Greggulator

Lawler was the worst in the WWE from the jump. Did you guys ever live through the Kiss My Foot era? Memphis Lawler and WWE Lawler are different creatures. Man, all of those times he yelled "Puppies" like some 4th grader who just discovered his sexuality. When was the last time I gave a crap about Christian? I think the time he baited Orton into a disqualification? I've never given a turd about Sheamus. That's not to say the guy isn't good at the actual wrestling part of the game. He is. But the dude is so bad at playing his character. He just doesn't have that part of it down and never will.

Christian and Seamus are good wrestlers. And they've given them a story that started before EC. But those guys can't get their story or their angle over. There are a ton of other guys on the roster getting their stuff over. Why can't those dudes? It's on them.

Mark Henry namedropping Men's Warehouse in his stuff with Cena was aces. What was even better: How easy it was for him to turn back to being a face after the Cena feud was over. I forget who he then got into it with (I think The Shield?) but the crowd was chanting "You tapped out!" and Henry real calmly said, "He'd tap your asses out, too." Great stuff.

I'm not going to vote since I won't have time to watch Mochizuki. But being the biggest Bray fan there is, I just want to point out that in the past five months he has been in some insanely terrific moments and matches. 1) The EC match is on the short list for Match of the Decade. 2) The rematch from last night is one of the handful of best free TV matches of the year. 3) The EC match got a "This Is Awesome" chant before the match actually began. The build to it was so electric and awesome. That doesn't happen without Bray hitting home runs every time he gets to bat. 4) I still haven't seen the RR match but everyone raves about that. That's on my to do list. 5) The angle with Daniel Bryan only served to get Daniel Bryan somehow even MORE over. The crowd aping for Bryan doing the YES! chant on top of the cage doesn't work if Bray wasn't such an epic foil.

The Wyatts vs. The Shield, THE REMATCH -- This was my favorite free TV match of the year. I thought at first this was going to be an edited version of their first match for time constraints -- they got into the Rollins sprint section off the top rope German suplex really quickly. But that became the story of the match. Rollins was attempting to make a hot tag but Dean was off fighting with Bray and a distracted Roman went after him instead of tagging in his buddy. (And in the segment, there was a great shot of Reigns smiling in pure joy watching Rollins work his magic.) And that, right there, might have ended one of the greatest runs of a stable we'll ever see. I can't wait to watch this again.

Yeah, but it still didn't make the final result any less deflating. I could give less of a shit about CM Punk obviously. At least give us the three-way. Everything else was baller. Well, you're supposed to feel deflated when the heel wins. You don't think the WWE wants to have 70,000 people or however many doing the YES! thing in unison to end the first PPV they're selling under their new business plan?

I like that the WWE pre-empted the hijacking by... giving the crowd an amazing show. In the first hour they got: 1) Trolled by Heyman, which resulted in Brock Lesnar tossing Mark Henry through a table and lobbing TV monitors into the crowd. 2) The Usos winning the tag titles (aided by the NAO really bringing the heel work). 3) Another Wyatts vs. Shield classic. 4) Really great Bryan/Authority stuff. And they hijacked the hijacking by building the end of the show to look like Punk making the save... only for HHH to Pedigree Daniel. Awesome stuff.

It's the second best match of the year and the second best free TV match. And we had Cesaro/Cena and Cesaro/Sami and about 500 other things I'm thinking of. It was just incredible wrestling storytelling from start-to-finish. The Shield wants revenge but their togetherness has waned. But in order to make The Shield finally implode takes a ridiculously chaotic match and a cult leader mastermind to figure out the code. Ambrose is too hotheaded to control. Reigns has too big of an ego. And Rollins -- the one true teammate -- gets beaten up in a wrestling match and can't tag out because of their personal issues. He wanted them to work it out without him... and his plan failed. And now he's helped tear the group that made him a star even further. I liked the PPV match better because the layout of the match was just absolutely fantastic, with three acts and each one having a terrific payoff. But this was as great a TV match as we'll ever see -- crazy action, amazing execution and all done to transition from one epic story (Wyatts fight The Shield for supremacy) to another (The Shield breaks up.) A+ Yeah. Everyone was concentrating on Ambrose and Reigns, and suddenly Rollins is the really tragic character. And it's so great they added that depth to him. I actually think he might walk out of this as the biggest star of the lot. All three of those dudes are great. Roman has the look and charisma. Dean's an awesome loose cannon and has "next Roddy Piper" as a ceiling. But Seth? Man, the dude's so great in the ring and can play fired up face and prick heel. He could be the Jeff Hardy we always wanted but never actually got, especially since girls love that dude.

