Technico Support

Owens would job because GODDAMN PAL LOOK HOW VASCULAR COLE IS

I have no idea what this means but it's awesome. It reads like you had a stroke mid-post. (DDP probably would've carried the stupid angle with Elizabeth claiming assault on 1/4 better as well.) DDP definitely has more of a sexual predator or a "I'll slap a broad" vibe to him than Goldberg.

If you push just hard enough, new muscles just pop up! I remember when Angle was popped for steroids for like the 10th time and his agent came to his defense, speaking out about how clean Angle was. This is Angle's agent:

Baltimore is so bad they're even left out of GojiColin's analysis of 0-3 teams. At first I think, maybe they can beat the Steelers since Roethlisberger is out? But then I remember they lost to the Raiders. Fuuuuck.

"Michael Cole's Mons Pubis" was high on the list of things I absolutely did not need to see today. It is an excellent band name, though. Also, when your "trainer" looks like this: you probably had a little "help" reaching your fitness goals.

Oh shit yeah I forgot about that. The box in the middle of the ring for all matches. What the everloving fuck? Seriously I need to know what the dimensions of said box were to be. Was it going to be a huge box like the one wrestlers would pop out of from time to time, or a small one so Johnny Mundo could do douchey parkour shit off it? Maybe there was supposed to be a Campeon del Crossfit title where the guy who did the most box jumps wins the belt and has to defend it against other bros. Was there supposed to be something in the box? Was there a payoff or just a box in the middle of the ring for no damn good reason?

We should probably never take ourselves to seriously, me included, when discussing how creatively bankrupt the Hollywood remake/sequel machine is. Because every once in a while we get Fury Road and all is forgiven for about 5 minutes. I also liked all the Terminator sequels.

Pretty sure Dave's wife has been tuning him out since sometime in the mid 90s.

Punk's Homicide impression sounds like Fred the Elephant Boy

Add Jaggers to the "guys I forgot I saw in person" list. I saw him in the mid-point of his career, teaming with Dutch Mantell in Crockett as The Kansas Jayhawks. I was only 12 so I couldn't really discern a good hand from a bad one back them, but there ya go.

The idea that adapting a book to make a film is somehow more artistically valuable than doing another shameless remake/reboot/reimagining/sequel to a film is laughable. Really, what's the difference between adapting a book and continuing a franchise? Both come from the same cynical place: Hollywood execs looking for a surefire hit by adapting a property that already has an existing fanbase. Why build an audience when you can buy one? There is no difference between making another Men and Black, another Nicholas Sparks adaptation, Avengers 4, or Perfect Strangers: The Motion Picture. It all comes from the same unimaginative, risk-averse strategy. People lined up for Star Wars Episode I and The Hunger Games equally.

Apologies if this has been posted already: X Files commercials

50 Shades of Grey Every future dystopia chosen one YA novel written in the past 10 years Essentially any garbage books that become a trend will get made into a movie, so be careful what you wish for.

More like Jimmy Valiant. As a matter of fact, before their duel, Vader was overheard saying, "Brother, I ain't gonna bump for ya. And if I fall down help me up." Makes sense until you consider decrepit, aged Yoga briefly flying around like (insert luchadore here) in the 2nd film using the power of the Force.

People live in Wyoming/The Dakotas/Montana?

Needs a Mike Rotundo guest spot so we can have The Captain and Tenille. I'm so sorry.

Sure but the lightsaber fights in the prequels are an anachronism. I guess Lucas thought acrobatic ninja flippy lightsaber duels looked cool and now had the technology to do it and thus couldn't resist, but then fast forward to in the timeline to the original trilogy where duels are more methodical and I guess we're supposed to believe the art of lightsaber fighting devolved.

You're right, I forgot all about that. Been a while since I read "Crystal Lake Memories."

I didn't have the fortitude to rewatch it but from what I recall, isn't it some pretty egregious false advertising? From what I remember from seeing it as a young'un, shouldn't it have been called "Jason on a Boat with Maybe 15 Minutes in NY?"

Finally saw Mad Max this weekend, which led me to this

On the "Friday the 13th series playing right now of SyFy" tip: I have FiOS, so my program guide shows posters in the film listings. The poster used in the guide for Jason Takes Manhattan is actually one of the banned "I (heart) NY" ones. That's awesome.

Well they're in L.A. so "go to the desert" might mean Palm Springs. I thought Reuben Blades' character was going to torture that soldier strictly through Old Man Stories. Jesus Christ this fucking show. Charismatic Black Tuxedo Dude is the best character on the show and he was just introduced in the penultimate episode. It's weird hearing Elizabeth Rodriguez speak without the New York Latino accent from OitNB.

THIS

This. There have already been at least two posts with dudes hoping Asuka stiffs and injures her. FFS. See, Asuka is from Japan and thus is a "real" worker who will get revenge for us and uphold the good name of wrestling. Between misogyny, psychotic disdain for a subpar worker and irrational love of Japan, we're well on the way to winning smart mark bingo.

Please play that on loop at Cornette's house until he has a coronary