Gorman

First match signed for the House Rules show in Troy, Ohio this Saturday: Blackpool Combat Club's Mox & Claudio vs. The Firm's Lee Moriarty & Big Bill. https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/tag-team-match-set-for-aew-house-rules-live-event I offered to drive to the show and do commentary for future digital content.

Everyone will be well-dressed.

Thoughts on The 3-Way Dance Stevie Richards told the Broad Street Bullies that if they lost, Raven would fire them. Then Stevie brought out The Pitbulls to destroy the Bullies. The Pitbulls abandoned their burgeoning popularity and pledged that they would win the belts and hand them to Raven. Stevie had another surprise for Raven: Beulah McGillicutty, who was not as "fat and disgusting" as Raven had remembered from when she attended summer camp with teenage Raven and Tommy Dreamer. Raven battled Dreamer, but Stevie decided to plant a kiss on Beulah, who slapped him. Stevie attacked Beulah, but when Dreamer came to her rescue, it was a setup! Beulah squirted hairspray in Dreamer's eyes, leading to Raven scoring the first of many wins over Dreamer. Best fan sign: We Want Raven's Blood (that's supposed to be red) Spoiler alert: they got it. Mikey Whipwreck continued to be the James Bond of ECW. Instead of just pinning Mikey, Ron Simmons had to chokeslam him twice and then get disqualified for chokeslamming the ref. Of course, this brought out 911. Simmons actually chokeslammed 911. When several wrestlers came to help, 911 said thanks by chokeslamming them. Eddy Guerrero looked fantastic in his win over 2 Cold Scorpio, avenging brother Hector's loss to Scorpio at Return of the Funker. Ian Rotten entered the hair vs. hair match against his brother looking like he had already lost, as his head was 80 percent shaved. Axl won the match and finished the job. Of course, Ian gained control of the scissors and attacked Axl, because this is the feud that will not end. Woman lit Sandman's victory cigarette before he could win the ECW title from Shane Douglas. But Sandman did not prove to be the Red Auerbach of wrestling. Woman slipped his Singapore cane to the Franchise, who used it for the win. Sabu no-showed the biggest match in ECW history. The fans were not pleased. They popped huge for his replacement, Rick Steiner. He and Taz suplexed everyone. They were the first team eliminated, but they beat everyone up again before they left. Benoit and Malenko seemed to have the win in the bag, but The Public Enemy rallied for the victory. Even though the Pitbulls attacked them after the match, Rock & Grunge became three-time champions and the MVPs of this show.

Thoughts on Return of the Funker The Pitbulls (without any Jasons) opened the show with a squash win. The fans were on their side and the superbomb was getting over as a finisher. While the masked Jason wasn't on the show, another guy in a weird mask attacked Hack Myers and caused him and Mikey Whipwreck to lose to Paul Lauria and manager Jason, who was wrestling more often. Before facing his brother in a barbed-wire baseball bat match, Ian Rotten ran to the ring and grabbed the bat from the guy who was trying to attach it to the pole. Brilliant! This show should have been called "Return of a Lot of Old ECW Guys." Stevie Richards brought back The Broad Street Bullies to help Raven battle Tommy Dreamer. Cactus Jack's mystery opponent in a surprise box was DC Drake. So we get to the end of the show, and before we can liken it to "In Your House 12: It's Time (to watch everyone but Vader)," Terry Funk also pops out of the surprise box. ECW kept trying to build up Shane Douglas as World champion by pitting him against former WWF and WCW stars like Road Warrior Hawk, 2 Cold Scorpio, Tully Blanchard, and here, Marty Jannetty. For surviving this challenge and spurning Woman's invitation to join Funk and Sandman in attacking his former training partner Cactus Jack, the Franchise is the MVP. Not only that, but the Franchise's Triple Threat group collected all the gold. Malenko already had the TV title when he and Benoit won the tag team belts from Sabu & Taz. Before the match, The Public Enemy talked too much smack about Benoit & Malenko because with Rocco in a wheelchair, they were sitting ducks for an attack.

