John E. Dynamite

I can't imagine how rough it would be if JR hadn't called years and years of big NJPW matches. But I don't have to imagine, because thank goodness he did.

Penta smearing his young daughters' faces with blood hugs is the most lucha libre shit I've seen in my life.

I want to draw special attention to the phenomenal jobs done by Bryce and Aubrey in the Miro/Kingston and MJF/Jericho matches. Bryce's positioning and timing during the turnbuckle gaff and low-blow were as precise as you could ever ask for and drew REAL heat. AEW waiting this long to run a true Dusty finish was handled perfectly and Aubrey's reactions and registering of the moment shows a subtle sort of talent that's very hard to teach. Quietly stupendous, the both of them.

A buffet of pro wrestling luxury. I'm stuffed. Good lord.

No-brainer if you ask me. Kenny's probably going over, there's a possibility of a Hangman Page comeback pop but nothing's going to come close to the biggest single thing you can do in wrestling right now. The X factor would be that Punk's untested in the ring and might not be able to go at a main event pace. But if they don't go on last, I'd guess it's because Punk personally requested not to. This is a card with a ton of high points and I'd like to see QT/Show or maybe even Mox/Kojima slotted in as a cooldown or a sprint, respectively. Completely possible that MJF/Jericho sucks the air out of the crowd, I hope none of those three matches go back-to-back, and I do like the idea of Mox/Kojima as the opener.

I'm only cool with this if Darby goes over. And yes, they will run rear naked choke nearfalls with Punk too often.

Gonna finally finish up Death Stranding by the end of the weekend. I'd love to harp more on its themes and vibes n all that but I have a more important point to make - the game is a lot more fun if you play it like a idiot. There's probably a thousand reason why so many gamers bounced off the first 10 hours, but one of the hangups HAS to be how the game never forces you to dick around via weird missions or challenge levels. It gives you a cornucopia of tools to work as laterally and creatively as you want, but it's entirely possible to do everything by the book and miss out on so much stuff. I know somebody who quit after getting past the first map, and when I mentioned the standard overworld black-goo boss fights, they had no idea what I was talking about. I get that you're supposed to sneak around BTs all carefully, but a lot of people just assume it's a game over ? Likewise, I wish there were more story missions based around speed. Force careful players to jet across the map in 5 minutes and they might realize it damaging your cargo a little isn't the, uh, end of the world and it can be fun to crash and burn. Every time I saw a MULE camp I started chucking cargo at their heads, I never stealthed it. I couldn't imagine how much time that would waste - but there isn't a "run over every orange-pilled Amazon junkie with their own car" mission or "how to launch a container of resins at a dude" tutorial. For a game where death is pretty negligible, I get the feeling a lot of people didn't realize the futility of playing it safe. Certainly, plotting a careful course and flexing your noggin is the right call for some missions. But you really haven't played it until you've tried to go all Wages of Fear and drive a truck with a nuke in it down the side of a cliff. It looks like the PS5 Director's Cut has a lot more stupid gadgets like catapults so I'm hopeful for future players.

Somebody fucked up my car's lane sensor in the Honeygo Shopping Center last year when I was getting tacos. Total hit-and-run, White Marsh is mall hell. Great tacos, though.

Nia needs to go to Japan and wrestle nasty old Joshi bitches who have no reason to put up with her.

If they pay you more money.

And yet none of them really work a bang-bang PWG Main Event kickout festival style, save for Hangman. In fact, he's the only guy to really be featured anywhere like RoH or NJPW. The WWE has opened up a chasm in their talent budget, there are 50+ less people being paid, of course they want AEW guys. This new business model happens to double as a great smokescreen, it seems. I'm not saying everybody's going to take the deal, but if you think they're not going to wave money at some guys, you're living in a world you'd rather live in instead of the one that exists.

You at least attempt to "overpay" some guys that look like they'd fit. MJF, Wardlow, Hobbes, Both Pages, Griff 'n Brian Jr., Starks. Those are the only people I'd expect them to go after in the men's ranks. Maybe Anthony Bowens or the Bears. I'm not in any way implying they're gonna sign Jack Evans for a million bucks and a truckload of cigs to crush the enemy's backstage morale.

