Cobra Commander

watching RAW (8/2/1993) Last week Doink challenged Randy Savage and 2 other Doinks appeared We are in "way upstate New York" (Alexandria Bay, New York) in what appears to be an aircraft hangar. The early years of RAW occasionally decided to bring the show to random upstate New York vacation destinations (see: the RAW from the Lake Placid Olympic Center in 1997). The crowd looks large enough on TV. The Steiners are taking on Duane Gill and Barry Horowitz. They have an open contract for Summerslam (more on that later?). Scott gets the pin with the Frankensteiner. WHO IS LEX LUGER? (hey we gotta build this guy as a face after having him be a heel for 6 months until turning him on the 4th of July) Hey, it's Adam Bomb with Johnny Polo. He's facing Tony Roy. We get shots of random kids staring at Adam Bomb. Johnny Polo certainly has a look for this match. Adam Bomb wins with a powerbomb. Next week: Tatanka vs Mr. Hughes! It's time for the clash between Doink and Macho Man Randy Savage. Macho Man is dedicating this match to Crush (more on that in a few months). Savage is wearing a USA outfit because we don't know what country this Doink is from. Just imagine if Doink had slammed Yokozuna on the 4th and the Doink Express travelled America going into Summerslam. Savage snaps and grabs a nonfolding chair and that sets up Doink to jump him. I think Jericho's the only guy in the last 20 years to actually get a Boston Crab over because it's a move that can legit hurt and it's not used a lot. Nice belly to belly suplex by Doink. Doink misses the whoopie cushion but cuts off a Savage comeback. Randy Savage goes under the ring and a midget comet comes out of the other side and this is hilarious. Doink chases the little feller and Savage ambushes Doink. Savage wins with a small package. "Doink has been outdoinked". Tiger Jackson (Macho Midget) unleashes the main self-defense mechanism of tiny pro wrestlers by biting Doink on the ass. Randy lifting Tiger Jackson like he's the new Miss Elizabeth. ICO PRO! with Lex Luger. Slim Jims with Macho Man. The Summerslam Report with Mean Gene. Summerslam Report is brought to you by Chevrolet and this truck parked near Titan Tower. I'm guessing Monday August 30th was during the US Open, hence they're running a PPV that night. Yokozuna/Luger, Bret/Lawler, Shawn Michaels/Mr. Perfect, Undertaker/Giant Gonzales. Only four weeks from tonight! Ted DiBiase is "on the phone". We don't get wrestlers doing interviews "through the phone" any more since apparently it's bad for people in the arena. Anyways, 123 Kid beat Ted DiBiase recently. If they show that footage, DiBiase will hang up. (They show the footage from Wrestling Challenge) Hey, Jim Cornette just wanders to the ring after that clip and Bobby Heenan goes to the ring to greet him. "Do you have any idea who this man is?" (New York vacationeers boo Heenan). Jim's here for one reason: to blatantly promote his company answer the Steiner's challenge for Summerslam. Gonna get Heavenly Bodies vs Steiners in 4 weeks. Judging by the amount of sweat on Jim's face, those TV lights must be like 120 degrees (and it's also a big moment worth sweating over). Just like any good mission, that one reason evolves into 2 reasons once they realize that Jim Cornette is a better promo than Mr. Fuji. Mr. Perfect takes on Barry Hardy. Barry is a very Tiger King looking guy at this time. Jim Cornette is at the table and they eventually get him a headset. Vince was probably fed a line or two (like he knows who the Rock'n'Roll Express is) or his line that he's in the WWF fleeing the Smoky Mountain area (which was a concern that the company was going under when he arrived). Perfect wins with the Perfectplex. The Lex Express is approaching Erie PA. He's talking to a radio host! He poses with another dude. Next week, the Lex Luger/Yokozuna contract signing. We close at the table with Cornette saying the Bodies will be on next week's show.