They are having a "Reach for the Sky" ladder match to determine new champions while Mark goes after the TV title.

He probably played the WrestleMania game for Nintendo with Bam Bam Bigelow cartwheeling all over the ring, and said, "That's gonna be me someday!"

He's got the six-man title, so in a way, he's already there.

Call me crazy, but I think Athena could be a huge star like Becky Lynch, who got over by essentially being Stone Cold Steve Austin.

I agree. Jim Cornette calling me an idiot at Wrath of the Racket was one of the best moments of my career.

Thoughts on Double Tables Rather than teaming with his Pitbulls in a six-man match, Jason brought out another Jason (a scary one in a hockey mask). After their win, Hack Myers beat up his partners, The Young Dragons, who gave him almost no help during the match. Tommy Dreamer beat Stevie Richards, but the real confrontation was already looming with Raven. Mikey Whipwreck overcame a "Giant," but it was actually Paul Lauria, who was smaller than he was. Bad Breed explodes! Axl Rotten absolutely destroyed his brother Ian, but Ian put his feet on the bottom rope for the win. Tully Blanchard failed to grab an elusive World title when he lost to Shane Douglas, who was happy to score a win over Ric Flair's buddy. After mastering the Singapore cane match, Sandman tried to beat Cactus Jack in a Texas Death match. Bad idea. Cactus dropped Sandman on his head until he stopped sitting up like The Undertaker. Chris Benoit became the first wrestler to win the MVP award in WWF, WCW, and ECW. He won a suplex-heavy battle with Al Snow. Then after Sabu & Taz won the belts from The Public Enemy in the Double Tables match, Benoit put members of both teams through a table. Not only that, but he and Dean Malenko had joined Shane Douglas in their own Horsemen-style group, The Triple Threat.

Maybe the QTV thing has something to do with the Factory dissolution.

Once in Steel City Wrestling, we had a crooked referee (Chris Wood) who did a fast countout. Mark Madden said, "What happened? My life just went into fast forward!"

They are my favorite to announce too. In addition to Danielson-Doug Williams, I announced an Iron Man match for IWC with Christopher Daniels vs. CM Punk. When I found out that the audio got messed up and I had to call the whole match again, I was happy.

No - he wants to win the WWE title, which his dad never won

Yes, I announced his Iron Man match with Doug Williams in the main event of Scramble Madness. AmDrag won 1-0 with a fall at the 18-minute mark. The match went 30 minutes. Superb match, of course.

Come for the new stuff ... stay for the old stuff.

Thoughts on November to Remember 94 The guy playing the "extreme national anthem" Hendrix-style didn't do a bad job! Too bad he got chokeslammed by 911. The Pitbulls beat Bad Breed, but the Rottens' post-match dog-collar attack satisfied the fans who were chanting "We want blood." 2 Cold Scorpio beat Mr. Hughes, who popped right back up after the pin (again!) and cut a "This is my house" promo. Tommy Cairo mocked the recent blinding of The Sandman, only to be destroyed by Tommy Dreamer, who was wracked with guilt for causing Hak to lose his sight. Shane Douglas retained the ECW title with a win over Ron Simmons, only to have Scorpio join Simmons in a post-match attack. The Franchise raised the stakes by calling Sensational Sherri on the phone and also announcing that he would team up with "Stunning" Steve Austin. Dean Malenko didn't put his TV title on the line against Tasmaniac, but he won the match anyway with a chloroform-soaked towel. Is that one of his 1,000 holds? Sandman is the MVP for faking his retirement AND his blindness to attack Tommy Dreamer. He even suckered his estranged wife Peaches into giving him a kiss before he revealed the ruse. Before they became masters of the tables match, The Public Enemy specialized in the "baseball bats are legal after someone scores a 10-count" match. They regained the tag team belts from Cactus Jack & Mikey Whipwreck. Why was Chris Benoit called "The Crippler"? Because he dropped Sabu on his head after one minute, ruining another main event for a big ECW show. The wrestlers tried to salvage the ending with a big brawl, followed by a Benoit-Scorpio match that ended in a double-countout.

