The Iron Yuppie

I'll admit that my exposure to Omega has been very limited, which speaks to J.T.'s point. I only recently signed up for New Japan World, so what I'd seen was limited to the occasional matches aired here in the States on AXS. I'm thinking specifically of a 2015 match with KUSHIDA: Fantastic ring work, but his facial expressions were EXTRA exaggerated and sorta wacky. That and coming to the ring with the broom and dustbin made me think he was a comedy character.

Watched the main event over the weekend, and I share a lot of Sublime's thoughts. I was never an Omega fan -- I thought he came off goofy doing the broom stuff with his Cleaner gimmick. Maybe that was the point, but when I'd read he won G1 (I wasn't subscribed to NJPW World then), I was surprised they'd push a comedy guy as a top heel. He brought it in that main event, though, both with his work and exuding a more serious gimmick. I still need to watch the entire show, which I plan to do without the English commentary. Corino and Kelly were old FMW DVD levels of bad. I'm now an NJPWW subscriber though, so I can finish without having to take Mick Foley's advice and illegally streaming it. Seriously, Mick? Not cool.

Hulk Hogan is the perfect avatar for the social/political climate of the 1980s. The very essence of the character is rooted in jingoism. From the outset, the tone for Hulkamania was set with the title win against the Iron Sheik. Bob Backlund lost to Sheiky Baby because he was unwilling to get down to the base level where Sheik was fighting. He tried doing things the "right" way and it ended with him crying in the locker room. Backlund was an avatar for Jimmy Carter. Here comes Hulk as Ronald Reagan, both guys from Southern California (kayfabe), who were more than willing to label the Soviets, Iranians, etc. evil. And when you're fighting evil, you have to do whatever it takes to win. The ends justify the means. Hulk cheated more than the Sheik in that match. He STARTED the match by fucking cheating. And he crushed the overmatched evil foreigner. The problem with the ends justifying the means is that the simple boundaries of Good vs. Evil are easily manipulated. You get Iran Contra in the real world, and you get Hulk being an unrepentant cheater in wrestling. But, because he'd been clearly defined as "The Good Guy," and his actions are inherently rooted in good, it was OK that he broke the rules vs. Iron Sheik. And against Andre. And against King Kong Bundy (seriously, go back and watch the Nov. '87 SNME, which also has a fantastic Savage vs. Hitman match. Hulk works as the heel against Bundy by almost every standard metric of Heel vs. Face). And, since Hulk was Inherently Good, he could screw Savage and Sid and he'd still be the face. Hulk's not unique in that his persona and status as the top character mirror the national climate. Austin represented the working man, screwed over by Wall Street and corporate downsizing throughout the 1980s and 1990s, rebelling. Had Daniel Bryan not gotten injured, I feel he was headed in the direction of becoming a MEGA star, since he represented the social climate and functioned as an avatar for a growing percentage of the wrestling fan demographics. Now, speaking of current WWE: Aside from being mind-numbingly stupid as an angle, I cannot figure how how the hell New Day are face while being complete pricks to Titus O'Neil. But that's more a product of bad writing than a more deeply rooted byproduct of the characters.

Oregon-UCLA was the kind of game I want to inject directly into my bloodstream. Bill Walton going apoplectic over the students rushing the court added to the drama of the ending.

Dear God, that tope was awful. He came frighteningly close to killing himself. I also noticed Lince has a Chikara tat on his left shoulder, and the first thing that popped into my mind: Legit, or the trade-off for Quack (allegedly) owning all Chikara gimmicks?

Dan Devine offered to make me the starting quarterback at Notre Dame, brother. I got sidetracked on my way to South Bend helping a lady get her cat out of a tree, brother. The job went to some guy named Joe Montana instead, dude. And that's how I founded the band Journey, brother.

I thought William & Mary was part of that crew. Also, I love watching the NEC Tournament championship every March. The atmosphere for those games, at gyms that are smaller than most I played in during my high school days, just seems so unique and fun.

Minimum three, and probably the most egregious of the bunch thus far.

You dumb bastard! It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!

Also, forgiving me for double-posting, but Mac Daddy Santa a/k/a NWO Tiger Woods warrants it.

Who do I give currency to get this on my office wall like now?

Sportswriters are bending over backwards to defend Grayson Allen. GEE, I wonder why. I read one headline asking, "How do we address this?" I don't know how WE address it, but Grayson could probably address the problem of sweep-kicking opponents by not sweep-kicking opponents.

