DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 1012014! RAMPAGE BROWN! THE SAMOAN BEAST!

[DEAN]

DRIVERETTE 1012014

I consider it a challenge towards the whole human race.  Though I do lose quite a bit.  Here we go.

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  MR TOMO vs RASCAL FUJIWARA- PRO WRESTLING SHI-EN- 6/1/2014:  I should just review all 46 PW Shi-En matches that sit in my Watch Later list month after month, growing tired and scared, wondering if they will ever be watched.  Today is your lucky day, one match from the stack!  Do your mat magic, Mr Tomo!   PWS sets up the ring in the middle of a pedestrian mall. I'm guessing- I don't see a Panera Bread or anything- and how awesome would it be for Mr Tomo to powerbomb Rascal through a sunglasses kiosk.  Mr Tomo is awesome because he wrote his name down the leg of his pants, thus allowing me to skip the tedious search on the PWS site for his picture.  He's right there!  Whip ass!  Rascal kicks him in the head alot.  Oh geez, Rascal isn't afraid to smack a forearm into the teeth of the beloved DVDVR favorite- Mr Tomo.  Mr Tomo rewards our love and admiration of writing his name on his pants by delivering the most indie of indie things:  Over rotating on a sidewalk slam and driving Rascal directly onto the point of his shoulder.  Ah, is it really an indie if someone doesn't land on their shoulder all wrong?  Mr Tomo also really gets psyched playing it big when procuring the chinlock.  It's kinda like what you loved so much about the WOW trainees back in the day.  Becky the Farmer's daughter didn't have any offense to speak of but she really got into the three dropkick variations she could pull off.   Tomo is like with his 68 kicks to the back and stomach.  His offence goes from A to B, but he is playing to the back of the room with his kicks to the stomach.  Rascal is flashier- hitting a really nice somersault into the corner and a really nice snap suplex.  They trade really nasty looking forearms in the middle of the ring (especially considering how really basic the offense has been) that Mr Tomo wins by hitting the sweet old school Vertical Suplex for two.   They do some nearfalls and you really suspect that these two would not be out of place wrestling 7 times in two days in Orlando putting over Ciclope and Galaxy in 1998.  Rascal's finisher is pretty fucking great- a superstiff running elbow to the face.  Total World Wide Point.  I remember now why I watch Shi-en Pro. 

 

******************* LUDARK SHAITAN vs LA MAGNIFICA- XTREME WARRIORS COATEPEC- 5/31/2014:  I follow the career of the Mexican deathmatch youngster and Silver King niece or trainee or something- Ludark Shaitan. She's not afraid to wrestle in the  sketchiest buildings in Mexico and post the results on the internet.  So here we are.  I know I've seen La Magnifica but God knows where.  Ooo, it's a cage match.  La Magnifica looks like a lady trying to pass herself off as Marty Jannetty in 1987- which is pretty awesome when you think about it.  Ludark Shaitan dressed for a cage with the blue jeans and white t-shirt- sorta like a really hot Mexican chick dressing up as Atsushi Onita.   The ample crowd starts a "LOO-DARK" chant as she begins her first ascent to the top of the cage- but crashes to the mat when La Magnifico catches up to her.  She tops it off with a very nice powerbomb of the Ludark Shaitan.  They punch each other in the face and you can't really tell how good they are because the cameraman is filming this like he has been stabbed in the back.  They do a lot of those 90s ECW shitty chair spots that ruined Tijuana Lucha for a long time- so it's pretty hard to watch for a variety of reasons.  There is a pretty nasty second rope Spanish Fly which I don't recall ever seeing.  Ludark hits a nice running powerslam to get enough time to get to the top.  Then she does an awesome Ode To Brandie Chastain and takes off her shirt and throws it into the audience- which is fucking AWESOME!  WOO-HOO!   After hitting the floor, there is some kind of pull apart with more chairs and stuff.  Watch this more for the ambience than the actual match- as you have to wonder what the crowd to this match gets up to after the main event and they hit the streets.  And also watch because of the Sudden Sports Bra Moment!  MEX-I-CO! MEX-I-CO! MEX-I-CO!  WOO-HOO!      

