BobbyWhioux

DIRK KUYT almost scored off a corner, but his header went way wide. Dutch get one anyway on their next corner.

More garbage time goals for Spanish players potentially on your fantasy team, as Torres taps one in after being wide open for a crisp pass

So I should be offended? I think even if both teams go all out, if they play a draw, the backlash will be there. Yeah but if they go all out and draw then the backlash is just Sour Grapes ("LOL should've won your games when you had the chance, eh? :)") If it's a Worked draw then the backlash is right.

Algeria and Korea either can't play defense or refused to and it was great fun. Screw psychology, lets just take turns hitting all our flippy highspots until we run out of time. Whereas Belgium and Russia exchanged side headlocks for 80 minutes until Belgium remembered it was supposed to DDT somebody.

For Piranesi Cameroon, Spain, Australia, England, and Bosnia are all mathematically eliminated. Japan remains mathematically alive but they have to beat Colombia and and by a big margin and/or while scoring a lot of goals to do so... so yeah. Honduras is also theoretically alive but they're 4 behind Ecuador in goal differential and they're not scoring 4 on SWI unless they murder the goalie beforehand. Which they might try. But actually not even then because they're that bad at scoring. Brazil is not mathematically in and could actually lose a tiebreaker to Croatia if they somehow lost to Cameroon and Croatia tied but LOOLJSDLDKHJL:DSKLDSGJDKSLG:SHFKLDFJ:DS so just assume they're the group A winner A: MEX vs CRO is basically an elimination game while BRA wins the group by curbstomping Cameroon (BRA v CAM is good if you like a Squash Match) B: NED vs CHI is for knockout phase positioning i.e. Avoiding Brazil C: CIV vs GRE is for 2nd place in that group (again, Japan could have a shot but don't bet on it) D: ITA vs URG is effectively an elimination game. And for second place unless ENG rises from the grave to beat CRC E: FRA vs ECU is probably more fun unless the idea of Swiss people getting mugged appeals to you, as HON can hurt people but can't score. SWI and ECU are both in with a win. F: ARG clinched, BOS out. So it's whether you want to watch ARG scrimmage with Nigeria or Iran fight for life against Bosnia G: GHA vs POR is a fight for a chance to live that won't even matter if/when USA and GER fingerpoke of doom each other H: ALG vs RUS is basically an elimination game. KOR has a chance of backing in if they run up the score on an indifferent, already clinched BEL.

USA and Germany both advance if either match ends in a draw. USA vs Germany is one of the matches. Ergo Only better camouflaged this time around

Algeria playing exactly like you'd expect/hope a team that Needs To Win would play. Night and day with the early game

For 82 or so minutes Belgium looked every bit like a team that knew they only needed a tie and boy was it a snoozer, almost literally. Toughest viewing for me since JPN vs GRE

Argentina got bailed out by their MVP. Iran really looked like they could have this one at a couple points: that one header by Dejagah just missed. And really, even Messi could've/should've had that free kick from close range ten minutes before the goal he actually got.

ESPN has shown Diego Maradona in the stadium crowd a couple times... ...at least I think it's Maradona. Looks more like maybe Khaddafi didn't die after all.

He didn't start against the US either. I imagine he's either starting to get old (he's the older brother?), not quite at 100%, and/or they see him as better used like Ivory Coast is using Drogba this time around. 2nd half Sparkplug, etc.

All's good in Shark Territory , they've found a fresh scapegoat and already unloaded him, next stop 2015 Stanley Cup Winners! The Color Analyst was too expensive and/or negative! Of course! It all makes sense now. [insert kitten .gif here]

Russo in late 80's NWA rebrands The Great Muta as "The Great Puta" and changes his gimmick accordingly.

Alejandro Moreno is the snarkiest motherfucker I've ever heard do color analysis on a legit sports broadcast and I want ESPN to keep him on permanent retainer. Has really stepped it up in HON vs ECU and become Latino Bobby The Brain Heenan, it's fantastic to hear.

Grover Cleveland already was booked by Russo though

Every European royal family with a Hapsburg connection turns on England and forms the Old World Order.

Jerry Lawler turns on himself and throws a fireball into his own eye to cost himself a match against Andy Kaufman, turning heel in the process, because he wants in to Hollywood and/or he realized he agreed with every stereotype of southern 'rasslin fans Andy subjected the people to and Lawler is "tired of representing you yokels".

Also it's heel Tito vs face Shiek

Well, Gobblety Gooker replaces Ultimate Warrior in the Ultimate Test Of Survival at 1990 Survivor Series and carries Hogan and Santana to victory, obviously. This coming after Gooker attacked the Warrior backstage, forcing Warrior out of the match in the first place. Which Gooker eventually reveals he did because he knew Warrior himself was going to turn on Hogan during the bout, planning to injure Hogan so as to avoid defending the title against him in the future. And then Gooker wins the Royal Rumble (drawing a special and unprecedented "#31" that was in the egg Gooker hatched from all along).

It was interesting to see them completely give up on even trying to play their corner kicks in the air because they (presumably) knew they were too small to ever win a header against the bigger Greeks, thus getting them airborne = throwing them away. Japan needs a couple 6'4'' gaijin ringers to play forward

addendum: even IF others pick up the Seven Nation Army chant, get a new song anyway. Have had enough of hearing it during football games. No matter what football we're talking.

Wow, this crowd. Belgians haven't drawn this kind of heat since King Leopold.

Already being compared to 50 Cent's ceremonial first pitch a couple weeks back. Hilarious

Bring back that tournament on the boat from the Nike 2006 ads. That was actually 02. 06 was Jose vs Fat Kid Fantasy Draft (feat. der geist von Beckenbauer). Which I randomly remembered and rewatched on youtube today, for reasons unknown.

And Roenick Forlan is off.