Gorman

One time in Firestorm Pro (Cleveland), Jake grabbed me from behind by the shoulders so he could take my mic and cut a drunken promo on the crowd. He's really big.

I'm surprised your professors were so frank with you. Northwestern was a great place to study journalism, but they had a very idealistic, almost naive view of the profession, its importance and its nobility. I discovered the real world was a lot different.

Thoughts on SummerSlam 2001 The WWF took a commanding lead in its war with the Alliance. Edge won the IC title from Lance Storm. The Rock won the WCW title from Booker T. Undertaker and Kane destroyed DDP and Kanyon to walk off with the WWF and WCW tag belts. Austin hung onto the WWF title, but only after throwing everything at Kurt Angle and failing to beat him. Austin finally started beating up referees until he was disqualified. Shane McMahon backed up Booker T in the same way he seconded Chris Benoit 13 months earlier. After Rock put away Booker T, he looked at the belt like ... "Really...I'm the WCW champion?" Edge finally looked like a singles star with his title win, as they built toward Christian getting jealous and turning on him. I like how Tajiri was loyal to the WWF side throughout the Invasion, even though he was a longtime ECW star. It gave him a lot more personality. Jericho and Rhyno had a great match, and Stephanie threw a huge tantrum after Rhyno failed to avenge all of Y2J's insults. Rob Van Dam wins the MVP award for winning the Hardcore title from Jeff Hardy again, this time in a ladder match. RVD was so fun to watch and different, much like The Great Muta and 2 Cold Scorpio blew everyone's minds when he arrived in WCW. Worst fan sign: "EXTREME CRAPY WRESTLERS"

After the Dark Order-SCU match, Chris Daniels gave his choice for who is The Exalted One: Nobody.

Abby chased me out of the ring once in Cleveland. I have never moved that fast in my life.

Thoughts on InVasion Cleveland was the perfect site for this PPV, because Raw was at Gund Arena when Shane announced his purchase of WCW on the final Nitro. Also, we hosted the first two 10-man main events at the first two Survivor Series. I would have loved to attend InVasion, but buying wrestling tickets wasn't as important as buying an engagement ring. Lance Storm and Mike Awesome were also the best choices for the invaders in the opening match. Storm was the first WCW wrestler to appear on Raw, and Awesome was the first to win a title in the WWF. They lost to Edge & Christian. Earl Hebner beat Nick Patrick with all of the other WWF and WCW referees around the ring. APA beat Palumbo & O'Haire, who looked promising. So the WWF looked like they would rout the invaders. Then the WCW-ECW Coalition (later renamed The Alliance) mounted a comeback, as Kidman beat X-Pac, Raven beat Regal with help from Tazz and WCW won the "Midcard Madness" match pitting Shawn Stasiak, Hugh Morrus and Kanyon over Big Show, Billy Gunn & Albert. Counting Chavo Jr.'s win over Scotty 2 Hotty on Heat, the invaders took a 4-3 lead. The two sides traded wins until the score was tied at 5, not that anything was on the line except for bragging rights. The only title match saw Rob Van Dam win the Hardcore title from Jeff Hardy. RVD looked great and had the crowd on his side, despite the fact that Cleveland had been a WWF town. Conversely, the fans booed X-Pac out of the building despite him being on the WWF side. Despite RVD's performance, the MVP award goes to Stone Cold Steve Austin. If he hadn't defected to the WCW side with the WWF title (which was the fear about Benoit or Jericho at King of the Ring), the Invasion would have fizzled out without a strong leader. DDP and Booker T couldn't carry the load on their own, and Rhyno and The Dudleys were already in the WWF before returning to their ECW roots. Since the WCW side couldn't bring in Flair, Luger, the Steiners, the nWo or Goldberg, Austin was their only hope of toppling the WWF. Worst fan sign: "WE (heart) NICK FOLLY"

