SirSmUgly

Huh, I went back and looked up Hart and Soul and ended up in a Wikipedia rabbit hole. It's because WWF wanted to have Canadian Stampede during the week of the actual Calgary Stampede, which is in early July, so they shifted the PPVs around that show accordingly. I would guess that something similar happened this year, but I have no idea what WWE's PLE schedule is now outside of the big three.

Show #203 – 23 August 1999 “The one where WCW tries to kill their fanbase in Las Vegas, in Nevada, in the United States, on Earth, in the Milky Way, etc., etc.” OK, this SummerSlam ad played again, and I caught the date. It’s tomorrow. That’s a little early in August for that show, ain’t it? Anyway, let’s Nitro! We get the a more traditional open to the show: Recap of last week/WCW logo/title sequence, all in that order. No title sequence fifty-five minutes in this week! Mikey Whipwreck is still in the company. It seems that he outlasted Hak and Chastity even though the latter were actually over as a midcard act. His opponent: Chase Tatum, who is no longer a No Limit Soldier. He’s about to leave the company, too. This is his last TV match or close to it. Tatum visually reminds me of the stripper who told Dee Reynolds that she was his “rock bottom” on Always Sunny. Tatum isn’t any good, but Whipwreck at least gets something watchable out of him by fighting up from underneath. There must be audio issues because I don’t hear any commentary for a chunk of the match; that (sadly) improved things. Sid comes down and kills these dudes. Charles Robinson is out to help count his “wins.” Sid talks about Goldberg. Fin. Billy Kidman and Kimberly awkwardly talk over one another backstage. Kidman apologizes for what he said last week and intimates that he’s got his eye on one of the other ladies, heh heh heh, Kim’s cool with it and says that she’s going to try and cool Page down. Figuratively, not literally. No, wait, I guess literally, since body heat does rise with extreme anger. Goldberg comes across DDP and the Jersey Triad backstage and they get into it because why the hell not? In fact, Goldberg and DDP should have some unfinished business from back in April that it might be interesting for them to go ahead and finish. Tony S. gets his wires crossed and says that Page was attacking Kidman backstage as the Jersey Triad comes to the ring. They do some mediocre-verging-on-bad mic work. Mostly, that’s because DDP is right behind Rick Steiner in trying to establish catchphrases that don’t work for him. I can’t say “don’t work at all” because Booker T. got one of Page’s catchphrases over. Page threatens both Kidman and Goldberg and challenges the latter to a match later tonight. Sting hits the ring to talk. We’re sixteen minutes in and have had one match that was a Sid Special. Sting starts by saying, and I swear to fuck I’m not lying, this: STIZZING IN THA HIZZOUSE. OK, I’m out. While I daydream about other things, Sting acts like a dork and tries to get BACK IN BLACK over. Wait, hold on, I’m back; here comes Lex Luger. I see my hunch was correct! Lex and Sting hug while I am annoyed that I can hear production cues underneath the primary audio. Fucking WCW. Luger gets a mic and reiterates his long, close friendship with Sting through thick and thin. He’s here to support Sting, but he’s also here to warn Sting that maybe Hulk Hogan is on some secret heel bullshit. In general, he is correct. Luger tells Sting not to trust Hulk, but Sting is reluctant to mistrust Hulk. At least publicly at this moment. Luger wishes Sting luck and shakes his hand, but you know, I think Luger put an inkling of doubt into Sting’s mind, which we all are about to appreciate him for. Mike Tenay ambushes Eric Bischoff as Bisch arrives at the show and asks if he’s going to be the new (on-screen) WCW President. Bisch blows him off, but I have an answer from the future: HAHAHAHA NOPE! The Cat’s music hits as Tenay is still talking to Bischoff outside, so I scramble to mute the audio. Ah, there we go, the correct theme. Ernest Miller is down here with Sonny Onoo, fresh off of punching Buff Bagwell in the face for going to Kevin Nash and getting the finish of their Road Wild match changed. He in fact says that he beat the hell out of Buff at Road Wild, but Buff’s still delusional about it, so he’s challenging Buff to another fight tonight. Babyface Buff Bagwell is nearly unwatchable; the guy is complete ass. His mom is pretty entertaining, though. They have a straight wrestling match instead of Miller doing a bunch of entertaining (to me, at least) shtick to trigger a bunch of cornball bikers. Buff wins a dropkick off a rope run and the Cat bails. Miller jaws at the crowd until Buff goes out and dumps him back in the ring, but the Cat hits a kick soon afterward and takes over. He lands a Moonwalk Elbow, which I think is where he ends up on the whole “signature elbowdrop” deal. He tries another one and misses, which sparks a Bagwell comeback. A Buff neckbreaker and splash scores a two count; Buff tries to press the offense and Miller forearms him in the junk, then tosses him outside so that Sonny Onoo can stomp him. Lex Luger comes back out to back Onoo off, which distracts the Cat and allows Buff to land a quick Blockbuster for three. Totally Buff does the opposite of pre-exploding! Promo: Berlyn arrives in a week, and we’re all just going to pretend that we’ve never seen the guy before. I love the ‘90s font style and graphics they use in this video to spell Berlyn’s name. Kanyon seconds Diamond Dallas Page to the ring for that impromptu match against Goldberg. Page is Goldberg’s best opponent in my opinion, so I have expectations for this match which probably aren’t fair, actually. Page does some pre-match mic work for some fucking reason. Goldberg comes down to his WWE theme because I guess someone got all fidgety about “Crush ‘Em.” The Network is inconsistent about themes in a few places. Bam Bam Bigelow runs up from behind and clocks Goldberg with something, but Goldberg chooses to attack Page and Kanyon rather than Bam Bam. This is a handicap match, I guess. Goldberg spears Kanyon, who takes a wild bump and folds himself in half like an accordion, then spears a charging Bam Bam before DDP runs away. Goldberg tells the camera that he plans on fucking up Page’s world on the next Nitro. He eventually enters the ring, gets a mic, and lets the crowd know what he said to the audience at home into the camera. It was pretty badass, if you wanted to know, but ultimately, we didn't get the match that we were teased. The WTR have a music video set to their Jimmy Hart-penned theme. MUTE. Some weird kid stands around with some plants-slash-regular ham ‘n eggers who chant for Lodi in a tent. They have a Lodi party and then a masked guy shows up and there’s a food fight. What is happening right now? Guess who finds it safer to hop off the stage rather than walk down the ramp? That’s right: Juventud Guerrera. That fucking ramp. Juvi’s getting a shot at Lenny Lane (w/Lodi) and the Cruiserweight Championship. Juvi shakes his ass. Lenny applauds it. Juvi is enraged. Welp. Look, here we go, here’s the match: It’s shitty “comedy” spots interspersed with some decent fast-paced wrestling. Honestly, I stopped caring like two seconds in. I will say that Lane hits a wild somersault splash that he sorta overshoots on Juvi and Lodi at ringside. Lane’s definitely upped his game to a level I didn’t know he had since that first Rey Misterio Jr. match last Nitro. Lane rips off two shoulderblocks and a powerslam; that’s a neat spot for a larger base against the cruiserweights to use. Maybe there’s something there, talent-wise, but WCW was a mess, and he apparently never unlocked it entirely. Juvi eats a lot of offense from Lane and a bit of offense from Lodi, including a nice sit-out powerbomb for two. Lane misses a corner charge and takes a Psicosis bump, maybe distracted by the homophobic chants of the crowd in kayfabe. Juvi gets two on an awkward sunset flip bomb and then, MOTHER FUCKER, it’s FUCKING SID. FUCK OFF, WCW. This match got decent when it became a straight-up wrestling match. Anyway, WCW is trying to make me despise Sid, but I despise Kevin Nash’s shitty booking instead. Nothing like Sid destroying your Cruiserweight Champ and his former Cruiserweight Champ opponent to make that Cruiserweight division feel oh so special! Sid yammers on as we go to break. This mother fucker is STILL talking when we get back from break. Why is Charles Robinson stanning Sid instead of Ric Flair now? Oh, who cares. This angle fucking SUCKS. I actually think the idea is pretty good, but the execution is complete garbage. Sid’s an underrated talker, but he is doing WAY the fuck too much talking lately. No need for him to cut a promo every time he ruins a match. Instead of whatever dub the Network sometimes uses for Sid’s theme, they should have used his Sycho Sid theme for dubbing. HOLY SHIT, now there’s a live performance of the fucking WTR song. FUCK YOU, WCW. I don’t need any luck to get through Russo-led WCW. I feel confident that Bischoff-and-Nash WCW has prepped me for Russo WCW. It’s going to get dumb and bad and shitty, I know, but this past year-plus has been dumb and bad and shitty, mostly. Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morrus, and Barbarian work a trios tag against Shane Douglas, Perry Saturn, and Dean Malenko. No offense to these guys, but I like Saturn a whole lot and I like Barb quite a bit, even though his work sort of slid off a cliff after 1997. After that, I could leave all these fellas to the side. That includes Dean Malenko, who secretly became total shit after the Chris Jericho feud. Barb does a nice chop and everybody moves with pace except for Brian Knobbs, so there’s that. Malenko is FIP, but gets a boot up on Knobbs’s second-rope splash, which he uses as a finisher. Saturn hits the hot tag and cleans house; the match breaks down shortly after. Saturn handles Knobbs, but Rick Steiner runs down and hits a diving bulldog while Saturn signals for the DVD. The ref turns around to see Knobbs splash a prone Saturn for three. Chris Benoit runs down and challenges Steiner to a U.S. Championship match right now. That Revolution catchphrase is fucking STUPID, by the way. What in the fuck is OUT WITH EVOLUTION, IN WITH REVOLUTION supposed to mean? Idiotic. I don’t like the Revolution as a concept or a going concern. Hype video: It’s this same Berlyn video. Let’s hurry up and have Duggan kill him off so we can get the Boogie Knights back together. The Insane Clown Posse (w/Vampiro) comes to the ring. Whither art thou, Raven? Aw, so long, buddy; your 1997/98 up through Fall Brawl was fantastic. The Raven/Saturn tag team in 1999 ruled, too. Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman are their opponents. I love Shaggy’s whiffed lariat. It looks terrible, but in such a hilarious way that I can’t be mad. Then he goes and takes a nice running flip bump into the guardrail. Rey and Kidman dominate Shaggy, who manages a clothesline and gets a tag before Rey and Kidman beat up Violent J instead. J lands a clothesline of his own and Kidman is FIP for a little bit. Wait, no, not even that long. Shaggy tags back in and almost immediately eats a rebound clothesline and a springboard dropkick. Rey hits a Bronco Buster on Shaggy, so J jumps him and then hits a nice press slam onto Shaggy’s outstretched knee. Shaggy lands a guillotine legdrop, but only gets two, and then J is a bit out of place for a Rey dive, and as the ref checks on them, Vampiro gets in, stops a Kidman SSP, but then hits Shaggy with a lariat instead. Kidman covers, barely gets three as Shaggy kicks out right at the third slap of the mat, and then gets stomped by the heels for a bit before Eddy Guerrero runs them off. Gene Okerlund is in the ring to interview Hulk Hogan. Fine, let’s get this done and dusted. I don’t know, Hulk says his son saw Luger out here and called his dipshit dad to see if he was going to turn heel again, but he’s definitely not and Sting is totes his friend. Totes. Let’s see if Chris Benoit can get something good out of this absolute fucking bum Rick Steiner. The answer is that he gets something solid, but it’s ninety, ninety-five percent him. Great selling, good intensity, vicious strikes as always. He chops the shit out of Steiner after hopping onto the apron, in particular. Steiner’s trying to incorporate something cool like that Oklahoma Stampede, but it’s not a great Oklahoma Stampede. He also takes entirely too much of this match. Benoit explodes into a comeback with German suplexes, then goes up and tries a diving headbutt. Steiner yanks Charles Robinson on top of him; Lil’ Naitch takes the brunt of the blow. Steiner grabs the U.S. title and plans to use it, but Saturn runs in the ring and jumps him. Sid comes down to jump Saturn. Saturn gets powerbombed, and the heels leave before Benoit gets back up and comes after them. Benoit cuts a more typical-for-him crappy promo in which he reiterates the challenge he made on the previous Thunder. Please stop chanting REVOLUTION, Benoit. Please. If we were playing EWR, a certain someone would have triggered a notification that he was used too much on this show. Speaking of “used too much on this show,” here come the WTR's, also known as the West Texas (Let’s See What’s On) RAW’s. They (Barry and Kendall) are facing Harlem Heat, and if we’re getting a stupid-ass tag title switch for no good reason, let’s just do it. I’m irate about Booker T.’s booking in 1999. Fucking terrible. I thought he was friends with Kevin Nash? Booker actually helps make Kendall Windham look like he has a little talent in the opening sequence, but even though Harlem Heat looks like they’re going to roll, they run into trouble. Stevie is FIP, but for a very short period. The match breaks down after the hot tag, and Booker lands an axe kick and a missile dropkick on Kendall for a visual three, but the ref is distracted. Hennig hits Booker in the back of the head with the cowbell and Kendall covers for three. Truly some WCW-ass nonsense. They’ve ramped up the Berlyn promo stuff just for it to get blown up by that worthless sack of crap Jim Duggan. At least get me a new promo package if you're going to run Berlyn promos multiple times in the show. Vampiro comes to the ring to face Eddy Guerrero while Tony S. announces a new Nitro Girl search. Let’s see if that actually comes off or not. Vampiro attacks Eddy with strikes and a pretty sick belly-to-belly that launches the hell out of the guy, actually. Vamp misses a corner charge and Eddy hits some sick strikes of his own. He sticks Vamp with a back elbow for two and follows up with a snap suplex and some punches. Las Vegas is bored or tired or something, and Eddy tries to fire them up. They are barely responsive. WCW is trying to kill Las Vegas as a town, and they might be doing a decent job at it. They wander around outside the ring for a bit; Eddy puts Vampiro back in the ring, then has a slightly awkward series of counters that end with Vampiro putting a boot into Eddy’s chest. These guys feel slightly off sometimes, but for the most part, this is a perfectly decent match. Vamp goes up, gets caught, and gets taken to them at with a superplex. Eddy goes up for a Frog Splash, and ICP walks down to ringside, so Eddy splashes them instead. Yikes, he and Shaggy clashed shins. I know that shit hurt. Vampiro takes over when Eddy makes it back to the ring. Where are Rey and Kidman? It’s dumb that the heels always show up at ringside, but the babyfaces are just chilling in the back until it’s too late. Oh yeah, it’s too late: By the time Rey and Kidman show up, Eddy has already lost the match after clashing heads with Shaggy. Holy cow, this show has had a bunch of garbage finishes and shitty match layouts. It’s incredible. Again, this feels like a Russo show even before Russo even showed up. You know, if Sting actually does turn heel here, it’s going to be pretty incredible that the guy who is an unshakeable number two babyface in the crowd’s pecking order behind Goldberg will be making an ill-advised heel turn when Hulk Hogan suddenly turns babyface. Michael Buffer makes a boatload of cash to introduce Sting and the Hulkster. They can’t resolve a collar-and-elbow and get heated. Hogan gets a hammerlock; Sting gets the ropes. Just get to the twisty-turny stuff already. Hogan is cooked and also takes too much of these matches. They deadlock on a couple of shoulderblocks, so Hogan ties up and slips in a roll-up for two. There’s a Greco-Roman knuckle lock. Hogan wins it and tries to transition into an arm wringer, but Sting gets a sloppy small package for two. Hogan controls the next lockup and hits knees and a running lariat for two. He lands an AXE BOMBAH~ and a back suplex for two more. He looks for another lariat, but Sting ducks it and hits one of his own. Sting lands a few punches in the corner and then a back rake, which is a heel Hogan move. Then again, it’s a babyface Hogan move because Hogan is an inherently bad kayfabe character. Sting tries an elbow drop, but Hogan fires up. Hogan hits a very weak boot to Sting’s midsection before tossing him to the floor so we can have a lukewarm obligatory ringside brawl. We finally make it back to the ring, where Hogan drops an elbow for two. He ducks down after shooting Sting into the ropes and gets kicked. Sting follows up and lands a second-rope splash, Vader-style, for two before going to a chinlock. It’s a long chinlock spot. Hogan eventually fires up again, hits a face crusher, and punches Sting a ton before hitting a big boot. He goes for the legdrop, but Sting moves and then lands a Stinger Splash when Hogan gets in the corner. He tries a second one, jumps into a boot, and tries a third one and misses entirely. Hogan does his stupid wind-up punch, and that’s when *sigh* Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner run in. These two guys are just being driven into unwatchability, at least Sid; Rick Steiner was pretty much already at that point. I’m baffled why Rick's being pushed this much and getting this much airtime. Goldberg and Luger run in for the save. Hogan promises Sting another title shot. Even though I'm glad that the Network excised the KISS performance, ultimately, there's no other conclusion to come to: This episode was some bullshit. -25 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I think all the backtracking and re-spawning enemies work well in 2D, but the gameplay is awful in 3D. It's a minority opinion, but I think Prime stinks. Literally every 2D Metroid game is better. I'd rather play Prime than Other M, Echoes, or Corruption, but that's about it.

Authorities are good if they have credentials. Unless the teacher running the class only has two semesters of junior college and no degree.

Good morning, class! Today's lesson about argumentative fallacies will start with an example of whataboutism.

Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-six – 19 August 1999 "The WCW Gang puts a Rey Misterio Jr. match on my Dirt Worst list...Ah, WCW in 1999" Trying to squeeze in a Thunder on another busy day… Tenay at least says that he’s not bothering to look at the actual record because Sid is too volatile to challenge on his claimed record…That’s a much better way to approach things for commentary…Silver King is wrestling Psicosis…Please do not send Sid out here…I’m sure it’s going to happen…Actually, I find that expecting Sid to come out has already sort of ruined this match because I’m not getting invested in the opening…I love Psicosis, but sometimes he insists on hitting immersion breaking spots…If your opponent hangs themselves on the ropes and could easily wriggle away, but has to wait a good fifteen seconds, just looking at you, while you climb up top to drop a leg on them, maybe the spot isn’t very good after all… Silver King catches Psicosis coming through the ropes and controls the bout…He gets two on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and physically threatens ref Billy Silverman…In a favored spot for the heels in the back, Psicosis sneaks two on a sunset flip, and King gets up and mows him down with a lariat…King tries a double springboard on a moonsault, but whiffs…Here’s Sid…I’ve stopped paying attention…Just imagine what comes next; you can probably figure it out yourselves… When does Goldberg fuck up Sid’s car?...That’s the only thing I want to see when it comes to this Sid/Goldberg feud… It’s Al Green…I wonder if he’s so tired of bein’ a jabrone…Dean Malenko’s music hits, but it’s Shane Douglas who comes to the ring…Over the past three months, both Chris Benoit and Shane Douglas have used Dean Malenko’s theme…I know Turner didn’t slash Bischoff’s budget that damn much…Douglas came into the company doing lukewarm worked-shoot promos and has been absolutely mediocre in the ring so far…This match is what it is…Douglas hits a pretty nasty-looking neck snap…He lands a stalling vertical…Decent offense from the Franchise for the first time in this WCW run…He tries to post Green with an atomic drop, but Green refuses to let his crotch anywhere near the post, so it looks awful…This was longer than it needed to be…Green got more offense than was necessary…Douglas reverses a suplex into a