Cobra Commander

I’m not actually going to the show but I’ll be watching it as a non-Nielsen family Unless they’re completely shitty at filming now. They should be able to make the arena look larger than it is. After West Valley City, Independence is gonna look jam packed. A lot of the empty seats on Wrestletix are long away from the ring. Tony has lots of things going on but eventually he will acknowledge Independence instead of calling it Kansas City.

We’re so close to Tony challenging Shawn Michaels to meet him at the Alamo

I drove around the general area of the Cable Dahmer Arena getting/retrieving lunch today. Here’s my report 1) I didn’t see anybody who looked like a pro wrestler. But it’s possible some of them were in cars. 2) there weren’t a lot of people at Popeyes (which is a little bit SE of the CDA). I got two pieces spicy combo for $10. 3) Ozzy was on the radio as I drove past the arena but this didn’t summon Chris Jericho to rush my car 4) Hooters did not look busy at 11:35am 5) The classic rock station mentioned both the card tonight and the WWE House Show on Saturday night. They’re offering tickets to the WWE show. Nice mid 60s temps. Should get a little higher. We’re actually experiencing autumn around here after a late start. Now time to eat some chicken

Tony appears to be hyping himself up for the Tuesday show by listening to "Fight Music" by D12 on a loop while refusing to sleep at any time in the last 48 hours before the show

