SirSmUgly

And in 2000, which I think is what Technico is talking about, correct me if I'm wrong. I think Sabu was having a pay dispute with Heyman and claimed he was free of his contract because Heyman breached it by not paying him for his work in a certain amount of time.

I was expecting to be more into AJ Styles's short WCW endgame run than anyone else's, but yeah, Jett/Money was a ton of fun over those last couple weeks of shows. Does Matt Borne's Doink run in WWF '93 count, or was it too long? The same question goes for Brad Armstrong's '85 Mid-South run.

IMO Sabo vs. Disco Inferno in 1995 WCW is sublime. Sabu had a top-three "cup of coffee" run of all time in '95 WCW.

I sense that I already know the answer to this question, but I'll ask anyway: How much Detroit is preserved on tape?

That'll be a great source for in a couple decades when I retire and spend my time getting a post-grad degree in sociology or anthropology because I'll need it to help write my pro-wrestling focused thesis.

World War 3 ‘95 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1112547 It’s time for the Royal Rumble except somewhat worse! As a quick reminder, the big gold belt is on the line in the World War 3 match because it was held up as a result of the ending of Halloween Havoc’s main event. Hype video to open the show: If I was mind-wiped and was not able to remember actually seeing one of these WW3 battle royals, I’d be pretty excited by the concept. Tony S. and Bobby Heenan once again make up our commentary team, which is fine, but everything’s better with Dusty Rhodes! Tony S. picks Hogan to claim the title; Heenan splits his pick between Randy Savage and the Giant. We’ve got other matches, including a return match from the previous month between Lex Luger and Randy Savage and a Kensuke Sasaki U.S. Championship defense. Silly-ass promo: We cut to Gene Okerlund, who stands with Randy Savage, Sting, and that goof Hulk Hogan. Hogan tears off his black clothing – the subtext is pretty amazing here – and goes back to the red-and-yellow clothing that marks his complete uselessness as a WCW talent. Then, he burns a representation of the Observer because Dave Meltzer prints whatever the hell anyone tells him without actually checking things with multiple sources. Hogan is like MELTZER SAID THAT SAVAGE WAS HURT AND THAT THE GIANT WOULD WIN THE BIG GOLD BELT TONIGHT, BUT SAVAGE IS PHYSICALLY FUNCTIONAL BY THE STANDARDS OF A PRO WRESTLER’S TYPICAL HEALTH AND ALSO WE CHANGED THE FINISH, SO THERE, BROTHER. This was a strange promo. I don’t think anyone at the time thought that Hogan dressing in black and losing his mustache was meaningful or interesting, much less upon rewatch three decades later. They also probably didn't read the sheets! Recap of DDP and Kimberly having relationship issues, part one: Diamond Dallas Page has abused Kimberly one too many times; Kimberly tells him that she’s putting herself up as a prize against Johnny B. Badd’s TV title because she’s feelin’ really unappreciated, he’s takin’ her love for granted, baby, and she doesn’t know how much more she can take from him. She tells Page that he wouldn’t recognize a “10” if it was staring him in the face. Page looks baffled. You could at least bring her breakfast in bed once or twice, you dunce! For the second straight PPV, Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) and Johnny B. Badd open the show in a contest for the WCW World Television Championship. This time, Kimberly’s got an escape route out of her managerial contract with her unappreciative husband as well since her managerial services are also on the line this month. Page and Badd tangle early; after Page slaps Badd on a break in the corner, they hook up again and tumble to the floor, where things go poorly for Page. He retreats back into the ring and jumps Badd upon re-entry, but Badd scores two on a crossbody and then two more on a Samoan drop. I like the pace here, but Badd goes right into a headlock. I’m a Marc Mero truther. I think he’s a ton of fun and legitimately became a good worker, but he relies on working spots out of headlocks and arm wringers a bit too much. It’s not like he just sits there or anything, and when he’s got a good series of spots (as with the arm wringer/hair pull spots from his DDP match at Havoc ’95), I dig what he’s doing. However, he’s not consistent with being creative out of those spots. They in fact transition from headlocks to arm wringers and do hair pulling spots again, but at lower effectiveness than the previous month (though Page yelling SHUT UP, YOU BIMBO at a Badd fan who is insistently rooting him on from her spot in the crowd was pretty great). Badd gets to his feet and eventually sends Page to the floor before slingshot crossbodying him. DDP’s in trouble, so he gets out of a jam the way a true scumbag would: He sacrifices Kimberly, shoving her right into Badd to spark a transition back into control. The match heads back to the ring, where Page lands a back suplex and then kills a Badd counter-headscissors attempt with a slam. DDP calls for a “10,” but Kim’s still upset about the whole incident where Page shoved her into Badd and won’t give him one. Page in heel control is excellent television, which I think is maybe so obvious that I didn’t even need to write it. I actually think this control segment could have been longer, as we only get a couple of creative and well-timed cutoffs before Badd dives out of the way of a Page corner charge. Page posts himself and then whiffs on a follow-up kick besides. Page does land a right hand, but he blindly ducks down after whipping Badd to the ropes and gets kicked, all of which culminates in a proper babyface comeback. Said comeback is very good, especially Badd avoiding Page’s discus lariat and hitting a nice one of his own. He calls for the “10” after that one and gets a “10+,” which looks more like an ESRB rating than a score, but whatever. Badd follows up with 2.9 off a sit-out powerbomb; the crowd is audibky displeased with the cadence of Nick Patrick’s count and seems to wordlessly vocalize that it should have been slightly swifter. DDP manages to back elbow his way out of trouble; his leveraged pinfall attempt only gets two, and he follows up a tilt-a-whirl side slam with a casual cover that almost gets him counter-backslid for three. Alas, Badd’s reversal only gets two, and Page is up and stomping away at Badd. He shoots Badd in once more and eats a counter headscissors; Badd quickly tries to slingshot splash Page to finish him off (I don’t remember this signature move being called the Badd Mood, but Tony S. names it as such both here and back at Havoc); Page gets knees up, though. A Page struggle gutbuster gets two, and Page manages to stop Badd from gaining anything from a leap behind on a DDP powerbomb attempt by elbowing him. He doesn’t, however, stop Badd from reversing his Tombstone attempt, though Badd only scores a two count after landing it. No matter, though! Badd throws a Kiss That Don’t Miss, knocks Page to the floor, and follows with a seated senton on a wobbling Page for two; he tosses Page back into the ring and follows that up with a slingshot legdrop that earns a three count. That was quite the onslaught of offense to finish Page off there! Kim looks a bit shocked by the result, but she ends up hugging the champ. It gets a surprisingly loud pop out of the crowd, who I think was into these two as an on-screen couple based on some of the reactions they got here and that they got on those Nitros in the aftermath. This match wasn’t as good as the Havoc match, but it was good enough to add to a playlist. Gene Okerlund shills the hotline (The WWF steroid scandal is going to flare back up!) before interviewing Badd and Kim as they walk back up the aisle. Badd respects women, and you should too, kids at home! He even tells Kim that he’s glad to let her go do something else if she prefers because he’s not holding a woman to a contract. Kim appreciates the support, and maybe DDP should have been paying attention here considering what happens with those crazy kids in 2000. Badd plans to add another belt – the biggest, most gold-colored one - to his collection later tonight in the main event. Hacksaw Jim Duggan jumps Big Bubba Rogers in the aisle and batters him with taped fists to start their Taped Fist Match. What I get a kick out of is that he’s also brought the 2x4 with him; it is strapped around his neck with a piece of rope. He plans to use the board on Bubba, who begs off, and you know what Bubba throws nice punches and this match is fine so far. In fact, both men throw a number of punches and engage in lots of ringside brawling. They go from ring to ring. There’s a fun little creative spot where Hacksaw wedges Bubba’s neck between two posts from separate rings and then dislodges him with a punch. At the point that Duggan whiffs on a double axe from the apron to the floor and eats guardrail, I’m generally okay with this bout. It’s not what I typically want to see, but the fans seem to like it, and it’s pretty well worked for what it is. I usually prefer Bubba to Hacksaw, but Hacksaw’s opening shine segment was pretty energetic, and I sorta dug it. When Hacksaw Duggan decides not to simply go through the motions and stick to his tired routine, and when he doesn't insist on taking 70%+ percent of every match he's in, he can be pretty entertaining. At various points in 2000 and 2001, he was a net positive on WCW television, which I think supports my current position on him. Bubba tapes Duggan’s left wrist to the rope, and then they do a spot that looks terrible where Bubba bounces off the ropes and runs headfirst into Duggan’s outstretched right fist. I get what they were going for there, but it looked awful. Duggan manages to backdrop a charging Bubba to the floor as well; the ref unties Hacksaw, and he goes back to work on Bubba. Duggan lands a slam and a lariat, but, aw man, VK Wallstreet walks to ringside holding a chain. Duggan manages to cut Wallstreet off with a 2x4 to the gut, but Wallstreet manages to fling the chain to Bubba, who wraps it around his fist and tees off on Hacksaw’s forehead. That keeps Duggan down for a ten count and earns Bubba Rogers the knockout victory. I wouldn’t quite call this good, but it was easily watchable and had a couple of entertaining spots. Bubba gets the last entertaining spot of the night in, exiting the ring near the commentary table and yelling TELL ‘EM HOW GREAT I AM, BOBBY before stumbling away victoriously. It's back to Gene Okerlund, who interviews Ric Flair. Flair is cavalier about his matchup with the enraged Sting, at least if you ask me. A significant contingent within the Norfolk crowd thinks that Ric Flair kinda rules. Flair is bullish on his chances of winning the big gold belt in the big three-ring battle royal later tonight. A night before they get on my good list because of a Nitro match, Mike Tenay joins the commentary desk to help call Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto (w/Sonny Onoo). The thing I like about Nakano and Hokuto is that they are very mean bullies in the ring. For example, Hokuto deliberately walks Ozaki to the ropes while wrapping her in an abdominal stretch and holds Ozaki’s hand out as near to Suzuki as she can before slapping down Suzuki’s hand herself like the complete dick that she is. The heels beat the crap out of Ozaki, who manages to DDT her way out of trouble and hit a hot tag to Suzuki. Maybe the biggest pop in this match happens when Suzuki manages a half-crab on Hokuto, and when Nakano tries to break that up, Ozaki cuts her off and also half-crabs her. Norfolk was like WHOA, DUAL HALF-CRAB SPOTS RULE, and they’re not wrong! The next time that Suzuki wraps a half-crab on Hokuto, Bull just lariats her off the move. Suzuki and Ozaki get their wires crossed on a team-up attack and hit one another; Bull lands a powerbomb on Suzuki, but whiffs on a moonsault and eats a series of top-rope double stomps, the last of which gets two for Suzuki. The babyfaces are feeling their oats and try a double vertical suplex on Nakano, who blocks and reverses that. A quick tag from Bull to Hokuto bears no fruit, as Hokuto whiffs on her dive. The babyfaces dispatch of Bull for a brief moment and set Hokuto up for a double superplex, but Nakano recovers and drags them from their perches on the second rope by their hair. Bull holds on and stands them up for a Hokuto top-rope crossbody that lands. The heels both shoot the babyfaces into the ropes, and the babyfaces reverse into stereo ranas before landing stereo dives. Ref Pee-Wee Anderson finally clears the illegal women out of the ring; Ozaki and Hokuto are the legal women. They trade nasty suplexes. First, Ozaki hits a bridging half-nelson suplex for two, and right after that, Hokuto dumps Ozaki high on her neck with a German suplex. Nakano tags back in after that and tries to take out both women, who duck her clothesline, but don’t duck Hokuto’s second-rope missile dropkick that takes them both out. They go to the floor, where Nakano holds them in place for Hokuto’s somersault senton from the top. Geez, man, the heels are unloading. Right after that, things go back to the ring where the heels hit Ozaki with a Doomsday Device that again dumps Ozaki on her head. That should be it, honestly. That was a nasty flurry of offense that should wipe anyone out. I think it’s a mistake that Suzuki makes the save at two on the resultant cover. However, the heels dispatch of Suzuki and then set Ozaki up for a fucking guillotine legdrop from Nakano that decidently ends the match, so I'm ultimately fine with the earlier save. That match was extremely fun! Though thinking about things, Ozaki may have sacrificed her spine to entertain me, which is a sobering thought. We swing things back to Gene Okerlund, who shills the hotline again (WHO’D WE SIGN, WHO’D WWF SIGN?!) before interviewing Lex Luger and Jimmy Hart. This squirrely little bastard Hart hypes his client before Luger stares into the wrong camera while he promises to put Savage out of the main event by destroying him in their singles match that comes before it. He also, wouldn’t you know it, thinks that he’s going to be the new world’s champion. Chris Benoit is now in the Four Horsemen, and he’s also going to wrestle for the WCW United States Championship. The new champ, Kensuke Sasaki (w/Sonny Onoo) is one of those weird champs from this period whom I always forget held this title. One Man Gang is the other one. On another note, I am asking myself which of the following is more of a nagging annoyance to me: The chyron spelling his name Kensuki Sasake or everyone on commentarypronouncing his name KEN-SUE-KEY? I think it’s the latter because WCW’s chyron game is typically so bad that I half-ignore the chyrons at this point. Speaking of strange things, here's another sort of strange thing around this time: Benoit becoming the fourth member of the Horsemen with no real build-up. He is in these vignettes where he shows up in Atlanta to sign with the company and then – boop! – he’ssuddenly in the newly-reconstituted Horsemen. Maybe some of that build was off-loaded to Saturday Night. I haven’t seen 1995 WCWSN in the three decades since it aired, after all. (Mini-digression: I stopped to watch Sting lose the U.S. Championship to Kensuke Sasaki in NJPW, which happened shortly before this show. Sting fucking dove over the corner post on a dead run to hit Sasaki with a diving crossbody on the floor. I knew that Sting was a stellar athlete, but that spot still surprised me. Maybe I simply don’t recall him doing it much in the U.S.? I actually got a bit of a Hogan-in-Japan feeling from both that and some of the leveraged leg work he uses on Sasaki, including a nasty legbar in which he posts his boot right into the back of Sasaki’s knee and cranks back on the leg. The match is a solid one that is only somewhat marred by noticeable timing issues between the two in a couple of spots, but the fun of it is watching Sting adjust his work to his New Japan audience. I will continue to bang the drum that Sting is, in fact, underrated as a worker by the most knowledgeable fans online.) Benoit and Sasaki have a slow opening full of hammerlocks and knuckle locks and struggle and strife over who shall get the initial upper hand. Sasaki decides to dispense with all that and throws clubbering forearms and a couple of hard body slams, the latter of which gets two. Sasaki immediately goes into a chinlock. Benoit tries to confuse Sasaki with his agility, but all his leapfrogs and switches merely get him press slammed. Finally, Benoit manages to leg toss Sasaki to the floor and follow with a wild-feeling suicide dive. Why not spend some time out here, Benoit presumably thinks, as he uses the apron as a weapon to attack Sasaki’s back with before tossing him back in the ring at six and scoring a snap suplex for two. Benoit settles into a rest hold while Onoo joins the desk. We watch Onoo talk for a bit and don’t see how Sasaki escapes the hold; by the time we cut back to the ring, Sasaki is landing a powerslam for two. Sasaki tries a vertical suplex, but Benoit leaps out and hooks Sasaki for two rolling Germans; Sasaki back elbows his way out of a third and snaps off a nice running lariat to put an end to Benoit’s comeback. Sasaki looks for a Tombstone, but hasn’t he been watching the matches? This went poorly for DDP a couple of matches ago, and it bodes just as poorly for Sasaki. Benoit reverses it, drills Sasaki with a Tombstone of his own, and then goes up for a diving headbutt that only gets two because Benoit scrambled his own brains upon impact (is it kayfabe? is it a shoot?) and delayed the cover. Benoit next tries a super Frankensteiner, but that also only earns him a two count. Benoit seems a bit out of ideas (definitely only from a kayfabe perspective, mind you) and throws a few ineffective boots to Sasaki’s gut. Sasaki catches a boot and leverages Benoit up and into a nasty slam, then locks Benoit in an octopus hold. Benoit swings his legs and hooks one around the bottom rope to break the hold. Benoit tries a lariat, but Sasaki eats that for breakfast and lands a vicious lariat in turn. That puts Benoit almost out of it; Sasaki follows up with a brainbuster that puts Benoit completely out of the match and earns Sasaki a three count. This match