gutbuster, then lands a Pittsburgh Plunge for three… Gene Okerlund cuts an interview with, ugh, Rick Steiner…Steiner attempts to make complete sentences…It goes poorly…Okerlund claims that the Revolution has been challenging Steiner…When did that happen?...Steiner keeps calling himself THE DFG…He’s tossing catchphrases and nicknames out every week, and they all stink…Steiner opens his jacket and has a t-shirt on that says BITE ME…It’s a shirt from some burger joint promoting its food…This guy is a fucking tool…There’s a standing challenge out from him to any Revolution member for his TV title… Promo: Glacier has been repackaged as Coach Buzz Stern…This little sketch introducing his character has me already wanting him to go back to being comedic Glacier and failing to back up Norman Smiley… Bobby Blaze, Adrian Byrd, and Dave Burkhead are some Power Plant guys…They face the trio of Lord Steven Regal, Dave Taylor, and Chris Adams…What if, instead of having cruiserweights wrestle matches to nowhere against one another, you put a few of them into trios that can tag up sometimes?...Tenay talks about a Nitro segment where Crush got in a limo with a KISS license plate…We saw nothing of the sort on the Network edit of the episode… The British vets steamroll the Power Plant pukes…Regal makes the most of a Bobby Blaze sunset flip…He grabs his partners for leverage and frantically scratches for safety after Charles Robinson kicks his leverage away…His attempt to avoid being sunset flipped was akin to Wile E. Coyote trying to scramble back onto the ledge after realizing that he’s run into thin air…There’s always something enjoyable about a Regal match…This squash is entirely too long, but it was probably worth it for that spot…Unless, like, Sid ends up coming out and destroying six guys…And I am not kidding, here comes Sid and Rick Steiner…Oh man, this “fake win streak” angle SUCKS…It’s now reached the point where it’s the wrestler run-in version of Bischoff re-telling Tonight Show jokes… The Revolution comes to the ring…I just don’t think this shooty-bang stuff works when Shane Douglas is trying to meld it with a classic babyface promo style…I'm not sure that Shane Douglas, the guy who should be the primary talker for this group, is even the best talker in it…Saturn accepts Rick Steiner’s challenge… Blipmos: They keep hyping a world premiere for a WTR music video on Nitro…*vomits*… Lenny Lane and Lodi come to the ring…Wait, I guess Lenny lost his last name here on the chyron…And Billy Kidman still hasn’t been given his on the chyron…Lodi’s signs are all comedic misses…Lane’s getting another shot at Rey Misterio Jr. and the Cruiserweight Championship…I love Rey, but that belt might as well not exist…It hasn’t been centered in Rey’s feuds since the early part of the year…Lenny grabs a mic and starts to talk, but Rey takes the mic away and says, essentially: You and Lodi should go buttfuck each other like the GAYS do, you weird gay dudes…Now, that’s not a babyface thing to say!...1999 was, in many ways, a mess of a year… Lodi gets sent to the back before the match by the ref...They do some gay panic spots to start…I think I’ve checked out…Lenny uses his power advantage to score a couple of two counts…Mostly, this match sucks…Rey scores a sunset flip for two…Quick, guess what Lane does next!...Maybe vary up that spot somehow, heel workers in WCW?...The thing is, there’s a good match lost in the middle of Lane’s shitty Goldust impression with some of these spots…If those spots had been excised from this match, I think I would have enjoyed it…If you’re going to do shtick, it had better be clever or funny…Ernest Miller knows how to do shtick…Lenny Lane decidedly does not... Rey eats a ton of offense from a guy who has been booked as a non-threat for the past couple of months…Lane rubs his ass on Johnny Boone’s junk, so Boone is too busy, uh, wiping his dick off through his pants to keep paying attention?...That allows Lodi to run out, but his interference misfires…Then they do that shitty “hang there on the ropes, obviously on purpose, so the babyface can land a legdrop” spot…Also, Rey does a Bronco Buster in there…He also drop toeholds Lodi into Lane’s crotch *sigh*… Lane actually wins the Cruiserweight belt when Rey rolls Lane up, but Lane powers out and knocks Rey into Lodi on the apron…Lane scores his own rollup for three…This is fucking staggering…You put the belt on a guy who you have telegraphed no one should take seriously after sticking it on Rey for five months and ignoring it for feud purposes…Awful pre-match mic work, bad match full of dumb comedy spots, baffling booking, truly the dirt worst… Horace Hogan and Scott Norton are getting a two-on-two shot at Harlem Heat’s tag titles this show…Now, I was listening to the 83 Weeks about Road Wild ’99 the other day, and Conrad spoiled that Harlem Heat is going to do a back-and-forth set of title switches with the WTR…*vomits*…As bad as this on-again, off-again Stevie/Booker feud will get later on, I do think that there’s something good about the overall character work in the storyline…Stevie was definitely jealous of Booker’s singles success, something that Stevie could never duplicate…But at the same time, he genuinely also missed tagging with his brother…Harlem Heat was both an entity that he relied on for personal success and also one he genuinely valued…He was hurt by Booker seeming not to feel the same way about it…That was kinda complex stuff, emotion-wise…Brothers, man… Booker and Norton start off…Booker lands a roundhouse kick, gets slammed, and slams Norton twice in turn after Norton misses a corner charge…Stevie hits a clothesline, slams Horace, and is in control until Norton can gouge his eye…We get an early break…Back from break, and Booker is the one in trouble in the ring rather than Stevie…Blergh… Back from break, Booker escapes a Horace whip, but after hitting an axe kick and a Spinaroonie, Norton jumps in and levels him…Norton lands elbows and a double thrust to the throat on Booker in the ring…Horace tags in and switches things up by hitting a back elbow on Booker after Booker gets two on a sunset flip…I’ve highlighted it this show, but WCW wrestlers love the hell out of that spot as a hope spot leading into a cut-off…WCW has a definite house style, including double-FIP segments with each babyface tag partner in tag matches, flash pinfall hope spots that get cut off at least once or twice, etc…. Booker gets two on a crossbody to Horace, but can’t capitalize…Norton tags in and gets rolled up for two, but Booker again can’t capitalize…Book is able to duck a double-clothesline from the B-Teamers and hit one of his own…A disoriented Booker is able to find Stevie for the hot tag…The match breaks down…Booker controls Norton outside the ring…Horace gets the best of Stevie, but Booker disposes of Norton by tossing him into the guardrail, then catches Horace with a missile dropkick back in the ring after Stevie drops down on a rope run…That was a pretty good match, but man, that commercial break being placed where it was bums me out… Gene Okerlund interviews the First Family in the ring…Jimmy Hart has been underutilized on television lately, so I’m glad to see him getting a bit of time…Though after he’s done talking, it goes way the fuck downhill…Eurgh…Anyway, the First Family wants to take the tag titles from Harlem Heat…Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus challenge the Heat to a tag title match on the next Thunder…They’re also not fans of the Revolution… Rick Steiner defends the TV title against Perry Saturn in the main event…They keep letting this bum talk…He can barely say, “It looks like it’s gonna be a massacre” before the match…Rick is awful, man…At least Stevie Ray is funny and has entertaining facial expressions…Rick Steiner is the lesser tag team member of his former team, but he can’t even fucking talk or emote, either…I’m higher on Saturn than I guess the DVDVR/PWO set usually is, so it means something when I say that this match isn’t all that great…And it ain’t because of Saturn… Saturn hits a short burst of offense after Steiner’s opening boring work…Steiner does one cool thing…He sits Saturn up top as if readying for a back suplex, but goes back to back with him and lifts him over his shoulder, then hits an Oklahoma Stampede…It would have been way better if it were Dr. Death doing it, as Dr. Death actually knows how to run with a guy hanging over his shoulder, but it was still a neat setup for the move… There’s a break after Steiner tosses Saturn around at ringside…We come back to punches and eye gouges…Saturn tries to come back, but gets kicked in the gut and DDT’d for two…Steiner is a former shoot wrestler, but he somehow works the weakest-looking wrestling holds in the company…Saturn hits a neckbreaker to escape one…He ducks a clothesline and nails a superkick, then hits a nice release overhead suplex for two…Saturn seems to be coasting to victory, so here comes Sid to shove Saturn off the top rope and into a Steiner belly-to-belly… Chris Benoit hits the ring and whips his U.S. title belt at the escaping heels…I can’t believe it, but Benoit is currently the best talker in the Revolution…He cuts a solid little promo, and the long and short of it is that he and Saturn challenge Rick Steiner and Sid to a tag match on the next Thunder…Sid responds by basically doing the “too small” hand signal that a power forward does after easily scoring in the post, but in verbal form, and agrees…The heels rush the ring and have no luck, so they back off again…That’s the show… This show was very bad!...Harlem Heat/B-Teamers was the only good thing about this show…And my goodness, Rey/Lenny Lane was an abomination…OWWWWWWWWW…

As a side note, even though it didn't happen on TV, Sid ate a clean pinfall to Sting at a house show on 2 July 1999 and a clean pinfall to Booker T. (!!) at a house show on 4 August 1999. It works that Sid, as an egotistical deluded heel, ignores all that, or any DQ losses, no contests, etc., but commentary should not be bleeding credibility by co-signing that.

Sorry for the double post, but the women's rugby sevens at the Olympics might have made me a rugby fan. That whole event went hard.

You should have told him that when society collapses, forget gold because potable water will be the only true currency. Then you should have told him to send you his bank account info because you have a lead on a well deep in the Appalachians that would make you both rich after the end of society happens.

It's too bad Roddy Piper's not alive to run in on the match and hit Mac with a box of Invigoron.

Yeahhhhhhhhh, why not?