Since tomorrow/Tuesday night is an unofficial war between WWE and AEW (although for the interests of good taste and expectations setting, it's not technically a war) and since Baseball playoffs will be happening during part of the daytime... well... it's time to find something vaguely war-like in the WWE Network Peacock vault. It's time for... Raw is WAR (5/26/1997) Maybe there should be more fire and explosions in wrestling show intros. We are live from Evansville, Indiana with not yet officially evil Vince and Jim Ross. We open up with Stone Cold arriving to open the show. Followed by his tag team partner Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in a Homer Simpson t-shirt this week for some reason. JR presides over this meeting. Can this tag team coexist? Can any man coexist with 1997 Shawn Michaels? The Legion of Doom arrive to stare down Michaels and Austin. Hawk being the same height as Shawn Michaels was not something I expected. We open with The Legion of Doom vs Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman: No wheelchair for Bret Hart as the Hart Foundation joins Neidhart/Pillman. Bret Hart is scheduled to face Shawn Michaels at King of the Ring (about that). Brian Pillman would be the father of future NXT Star Lexis King. The 1997 King of the Ring, presented by Super Soaker! Okay, now it's match time. For some reason, the Hart Foundation makes two entrances? This would be the first Brian Pillman Raw match. JR does his best 1983 Mid South by bringing up the origin of the Anvil nickname. Hawk fucks up a press slam and then just does it the right way. Pillman and Animal kinda fuck up a spot where Pillman knocks Animal to the floor. Wild to hear JR use the throat operations factoid to try putting Pillman over a heel. Eventually Owen and Davey mercykill this match and run in, leading to Austin and Michaels making a save. Austin and Michaels fight each other. HOW WILL THEY EVER COEXIST. Out of Animal, Hawk, Neidhart, and Pillman in 1997, man that's not a pretty four-some. All the stooges try to break up Austin and Michaels. Who are wrestling for the Tag Team Titles tonight. Meanwhile, Sunny shoots Honky Tonk Man with a Supersoaker. Well soaking is one thing associated with some fans looking at Sunny in 1997. Not sure who was utilized worse between Missy Hyatt in NWA/NWA and Sunny post-1996 in WWF. Jerry the King Lawler vs Goldust in the KOTR Tournament later. Which should go great. Paul Bearer is backstage and if anything happens to him, the Secret will be revealed. Man this RAW backstage interview area had a look to it. Next up, it's D. Lo Brown (w/ Faarooq, Crush and Savio) vs Bob Sparkplug Holly. Weird how they couldn't fit Bob Holly into the Gang Warz. Aren't Pit Crews a bit like a gang. Big upset for Bob Holly last week. Faarooq is on commentary for this huge match. Nice rana by Bob Holly. Two fans have signs, a bit quieter than it would be in a few months. Naturally they're running a "First Black WWF Champ" thing with the guy who was the first Black WCW Champ 5 years earlier. I can feel this match getting destroyed in the ratings by Nitro. D. Lo wins by countering a rana into a sitdown powerbomb. Nobody in the crowd appeared to give a fuck about this match. The Undertaker is standing by in a dark space. They have technical difficulties. They get him to do his promo with actual audio. Jerry Lawler is standing by and he cuts an infamous promo and gets cheered because this is USWA Country. Don't worry, they mute a certain word because the world has changed since 1997. GET AN OFFICIAL KING OF THE RING INFLATABLE CHAIR. The chair costs 60 fucking dollars. Wowwwww. Now it's time for Goldust vs Jerry The King Lawler in a King of the Ring Qualifying match. Since Marlena's a babyface, Vince gets to tell us how good looking she is. Last week we met Dakota Runnels. This is a huge "Does He Know" meme of a matchup and location. We flash back to December when Goldust turns face by telling the world that he's not gay. Lawler isn't in black and red for once. Goldust isn't necessarily getting booed but Lawler is being cheered loudly. That Lawler Piledriver looked gnarly. Goldust's piledriver looked pretty good. Lawler's tights look like a rug design. Goldust doing some selling tonight. The crowd is counting and cheering Goldust's corner punch shtick. They're just so positive tonight. Lawler beats Goldust with a rollup out of the order and his feet on the ropes ans the crowd goes wild. Goldust gets booed for the postmatch beatdown. Lawler gets to roll down the ramp. Marlena steps over Lawler. Well, that was certainly an experience. Nice restraint by Lawler to not drop the strap and get a huge crowd pop for a 5 minute match where he's technically the heel. Stone Cold is standing by, then Brian Pillman ambushes him and the Hart Foundation joins in. Flash Funk is taking on.. Stone Cold is walking and Shawn Michaels just got beat down too, and then they argue. Anyways, our matchup is Flash Funk vs Rocky Maivia. One of these two is gonna become the biggest movie star wrestler ever. Yeah these fans don't seem to care about Rocky. The opposite of love is apathy? This is face vs face. There's a ruckus in the audience as the Headbangers have inflatable King of the Ring chairs and they're at ringside. Nice leg lariat by Flash. Rocky gets two for the proto-Rock Bottom. Flash with a plancha and then the Headbangers show up to end this matchup before the fans risk caring about it. Flash takes a boombox to the head. Okay, this match is still going on and Rocky wins with a crossbody. Feels like there was a blaring loud "we don't care about this match, you shouldn't either" siren during this one. Amazing how soon things change for Rocky. We're on two part two of the Mankind in-depth interview. Oh yes, Goldust actually went first and then got left in the dust by these Foley interviews. His testicles were the size of grapefruits. More on that later. Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels at King of the Ring. If Bret doesn't win in 10 minutes, he will never wrestle in the USA again (well, they'll recycle that stip for later). Pillman vs Stone Cold at King of the Ring (nope). Stone Cold and Michaels vs Owen and Bulldog later tonight. And that ends the first hour of the show. Let's do the intro again because it's the WARZONE (so that they get two entries in the ratings). TWO PLUS FOUR ANOTHER ONCE MORE RAWISTHETHORNINYOUREYE. Man these fans love explosions. Vince and JR are still on commentary. This is such a weird formatting quirk that they did for years. Ken Shamrock will join us on commentary for... Vader vs Ahmed Johnson. The Headbangers left their inflatable chairs at ringside. If Vader wins this match, he gets Ahmed Johnson's spot in the King of the Ring tournament. JR really running through these anecdotes like he's doing NFL Draft profiles ("Ahmed was an abused child who joined the Bloods!"). The Ultimate Fighting Championship is this Friday. WWF working with UFC? That's a weird one. Ahmed Johnson wins with a spinebuster as we're seeing a splitscreen of Paul Bearer. Are there new members of the Hart Foundation on the Way? Give the WWF Superstar Line your money to find out if Yokozuna will be joining the Hart Foundation tonight. The Warzone is brought to you by the Army and Supersoaker. Paul Bearer is standing by to do another promo. It looks like his bandages are better applied this time around. Hunter Hearst Helmsley is taking on Rockabilly. That Ode to Joy theme didn't last long, did it? We get a look back at Chyna's debut which was 3 months ago. JR tells us that the rich people live in Greenwich for the fans unfamiliar with the social dynamics of Connecticut. Holy fuck this Rockabilly gimmick is so bad. Last week Goldust hit Honky Tonk Man with a guitar. Billy Gunn looks like a country music star who believes Garth Brooks ruined his career. Fans still don't appear to be giving a crap. Chyna bodyslams the Honky Tonk Man on the outside. Helmsley wins with the Pedigree. Amazing how soon things change for Rockabilly. The Undertaker is standing by. He is still in a dark room. The Undertaker has a made a decision. He will do what he has to do. It's Sable and she has an inflatable chair. How many of these things did they make because they sure do want to sell them. Send a postcard to Mt. Morris, Illinois for an inflatable King of the Ring chair. Phone number no longer active. Time for us to learn more about Mankind. He hitchhiked to the Garden to see Jimmy Snuka jump off the cage (which happened 40 years ago this month). Mankind made a movie about himself at the age of 18. He was Dude Love back then. He jumped off of his house onto a mattress (see, they did that in the 80s too). This video got Mick Foley trained by Dominic DeNucci. Cactus Jack wasn't supposed to last as long as he did. Next week, Cactus Jack is in death matches in Japan! Yeah, these segments rule and you've probably seen them already. Now time for our main event, it's Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Owen Hart and the British Bulldog. Quick start. Sorta weird to see babyface Vince putting over babyface Austin. But i'm someone who didn't regularly watch until 3 months after this show. Despite all the prematch hype, Austin and Michaels work well together. The LOD is watching a monitor since they face the winners. This is the first Michaels match in months. The inflatable chairs are still at ringside. It would presumably be an automatic DQ to use such dangerous weapons in a match. This match rocks and is probably on no shortage of Best-Ofs. Michaels is in this match for a long time and he's in some peril. Earl Hebner sure does get distracted easily. JR confuses the Leg Lariat for the move that put out Michaels in November 1995. Hot tag to Stone Cold. Michaels superkicks Bulldog and Austin gets the pin. We have new champions and then an postmatch attack on Michaels. Austin's not helping out.. because he's going after unprotected Bret Hart instead. But how will the postmatch impact that Michaels/Hart match at King of the Ring. And that match isn't even the final segment! Standing by with Stone Cold backstage. He won the Tag Team titles by himself. Which is a hilarious claim when you consider the match. Michaels shows up and they argue after spending a match not really showing dissention. Next week Michaels and Austin take on the Legion of Doom from Huntington, West Virginia. Paul Bearer walks down to the ring and Vince joins him. Will Paul Bearer tell us the secret? We get an extension of the Undertaker cinematic universe. There were 3 graves that day. Which summons the Undertaker to walk fastly to the ring. Oh yeah, if the Undertaker kills Paul Bearer, then his attorneys will reveal the secret. Undertaker goozles Paul Bearer and the fans are into this angle. The Undertaker lets go and salutes Paul Bearer and we fade to black. Well, surely this angle won't dramatically escalate soon! On checking the internet, the ratings for May were Nitro 3.3 with a main event of Sting dropping a bogus Sting as Hogan flees and Raw 2.7. Kinda interesting and counter to narratives that Nitro was winning every week without blowing out Raw around this time. But WCW ratings would start going up as the year went on and we approached Starrcade. I mean, I could have done the first Raw that I remember watching. But that was the Melanie Pillman exploitation episode from my home area so... eh... nope.

