Greggulator

My wife and I are trying to go to every park. I think we're past the halfway point. I'll do a review of each stadium later. But the latest we checked off was the new Yankee Stadium. We saw Sox/Yanks there this weekend. Overall: THIS PLACE IS A TURD! I'll ignore the prices because it's New York and the Yankees and expected. The exterior of the stadium is gross. Most of the new stadiums (started from, say, Camden Yards on) have an exterior that is airy and welcoming and lets you see into the park from outside. It provides excitement and color when you head out of a vast sea of parking lots. Yankee Stadium is a giant concrete slab. The exterior architecture also makes it super claustrophobic and weird when getting through security. Finally inside, you then have to walk a few flights to get onto the concourse level. The food options are essentially "food." There's nothing local about the place -- Citi Field has Shake Shack and stuff like that. CBP has cheesesteaks and a bunch of other local things. It's the same with so many other stadiums! Yankee Stadium is essentially just Aramark stuff. Our seats were in the upper deck nosebleeds and they felt like 50,000,000 miles away. I usually sit in nosebleed seats. These were just so far away and awful. I was closer to the field when I sat at the rooftop decks at Wrigley. Like significantly closer. There's no aesthetic inside the park, either There's also no real history at the park save for a few banners and things like that. I missed the Yankee Museum at the park so I might have missed something. I am not saying that as some crazy Yankee hater or anything. I grew up a Yankee fan until I settled here in Philly. My family are all Yankees fans. I grew up going to the original Yankee Stadium. A lot of the key moments of my life revolve around Yankees games and moments. I'm not a Yankees fan anymore but I'm not an avid Yankees hater. The Yankees have every financial advantage imaginable AND have a history of tradition and grandeur. They spend hundreds of millions of dollars and ended up with what's essentially the CVS of baseball stadiums.

I just skimmed through this episode. There's some really fun stuff. Cesaro/Show was a pretty interesting match. Show was in control most of the match but Cesaro kept on going back to his sleeper hold. I don't know if it will be on the actual version, since I watched on Daily Motion and the feed was weird, but that was per Heyman's instructions to "take his air." From a kayfabe strategy point of view, that was a really smart decision, if not the most exciting. Swagger did his run-in into the ankle lock right when Cesaro was about to do The Swing. Show got up and laid out Swagger, only to meet an uppercut (I think) and it ending with a Neutralizer that was pretty nuts. I love that Cesaro hasn't hit the swing once since being dubbed The King Of Swing. The payoff when he hits it on Show is going to be terrific. The Cena promo was a fun John face spot. He put over pretty much everyone and everything since WrestleMania (including Paige, Cesaro, Lesnar, The Shield) but talked about how he was still the measuring stick. We then had a GLURRRRTTT leading to another Wyatt promo. Bray finally sees that Cena isn't this empty shell of corporatism. He saw it in Cena's eyes. He sees in Cena's eyes what he sees in his -- the good, the bad, and all points in between. "I see dreams you haven't dreamed and planets you haven't discovered. I SEE MIRACLES! My mind is endless and I... am... free." Oh, and also in this, Bray also hints at whatever tragic childhood he had while also mocking Cena's Never Give Up stuff -- "I don't feel pain. I... I'm different. And we should celebrate our differences, right, kids?" Bray knows the monster lurks within John's soul and needs to go to new extremes to unleash it. It ends with him singing "He's got the whole world in his hands." I loved Raven back in the day, when he'd say his friggin' Patrick Swayze in Point Break guru stuff while hinting at the pain of his childhood and Tommy Dreamer's betrayal. Bray's about 50,000,000 times better than Raven. And I loved Raven. This is next level stuff. The Hogan/Bryan segment wasn't much besides Hulk Hogan doing the YES! chant and Bryan getting just as big -- if not a bigger -- pop than friggin' Hulk Hogan. The final match was a lot of fun. Jimmy Uso (I think?) has his ribs bandaged from taking the powerbomb on the steps on Raw. The heels target that. Bryan and Jay do great apron work while the veteran heels just go after the ribs in a bunch of cut-off spots. JBL puts over Randy's ring presence in this, as Orton always stays between his opponent and the corner -- like a defender in basketball, who should always stay between his man and the hoop. Awesome. Bryan gets the tag, does his comeback, fun dive sequence before it the ref tosses the match due to losing control on the floor. The heels have advantage in the brawl. Kane's about to take out Bryan through a table when The Shield show up (without SIERRA!) and take him out as Batista and Orton bail. Seth stood on the rope right after the triple powerbomb and yelled at Orton and Batista. "THIS IS YOUR FUTURE!" It's here.

Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon made a career out of sniping at each other. Jesse Ventura did a ton of that, too. It's just that these guys aren't nearly as good as those guys (no one is) and it's passe. They're just following a trope that maybe should be forgotten.

Uhm, JBL is a heel who constantly touts his agreement with The Authority. He's even the NXT Commissioner, which they gave to him as a means to humiliate Dusty during that angle. He SHOULD be running down D-Bry. And he has said stuff like "The fairy tale continues" and the like. Cole hasn't been burying him at all but has harped up his accomplishments. The only really bad part of the announce team is Lawler and that's just because he doesn't add anything except a few awful jokes and creepy comments about the divas. I mean, these guys aren't JR or Bobby Heenan or Gordon Solie or anything. But they're not Schiavonne/Zbysco or Crockett anything truly awful. More just eh. As far as the complaints about them plugging stuff constantly -- well, the WWE is a business. If they weren't trying to sell people on the App or the Network there would be a major problem. There's no difference between that and whatever 80s announcer saying "Be there at the Norfolk Scope this Saturday night!" They're salespeople, first and foremost.

I think Eddy/Art Barr vs. Santo/Octagon would be perfectly fine in isolation. But if you understand the backstory -- Eddy and Santo's father, Art Barr being a scumbag, etc. -- then it all of a sudden becomes arguably the greatest match of all-time

Knowing the characters and the like really does help in that match. I thought it was a really great Three Act Play as a wrestling match. The first part ended as a draw between both teams, with everyone showing their stuff perfectly. The second act saw the violence heightened (started by Seth Rollins, the "architect" of The Shield who knows what has to get done to win matches) and end with a really great table spot. The third act was Roman Reigns, who set the record for most eliminations at The Royal Rumble and took our four dudes at Survivor Series and has been pinned only once in his career, finally succumb to the odds of a more powerful entity. If you watch that match in a vacuum it's not like WOAH! But we don't really live in those days any more. I used to love a Rey vs. Dean match on Nitro or something like that where they had these awesome matches just to have them but without a lot of purpose. Or I used to watch some random Japan stuff without knowing any of the backstory. But that stuff now -- it's still great and fun but there's a way to have awesome stories AND awesome matches. But knowing the story is pretty key to enjoying the match. I think the announcers can do a better job filling in those dots to explain things away. I don't hate the announce team nearly as much as everyone else (aside from Jerry Lawler, who is beyond useless) but they need to tell the stories in a better fashion to explain what's going on to newer fans.

Also, the Network and other stuff also adds all of these awesome bells-and-whistles to the content. All of the Michael Cole fireside chats and the Raw Backstage stuff really adds so much to the content. Like Paige crying backstage as all the other divas hug her after she won the title and The Shield's awesome "Triple Double" argument when Renee interviewed them at WrestleMania are so great. And then there's stuff like the JBL and Cole Show, too. They've really figured out a perfect way to boost the regular programming with extra stuff. The Network is a total game changer. I was talking with someone who doesn't know a thing about wrestling but is a total media nerd. I told him about all of the programming -- every PPV ever, new PPVs, other shows -- and his mind was blown. No one has ever controlled both the content and distribution of a product like this before. And at the same time, they have a live TV product as a sort of loss leader (although it might end up getting hundreds of millions in a contract). It's seriously just an amazing time to be a wrestling fan. There's so much awesome talent anchored by a crop of young guys who are just tremendous.