Show #202 – 16 August 1999 “The one that shows why retiring the 'heavyweight busts up a match between two midcarders' trope would be a good idea” How long is this Kevin Nash “retirement” going to stick? Four weeks? Six? Eight max, right? I also think it’s wild that they built for two years off-and-on to an eventual Nash/Hogan match, and it ended up being a boring twelve-minute ‘80s Hogan Special. Bless you, WCW booking committee. Hey, Mona never did wrestle Madusa at Road Wild, now that I think about it. Sid is 55-0 in this latest run somehow. Don’t ask me; Tony S. said it. Sid’s facing Hulk Hogan for the big gold belt tonight. It’s Lash LeRoux! Perhaps we shall see a fabled HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER? Well, Juventud Guerrera is his opponent, so this is promising. They just have to make it through this match without Sid or Randy Savage busting up the proceedings. Lash LeRoux is the heel, I guess, because the ladies like Juvi, and Lash gets boos except for from the one fan waving the GIVE LASH A PUSH sign. Lash is pretty new to wrestling in general, so he’s a bit awkward on some of these transitions and counters, but he’s got some personality, so that covers for things. Lash hits does his dancing splits and throws a punch, but Juvi comes right back with ten punches in the corner. Lash tries to powerbomb him out of the corner, which gets countered into a pinning combo that gets countered, and so on, and so on, and so on, until eventually FUCK, it’s Sid. Fuck you, WCW. I do get a kick out of the person holding a SID VICIOUS NEEDS A HUG sign up while Sid powerbombs LeRoux, though. Sid does his Millennium Man shtick. He promises to keep spoiling matches until Hogan hands him the title. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh brother. It’s a Lord Steven Regal (w/Dave Taylor) sighting; he’s wrestling Scotty Riggs. Well, we’ll see. If Sid comes back out here, I’m just going to resign myself to this Nitro being bullshit. Regal makes Riggs trade and counter holds early, so yeah, I like it when Regal makes his opponent work his style. The opening exchange is pretty fun. Of course it is; I actually wanted to see more after that exchange, but Sid comes back out here and tosses Regal, then kills off Riggs. Boy, WCW is trying to make me hate seeing Sid on screen. That’s not going to happen, but WCW is going to try anyway. See, he even cuts a good promo into the corner after he destroys Riggs with a powerbomb, and since he’s a deluded heel, he counts running up on another match and beating down the guys in it as wins to help him pass Goldberg’s undefeated record. Even you can’t ruin Sid, 1999 WCW. You shitheads. I like that WCW-brand baseball jersey that Bobby Heenan’s wearing at ringside, ugly logo and all. Ernest Miller has become one of the guys who I enjoy seeing out here at this point. Hopefully, he’s done with this black hole of a feud with Buff Bagwell. Give him a feud partner who can do comedy that is actually funny instead. His opponent is a blonde-haired Mike Enos. The Cat promises to beat Enos in four minutes or fewer, then runs into Enos and gets slammed. The Cat tries a shoulderblock. NOPE. Enos lands a powerslam and then stalks the Cat, who scrambles to the corner for safety. The cat begs, pleads, gets Enos distracted, and throws a terrible chop to the chest that I think is supposed to be a throat thrust. He tries to press his advantage and gets powerbombed, basically. Enos pretty much destroys the poor Cat, so Sonny Onoo gets on the apron. Enos presses Onoo over his head, and the Cat gets to his feet, circles behind Enos, and kicks the guy in the back of his neck. Enos drops Onoo; the Cat covers for three. Miller and Onoo harass David Penzer for the time, which he reports as being under four minutes, so the Cat dances with a goofy joy that has me loving this guy even if he kinda still stinks at the actual wrestling part of pro wrestling. Good for Miller for beating Enos before Sid could get back out there, too. Promo: Berlyn is an elite German athlete, the type that you would send to the Olympics in Berlin to race Jesse Owens as a way to prove the superiority of Deutschland. Sid beats up a couple of luchadores in the back. Low-key, WCW’s misuse of La Parka is one of the bigger sins of the Bischoff et al. era. I put the TV title on him in WCW/nWo revenge the other night, which is the least they could have done in real life for at least a couple of months. Sid powerbombs Parka in the back, but he makes sure to drop him on a huge bag of popcorn. I swear, if they send Sid out here to beat up a) Rey Misterio Jr., who should be a huge star for them and b) the WCW Cruiserweight Champion, which was an important title even a year ago as I remember, I might just have to give up on this Nitro. In case you want to know what year it is, Lodi (at ringside to cheer on Rey’s opponent Lenny Lane) is holding a BLAIR WITCH FEARS LENNY + LODI sign. I think the faux-umentary on the Blair Witch that showed on Comedy Central was the coolest thing about Blair Witch. Rey tosses Lenny into Lodi, but gets front slammed for two. Rey then gets right back to dominating, flipping onto Lodi outside the ring when Lenny ducks down on the apron. Rey and Lodi blatantly set up to catch Lenny on quite a nice dive, actually, but Rey’s back in the ring and hits a Bronco Buster, then celebrates when…Sid fucking gets on the apron and chokeslams him, then beats the shit out of all three men in the ring. Sting runs down for the save while Sid considers powerbombing Rey again. Here comes Hulk Hogan right behind him, and Sid decides that discretion is the better part of valor. Sid grabs a mic and demands the belt from Hogan; Gene Okerlund has trundled down to the ring and holds the mic for Hogan’s response. Hogan promises to train, say his prayers, and “kick [Sid’s] ass.” Whoa, it’s like ‘80s Hogan, but slightly edgy! How exciting! Hogan says that once he finishes Sid off tonight, he wants to give Sting a title shot next Nitro in Las Vegas. Well, thanks for letting me know how tonight’s gonna go. Hogan repats the train, say prayers, kick ass line to Sting, and uh, that gets a muted reaction and some low boos. You’re third in the babyface pecking order at best, Hogan. At best. I do have some hope, though. Savage is a six-time World champ, but by my count, he’s only had five reigns, so he’s got to be getting his hands on it between now and November. This Hogan title reign shouldn’t last long. Plus at some point, we get Hogan having vaguely heard of the Yavapai peoples of the Southwest and screaming about YAPAPI/APPLE PIE strap matches against Flair, and that’s when he’s in the red-and-yellow, so that should be pretty dumb and enjoyable (and hopefully not for the big gold). Raven is still here, escorting the Dead Pool down to the ring. There are a couple of Juggalos in the crowd. One person holds up an INSANE CLOWN POSSE sign with all the “S” letters stylized in that pointed-S style that we all used to draw in class as kids in the ‘90s. You know exactly what I’m talking about if you were in elementary or middle school in the ‘90s. You immediately visualized that letter "S" in your mind, I am certain of it. The Insane Clown Posse wrestles The Public Enemy, which sounds like the type of car crash that I’m here to witness. TPE comes out wearing Colorado Gold Kings jerseys; they were a minor-league hockey team that moved to Colorado Springs from Fairbanks. That’s a deep pull, fellas. Anyway, an ICP chant breaks out after the clowns are initially cleared from the ring. They huddle up with Vampiro and Raven to plan, and in a funny little aside, Vampiro lectures the cameraman: Don’t come over here and try to peek in on our huddles unless a world-class reporter like Bobby Heenan sends you. Have you ever heard a Canadian person calmly lecture someone who has made a social transgression? I have, and Vampiro sounded exactly like that person. I just assume it’s part of the Canadian cultural handbook. This match isn’t very good because the watchability of an ICP match is dependent on two things: their opponent quality and how much jibber jabber gets inserted into the match layout. TPE’s not any good in 1999, and there’s not enough gaga in this match. We just get stuff like Violent J hitting a weak clothesline so that Johnny Grunge can tumble to ringside in slow motion. Just get to the stacked table spot outside the ring. As I started to type that sentence, the crowd started chanting TABLES, so I’m not alone. In fact, TPE is like, OK, fine, I guess we should do the table spot, and they hit Shaggy with an assisted cannonball through the tables. J and Grunge are left, and we are now at the part of the match that I have to tell you more about. So, Grunge pancakes J in the corner, then backs up for another run, but first Johnny Boone has to do a spot that the camera decides to film in a close-up, thereby breaking the illusion. He wanders over, yells YOU’RE NOT THE LEGAL MAN at J, and starts counting him out while side-eyeing someone outside the ring to give him a signal - maybe the time, maybe a sense of when Grunge is about to impact him for the resulting ref bump. Vampiro jumps in, kicks Grunge, and hits him with a loose Nail in the Coffin, and then puts J on top of Grunge. Boone, who was super-concerned about J being the illegal man, counts three, I guess because getting his guts churned made him way less concerned about it. That whole sequence might as well have screamed THIS IS FAKE, DON’T TAKE THIS FINISH OR PRO WRESTLING IN GENERAL SERIOUSLY, and it’s because of the tight shot on Boone that allowed us to pick up what he was saying and see him prepping for the spot. Sharmell is VERY cute tonight, my goodness. There’s a Nitro Girls routine on right now, if you couldn’t guess. Gene Okerlund interviews a non-Hogan, non-Savage subject: Harlem Heat, who are tag champs in late 1999 somehow. I did not expect that at all. Babyface Stevie Ray is such a weird thing to see, slapping hands and saying they brought the tag belts back TO THE PEOPLE and stuff. And then he becomes everyone’s hilarious uncle on commentary for awhile there at the end, which is amazing. I can’t wait. Booker T. thanks DDP for bringing Harlem Heat back together and making them the EIGHT-TIME, EIGHT-TIME, etc., tag champs, and OH MY GOODNESS, it is only today that I have made the connection that Booker’s FIVE-TIME, FIVE-TIME catchphrase is ripped directly from Page! Holy fuck, how did I not realize that until now?! Stevie says that he’s done with the B-Team because those four fruit booties couldn’t get the job done. Stevie is about family and plans to watch his brother’s back forever. Harlem Heat promises to be fighting champs while Stevie mugs the camera; they send out a challenge to anyone for a bout tonight, I think. Harlem Heat has basically been around WCW for long enough, and there has been enough turnover in the roster, that the crowds basically see them as “true” WCW guys. These SummerSlam promos have an annoying overproduced country-ish song on them that fucking SUCKS. Is this how it’s going to be the whole month? The Berlyn promo plays again. I have missed Alex Wright on television. Tony S. calls Berlyn a “brand new athlete,” but they all saw him in the crowd and were like, YO, THAT’S ALEX WRIGHT a few weeks back. Oh, WCW. “Rockhouse” hits; the rest of the B-Team step into the aisle. I assume that they were not pleased about Stevie saying they had butts made of fruit. Crush shaved his face. It looks weird. I guess he was prepping to be the KISS Demon and for the nightly face paintings. These fellas talk for longer than they need to, but the point is that they are incredulous that Stevie just left the nWo and would like a tag title shot. Crush yanks the mic away and says that he and Virgil will take on Harlem Heat, but the other three B-Teamers stomp him out and rip off his shirt, so I guess he’s out! Great! FORM KRONIK ALREADY, WCW. Gene Okerlund spearheads another interview in the ring, this time with Billy Kidman. Oof, they’re going to give Kidman a looksee to discern his promo ability. Spoiler alert: He has none. Gene’s like THE LADIES LOVE YOU, HUH, and they do, man, they really do. Kidman basically says that he and Rey Misterio Jr., Eddy Guerrero, and Konnan have decided that they are friends and are in a group together. They’re Filthy Animals who “party and chase the chicks,” you see. Okerlund and Kidman banter about the Nitro Girls PPV and Kidman asserts that of all the very good-looking and charming Nitro Girls, and no disrespect to a man in DDP who helped him in the pro wrestling business, but Kimberly is the good-lookingest and charmingest of them all. I’m not going to be too gross about this, but I do have a tier list. No one is under A-tier, so it’s not a mean tier list. I’ll refrain, though, as it’s impolite and I get that most people don't want to be the subject of a tier list of any type for understandable reasons. DDP storms down, and you know, I kinda get it. Savage and Scott Steiner going after Kimberly has probably got him on tilt at this point. Well, and that time she left him for Johnny B. Badd and then, uh, the Booty Man. That last one will kill any man's ego and then hide it in a shallow grave in the forest. Page thinks that Kidman was disrespectful and decides to spell RESPECT for Kidman. Unlike Aretha, he only makes it through three letters before slapping Kidman and hitting him with a uranage. Page grabs Okerlund’s mic and calls for a ref, and this is now a match, I guess. Page lands a number of