Fuzzy Dunlop

Give or take an inch, aren't Hornswoggle and Big E the same size?

Bergkamp! Knew I forgot someone. As a United fan, I know I was supposed to dislike Arsenal but Bergkamp was pretty much a genius. Davids too; agreed on that mid 90s Ajax team, I could pretty much name their starting XI from their European Cup final win off the top of my head. Even with Liverpool and a dude like Suarez, I find myself going 'fuck he's good' on a frequent basis. It's like 'Jesus Christ, when you're that good, why do you have to be such a cunt sometimes, dammit?' I find myself wishing he played for United at times.

1. The Wire 2. Breaking Bad 3. Deadwood 4. The Sopranos 5. Game of Thrones In that order. I think The Wire will pretty much always be unfuckwithable at number one on the list. Few years back I was one of those super annoying Wire nerds that talked constantly about how good it was and urged everyone I knew to watch it but, whatever, the more people I got to watch it, the better, The more I watch it, the more I love the second series. Frank Sobotka is pretty much one of my all time favourite characters.

Holy fuck. Besides the point, anything wrong with wearing a hairnet and paper hat at work? A job is a job is a job. Ric Flair is Ric Flair, he's the greatest wrestler that ever lived. Charlotte is an athletic women's wrestler but so was Michelle McCool.

Random question: favourite players from teams you don't actually support? Batigol When I was, I dunno, 12 or some shit, would copy the crap out of his smash-the-fuck-out-of-the-ball-so-hard-that-both-feet-are-off-the-ground-when-you-hit-it routine. Alas, I could only dream of being as cool as Batistuta, a dude who built a career out of 'have some of that, ya cunt' EAT MY GOAL goals, including this one against United which made me both weep and applaud at the same time: Loved the crap out of Football Italia on Channel 4 back in the day (James Richardson remains probably the best sports TV show host that there's ever been) and you had dudes like Casiraghi and Del Piero and Ravanelli and whatnot featured but Batistuta was the coolest motherfucker that ever lived back then. Original fat assed Ronaldo Essentially missed 2-3 years of his career through injury and but for this, I remain convinced he would pretty much have been top 5 of all time. At his best, guy was devastatingly frighteningly good. Romario World Cup 94 was my first World Cup, Romario was cool as fuck during it. That's all I got. I do also recall him and Stoichkov et al shitting all over United when Barca beat them 4-0 in the European Cup though and remember my 9 year old self wondering what the fuck I just saw. In those words too, I thought 'what the fuck did I just see?' I have others, Messi is obvious, random chap like Peter Beardsley wouldn't be so obvious.

Ending was the Game of Thrones equivalent of this: 'When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.' I dunno, maybe Oberyn didn't have it on his Netflix account or something. Alas, too late now. Goddamn at that ending though and Goddamn them for making me invest in characters and then punching me in the spuds in brutal fashion. Obviously Tyrion doesn't die though, he's too integral a character on the show. I figure he somehow escapes next week, possibly with Jaime's help. But if they were to kill off any one of Tyrion/Hound/Arya, I may be forced to do something drastic, like post about it on the internet. Killing boring shits like Robb Stark is fine but keep away from my triumvirate, dammit.

Holy crap at Lester in smug prick mode. That smirk in the police corridor at the start. Feeling the need to throw in 'you know you're not half the man your brother is' during his interview. Getting his end away with Hess' wife while staring at a picture of him. Goddamn. Probably not going to work out well for you in the end though, pal. Loved the scene with Malvo fucking shit up in the Fargo building with the mirrored windows. It'd have been easy (well, not easy, but you know what I mean) to just show all the blood and carnage but I dug imagining it instead. Not that I'm some kinda sociopath that frequently imagines blood and carnage but, again, you know what I mean. Everyone in it is pretty great, agreed on Tolman and you know the cast is great when Carradine's only been the 7th or 8th best person in it (although as said, he needs more to do obviously) and you know a show is great when I don't mind Colin Hanks that much, a guy who is usually acting narcolepsy and who if you cut open would bleed beige. Even minor characters in somewhat minor scenes have impressed me, I've found myself re-watching the scene from a couple episodes back with Hanks' neighbour telling the parable of the rich man who gave everything away including his life because I thought dude who played the neighbour was really good in it. 'Only a fool thinks he can solve the world's problems.' Oh, you betcha.

I know texanspaniard has him in his Real team but I think most United fans would have to have Ronaldo too. He's been one of the best players for both teams in the last 20 or so years (arguably the best in Real's case), he was great at United but, if anything, got even better at Real. Real have had an embarrassment of riches (I mean, think of some of the names texanspaniard doesn't even have listed there) but think Xabi Alonso walks into a Liverpool and Real XI. Once nearly punched a Liverpool supporting mate in the penis when he debated Alonso, it's like, shit, there is no debate, it's Alonso and then 10 others. But not Bruno Cheyrou.