It coincidentally served the purpose of getting Hogan/Hennig/Piper back into the WWF. sadly the world never got to see a Hulk Hogan WWC run in 2001/02

Maybe the WWE can sign a guy like Richard Holliday who has a good sympathetic story, and then put him under another name as a heel Guessing that being in the Peacock family doesn't mean that the WWE can call a tag team Law & Order. Which wouldn't be the worst name for a Holliday/Hammerstone tag team if Hammerstone wasn't under a 10,000 year contract to MLW.

trying to think of which 2020s wrestler would get the "thinly veiled US Attorney" gimmick in the WWE, in the spirit of Vince running with an IRS agent gimmick for 4 years if the WWE did managers (they don't), then the US Attorney could manage a goon who beats up the people who have been indicted for "crimes"

you gotta have a healthy spine to lay on your back and fuck

or hell, he could press an enter button on his tweets

How much overlap would there be between Fusient WCW and the XWF? Also, would Fusient have bought the Time-Warner talent contracts or would part of WCW not be available if Bischoff bought the company

Although it is sorta peculiar that Bam Bam was in the company for 3 years and only worked in Canada for a week in 1995. I could buy that a guy who served a stint in a Mexican jail would have problems getting into Canada and maybe not always consistently since someone like Cornette was banned from Canada over his 1980s incidents after being allowed in during the 90s

No wonder that Vince decided to get spinal surgery a few weeks after the Feds served a search warrant on him

I am excited to find out that it’s impossible to defame a fictional character. This information has empowered me to pursue my dream of libeling Spider-Man So how quickly did Hogan blow through his 7 figure settlement from Time-Warner for breach of contract?

looking at the history of the DSOTR Wikipedia page, this season was always 10 episodes and August 8th is 10 weeks from May 30th As for the episode... BRO BRO I'M NOT MAD, PLEASE DON'T PUT IN THE NEWSPAPER THAT I GOT MAD

Royals walkoff the Mets in extra innings on a walkoff balk

Around here, the Royals made 4 trades between their last pre-deadline game and the deadline The Nicky Lopez trade to Atlanta that I already mentioned Trading unreliable reliever Jose Cuas to the Cubs for an outfielder who is on the 40 man roster Trading Ryan Yarbrough to the Dodgers for a AAA Utility guy and a Complex League guy Trading Scott Barlow to the Padres for a California League pitcher and a Dominican League player Trading Yarbrough and Barlow weren't surprises but the Royals don't habitually leak and those trades weren't announced until 15-20 minutes post-deadline. Barlow had a rough July preceding the deadline and has had his velo decline a bit from 2021 to 2023. Yarbrough is a perfectly cromulent pitcher. After the deadline, the Royals have a few players in their 30s on the roster. Gas can reliever Taylor Clarke, Legend feeling his age Zack Greinke, alleged innings eater Jordan Lyles, garbage time reliever Nick Wittgren, World Series hero with 10/5 rights Salvador Perez, backup infielder Matt Duffy, 30 year old rookie with elite speed Dairon Blanco, and platoon bat Matt Beaty. So that's 8 guys and really only 3 of them are getting significant playing time to close out the year The Royals are also starting Salvador Perez at first base tonight because their regular 1B is injured, the Mets are starting a LHP and Matt Beaty doesn't hit LHPs.

Anyways, I was watching Captain Planet in the early 90s but never noticed the wrestling on TBS back then. I suspect that Vader was the scariest guy in the world to random kids around the time he was breaking Joe Thurman’s back and powerbombing Jack on the concrete Also, I can see how people would prefer Techwood over Center Stage due to the product being better during Techwood but Center Stage had better crowds

