DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 9182014- KOHEI SATO~! KOJI KANEMOTO~!

[DEAN]

DRIVERETTE 9182014

 

Eh, I try to put together a string of a thousand straight days of wrestling reviews but a lot of things conspire against me:  Football season, work, 70 of my  children, my new old guy metalish band (that debuts at the Wonderland in RVA on October 4th opening for fucking DRUGLORD!), choir practice with my daughters, my sons football practice- which are all just a smokescreen for the fact that I only get excited when new Big Japan shows up on the internet.  So some showed up, so here we are.  Behold.  The Professional Wrestling.

 

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUJI ISHIKAWA/ KOHEI SATO vs DIASUKE SEKIMOTO/ RYUCHI KAWAKAMI- BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING- 8/24/2014:  FUCK. YES.  Ah, bring me the stiff.  If you are new to the NEW ERA of DVDVR Sporadic Reviewing of The Pro Wrestling, Shuji Ishikawa and Kohei Sato are the tallest meanest stiffest-working tagteam in Japan and THUS they are my current favorite tagteam.  I love everything about Kohie Sato.  He is probably my current favorite wrestler.  YEah, I will say now that he is.  Fuck yes, may they reign forever. Shuji Ishikawa and the good-lookin' Emo boy Ryuchi Kawakami start out and Shuji offers up a clean break because this is some kind of fuckin sunday school or something.   I don't know, maybe they are going to put on tiaras and have a tea party too.  They do a Greco Roman knuckle lock and I love it when they tease me before they fucking kill each other.  They work a headlock/headscissors section and tag out.  Sato and Sekimoto lock it up and they fiddle with headlocks.  In the midst of synching the headlock in on Kohei Sato, Sekimoto has a look of dread on his face, as if he knows that after the headlock, Sato will use his entire 6'4" frame to beat the living breathing dogpiss out of him.  After the headlock, Sato begins beating the leaving breathing dogpiss out of Sekimoto.  Sekimoto powers out of an arm submission so he can stand toe to toe with Sato- who just fucking blasts into the skull of Sekimoto like a fucking lunatic.  Then he kicks Sekimoto in the chest a bunch and I remember the rush, the thrill- of watching Japanese wrestling.  Shuji Ishikawa tags in and remembers he also will pulverize a motherfucker.  Our motherfucker at the moment is Sekimoto.  BUT he crawls over to Kawakami to allow Kawakami and ishikawa to just fucking GO AT IT and it is the brawling that I have loved since watching my first wrestling match in 1969.  Ishikawa tags out and Sato hits Inverted Reverse Falcon Arrow #31 of the New Era.  He tries for his breath-takingly beautiful piledriver, but the young, good-looking Emo boy Kawakami is powerful and preposterously tough and he powers out and tags in Sekimoto.  Sekimoto is MODE: HOUSE A-FIRE and it is a good role for him.  He can look berserker and hits nice lariats and then here hits a sweet Brainbuster.  Sato cuts off Sekimoto and just smashes Sekimoto's skull with a forearm and tags in a generally pissed off Ishikawa.  Ishikawa does some strange knee-based offense off the second rope to set-up a very short abdominal stretch moment that Sekimoto cuts short by quickly hitting the ropes- because Sekimoto is a dope and thus wants fucking Shuji fucking Ishikawa to go back to savagely beating the fuck out him.  Sekimoto is pretty awesome brawling in this though- so I'm guessing the point of the this match was for Sekimoto to try to get closer to Sato in the eyes of the Big Japan following by showing that take and dish out an ass-beating.  Kawakami tags in and he looks far more comfortable brawling and suplexing.  Ishikawa is pretty great in this selling the damage of Kawakami's Released German by stumbling while being enraged, calling for the double team to kill this motherfucker already.  And they do.  BUT Sekimoto does the THOROUGHLY bad ass EVEREST~! German Suplex overhead to the mat on a fully prone Pinning Predicament Ishikawa.  Kawakami- saved and fired up- trades ridiculously huge forearms with Ishikawa until Kawakami's forearms finally overcomes Ishikawa and allows Kawakami to go for his finisher (whatever that is.  He doesn't win much yet.) but Ishikawa reverses it into a fucking beautiful K-Driller for two. Ishikawa finally gets Kawakami up into a Diehard Kansai/Last Ride/ Splash Mountain/Razor's Edge and gets the win.  Man, I hope Sato and Ishikawa keep the belts forever. When they drop them, I hope they drop them to a team with Kawakami.  Kawakami is quickly becoming the next Okabayashi.  Sooooo fucking good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDE-1jMC7hw