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ THE SAMOAN BEAST vs ALEX REIGNS- REALITY OF WRESTLING- 6/2014?:  Booker T owns a promotion in Houston and I always mean to get around to watching it.  I start with this!  Stevie Ray accompanies the Samoan Beast and I join you hoping for the RETURN of the word FROOTBOOTY!!  Samoan Beast is a fat boy- but an athletic fatboy.  Let us look him up at cagematch.de.  Wow, he's 40 years old.  He's 6' 5" and 370 lbs.  Alex Reigns is from Houston and is 27 years old.  And Reality of Wrestling has been around since 2006.  I need read the Internet Wrestling Community more.  Reigns attacks his behemoth opponent early.  Oh man, this is definately Booker T's deal because they work stiff as fuck.   Reigns gets in some stuff until the Samoan Beast fucking crushes him with a fatboy Backdrop Driver.  Then he procures the Samaon Nerve Pinch.  I haven't seen a nerve pinch in forever.  Reigns gets in some more but the Beast hits a fucking NASTY FULL FATNESS Samaon Drop where he actually drives his shoulders through Reigns when he hits the mat.  Reigns grabs the ref's arm to stop the count.  The Beast hits ANOTHER.  This one just as fucking gnarley.  Reigns crawls out of the ring and the Beast hits ANOTHER on the floor- but luckily it wasn't the full Samoan Drop that he does in the ring.  GOTT DAM.  Watch those Samoan Drops.  Maaaaan.  Squashy and beautiful.  No frootbooty though...

  

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ DARRELL ALLEN vs RAMPAGE BROWN- 8/30/2014- IPW:UK:  God, looking up this match on Cagematch.de makes one realize that there are a thousand Rampage Brown matches that haven't hit the internet yet.   This is the final of a tournament in the hilariously named town of Snodland, Kent.  Your ring announcer is a quite striking young lady who is old enough to be my older niece.  I am ever so old and get reminded of that at moments like this.  Darrell Allen I don't believe I've seen before; he is 5'7" and 167 pounds.  I assume Rampage will destroy him at some point.   Or maybe he will destroy him early.  Brown establishes that he is far more powerful by flinging Allen around when they try to lock up.  Allen uses the technique of of slapping him in the face like a little bitch to get Rampage to chase him!  So they take it to the floor and- after so nice clubbing forearms by Allen- Rampage throws Allen through a row of chairs.  The crowd is squarely behind Rampage- which is strange because Allen is 5'7. 167 and has a bad shoulder- so it's funny that they just get irritated at Allen's offence and comeback and cheer when Rampage fucking annihilates him with a clothesline.  Rampage beats on him around the ring to lead up to a sweet elbow drop.  Rampage then take Psicosis shoulder bump through the ropes to the post to the floor allowing the evil tiny guy to get some meaningful offense in- though it pretty much adds up to ten crappier forearms and some stomps that he doesn't lean into, leading up to nothing in particular.  He does a cravate to allow the crowd to start a RAMPAGE chant and Allen FINALLY embraces his role as diminutive heel and yells at the crowd.  Rampage continues selling the 90-US-Indies-level comically light offense of Allen.  God, it just kinda goes on.  Man, after 8 minutes of Rampage selling the non-assbeating, the crowd pops for Brown's dropkick and I freak out to his Powerbomb.  Allen goes back on offense after hitting a spinning savate kick after fighting out of a Brainbuster with a roll-up and then a Cobra Clutch and then a ref bump and then a visual pin?  Does Darrell Allen own this promotion?  Then!  A Rampage lariat and visual pin and then the ref wakes while Rampage a camel clutch.  and then it cuts off.  I think there is two more falls but I don't think I want to see them if they suck as much ass as this 18 minutes.  Yoi.  That wasn't good.  No. Not at all      

 

TOMORROW:  That Thatcher match that Schneider has recommended to me.  He knows what I like.

[mattdangerously]

Samoan Beast also does a pretty nifty Lionsault.

[DEAN]

At 370, I gotta see that.

[Curt McGirt]

I just read the Panera Bread line as a commercial for them was on TV, heh.

[Rev Ray]

I think Reality of Wrestling got rebranded in 2012.  I remember when Booker T first set up his school, he was trying to get WWE to pick him up as a developmental territory but they went with FCW.  I remember that rumor that Booker was kind of hot about it because he was investing in cameras and production stuff and they decided to go with FCW which was barely ready because Johnny Ace liked going to Tampa so he could go partying after the shows.

 

but yeah, that Samoan drop looks amazingly deadly.  I'm not sure i've really seen someone come down at an angle like that on someone.  Samoan Beast looks like someone who would be in a midcard WAR six-man.

 

And since Booker T shows up on the Wrestling Compadres, they mentioned Stevie's on twitter now:  https://twitter.com/TheStevieRay

[mattdangerously]

 

Couldn't find a match where he hits the Lionsault, but here's the Beast murdering a couple of jobbers, with some quality heeling by Stevie Ray. (After the match, you see Stevie take a sign from one fan, and rip it up. What you don't see is that he then walked across to the other side of the arena and threw the torn sign in the face of my buddy's 12 year old son, who's been heckling stevie Ray for months.)