was perfectly cromulent, but I expected better. I think it’s also weird to job Benoit here when you’re bringing him in as this big deal free agent signing and sticking him in the Horsemen. Jimmy Hart, Kevin Sullivan, and the Giant are next on the list to interview with Gene Okerlund. Sullivan cuts a mostly telligible, coherent promo in which he declares the Giant to be the UNCROWNED CHAMPION. Okerlund tries to stir up dissension in the Dungeon’s ranks by suggesting that Humorous – excuse me, Hugh Morrus – or the Booty Man – excuse me once more, the Zodiac – will want to become the champion themselves. He fails to do so, however. Then the Giant speaks. That’s unfortunate because the Giant says exactly this to Hogan: ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I’M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT TO KALAMAZOO. Terrible. Take a lap. Tony S. does a little promoting for Starrcade ’95, which happened on a Wednesday night because Christmas Eve was on Sunday the 24th that year. If I watched modern pro wrestling, I would love a good Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday night PPV in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Actually, one cool thing that I’ve done before is go to a Premier League game on Boxing Day. I’m sure AEW wouldn’t want to complete with the PL on Boxing Day, but it would maybe be a cool idea for them to find a gap in the winter holiday fixture list and put on a PPV someday, preferably in the UK (I tihnk Christmastime in the UK is the absolute coolest). Feud recap: Randy Savage and Lex Luger have quite a bit of beef, which wasn’t helped by Luger hitting Savage even though they were on the same team at War Games. Luger beat Savage on Nitro (Show #5), but Savage beat Luger at Havoc ’95. Neither win was entirely clean, so let’s see if someone can earn a squeaky clean victory in tonight’s rubber match! Randy Savage interviews with Gene Okerlund; it’s less contentious and not as focused on trading claims of uneven facial hair styling as it was the month before. Savage is a bit tense tonight. Maybe “jittery” is a better word, since Savage uses it. He claims I’M ALWAYS JITTERY; IT’S PART OF MY CHARM. Savage declares that his arm is A MILLION PERCENT healthy because, in his words, [THAT’S] BETTER THAN A HUNDRED PERCENT. Babyface Savage is a lot of silly fun mixed in with legitimate sparks of intensity. I think I’ve come around even to appreciating somewhat dorky heel Savage in 1997, ’98, and ’99. Tweener Savage in ’99 when he comes back with Team Madness is legitimately awesome, too. That match between Randy Savage and Lex Luger (w/Jimmy Hart) is next. Savage jumps on Luger immediately and lands chokes and fists. Savage even shakes off charging into a Luger boot and lands a quick clothesline in response, followed by wrapping on a Boston Crab that Luger breaks because of Savage’s questionable positioning and execution of the move. The match goes to the floor, where the fans tap the guardrail in front of them and demand that Savage bonk Luger’s noggin RIGHT HEEEERRRREEE. Savage obliges for a couple of them, then tosses Luger back into the ring and calls for the finish. He slams Luger and goes up for a Savage Elbow, which scores. However, just as in their Nitro match (again, Show #5), the ref is too distracted to make the count. Savage scores yet another visual three count while Jimmy Hart distracts the referee. Rather than wait for the ref, Savage dumps Luger to the floor to continue the punishment, but Luger is able to launch Savage into one of the ring aprons. Savage clutches his back while Luger rolls into the ring and breaks the count, at which point he rolls back outside and puts Savage in a Torture Rack. Luger only breaks the hold to beat the count; he puts Savage in the ring, flexes, and locks an armbar on Savage’s damaged, Ace-wrapped arm. That gets a submission or a knockout victory, but either way, Luger tries to completely destroy Savage’s arm until Sting enters the ring and convinces Luger to let Savage go. Luger, if you’ll recall from many reviews ago, did the same when Sting wouldn’t let Flair out of the Scorpion Deathlock (Nitro Show #10). The power of friendship really is something, huh? I mean, unless you’re too stupid to tell the difference between your closest friend and someone unconvincingly masquerading as your closest friend even though he’s standing right in front of you, and no, the conditions being dark and rainy doesn’t excuse you of being a dolt, Luger, you idiot. *ahem*, but yeah, friendship is magic. Another feud recap: Ric Flair deviates from trying to ruin Randy Savage’s life and instead tries to ruin Sting’s life for a little while. But will it be Sting that ruins Ric Flair’s chance to become world champ once again? Let’s find out together, reader. Flair enters first, followed by Sting. Flair gets in Sting’s face and tries to intimidate him. He is punched into the next ring, where he challenges Sting to follow him. Sting does and then lands another hard right and a press slam. The crowd is extremely into the proceedings. Sting is massively over as a babyface. I’m sure Hulk Hogan is feeling bad about himself backstage listening to this pop, and I feel great about this! I sure hope he really did feel badly! The likelihood that he did seems high! Flair does get in there with chops. He struts. That gets a huge pop. Everything these two do in these rings gets a huge pop. They’re not even doing that much. I’m not saying that they’re half-assing it, mind you. I just mean that they’re landing punches and chops and taunts punctuated by a bit of explosive offense from Sting, and the crowd is absolutely eating this up. Sting dropkicks Flair to the floor; Flair goes into the third ring and challenges Sting once more. At this point, production cuts to the ramp, where Col. Robert Parker and Sister Sherri are standing. These two lovebirds wander toward a spot on the stage from which they watch the match. Hmm. In the meantime, Sting has joined Flair in the third ring, where he snacks on a few Flair chops before landing a few strikes of his own, winding up a punch and landing it, and then clotheslining Flair to the floor. The long and short of this ringside brawl is that Flair barely escapes a Stinger Splash against the rails, which is the first time all night he looks like he has a remote chance of winning this match. Flair is blocked from using a chair on offense by ref Nick Patrick, but he uses chops and eye gouges to keep control…until he gets back in the ring, where a chop wakes Sting up and Flair has to land a forearm shot to Sting’s twig and berries to avoid being throttled. Flair drops knees on Sting and struts, as is his way. He can get away with it because Sting is too busy trying to forge through the pain in his ballsack. Flair sets up for the Figure Four next, landing an intricate series of moves that target Sting’s kne—oh, who am I kidding, he kicks the guy in the knee and lands a couple of kneedrops. Flair sends Sting over the top rope while Nick Patrick is indisposed so that he can hit some more knee kicks and chops. Back in the ring, Flair yanks at Sting’s lips and is generally a complete asshole. After a back suplex, Flair manages to lock on a Figure Four in the middle of the ring. However, Flair makes the tactical error of disrespectfully slapping Sting, who immediately finds the energy to turn Flair over. Sting follows up with a backslide for two; Flair kicks out, shoves the ref, gets shoved to the mat in retaliation, and then wakes Sting up with another chop. So, yeah, that was a kayfabe terrible sequence for Flair. Flair switches rings again, but Sting has too much FIGHTING SPIRIT to feel the knee injury that Flair gave him; he follows and lands offense until Flair jabs him in the eye. Luckily for Sting, Flair takes ages to go up top. You know what happens next. Sting shoots Flair into the corner. You know what happens next. Basically, it looks all over for Flair, and indeed it is. Sting lands a superplex and then wraps Flair snugly into a Scorpion Deathlock in the center of the ring; Flair submits, and Sting lets him go…and starts limping again as his adrenaline surge is now subsiding since he won the match. Nice touch. Sting is the best, y’know? What a wrestler. Anyway, I really liked this match mostly because 1995 Sting is fun as hell and the crowd loves these Sting/Flair encounters, which enhanced the proceedings. Hype video: How did the first WW3 Battle Royal go from being for a title shot to being for the title itself? Just read my Halloween Havoc ’95 review! And then read the review for the Nitro a couple of shows after that (Show #10), where Jimmy Hart tried some legal fuckery with the contract for the Havoc match that was nullified by WCW’s legal team! I think I like the idea of WW3’s title shot award being given at SuperBrawl rather than Starrcade. It theoretically allows them to choose some out-of-the-way winners because they don’t have to make sure to pick someone who would fit in the main event at their biggest show as WWE generally does. The biggest issue with this type of match is that it’s simply too derivative of the Royal Rumble with its battle royal winner gets a title shot stip. The second biggest issue with this type of match is that, as we talked about long ago in this thread, it’s simply too visually messy to be effective. It's the return of the Big Stinky Giant count, which lands on only one as Hogan shows rare restraint in this promo with Gene Okerlund. It’s still a crappy promo, mind you. It’s just less worse than you’d expect. I also need to standardize the Big Stinky Giant count as a running feature by underlining it in my past reviews rather than putting it in bold lettering. Anyway, Hogan thinks he’s going to win the title, per the theme of tonight’s Okerlund interviewees. Tony S. and Heenan commentate in front of ring number one. Eric Bischoff and Dusty Rhodes have their own commentary table in front of ring number two. Hooray, it’s Dusty! Dusty Rhodes essentially rules hard at everything he does, and yes, that includes booking (in the short term, at least). Chris Cruise is really a bit much over at the ring three commentary table, which he shares with Larry Z. OK, it’s main event time here in Roanoke. I’ll shout out any surprising or weird entrants: Barrio Brother Ricky, for example! Pistol Pez is out here, too. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and Lt. James Earl get in a shoving match on their way to the ring. Huh, Kanyon’s in this thing? That’s quite the early bird cameo ([tm] TV Tropes). Mike Winner, Big Train Bart, Dave Sullivan, both Super Assassins, and another Barrio Brother (Fidel this time, and I assume that’s Fidel Sierra) also troop out here, and I think to myself that this match would be better with more of the cruiserweights who came in by the end of 1996 in it. I can’t even get hyped for a small La Parka run tonight. Instead, I gotta watch Dave Sullivan. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Alright, folks, let’s do this one more time: · The Rumble’s other big advantage is having one person run down at a time so that everyone gets spotlighted. This is just a mass of bodies. · Super Invader 2 (I think) is your quiz answer for who the first man to be eliminated from a World War 3 battle royal was, just in case you were wondering, though Tony S. exclaims that Mike Winner hit the floor first. I’m not sure that he did. This is one to check on that bastion of research integrity known as Wikipedia. · Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair are doing a spot that the crowd is clearly reacting to. I know that Hogan and Flair are involved thanks to Chris Cruise's commentary. However, I can’t see the spot because of the thicket of bodies in the way and the unfortunate choices in camera coverage. · I do think that the announcers excitedly kicking it to one another to cover what’s going on in different rings feels sort of exciting. That’s a neat feature of how WCW is producing this match. It’s not enough to overcome the negatives obviously, but their hurried commentary and tossing it around the horn makes things feel hectic and busy. · But what’s really going on is punch-kick-choke mania. · They’re trying to sell storylines at the tables, including what the Horsemen and the Dungeon are up to and how Sting and Luger are interacting, but it’s too hard to see for me to get attached to any of these narratives running through the show. They get a great shot of Parker and Earl shoving one another after being simultaneously eliminated, though! And of course, no one at the desk mentions this one clear storyline development that has been easy to follow during this main event! WCW, everybody! · Sting helps a Nasty Boy land a Pit Stop on Disco. Disco sells the move exquisitely. · Big Train Bart is eliminated. He was out here looking like a poorly-groomed Mario. · Lex Luger and Arn Anderson fight each other on the floor, but I’m not sure either of them are eliminated. I feel that you should be subject to a ten count if you’re on the floor after going either through the middle of or under the ropes. · Sting and the Giant have their own extended fight in one of the rings; the Giant wins that fight and dumps Sting to the mat, then nudges him under the top rope and to the floor with his boot. That ring, which I think is ring number two, now empties as everyone still legal in it moves on over to ring number one. · Are Arn and Luger still fighting outside from earlier before, or did they once again spill to the floor? Who knows?! · A kayfabe injured Randy Savage (but not shoot injured if Hogan's earlier rant is to be believed) continues to dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge his way through this match. · A bunch of guys go out through the middle rope for some reason. All this floor fighting sucks. I hate floor fighting in battle royals. Keep that shit in the ring instead of having guys getting on the floor willy-nilly. Make hitting the floor a notable event in this type of match, please. · Sgt. Pittman makes the mistake of locking on a submission hold in a battle royal. Unless you’re in the final two, I suppose. He survives it, and in fact is able to easily eliminate Joey Maggs after locking him in a Code Red. That’s textbook Bad Process, Good Outcome stuff right there. · Now Savage and Luger fight on the floor. Luger has spent more time outside the ring than in it in this most busy and poorly booked of battle royals. · Scott Armstrong does a stretcher job, and I have no clue if this is a shoot or a work. · Tony S. points out Luger being on the floor for most of this match and points out that the referees need to quash that shit. Again, a ten count for uneliminated wrestlers on the floor that they must beat or thus be eliminated would solve all this! Also, institute VAR! · OK, on second thought, maybe don’t institute VAR. · Hogan tosses Kevin Sullivan over the top and to the floor; Savage and Luger go back outside to brawl some more. · DDP and Johnny B. Badd eliminate one another; Page stalks Badd on the floor to continue that battle. · Alright, there are sixteen guys left in this bout, all in the first ring, finally. Make it fifteen as Kurosawa gets tossed. · Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff renew their rivalry after a few years; Flair and Sting pick theirs up again twenty-five or so minutes after they last clashed. · Finally, we’re clearing the rest of the detritus: Zodiac goes, followed by Captain General Hubert G. Morrus-Rection III. · Our final ten: Sting, Eddy Guerrero, One Man Gang, Paul Orndorff, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Lex Luger, Arn Anderson, the Giant, and Ric Flair. · Eddy is the featured midcarder in this bout, by the way, which doesn’t work so well since Eddy hasn’t been discussed on commentary much if at all until this point. "This point" at which he gets attention encompasses him eating signature offense from Sting, Flair, and Arn and barely hanging on before finally being tossed. *sigh*, par for the course, WCW. · Shortly after Eddy and Orndorff are both eliminated, Sting slingshots Arn into Flair as Flair teeters on the top rope; Flair topples to the floor and throws a fit, unable to believe that an attempted top rope move backfired on him! Wow, I didn’t see that coming either, Flair! Arn also goes over the top and to the floor after that collision. · OK, the finish is a hot mess. So, Sting and Luger make an alliance to defeat the Giant. They hit a double lariat and then try to toss the Giant over the top. While that mass of humanity is leaning against the ropes, Hogan splits away from Savage, whom he is helping try to eliminate OMG, and tips that whole mass of humanity over. The eliminated Giant casually reaches in and yanks Hogan to the floor and underneath the bottom rope, which the single referee officiating this match misses because he’s too focused on Savage leveraging Gang the rest of the way over the top and to the floor. Randy Anderson looks around, sees no one else but Savage in the ring, and calls the match for Savage, who wins the gold in the shittiest way possible. · We didn’t see Savage eliminate Gang because we were too busy looking at Hogan bodyslam the Giant on the mats. What a bad finish, amplified by the missed shot of Savage eliminating Gang and intensified by Hogan not even going over the fucking top rope. At least have the Giant pull a Stone Cold and come back in the ring to toss Hogan over the top instead of the ref suddenly missing a wrestler going under the bottom rope for the first time all match. Hogan is a crying-ass catchphrase-stealing punk bitch about it, and only a small portion of the Roanoke crowd co-signs his argument that he went under the bottom rope. On third thought, maybe WCW should institute VAR after all. The WW3 match stunk, but otherwise, I am surprised that overall, this show was pretty good. No match was worse than “perfectly acceptable” and a considerable portion of the show was genuinely enjoyable. If you watched this show and then dipped out after Sting/Flair, you’d probably quite enjoy your two hours spent viewing it. I need to look back, but I think this might have been the best WW3 PPV overall, though it probably had the worst WW3 battle royal match as a part of it. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1113009