impact moves, but can’t get three, so he goes to chokes. Back to standing, Kidman tries to make a comeback, but Page tosses him out of a springboard bulldog attempt and hits a spinning powerbomb, which shows you how elite Page is. Kidman couldn’t even counter that one. Page covers for two, but pulls Kidman up to continue the punishment. Kidman does stick a boot up on a Page corner charge, but tries to follow up and runs into a spinebuster for one, two, no, Page pulls him up. As a heel yanking a fighting babyface up early, Page is playing with pro wrestling trope fire. He signals for a Diamond Cutter and tries to hit it from TKO position, but Kidman slips out and rolls Page up for three. Page is irate and clocks Kidman, then hits the ref with a Diamond Cutter. Kidman leaps onto Page’s back, but Page shrugs him off and hits a Diamond Cutter, then puts him in Tree of Woe position. As he did with Chris Benoit at Road Wild, he takes the ref’s belt and whips Kidman. Kimberly comes down to try and stop Page as Page chokes Kidman with the belt. Kimberly’s like What the fuck, dude, Kidman’s your buddy, and she gets Page to back off. Page does angrily mumble something about Kidman mentioning Kimberly being like “that Steiner crap,” if I heard him correctly. If we’re getting a Jersey Triad/Filthy Animals feud, I’m into the idea. The matches could be good. I’m hoping Page turns down the goofiness and turns up the paranoid anger, as that’s when he’s at his best. Disco Inferno walks out to the top of the ramp holding a mic and signals for his theme to cut. He bigs himself up and claims that the Filthy Animals want him to hang out with them. Uh, in Ron Burgundy’s voice: I don’t believe you. He claims that he’s number one and the best, and he’s the star to bring WCW into the future. Chris Benoit cuts in on him and says that Disco and his big mouth have stumbled into the middle of a revolution, then challenges him to a match right now. Lots of name-dropping for new stables there. Disco promises Benoit a tushy-kicking, then walks to the ring and fares poorly. Benoit chops the hell out of this dude and lands a back elbow for two. He drills Disco with a back suplex for another two. Back body drop, mudhole stomping, and snot rocket – Tony S. is listing off Benoit’s nicknames at the time and makes me laugh: “The Wolverine, the Crippler, the…Man Full of Snot.” Back to the match: Benoit tries a flash Crippler Crossface, but Disco bails and then gets control by hanging Benoit’s throat over the ropes when Benoit comes over to pursue. Disco lands a series of offensive moves for two counts at double-speed, but when he feels he has control, he does a little dancing and lands a second-rope elbow for another two. Disco hits a side Russian for another two, then goes to a chinlock. Benoit works to his feet quickly and shoots Disco into the ropes, but Disco lands an elbow to the base of the neck on a Benoit duck-down and gets two. He tosses Benoit to the floor and sends him into the ring stairs, then into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Disco whips Benoit, gets caught with a sunset flip for two, but pops back up and hits a lariat for two of his own. Disco backs Benoit into the corner and tries to throw strikes, which is bad when you’re wrestling a chop machine like Benoit. Disco tries to quell Benoit’s fervor with a back suplex, but Benoit flips out and hits a release German. There’s a standing ten count; both men get to their feet and Benoit lands a loud chop that sends Disco into the corner. Disco comes out trying to land a boot to the chest, but Benoit hits rolling verticals instead and then goes up with Disco wayyyyyyy the hell across the ring. He lands a flying headbutt anyway; it gets three. Heck of a television match! It becomes more apparent every show that the single biggest reason that Chris Benoit stood out to the plugged-in wrestling fans at this time is that WCW is mostly a mess, but he keeps trucking along having good matches almost no matter what. Barry Windham (w/brother Kendall, Bobby Duncum Jr.) heads to the ring to take a beating from Goldberg. “Crush ‘Em” needs some sort of musical hook, a signifier that Goldberg is on his way. The drums at the start of the classic Goldberg theme get me hyped. This song doesn’t have that. I appreciate that the lyrics of this song are perfect for Goldberg, but the whole of it just doesn’t work for me. As Goldberg comes to the ring, it occurs to me that there is a ton of money in a Goldberg/Hulk Hogan rematch. I assume it never happens because no one wants to book Goldberg to lay down for Hogan and Hogan doesn’t want to lay down for Goldberg again, but that’s way more interesting to me than Sting/Hogan at this point. The challenge of booking Goldberg is keeping him away from the world title even though he’s nigh indestructible. Goldberg mows Barry down with a spear, Jackhammer, SPLAT in about thirty seconds to a huge pop. Harlem Heat is back out to the ring to face Horace Hogan and Scott Norton (w/Virgil). Wait, no, Virgil is in the ring, so I guess it’s a non-title handicap match, which is what Tony S. informs us. Bobby Heenan follows up by asserting that the B-Teamers need this win and the belts, though. I don’t know, man, I don’t know. Stevie tries to press Virgil, who is dead weight. Norton tags in and the match improves immediately. Stevie hits a couple of lariats and then combines with Booker on a back elbow that gets two, but Booker ends up as FIP soon after that, though only for a couple minutes. He comes back with an axe kick and a Spinaroonie on his own, though he is distracted by Vincent and is caught from behind by Horace. Booker comes back on his own again and hits a flying forearm for two. Stevie tags back in, lands a side slam on Horace, and sticks him with a big boot. Stevie goes to the ropes, but Norton sticks out an arm and clubs him; Stevie stumbles forward into a Horace DDT and is now the actual FIP in this thing. Norton lands a series of headbutts that are actually pretty cool, lands a jumping one and covers for two, and backs Booker away before Booker can break the pinfall. I mean, they really dropped the ball on U.S. Champ/gatekeeper Scott Norton. I’ll say one more time that if you swap his position with Rick Steiner's, the TV is much more watchable. Norton looks like a legit beast here; he even goes for a powerbomb on Stevie, when Crush runs in and clocks him, then punches out the B-Team while Nick Patrick just chills out and watches, fuck calling for a DQ like some kind of chump referee would. Stevie and Booker capitalize with a missile dropkick and a cover, but what the fuck was up with the layout of this match? Harlem Heat look bad and the match only got Crush and Norton over. Here's Rick Steiner. Bummer. Oh no, he’s defending the WCW Television Championship against Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart). Yuck. They really ran almost every secondary title they had into the ground with the shitty booking and dumb angles. Rick Steiner alone is responsible for ruining two separate titles in the span of a year. This match is so dull, such a zero, that I choose not to waste words on most of it. Punching, choking, you know the drill. Let’s just go to the finish: Knobbs and Hart get their wires crossed on a chain attack, and Steiner waits for a blown-up Knobbs to wobble backward for a diving bulldog. 1987 was a long time ago; Steiner looks washed as hell. And Knobbs, my goodness. The fellas at commentary talk about Rodman and Savage having a match that, while not good, was engaging and just ridiculous enough that I think it has a bad rep as some sort of wrestlecrap. Don’t get me wrong, though: It wasn’t worth going out of your way to watch on YouTube or anything like that. They show a chunk of it, the part with the yelling lady included, and unbleeped to boot, so we can see the port-a-potty spot. Bam Bam Bigelow is out here alone. If he didn’t talk about being part of the Jersey Triad into the camera, I would wonder if the Jersey Triad was through. Page was out here doing his own thing, and there’s no Kanyon anywhere around. Bigelow’s in a match with Saturn, who also comes out alone because he’s apparently a dumb, but noble babyface. Bam Bam calls the ref over before the lock up, but that’s only as a diversion. He boots a distracted Saturn and lands a shoulderblock. One headbutt scores, but Bam Bam whiffs on a second; he recovers with a clothesline as Saturn tries to build an advantage. Bam Bam charges Saturn, but Saturn pulls the rope down and Bam Bam spills outside. Here is where I’d like to point out a well-known, but still irritating problem with how WCW produces commentary. Saturn hops onto the apron and hits a lovely Asai moonsault. Tony S. is in the middle of talking about Dusty Rhodes signing Hogan/Sting, and stops so that Heenan can say with zero enthusiasm in his voice, “What a dangerous move” before basically responding, Yeah, but back to more important matters. I feel like – and this is a feel, not a fact – Lawler and Ross made everything going on in front of them, no matter how goofy it was, come off as important. That’s a big part of why people remember so many WWF midcarders from that time fondly. Back in the ring, Bigelow and Saturn continue to have a solid match. Bam Bam kills a sunset flip, but misses his sit-out splash. Saturn goes up, but Bammer catches him and they fight over a potential superplex that ends when Bam Bam just gives up and tosses Saturn from the top. Bam Bam looks ascendant; he even locks on a chinlock that doesn’t look like complete ass cheeks. Good for him! Saturn fights up from that chinlock, but runs himself into a kneelift. Bam Bam chokes Saturn, but is very casual about it, so Saturn gets up and fires off punches. Poor Bam Bam; the spirit is willing, but the body is older and all beaten up. He tries a standing dropkick and barely gets his boots into Saturn’s lower abdomen. You’re not in Japan and this isn’t 1990, buddy. I’m sorry. Time comes for us all. Bigelow runs into a Saturn boot in the corner; Saturn hits punches in the corner, but Bigelow shoves him away and into ref Johnny Boone. Saturn lands a suplex, but Kanyon runs down and eventually shoves Saturn off the top rope and into Greetings from Asbury Park position. Shane Douglas runs down and shoves Kanyon off the top into Saturn; Saturn topples onto Bigelow for three. Kanyon quickly dispatches of Douglas by draping his throat over the top rope and commences to help Bigelow attack Saturn until the rest of the Revolution runs down to back them off. This was longer than it needed to be, but it was ultimately perfectly fine. Sid has what I’m pretty sure is a dubbed theme – oh yeah, that’s definitely dubbed – so I guess someone went through and figured that maybe it was safer to just go ahead and pop this generic track in for legal purposes. The Hulkster is over as a babyface in Colorado Springs, which makes sense, knowing Colorado Springs as I do. Let’s get this farce over and done with and move on to another Hogan/Sting match that I don’t want. Now, looking ahead to that match, I am fairly certain that Sting turns heel in 1999, and we’re almost through the year, so if I'm right, it's coming up. I also notice that Lex Luger was around for a bit, but then left television again. I hazily remember Sting turning heel, and hold on for a second, wasn't it because he didn’t trust Hogan’s face turn? Wasn’t Luger tied up with all that? I vaguely remember Sting and Luger being maybe the only two guys in the company who were like, Hogan is lying, he’s still a snake. That suddenly occurred to me as I started writing the ‘Let’s get this farce over and done with” sentence. It was also more interesting to ponder than Hogan hopping up from a Sid legdrop after Sid’s earl dominance. This guy is unwatchable. I can’t say enough about how much I hate his stupid-ass act. Like Rick Steiner’s match, this match has an obvious cadence, and the finish is really the only important thing about it. Sid gets a chair, there’s a nervehold, you know, that sort of stuff. Sid hits a chokeslam, stalls on the pin, and it’s Hulk Up, finger point, YOUUUUUU, big boot, leg drop, and Rick Steiner comes in before the ref can count to one; Sting comes down for the save as the crowd pelts the ring with bottles and cups; Hogan covers Rick Steiner for three (?!?!?!) so that there’s a finish for the crowd, but Sid can claim to be unbeaten. LOLOLOL, fucking stupid. Hulk hugs the Stinger and says I LOVE YOU, STING. Maybe not next week, though. Tomorrow might be a challenging day to finish a review, which is a shame as I really want to get to the next Nitro and see if my hunch w/r/t Sting is correct. Maybe I can squeeze Thunder in late tonight and facilitate that process. Anyway, this show did not treat its cruiserweights nicely, and booking Rey like that is a massive negative, but otherwise, this was another wrestling-packed show that was mostly watchable, even if there were only really two good matches. It definitely gets quite a few demerits for sending Sid out there to spoil matches for the first half-hour, though. 1.75 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I did in fact look him up at Cagematch and the Internet Wrestling Database, but got an entry for a totally different Spyder. Thanks for looking that one up. I heard about this tape, but have never seen it. Roddy Piper just seems exhausting to be around. Like, even him explaining the point of the ghost tape beforehand was just too much. I lost it when that doofus had on a Scream mask, though.