WCW Saturday Night (4/24/1993) Last week, Cactus Jack beat Vader by countout, the rematch is tonight 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell open the show and dance with some fans as Scorpio's the King of Center Stage. They take on Tony Vincent and Paul Lee. You likely know of Paul Lee, but if you don't, imagine if someone that looks like Buddy Landel made his living off of vaguely looking like Ric Flair. Bagwell pins Paul Lee with the Fisherman's Suplex. The Cole Twins arrive postmatch to dance with Scorpio and Bagwell. Then we get Tex Slazenger, Shanghai Pierce and the Wrecking Crew to beat up on the faces a little Cactus Jack emerges to go to ringside to talk to Tony. If I recall Have A Nice Day, he was to beat on himself a little in the car on the way to Center Stage for this match. This promo rules and he mentions Collette and Dewey. Jesse Ventura is in an another part of the area telling us that Shane Douglas isn't there to team with Ricky Steamboat vs the Wrecking Crew. Well, they can always put Tom Zenk under a mask. Fury wins the coin toss to take on Ricky Steamboat one on one. Jesse also gets to ask "Who would marry Cactus Jack?" during this match. Rage beats up on Ricky Steamboat a little behind the ref's back. Steamboat beats Fury with a schoolboy roll up after Fury accidentally hit Rage in the corner. Ravishing Rick Rude takes on Ben Jordan. Rude relays a message though Cappetta that Center Stage isn't worth the Rick Rude prematch spiel. Jordan jumps Rude and takes a beatdown. Rude wins with the Rude Awakening quick. Rick Rude talks postmatch and the computerized challenge gave Kensuke Sasaki a match with Dustin Rhodes. Eric Bischoff tells us about Slamboree: A Legend's Reunion. We'll see Vader vs Davey Boy for the WCW title (heywaitaminuteisntthereatitlematchlatertonight), Barry Windham defends against Arn Anderson. Eric passes it over to Gordon Solie, who is seated. Gordon tells us that Lord James Blears, Dusty Rhodes, The Assassin, and Blackjack Mulligan will be there. Mulligan will offer fans some free money from the family press at Slamboree. We take a look at Blackjack Mulligan from 1981. Bobby Eaton taking on the Master of the STF Erik Watts (Tony used that nickname for Watts). Several fans have Paula pennants and gear awaiting the Orndorff match. Chris Benoit emerges to spare us from watching Erik Watts apply the STF. Arn Anderson makes the save for Erik Watts. Bobby Eaton probably had better mic skills than Benoit. Also gonna note how ridiculous Benoit's shirt was when he made the run-in. Arn Anderson cuts a promo and tomorrow night, Arn Anderson takes on Shanghai Pierce (don't worry, that match is online https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrJ8NhKOEhU ). Anyways, Arn Anderson thinks Erik Watts is his own man now. Paul Orndorff vs Ron Simmons. Pretty amazing how this "don't chant Paula at me" thing is getting over in 1993. Also pretty sure the Paula script/color scheme is ripped off from the Pittsburgh Pirates. Center Stage also loves Ron Simmons. Looking at Wikipedia, we're close to the Summer of Whoomp There It Is (which is released as a single in May 1993) and there was Whoot There It Is released in March 1993, but Whoomp There It Is was playing in Atlanta strip clubs in the summer of 1992. It wouldn't surprise me if there was some overlap between Magic City and WCW wrestlers, because we're in a world where Ron Gant and Raven knew each other. Anyways this crowd is hot and Simmons