It's the second best match of the year and the best free TV match. And we had Cesaro/Cena and Cesaro/Sami and about 500 other things I'm thinking of. It was just incredible wrestling storytelling from start-to-finish. The Shield wants revenge but their togetherness has waned. But in order to make The Shield finally implode takes a ridiculously chaotic match and a cult leader mastermind to figure out the code. Ambrose is too hotheaded to control. Reigns has too big of an ego. And Rollins -- the one true teammate -- gets beaten up in a wrestling match and can't tag out because of their personal issues. He wanted them to work it out without him... and his plan failed. And now he's helped tear the group that made him a star even further. I liked the PPV match better because the layout of the match was just absolutely fantastic, with three acts and each one having a terrific payoff. But this was as great a TV match as we'll ever see -- crazy action, amazing execution and all done to transition from one epic story (Wyatts fight The Shield for supremacy) to another (The Shield breaks up.) A+

This was golden tonight. Great show. The Punk trolling was great. I guess he did quit. They did a terrific job, though, of manipulating the crowd to not ruin the show -- just an epic letdown of the hometown hero not returning. The Shield/Wyatts match was another fantastic match. In any other year, it'd be a MOTYC. But their Rumble match was better just due to time constraints. If this is indeed the last Shield match we ever get, then they left it by breaking up after losing in one of the greatest feuds in the past few years and in two of the best matches in a long, long, long time. Usos were great, too. I hate the NAO but good on them for going full heel.

The pre-show rules. The company gets content distribution. I hate the NAO but they just talked about their match with The Usos (!) and it was a great obnoxious undeserving champ promo. More of that and I can get behind those dudes.

That's apples and oranges. I don't think Lorne Michaels comes in on a Saturday morning and tells everybody "Tonight's show isn't funny. Write something else." Yes. He does.

Question: Why does "Raw is getting rewritten" get mentioned at all in wrestling NEWZ~ stuff? Saturday Night Live has been broadcasted live for 30 years. They rewrite until the minute the show starts. They have a live final rehearsal where they determine the last sketch to get cut and, after that, still work out some lines depending on reactions at the dress runthrough. Factor this in with Raw -- They don't have a dress rehearsal. It's just "Here we go, it's live." It'd be a story if they weren't rewriting until that close to the show.

Inspired work.

I think this is all pretty awesome, actually. I love basketball to an unhealthy degree. The NBA is the best basketball in the world. But college basketball has the best atmosphere in North American sports. The crowd's are what makes it fun. It's a new form of kayfabe. Who cares what they chant as long as they chant? I get upset when I heard Husky Harris because I love Bray so much. But I am totally fine with crapping on Orton vs. Batista, even though I actually like Orton. But either way, the crowd is invested and that's the point.

Not No More Bo. KNOW More Bo. The dude has been on fire on NXT. It's such a terrific character right now. The NXT announcers rightfully get lauded but they've missed a key component of Bo -- he does these little dickish things to win his matches and no one realizes it. Turnbuckles magically get untied. He rolls back out "accidentally" to avoid a 10-count. And the entire time, he does it with a smile on his face. It's great because he does these things but then has this weird defense mechanism where he still believes he is a hero. He clearly has no self-awareness and thinks he's an idol of worship when everyone thinks he's a total tool. But he also has this great denial of ever doing anything wrong, when he's clearly a sneaky and sly bastard. He's also surpassed Drew McIntyre in the "use every part of the ring as a weapon" category. He's superb at that -- sneaky apron pulls, ramming backs into the ring, the aforementioned turnbuckle-related usage for victories, etc. He wrestles like he's this sneaky in-ring genius. Bo's a true joy to watch. His promos are great and his ring work is a blast. One of my favorite guys in the world right now.

Christian is great. I always like watching Christian matches. They're always smart and well-built and fun. His match against ADR at SummerSlam was terrific. But I look forward to Uso matches. I am emotionally invested in seeing those guys get the titles. They've been a huge part of the best part about Raw -- fill up those three hours with lengthy, high-end matches. They have one of the coolest entrances. They also serve a need as being really great, believable babyfaces. They also always add some sort of electric moment with their great dives -- I really love their dive/tag-in spot. Usos. It's a good battle but the future is now!

CM Punk making his return right before Shield/Wyatts is the best possible version of events. It will get the hottest crowd possible lined up for a rematch of one of the best matches of the decade. I hope that match gets the entire last hour. It deserves it. The Shield starts its breakup next week while Cena returns for Bray's head on a pike.

The best part about pro wrestling is the crowd is a character in the show. I can't get up and scream during Death of a Salesman and tell Willy Loman to put the gun down. But I can certainly do that when HHH has the sledgehammer or what not. That's what makes wrestling special. The crowd is and always has been part of the product. Working the crowd and getting them to respond to what you're doing has always been what wrestling is about, actually.