Road Wild ’99 notes: It’s the final Road Wild PPV! Awesome! There’s only one more August PPV after this one. I haven’t looked ahead, but I surmise that it must be New Blood Rising, as there’s no other slot for that PPV in 2000 that isn’t already taken. If I’m right, then I’m pretty staggered that the New Blood angle is still going on as late as August of 2000. Then again, Hogan only left the company after BatB 2000, so I guess it makes sense that they’d need to wrap it up in the next month or two after that. They do a little hypin’ and recappin’, and that leads into our opener: A six-man tag that pits the Dead Pool (Vampiro and the ICP) against Rey Misterio Jr., Eddy Guerrero, and Billy Kidman. If this show were in front of an arena full of wrestling fans in some Midwestern town, there would be a ton more noise than there is now. I didn’t realize when Raven got tossed into a dumpster that he might as well have gone home and stayed there until he got his release. WCW sucks ass for not deploying this guy better in general, and definitely for not deploying him better after he came back from his surgery earlier in the year. The babyfaces control things early. Kidman reels off an early Sky High, then tags in Eddy for a tope con hilo. Rey follows with a guillotine legdrop just for kicks. Vampiro does barely land on his feet out of a monkey flip, then hits a kick. Eddy gets dumped outside, where the ICP stomps him out. Shaggy dumps Eddy in the ring, where he is isolated in the Dead Pool corner. Violent J tags in and lands a jawbreaker and some chops; Shaggy tags in and has a really nice vertical suplex in his arsenal, actually. Weak forearms, though. Eddy ranas his way out of an attack from Vampiro, but can’t get a hot tag because J jumps in and headbutts him. Vampiro reasserts control, and the beatdown continues. The ICP hit a double-vertical, but Eddy crotches Shaggy up top and hits a superplex. Some vendor behind the ring is selling butterfly fries. I don’t know what those are, but I want them. With a side of ranch. Eddy gets a hot tag to Rey. Rey hits an Asai moonsault on J, but is pulled off the pinfall. He tries to run, but Raven actually does something for once. He trips Rey and drags him outside the ring, then launches him into the steps. Vampiro hops out and lands a Nail in the Coffin on the ring mats, then continues to toss Rey around at ringside. Rey eventually gets dumped back into the ring to catch an okay-ish beatdown. This match has been generally okay, but being outside in the heat once again has these workers moving more slowly and less crisply than they usually do. Rey takes a powerbomb and a shinbreaker and some other stuff. Shaggy lands a pretty nice powerslam. He should never do strikes and only do slams and suplexes, is what I’ve decided. Rey finally gets a hot tag and the match breaks down. Who will win this melee? Well, after everyone else spills from the ring, Kidman lands an SSP on Shaggy for three, so the babyfaces are the ones to prevail. That was cromulent. After a short review of the feud, Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow come to the ring to defend the WCW World Tag Team Championships against Harlem Heat. I can’t imagine that WCW is putting the belts on Harlem Heat. Page isn’t here, and when Kanyon grabs the mic, he immediately sucks a whole lot less at talking. He accuses the crowd of being too poor to afford cable television and then trying to explain his typical pre-match question. So, get this, this crowd of bikers actually has what I think is the first decent crowd response I’ve seen during this watch through. A guy near the hot mic in the crowd yells WE CAN’T HEAR YOU; immediately after, a bunch of engines rev over Kanyon’s talking, and the despondent Triad member walks around the ring angrily. Then the same guy near the hot mic hits a Nelson Muntz-style HA HA. It cracked me up. That’s the first time all the bike revving was actually a useful crowd response. Kanyon doesn’t bother to ask the question after that response. Here comes Harlem Heat. If you ever wanted to see a shot of Harley-riding Boomers raise the roof, I advise you to hop on Peacock and pull up this show. Stevie and Booker immediately jump in the ring and clear it of the Triad. Commentary has a useful conversation about Booker and Stevie not having ring rust, but having tag rust from not tagging together much lately. The Triad regroups, but they still don’t have much for Harlem Heat; after Stevie clears out Kanyon and slams Bigelow, they end up on the floor again, looking perturbed. Kanyon re-enters the ring and demands that Booker tag in. That goes poorly for Kanyon, who eats a mudhole stompin’. Kanyon does manage a back elbow that gives him room to get in some further offense, but he tries to run the ropes with Booker and walks right into a dropkick for two. Stevie and Bam Bam tag in again. They have a beefy boy standoff, but Stevie lands a clothesline after being shot into the ropes. Bam Bam headbutts Stevie in the abdomen as Stevie tries to follow up, and that allows the Triad to take control. Stevie sells some offense, including that Bam Bam chinlock that STINKS, man, is it an awful looking chinlock. He’s only the FIP for a couple of minutes. Bam Bam hits a kneelift that looks way better than his chinlock, then gets two on a headbutt. Kanyon tags back in and nearly loses control of the match, then definitely loses it after Stevie trips him and catapults Kanyon into Bam Bam on a double-team move. Booker gets the hot tag and lands a roundhouse kick on Kanyon for two. He tries an axe kick, but Bigelow yanks down the top rope as Booker bounces against it. Bam Bam tosses Book into the guardrail while Tenay does a great job of talking about how Booker can telegraph that move to a downed opponent in a singles match, but doing it in a tag match allows the illegal man to react when he sees it. That is some really good commentatin’ on Tenay’s part. Kanyon takes back over, gets two on an elevated Rocker Dropper, and tries one more that earns him a counter powerbomb. Both men crawl over and tag their partners. Bam Bam gets there early and barges into Booker, knocking him outside the ring. That leaves Stevie to try and endure a two-on-one attack. Make it three-on-one as Page runs out and tries to help. That goes poorly, though, as Stevie tosses Bam Bam into Page, and Booker follows up by getting on the top rope and drilling Bam Bam with a missile dropkick. Stevie covers for three, and, huh, Harlem Heat are the new tag champs. I didn’t expect that, gonna be honest! I guess considering the timeline of WCW booking leadership, Russo is at fault for the feud over the letter “T,” that utter dolt. The WTR faces three-fourths of the Revolution. They come down to “Rap is Cr*p” at Sturgis, just to drive me up a fucking wall at least one more time. Whoa, can you imagine the alternate universe where WCW ran WTR/NLS at the final Road Wild? They might have started a riot out here. Saturn, Shane Douglas, and Dean Malenko are participating for the Revolution; the WTR put forth Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, and Bobby Duncum Jr. in response. Saturn challenges the WTR on the mic, and the faces turn back that challenge when the three legal WTR members take them up on it. What follows is another okay trios tag. The Revolution dominates early as Barry struggles with Saturn. Douglas tags in and wanders into the wrong corner, though, which allows the WTR to turn the tide. Not for too long, though; Douglas and Saturn regain control until Barry lands a nice counter-lariat to put Saturn in trouble. However, Bobby Duncum eventually tags in, and of course Saturn hits a belly-to-belly and tags to Malenko. The Revolution work Duncum over in their corner. Douglas tags in and tries a Pittsburgh Plunge, so Hennig gets in the ring and busts that up, then manages to get Douglas isolated outside the ring. Of course, that hurts him when Douglas atomic posts him; Jeff Jarrett did this to X-Pac at SummerSlam ’98 and it looked and sounded painful. This spot did not replicate that effect, but I like the idea. Douglas tries to follow up back in the ring with a top rope move, but Duncum distracts him, and that allows Hennig to grab him and press him to the mat. Douglas is the FIP; Barry throws another nice lariat in there. Kendall cheats on the outside a bit. Eventually, Douglas dodges a Duncum corner charge and hot tags to Saturn. The match breaks down soon after; Malenko locks Hennig in a Texas Cloverleaf, but Kendall comes in and clocks Malenko with the cowbell. Douglas snatches the cowbell and clocks Kendall, then clears out Barry; Saturn hops in the ring and gets a very un-agile Duncum up for a DVD that gets three. Good night for the babyfaces so far! That match was the epitome of unexceptional. Buff Bagwell faces off with the Cat (w/Sonny Onoo) next. It’s the first singles match of the night, and maybe the card placement isn’t ideal. This show started off with three straight tag matches that the babyfaces all won. Maybe tossing a singles match in there, especially a heel victory, would have made sense. Then again, maybe all the babyfaces will win to frame a Hogan loss in the main event. Who knows. The Cat and Onoo come down in biker vests, and Onoo is doing a great job of wearing his. Miller is wearing gloves with a stars ‘n bars design, which I think is probably upsetting the fine folks in the crowd here in Sturgis. The Cat tries to talk, but everyone revs their motors. In a pretty good spot, Buff comes down and tries to talk, but the Cat snatches his mic and gets a few words in before the engines rev again. They do it again; this is pretty solid comedy spot work from these two. Buff finally talks while the Cat wanders around the ring: “You’re not a crowd favorite if you know what I mean.” Yeah, I think I know what you mean, Buff. The Cat shows his stars ‘n bars gloves to the crowd, confused about why the crowd is so hostile. OK, this was solid pre-match stuff. The Cat decided to do a sociological experiment, bless him. Of course, then they gotta wrestle. The Cat is legitimately a fun comedy spot worker at this point, but Buff is mostly useless. Miller gets the early advantage; the crowd fires up a PUSSYCAT chant. Boy, they are more into this match than they have been anything else by far. Buff gets his swats in and the Cat bails, signals that Buff somehow pulled his hair, and then makes fun of a portly dude at ringside – MEAN. The Cat enduring-slash-trolling