Greggulator

Annnnnd that's the Big E we need.

Anyone watching the Cesaro/Heyman press conference will see why Cesaro is so friggin' great as a heel. Oh my god, this is a master class in being a smug prick. Heyman is also terrific. "I have nothing but respect for you, ma'am. And I only have a little of that."

Maybe so, but it doesn't do anything for Bray Wyatt. He won via a diabolical, twisted plot. He found Cena's kryptonite.

For the "Cena always overcomes the odds" criticism -- So does Spiderman, Superman, etc. So did Hogan. He's the WWE's superhero. He's there to overcome the odds. But this time, it was one too many.

Okay, here is my review on Wyatt/Cena -- This match wasn't structured like a traditional wrestling match, obviously. This was a classic story format than anything else. It had an introduction, rising action (the villain can't beat Cena on his own so his goons get involved slowly over the match), the superhero who has overcome everything before fighting for his legacy like never before digging down deep, only to get me with the physical manifestation of everything he is fighting for turned against him, leading to his downfall. Then there's the denoument afterwards with the Little Johnny sheep mask promo.

Bryan explaining how he knows how to use a forklift!!! This is absolutely awesome.

This Daniel Brayn press conference that's on now is so, so, so great.

What an incredibly weird, bizarre and somewhat insane show. Kudos, WWE, for really going for something completely different and beyond "A lot of matches with weapons shots." 1) The pre-show WeeLC match was a really fun garbage car wreck. That was the only thing they can really hope for with something like that. 2) The Triple Threat match was fun. I didn't know (and I don't thing anyone knew) it was an elimination 3-way. But there were a lot of fun spots in it. That's the only real way to use RVD at this point -- just to have him do his spots and somehow his opponents have to try and put the actual storyline behind it. But it was solid. 3) The BoLieve promo with the pregnancy test is a high-water mark for comedy. 4) The Rusev match was exactly what was predicted. The "slamming Xavier's face against the exposed steel" didn't look as crazy as they thought it probably should have. A little surprised it didn't involve a Double Accolade. 4A) BIG UPS to Lana giving a shout-out to Vladimir Putin. That is so friggin' hilarious cheap heat. 5) Barrett vs. Big E was a really good match between two guys who know what they're doing. They should turn Big E heel, though. Or put him back to NXT for a little bit and bring him back with something else. But solid match. 6) Shield vs. Evolution was straight up Memphis/ECW and awesome. I think it's a shade down from The Shield vs. Wyatts matches -- the Evolution heat segments got a bit tedious at times, whereas those matches were just crazy throughout. But this was still aces. Rollins taking that dive was awesome. I love Ambrose, so much. 7) I imagine Wyatt vs. Cena will be the most polarizing match in ages. I'll write about that separately because I thought that match was really friggin' epic and crazy and not like anything else, ever. 8) Paige and Tamina REALLY went out there trying to steal the show. Good on them. Tamina swinging Paige into the ring railing was awesome. Paige is so, so, so good. 9) The Main Event was an Attitude Era garbage match. That's not exactly something I thought I'd ever see Daniel Bryan in. I think it's the best possible format for a match with Kane, though. The very end, though, with Kane's music and flames was dumb. Bryan won and should have walked out victorious.

Bray beat DB. And he did so by catching him during his dive and throwing his head against a railing in the best spot of the year, in what would have been the best match of the year if the Elimination Chamber match against The Shield didn't happen. Yeah, but both parties moved on like nothing happened? That's every feud, though. They're not unique in that.

Bray beat DB. And he did so by catching him during his dive and throwing his head against a railing in the best spot of the year, in what would have been the best match of the year if the Elimination Chamber match against The Shield didn't happen.

Talk about an oversell. He's not even close to the Mike Trout of wrestling. I like most of what he's done but I wonder if the Wyatt family really has legs. What's Bray Wyatt in 3 years? Barring injury I'm fairly certain Trout will be one of the top 3 players in baseball. I cannot say the same thing about Bray and the WWE.Plus he better not run this dumb singing into the ground. Bray Wyatt in three years is likely headlining WrestleMania. Maybe even before then.

ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER, PAYBACK 2013 -- This match is great. ADR looks like an absolute monster of a person in this. Not as in "he's a world beater" but he's a ruthless piece of human garbage who goes well beyond acceptable standards of competitive decency in order to win his title. Ricardo is such an awesome, sad little man whose only sense of worth comes form his boss's success. AJ puts in A+ work as the concerned girlfriend. Great booking decision to have Big E get thrown out in the match early (for showing concern) -- it explains why he's not involved early and also adds to the sympathy that Dolph gets. And that's what this match is about. Dolph gets sympathy from the audience. Austin/Bret is the standard-bearer for the Double Turn. But in that match, Austin proves without a shadow of a doubt that he is the toughest SOB who ever lived and you have to come so close to flat-out killing him in order to stop him. Whereas Bret ends the match like a true bully crybaby who is pissed he got outshined even in triumph. This is different. The audience, in this, feels bad for Dolph. It's super admirable he's in this match, and hitting a late Zig Zag. People should be able to earn respect in a battle between two ruthless alpha males. But earning sympathy? That's a lot more difficult in many ways.

Here's an article I wrote about the meanings, mysteries, wonders and juxtapositions of Bray Wyatt!

LINE CUTTER! The NBA is a little bit better when Portland has a good team. Those crowds are great. Such a fun team.

Bo Dallas' new theme song is called "Shoot for the Stars." That is all.