Thoughts on King of the Ring 2001 Worst crowd sign was not DDP's "Make Me Famous," but "Keep On Rollen" after Undertaker sent the former WCW champion packing. The fans didn't know whom to cheer during the King of the Ring tournament, which featured all heels: Edge, Christian, Angle and Rhyno. Shane McMahon (owner of WCW) helped Angle beat Christian to ensure that Angle would have to wrestle twice before their street fight. Shane interfered again to cause Angle to lose the tournament final to Edge. This wasn't the best way to crown Edge, as his win came off as a fluke. In addition to Edge, both Hardys were positioned as singles wrestlers, with Jeff defending the Light Heavyweight title over X-Pac and Matt retaining the European title over Justin Credible (on Heat). Meanwhile, the Dudleys were tag team champs as heels, beating Spike and his mystery partner, Kane. They didn't do their crowd-pleasing "Whazzup" and "Get the table" callouts. The WWF advertised the next PPV as "Fully Loaded," so they made a late decision to switch it to "InVasion." Austin beat Jericho and Benoit in the main event to retain the WWF title. This was a great match in the ring, but everything else was weird. The crowd wanted to cheer Austin, but they couldn't because he was a heel. They couldn't get behind a babyface because there were two of them. When WCW champion Booker T came out to put Austin through a table, the fans went nuts. The match also had two unnecessary storylines. Vince McMahon said that Austin had to retain the title or their partnership was over. Austin spent the entire night waiting for Vince, but he never showed up. Also, the announcers kept discussing a "rumor" that if Benoit or Jericho won the title, he would defect to WCW on the next night at Madison Square Garden. Why would they go back to WCW when the WWF treated them so much better? Kurt Angle is the MVP after wrestling Christian, Edge and then winning an insane street fight against Shane McMahon. Not only did Angle throw Shane through two "KOR" windows, but he also suplexed Shane into the windows three other times and they didn't break! The first time, Shane fell directly onto his head. After this carnage, Angle wheeled Shane's bloody, lifeless body back to the ring on an equipment cart to get the pin ... and Shane kicked out. Kurt almost broke down crying. Only Angle could deliver that much wrestling and that much emotion.

Thoughts on Judgment Day 2001 Rikishi was back to his popular, rump-shaking self, but he lost the opener cleanly to William Regal. So Rikishi was only a main-eventer during his brief time as a heel. Kurt Angle beat Chris Benoit in the third fall by climbing the ladder to retrieve his Olympic medals. Angle made sure to mention that their conflict was also about who was the best technical wrestler in the WWF, which Benoit called himself before the Angle feud. Chyna beat Lita handily, but then she and the women's title disappeared. Rhyno smashed into a wall backstage in his Hardcore title match against Big Show and Test. In previous weeks, guys would get thrown through doors and windows. Didn't the arena managers have a problem with this? Kane won the IC title from HHH in a chain match, and fortunately the object of the match was not to drag your opponent to all four corners. X-Factor used their extra man to beat the Acolytes and Hardys in the Tag Team Turmoil match, but then Chris Jericho showed up with Benoit as his mystery partner. They beat X-Factor and Edge & Christian to earn a title shot against Austin and HHH. Yes, this means Benoit won the MVP award for the third time in a row. He wrestled five falls in the night, as the WWF leaned on his technical skill like they did with Bret Hart in the mid-90s. Undertaker made a colossal mistake by demanding that his title match with Austin be No Holds Barred. Commissioner Regal asked Austin if that was okay with him, and he said sure. Of course, HHH and Vince McMahon were allowed to interfere liberally and help Austin win. Kane showed up (with pyro), but he was too late. Worst fan sign: "Get The Tabel" -- Didn't his family and friends notice this?

Okay, Tazz did bring up on the most recent AEW Dark that The Exalted One could be a woman. I still think Vickie would be a great choice.

Vickie appeared as a commentator on Dark a while back. Excalibur mentioned The Exalted One as "he" a couple of times on another episode of Dark. As an announcer, my first reaction would be to ask "How do we know it's a 'he'?" The fact that Tazz didn't bring up that possibility tells me that it is a woman, and it's Vickie.