has to win in the first 10 minutes. We get a time call at the half way point. I think Paul Orndorff using a DDT might be a good example of that move getting watered down a little. Simmons backdrops out of the piledriver as we do a countdown. Orndorff kicks out of the powerslam and rolls out of the ring. We go past 10 minutes and the match will continue with the title not at stake. Dustin Rhodes shows up to help Ron Simmons win a (non-title) victory. Dustin Rhodes certainly has an interesting shirt in this episode. Anyways, Paul Orndorff is back in his happy place as a heel after not really doing much for 5 years post-WWF. Scott Flash Norton is taking on Johnny Gunn. Johnny Gunn is one of the more Joe Manchin pro wrestlers we've ever had. Scott Norton wins with a powerslam. A few words from The Assassin about Slamboree. Nice open shirt and medallion on the Assassin this week as he looks like he's going out to a strip club after this card. The Hollywood Blonds take on Larry Santo and Joey Maggs. Nice that Larry Santo gets to see his former tag team partner Cactus Jack wrestle for the title. Holy hell, they put LEDs in the Blonds boots that light up when they walk, the Blondes are the coolest kids in elementary school in 1993. LA Gear is near Hollywood afterall. There's still time before the heat death of the universe for somebody to steals this idea but the LEDs don't really show up well on TV. Blonds win with the Atomic Blonde which is sorta like the Rocket Launcher, if it involved Steve Austin doing a splash. We hear some words from the Blonds and Ricky Steamboat comes out. Eventually punches are exchanged and Shane Douglas arrives with his briefcase. Fiery babyface Shane Douglas! What a world! Now it's time for the main event, buckle the fuck up. Cactus Jack vs Vader. Cactus Jack bodyslams Harley Race before we start. Good to see Harley getting his exercise in. Time to fight past the entrance at Center Stage. Lots of fighting at the entrance. Vader dropped chest first on the rail. Race takes a slam and the elbow on the floor. The fans go Whoomp/Whoot there it is for this brawl. Vader dropping Jack hard on a front slam (which looked more brutal than the safe way of doing that move). Unlike last week, Jack can counter the corner assbeating at least once. Vader takes control, Samoan Drop, Vader Bomb, another Vader Bomb. Jack rolls out of the way of.. a top rope stomp? Jack takes control and clothesline to the floor. Jack bodyslam on the mat. Vader moves out of the way of the somersault. And Race pulls up the mats. And Cactus Jack takes a powerbomb on the concrete and that's the match. Turns out this wasn't the closest Mick Foley came to killing himself in front of an live audience, but by the standards of 1993 wrestling. Holy fuck. And we return from the break to see Jack being put on the stretcher. The crowd is, obviously, really stunned to have seen a guy get powerbombed on the concrete. Scaring the fuck out of children, a fine wrestling tradition. We close by seeing Jack wheeled to the ambulance, somebody being filmed taking the bag off of the turnbuckle, and we fade out. Of course, certain things happen to fuck this up, you already know that, but the Havoc match ruled, so let's pretend they didn't do goofy stuff before Havoc. As noted for the 4/17 episode, pretty big gap between the squash matches and other goings-on in WCW, and Mick Foley showing that he is a goddamned maniac that we're lucky to still have with us after all these years.

