Hamhock

That’s awesome - please do!

Make sure you prime the lawnmower before trying to start it.

Since this thread invoked Roger Ebert, I’ll use that as an excuse to link to his classic, utterly disgusted review of the movie North; here’s a highlight: Thumbs down, indeed.

If Sami and Owens indeed did a "loser leaves" stipulation match, I'd want whomever of them loses to immediately return as El Generico. Imagine a delusional-heel Owens in the Generico mask, clubberin' people.

I just want Cena to tap out in his final match in December. Imagine the heat for a heel to be the one who makes Cena submit/quit; he could then wear/sell parody Never Give Up t-shirts, the whole shebang.

I've put all of the complete Rumbles that WWE/WWE Vault have uploaded into one playlist to make it easier to find them; as more are put up I'll keep adding them to it: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCiwtq_2vpmrrLASnfQC0ihP20TsRxLJf&feature=shared

Nia wins the women's Rumble to piss off the crowd; then two months of an interminable series of running/clubbering sneak-attacks to the back of Rhea's skull while Rhea stands with her back to the entrance ramp, like they did last year. I assume Reigns and Jacob will both fall out together and fight to the back or something. Strap a rocket to Bron and have him win the men's Rumble and challenge Gunther. Gunther costs Bron the IC title on RAW vs. Penta to heat that up. Punk / Seth / Drew / Sami / Cena / Owens at Elimination Chamber to face Cody at WM.

Very much in the spirit of Heenan at the end of this Glamour Girls/Bomb Angels tag match, where he and Monsoon argue about the lack of tag:

Oddly enough….

The greatest Baseball Hall of Fame induction speech ever; 15 minutes of deadpan humor:

Comic Sans implies the existence of Comic Serif.

That was one of my favorite quirks - whatever IRC channel I was part of would do matchups of created wrestlers, so I'd just give mine only chokeholds, clawholds and headlocks for their moves; the opponent would be drained to 0% within a minute and then a simple impact finisher like a body slam would end it.

That was such a staple of 70s/80s wrestling - the face threatening to stomp the heel's nuts and the crowd urging him; the heel with the wild "NO NO PLEASE NO!" gesturing, etc. I can only remember it actually happening once, when Tonga Kid had that crazy tv match with Piper that ends with him smashing Piper with a chair repeatedly and all the heels rushing in to separate them:

I’ll assume: Rhea wins belt Punk/Rollins double DQ/no-contest Solo beats Roman via Rock interference

It’s not a fair comparison due to the city size, but according to History of WWE, on 11/10/84 Hogan was in Salt Lake City drawing 6,700 while Slaughter/JYD vs. Sheik/Volkoff at the Philly Spectrum drew 19,699.

…and the greatest shoulder block ever delivered on a baseball field: Imagine being so good that you can put a bunt down exactly where it needed to be to do that.

Totally agree - same thing when they don’t struggle when hoisted up/cinched for certain finishers. Rollins is someone who does a nice job of that, either kicking his legs or flailing his arms in a “oh no oh shit oh no” sort of way. I always liked how Iron Sheik tried to fight out during the entire pinfall when he dropped the belt to Hogan (who had a full cradle hold on him, which I don’t recall seeing him do ever again after the leg drop).

Or give him a little limp and JR’s hat, and repackage him as Hopalong Cassidy.

Aw, I was trying to get the folks to chuckle a bit, not advocate for creepy fetishists.

All of the heart punch and “punched in the implant” comments have led me to request that the following occurs in 2025: A Misawa-esque “heart punch, heart punch, rolling heart punch” combination A terrible indie-rific endless heart punch exchange ala forearm/chop exchange A Von Erich gimmick women’s wrestler who does both (1) a discus heart punch, and (2) an implant iron claw where the opponent submits to avoid their implant from rupturing

Until this past Raw, I’d say it was even money as to which one of Punk or Rollins will eventually turn heel, but it does seem like it definitely will be Rollins now.

My favorite DDTs were the ones delivered in 1990s All-Japan and New Japan matches, because eventually one of the announcers would scream “DDTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” for the entirety of the pinfall.

Bruised/Abraded Taint; out 8-12 weeks