My copy of Beyond Nitro just got here. Even though I'm in the middle of another book, I'll be doing the old "alternating between two thick books at the same time" deal. Beyond Nitro is over six hundred pages and Lonesome Dove is over eight hundred, and what I really need right now is a summer break, a beach, and a cooler full of drinks.

Congrats. Also, how the fuck did you get a handful pre-ordered? I was lucky with PS5, but I got stonewalled this time around. I'd really like to get mine by launch, so I'm hoping that I'll get an invite in the next week. Obviously, I'll get one eventually. If I can at least get it shipped to me before Bananza comes out, I'll be happy.

I wonder if HOT X-DIVISION OPENERS ever became a legitimate thing for TNA. I've watched TNA television, but never all that regularly except for maybe a short time in 2008-ish. Psicosis and James Storm are a WCW-ass WCW random tag team pairing. Ferrara should have stayed off television, but when asked to make television without Russo's influence, he did pretty decently. The problem isn't hiring Ferrara, it's pairing him with Russo instead of with Terry Taylor or someone of that type who can ground the ideas in the writer's room and put together at least semi-consistently solid television. I don't think the last three months of WCW television set the world on fire, but some of it was very good in a way that it hadn't been since 1998 and immediately raised the floor for show quality. Ferrara as a TV personality is the absolute pits, though. Ken Shamrock never quite got the push that he needed to be a huge star, and that's down to his never working WCW. He's perfect for WCW or the NWA. Not so much for WWF or a Russo-fied TNA. Jeff Jarrett learning all the wrong lessons from WCW's demise because Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara tried to make him a main eventer was the death knell for this company's growth, both at the time and now. They'll always be what they are because they established themselves as low-rent late-era WCW in that first impression. And the second impression. And the third impression. And the fourth...

