really didn't get much of a last name to work with unless you want her to become Layla El Sharif from North Africa. Naomi: Naomi McCray? Naomi Trinity? Naomi Funk? Natalya: no idea what they could do here (joke) I'm kinda avoiding Eva Marie/Summer Rae since they're not exactly the same as the one-name divas.

y'all been watching too much cable news coverage of Ukraine. In before someone suggests a quick world title match, followed by Daniel Bryan coming out to wrestle for the title

that, and Heyman doing Bryan's promos for a bit would improve the overall quality of said promos. Instead of Bryan running into a shot acting like a complete lunatic towards HHH. That, and HHH would likely massacre Bryan on the mic if that's one on one. Also, it's weirdly hilarious that they unified the belts, then downgraded the World Title to a level below what it was pre-unification. The World Champ appears for like 3 minutes a night if he's not wrestling, or maybe has one match

shitty fantasy booking thought: Would Daniel Bryan come off as the dumbest person in the WWE if he entered into an Unholy Alliance with Brock Lesnar? where they agree that if either one of them wins the title, they'll give their first big title match to the other guy (without obviously turning them both to the same face/heel alignment) Although that'd probably turn Heyman face in the eyes of the crowd

count me in as someone who doesn't totally understand the whole draw of Dollar Shave Club. I have an electric razor (Rotary) and it still works for me after years. But I guess if you want to use non-electric razors, DSC is for you Anyways, i'm sure the Regal podcast is going to be all sorts of awesome and Austin can expand his WOS YouTube playlist

the multiple attacks on Cena after the knee injury might be a solid sign that it's not completely legit. Although they didn't actually hit the bad knee. Random WWE-related dream: for some reason, a Paul Bearer-lookalike or a Paul Bearer mini was attacking Kane with the Urn all around ringside, and the Undertaker (or a Mini-Undertaker) was around, but for some reason, John Cena was having his head shaved in the ring

Nobody mocks Reigns for the Spear... I want Cesaro to be stretching people. Give him the Chickenwing or Tazmission and let him just choke people out left and right ala Samoa Joe. I'm also waiting for him to bust out the UFO at Mania too. well, Reigns is far from the first WWE guy to do a Spear (see: Edge's running hug-tackle). But the Goldberg chanting for Ryback makes me kinda skeptical of how they'd respond to Cesaro using the Jackhammer. Sure, they like Cesaro and all, but nobody in the WWE has done the Jackhammer regularly since those few weeks where Billy Gunn used the Jackhammer for some reason

could Cesaro do a Jackhammer without spurring stupid crowd chants?

essentially.. he landed on his forearms. Considering Cesaro nailed all his other power spots on Big E, fucking up the Neutralizer seems like a random thing. Watch them switch his finisher to the Giant Swing now They should have switched his finisher to something else with the name change anyway. I'm not feeling the Neutralizer especially when a lot of his other moves overshadow it. can he develop a Samoan Spike and have it be called the Swiss Army Knife? but in all seriousness. we'll probably have Reigns pinning people with the Superman punch and Cesaro pinning them with Giant Swings. We're moving in a more simplistic direction with finishers in WWEland. One guy wins matches with a running knee, another with a big boot. Not knocking the quality of the moves, but they've moved away from the elaborate 2000s indys moves towards stuff that can actually be used on dudes above 6'0/250lbs

essentially.. he landed on his forearms. Considering Cesaro nailed all his other power spots on Big E, fucking up the Neutralizer seems like a random thing. Watch them switch his finisher to the Giant Swing now

The vibe I got tonight was they're going to try to turn Orton babyface for the match. What a disaster. Batista can't go five minutes without sucking wind. Which means the only way to really layout the match is have Orton dominate on offense with his wide array of rest holds. As ridiculous as the "title shot guarantee" in Batista's contract sounded at the time, what other logical reason is there for WWE to be forging ahead with this match? They're in a no-win situation with Batista. They pretty much have to turn him heel based on the reactions he's been getting. But if they do, he'll have to start carrying the matches, which would be an even bigger disaster from an in-ring standpoint. heel stooging. Batista can just assemble an entourage, have them do a Gracie train down to the ring during matches, then Batista cheats and stalls like a motherfucker. Cheat/stall, face comeback, some more cheating, and then the match either ends with the face winning, or one of the entourage helping Batista cheat his way to victory. It's not exactly carrying a match, but the heel doesn't have to be the workhorse all the time. Same sort of no-win situation exists with Bryan, because their history with booking smaller champs guarantees that Bryan would be booked like Benoit/Mysterio were when they held belts. The WWE doesn't book smaller face champs very well. They have their type of face champ and it's not a smaller guy who shows vulnerability

heel stooging to the rescue

Alberto Del Rio's "wrestles the same guy over and over" gimmick is weirdly compelling. Batista kills ADR 2 weeks in a row and beats him at the PPV, then ADR gets a win back for some reason. Heck, have Sandow face Batista and get a win just to really stun people

yeah, it's like someone got hurt an hour before so they had to cover for that Considering how many midcarders they never use are on the roster, you'd think that they'd have some standby matches lined up in case someone gets hurt. It seems like that'd be a smarter move than sending the guys you expect to carry the company in the future out there to be exposed. Shit, throw a Divas match out there. It's not like the crowd would've reacted any worse. if someone gets hurt, say 30 seconds into a match in the 1st/2nd hour, that wipes out maybe 8 or 15 minutes of match time. If Cena gets hurt before/during a match, that wipes out 15-20 minutes solid at the end of the 3rd hour. So making up 10-15 minutes in hour 1-2 is a lot easier than making up 20 minutes later in the show. They're not running a 20 minute Divas match at 10:30 EST. But they could run some 8 minute segments in the 2nd hour to eat up some time. If the crowd doesn't like Reigns/Bray, then that could be an indicator for either one's upward mobility. Or it could be a bitchy crowd just bitching over a perfectly fine match. I'm pretty sure that whenever Bryan gets the belt, the smark nation in the crowd will find something new to whiz on. Smarks are the new marks

nah, that'd be suggesting the WWE creative aren't a bunch of total morans but that they had to get around the possibility that they had to change the main event match suddenly Also, I loved the hilarity of Randy Orton getting a face pop for coming out during the Batista match. Just watch this match morph from "shitty heel Randy Orton v. shitty face Batista" to "shitty face Randy Orton v. quality heel Batista" Which could always mean a Randy Orton/Daniel Bryan v. HHH (or HHH Surrogate)/Batista TV main event

yeah, it's like someone got hurt an hour before so they had to cover for that I kinda want Paul Heyman to just blatantly try recruiting Daniel Bryan now

Sting waits by the phone quietly. But yeah, vignettes where John Cena drives his wheelchair up to CM Punk's condo, or Sting's house, to arrange for them to take on the Wyatts for Cena or Punk can kick Cena's wheelchair off the stage and turn heel