Tony has a batsignal for Minoru Suzuki for whenever they need him for a show

For some weird reason, AEW shows in this area sometimes get scheduled around the same time as WWE shows This week, it's AEW Dynamite tomorrow and a WWE House show on Saturday night. Back in the spring WWE had Smackdown on St. Patrick's Day and AEW had Dynamite on March 22nd. Dynamite was also in Independence on June 8th, 2022, November 3rd, 2021, and February 26th, 2020 while WWE was there in September 2022 (Raw), January 2022 (Smackdown), and July 2021 (Raw) post-2020. Tomorrow is the 5th Dynamite in the City of Trails.. Truly a historic moment.

the Lesbians were actually UPW workers (Savvy Sasha and Looney Lane). If the photos are any indicator, they went deep cover after the angle to maybe pick up an extra booking or two. If you were gonna be a woman bumping for Samoans in the 2003 WWE, you had to be a trained worker, bro. the "No offense, but" energy had to be off the charts for scouting women's wrestlers to find the right pair for this spot.

looking around Google Maps and realizing that Twin Peaks might be the best rated restaurant near the Cable Dahmer Arena (if you care about the sample size of how many reviews there are) The list of restaurants on one section of Valley View Parkway between the Arena and Little Blue Parkway: Culvers: 4.4 stars, 2810 reviews Arby's: 3.8 stars, 706 rev Shawarmar: 4.5 stars, 399 rev Carrabba's: 4.3 stars, 1858 rev Hooters: 3.7 stars, 1046 rev Kobe Japanese Steak House: 4.2 stars, 1789 rev BD's Mongolian: 4.3 stars, 2645 rev Golden Corral Buffet & Grill: 3.7 stars, 5821 rev On the other side of I-70, Twin Peaks is at 4.4 stars, Hereford House at 4.3, On The Border is 3.7, Buffalo Wild Wings is 3.8. Chick-Fil-A is a 4.4 and the drive thru is always packed at that location. The Whataburger has a lower rating than Hooters presumably because the women don't look as good at the Whataburger. Anyways, best of luck to the Twin Peaks and Hooters waitresses who are about to meet pro wrestlers.

We just opened a new airport terminal back in February. Looking at the map of the area, do you think Minoru Suzuki would eat at a BD's Mongolian Grill, Kobe Japanese Steak House, Hooters, Carrabbas Italian Grill, the Golden Corral, or Whataburger?