Halloween Havoc ‘95 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1108332 Halloween Havoc is one of my favorite PPVs in general. It’s one of those shows where the aesthetic was always cool even when the wrestling wasn’t. We’re in Detroit for this edition of Havoc, where something something monster truck battle, something something mummy humping, if my memory recalls correctly. In fact, we cut to the monster trucks revving in a circle on top of the former home of the Detroit Pistons, Cobo Hall. During the show's intro at the commentary desk, Bobby Heenan mentions Friends, which formed the naming convention for the Nitro review titles even though I’ve never sat and watched one full episode of that show all the way through, as a way to talk about Sting getting suckered in by Ric Flair again. Well, not completely suckered in. He knew that he was getting suckered in. It’s just that the little Stingers who were too young to remember the late ‘80s and early ‘90s didn’t know it and begged him to help Ric Flair out. (As an aside, not only is Friends an important pop cultural relic of the 1990s, but it also seems to have taught almost every South Korean kid under 25 a large chunk of their colloquial and conversational English. I suppose that the withering humor in Seinfeld probably isn’t as friendly and wouldn’t translate as well in international syndication. Speaking of, Seinfeld’s naming convention for its episodes was a bit too simple, which is why I chose to jump forward into the next decade and instead use It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s naming convention for my Thunder review titles. Poor, misbegotten, somewhat dysfunctional Thunder. How much I mostly kinda liked you!) Hype video: Diamond Dallas Page gave Johnny B. Badd FOUR FLAT TIRRRRRRRRRRES, which in my headcanon is a trick that Page picked up from a heel locker room conversation with his buddy Paul Orndorff after hearing Orndorff’s stories from Mid-South. This caused Badd to miss his U.S. Championship shot against Sting that he won from Pillman. At least Badd can console himself by trying to lift the WCW World Television Championship off of Diamond Dallas Page tonight! I liked this feud a lot. I’m not saying that it should be on a Best Feuds list, but I quite enjoyed it. This is going to be a good opener almost certainly. Page and Badd are both good and have chemistry with one another. Hey, it’s Kimberly! Oh, and the champion DDP (w/Max Muscle, but forget that guy, the point is that he’s also w/Kimberly). Page has stolen the Badd Blaster at this point; he fires it off and generally acts hubristically. Badd has someone dress up as him and walk down the ramp so that he can enter from the crowd and commence with the asskickery. Yep, this is good. Page is taking bumps over the corner strut and Badd is landing offense with some energy. They have an energetic little crowd brawl that Badd dominates. They move back over the railing, where Badd puts a bucket over Page’s head and claps it; Page stumbles right into the post and CLANGs his bucket-wearing head into it. I dig that Page’s scumbag heeling is being turned back. They do a great Looney Tunes routine spot early on. Page yanks Badd’s hair twice to keep him from reversing an arm wringer, so Badd eventually does the same to Page to help leverage into an arm bar of his own. Page: OWWWWWW, HE’S PULLIN’ MY HAIIIIIIIR. Nick Patrick is hilarious, too, sternly telling both of them not to pull each other’s hair. Badd, still irritated at getting his hair pulled, responds with a LIKE THIS? and yanks back on Page’s hair again. Page whine-cries, then grabs at Patrick’s shirt. Patrick, getting as irritated with Page as Badd already is: “You better get off my shirt or you’re OUTTA HERE!” I loved that spot. It ruled. More heel wrestlers should watch Looney Tunes shorts and incorporate some Bugs/Daffy or Bugs/Elmer exchanges into their work. Page finally gets a bit of space by landing a Snake Eyes counter to Badd’s corner punches; Page calls for a ‘10’ from Kim, but she only fakes like she’s going to hold up the card until Page turns away. Page then derisively calls Badd a WOMAN, which probably explains why Kimberly is becoming as irritated with Page as Badd and Patrick are. About the only person who seems to actually like Page at this point is Max Muscle. Page hits a back suplex and finally gets Kim to hold up the ’10,” but she looks displeased as she follows that order. A Page pancake gets only two, so Page goes to the chinlock. He goes to the hair again when Badd tries to fight up from it and covers for two. Page gets in Patrick’s face, then begs off when Patrick is basically like You better get on outta here, fool. Page goes to the chinlock again, then tries an arm drag that gets reversed into a backslide for two. Guess what happens next? I know you can. Page covers for two off the lariat that he threw after kicking out of the babyface’s flash pinfall attempt, then blocks a sunset flip with a punch. He then casually sits down to make a cover and allows Badd to reverse the lazy pinfall attempt for two. Page gets back on top with a powerslam that gets two more and then receives Max Muscle’s help to win a lockup. None of his pinfall attempts seem to be working, so he decides to pull a Jim Duggan and use some tape to choke out Badd; Muscle, who Page directed to distract the ref beforehand, does a fine job of it. Kim stands at ringside wondering why she puts up with Page, doing so very broadly and by using huge facial expressions. Badd avoids some Max Muscle interference on another lockup and lands a back suplex on Page, but he’s taken quite a lot of punishment, so DDP is back to his feet first. Still, Badd fights back with a left to the gut and a leg sweep. Page tries to reassert control over the match with punches, but he whiffs when Badd ducks; Badd follows with a set of atomic drops and a slew of punches. DDP reverses a whip, but Badd hits a headscissors, then quickly goes up and lands a double axehandle. He asks Kim for a ‘10’ and gets it, but all his stalling to be awarded that ‘10’ delays his cover, and he only gets two. The challenger starts to pour it on, landing a sitout powerbomb for two, but Page counters his way into a leaping DDT – the Diamond Dream – on a rope run. He crawls over and covers Badd, but earns yet another two count. Page looks for a Diamond Cutter, but Badd blocks it by hooking the top rope. Badd attempts a lateral press, gets two, and then spills to the floor with Page before getting back in the ring and diving onto Page and Muscle. Badd puts Page back in the ring and lands a slingshot splash for two. Muscle tries to stop Badd from uncorking a Kiss That Don’t Miss, which he manages to do, but Page’s follow up attack whiffs; Page is then dropkicked into Muscle. Muscle tries to get involved again, but he clubs Page instead of Badd when Badd ducks. Badd fires a Kiss at Muscle that squarely lands, then turns around and covers Page for three and the title in a fun match that I wrote more about than I expected to when it started. DDP getting his comeuppance was satisfying. I still think all the derision from the online fans that he used to get in the late ‘90s is weird and unwarranted. This monster truck battle nonsense does nothing for me, and I’m a black West Coast libby-lib cosmopolitan dude who thinks that Grave Digger is dope as hell and should be seen as the king of all monster trucks. Zodiac walks out to Rey Misterio Jr.’s future theme, which I think I said at one point in this thread was a Jimmy Hart/Howard Helm special instead of the catalog track that it actually is. My wife just played an interesting video about all those catalog track albums made in the 1960s and 1970s that made me want to track down some of those old albums. The old school Monday Night Football theme (NFL, not Premier League, for any across-the-ponders reading this) might be the greatest catalog track ever made. Anyway, I should correct that when I finally make final edits. Also, this theme is completely lost on a goon like Ed Leslie. Macho Man Randy Savage is Zodiac’s opponent, and if Savage wins this match and Lex Luger wins his later match on this show, Savage and Luger will wrestle one another tonight as well. Savage is entertaining, so this brief match is fine. Also, a kid who looks like Jungle Boy jumps in the ring and is escorted out by security while Savage just works right past him, tossing Zodiac to the floor to give security time to corral the kid. Kamala was supposed to be in Zodiac's spot, but he left the company, so Heenan claims that the Mississippian Ugandan Giant was scared of Savage and thus was ousted from the Dungeon of Doom by Kevin Sullivan. Savage drops an elbow for three in short order. Gene Okerlund is chilling in the locker room and peddling rumors; this particular one is about Jimmy Hart talking to one of his former charges in the WWF. He then interviews new TV champ Johnny B. Badd. Badd believes in himself, and he wants the kids at home to believe in themselves too! Badd tries to step out, but Gene needs to stretch, so Badd comes back and helps him out. It’s all charming stuff. Badd is sorta goofy, sorta corny, but so heartfelt that I can’t help but root for him. Road Warrior Hawk versus Kurosawa (w/Colonel Rob Parker) sounds like a WCWSN special, and it doesn’t elevate things even considering that Kurosawa hit a Penta-style arm breaker on Hawk at the previous Clash to spark this mini-feud. Hawk at least opens with some energetic clubbering, but this really isn’t a PPV-appropriate match. It’s entirely forgettable fare. Kurosawa tries to drop a Savage Elbow, but he’s not Savage, so it doesn’t work out for him. Hawk lands a lariat on Col. Parker (Tony S., humorously: “He’s a-quiverin’!”), but that allows Kurosawa to get the drop on him back in the ring. Kurosawa scores a Samoan Drop, then uses the ropes and Col. Parker for leverage and gets three. Yeah, this could have been on Nitro. Or SN. Or Worldwide. In the back, Gene Okerlund interviews an antsy Randy Savage. Then again, when is Savage not antsy? Savage asserts the AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION in the previous match was because he just amps up the madness of the crowd by always existing within the madness himself. He promises that he can beat Hulk Hogan for the title if it comes down to that (untrue, sadly) and then informs Okerlund as to the following: YOUR MUSTACHE IS CROOKED! Okerlund basically replies that Savage’s barber failed to line up his beard (Savage: THAT’S OKAY). Pro wrestling needs its entertaining nutbars with tons of nervous energy like Randy Savage. Savage claims that he’s going to make sure that Luger gets past Meng later tonight so that he can meet Luger later on. Then, Savage drops one of his famous post-peak lines after Gene asks him how he feels about the monster truck deali-o that I don’t care about because Taurus and Kodiak are nowhere to be seen: MY CURIOSITY IS KILLIN’ ME JUST LIKE A CAT WOULD BE KILLED BY THE CURIOSITY! Randy Savage is co-holder of the “Smugs’s favorite wrestler[s] ever” title along with Bret Hart and forever will be as far as I’m concerned. Savage ends this interview segment with another line that should be about as famous as the previous one – MACHINE VERSUS MACHINE AND MAN VERSUS MAN, DOUBLED AND TRIPLED BY THE EXPOSURE OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – and please just let this guy talk forever when he gets in this sort of groove. WCW should have found the money to pay him in 2000, maybe see if he’d be fine going back to color or something. Yes, I know, the shambling corpse of what was once Turner wanted to offload the company, but even so. Mr. J.L. and Sabu (w/the Sheik) come to the ring, and wait just a minute, this match will involve maybe a fireball or something of that nature that maybe Sabu claimed to have cost him a WCW contract. We talked about this early in this review thread at some point. Anyway, Sabu is the king of charming uniquities. He dives onto everyone, including the Sheik at ringside, and J.L. dives onto him, and everyone dives onto everyone. It all feels slightly out of control rather than super-choreographed like a lot of these dive spots tend to feel. Both guys bump like bumping is going out of style. The crowd is pretty subdued for two guys basically pretending to have a match in a bouncy castle. At the point where Sabu hits a super sunset flip, I’ve decided that this is going on a good list. Which one, I’m not sure yet. J.L. dropkicks Sabu from the top to the floor, but Sabu comes back with a springboard moonsault for three. That gets a pop. The Sheik hits J.L. with the flash paper fireball for good measure; the crowd is impressed. The Sheik waves around a scimitar. This ruled on the face of the work rather than being bad but strangely entertaining. Fun as hell. WCW should have used the ECW guys they brought in better, from Sabu and Jerry Lynn to Saturn, Raven and Hak. They’re consistently some of the most fun guys on these shows, especially from 1998 on when the TV becomes largely a slog until it finally picks up in 2001. King Curtis Iaukea and Kevin Sullivan do a whole live dealymabobber that sucks. King Curtis: SULLIVAN, MY SON. THE MOON HAS FALL [sic] OVER DETROIT, MICHIGAN. THE STARS, SULLIVAN, ARE LINED UP, AND THE GREAT MILKY WAY IS READY FOR YOU, MY SON. IN TOKYO, JAPAN; IN PEKING, CHINA; IT’S THE START OF ANOTHER DAY. THEY SAY SULLIVAN, MY SON, THAT THERE WILL BE A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN TODAY AROUND THE WORLD. BECAUSE, SULLIVAN, WE ARE HERE, RIGHT HERE AND NOW, AND TONIGHT, YOU WILL WALK UPON THE GALAXIES BECAUSE WITH YOUR GIANT AND THE INSURANCE OF THE YETAYYYYYY, YOU WILL DESTROY HULKAMANIA AROUND THE GLOBE. Yo, King Curtis Iaukea is a legend, but fuck off with all this. Sullivan adds his two cents. Fuck, okay, I’ll also write it verbatim: HOGAN, IN DETROIT, WE BROUGHT THE INSURANCE POLICY. IT IS WRITTEN FROM THE BONES OF BANARAS: A GIANT SHALL LEAD US THROUGH THE NEXT CENTURY. HOGAN, WHEN