Saw this earlier, thought it was fun. As someone who has never read a comic, only knows X-Men from the films and had never heard of Quicksilver until I heard he'd be a character in this, reiterating that he absolutely stole the show. I'm trying to remember the last time I saw a character get so over so quickly with an audience at a film I've been to. Shit, the scene in the kitchen is one of the funnest in any of these blockbuster superhero type films. It's a bank holiday over here so lot of kids at the screening and heard one of them say they'd watch a film with just him. Kid should be a studio executive. Fassbender acted the shit out of his dramatic speeches, having dudes like him and McKellen in these films really elevate them (in more ways than one) but then there's no film in the history of ever that Fassbender couldn't make better. I'd watch him read the ingredients on a Reggae Reggae Sauce bottle. Surprisingly, at least half the cinema didn't stay for the post credits scene, of the half left half of them gave an audible 'the fuck?!' (and that was just the kids). Had to google it afterwards.

After all these years, I too would like someone to explain to me the 'appeal' of Scott Keith seeing as his reviews literally just consist of him listing the moves during the match and then going, um, ***1/4 but people (idiots) seemed to eat that shit up. I discovered today that he is still a thing and, in 2014, still has followers. I know on here tends to take the piss out of him but there are an awful lot of people out there who hang on his every word and, I mean, shit, there are people out there who have actually paid actual money for his old reviews. This is absurd to me. I don't mind certain reviews of wrestling and that but I'd rather read a review filled with joy than a review filled with obnoxious miserableness.

Kinkladze AND Wanchope though? That team is A-number-one. I don't know how well it would do overall but it'd be damn fun watching them. I still remember the 'fuck is this guy?!' reaction after Wanchope scored THAT goal at Old Trafford.

Random question that occurred to me after re-watching Steamboat's spiffy comeback from 2009 (one of the best parts? Flair giggling like a schoolgirl when Steamboat was going through his spots at Wrestlemania), being that his last match before that was 15 years earlier, what's the longest anyone's ever gone between matches? Pat Patterson would be 14 or so years I think so Steamboat's longer. Mae Young? I'm probably forgetting someone really obvious because I am incredibly old.

Best XI of Your Team Since You Started Supporting Them or a less long winded title? It's probably not totally thread worthy but, yeah, I do always like seeing who people rate and that. Favourite XI might be a better title as obviously dudes will have their favourite players even if they weren't all time best or anything. I mean, shit, if you're a Man United fan and you want William Prunier in your team because of his legendary 2 game run then be my guest. Schmeichel Gary Neville Vidic Stam Irwin Ronaldo Keane Scholes Giggs Cantona Solksjaer Could maybe have had Ferdinand in there but Jip Jaap Stam the big dutchman in murderdeathkill mode for the few seasons he was there was a sight to behold. Solksjaer's in there because he's one of my favourites, dude would have scored 30 odd goals a season anywhere else, he was just unlucky at United in that Yorke/Cole clicked so well, van Nistelrooy came in and was probably one of the few who was an even better natural finisher than him and he missed a lot of time with injuries and whatnot. Rest of the team speaks for itself. Manager is between Fergie and Moyes. I'm undecided.

Isn't wrestling just, you know, live action role playing? If you put Gene Snitsky and a bunch of bare foot divas in there with Tony Atlas, it would be, well, absurdly creepy. That's all I got. Scott Steiner would definately liven this place up but then there's nothing in the history of entertainment that Scott Steiner couldn't liven up. Would possibly need subtitles though and I'd be worried that he would literally murder Jimmy Hart.

With QPR and 'Arry back in the Premier League, could do without another transfer deadline day of him leaning out his Range Rover window giving it the 'I like him, he's a good player but not sure if he's available' tapping up without tapping up routine. Also, not entirely into the prospect of a season of the gutter press tickling his balls, singing him Happy Birthday during a press conference again and proclaiming him the saviour of England even though he's dirtier than Den Watts. All in all, I don't care for Redknapp and would have preferred Derby is what I'm subtly trying to say. Liked that they had Gerrard alongside Roy Keane on ITV's panel last night cause Keane got to be all 'That's a dive, that is' when they showed Gerrard winning the penalty in Istanbul followed by his comment re: the World Cup of 'Steven's a great player, he deserves to go out on a high...but England will struggle at the World Cup.' Lee Dixon's input usually consists of 'I agree with Roy' though. Probably for the best. Friend of a friend had Atletico on a £5 double to win the league and European Cup, one more minute and he'd have been £11000 or so richer. I shouldn't have laughed but I did hence why I'm sporting a black eye today.

It bears repeating but, you betcha, Fargo is really, really quite good. I was skeptical at first when I heard about them doing the TV series but it's so good it nearly makes me not mind Colin Hanks. Nearly.

