Sex Machine Gun

I see the sound alterations being more annoying for me. They've gotten months of practice in a stadium under their belt.

We're taking more about Puerto Rican sovereignty than the Wrestlemania card. Holy jumpin' fucking shit.

So who's gonna tell the author of the story in the first post that Puerto Rico isn't its own country?

They'd better make sure the second night is fire because I expect the first night to squander all the goodwill the live crowd was willing to display. The hardcores will go back to their lodging after night one, read about how flawed shit was, reexamine their reactions, and then hijack the second night.

To be fair, I remember very little this promotion did during the Before Time. Still, I don't trust neckbeards to chaperone TK towards a company that isn't catering to only them.

I think it'd be a mistake because the AEW's fanboy live crowds wouldn't boo them. I also don't believe they'd change their working style either to help the turn. Superkick Parties are an extremely babyface thing.

Where was the AEW world belt? Kenny didn't come out with it, so I kept waiting for Callis to bring it out. Then he didn't.

The opener was the peak for me on the night as far as in-ring action went. Everything meant something and both Kaz and Christian were ruling shit out there which was evidenced by other spots the rest of the night. There was a spot where Kaz was trying to do something to Christian after the latter had just been placed on the top turnbuckle. In it, he puts Christian's legs on the outside of the ropes but punches him before trying to move the next limb. Later on, sadly, Moxley is putting someone who should have been a job guy (his team are some of my boys, to be clear) on the top turnbuckle and Bononi has to sit there like a goof while Moxley puts his legs in position to do a move. The Inner Circle return was... okay. I would have kept them all off TV for at least another week. Also, how long was the Inner Circle waiting in the bathroom? Were the lights also turned on? I can't remember. If someone had to turn on the lights too that meant that the Inner Circle was hanging out in a dark bathroom for who knows how long. This is a weekly refrain but CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE A FULL INTERVIEW SEGMENT WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and it's becoming more obvious by the week that the Bucks can't talk. Only one ever really gets mic time and even tonight he just stood there and listened to Don Callis talk shit for a while. The main event was also... okay. If the mission was to put over Miro as a beast then they did but his team still lost. Kip sold like death for going through some foam board and someone banging a cushioned mallet onto said foam board. He made up for it later by diving through the opening on the whack-a-mole that had thwarted him before. That MKII machine was hilarious. All that could have made it funnier was if it fell apart in Miro's hands. Finally. it was cool to see Trent come back to help fight off Frieza but we didn't need more goddamn minivan bullshit. I hope Mama Baretta gets a trip to the pay windah for this. Legos. Fuck. (how did no one go for the barbed wire on the prize board setup?)

Ermagerd, I hadn't considered this. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. This is going to happen, book it.

Moxley needs to totally squash Bononi. Like, not even a question. And I say that as someone who likes him and... I'm not gonna bother looking, the other guy. Avalon! That's his name, right? Great gimmicks, the two of them, they're qualified Boy Stable-eligible, but Moxley can't be selling for their ilk.

Why did Jericho willingly post a video of himself trying on a belt. Jesus. There's behind the scenes and then there's seeing Shatner having his girdle tightened.

... is he though? If there was an ECW Hall of Fame, absolutely, he gets his own wing. I know the WWE Hall has inducted people who never wrestled for WWE in substantial fashion but at least they were people who had prominent careers in multiple promotions. Raven would get in before Dreamer to me but I do reserve a special shout-out for Dreamer's license plate-based WWE Hardcore belt.

And by the way, how the fuck were the women's tag champs sort of made to look like losers and then come out like, fifteen minutes later to say how awesome you are while the champion is standing right there?