 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ KAZUKI HASHIMOTO vs KOJI KANEMOTO- BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING-  8/24/2014:  Oh fuck yes,  Big Japan knows how to take me from "Oh fuck wrestling" to "JESUS! WHY AM I NOT WATCHING THIS YET!"  Surly asshole young punk of Big Japan takes on 90s surly asshole young punk of yesteryear.  Hey!  My favorite match from 1998- Koji Kanemot versus El Samurai- was.... SIXTEEN years ago.  Oy.  Hold me.  I am ever so old.....  But of my pining for yesteryear, lets see what these two folks do when K-Hash tries to do Kanemoto's signature move.   It'll be fun.  K-Hash has a fauncy new long vest- like he's some kind anime character.  Kanemoto's ring attire whips K-Hash's ring attire's ass: Kanemoto has a robe with a ten inch collar- as if he were some kind of Dr Strange villain.   Kanemoto looks aged and intense.  K-Hash looks 12.  They start by punching each other in the face.  Not Sato/Kawakami-level but I would prolly advise watching this before the tag match because every level of stiffness loses miserably to Sato/Ishikawa level of stiff.  But fuck all that, these two brawl like motherfuckers through the crowd with Hashimoto not flinching at flying facefirst into and through a section of chairs.  They get back to the ring and there are no clean breaks (T.A't.N.A.S.S.).  At 46ish, Kanemoto is still fucking smooth as silk in the ring.  He latches on a totally Volk Han-level leg submission and it is thing of beauty forever.  Hashimoto sells it like Kanemoto is channelling Volk Han by snapping his tendons in two.  Kanemoto kicks him a bit and sinks in the ankle lock.  Kanemoto stands up and starts punching K-Hash in the face A LOT which is fucking awesome.  The crowd gives him the business and he revels in it like the true OG asshole bastard fucker that he is.  They trade kicks for a while and Kanemoto hits another submission and THEN.  K-Hash doesn't want do the face scrapes.  Kanemoto just fucking punches him in the face to keep him down and hits the face scrapes to set up the TM3 Moonsault.  K-Hash moves and rolls to the floor but Kanemoto lands on his feet and goes straight to the tope.  GODDAM.  Kanemoto punches him in the stomach and then hits a 7 quarters legit spin kick to the teeth and this match is fucking BEAUTIFUL.  Kanemoto then moonsaults into Hashimoto's knees and Koji takes a running kick to the face.  K-Hash makes with the Kanemoto Face Scrapes and the crowd feels stirrings in their Upset Place as they get behind this snot-nosed little bastard.  K-Hash goes 90s NJ JR with the Fisherman Buster but Kanemoto cuts him off by rolling through a kick into an ankle lock.   Then they do a section of really nice ways of Kanemoto applying the ankle lock and K-Hash escaping and then getting some offense in before Kanemoto cuts him off by spinning into another submission.  K-Hash escapes the cycle by hitting a fucking preposterously nasty Released German that Kanemoto over-rotates for maximum horror.  K-Hash crushes him with a running kick to the face, a BJPW-level legit headbutt and fucking NORTHERN LIGHTS BOMB!  For Two!  Kazuki Hashimoto then does a running kick to the back of the head and the UPSET!  THE UPSET!  This was pretty fucking beautiful.   Postmatch, Koji Kanemoto is amused by K-Hash's mic skills.      

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZaB2xjaMXs

 

TOMORROW:  I'll probably write something anyway.

[Curt McGirt]

That reminded me of the glory of Kanemoto's matches with another new punk on the block, Hayato Jr. Fujita. DEAN, if you haven't seen those, you must.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7djoZUFxGjg

 

This one's hosted by our own Alan! Three parts.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBtrfA9eV-s

 

Wow, I didn't know they did one last year. Looks to be huge. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLvPB1lUnic