Lawful Metal

I don't get the Rockets. They are the most inconsistent team I've ever seen. I have no idea what to expect. Except bad defense.

Is Stafford on the trading block with Megatron retiring? Texans will take him.

Northcutt tapping to an arm triangle while blocking with his arm and in half guard is pathetic.

Worst no call of the season: https://vine.co/v/i5nU1QHh6VW

Double posted but serious question: Why do the babyfaces always cheat? The Usos were first to take a cheap shot outside the ring against New Day, Roman sits out most of the Rumble ... I don't get it.

Shouldn't there be repercussions on Bray Wyatt for putting his hands on Triple H? For kissing the head of Triple H? Why do they tease baby face Bray and then do nothing with it? Kinda want Wyatts v. League of Nations for Fastlane.

It just occurred to me that Roman Reigns will personally eliminate 29 superstars en route to winning the rumble and then beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

Hmmm, Ambrose eliminating Roman and fighting Brock at Wrestlemania as a baby face would be fantastic. Roman slow heel turn because jealousy. It writes itself!

Over under on how long Reigns lies around motionless in a corner of the ring? +/- 30 min.? Honestly, I'm with Bray. Anyone but Roman and I'll be happy. I think best case scenario is Ambrose eliminating Reigns, but not sure who I want to win it. Because last thing I want is "underdog" Reigns going into Wrestlemania. Actually, let Bray win, do Taker v. Bray, title vs career, and let Bray win. They might burn Jerry World down.

I had a dream that RG3 signed with the Texans and we hired Art Briles as our Offensive Coordinator. We didn't cut Arian Foster and with screen passes and draw plays we scored 70 points a game and went to the Super Bowl. Arian ran for 3000 yards and RG3 never got injured. It was crazy. Please don't sign RG3.

Why is Brian Hoyer starting for the Seahawks?

I think one of the basic things they can do is alternate shows. Roman Reigns wrestles on Monday? He gets interviewed (or even better, training montage) on Smackdown. Monday, promo / skit / contract signing. Smackdown, wrestle a tag or a squash. Plus, y'know, advertising in advance what matches to expect on those shows. Also, Zack Ryder, Heath Slater, Sandow, et al. are on the roster to get destroyed. So, use them as comedy fodder that gets lit up by the clearly better wrestlers. Nowadays, these guys are only used to show that you're on the same level as them. Squash matches are great when it's a superstar destroying a ham'n'egger.

I know this is a pipe dream and not likely at all, but it'd be a nice change of pace if the McMahons call out Bray Wyatt and company for not assisting in the beat down of Roman and / or Brock. And then Bray can stand up to him and look important for a change. And then Harper and Rowan can absorb the powers of the Undertaker and Kane and start doing choke slams and tombstones and they can important too. Wouldn't that nice?

Watt and RG3, two platitude-spewing attention whores in one place, would be amazing. They'll either be best friends or mortal enemies. Maybe they can get matching letterman jackets.Would any team go from irrelevant jojo to elite, delusional heel faster? If Bob goes there I'm rooting for them.(I'm referring to their heel status more than their success when I say elite) We're not irrelevant! We've been to the playoffs 3 out of the last five years!

I don't think there's any way in hell Johnny ends up in Houston other than to party. I don't think Bill O'Brien wants anything to do with RG3 either, but we're so QB starved who knows. I think we'll draft some no name QB in the 4th round and sign a McCown or some other shitty backup QB. That's what we do! Maybe Tom Savage is the answer. Most likely not, but hey, we don't know that yet!

That's ridiculous. No way the Texans draft a QB in the first round. I mean, come on!

Report: Texans to release Arian Foster. That's depressing. When healthy, he's the best damn RB in the league. I can see him extending his career as a 3rd Down pass catching RB and not taking as much punishment as an every down back. He's probably ending up in New England, huh?

Die Hoyer Die

Brian Hoyer is a Factory of Sadness

Clowney out. Not shocked.

my body is ready. Is it Saturday yet?

I'm excited for bonus football! People talk about the Chief's epic comeback from 1-5, but I think what the Texans and 5 different quarterbacks did coming back from 2-5 was bigger. Four of those losses were really blowouts (Chiefs, Panthers, Falcons and Dolphins). Sure, the scores ended up making it look closer than it was, but in reality, those games were mostly over by halftime. There was a complete turnaround on defense that can only really be explained by the benching of Rahim Moore (our prized FA acquisition - another Texans GM Rick Smith fail). Arguably, aside from JJ Watt, I'm not sure the Texans have another starter on defense starting right now that might start for another team (Maybe Johnathan Joseph, but he's old). And what Bill O'Brien did with Hoyer, Yates, and Weeden was the equivalent of turning chicken shit into a still pretty disgusting chicken salad, but maybe it won't make you throw up. Hell, if you throw out the whole Ryan Mallett experience, those three QBs all had winning records. I don't know what the chances are that the Texans beat the Chiefs, but I feel like we got a shot. And if we don't shoot ourselves in the foot on offense (that's a pretty large assumption), with this defense I think we can beat anyone. Let's get some more hats.

Re: Kansas City at Texans: see sig.

Texans control their own destiny. I'm not worried about the 8 other games that could go backwards and let the Clots limp into the playoffs. If the Texans play like they have been, a win at home against Jacksonville is doable, and that kills the damn 10 game parlay. Plus, we'd get to finish with a winning record, which, after Atlanta and Miami, seemed like a very distant dream. And, realistically, if Bill O'Brien can get this kind of winning production out of Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, TJ Yates, and Brandon Weeden (and the continued success of Case Keenum, Ryan Mallett, and Ryan Fitzpatrick), what the hell can he do with a real QB? Rumors of Drew Brees to the Texans next year are intriguing.