I saw Batista say somewhere that he shakes the ropes in homage to The Ultimate Warrior. Bryan's comeback -- his adrenaline rush to start the comeback, when he shakes wildly before starting what are usually his corner dropkicks -- also definitely has an Ultimate Warrior influence to it, too. Bryan said somewhere that Ultimate Warrior was his favorite wrestler as a kid and he may have taken from that. It's really interesting now that I think of it that way. I love The Warrior but in a weird ironic way. I love his insane promos (and milked them in my amateur comedy career) but he wasn't any good in the ring, save for a few moments. But it's really interesting to see that guys of the modern era do see something to take from him. He could do a great Hulk Up sorta that got the fans behind him, and there's certainly something that requires craft to that, which I never really considered.

1) The in-ring quality from the past two years has been absolutely fantastic. You can probably start off at Summerslam 2013, which is when the big arching story we're in now started. That's when Daniel Bryan defeated John Cena, which led to HHH costing him the belt via the Money In The Bank Briefcase deus-ex-machina and giving it to Randy Orton. If you can focus out the noise of the news sites and rumblings and other such, then you'll see a ridiculously well-done, intricately told story that took several months from start-to-finish. And along the way there are a ton of amazing moments and matches. The Rhodes Brothers stuff is right up your alley in terms of an angle, if you like 80s type of stuff. It was a great angle that had two really high-end matches. 2) There has been a terrific paradigm shift over that time period where a lot of new characters have debuted and really made their claim. The Shield came in before SummerSlam but cemented themselves as The Authority's henchmen afterwards. Roman Reigns became the next big thing and an awesome power guy. Eventually, personal jealousies among The Shield threatened to tear them apart. But that led to each member really developing their personalities. Thankfully, they stayed together and just cemented an awesome face turn a few months in the making. 3) The best new characters are The Wyatt Family. They're a backwoods religious cult come to see the world burn. Their leader is Bray Wyatt, the real life son of Mike Rotunda. There are very few people who have absolutely nailed a character as well as he has right from the bat. He's the best mic worker in the company. If you follow baseball, someone on here hailed him as the Mike Trout of wrestling. If that doesn't do a thing for you, think of it as this -- he's 26-years-old and already a fantastic promo and character. He has "next Jake The Snake" or "Undertaker" potential. He also looks like someone you'd see back in the day, as he's not some bodybuilder -- he's a short-ish fat dude. But he can really work and has been in some fantastic matches. His match against Daniel Bryan is one of the five best matches of the year. What's even crazier, he might not even be the best wrestler in his stable. His minion Luke Harper is a ridiculously talented monster big man who plays the hypnotized follower to perfection. Their other wrestler, Erik Rowan, started off pretty green and is now another legitimately great monster who has the added benefit of wearing this creepy sheep mask. A lot of smarks were pissed about the Bryan/Bray feud, because it took Bryan away from the title chase and he was being "buried" or what have you. If you can ignore that (and, really, everyone should) then you'll see it as a great diversion angle during Bryan's quest. Along the way, Bryan joined the Wyatt Family in the wrestling equivalent of the end of The Empire Strikes Back before revealing it was a plot to get Bray one-on-one that ended in the biggest pop in a decade. It was a fantastic, all-time great moment. 4) The Shield and The Wyatt Family teased a rivalry in the fall that had everyone bugging out. Things finally happened between the two stables starting in the winter, when The Wyatts attacked John Cena (Bray's opponent at WM) but cost The Shield a chance to win the World Title at The Elimination Chamber. Their feud was just super simple stuff -- both stables cutting promos on each other (Dean Ambrose in The Shield is so friggin' awesome and his partners in Roman and Seth Rollins have become great, too) and having stand-offs. But the charisma and fantastic characters involved made this the best feud of the decade. Their first match was at the Elimination Chamber PPV and is an all-time classic match. Legitimately, if you don't like that match then there's nothing that can be done for you. It's a lot of people's Match Of The Decade. They had a rematch on Raw two weeks later that was nearly as great. And their third rematch was on WWE Main Event this week and was also fantastic. All three matches are completely different from each other, too. The WWE has really become a great place for tag team and six-man wrestling. It's so much like the NWA in that way. 5) Another amazing young star is Cesaro. Cesaro is just a ridiculously talented strength-based wrestler. His feats of strength are just unreal. He's also been in a ton of fantastic, amazing matches. He's a total throwback to guys from back in the day. He's had five matches within the past calendar year -- Two on NXT vs. Sami Zayn, one on NXT against Steven Regal, one against John Cena on Raw and one against Randy Orton on Smackdown -- that are fantastic. 6) What's NXT, you ask? It's the WWE's minor league. It's a total throwback to old syndicated wrestling shows. Their one hour long and filled with some really fun characters and some very good matches. Most of the performers aren't as polished as their big show counterparts but are fantastic. 7) The Usos are the next great Samoans, which any old wrestling fan should love. They're the best tag team in the league right now, in a world that includes The Shield and The Wyatts and a bunch of other fun pairings. They're somehow both really strong and can also fly. They also have a ridiculously great entrance and produce non-stop quality matches. 8) Paul Heyman is an amazing manager. I know I'm probably forgetting a ton. But I think the WWE has been better than it ever has been right now.