YOU PUT ON THE BLACK, THE EVIL THAT LIES INSIDE OF YOU IS NOW OUT OF CONTROL. THE MONSTER TRUCK, THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT. WHEN IT’S [inaudible], THE DUNGEON OF DOOM TRUCK’S THE STRONGEST OF THEM ALL. AND HOGAN, YOU DON’T HAVE A FRIEND IN THE UNIVERSE: STING, LUGER, AND SAVAGE ARE ALL VULTURES, CLICKING AT YOUR HEELS. TONIGHT, HULK HOGAN, DETROIT, LIGHTNING DOES NOT STRIKE TWICE IN THIS UNIVERSE. I bet that reading this promo, you might be thinking, Hey, that’s all kinda funny in a goofy way. Maybe so, but watching it was a terrible experience. Actually, even the stuff from this feud that people think is funny in a goofy way (THERE’S NO HULKAMANIACS HERE) is actually awful to sit through as part of this long-running piece of shit feud that is complete garbage and belongs in the WWF where at least Vince McMahon Jr. can make this sort of fucking bullshit at least somewhat interesting based on how he got the Undertaker improbably over and then also got Kane improbably over. Also, how do vultures click at one’s heels? First, the phrase is that one would be nipping at another's heels, but the correct metaphor that Sullivan was likely reaching for was buzzards circling overhead (even though that doesn't quite work in this instance, either). I also have no idea why in kayfabe, these mystical weirdos are like, WE THINK MONSTER TRUCKS ARE COOL. Eric Bischoff’s love of white Midwestern Boomer interests like Harleys and monster trucks does fit with WCW – these things generally align with the white Southerner Boomer interests of both Hulk Hogan specifically and a large part of the traditional WCW audience in general – but they don’t fit into places where they don’t make sense, like in the nWo or within an evil mystical cult that is trying to destroy a babyface! This was absolutely dirt worst level stuff here. Your mileage may well vary. Hulk Hogan vs. the Dungeon of Doom is also officially making an appearance on my Worst Feuds list. On the other hand, Tony S.’s pronunciation of THE YETAYYYYY's name is fantastic. I love it. All this hype for Reese in Ace wrap. Hulk Hogan, Jimmy Hart, and some ham ‘n eggers give away a chopper to a young winner and his very young-looking fiancée. This isn’t as good as when Randy Savage cuts a promotional promo. It’s pretty shitty, actually, but after the previous segment, I can’t get too annoyed with it. It’s too long, but that’s obvious considering a) it's promotional and b) Hogan is involved. Promo: The first World War 3 is lined up for our next PPV review! Heenan cuts a promo on the socioeconomic status of the chopper winner, but loses track of what he’s trying to say and sounds like a doofus. Meng (w/Kevin Sullivan) hooks it up with Lex Luger next; he’s beaten Luger already (Nitro Show #4) in what was a well-booked match tied to equally well-booked interlocking segments. Luger bumrushes Meng and bonks his head into the corner. It works?! Wow, so much for racial and ethnic stereotypes in pro wrestling! Anyway, this match is not as good as I remember that Nitro one being. There’s a struggle catapult spot in here, for one. I do like Meng trying to small package his way out of dodge, but for the most part, this is merely watchable enough. I don’t know; I’m probably underselling things. Both guys work hard. Meng finally gets Luger in a bit of trouble after Luger misses a corner charge and can’t manage to score a back suplex shortly after; Meng’s very ponderous beatdown (complete with super-long chinlock) doesn’t score a victory. I mean, why is this match so long? The Nitro bout was in and out in about five minutes, and it was good. This feels like quite the stretch for time. Again, both guys work hard, but Meng’s control segment is double the time that it needed to be. Luger makes a comeback with clotheslines and a power slam, then signals for the Torture Rack. Meng loads his hand and spikes Luger in the throat when Luger turns around to grab him, but Sullivan gets Meng disqualified on purpose by hopping in and stomping Luger because he wants to further advance the split betwen Luger and Savage. Meng is understandably pissed because he wants to go to the PAY WINDAH. The finish makes logical senses, but it bewildered the live crowd. I could write “that finish bewildered the live crowd’ about approximately 68.7% of all WCW finishes. Trust me. I’ve done the arithmetic. The Giant (in racing outfit) cuts an interview with Gene Okerlund in which he addresses Hulk Hogan and hypes their upcoming monster truck battle. Paul Wight should get more credit for overcoming the shitty booking and somewhat questionable presentation that WCW creative gave him early on. Okerlund sells a hand injury after the Giant grabs the mic while Gene’s hand is still holding it. The Four Horsemen are going to hornswoggle (not Hornswoggle) Sting yet again. In Sting’s defense, as I mentioned before, he sees the hornswogglin’ a-comin’ and has threatened Ric Flair with continued violence upon his person if and when said hornswogglin' happens. Brian Pillman and Arn Anderson wrestle a lone Sting as Ric Flair is faking an injury that he will soon un-fake so that he can beat up Sting after Sting wrestles a virtual handicap match against Pillman and Arn. The crowd chants for Flair during the match. Oh, you sweet summer children, you shall certainly have him. Sting’s explosive offense and the pinballing of the heels is enjoyable in the early going. I love that Arn and Pillman are glad to look like total doofuses, having their double-team attacks foiled, wobbling around like drunks who have been battered in the head with clubs for Sting’s punches. Sting actually takes most of this before Flair gets down here and steps onto the apron, mostly so he can watch Sting get his ass kicked up close. Sting escapes Pillman’s clutches, but can’t quite make a hot tag before Arn hits him with a back suplex. Sting tries to make another tag, but Pillman runs over and “distracts” Flair, who jumps off the apron and chases Pillman around the ring instead of making the hot tag. I was going to say that this match was good, as odd as it was, but I think it’s good in spite of the oddness. Essentially, it’s a proper tag match with a heel turn except that Sting took the whole opening shine for himself. The heels timing of their cutoffs is excellent. Sting is in an Indian deathlock, screaming for NAITCH; Flair stands on the apron and encourages Sting by yelling STAND TALL; I’M HERE, BUDDY! STAND TALL! Sting uses the positive talk to spur himself to crawl toward Flair while still in the deathlock. That was magnificent. The crowd desperately wants to explode by the time Flair gets a tag. Even though we all know exactly what’s coming, both at the time and on re-watch in the future, they still reeled us in. I can’t credit the competitors in this match enough for that. So, Flair hops in, the crowd explodes, and then Flair nails Sting with a right to the jaw. About twenty percent of the crowd pops happily because they want the Horsemen to re-form. The other eighty percent sort of collectively moans because they were suckered again. Sting fights back, irritated once more that Flair has fucked him over, but the numbers game gets to him. What a near-perfect bit of pro wrestling this was. Okerlund shills the WCW Hotline; we get video of Mike Tenay and Road Warrior Hawk pretending to have animated conversations while on the phone. That gives the Horsemen time to make their way down the ramp and cut a quick promo using Okerlund’s mic. Approximately one-fifth of the crowd in Joe Louis Arena are thrilled by their declaration that The Horsemen are back, baby, and y'all aren't going to like what comes of that. Sabu/J.L. and that previous tag match are both on the same Very Good/Sometimes Pretty Great Matches list of mine, which really illustrates the range of matches that live together on that list. I feel like this list is almost a bit too rangy, but I’m definitely not interested in splitting it up into more specific lists or anything like that. A point in favor of the range of matches on the list is that at least there'd be quite a bit of variety if a viewer set the playlist to shuffle. Lex Luger talks to Mike Tenay in the back about his upcoming match with Randy Savage. He seems to be as confused by the finish of his match with Meng as the crowd was, by the way. Recap: After Heenan cuts a promo on Hulk Hogan at the desk, we get a recap of this goofy Hogan/Giant feud so far. It’s a long promo. The monster trucks morph into the men they represent at one point. It’s dumb. Eric Bischoff has replaced Tony S. when we come back; he introduces a guy named Bob Chandler who talks about the specs of the Hogan monster truck. I don’t care about the specs. I just want to see Dennis Anderson try to leap it over a line of fifteen cars without spilling it. Car talk bores the fuck out of me in any context other than when I am buying a new one. As we go to the roof of Cobo Hall where Hogan and the Giant hear the rules from some dude for this monster truck deal, let me just mosey on over to the Absolute Dirt Worst list and plop this segment on there. I'm thinking that the match will also be placed with it in a joint pairing just for the YETAYYYYYY’s inappropriate dry humping of Hogan. Anyway, watching two trucks slowly shove each other is fucking boring. Monster trucks are fun when they make improbable jumps or race one another or crash (or any combination of those three things). This is not that. As an aside, this segment made me miss Monster Jam. I loved me some Monster Jam. At one point as a kid, Monster Jam and WWF Action Zone came on one after the other on whatever local station aired them at the time, which ruled. This doesn’t rule. After what might have been a couple of decades’ worth of time, the Giant loses the monster truck battle, tries to toss Hogan off the roof, and ends up taking the plunge all the way into the river or the parking lot or maybe a well-supported bit of scaffolding and a crash mat, who knows. Hogan’s acting after he sees this happen is absurd. Then again, the acting of the fellas at the desk makes Hogan’s acting look positively Emmy-worthy. Lex Luger and Randy Savage make their way back to the ring for their special challenge bout. Thankfully, Tony S. is back on commentary. Regrettably, all he and Heenan can seem to discuss is that stupid roof spot. Luger proffers his hand to Savage before the match, but Savage replies with fists to Luger’s noggin. Jimmy Hart walks down to ringside maybe a minute into the proceedings and watches Luger stomp away at Savage. This is another match that, while not bad, is just sort of there. Savage working from underneath is always interesting, but I’m a bit bothered by the match layout because a) Savage worked earlier in the night than Luger did and thus has had more time to recover and b) Savage finished off the Zodiac on a nearly no-damage run, but Luger got his ass kicked by Meng for a long-ass time in his match. The issue is that since Luger is the heel in relation to Savage, Savage ends up eating a bunch of offense as the underneath worker, but that doesn’t fit with what happened in their previous matches. The proceedings are also dampened by Heenan way overselling the trauma of seeing the Giant falling over the side of the building. You saw the segment, Heenan, and it was hokey as fuck. You’re not helping sell it. Hart distracts the ref while Luger tries to steal a leveraged pinfall on Savage, then has Luger clang into him when Savage reverses an Irish whip. Savage quickly goes up and launches a Savage Elbow that lands; he covers and earns the pinfall. This was sort of a bummer. Unnecessary recap: We see the end of that monster truck segment that we just saw like fifteen minutes ago. Heenan’s panicked overacting has me flirting with the idea of putting him on a bad list. The Giant lives! The challenger (w/Kevin Sullivan) makes it to the ring for his WCW World Heavyweight Championship match against Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart). Hogan walks out first and immediately denies any culpability for the Giant splattering himself because of course he does. Anyway, the Giant should win this cleanly to get the full effect of this stupid-ass “fall off the building” spot, so of course he doesn’t. At the point where I am doing this review (after finishing the main run of the Nitro Era), I was into a half-year's worth of Hogan-less WCW shows. That was not nearly enough time for me to recover from having to watch Hulk Hogan. I hate watching Hulk Hogan wrestle. On the other hand, I enjoy watching the Giant wrestle, so ultimately, this is watchable enough. And let me at least give Hogan a teensy bit of credit for spending most of this match selling an ass whipping. Then again, Hogan breaks out of a long bearhug and runs himself into a chokeslam…and kicks out at two. Fuck off. Hogan lands a body slam and a legdrop, so Jimmy Hart saves his charge by clobbering ref Randy Anderson with the big gold belt before Anderson can make a count. He pretends to then help the ref up, but instead hits Hogan with the belt. This gives the Giant time to recover and also makes space for Kevin Sullivan to get in the ring. The Giant locks Hogan in another weak bearhug while Sullivan throws blows at Hogan and Hart waves for the troops to enter the ring. Luger and Savage run to the ring together, and Reese THE YETAYYYYYYYY shuffles to the ring. Luger jumps Savage rather than help Mach save Hogan; THE YETAYYYYYYY and the Giant put on a Brazzers scene in the middle of the ring. The Giant wins by DQ (since Hart hit the referee and was Hogan’s manager at the time) and leaves with the big gold belt despite Michael Buffer's repeated clarification that the title cannot change hands on a disqualification. Havoc '95 was not a good show overall! However, the stuff that was good on the show was pretty damned good. This is a PPV best watched by cherrypicking the pretty damned good stuff. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1109025

