SturmCRF

Bloodborne's slightly easier than Sekiro, as it at least lets you level up. Don't play them too close together though, apart from the stress factor, they teach you bad habits for each other. But also, persevere, I'm shit at games and I beat them both, although From games do tend to produce a bloody minded streak that I don't have anything close to usually. I got Goose Game, Metro Redux, Life Is Strange 2, Brothers and Children Of Morta in the PS sale, and Morta has been devouring my time over the Christmas week. It's a Diablo clone with Roguelike progression mechanics, but the gameplay is fun enough that the grindiness is rewarding, unlike Rogue Legacy, for instance, where it feels like I'm just getting more efficient at a game I fundamentally don't enjoy.

Yeah, The Austerity Program is my final choice. I was hoping Universal Death Church by Lord Mantis would top it, and it is fantastic, but the production doesn't have the crunch of their last album.

Not to be a contrarian, but I think they're one of the few bands to have quantifiably improved with every record. It's certainly an upward trend, their last one in 2016 was one of the best of the decade. It's also the most varied, so a perfect starting point. None of their albums are bad though, the first one is fun but unremarkable and then it's all 8/10 at worst.

I'm not 100% decided on it being my AOTY yet, because it's too damned short, but nothing else has properly supplanted it so far despite that, and they say it's an album not an EP, so - Bible Songs 1 by The Austerity Program.

I once shook hands with Keith Lee. His hands are deceptively exactly as fuckin huge as they look on TV.

It's surreal and great to see Andy Williams on live wrestlling TV, I just hope he still finds the time to record the next ETID album. Now The Dillinger Escape Plan have finished, they're the defacto best live band in the world, and I need new riffs.

Well, Priscilla Spiderkelly is using Jizzlobber by Faith No More as her theme tune, so I'm now in love and will be needing an industrial helping of the settle downs. One of the greatest songs of all time, I even used it for my old e-fed character. The wrestling music bar has been raised!

Kofi would actually perfect. He's sympathetic enough that people might boo the Fiend, losing in a semi squash can't hurt him any more than the Lesnar match, and it closes the gaping plot hole of him dropping the title and cheerfully going back to being a tag wrestler one week later.

Give me a 5 vs 5 vs 5 elimination match and I'll be happy. Eight year old me would have been all over that, and the part of my brain that loves wrestling has barely grown up.

Yeah, it's not at all better really, but if people are going to try and get him sacked they could at least have the integrity to do so on the basis of the actual words he used. And I say this as much more of a Smallman fan than a Cornette fan. Jim is usually more of a dick than he needs to be with his various flare ups, but he does also speak sense about some things, and of all the pieces of shit in wrestling, I don't think he deserves the hate campaigns he attracts.

About two or three years ago, he said Jim Smallman of Progress Wrestling should be strung up in the parking lot for compering a show while dressed like a slob. Which wasn't very nice, but Jim laughed it off and named a show Old Man Yells At Cloud, about two or three years ago. Apparently someone on Twitter has reheated the controversy and tried to pass it off as Cornette saying Smallman should hang himself, in the hope that the NWA would fire him, I guess.

Convince us that the WWE and Universal Titles aren't only the concern of whoever currently holds those belts and their number one contenders. Break the cycle of three month programmes where you can predict the outcome after month one. Don't have your champion lose a huge title match in five seconds and go back to pancake nonsense the next week like nothing's happened. Call up Matt Riddle, Keith Lee, Dominik Dijackovic, Shayna Baszler, Toni Storm, Tyler Bate, Bianca Belair and Pete Dunne and strap the rocket to them. Stop working with Tyson Fury because he's a hateful anti semite and misogynist who has used his comeback from depression to deflect from backwards views that he's never convincingly disavowed. That'd be a start.

More worryingly, how desensitized am I as fan of this nonsense that I almost definitely watched that segment at the time but have no memory of it happening?

I would have thought so, he was a very good amateur wrestler and is what, about 15-20 years younger?

They have three owners, and Jim Smallman now works for WWE UK. I have no idea what's in it for the other two, but I presume they play nice in exchange for getting a selection of their old stars back for big shows, and the promise of eventually getting paid something to be on the Network.

As a Progress season ticket holder, the final straw was their August show, where they gave us Nina Samuels in the main event. It wasn't even that bad, but it was still essentially a 12 minute TV match, with Nina Samuels. Their card for this Sunday is incredible on paper, but it's full of NXT/NXT UK guys making one off returns, with most of the regulars in a battle royale, or main eventing their smaller show the previous day, so I'm gonna go to football instead. The September shows are never included in the season ticket, and while I can't blame them for selling out, I don't want to reward it anymore either.

Moustache Mountain vs Lee and Riddle, it sure as hell doesn't solve Progress' various glaring problems, but it'll be a hell of a match and I want to see it. Currently I'm genuinely torn between going to the Ally Pally show and Watford vs Arsenal, two things I love that are currently awful...

'He has a weird body, like a hanging pig, and he is fiercely ugly' This description of Shingo cracked me up. Can't go all the way with him on Jay White (although I largely agree) or on Ospreay being 15th, but great read.

I'm still on the fence about Code Orange, but Bray's entrance was the highlight of Summerslam and gave me chills. I'm a metal fan, so there's a bit of bias, but more generally, refreshing characters when they get stale and giving your stars, or preferably everyone, proper songs for their entrance, is essential. Moreso with WWE, where they have so many hours of TV for acts to potentially get stale in, and so much of what they can offer that other companies can't comes down to production values and a grander scale.

Very happy with that result. I much prefer Ibushi to Naito as a wrestler, and he's never won the IWGP title, or the G1 for that matter. Course, the joke will be on me if Jay White wins tomorrow...

I loved the first three matches. Shayna vs Mia was fine, but I just don't get Mia Yim, she'd probably be better as a bullying heel, but there's no room for another one. I'm not a star rating guy, but that ridiculous main event is making me dwell far too much on what I'd give it. They put in so much effort, and did so many cool, well executed spots that less than four seems insulting and like it's taking those things for granted, but it was such an overlong, move killing, bloated abortion of excess that more than four and a half seems insane, and like it's encouraging nonsense that shouldn't be rewarded. So I guess I answered my own question, four and a quarter it is.

Why is he not main eventing Summerslam against Brock Lesnar?

Funnily enough, I was literally just practising this at Judo last night, and I think it could work perfectly well against someone not wearing a top. I'm sure it's not the most efficient, and good luck tying up a professional fighter with it, but it doesn't need clothes to grip for it to work. I don't have much more insight, but I liked the coincidence. And I'd really love to see a Judo match between Samoa Joe and Eddie Dennis, or Ronda Rousey and Taz, or any other Judo trained wrestlers.

Also, doesn't this all but eliminate Naito? I don't think he can come back now unless Mox loses all four, which seems unlikely. Although if that makes Ibushi the favourite, he'd be beating Okada on the way to earning a shot against Okada. Unless someone else beats Okada for the title first, or Okada wins it all and picks a challenger, or the G1 winner loses the briefcase... Fair play to NJPW, they've made what looked like a great but predictable G1 into a very tough one to call.

If this means we get someone calling Drake Maverick a piss spraying beast, I don't see how it isn't great news.