Kentucky-North Carolina...holy hell, what a game. I thought Kansas-Oklahoma in Lawrence was the best game of last season (NC game not included), and the best regular-season game I could remember since the early 2000s. I may be biased having been there live, but I think UK-UNC surpasses that one. Also, T-Mobile is a beautiful arena and great place for basketball. It was packed and LOUD. The NCAA needs to lift its archaic ban on playing tournament games in Nevada, because you put a Regional there, on the middle of The Strip? That joint would be jumping in March.

I was really impressed with how stacked the lineup was for the Las Vegas show. Three title matches (is that customary on NXT house shows?): Roode vs. Nakamura (very good; had a lot of Joe interference); Revival vs. DIY; Ember Moon vs. Asuke. I went with two friends who haven't watched since the Attitude Era and both really enjoyed it. In a sentiment that might never be shared on this board or any platform catering to hardcore fans, one of my friends said: "I loved that guitar guy! (meaning Elias Sampson)" Wesley Blake's shtick got CRAZY heat. Tye Dillinger was the most over wrestler of the night. They paired the two for a segment that got a huge pop. There weren't any surprises on the card. A colleague who had seen the October show in Hollywood told me Kota Ibushi showed unannounced, which got my hopes up. Otherwise though, this was a ton of fun. I'd highly recommend seeing an NXT house show if you can.

Southern California-based trash fed XPW fittingly had some title belts that belonged in the dump.

So I'm going to Vegas for the college basketball showcase at T-Mobile next weekend, and it just so happens NXT is right down the street later that same night. I found out completely by accident, as I'm staying at the casino hosting the NXT show. Gonna be my first NXT experience. I have no idea what the scheduled card is, but don't really care. This could end up being the greatest Saturday of my life. EDITED TO ADD: Speaking of, anyone know where the cards are posted? I am sorta curious how the lineup takes shape.

It's interesting to think how the Xanta Claus debuted (and left) just two years before Steve Austin giving a Stunner to a Santa Claus on Raw. Reason why I find that interesting is I think of WWF in 1997 -- which, as a fan, is one of the best years in company history for my money. They weren't far removed from '95, when the promotion was running wild with goofball gimmicks, and they hadn't ENTIRELY moved toward the Attitude Era. In '97, Raw was still sponsored by Karate Fighters, and the Austin segment with the Santa had him cut a promo saying, "If this isn't the real Santa." That seems like an acknowledgement that a good portion of the fan base was still children, which was completely out the window in a few months when you had Val Venis debuting, Hank The Angry Dwarf cursing in a segment with The Oddities, and so forth.

This reminds me...Perhaps not a popular opinion, and it's in no way a slight on his classic WWF/E calls, but I find Jim Ross on the AXS New Japan broadcasts to be awful. He's working the Podcast J.R. gimmick.

The outlandish backstories they'd give for some of the guys were amazing. Personal favorite: Mike Awesome was an All-American defensive lineman on Dan Devine's Orange Bowl-bound Missouri Tigers. For those wondering, that was the 1969 college football season, and the commentary was on a 6-man tag from 1997, which would have made Awesome about 50 years old on that timeline. That's OK, though. In the 28 years between, he also recorded over 100 jumps as a paratrooper in the Green Berets, per the Tokyo POP team!

La Parka and Silver King vs. Damian and Ciclope in a Mexican Deathmatch on Nitro in the summer of '99. Schiavone and Heenan completely shit all over what was a fun match, wildly different from anything either promotion was doing at the time. Having heard Schiavone in interviews over recent years, I get the sense someone was in his earpiece telling him to crap on this, and I'm guessing Brain was probably 4 or 5 scotches in by this point in the night.

NOT PICTURED: The three kegs of ale and two bottles of vodka Andre polished off

2002 had a lot of WWE matches I really enjoyed, but the one I enjoyed most: Rey Misterio vs. Kurt Angle, Summerslam Rey had just debuted not long prior, and I thought this feud out of the gate was a perfect way to showcase his talent. Other matches from that year in the running for me: - Eddie vs. Rock, RAW in July - Rey/Edge vs. Angle/Benoit, No Mercy - Eddie vs. Edge (No DQ), Smackdown in September

Joke's on you, I legally changed my name to The Iron Yuppie!

That moment? The roided-up old coot who laughs manically at "SPARKLE CROTCH" and poop jokes announces his retirement, and his provably competent son-in-law takes over the monopoly.