Out comes BO DALLAS and this is MAGNIFICENT! Bo talks about the YES! Movement and how he occupied Raw despite only being a B+ player. Bo talks about the BO! Movement and invites his Bo-Lievers to join him in the ring to Occupy NXT! The entire arena, instead, chants "NO" and turns their back on Bo! "I GAVE YOU COOKIES!" That is how he starts his emotional breakdown. Bo is the absolute king. He just rants and cries and whines. "I LOVED YOU! I WAS THERE FOR YOU! I GAVE YOU COOKIES!" He tries to convince himself a "NO MO BO CHANT!" is actually a "LET'S GO BO!" chant! And out comes JBL! "You couldn't occupy a see-saw!" And JBL brings out... Justin Gabriel? This is actually a really fun match pitting Justin Gabriel's acrobatics and Bo's slow-down, methodical sneaky style. Man, Gabriel has some REALLY fun offense here -- springboard crossbodies, etc. Bo only gets his offense in via his horseshit cheapshot stuff. But Gabriel has him scouted and has a counter for everything Bo is trying to do. At the end, Bo dodges a really great looking springboard moonsault and hits his double-arm DDT for the win. This was a solid match. My only gripe: I wish Bo would have won by falling into the ropes to counter the moonsault. That's more of the Bo template -- a mysterious turnbuckle missing, a trip on the apron, etc. But this is still a sneaky win. Fun little match.