I figured out the identity of The Exalted One. It's Vickie Guerrero. You heard it here first.

Thoughts on Insurrexion 2001 The Radicals started the show with victories, as Eddy beat Grandmaster Sexay, and Malenko & Saturn defeated the Hollys. This show was plagued with some WCW-style nonsensical booking. Terri said she couldn't wrestle the aforementioned match with the Radicals because she couldn't buy any wrestling gear in England. She couldn't bring any from the U.S.? After Terri said this would be a 2-on-2 match, Molly was right there on the ring apron waiting to be tagged into the match. It got worse when Steven Richards and Ivory came out and announced that the women's battle royale was censored. Steven then introduced the other participants: Trish, Lita and Jackie, who attacked and stripped the RTC members. So this was supposed to be a four-woman battle royale? Not only that, but Big Show announced that Test was too injured to wrestle him, so Big Show was the winner by forfeit. Test came out anyway and fought him, only to get injured further. Just when it seemed like Big Show was being booked correctly as an unstoppable giant, he called out the entire locker room, and Bradshaw came out and beat him in less than four minutes. Chris Benoit wins the MVP award for the second time in the week for beating Kurt Angle 2 falls to 0. Angle was distracted by his missing gold medals, which were in Benoit's trunks throughout the match. The Hardys, Dudleys and Edge & Christian have dealt with tables, ladders and chairs, but in this elimination match, they were also dealing with the X-Factor ... who got eliminated first. Edge & Christian won as usual, even though the tag team belts were not in the equation. They weren't on the line in the main event, either, as Austin & Triple H faced The Undertaker in a handicap match. Although Taker could win the WWF title by pinning Austin, he was more concerned with avenging an injury to Kane and decided to pin HHH instead. The announcers valiantly tried to cover up for this by stating that Taker was now the No. 1 contender to Austin's WWF titie. No. 1 contender for worst fan sign ever? "ASTIN SLOD OUT" (held upside down)

I guess he'll just stay home alone.

Thoughts on Backlash 2001 X-Factor opened the PPV by winning a six-man over the Dudleys. That was probably their biggest win ever. X-Factor's biggest problem was a lack of identity other "group led by a longtime follower." Rhyno quickly winning the Hardcore title was a natural extension of his reign as the final ECW champion. He added to that legacy by beating Raven, an iconic ECW champion. The Duchess of Queensbury rules match was hilarious. Even though Jericho kept getting screwed by the changing rules, it was more funny than infuriating. Both Jericho and Regal came out looking better after the match. Chris Benoit is the MVP for beating Kurt Angle in the Ultimate Submission match. He trailed 3-1 at the halfway mark and came back to tap out Angle three times to win in overtime. Shane McMahon delivered a ridiculous 50-foot elbow drop onto the Big Show. This was a lot like Shane's Falls Count Anywhere match win over Big Show 11 months earlier. Test even helped Shane like he did in the first match! As impressive as Shane was, Big Show looked like a total chump losing in the same way to a non-wrestler. The Hardys moved into the singles ranks after WrestleMania, as Jeff had a brief IC title reign and Matt won the European title. Matt defended it here successfully against Christian and Eddy. It made sense because after TLC 2, we really didn't need to see the top three teams fight each other any more. Austin and Triple H lived up to their Two-Man Power Trip name by adding Undertaker and Kane's tag team belts to their WWF and IC titles. With The Rock promoting The Mummy Returns, this was the perfect time for Benoit and Jericho to challenge them.