NoA needs to get on the ball and send me my Switch 2 invite already.

The thing about cutting on a firehose of lies is that you can mix a few truths in there, but the spray of stories and claims is so intense that it's impossible to pick those truths out from the lies. In other words, this BJH episode was a doozy. EDIT: And Haynes in the pageboy haircut like he was an aged PNW Prince Valiant was amazing.

I'm not sure that "like we used to" is a necessary add-on. It's not like Eugene V. Debs became POTUS or anything. Your cousin's game is the table.

I'm generally aligned with you on this. Dusty/Dustin vs. Flair/Jarrett was the perfect way to use all those workers for that match in front of that crowd. Maybe the Nitro book is the source that covers this, but it's on record that he and Ed Ferrara mainlined that stuff while writing shows for the WWF.

Back around to this: Curt Hennig never bothering to get his revenge on the nWo after being kicked out The little person in the Scream mask attacking random people backstage in the Russo-Ferrara Era The lights going out and someone attacking people in the ring in the RFE Vampiro probably would have benefited from having that Saturn feud he was going to have based around who wore their corset the prettiest, too. His WCW run was stop-start for a long time.

I wondered about this.

Fuck y'all, I love it when the beat goes. Baby, make ya booty go. Dudes in here simply don't love the finer things in life. (For real, that song is trash, but it's not TKO-level trash.)