The problem is they've made Lashley look unstoppable for months so sure, Drew can beat up Slapjack's mother's ex-boyfriend and someone who I don't think has been on TV for a while but the fans will see Lashley as legit as well and this build is so stupid just for the sake of a clear face/heel story. Shit, Roman's a big enough heel to occupy that space across two world championship matches, let Lashley/Drew be tweener/face but noooooooo. Let's destroy this successful stable that's gotten our champion to where he is out of nowhere for no good reason! Alexander and Benjamin suddenly looked like chumps again walking to the ring by themselves. No more of this mess with Shane and Lloyd Braun. I do not choo-choo-choose this. Strowman needs to absolutely kill Shane. I imagine they're saving juice for the triple threat main event, but Strowman making zero-offense Shane a bloody mess in a cage for five straight minutes to where he's actually kinda scary again is the only way to salvage this. By the way dummies, isn't Snowpiercer on a channel that advertises your competition? Two different times I came back to the show and either the first thing I saw when changing channels was Alexa Bliss or Randy Orton. When Bliss was laughing at the end of her goddamn playground bullshit thing I had to do the "laugh along with something and turn it into sobbing" gag. Why is this happening? Please end. Just stop. I've never said this before but if one of these two could suffer a minor injury that just takes them out for a few weeks now's the time. Oh who am I kidding, they'll just put someone else in that dumb getup. According to this recap I'm reading, I even missed a Riddle segment with Asuka. Whew, two people I don't want to see in any backstage stuff. I want to see Asuka wrestle, but not talk if this is what they're going to have her doing.

I demand to know why there was so much Riddle tonight. No, the irony of being mystified at this is not lost on me. Poor Asuka. She had to sell that table being flipped into her face like being shot for like, five minutes. If it wasn't that long, it sure felt like it. She's also been told to ratchet up the ka-raaaaaazy Japanese character once more. Also, WHY ARE CHAMPIONSHIP OPPONENTS TEAMING UP AGAIN LESS THAN A MONTH APART AGAINST THE SAME TEAM EVEN After seeing about 70% of the show, I'm amazed at how often seeing something come up made me actually go "aw fuck, this thing." I kinda liked Drew running around fucking up people until it gave me more Riddle. Fuckin' A. The main event angle was pretty good until Corbin showed up. MVP sat back with purpose and let Lashley speak for himself. Very happy until all this broke up the Hurt Business. Raw tonight was "That was kind of okay, until....: The Show!" So frustrating. I'm sure when I go skim over a recap I'll come back and bitch about some more stuff.

Maybe he meant that a Canadian would melt in Death Valley?

Justin Credible will sneak in, however, when X-Factor gets inducted in 2032.

I already knew about it, but when RVD came up on Raw tonight while they listed the other inductees I felt really, really happy from a deep place. I know HHH went in with the DX induction but RVD beat him there as a single! Now if I could just go back in time and tell my 2002 self about this and say "chill, RVD will be all right." So him and the Dudleys are the only fully legit, got big in the original ECW first wrestlers so far? I can't think of anyone else, male or female, who was an actual mainstay and not like Eddie whose run was only a matter of months. Heyman's in as soon as he retires but I'm having a hard time thinking of anyone else who was synonymous with ECW that'd be considered. Shane Douglas ain't gonna make it, neither will Sabu and damn sure not Taz any time soon. They really need to use an older picture of Kane for his graphic, like 98/99 Kane when he looked like the genuine last person on the roster you'd ever want to get their hands on you.

I think Cage thinks it's a body business period.

All it says is that it's the 17th game, not that it would take place last in the regular season. Since they like to close seasons with nothing but divisional games, that won't be happening.

No, but the "Inner Circle" thing is hilarious. Now I'm imagining Chris Jericho makes the Jaguars pick, completely off his tits wasted.

This fucking sucks so hard.

I said the same thing. Friggin' seriously?

I don't remember this at all, but I also struggle to remember lots of shit. The last time KO and Zayn were even involved with each other was what, 2016? That's a goddamn eternity in pro wrestling time and I doubt they'd honor a "LAST TIME EVAR~" thing after so long. Hell, this company gave us ONCE IN A LIFETIME twice in a calendar year. That shot of the pirate ship at the stadium had me staring for a minute wondering why the fuck it was there, then remembered the KO pledge to jump off of it somehow. How long will the Walk n' Brawl take to get up there from the middle of the field? Not only that, but how quickly will people make AEW comparisons when integrating a football stadium into a match? Sad thing is I like KO and Zayn more than almost everyone in the Stadium Stampede match but that'll be the analogue people use. I'm... kind of excited for Wrestlemania? It isn't the card so much as anticipation of a hardcore smark crowd getting to react live to shit for the first time in a year. I hope WWE fills the empty seats with 80s and 90s jobber pictures. Put Mike Sharpe on the hard cam.

My word, most of the last page of this thread was both confusing and horrifying. What's WAGS? Why is anyone thinking about a reality show with excitement? Make it make sense.