Random Wold Cup memories ahoy. I have very vague recollections of Italia 90 but USA 94 was my first real one. - It being America in June/July, it seemed like every match was played in scorching hot sun. - Diana Ross missing the penalty in the opening ceremony. Springsteen would have buried that sucker. - Bebeto's baby rocking celebration and every lad on our street copying it even though 9 year olds can't conceive children. - Maradona's celebration and every lad on our street copying it by getting shitfaced on ephedrine and cocaine and then getting kicked out of the street. - Romario/Hagi/Stoichkov/Baggio/Batigol/BROLIN aka the coolest era of superstar players in the last 20 years. - Big Jack and John Aldridge nearly committing murder of a FIFA official on live TV. - Houghton's volley against Italy followed by him panicking and thinking 'shit, best moment of my career, what do I do for a celebration? Cartwheel and 5 somersaults? Nah, fuck it, forward roll.' - The final being so bad it caused Baggio to have a memory relapse and forget how to take a penalty. - Jorge Campos' goalkeeping jerseys, a clever ploy designed to induce an epileptic fit in opposition centre forwards. - World Cup of Hair: LALAS VS VALDERRAMA I can't even remember if overall it was an especially great World Cup, I just remember being enthralled by the whole goddamn spectacle. France 98 comes round and I'm of the age where I was filling in a wall chart and collecting World Cup stickers and playing World Cup 98 on the N64 and whatnot. As long as this year there isn't a Brazilian equivalent of a vuvu-fucking-zela, I'll be happy.

Even my dear old mam who knows fuck all squared about football made a succinctly biting comment at the end of the season of 'look how far down United are in that table, aren't they usually near the top?' It cut like a thousand knives. And that was the day I asked my dad to divorce her.

I only started supporting them this season because I picked their name out of a hat containing all the Football League teams on Soccer AM, I think Michael Rooker got Leeds one week. The fact I am a glutton for boring Scottish out-of-their-depth fuckpots was just a bonus. Have they not been doing well? Cleverley and Young must surely start looking for a hiding place so deep in the catacombs of Old Trafford that Van Gaal doesn't detect their stench of shitness 3.2 seconds after his arrival and immediately ship them off to Sunderland where Man United players go to die.

Quit my job today cause my boss forgot my hamster's birthday. Fuck 'em, it's the principle. Summer should be pretty bonkers, Man United are linked with, bar Didier Baptiste (Liverpool are signing him), every bloody player in Europe in the shithouse red tops every day cos some journalist heard it from a guy in a pub who heard it from a guy who follows some guy on Twitter who knows the guy who cuts Toni Kroos' granny's hair. That or they just make the stories up. Overall, I can't see them signing more than 5 players with Shaw the only probable shoo-in at this point. Man United fan here by the way. Come at me, you reasoned, respectful, jovial swell chaps you.

So, yeah, Calvary pretty much has the most attention grabbing opening line I've ever heard in a while: Chap in front of us at cinema let out a slight guffaw and then was caught in two minds over whether he should have guffawed at said line. I think it was probably the reaction McDonagh was looking for to be fair. The editing's a bit suspect as it becomes just a series of vignettes with Gleeson being Gleeson (ie great) surrounded by bonkers caricatures played by every Irish actor that ever lived, including Aidan Gillen in full on man of a thousand voices mode sporting his Little Finger beard but, yeah, really good overall. Re: the ending: Not sure how many people on here have seen it, I think it's not out in the US for a while but, yeah, if you liked The Guard, I'd recommend it. It's powerful and dark and funny all at once.

The Hound must surely be the all time number one cuntererer on television even despite the valiant challenge from Bronn throughout though? Of course, Ellis Albert Swearengen once asked the whores, on their way to a child's funeral no less, if their underarms were clean and their cunts braided. Junior Soprano once said his nephew was a cunt hair away from running all of North Jersey and he was that cunt hair. This may be a closer contest than I had first thought, I look forward to The Hound cementing his place as King of the Cunt though. That's a lot of cunts for my first paragraph in my first post. I do apologise. Something about the way dude who plays The Hound delivers his lines cracks me up every time too, guy is hysterical. Even a somewhat minor scene like the one from couple weeks back where he shit all over Arya's water dancing ('greatest swordsman who ever lived killed by Meryn fucking Trant?!') had me in stitches for a week and a day. As a complete non book reader and non visitor to the book thread, not sure how book readers feel about the portrayals on the show but, overall, aside from one or two exceptions, it's a fucking immense ensemble cast. Bronn/Tyrion, Oberyn/Tyrion, Hound/Arya, Brienne/Pod/Kidney Pie, all great stuff this week. My eyes glaze over somewhat with most of the stuff involving Jon Snow though. And not just because he knows nothing.