Technico Support

WIthout doxxing myself too much, I was doing some judging for youth sports last night and someone came to me with a DQ slip asking who to give it to. I started looking around and said "where is the referee?" It took all I had to not segue into "HE TRIED TO FUCK ON ME!" On my first day training, I was temped to yell I'M GONNA CALL IT RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE DADDY, and obviously making the "call it down the middle" hand sign.

I wasn't familiar with Mistico's theme and the edibles were kicking in, so hearing this Mexican slow jam befuddled me. I don't know how Turkish hair transplants work. Does it grow back after you shave it or do you need to go back to Turkey to get it redone?

The great thing about any kind of storytelling is that, when done right, it’s supposed to be obvious or at least things are supposed to end up where the setup is leading them. It’s not like a murder mystery ends when a heretofore unknown character shows up on the last page and says “oh yeah I did it.” A few years of Russo really damaged us as fans. Brody King and Hangman are the best. AEW is the best. God damn.

Can’t win em all!

Somehow I forgot "You have a black BELT? Well I'M A BLACK BITCH!" I don't think Brandi has done anything in WWE, has she? There was a rumor for a while that the Cody/TK split was at least partially over Brandi losing TV time, but in retrospect there's no way that's true.

I haven't seen The Wire and it's probably severely outdated by now, but between Ray Donovan, Reacher, Jack Ryan, Banshee, and The Walking Dead, I've probably seen the whole cast in something or other.

Keep that kind of talk quiet. Some useless studio exec will start dreaming up a musician shared universe series of films. Do we need Rami Malek playing Freddie Mercury again? We do not.

@Dolfan in NYC hits this shit out of the park every week.

My favorite Brandi memories are 1) Brandi's steadfast policing of the timing of Open Mic Night, as it is incredibly important to remind everyone when it is and is not Open Mic Night. 2) Brandi explaining the Nightmare Collective vis a vis the organizational chart of the Nightmare Family as a whole. All that was missing was a PowerPoint. Honorable mention: Brandi telling Ethan Page in a promo that AEW only hired him in order to get to Josh Alexander. A fucked up thing to do to an employee in public, and probably not even true (Alexander said on this week's Hey! (ew) that AEW turned him down early on).

I'm waiting for a cool Page figure. Aside from the "a night at Bob's Country Bunker" figure that you referenced, there's a Target exclusive fig but 1) I stopped shopping at Target and 2) the head sculpt sucks. He's just SCREAMING.

The best wrestling related use of that meme I ever saw was in 2020-2021ish: "Southern indy promoters getting their Covid stimulus, thinking of booking the Rock n Roll Express"

https://i.imgflip.com/9xoghl.jpg

Look at me. Look at me. I'm the champion now. I collect AEW figures of just the guys I like or the ones that look cool. My wife bought me the Malakai Black figure but she bought the one with the wrestling tights and cool accessories, because I told her "please don't get me Business Casual Malakai Black."

I was a few lines into the review and confused over the distinct lack of winged serpents and Richard Roundtree.

I'm really picky, I guess. My evaluation of them them, in all its nitpicky stupid glory, is as follows (and bear with me because it's probably been 15 years since my rewatch) 1: it's not even Jason doing the killing, though it's a decent film 2: it's Jason, but no hockey mask? Pass. 3: 3D gimmickry, gets the hockey mask halfway through 4: really good! 5: Fuck all this, it's not even Jason, just a copycat 6: Jason is back and now he's a zombie. Pretty good. 7: Telekinesis bullshit 8: He's not in Manhattan until the last reel. It's really just Jason on a boat. 9: This is the one that's like The Hidden, where Jason is actually a demon slug that possesses people? So fucking far off the rails. If you told me this was produced by Kassar/Vajna/Cocaine, I'd believe you. 10: I guess this is alright. More of a campy sci fi spoof. I loved the Crystal Lake VR sequence.

His protest about having to burn the bedclothes and the bed itself after Django is allowed to stay at the big house is amazing. And when he turns off his step-n-fetchit act and you see his actual cunning, when his twists Candie around and you realize Stephen is the one in control, it's absolutely incredible.

I don’t think that would stop them. I think it’s because 1) Russia isn’t trying to sportswash yet and 2) Russia is really poor and the only people who could afford tickets in TKO’s “forget regular people; just target the whales” strategy are the oligarchs, but they’d expect comps.

A very quick search of the USPTO shows WWE owns the trademark for “intercontinental championship” for toys, merch, etc. but nothing else as far as I can see. In the same search result, it appears Zuffa once had a TM for “Baddest Motherfucker Championship” but they let it lapse.