My wife and I both start with a J, and our kid starts with a G --- so I think it's just a personal preference for each couple.

Paul Wight usually buries Sterling on commentary, so maybe Smart Mark found a loophole in the First Amendment.

That's deep.

Thoughts on Hardcore Heaven 94 The fans sided with Hack Myers after his breakup with Rockin Rebel and cheered him (or "Shah"-ed) him on to an upset victory. Chad Austin's mini-career renaissance continued with an upset win over Tommy Cairo. Jason wasn't Chad's manager after the whole "throw away the TV title" thing on the last show. In fact, Jason went right out and won the TV title from Mikey himself. The Pitbulls caused Jason's win, but then the immediately got wiped out by Tazmaniac and Jimmy Snuka. 911 only knew one move, but it was enough to beat Mr. Hughes, who popped up immediately and rolled out of the ring in disgust. 911 celebrated the biggest win over his career by chokeslamming poor Angel two more times. Tommy Dreamer finally stepped up to the hardcore plate, even though he was disqualified in his Singapore cane match with The Sandman. Dreamer hid under the ring before the show so he could sneak-attack Sandman and laid him out with the cane. After he was DQ'd, Dreamer caned ring announcer Bob Artese for delivering the bad news. I'm surprised that's never happened to me. Bad Breed scored a 10-count on ECW tag team champions The Public Enemy, but that only meant that the baseball bat could come into play. TPE scored the win. Before we start handing them another award, Rock & Grunge need to go to the penalty box for ruining the main event. It was Terry Funk vs. Cactus Jack in a show called Hardcore Heaven, and TPE interfered after about five minutes. 2 Cold Scorpio blew everyone's minds in his ECW debut, just like he did in WCW. For surviving all of Scorpio's aerial antics and winning the match with his own crazy style, Sabu is the MVP.

I would love it if the announcers would call the Buckshot Lariat when Logan Paul does it ... even though the WWE Universe isn't supposed to be aware that a guy named "Hangman" Adam Page exists.

Just like quarterbacks. I used that line in my upcoming WCW book when they have the WCW title and the "International World title."

I would love to do live commentary for the bowling event, only for Jake to grab me from behind by the shoulders and take my microphone. (From This Side of the Mic, Version 2, Chapter 17) Sometimes, (my daughter) will come up behind me and give me the Jake Grip, and I'll say, "Ahh! It's Jake the Snake Roberts!"

Thoughts on Heat Wave 94 Everyone but Mikey Whipwreck seemed to be allergic to the TV title. Chad Austin hired Jason as his manager and won the title - only to falsely accuse himself of using brass knuckles? The decision was reversed. I've seen some inexplicable things in wrestling (e.g. Undertaker rising from the grave ... both times), but this is near the top of the list. After the Singapore cane problem on the last show, Sandman and Tommy Cairo had a "dueling canes" rematch. Sandman won, and then he and the fans reminded Cairo to pay his bills. I'll have to research what they mean by that. Shane Douglas made a strong case for MVP. He went into his "battle for the future" title defense against Sabu with Mr. Hughes in tow to neutralize 911 and Angel to counter Paul E. Dangerously. So which style would prevail: Douglas' wrestling or Sabu's insanity? Sabu answered this question by smashing himself into a table and getting counted out. After the match, bodyguard Mr. Hughes allowed 911 to chokeslam the Franchise right behind his back. Hughes' application for the Bodyguard Hall of Fame keeps getting lost in the mail. The Public Enemy is the MVP. First, they had the guts to defend their belts against the Funk Brothers in a barbed wire match. Then, they survived Terry's invitation for the fans to bury them in a pile of steel chairs. Finally, they were smart enough to use wire cutters, wrap Terry up in the wire, and both pile onto him for the victory.