Thoughts on WrestleMania X-7 Yes, this is the greatest PPV of all time. Why? Because the matches were built, ordered, timed and executed perfectly. It was set up to be an amazing show even before the opening bell. It was a great night to be from Texas. Bradshaw, Eddy, Undertaker and Austin all won. Brother Love even made the final four of the gimmick battle royale. If The Goon had dressed up as Wild Bill Irwin, he would have won it. Speaking of that match, Sgt. Slaughter was a bad sport by putting the victorious Iron Sheik in the cobra clutch. What did Sheiky do to deserve that? We should have known that the Invasion would fizzle out when a handful of "WCW Wrestlers" were shown in a skybox a mile away from the ring watching the "WWF Superstars." Edge & Christian should be in the Hall of Fame for winning both TLC matches as well as the triple-threat ladder match at WrestleMania 2000. Chyna's career trajectory was totally backwards. She becomes the first woman to win the IC title and compete in Royal Rumble and King of the Ring. Then she wins the Women's title. Austin wins the MVP award for doing the unthinkable to regain the WWF title from the Rock. Some didn't like Austin's heel turn and alliance with Vince McMahon, but he always said that if you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to become WWF champion, you shouldn't set foot in the ring.

Even if London's not wrestling, I hope the fans give him a "Please don't die" chant for old times' sake.

Thoughts on No Way Out 2001 Raven lost his Hardcore title to Billy Gunn, who was not his scheduled opponent, before regaining it and losing to his actual opponent, The Big Show. Crash Holly was hilariously dressed as a popcorn vendor, which was not necessary. Of course, he got chokeslammed into a pile of popcorn. Chris Jericho hung onto the IC title in a "workrate dream match" against Eddy, Benoit & X-Pac. Justin Credible showed up to help X-Pac as we counted down to the glorious formation of X-Factor. Stephanie vs. Trish was not a great match, but they did very well for their limited experience. Poor William Regal didn't know whom to help in order to please Vince McMahon. He finally chose Steph, and he chose wrong. Steve Austin and Triple H got all their hatred our of their system during the Three Stages of Hell match. Austin won the regular fall with the Stunner before HHH used a sledgehammer and Pedigree to win the street-fight fall. Both men were already bleeding when the steel cage came down for the third fall. They knocked each other out with weapons, with Triple H falling on top for the decisive pinfall. HHH gets the MVP award for pinning Austin in consecutive falls. Of course, Austin already had the WrestleMania title shot in his back pocket. Steven Richards had already beaten Godfather and Val Venis to force them to give up their raunchy ways, and they both eventually joined Right to Censor. Here, Richards pinned Jerry Lawler to force The Kat to join RTC and prevent her from getting naked (like that was going to happen, even in Las Vegas). The Rock recaptured the WWF title from Kurt Angle, setting up a face vs. face WrestleMania main event with Austin. It would have been interesting to see Angle enter WM 17 as champion, only to lose to the Vince-Austin collaboration with Angle turning face. However, an Austin-Rock rematch was too lucrative for anyone to resist.

Yes I did, thanks! Always nice to get some love for the Wonder Trio (me, Joe Dombrowski & Kingdom James)

"Sir, I have a Mr. Angle on Line 1, and a Mr. Jarrett on Line 2..."

I like how Bayley used to get that treatment too ... (It's BAYLEY!) and then they stopped doing it.

I made sure not to put any Irish whips or bouncing off the ropes in the "Wrestling Is Real" novel.

Also, the best way for Gargano to hurt Ciampa is to keep him away from his beloved "Goldie."