The six-man on Smackdown is ridiculously good. Super stiff, brutal, crazy bumps, etc. The Wyatts lay the faces to waste post-match. Big ups to Jimmy Uso, who was willing to take a year or two off of his life when eating one of the most insane lariats in years from Harper, just a few minutes after he out-Dustined/Rollins'd on a Sister Abigail. Lana talks about the foolishness of sanctions against Mother Russia. AWESOME. I can't wait to write a think piece for Foriegn Affairs about this. Rusev also risks lifelong mobility taking a back bump to the floor. Kudos, Rusev.

I loved it when Carlito poisoned Big Show with his apple. Carlito's shirt was also really cool.

My alma La Salle is chasing this kid hard. He's from Senegal and has played basketball for less than two years. He's 7'5", still growing. He wears crazy goggles when he plays. He's from Senegal. He has a 4.0 GPA. He goes by the name "Tacko." I have never wanted to land a recruit more than this kid.

Bray also had an out prepared to deal with the possible Husky chants. He had some crazy backstory where Husky got possessed by a demon that transformed him into Bray. He even responds to tweets asking him about it stuff like "I NEEDED A VESSEL!"

The WWE After Raw DVD looks fun... But imagine how much better an "ECW After The Show" DVD would have been?

What dastardly heel is going to hide in the bunny suit to attack Adam Rose first?

Last time he was a whitebread babyface. Now he's a heel who thinks he's a whitebread babyface. So Kurt Angle circa 1999? It's not too far from that. Bo's somehow even less self-aware. His new entrance also gives it this really great, irritating New Age vibe.

The BO DALLAS/TYSON KIDD match was decent enough. Bo's new entrance video is so ridiculous in the best way possible. I'd write more but I did earlier and then I did something dumb and lost what I wrote. Trust me when I tell you it was scintillating. SASHA BANKS vs. BAYLEY is really, really good. Wow. There's not one wasted moment in this. The agents or whoever told these girls "You have eight minutes so GO" and that's what they did. Bayley controls most of the match with her really fun offense, some of which is based around hugs. She eventually hits the Belly-To-Bayley suplex, but Sasha sneaks out of the ring and necksnaps Bayley across the top rope. She hits BANKRUPT (some neckbreaker thing) for what's the finish... only Bayley kicks out!!! Sasha then wins with a dope backstabber that she rolls into a crossface-type thing for the tap out. Great finish. Huge props to Steven Regal for saying sarcastically calling one of the other announcers "Oscar Wilde" during the Rose/Danny Birch match. This is an Adam Rose squash and it's fun. He has a new finisher which is a cutter-type thing called The Party Foul. SO great. His coterie comes out to party and CAMACHO jumps the dude dressed as a luchador, prompting the bunny to look on in both dismay and concern. This is an A+++ gif, for those interested. Nattie's promo for the woman's title is awful. Ugh. Layla's is a bit better but the face she makes at the end is so hysterically weird. I mostly just watched the GSW/Clips game during this. ADRIAN NEVILLE talks up his match against BRODUS. I really like what he's done since winning the title. He's showing some good babyface spitfire. Short, sweet and to the point. OLIVER GREY is taking on MOJO RAWLEY. Here's the thing about Mojo and the backlash against him and a conundrum with NXT. Mojo's really green. I mean, ridiculously green. He's had less than 20 TV matches, probably. Maybe even closer to 10. And how many house show matches has he had? He's straight up a guy who they grabbed from football and are trying to turn into a wrestler. Everyone else has had years of experience in their craft. Aiden English wrestled in Chicago indies and the like, for instance. Adam Rose has been around for years as Kruger. Bo Dallas, too. The WWE is going to have more and more of these types of guys come up through their system. Guys who come up from the indies don't know how to work a TV match but they at least know how to pace and structure a match. But Mojo? He's learning this right now. As we watch. It's pretty fascinating to see it develop. And he has the important part, the unteachable part, down -- he gets reactions. I do wish he'd get past his ass-based offense, though. AIDEN ENGLISH comes out! "I am done suffering fools!" He demands Mojo leave his "canvas" for a real auteur. He then blindsides Rawley, who sends him out of the ring. This could end up as a fun little feud. Mojo's first, I believe. ADRIAN NEVILLE vs. BRODUS was a blast. It follows the small babyface vs. big heel storyline perfectly. Neville starts off with kicks and a flurry and a crazy plancha to the floor. Clay gets control and looks like a beast in doing so. Clay thinks he has the win after following a really stiff powerbomb with a splash from the second rope. Neville BARELY kicks out. Clay goes to the floor and grabs the NXT title -- it's NO DQ -- and goes to crown Neville with it. Neville instead Superkicks the belt into Clay's face, sending him to the mat. Neville then hits The Red Arrow from the top, onto the title, for the win. Nice touch using the title belt there as the weapon of choice. Good show!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w1VSSzLqd4#t=385 Rollins and Ambrose on another morning show to promote. These are my favorite things.

Ah! Did you go to Malvern yet? I work near there. It's a suburb of Philly. If you can, go to the city. You can take the regional rail right into downtown Philly. You can also drive if you wish. Without traffic, you can make it to Center City, Philly in 30-35 minutes. If you don't feel like going all the way into the city, you can drive down Lancaster Ave. into "The Main Line" which are the haughty taughty suburbs. All sorts of nice restaurants and shops and the like. You're right by there. There's also a "downtown Malvern" that supposedly has some nice shops and places to eat. I haven't been, though.