Fall Brawl ‘95 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1105129 And we’re back with the first WCW pay-per-view of the Nitro Era! Though it’s obvious to anyone reading this in thread form rather than edited chronological document form (the latter of which will be finished and added to this thread someday), this review is happening after I ran through all of Nitro and Thunder as well as most of the PPVs. I sure wish that I had just gone ahead and committed to watching every WCW show in the Nitro Era from the jump, but then again, it’s fun to have a few more shows to write about. Hype-filled intro: On the other hand, a War Games pitting Hulk Hogan, Sting, Randy Savage, and Lex Luger (“returned from behind enemy lines”) against Meng, the Shark, Kamala, and Disciple Booty Man Barber Dizzy Zodiac sounds diabolical, so maybe my decision to skip these early shows made at least a modicum of sense at the time. Tony S. hypes that spot where the Giant hilariously ran over the Hulkster’s ugly-ass Harley, which appears on Nitro the night after this show. Bobby Heenan is on commentary as well, and he’s trying, which is pretty rad! This Brian Pillman versus Johnny B. Badd match is notable for being kinda fucking weird, at least to me. The last time that I saw it, I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad or what. WCW is definitely pre-massive cuts and flush with cash because Michael Buffer is here to introduce this opener. This is a number one contendership bout for Sting’s United States Championship, Buffer tells us. Oh, I can drop this feature right now. Michael Buffer’s Ring Announcing Quality Control: It’s not THE WCW Fall Brawl, dude. Who are you, Bret Hart? I do note that Pillman is still being billed as from Hollywood, California, which I’m not sure I realized went on this long. We begin with these two slightly awkward athletes doing double-dropkicks leading to a face-off spots and stuff like that. The feeling out period is solid, and actually, I sort of appreciate that things feel less than a hundred percent crisp. Everything being a perfectly crisp exchange on every show takes me out of things a bit and reminds me that, yes, this is a choreographed show. Even small things like Badd scoring an early La Magistral and rolling Pillman toward the ropes, where Pillman has to flail a bit so that he can find the ropes with his boot, feels more organic. Am I getting too close to an It’s supposed to suck-style argument for anyone here? The first five minutes are full of holds and flash pinfall attempts. They run a bit, but one or the other scores a move and then settles back down into a feeling-out hold. You know, I can enjoy a headlock spot when it’s a clear part of an opening where the story is that neither guy wants to make an early mistake, even if Badd could maybe work the headlock a bit more for my tastes. Or a lot more for my tastes, actually. Pillman works out of one headlock with a backbreaker, casually covers for two, and then goes to a Boston Crab. It’s not a great Boston Crab, so I’m pleased that Pillman gives up on it and throws a punch. Now, Pillman is meant to be teasing his upcoming heel turn, so he yells WHO’S A BADD MAN NOW? at the crowd before promptly losing control of the match. Badd transitions from a leg grapevine into a weird-looking surfboard variant. What an odd little match in terms of the (generally interesting) work. Pillman shoves Badd, who knocks Pillman to the mat with a return shove. Pillman sparks a punch-up that he loses; he rolls to the floor and reconsiders his strategy while a woman in the front row angrily yells at him to get his ass back in there. Pillman re-enters the ring and offers a handshake that the crowd insists he should not take; Badd in fact does not do so, so Pillman dumps him to the floor instead and, upon Badd’s attempt at re-entry, gnaws on Badd’s forehead. Badd manages to knock Pillman away and land a slingshot guillotine legdrop for about 2.8. Then…it’s back to a chinlock. OK, we’re well into this match, and maybe it’s time to pick things up for an extended period. Not the whole match, mind you, but give us more of an explosion before settling back down. They do run again and crash into each other on a double-leapfrog attempt, which starts a standing ten-count. What a strange bout; they stagger to their feet, where Pillman lands a headbutt that drops both him and Badd right back into another standing ten count. There’s no rhythm at all to this match for me. It is eschewing the straightforward shine-heat-comeback approach, sure, but it’s veering far away from that approach and into something almost ineffable structurally, at least to my eyes. Badd suplexes Pillman to the floor from his spot on the apron, and I wonder if that’s a DQ (as does Heenan), but the bout goes on. Pillman lands a counter-dropkick back in the ring, but ducks down on a rope run and eats a sit-out powerbomb for two. The men trade two counts with impact moves, like that aforementioned Badd sit-out powerbomb or Pillman’s jumping Tombstone. The clock is ticking in time with the first bit of escalation in the match, but after Pillman is tossed out of his tornado DDT attempt, Badd goes to an armbar, which drives me nuts considering Buffer’s constant announcements of the time remaining. At least Badd moves quickly at the two-minute warning, leaving the armbar and being countered into a weird little octopus hold that Pillman ineffectively cinches on through the one-minute warning. Is this match any good? I’m still not sure. They finally get to their feet, where Badd lands a Kiss that Don’t Miss/Tutti Frutti. Pillman is in the ropes, though, and he gets up and hits a springboard lariat for two as time expires. They mistime the last spot, which is supposed to be Pillman scoring a backslide and Badd being saved by the bell, but whatever. Those spots are hard to properly time. Nick Patrick makes a referee’s decision and calls for a sudden death period. That period starts with Pillman trying to avoid another hard left hand by attacking Badd’s left shoulder. The two do another double-dropkick spot, this time with a missile dropkick, before Pillman tries a sleeper. That hold gets reversed, so Pillman suplexes his way out of that particular jam, and we get another standing ten-count. I am ready for the finish. This match has been fascinating in that I’ve enjoyed it mostly because of how strange the layout feels. I’m trying to think of another match where that’s been the case. Badd scores two on a diving sunset flip; Pillman reverses a powerbomb into a Frankensteiner for two. Pillman’s crucifix is countered into a Samoan drop for two. I am even more ready for the finish than I was before. Look, I’ll just tell you the finish when it happens. These fellas insist on a few more nearfalls and also a spot where Pillman gets launched from the top and onto the guardrail outside. And also a spot where Badd hits a slingshot senton onto Pillman out there. And also also a spot where Badd eats knees on a slingshot splash back into the ring. I’m fatigued. There’s more after that, too! The finish, when it happens, is weak in my view: They hit a double-crossbody where Pillman lands on top of Badd, but Badd is the one who isn’t hurt by it; he awkwardly flips Pillman onto his back and wins it. That was the strangest thirty-ish minutes of wrestling that I’ve seen in a while. Word to twiztor, this match is the dictionary definition of a Charming Uniquity. After a few remarks from Tony S. and Heenan about Ric Flair’s inability to get a grip on pretty much anything that’s happening in his wrestling career, Gene Okerlund interviews Ric, who cuts a promo on Arn Anderson. It’s all a ruse, mind you. Flair and Arn have decided to kick the shit out of each other to lure Sting in and beat him up, and that’s only because Savage was having no part of their little plan…not that this stopped them from harassing Savage straight into the arms of the nWo anyway. We’re back in 1995, so Flair is still at least somewhat in touch with reality, but all his scheming that used to work so well in, say, 1987 doesn’t have nearly the same success here in 1995. It’s all downhill in kayfabe (and as a shoot?) for the guy's ability to control his narrative in WCW, of course; Flair’ll be a nutty leader of WCW, desperately grasping onto power in whatever way possible, in a few more years. And then again a couple of years after that. Cobra’s Morse Code theme makes me want to stab my Chromebook’s speakers with a sharp implement. Let’s hope he gets rolled right quick by Sgt. Craig Pittman. Wait, this isn’t Sgt. Craig Pittman walking down the aisle. It’s The Artist Soon to Be Known As Prince Iaukea! TAStBKAPI draws Cobra’s attention while in the background, Crow Sting Sgt. Pittman rappels down from the catwalk and steals upon Cobra with one of those artillery belts like what Rambo wears as he mows down terrorists in all the First Blood sequels. Anyway, I want Pittman to roll Cobra right quick, and he pretty much does. They open with a ringside brawl that seems novel and not at all obligatory in 1995 before Pittman snaps on a Code Red for the submission victory about as soon as the match re-enters the ring. It’s good to see that he really knows how to snap that move on. He’s clearly got so much experience and practice with that move that it’s something he’ll never forget how to do. Promotional package: Paul Orndorff headbutts a window in frustration after a loss to the Macho Man, but he regains his confidence as soon as some TV psychic who isn’t Miss Cleo (God rest her beautiful soul) helps him find himself again through a spectral vision or some shit like that. This is obviously so bad that it’s good, especially Orndorff’s completely unconvincing GARY SPIVEY? FROM THE PSYCHIC COMPANIONS NETWORK?! Also, Spivey states the lyrics of Orndorff’s new operatic entrance theme in a matter-of-fact tone. This might low-key be one of my two or three favorite dumb promotional pro wrestling crossovers of all time. It's Kimberly! Also, DDP is here. But let’s go back to Kimberly! Oh, Max Muscle, who is later on known as Maxx, is here too. But again, Kimberly! Anyway, I’m calmed down. Tony S.: “Remember back in high school how the good-looking girls always went out with the dirtbags? That’s what [this] reminds me of.” Be like Elsa and LET IT GOOOOOOO, Tony S. So, Page is going to try and wrest the WCW World Television Championship from Renegade (w/Jimmy Hart). Kevin Sullivan should absolutely book him to do that, especially because Page is fun as hell even in 1995. For example, he fires off early, then headbutts Renegade, bumps himself to the floor because Renegades and Warriors have especially hard heads, wobbles around, smacks his head on the post, and tumbles backwards over the railing. You can say what you want about Page being Bischoff’s neighbor, but when his WCW run was said and done, he probably didn’t get featured as well as he should have as opposed to getting extra opportunities that he didn’t deserve. Page does what he can with the entirely unimpressive Renegade. Kimberly is bummed that Dallas keeps making her hold up the “10” card like she’s Tye Dillinger. I mean, if anyone back then knew that Tye Dillinger existed. Heck, do that many people now know that Tye Dillinger/Shawn Spears exists? Whatever, doesn’t matter, the point is that Page walks Renegade through a decent enough match that ends when Page gets whipped into Max Muscle as Muscle gets on the apron. Renegade dives onto Max as Hart yells at him, but when he tries to get back into the ring, Max grabs his leg and Page recovers and quickly hooks a Diamond Cutter on the tied-up Renegade for three. That Page carry job should tell you something about how much potential Page had as a heel, and he’d turn all of that potential into promise made good in early 1999. The WCW World Tag Team Championship is on the line next: Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) try to recapture the gold from champions Dirty Dick Slater and Bunkhouse Buck (w/Colonel Robert Parker). We are firmly into the Sherri-and-Parker Wacky Relationship Era, by the way. Things like Bunkhouse Buck throwing punches while wearing smudged suspenders is one of the things that the loss of WCW has deprived us of: Gross-looking Southern dudes with great punches who are billed from places like Bucksnort, Tennessee. TNA tried to keep the magic alive - America’s Most Wanted comes immediately to mind – but no, it’s dead. The best we have now is, like, Hangman Adam Page, and no offense to his fans, but meh. I like this match’s opening, which involves a series of punches and clotheslines from everyone and some combined clubbering on the part of the Heat. Also, there’s a Stevie Ray chinlock in there. Look, we can’t have everything. That’s just the reality of life. The champs struggle to get out of the starting blocks for an extended period. Slater takes some control when the lumbering Stevie tries ten punches in the corner and is countered into an ugly inverted atomic drop because Stevie, while big, is not very mobile. Dirty Dick immediately loses control on a headbutt to the midsection, though. Booker finally ends up in peril after Buck catches him from behind on a rope run. Buck then tags in and throws a nice kneelift. There are punches, chokes, and occasionally, a wrestling move. Slater has a nice side Russian. They also work a good struggle piledriver spot in there. This is where the match picks up; Booker makes an aborted comeback that ends when he crashes out on a corner charge and takes a bump right onto his neck in the process. He makes another one that ends with him getting deadlifted and slammed. This is a good heel control segment as you would expect considering the heels. I dig one spot where Stevie frustratedly kicks Slater while Slater’s got Booker in a Boston Crab, but the heels neutralize that by not even tagging out; Buck gets in the ring and resumes a single-leg crab while the ref shoos Stevie away. Finally, Booker escapes the jam with an axe kick and makes a hot tag. Stevie scores a two count, but the match breaks down. All four men fight in one ring while in the other ring, Sherri seductively crawls toward Rob Parker on all fours. It’s kinda hot, honestly! And yes, I am settled down! The Nasty Boys show up somewhere in there and attack Slater with his own cowboy boot (in exchange, as Tony S. tells us later, for Slater and Buck attacking them in a match against the American Males). Sherri and Parker make out while Stevie covers Slater for three. Hey look, an overbooked WCW finish that I enjoyed! It must not be 1998. Or 1999. Or 2000. The Heat are mistrustful of their manager because she’s consorting with Robert Parker. Fair! She assures them that her make-out session with the colonel was all a ruse, though. (It was not.) Buck and Slater crap on Colonel Parker in a post-match interview with Gene Okerlund in the aisle. Parker blows off their concerns because he’s in LUH-UHVVVVVE. Parker is a character, man. This is a funny little promo; Parker is entertaining as hell when you get him talking. He promises to get his boys another title shot, but in the meantime, Sherri has him sprung, so he’s just going to go with it. Ah, one of those This is going to end poorly, but I’m going to do it anyway romances. I've been there! I didn't have a wedding ruined by Madusa, though. Arn Anderson next interviews with Gene Okerlund backstage, who is half out of breath from running backstage to do this interview (Roger Bannister gets a mention from ole Gene). Lucky for him, they play a video package in which we see Arn and Ric’s relationship fall apart, though not really, as it'll turn out. This package notes that Hulk Hogan’s arrival in the company has put Flair on tilt – yep – and we get a little video of him with his family. Dopey David Flair and young Reid make a couple of early bird cameos. This is a strong package, but it’s so long that Okerlund has had time to wipe away the sweat, lower his heart rate, and get rehydrated. Arn follows up on that package and cuts what will not surprise you to find out is a very good promo about having to fight Ric because that’s what happens when family has an issue. Fists are thrown. Well, in pro wrestling, not universally. A bunch of midcarders get seats in the first few rows for this epic encounter. Ric Flair taunts Arn Anderson at the start of the match and gets cheered. They love both these guys, actually. Flair works Flair’s typical match. The fans are like YEAH, WE LOVE THIS THING YOU ALWAYS DO, FLAIR, so who am I to tell him that his approach to wrestling is incorrect? Nobody, that’s who. There is novelty in this routine, though, and that’s in Arn as an ostensible babyface doing all these Flair spots where Flair attacks, Arn retaliates, and Flair flops around and looks incensed. Of course, they do some enjoyable mat work that isn't completely aimless in terms of the story being told, to boot. Bobby Heenan does great work on commentary, saying that Arn and Ric might be at the same level as wrestlers, and that Ric never giving Arn a world title shot might be a hint that Ric realizes this. I’ll also say that, while the quality of his stories was very up and down, this core concept (along with the alt-universe return of Tully Blanchard to WCW in the ‘90s actually occurring) formed the spine for what was easily the best Rewriting the Book that Jed Shaffer ever produced. This is a good match! I particularly like the part of this match that connects the opening to the middle, where Arn just barely outwrestles Flair, anticipating all his tricks and strategies because he’s seen all that shit before. Ric can’t even beg off without getting immediately stomped in the chest. Arn works on Ric’s arm and shoulder, including with a nice hammerlock slam. So, here’s what elevates this match: Halfway through, Flair starts to sucker Arn in by anticipating that Arn will try to anticipate his moves. My favorite spot in this bout is when Flair does his typical Flair flip over the corner strut off an Irish whip and runs the apron. When Arn moves to cut him off with a lariat, Flair pulls the top rope down and Arn tumbles to the mats below. As a bonus, Flair goes up and hits a double axe to the floor, earning a rare successful top-rope move by deviating from his normal strategy. That series of spots is how Flair manages to take control of the match for an extended period of time. I very much enjoyed it! Flair keeps Arn grounded, barking at the fans in between attempts at successfully cheating, but Arn manages to punch his way out of trouble, then lands a back body drop for two. What annoys me is Pee Wee Anderson blocking one of Arn’s punches as Flair begs off – why?! – so that Flair can transition back into control with a low blow. Also illogical: Throwing someone over the top rope is a disqualification, but throwing them between the ropes, as Flair does, is fine. At least they got rid of that latter rule. They never did get rid of the idea that refs do dumb things for no logical reason to spark transitions or finishes, though. Flair takes the match back inside the ring, lands a right, and then scores a vertical suplex that only gets two because he is too fatigued to cover. As Flair goes to chops, I wonder if maybe these two were beefing a bit before remembering that they had a plan to ruin Sting’s life and deciding to come back together to execute it. There wouldn’t be any logical reason to wrestle a hard match for 25 minutes or whatever just for a ruse. I digress; Arn manages to counter Flair’s counter to a sunset flip by dodging Flair’s punch. He chokes Flair, then signals for the DDT, but he’s too near the ropes. Flair hooks them and hangs on as Arn takes a back bump. Alas, he goes up top once too many and is tossed to the mat, then suffers a knee to the jaw that earns two for Arn. Arn tries a double-axe from the second rope, but Flair gets back to his feet and clotheslines Arn out of the air, then struggles for a Figure Four. Arn grabs Ric’s leg as Ric tries to cross Arn’s ankle, but Ric fights through it, locks it on, and punches Arn’s knee. Arn tries desperately to turn it and does to a massive pop, but Flair lets the hold go. He’s first to his feet, and he scores a chop block, then sets up for it again. Arn counters this attempt with a small package for two as Flair turns it. Flair goes back to work; he whips Arn to the corner, but Arn falls over. Pee-Wee checks on Arn, which is when Brian Pillman hops on the apron and punches Ric in the face. Ric punches him right back, so Pillman kicks Flair in the back of the head after Flair turns his back. Arn painfully makes his way to his feet and DDTs Ric for three. A guy who looks just like 2025 fully-bearded Tony S. except aged downward thirty years shakes his head mournfully in the front row. I don’t love Pillman getting involved on the finish for such a good match, but man, that bout was fantastic. Hype video: This War Games seems like it’s going to suck, and Kevin Sullivan cutting questionable promos as the Taskmaster is not changing my position on this at all! Sullivan cutting deranged promos in 1985? Awesome. Sullivan cutting deranged promos in 1995? The exact opposite of that. Hilarious video: There goes the Hulkster’s ugly-ass motorcycle! The Giant and Hogan competing over who can ham it up more in that segment. Another fucking Dungeon of Doom hype video: The narrator says that Sullivan and his FATHA King Curtis “are one, combining their powers and summoning the Shark, the Zodiac, Kamala, Meng (the Face of Terror), and the Giant.” I really enjoy the Giant, but that summoning is decidedly less impressive than combining their powers to summon Captain Planet. Two other notes: First, we’re still pretending that LE GEANT~ is Andre’s kid at this point. Second, Vader is listed as AWOL from the babyface team. He’s not A-WALL, though, so good for him! Shitty pre-match promo: The babyfaces are wearing greasepaint. Okerlund compares them to the troops at Normandy in WW2. This confuses Hogan, who blows that analogy off so that he can talk about drinking Agent Orange. I find it interesting that the Hulkster no-sold the mention of troops liberating France from the Nazis and instead referenced an American war crime in Vietnam. Actually, it’s not that interesting because it’s sorta obvious considering, y'know, that Hogan is a scumbag in all facets of his personality. Hogan yells DTA, DON’T TRUST ANYBODY, but it’s less cool than when Stone Cold does it. He also plans to use Jimmy Hart as bait. Man, Hogan was a terrible person in kayfabe. Michael Buffer is back out here to switch it up with a LET THE GAMES BEGIN, which I’m not sure about honestly. My initial reaction was SAY THE LINE, BART BUFFER, especially because that’s what he’s really getting paid to say. Okerlund explains the rules for this very awesome match type that is not going to be well-booked ever again in this company post-1994. I mean, unless this War Games bout surprises me. Buffer announces that if the babyfaces win, Hogan gets Sully in a one-on-one match immediately after the bout before introducing the Dungeon of Doom, who, by the way, are billed as being from, collectively, YIN AND YANG; THE GREAT BARRIER REEF; DEEPEST, DARKEST AFRICA; the South Pacific island of Tonga, in a refreshing and brief return to normality; and finally, THE IRON GATES OF FATE. Woof. Is the Vader-for-Luger trade one of the most lopsided trades in pro wrestling history? I know it’s not a direct trade, but you get my point. It’s damn near Herschel Walker to the Vikes (Vader is Walker in this analogy) or Luka to the Lakers (Vader is absolutely not Luka in this analogy). Anyway, let’s get this thing going. Buffer SAYS THE LINE, and we begin with Sting [HM1] and the Shark [DD1] having an okay opening in which Sting fights up from an early Shark attack *sigh* and hits a body slam before Shark collapses on him when Sting goes for a second. Commentary critiques Sting's decision to try a second slam attempt even though we just saw him hit the slam on the first attempt. Tenta locks on a bear hug. Man, this match is a bummer. Both men trade control; Shark loses it at one point while posing as he steps over the top rope, which is the sort of heel hubris that deserved the testicular torturing that Sting administered. The Stinger turns Tenta on a Scorpion Deathlock, but wouldn’t you know it, the heels win the toss, so Zodiac [DD2] rushes into the ring and Sting has to break it up. Sting is trying his best in here, and really, he’s the reason that this is a watchable series of segments. Shark is trying in there, but he's broken down. The heels can’t put Sting in all that much trouble before Randy Savage [HM2] enters the fray. They ring a bell while Buffer announces that “the period is over; we move on to period number three.” Did they ring bells or announce each entrance as a new period in the past? I don’t believe so. I don’t think they did it in the future either, though my memory may be faulty in either direction. Good news: This match isn’t the absolute dirt worst! Bad news: This match is dreadfully fucking boring! Kamala [DD3] enters and hits a few hokey chops as is his way. Time passes. Lex Luger [HM3] evens the numbers. Matters progress. Meng [DD4] is the final Dungeon member inside the cage. Something of note happens, which is mostly that Luger and Savage get their wires crossed and then fight one another before Meng takes the chance to kick both guys in the chest. That’s nice, having something to report of any interest at all. Hulk Hogan [HM4] hauls his annoying ass into the ring and THE MATCH BEYOND begins. You know, I just recalled that Hogan and Savage are still going to be feuding with the Dungeon in February of 1996. Ugh. So, this snoozer of a match ends with the babyfaces taking steady control of the proceedings while Tony S. tries to walk back Heenan’s declaration that the ring looks “like Bosnia.” Yeesh! This is taking forever, but finally, Hogan locks Zodiac in a weak camel clutch, and Zodiac is all like YES NO YES NO YES NO ACTUALLY I’M GONNA PRETEND THIS HURTS AND JUST STICK TO SAYING YES BECAUSE I SUBMIT. Sullivan tries to hightail it, but is stopped by WCW officials and eventually tossed into the ring by Sting, where he gets the shit kicked out of him by Hogan. Happily, the Giant stomps out here, breaks into the cage, and chokeslams Hogan. Fin. OK, so ’94 was the last great War Games match and ’96 or ’97 was the last pretty good one. That’s a bummer. This show was worth watching for Ric Flair/Arn Anderson and the oddity that was the opener, but for the most part, it was forgettable. You wouldn’t think that WCW was about to go on a creative hot streak if you watched the show out of context. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/#findComment-1105316