ADAM ROSE comes out with the party train. Man, this entrance rules and dude can work. At the very least, he's Fandango. The former Tensai boasts about having gone to an Adam Rose party. Awesome. This is a quick squash of Danny Birch. He uses some sort of elbow drop from the top finisher. If he can figure out a really good, cool finisher for the character than this is going to be a lot of fun. I sorta wish he'd hang around NXT for a while just to get those basics down. But I'm really happy for Rose/Kruger/whatever his real name is. The guy has put in a lot of time and deserves a spot. Even if he doesn't go on to have a huge career, he'll at least have a FUN run of things. That's why NXT is important. Not everyone is going to come out of NXT as Bray Wyatt or Seth Rollins or Big E. Some people are just going to be "eh" guys to round out the roster. But I'd rather have a guy like Adam Rose over someone like Justin Gabriel or Tyson Kidd. Kidd's a top-quality guy in-ring but he has nothing other than that. That's fine. About 15 years ago I'd be storming the forts demanding a Tyson Kidd push. But it's not 2000 anymore and I don't care about that stuff as much. Whatever this girl's name is interviews a referee about his "controversial" decision to award Corey Graves the match last week due to Sami Zayn's concussion. The ref explained it very well and clearly, emphasizing how important safety is. Corey Graves is interviewed next and, in 45 seconds, makes himself out as such an awesome jerk. First he sexually harasses the interview girl. And then he calls Barry Bonds the undisputed home run king. And he says this without any hint of winking irony or a joke. He comes off like a total dick. Good for him. He's figured out his personal code these past few weeks. BAILEY comes out to her bouncy synth-pop. It sort of sounds a bit like The Rentals. This is a total compliment. I've listened to the first Rentals album, oh, a few million times and it is so awesome. It came out in '96, years before every idiot who had the money to buy a synth and record on a Mac machine put stuff out. I saw the Rentals on their reunion tour in 2006. It was a great show. I went with my wife one week before our wedding. After the show, I heard a familiar voice. It was my ex-girlfriend, a girl who spent about a year or so trying to (and doing a great job of) ruining my life. She was very excited to see me and talked to me for a bit. She was with some friend of hers I barely remember. "This is Gregg. You know. THE Gregg." The last time I ever communicated with this person was in e-mail about a half decade before that and it included various reiterations of "I hope you fucking die" and the like. Yet now I somehow have an article placed in front of my name, said with exclamation. This is not something you want to hear in front of your fiance one week before your wedding. I really don't miss being 21. At all. But go get the first Rentals album and the second, too. You'll learn which songs to skip -- there are like five or six really good ones and the rest is filler. This is going to shock you, but Bailey's facing SASHA BANKS in the never ending feud. I love Bailey so much. And I love Sasha, too. But come on, let's get some new blood up, NXT. Sasha's got this punch thing she does that's like Ambrose's pillhead Thez Press deal. I really like it a lot. The end sequence to this match is REALLY rad. Just watch it. I can't really explain it. But it's so good and fun. I know Sasha's become sort of the jobber of the NXT divas but she's so friggin' good. I really hope we start seeing things like "We wish Aksana well in her future endeavors" and get the worthless crap out of the WWE divas division. A few of the people who were truly worthless -- the Bellas, Nattie -- have stepped up recently and I'll give them respect. I think there might be some money in an all-Divas wrestling show. NOT Total Divas, obvious. But a Main Event but for women. Get these girls branded, especially for young female fans (and they're out there) and go from there. A division of AJ/Paige/Emma/Summer/Bailey/Sasha/Charlotte/Nattie/Bellas is a really good start. SYLVESTER LAFORT comes out for a match with no pomp nor circumstances. A sad turn of events from his previous status. Out comes everyone's favorite, MOJO RAWLEY with his crazy entrance. You know what I like that you should like? Kids love him. This lasts like 30 seconds with Mojo hitting his stuff and getting the win. Brodus comes out and powerbombs Lafort and splashes him. He grabs the mic and calls out Adrian Neville. He gets his wish. Neville has on a button down Fred Perry-type thing and grey slacks -- the ideal casual workplace attire if you have a cool boss. They exchange words and Clay walks off. Devin's in the back with a returning OLIVER GREY. But before he can get a word, out comes CAMACHO all dudded up. "Adam Rose, life's not all about party rocking!" He talks about how he had to survive every day. Oliver interrupts him. This sets up a match for next week. There's a Wrestlemania NXT Axess thing. You know what these are like by now. Devin's out with THE GREAT KHALI. Oh no, please, no. OH WAIT -- Bailey comes out to give him a hug! "You're so tall! And slippery!" Now, CJ Parker comes out with his high school dipshit Phish fan knit cap to talk about the garbage Khali must produce. Khali says something incomprehensible to him. Bailey: "I got this! I've been taking Punjabi lessons!" Khali challenged CJ to a match. Awww, that became super adorable and lovely! So fun! NXT can also make me not hate something with Khali! MORE TO COME BECAUSE THE NETWORK STOPPED WORKING FOR ME!

The Shield are so awesome as faces. I can just see this is how these dudes act with each other all of the time. They're somehow goofballs and badasses all at once.

This was really well done. I love how they're able to blend Bryan's actual backstory into the kayfabe "will he win?" thing. The reality era, indeed.