Thoughts on Royal Rumble 2001 The Dudleys cut through Edge & Christian's chicanery to win the WWF tag team title. Chris Jericho followed up by winning the IC title in a ladder match over Chris Benoit to start the PPV with a pair of feel-good moments. However, it didn't feel good to watch that ladder match in retrospect. Benoit did a tope, only to be greeted by a home-run chairshot from Jericho. After that, Jericho smashed Benoit in the head with the ladder on at least five occasions. In addition, Benoit missed a headbutt from the top of the ladder, which would have hurt him even if it had connected. Then we go to Chyna's neck injury during her match against Ivory. We were supposed to feel sympathetic, but she made another bad decision by returning against doctor's orders. Stone Cold and Triple H were destined for another epic battle because they continued to interfere in each other's matches. Austin caused HHH to lose his WWF title match against Kurt Angle. Hunter tried to return the favor by busting Stone Cold open during the Rumble, but Austin prevailed anyway to become the only three-time Royal Rumble winner. Drew Carey and Honky Tonk Man were fun additions to the Royal Rumble, but you also have to love WCW Hardcore champion Haku coming in at No. 29. Looks like someone's contract expired! Kane is the MVP of the Rumble and the entire show. He lasted an amazing 53 minutes, coming in at No. 5 and lasting all the way until the end. He even dumped out The Rock before finally getting clotheslined over the top by Stone Cold.

Thoughts on Armageddon 2000 Lita faced Dean Malenko at the end of the opening elimination match. They had an ill-fated date three days earlier in which Dean's wedding ring became a bone of contention. Malenko made Lita tap, but the point was that Lita could "hang with the guys" like Chyna. Speaking of Chyna, she lost to Val Venis due to Ivory's interference. Chyna had instructed Billy Gunn not to be in her corner because she could handle things by herself. Raven helped William Regal retain the European title over Hardcore Holly. Why? The tag team titles bounced from heels to heels as Edge & Christian won Right To Censor's belts in a four-way. This was Edge & Christian's fourth tag team title reign, which I believe was a new record at the time. Billy Gunn came out with the IC title, so it seemed they were going to try him one more time as a singles star. Nope, Chris Benoit made him tap to the Crossface. Chris Jericho finally got a win over Kane. Despite the storyline, fans didn't really think of Jericho as a "pretty boy," but he certainly earned his "tough guy" cred by beating Kane in a Last Man Standing match. We also saw the first "bury your opponent under heavy objects" finish in this type of match. Ivory retained the women's title over Molly and Trish in a quick match that also featured a quick series of run-ins. Here comes T&A! Here comes Crash! Here comes the APA to get revenge for the "T&APA" shirts! The entire show was devoted to how dangerous the Hell in a Cell match was, and how it could shorten or end somebody's career. This was effective, but it created two problems. First of all, the fans have already bought the show. Second, they set the "danger bar" way too high. Vince McMahon, attempting to protect his stars as "investments," even brought a construction truck to dismantle the Cell before Mick Foley had him thrown out of the building. Kurt Angle retained the WWF title over Austin, Rock, Taker, Rikishi and Triple H. Rikishi wins the MVP for taking a bump off the Cell into the truck. Fortunately, it was filled with dog kennel bedding, rather than auto parts or broken glass.

Thoughts on Rebellion 2000 (UK-only PPV) Jim Ross and Tazz announced this show together, not long after they smashed glass into each other's eyes. Commissioner Mick Foley seemed to make every PPV main event a no-DQ match. T&A wore the T&APA shirts again, and they still weren't wrestling The Acolytes. Instead, they faced the Dudleys and Edge & Christian in an elimination tables match. Fortunately, the Dudleys won. Right to Censor kept the belts away from Team Extreme (Ivory over Lita, Bull & Goodfather over Hardys) after interference by Steven Richards and Val Venis, respectively. Venis went from IC champion to backing up the tag team champs in just a few months. William Regal is the MVP. He turned his hometown crowd against him with a backstage promo and another one in the ring. He did a great job, because the crowd popped when Crash Holly beat him for the European title. Kane won Round 2 of his feud with Chris Jericho, but Y2J came after Kane again after the match. The Radicals attacked Undertaker's knee before the match, and Chris Benoit delivered a top-rope headbutt to the knee, but Undertaker still beat him. Kurt Angle retained the WWF title in the main event against Steve Austin, Rock and Rikishi. The Radicals attacked Austin, Edge & Christian occupied The Rock, and Angle pinned Rikishi with the Olympic Slam. Angle lost so many matches in 2000, but Angle as champion felt so right.