the Royals trading Nicky Lopez to the Braves trade is getting panned because the Royals got an older player who had only pitched once for the Braves and was available last week Nicky Lopez had a super-fluky 2021 but outside of 2021, he's an infielder who doesn't hit but amasses value through defense The Royals have a clusterfuck of random pitchers that they can't seem to coherently sort through because they have 13 spots and 23 pitchers on their 40 man.

Somebody uploaded the episode of Turn-On, a 1969 sketch comedy show that was pretty much cancelled before the first episode ended. Here's episode 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxs5ki5e8nE Here's the unaired episode 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjE6mxY_02Q I think my thoughts on this show overlap with this YouTube comment by the Uploader: I think you'd either need to have been alive in 1969 or really messed up on drugs to fully appreciate this show.

Watched some 1983 World Class (11/26/83) the other day with the match of the Freebirds beating the Von Erichs due to Buddy Robert's headpiece of death. Also a Kevin vs Flair match ending in a screwjob. But let's watch WCW now.. WCW Saturday Night (4/17/1993) We start off with Jesse referencing "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith and Run DMC as they talk about the musical tastes of the Ron Simmons/Van Hammer team. Jesse speculating that Shanghai Pierce is wearing a mask because he didn't pay his taxes or he's an illegal immigrant. We got a DQ to end this match as Ron Simmons is not exactly winning from the regime change. Johnny B. Badd takes on Todd Zane. Todd Zane looks like someone who aspired to look like pre-charisma Ted DiBiase. Later tonight a look at Scott Flash Norton. Zane gets to kick out of a powerslam before jobbing to a left hook (the kiss that don't miss) Scott Flash Norton is a huge man. He beats up on Scott McKeever and pins him by putting his hand on McKeever's face. Scott Norton looking like the buffest member of the Armstrong Family is a different look from his time in the nWo in 97/98 Arn Anderson challenged Barry Windham last week. Chick Donovan is 11 years older than Arn Anderson. We got Chick Donovan working Arn's knee and Arn Anderson doing Anderson arm work. Arn wins with the Spinebuster. Ric Flair shows up in a stripped shirt to do an interview with Arn and Tony Schiavone. Arn interrupts Ric to say that it's time for him to step up and not be a walk-behinder (not in those words, of course). Of course we know which one of those two is the one that beats Barry Windham for the NWA title. Paul Orndorff doesn't want people to chant Paula. He's facing Gunner, who doesn't have a last name and looks like a generic Georgia indy guy or a Power Plant graduate. Jesse invoking the concept of being guilty of murder by association in regards to Tony Schiavone causing people to chant Paula. Gunner is dressed like someone who aspires to be the 3rd member of The Patriots with Firebreaker Chip and Todd Champion. Orndorff wins with the piledriver. Steven Regal isn't a lord yet. He's facing Bobby Baker. Fans briefly chant "USA" as Regal is wearing UK tights. Jesse thinks Regal is too nice, so this is before he's a heel. Regal wins with a butterfly suplex. Dustin Rhodes does an interview, his Dusty voice is lighter by this time. He invites babyface Steve Regal in to talk up Davey Boy Smith. Well, this is different from what they're gonna do in a few months. The Hollywood Blondes take on Chris Sullivan and Italian Stallion. Somehow Chris Sullivan's mustache makes him look as italian as the Stallion. Jesse with a Marge Schott reference. Upon further reflection, Chris Sullivan's mustache makes him look like Howard Finkel with hair. Tony sees the opening to talk about the movie Jesse is working on with Stallone and Wesley Snipes (Demolition Man). Blondes win with a double team body vice/dropkick The Cole Twins take on Bob Cook and Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker. Okay. The Cole Twins have Brian Bosworth haircuts if you're not familiar. Jesse gets to mention being a Mayor during this match. Coles win. They're congratulated by Scorpio and Bagwell and they all dance post match. Dusty gets to talk a bit because Slamboree is coming up Barry Windham beats up on Tommy Angel. The fans chant for Arn. Barry wins with a DDT. Jesse talks to Barry Windham postmatch. The main event, Cactus Jack vs Vader in a rematch from The Main Event (which will be preempted this week). This is the first of two matches involving these two on this show, for the record. Doesn't take long for Vader to forearm Jack's nose into his skull in the corner. The early part of this match is built around the psychology of Vader hitting Jack directly in the face. We go to the outside, the rail is involved, Harley bumps, we take a break and come back in the ring. Vader starts punching Jack directly in the face some more. Vaderbomb. We go back to the floor. Vader accidentally clotheslines Harley. Gotta love this insane brawl where they also have to avoid getting counted out of the ring. Vader splashes the rail. Jack somersaults onto Vader. Jack beats the count and wins by countout. Surely this won't lead to anything wild next week. Vader challenges Jack for a rematch next week. I had seen Jack/Vader 1 before and it rules hard, and it's even more wild in the context of a show that had a lot of enhancement matches and assorted 1993 WCW. And then there's a match with Mick Foley reminding us that he's a crazy person. I'll watch the attempted murder of Cactus Jack sometime later.