Alright, adding that to my list of reviews! Thanks! I love this silly company so much that I felt a flush of happiness to have another show to review. And this is a show from 2000! That really says something about my affection for WCW.

Same with Savage. I was also an instant fan of the Undertaker. The rope walk, the body bagging of half-dead jobbers, the aura. This was less a thing for me with JCP/WCW, though it was specifically with tag teams: I was a big fan of the Midnights, Doom, and Harlem Heat. Then again, for me the heel/face alignment in a Doom/Freebirds feud was obviously not the same as it was meant to be for the majority of the audience, so that's one caveat to consider. I also rooted for Bad News Brown unless he was wrestling Savage, come to think of it. Like Nice Guy Eddie, I also would root for any heel that was running rings around a dumb babyface: Jake Roberts over Warrior, Doink over Crush. Jake cut a "scorpion and the frog" style promo on Warrior after his (obvious) heel turn that pretty much destroyed any remote interest I might have in rooting for Warrior back in 1991-ish. 1996 WCW is my favorite year for either promotion during the Monday Night Wars era, with 1997 WWF running a somewhat close second.

This would be fantastic. Seems like a great choice for Bianca or Jade. This WCW scene, booked sensibly, doesn't bleed ratings and dollars.

OK, Blue Prince is aggravating me because I am already raging that I can't connect the right rooms to advance as far as I'd like. I'm only three days in! I will say that I've already figured out what is up with some of the hanging pictures on the walls of the rooms, and I've got a hypothesis that I'm going to try and test based on what I've noticed. I platted Robocop, which was a fairly easy plat because NG+ makes some of the trophies that might be hard to earn on a first run fairly academic on the second run.

I wouldn't make a Lash/Blitz comparison myself. I was underwhelmed by Blitz, but Stefanie put his work in a framework that tells how important he was, and it was her historical contextualization of Blitz's WCW run that settled me on appreciating that run of his. Blitz and Kanyon to me are closer in comp in that they inspired a lot of people who are making a living in the pro wrestling industry today. Lash LeRoux is not even close to that level of influence. I also have a soft spot for Van Hammer and think that Horace is fine in the midcard. They comp like Jerry Flynn to me in that they're not great workers, but they do work hard and try to be interesting. Horace doesn't have to hit suicide dives, but he does it anyway, y'know? I think the real bummers in the midcard are guys like Rick Steiner, Konnan, or Bam Bam Bigelow who are lazy or broken down old vets stealing TV time from people who can be at least a little bit dynamic. Even Hugh Morrus tries, you know what I mean? I can at least give him that. Some of these midcarders wouldn't or couldn't do that much.

I focus on what we agree on, not where we disagree. **does the Mega Powers handshake with you**

I mean, that Joe Hendry song is catchy as fuck. I bet y'all vocally hated the Spice Girls as teenagers while also bobbing your head to "Wannabe" or "Say You'll Be There," two certified bops. (Besides which, his TNA songs about his opps are pretty funny. I do enjoy a good music-based wrestler gimmick, though.)