Maybe! So that could be where he got it from. Never trust a kid.

That reminds me of my favorite apocryphal example of bowdlerization of films on TV: as a kid, one of my friends swore Regan McNeil said "YOU MOTHER SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL" on the TV broadcast of The Exorcist. You'd probably like Django a lot, as ALL the bigots get what's coming to them. It's a really good movie. On the minus side, Tarantino put himself in the film, as well, and does a laughable Aussie accent. BUT it's a very short part and he gets blown up by dynamite, so take that as a win. I'll have to time it next time I go with a stopwatch like Green Lantern Fan, but I can definitely tell you that, at the actual film's listed START TIME, my AMC shows probably one or two more commercials, ALL the trailers, a Coke commercial, a promo for AMC's laser technology or some such bullshit, CG looking Kidman telling me all about HAHTbreak, a PSA telling everyone to shut up and turn off cell phones, one or two assorted random things, and finally the movie. Pretty damn sure it's at least 20 minutes. It's been well over a decade since I've seen it, but I seem to recall it was passable enough and inoffensive. I'll raise your HAWT TAEK and say it's probably better than a bunch of the original series' films.

My daughter has gotten into horror and I find myself explaining to her, to the horror (ha ha) of my internal 80's horror kid, that Friday the 13th is really not a good series. I think the 4th and 6th are the best but aside from those, oof is it rough. We already experienced the 80s horror movie law of diminishing returns when she was so disappointed with Elm Street 4 and I was like, "yep, this is what they did back then. Keep making worse sequels until the franchise dies." YES! So glad you liked it. For my local AMC, we just plan to get there the time it says the movie starts. Because now that's when the trailers start. If you don't much care for trailers, you can seriously get there 20 minutes after the posted showtime and have 5 minutes to spare. AMC absolutely has one PREMIUM~! commercial right now, and has been for quite a while, between trailers and Nicole Kidman looking like AI art Nicole Kidman telling us how heartbreak feels good in a place like this. It's been a spot for Coke since I've been going to my local AMC.

This week's Hey! (ew), with Josh Alexander, was really good.

My reviews can't touch Dean's. I'm more like "it tasted good" or "it was not good" or "it was okay." Then again, which of us could hold a candle to the great one? At the same time, at least I'm not going on about "mouthfeel" or "lacing" or telling you what kind of glass I decanted my swill from like some Beeradvocate douchebag. Beers of the last two weeks: Dogfish Head Summer Doppio Imperial Pilsner: really tasty Pils but I wouldn't consider it "imperial" at only 7%. To me, imperial is like 8 or higher, the kind of thing I'll look at and say, "I plan on drinking 4 beers while grilling dinner on Saturday, so this is not the best idea." So 7% is a nice spot where it's strong but it won't knock you on your ass and ruin movie night with the family. Definitely recommended. Sierra Nevada Summerfest (shout out to Jeremy Piven!) Lager. I don't know what I was expecting. It's a lager. It was okay, a little malty but kind of bland. Better than a macro lager but that's not saying much. Maybe I'll pick up some limes and make the best of the handful I have left. Modela Negra: drank one at a Mexican restaurant, as one does. "Large" size on tap, served in a chilled mug with a big ol' slice of lime. Really nothing better with a nice plate of Mexican food in a shopping center. I could hear the "Ecstasy of Gold" playing as a narrator described how I am a "fighter" at life. Strongly recommend, but only under these exact circumstances.

1) There are those trailers you feel like you’ve seen forever, until you’re just like “when is this shitty film finally coming out?” How to Train Your Dragon is that for me. I swear I’ve seen the trailer before every kid’s movie for a year. 2) These studios can just rotate animated —> live action & CG remake —> back to the animated —-> repeat forever and just print money. The greed and cynicism is actually impressive.

I somehow found Moon Knight to be worse than Secret Invasion. I think it’s because Moon Knight felt like a bait and switch. All the promo stuff looked badass. Look at the main screen promo art right now of Moon Knight looking menacing, pulling on that glove, shit’s about to go down. Then we got Poe from Star Wars doing a cringeworthy, OTT, borderline shameful portrayal of mental illness I guess, and he’s only badass Moon Knight once in a while. It’s like Ang Lee’s Hulk, a tone deaf joyless misfire that misunderstood the assignment and only reached comic book joy in brief spots. But hey, it had a talking hippo, so all the OMG SO RANDOM LOL folks gave it a pass.