Koko B. Ware: talent scout also Kurt Angle with a quote about the crowd that could have been said on TV by a heel

Gary Strydom

Nixon in Futurama comes to mind with Vince

Daniel Bryan seems like the sort of guy who would time travel to work Danny Hodge in Oklahoma every night for a year

watching the 8/24/1987 Prime Time Wrestling On the 8/17 episode, we saw One Man Gang laying out like 5 people with front suplexes, which was an unintentionally hilarious visual. This big mohawked dude beating people with the Gourdbuster, one move that doesn't involve his weight really dropping on the guy. This week, it's One Man Gang vs Outback Jack. I don't know how much Outback Jack I had seen. Jack looked like he had a diet mainly consisting of cigarettes. I guess that the front suplex is a good finisher when you consider it's taking a bump on your knees in those hard WWF rings Also, more Lanny and Don Muraco for a Rougeaus/Shadows match Lucious Johnny V is out of the running for Bam Bam! A look back at Paul Orndorff firing Bobby Heenan in favor of Oliver Humperdink. To be fair, Heenan might have had a point with Rude having a better body than Orndorff since I think Orndorff's messed up arm was sorta apparent if you knew to look for it. Obviously something is messed up if you're firing Bobby Heenan for Oliver Humperdink in 1987. Ted DiBiase having to lay it on thick for all the people in La Crosse, Wisconsin who don't quite get his gimmick. DiBiase pays one job guy to take his spot vs another job guy. Then he takes the money back after he loses. Much like stealing money intended for welfare recipients in Mississippi, allegedly. Don Muraco yelling "GRAB THEM CAKES" is probably the headlight of a JYD/Ron Bass match. Did Ron Bass do anything memorable in the WWF aside from getting Brutus out of Summerslam 88? Lanny getting Muraco to say 1987 JYD was in the best wrestling shape of his life is some real work. Lanny's voice is just a little too distinctive for being a play by play guy, and that's in a world where the WWF would hire random AWA announcers to fuck over Verne. We got JYD in non finishes in back to back weeks. Last week double DQ with the One Man Gang, this week double countout with Ron Bass. Gorilla and Bobby covering for Muraco's commentary by pondering if his throat is injured due to Bob Orton. Rick Martel beats Barry Horowitz, gets attacked by the Islanders, and Tito Santana makes the save. Love Jesse's indignation that Tito would make a save. heel commentary lately just isn't as willing too stand up for the right of two Islanders to beat up Rick Martel 2 on 1. Now will Santana and Martel come some sort of strike force? more great Jesse the Body work about how if Superstar Graham had a bad hip, he shouldn't have gotten into a posedown with Butch Reed. I kinda want 1980s Jesse the Body hosting a podcast and insisting that his POV on various matters is absolutely the right one. Which.. is actually how podcasts work, so. Harley Race insisting on taking his trademark bump to the floor on a clothesline over the top and his trademark slide down the ringsteps. Harley putting his work in with Brutus Beefcake. Like I expected a good amount of this, I had seen Harley Race vs the Ultimate Warrior from early 88. Lanny and Muraco are on commentary for this one too. Harley takes another trademark bump to the floor. When I was growing up, a few years before I started watching wrestling, I had heard of the sleeperhold (two of my cousins were wrestling fans) and the whole concept of the sleeper was terrifying to me for some reason. Anyways, Brutus loses but puts Bobby Heenan in the sleeper. Bobby tapping into his deep expertise from the AWA of claiming the babyface sleeperhold is a choke. PTW episodes make up for some of how much 1980s WWF isn't on the network due to various reasons (and the trademark problem with Superstars of Wrestling) because Gorilla/Bobby are just tremendous at this time.

early "fun" in St. Louis with Ian Happ's backswing hitting Cardinals scapegoat Willson Contreras, knocking him out of the game, then Miles Mikolas hits Happ (on the second try) and gets ejected, and now the Cubs are putting the boots to the Cardinals

I guess if you throw a shutout and hit two homers, it's possible you could leave a game due to cramping