Catching up on Smackdown now. 1) Shield vs. Wyatts continues to be the best. I love the Shield interaction. Rollins RULES in this storyline so much. All three of those guys are total studs. Dean and Roman, though, are easy to understand. Dean's the loose cannon. Roman's the next great WWE beast. But Seth? Man, they've never done a "glue guy" thing like this to my memory. He's the Scottie Pippen of The Shield and has breakout written all over him. Bray's promo about Cena was such a great next step. This was Bray really upping the whole class warfare part of his motif, which he touched on a lot in his early promos about the working class walking upright and all the signs we're forced to obey. John Cena's the walking version of the billboards and advertisements that influence us to live a life where we work hard to earn money for nothing of substance or value but to further mirror the billboards and advertisements that influence to start with. Yet we vilify the man who sees through that lie for daring to tell us that we are living in a world of lies. That wasn't a promo. That was a work of art. It works because there is a lot of truth to it. John Cena is our so-called hero -- the man whose shirts we buy whose face is used to sell chain-store sandwiches. John Cena's billed as a hero and the man we think we need, but he's a false idol, a golden calf, as Bray called him on Twitter. I can't believe no one else is bugging out about that promo. Oh my. Imagine if two years ago someone were to tell you that there would be a three-person stable led by a man with delusions of grandeur and thought he was a reborn Christ and used Marxism and socialism in his theology? This stuff is the most complex, thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating work in wrestling history. Period. The great stand-off continues. I love Bray gloating when HHH tells The Shield to stand-down. Love Rollins and Ambrose ignoring those orders and diving onto Harper and Rowan. And even though he's surrounded, Bray laughs at their faces. They can't hurt him. No one can. He speaks the truths we don't want to hear. And he knows his truth will conquer us all. This is great. And, oh yeah, their match on the PPV was a Match of the Decade candidate. And there's a rematch on Raw. And, depending on what happens with CM Punk, it could be in front of one of the hottest crowds in ages. 2) Batista telling fans to stop working at Hot Topic was great. The dude is such a hatable goof. I hate a lot of his material -- his fake knee-slap was the worst -- but I like this Batista a lot better than every other Batista.

Did you guys see the Solomon Crowe promo that leaked with the rest of the training videos? The package and entrance was great. The dude's promo was AWFUL tho. Great idea for a character but not sure if he could have done it justice. Keep things simple.

This year has been so great so far! Let's talk about matches! The good ones! 1 WYATTS VS. SHIELD, ELIMINATION CHAMBER: I wrote about this here. The actual "workrate" part of the match itself was fantastic -- perfect execution, pacing, etc. But beyond that was character work at its perfect. There were so many stories-within-stories and callbacks to past matches and the like. Also, The Shield has maybe a year-and-a-half on the big roster. The Wyatts have less than a year. These six guys came up through the WWE's new developmental system, which has places such an emphasis on each performer having a character and playing to that role. Not everyone coming up will be able to have matches like these six had. But the days of "good wrestlers without much of a character" aren't for long. This isn't the end. This is the beginning. One of truly great matches in WWE history, and I mean that. 2. CESARO VS. SAMI ZAYN, NXT ARRIVAL -- So great. Fiery Sami Zayn looks for respect against a guy about ready to join the true elite of the WWE, if he hasn't already, in an absolute war of a rematch. 3. CESARO VS. CENA, RAW -- Cesaro holds his own against the ace of the promotion, who wins by having to find a new way to hit his death finisher. 4. CESARO VS. ORTON, Smackdown -- Cesaro breaks out in a big way against the petulant brat champ, wins the respect of the WWE audience as a true and total force. 5. CESARO VS REGAL, NXT -- Not sure if this is 2014 or 2013 but whatever. Cesaro and Regal work a match without running the ropes once, and it looks as brutal and nasty as any hardcore match ever. Amazing change of styles. This is just to get started. I didn't put Bray/Bryan yet because, er, I didn't see it yet. I also have to go through the stuff that's happened on Raw and Smackdown. But LET'S DO THIS!

Trying to think of what it would have been like if The Wyatts/Shield rematch was tonight instead of on Monday...

In my version of hell, the only wrestling match available on the WWE Network is Too Cool vs. The New Age Outlaws

I love Survivor so much. When my wife and I were watching, we immediately knew Team Brains were going to self-destruct. The brawn team has a built-in athletic advantage. And, not just that, but people who are physical usually have some sort of team sports background -- ala Uncle Cliffy. And, not just that, but they all seem to have jobs where you have to work for other people and/or aren't running the show -- like cop, etc. And not just that, but a cop's skills are so street smart that it plays well for Survivor. There's strategy with investigation but it's immediate strategy and not long-term risk management kind of stuff. Team Beaty would just be vapid enough to work well together. All it takes in that group is one person who can think on their feet a bit to steer them. That dude Brice has that kind of edge about him where he can play angles and figure it out. But Team Brains -- Man, all of the bad parts about gifted children are on display there. It's so great. Arrogance/no social skills/etc. That second tribal council was so entertaining. What a dimwit that dude is. I also love that the Miami Marlins dude was the first to go. You'd think someone whose job is based around nurturing relationships via negotiations would try and bond with people and play the "we have to make a hard choice here" card.