the crowd is delightful, I have to tell you. It’s certainly not for everyone, but I’m getting a kick out of this match. The Cat does some chops and a foot choke, but Buff hops behind Cat on a rope run, lands a couple of dropkicks, and throws punches in the corner. He gets to nine before the Cat blatantly hits a low blow in front of Scott Dickinson and follows up with a superkick. Miller points out a fan at ringside to Dickinson so Onoo can choke Buff; Miller covers for two. Kick, choke, cheat, choke, chinlock. I mean, I cannot argue to you that this is a good match. It stinks, if you just list out the moves. But Miller working this crowd is pretty danged awesome. The Cat rakes Buff’s eye, but gets reversed on a vertical suplex. Onoo tries to get involved, but Buff reverses a whip and sends the Cat into the briefcase that Onoo is holding up on the apron, then rolls him up for three as he stumbles backward. Miller attacks after the match; Onoo does Buff’s dance. This wasn’t good enough to make the Charming Uniquities list, but I’ll have to figure out how to get Miller’s performance in this match on a list regarding how fun and aware of the context of this show that it was. Chris Benoit defends the United States Championship against Diamond Dallas Page in a reversal of their meetings in early 1998. I didn’t think they had very good matches then, but they’re definitely both improved a year later and have considerably better chemistry with one another as of the summer of 1999. This is a no disqualification match, so I assume the Revolution and Triad will get involved. Page does some mic work that starts out okay and then gets worse with the insults about Benoit’s mom. Irritating in the wrong way, bub. Irritating in the wrong way. I shouldn’t feel like I don’t want to see Page on screen, but this Triad run has me going from excited to see him in April 1999 to rolling my eyes in August 1999. Page talks shit to Benoit, so Benoit punts him in the balls and makes with the stomps and punches and chops. Page tries to slip a spinning powerbomb in there, but Benoit punches out of it and then hits a baseball slide. They fight on the raised apron, and when Benoit tries to jump off it and onto Page, Page hits an inverted atomic drop and we have an obligatory ringside brawl. The match re-enters the ring, where Page lands a belly-to-belly for two. He stomps Benoit in the gut and slams him face-first into the mat out of a fireman’s carry; this latter move gets two. Page lands his signature gutbuster and continues his offensive assault, generally. Benoit slips a rollup for two in there, but is countered, has to kick out at two himself, and gets met with a lariat when he gets to his feet. Page focuses most of his attack on Benoit’s abdomen in this run of offense; he shuts down a Benoit comeback with a spinebuster for two. Page tries to leverage his weight to keep Benoit pinned in that position, but Benoit fights up and eventually uses his legs to get a rollup for two, though again Page is up first and lands another lariat for another two count. DDP corners Charles Robinson and complains about his count. Benoit flips out of another Page move; his backslide is blocked, so he disengages and hits a jawbreaker instead. Benoit goes up, but Page is quickly up and knocks Benoit into Tree of Woe position. Page has no respect for authority; he slaps Robinson and takes his belt, then whips Benoit with it. I almost questioned Page being able to do this; I forgot it was no DQ for a second. It hasn’t been worked that way until now. Page tries a belt-leveraged pin and hits some whips and chokes with the belt. He even hangs Benoit over his back with the belt, which I’m sure gave Benoit a few ideas about how to shoot replicate that spot with a weight bench in a few years. Anyway, Benoit explodes back, gets the belt, whips Page, and hits three rolling Germans, bridging each time and getting two counts each time. Benoit goes up top, but Kanyon runs out and shoves him into a Page uranage for two. Page tries to whip Benoit into Kanyon, but is reversed; Benoit rolls him up for two when he staggers backward. So, we get a split screen of the Revolution sitting around in the back watching the Triad run a three-on-one – Bam Bam comes down and lands a shitty splash – but they just let Benoit fight all three guys off instead of going down there and, you know, evening the odds. With friends like those, who needs enemies? Benoit digs himself out of a jam by knocking Bam Bam into Page’s jewels and drills a flying headbutt on Page for three. Yikes, that match wasn’t very engaging or good, and I don’t love the booking concept of “Benoit won it by himself” when it’s no DQ and there’s no reason that the Revolution shouldn’t at least go down and make sure that it’s a one-on-one bout. It’s a little too “the babyfaces are as dumb as they are noble” for me. Some guy gives an ugly bike away to some fan. American Iron Horse is dead, and WCW is also dead, so this custom Iron Horse Road Wild bike with the ugly WCW logo on it might be worth a pretty penny in 2024. Sting and Sid go at it, though Sid’s really been setting up for a long-term feud with Goldberg in his last few promos. Sid throws a few punches to start that clearly don’t make any contact. I like Sting, and I like Sid, but this match is a zero to me. I also don’t think either guy can really eat a clean loss right now, but that’s me. Sting has been booked into the ground, and Sid needs to be built for Goldberg. Sting hits a couple of Stinger Splashes and then tosses Sid over the guardrail before walking him around at ringside and bashing him into stuff. Sting misses another Stinger Splash back in the ring; Sid takes over with a kick and slows the pace of the match to a considerable degree. He lands a powerslam for two and then yanks at Sting’s lips against the ropes. Sid continues a deliberate assault targeted at Sting’s back; he scores two on a rib breaker and yeah, this match is just here. Sting and Sid needed to be on the card, and this is how they got there. Sid dumps Sting to the floor and drapes Sting across the rail, then dumps Stinger back in the ring for a chinlock. Sting fights up, crashes into Sid on a rope run, and does his spot where he topples over and headbutts his opponent in the junk. Uh oh, Sid is up first and goes up top – don’t do that – but Sting catches him and presses him to the mat. Sting tries to run, but Sid trips him and stops all that. Sting and Sid get to their feet; Sting wins a punch, but leaps into double knees on a splash attempt. Sid gets two on the resultant cover. Sid hits Snake Eyes on Sting, but tries to out-strike Sting and loses; still, Sting tries to up the tempo and runs into a big boot. Sid goes up again – don’t do that, I said! – but Sting catches him again and hits a superplex. Sid pops right up from that so that he can wander to the corner and eat two Stinger Splashes. Sting tries a third Stinger Splash, but jumps into a goozle and a chokeslam that gets three. Yikes. That wasn’t a good match, and Sting losing that to build Sid for Goldberg was a mistake considering that Sting is the only guy other than Goldberg who means anything in this main event scene. Goldberg hopefully gives very little offense to that bum Rick Steiner next. Goldberg dominates early. Rick Steiner wanders around for a bit after bailing. Steiner gets back in the ring and shoves Mickey Jay into Goldberg as a distraction, then goes after the knee brace that Goldberg is wearing. Steiner wraps the brace on his arm and hits Goldberg with it. Steiner does some plodding, brace-assisted offense. Man, Rick’s around until the end, being boring as all hell. He gets two on a belly-to-belly, and was this match no DQ, too? Ah hell, doesn’t matter. Goldberg takes entirely too much offense from Rick fucking Steiner. You know, DDP fucked Goldberg up really badly on Nitro a few months ago; having them connect for another match here would have been a billion times better. Anyway, Goldberg comes back and it’s spear, jackhammer, SPLAT. This stunk, and it ain’t Goldberg’s fault. Dennis Rodman faces Randy Savage in a match that has had quite the build, let me tell you! Rodman comes to the ring in a fantastic robe. Anyway, this is, I believe, Rodman’s last match or appearance in this company, which is the end of an era, kinda. He and Kevin Greene really started that whole “guest wrestlers from other entertainment areas” thing, and though Greene is about five hundred million times better at this, Rodman jumping off the sinking ship because it stopped paying out is an auspicious sign. Rodman hops out of the ring and grabs a mic and asks Savage, and I quote, “Where’s my bitch?” He tosses the mic to Savage, who replies, and I quote, “Tonight, you’re my bitch, and everybody out here, I invite you to fight for sloppy seconds.” Then, they get in the ring, kiss passionately, and slow fuck one another while the fellas in the crowd pop boners. No, wait, they just have a tepid brawl. Rodman jumps Savage and hits him with the mic, then tosses him around at ringside. After that obligatory ringside brawl, Rodman gets back in the ring, tosses Savage into the corner, and hits him with a back elbow as he comes out of the corner. Short-arm clothesline, elbow drop, huh, side Russian leg sweep? Savage kicks out at two; Rodman shoves Billy Silverman around for what actually was a slow count. Rodman decks Silverman and drops a crisp elbow on him as well. Can you imagine if Rodman cared about pro wrestling? He might actually have been decent. The Worm wanders back over to Savage, who digs a couple of fingers into his eyes. Savage chokes Rodman, and it dawns on me that Rodman is physically a superior worker to Randy Savage in 1999. That is bleak. I need to sit quietly with this. Savage does some chokes, so I have time to think. Savage draws Rodman’s throat across the top rope, goes outside, hits a photog at ringside, and takes his camera to use as a weapon; the camera shot gets two from Mickey Jay, who has come down to take over. Savage doesn’t like that count, so he punches Jay and dumps him from the ring. OK, this makes me laugh: Scott Dickinson jogs to the ring to ref, and Savage just clocks him as he steps through the ropes. Rodman is able to back body drop Savage to the floor, but Savage trips Rodman when he comes over and drags him to the mats. Savage gouges and chokes and tosses Rodman over the guardrail. The crowd ejects Rodman with some force while Savage wanders back over to