I think the no blood policy and concussion testing and banning head/neck bumps and reducing the amount of insane spots will go a long way towards these guys staying healthy for a longer period of time. Steroids and growth hormones are another thing entirely. It's great that a guy like Daniel Bryan can have an athletic build -- not a bodybuilder build -- and be on top of the show. But steroids aren't always used for bodybuilding. I think the number one thing, though, that needs to happen for WWE workers is to have the number of house shows reduced. That schedule is insane. It's just constant travel. Trying to work out and get healthy sleep and eat right on the road sounds like a Herculean task. And that's not even considering the stress that must put on just having a normal family life. I have no idea how important live shows are to the WWE's bottom line. But the trade-off of having your top performers last longer and stay on screen to help sell commercials and get Network subscriptions has to be worth the sacrifice of house show gates in Hidalgo, Texas and Chatanooga. (That's their back-to-back this weekend.)

Found his response! Gregg, hello. Thanks for the info. I'm not sure 5' by 5' would work...I would have to see the image of what you would like done. If the image works for an exact square, we could go with it, but, usually, this is not the case. A more rectangular canvas might work better. I also need to see the image to know if watercolors would work over the oils, especially at that size. You won;t find too many watercolor portraits at that size because the intensity of watercolors, at that size, does not match the intensity and richness you can get out of oils -- and with the way I use my knife, a portrait at that size would EXPLODE off the canvas, I can promise you that. The price for something that size would not be cheap, no less than a few thousand dollars, probably even more. I can know from looking at the image. My 42 x70 INCH oil/knife portrait canvases sale for between 5K and 10K.. Let me know. Always Believe, Warrior

I'm trying to find the rest of our correspondence. A few years ago, I e-mailed The Ultimate Warrior about painting a family portrait of my wife, myself and our dog. This was his response: Gregg, hello. Thanks for being a fan. I appreciate that you were. It was great and inspiring time for all of us. The experiences, lessons, and memories of it all still inspire me today to get everything thing I can out of my life and live with intensity. I do commissions, yes. The price would depend on the size and whether you wanted an ink and watercolor piece or a knife/oil piece. Let me know. Thanks for your inquiry. Always Believe, Warrior

I think La Salle plays them this year at home. I really, really, really hope any boneheads in the student section don't chant any awful stuff at him.

I got the feeling during that promo that Ambrose was doing his absolute best to fuck around with Reigns and Rollins. The only thing I really want in wrestling anymore are matches where Ambrose is a face-in-peril who sells tongue injuries and stuff like that.

What's the general word on the douchiness of these spoilers?

Because he's 54 and wrestling's a fucked up industry?

That was the first thing that I thought, too. Either that or some sort of steroid/drug use derivative thing.

WTF? That's crazy. I really hope this doesn't end up in some crazy scandal.

I wrote that review before I saw the post-match promo. Absolutely fantastic work. Ambrose is at his absolute best in this, trying to talk but selling (I think?) a broken rib and choking when trying to find the words. Reigns kicks some game to Renee. And Rollins brings the fire. I believe, guys. I believe.

This match is SO friggin' great and absolutely nothing like their first two matches. It's worked more traditionally than the other two. The Shield are clear faces in this. Ambrose is an amazing dirtbag Ricky Morton as he works a hot tag for so long and just eats so much stuff from The Wyatts. There's a ton of other great stuff in this. Reigns sails backwards over the announcer's table after Harper dives through the ropes onto him. Rollins has his awesome offense throughout this and hits two beautiful dives. There's just all sorts of awesome. The end sequence is really great. The Shield have had nothing but great end sequences and this is at the top of the list. Ambrose hits the Dirty Deeds (I LOVE that name) for the win on Rowan -- a great touch since he got the crap beat out of him the whole match. I think it's the third of the series. Some of the execution was a bit off -- nothing too bad but slightly noticeable. Also, the crowd was a snoooze for this in the beginning for some reason. But they got super into it by the end since all six of these guys are absolutely fantastic. A definite keeper.

I just hate-watched Jobs. Oh dear lord was that thing a piece of garbage. I have never seen a movie quite like this. It's somehow, all at once, incredibly pompous, cliched, poorly executed and boring. Everything about this is just awful. Must watch.