Comparisons to the NJPW dojo are not totally on-base. Okada was trained by Ultimo Dragon in Mexico, Ibushi by MIKAMI in DDT, Shingo by CIMA and Animal Hamiguchi, Naito and EVIL both started out w/ Hamaguchi, hell, the last 1000% NJPW trueborn to hold the IWGP Championship that wasn't Tanahashi goes allll the way back to Togi Makabe. Even Satoshi Kojima was a Hamaguchi guy first. Which brings up a really good fuckin' point and something WWE is going to have to realize again when their current strategy fails/gets changed by the company being sold or Vince's heart exploding - they had it right before. Having affiliated trainers and further-reaching developmental strategies went really well for them. Not even the OVW days, but back when they had Dory Funk and Memphis getting guys into shape and figuring out their gimmicks. This is your Animal Hamaguchi. Then you send the guys to NXT. This is your dojo/Young Lion system/finishing school. Fuck, they already have this with EVOLVE and Sapolsky and they just forgot on account of COVID. There's also the other feeder fed they have, the one that never gets brought up. The money WWE is sitting on will be thrown at expiring AEW contracts. We don't know what WWE's strategy is going to look like outside of their instantaneous poaching of Ben Carter. Who's to say they won't be bloodthirsty? "No indy guys, we'll just overpay for talent Tony got TV-ready for us." And does WWE really think it's overpaying if it hurts a competitor?

Half the AEW roster would try to get Danzig to say "JEEEZZZUS" while holding a weed whacker.

It's definitely a French to Japanese to English thing, then. @Jiji's "Knuckle Arrow" call was actually what I was trying to think of when I was writing it. Did Ex ever call a running knee to the body a Kitchen Sink?

I feel like we're minimizing the potential of a certain kind of gimmick based on the fact that prior gay gimmicks were played by and booked by people who had no clue. There are lots of gay people who embrace and feel comfortable expressing the more flamboyant and evocative side of the culture. There's nothing wrong with big, performative queerness if it's something you personally vibe with, Effy and Sonny Kiss being the first two examples in wrestling that come to mind. My bigger worry is that Vince + Co. prefer their homosexuals flaming in the worst way and lack a track record that leads me to believe they could present that kind of storyline tastefully. Stan Hansen comes out and tells you he's got to feed his big, fat husband, then we've made progress.

Shamelessly ripped off of the Sherdog forums (of all places)- Brandon Moreno beat Davieson Figureido Davieson Figureido beat Joseph Benavitez Joseph Benavidez beat Henry Cejudo Henry Cejudo beat Marlon Moraes Marlon Moraes beat Jose Aldo Jose Aldo beat Jeremy Stephens Jeremy Stephens beat Rafael dos Anjos Rafael dos Anjos beat Anthony Pettis Anthony Pettis beat Michael Chiesa Michael Chiesa beat Carlos Condit Carlos Condit beat Nick Diaz Nick Diaz beat Robbie Lawler Robbie Lawler beat Melvin Manhoef Melvin Manhoef beat Mark Hunt Mark Hunt beat Derek Lewis Derek Lewis beat Francis Ngannou According to MMA Math the current UFC Flyweight Champion beats the UFC Heavyweight Champion

Tanahashi had to stay in Japan because champ Shingo has COVID and they had to run a new main event.

They followed up their biggest moment ever with a totally low-stakes Dynamite. This dragged. I don't get it.

He is technically a wrestler after all. Promoter of 100+ wrestling shows. Friend and benefactor of Terry Funk. edit: this is the longest version of the Funk/ICP story I could find https://faygoluvers.net/v5/2013/02/violent-j-speaks-on-3-wrestling-legends/ Yes, clicking this means you will have a website called faygolovers in your history.

Best wishes to phenomenal father & payer of professional wrestlers Violent J as he has announced his retirement from touring due to heart failure.

The amount of motherfucker in this match is astro-motherfucking-nomical.

I find Schiavone's incredulity over "Ace Crusher" interesting until I realize it's me, not him. Eddie Kingston is part of this lost generation of wrestling fans who probably came up like me, watching 90's AJPW tapes and playing import wrestling video games. It's a known fact that Excalibur was a member of the Fire Pro edit-sharing community, I think he ran a website? He calls moves like he's reading them off a Fire Pro Wrestling CAW screen and Eddie does it too. I swear I've heard Excalibur call something a "sole butt", which I'm 90% sure is a mistranslation of "sobat" or "savate" unique to the FPW games.

Man, just throw Lance Archer into a quick feud so we can get a top-shelf Suzuki-Gun running wild for a few weeks. Obviously I'll miss Despy and Taichi but I'll take Lance/Suzuki/ZSJ vs. any trio AEW could throw at them.

Elgin vs. Jericho vs. El Generico