Upon going to Wikipedia, I find that the arenas for last weekend's Collision and tomorrow's Dynamite are both ECHL minor league hockey arenas. The difference is that the Maverik Center in West Valley City has 10,100 seats for Hockey while the Cable Dahmer Arena in Independence has 5800 seats for Hockey Maverik isn't the largest ECHL Arena (remember when Trump held a rally in Tulsa in 2020 and people commented on the low attendance there? that was in the largest arena in the ECHL) and Cable Dahmer isn't the smallest ECHL arena (but it's pretty close). I think this is the 3rd or 4th AEW Show at CDA. WWE has only run there once (for NXT) while sticking to the Sprint/T-Mobile Center.

since I get emails from Cable Dahmer Arena (I don't know how I ended up getting their e-mails).. the "Know Before You Go" email.. Photo of Edge in-between graphics for Dynamite/Rampage Box office opens at 10am (the last time I attended a show in the building, I showed up at 3:30 to buy a ticket for the card later that night). Doors at 5:30. Show starts at 6:30. "Download our mobile app" Parking is $10 if you buy it online more than 24hrs before the event and $20 the day of the show. "Event parking is not allowed in the Costco parking lot" (tough shit dummies!). The hockey team in that building talks up never charging for parking and some people around here haaaaate that the Kansas City Royals charge $20 for parking. (EDIT: looking at the satellite photo, the Golden Corral is closer to the arena than the Costco, but I think they might figure something is up if you park there and immediately bolt for the arena. How many times do you think people had to park at Costco for them to specifically tell people not to park at Costco) All concessions only accept debit, credit and gift cards. Guests are able to transfer cash onto gift cards in $10 increments. No oversized bags, backpacks, or duffle bags are allowed in the arena except for diaper bags and medical bags I'd imagine most of that is pretty standard for post-2020 arena life.

both shows tomorrow night have announced that the first 30 minutes are commercial-free. excited to find out if either AEW or WWE promises to send me free money to watch their show

WWF didn't run in Florida until a month after Vince Sr died (Hollywood, FL in June 1984). They didn't run in Miami until August 1984, they didn't run a show that wasn't on the Atlantic coast of Florida (Miami/Jacksonville/West Palm/Hollywood) until July 1985 (Orlando), and didn't debut in Tampa until August 1985. Eddie killed himself in January 1985.

would the Ants curl themselves into a ball to stop Terry and Dory from putting them in the spinning toe hold

the way AEW is airing ads to get people to attend tomorrow's show (i'm in the local market for the arena), i'm expecting commercials asking people to buy tickets during the show tomorrow night

so far, this Braves NLDS is an advertisement for not relying on hitting in the postseason

Distinguishing yourself from the WWE in 2023 is probably a little harder than it was in 2019 because the WWE is a hotter product now. It will be interesting to see what sort of impact occurs with WWE switching networks for at least Smackdown. I could see a portion of the current Fox audience not following the show to USA with any regularity. And if RAW moves, then all sorts of things could happen. Cordcutters aren't shy about telling us that they cordcut so I gotta imagine there's some fans who only watch Smackdown because they don't watch Cable. There's still positive differences that AEW can lean on between AEW TV and WWE TV. But it might take a little bit of time to build on your strengths again. There's a bit of an arms race (to put it mildly) for tomorrow night and both sides are downplaying the obvious just in case they lose in the ratings.

Jon Moxley vs the Iron Sheik in a high school gym 50 miles outside of Cincinnati would have been an amazing main event in 1981. I don't think Sheiky gets much of a death bump but he'll probably get a little bit of a death bump.

He'd be amazed that anybody was able to run the Gardens since it would be the Louisville-specific version of running your TV show out of the Mid-South Coliseum. In the sense that both buildings haven't been knocked down due to historical status and other relevant reasons. Freedom Hall is the smaller of the two main Louisville arenas and it's a massive building (18885 for Basketball) that only hosts sparsely attended Bellarmine basketball games these days and Bellarmine obviously doesn't bother selling tickets for most of the building.

Having a portion of the roster just disappear last Autumn without any real on-screen explanation as to why probably wasn't a good thing. I think they were in the lull before Collision so having people go off to never be on Dynamite probably didn't hurt much. So it's one of those things where the roster is deep and you don't wanna lose people in the shuffle, but if you shuffle then it gets criticized too.

IIRC, didn't AJ Styles have to look very awkward to do the Styles Clash on Edge? I could be thinking of him working with someone else but it was something to do with Edge's neck or the height difference. The Canadian Destroyer might be literal if you did it to Edge.

Bix not getting Gancarski mentioning Liz Phair in reference to Super Nova was amazing. To go along with his Super Nova reading voice

"it's psychology, Maggle, Edge hurt his neck years ago and bulldogs touch the neck" (I guess Luchasaurus would kill someone if he tried using the Piledriver)

that would be the peak of the feud, followed by a feud between Chikara trainees and Dory Funk Jr trainees that are boring styles clashes