send Rodman up the aisle. Ah, Sturgis: Some lady yells MACHO MAN, YOU SUCK, and some other lady, or maybe the same lady, yells RODMAN, STOP ACTING LIKE A PUSSSSSSY, LET’S GO. Is this match the most Road Wild match ever? It might be. They fight behind the set, and Savage goes over to a port-a-potty, yanks some dude out of it, and tosses Rodman into it. Savage locks the door and tips the port-a-potty over. Fecal matter leaks out of it because Savage thinks shit spots are high-larious in this last run of his. Rodman makes it out and tosses Savage into the side of a production truck, then goes back toward the ring, where Savage jumps him on the ramp. This match is entirely too long, and while I appreciate the effort to make this less boring than almost everything else on the show, I’ve had enough. Thankfully, we seem to be coming to the end. George comes down after Rodman accidentally bumps Johnny Boone. Nick Patrick is ref number five, and he’s the guy who counts the three after George taps Rodman in the sack and Savage punches Rodman with a chain that he got from George. That was not any good, but at least it was somewhat interesting. Though, look, maybe only one match on the card should have the wrestlers pushing around and abusing refs for maximum value, you know? The Hulkster comes to the ring to defend his title and his career against Kevin Nash. Buffer is here to introduce the combatants. I think he did okay, but honestly, I kinda zoned out there for a bit. I could quibble with calling him Hollywood Hulk Hogan, but nah, it’s fine. I don’t think Hogan has delineated very well between Hollywood Hogan and Hulk Hogan yet, himself. Hulk can’t win his first two lockups with Nash, so he does this hokey thing where he spits in his hands and fires up, then wins the third lockup. I’m just out on ‘80s babyface Hogan. Everything he does is a huge eye roll. Yelling OH, OH MY GOD while in a headlock and shit. This guy sucks. The only babyface Hogan I recognize is 2002 Hogan and his “elite athlete on the decline” gimmick that was frankly amazing. He could still light you up on any given night, but those nights got fewer and farther between as bigger and badder (and younger) athletes stepped up to him. Kurt Angle making babyface Hogan tap to the ankle lock is the pro wrestling equivalent of Iverson crossing up MJ. The reason that I had time to go into that tangent is because this match stinks. Nash works an endless headlock, eats a back suplex, bails, etc. They have a test of strength, and I bet you can guess how this spot goes without me describing it. I mean, this fucking blows, and it’s not on Nash (this time). Just hurry up and get to the Hulk Up so we can go to the finish. These tired old spots aren’t redeemed by me being genuinely unsure of who is going to win this thing. Hogan has a comeback after dodging a well-telegraphed framed elbow from Nash, stupid wind-up punch and everything. Nash stops all that and continues a slow-paced attack, complete with a side slam. He sends Hogan outside the ring so they can do some spots out there even though at least half the matches have done the same “throw a guy into a thing at ringside” spots. Fewer than four minutes in the show! Great! Let’s move it along! Nash signals for a Jackknife, but does punches in the corner instead. Three minutes! Nash hits a Jackknife. Hogan kicks out, obviously. Hulk Up. Two minutes! YOUUUUU, let’s move it along. Big boot, legdrop, Hogan wins. *sigh*. So I guess Nash’s career is over now, but he’s right back on TV bitching about how he wasn’t allowed to book the shows properly in a handful of Thunder shows, so whatever. Thank goodness that Road Wild is over as a PPV. This shows sucks and has always sucked. It’s a boneheaded idea from a guy with no creative ability who’s about to lose his position. Rest in piss, you won’t be missed, Road Wild.

Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-five – 12 August 1999 "The WCW Gang mostly coasts into Road Wild, but also lets Randy Savage get kinda weird with it" Thunder starts with a video of wrestlers on choppers and an eclectic group of people at Sturgis…I do not like anything about Road Wild’s aesthetic and am glad to be leaving it behind after 1999... Rick Steiner comes to the ring, does some bad promo work, threatens Goldberg, and generally stinks…Spyder, who hasn’t been seen on Nitro, Thunder, or PPV since the lWo died, is getting a TV title shot for reasons that I can’t imagine…Ricky kills the guy in very dull fashion…They wander around in an obligatory ringside bore-fest for a minute or two…Spyder doesn’t back into bulldog position, so Steiner hits a diving lariat instead and locks on that shitty armbar he does for the submission… So many recaps: Hogan goes back to Hulk from Hollywood…Chris Benoit gets a title opportunity and sees it through…Sid is Sid, but he also wants to be the Millennium Man… Disorderly Conduct comes to the ring to face Sid in a handicap match…Sid is already there, but you can’t really call it a jobber entrance…DC discusses who should start first on the floor, so Sid hops out there and attacks both of them…Sid hits a Shinonomake Slam on Tom…He then powerbombs Mean Mike for three…Sid hands out a post-match chokeslam besides…Sid talks to the camera about how much ass he’s going to kick, addressing Goldberg directly…It’s pretty solid work, actually…Sid comes off with the utmost intensity… Recap: The Dead Pool focuses their attacks on the future Filthy Animals… Warmed-over hype video: They play the fucking video from the start again, and we’re only 28 minutes into the show!...Lazy-ass WCW… Hype video: Harlem Heat is back… Recap: Harlem Heat and the Jersey Triad feud on Nitro… Recap: Curt Hennig yammers on and on about Chad Brock…I guess the new “Good Ol’ Boys” song was a response to Brock being on Nitro…It helps that this was excised from the replay on the Network, as I actually didn’t see this…Brock and Hennig face off after Brock’s song…He and Hennig get tangled up…The Revolution comes out to back up Brock and hold off the WTR… That new song of theirs is basically the country version of the Three Count theme song…Same format, same type of lyrics…Just country instead of boy band pop…This is a taped Thunder, so the WTR comes out to “Rap is Cr*p”…I get a tiny kick out of censoring the word “cr*p” when I write that title out, I must admit…Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas tag up against Barry Windham and Bobby Duncum Jr….The babyfaces work Duncum over…Douglas covers for one off a double-back elbow…Douglas rolls under a Duncum big boot, dropkicks Duncum’s knee, and hits a neck snap…Duncum is able to back Douglas into the WTR corner, and that allows Barry to get shots in as we go to break… We come back to Malenko dominating Duncum…He ends up as FIP soon after, though…I would have liked to see a fuller series of transitions…Malenko hits a desperation sunset flip for two, but is isolated in the WTR corner once again…Duncum eventually whiffs on a corner charge, and Malenko hits a hot tag…Douglas rolls the WTR…He hits a double-noggin knocker…This is just awkward shit…Douglas looks terrible…It’s almost like he and Duncum briefly forgot how to wrestle…Douglas hits a terrible Thesz Press and the match breaks down…Duncum swings his bullrope, but Douglas ducks the shot and hits a Pittsburgh Plunge for three…The rest of the WTR hops in the ring and embarks upon a beatdown…Saturn runs down to help out, but eats a cowbell shot and gets beaten up and hogtied…This went from “inoffensive” to “actually sucked kinda bad” after coming back from break… Blipmo: DDP is hyping his match at Road Wild…No, excuse me, he’s hyping Hogan/Nash…Whoops… Promo: Berlyn is finally going to be here…Then, Berlyn is going to not be here after Jim Duggan is done being bad at getting the guy over… Review: The Hogan/Nash three-year-long ordeal video that I am entirely sick of by now… Recap: Randy Savage is TOO HOT FOR TV on Nitro…Using crazy language like that…”Eccentric,” hmmph…I can’t believe they let him say that or put that smut on air…Wow, and now he said the word “cr*p”…Disgusting… Here’s Randy Savage in street clothes to cut another promo…No, wait, he’s wrestling Evan Karagias, maybe…Savage grabs a mic…He declares that this match is a tune-up, teases a reveal of the driver of the Hummer…They let Karagias talk for some reason…Karagias is not a fan of how Savage treated Mona…He thinks that Savage should have more respect for women…He respectfully offers his concerns to Savage…Savage agrees to placate him by letting her into the Miss Madness 2000 competition… Savage asks Karagias who will win between him and Rodman…Karagias is like, You, duh…Not out of fear, mind you; he just thinks Savage is a legend…Savage offers Karagias daps and uses that as a chance to cheap shot him…Mona comes out to root Karagias on while he gets his ass kicked…Maybe it helped because Karagias dodges a corner charge and hits a dropkick after a long period of taking an ass-kicking…Karagias lands a trio of punches…Savage bails and then grabs Mona…Karagias takes a running dive over Mona as she dodges and spears Savage…Larry Z. opines that Karagias has a crush on Mona even though Karagias said that Mona "[is] like a sister to me"...Ew, no...Now that Madusa, on the other hand, Karagias sees her a bit differently...Wait a minute, is this all a set-up so that Karagias can help Madusa beat Mona at Road Wild?... Karagias tosses Savage into the post, but that seems to wake Savage up, and he immediately fires back with a kick and a throat draping across the guardrail…Savage puts Karagias in the ring, slams him, and drops a Savage Elbow that looks like it really yammed the guy…Savage covers for two, pulls Karagias up, takes his belt off, whips him with it, and goes back up…Mona jumps in to try and wave Savage off…Savage drops another elbow anyway…Mona trips while backing up from Savage…Savage goes after Mona, and ref Johnny Boone tries to jump on Savage’s back…Savage piledrives Boone, but it gives Mona a chance to stumble away…Savage tosses the ref to the floor, then drops a third Savage Elbow on Karagias…Who did that poor bastard piss off?...Savage grabs a mic and counts his own pinfall to a pop…That was certainly a segment…I’m not sure if I liked it or not, but I was certainly attentive all the way through… Recap: The Nitro six-man tag main event… Too many recaps, too much Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Shane Douglas, not enough good matches…OWWWWW…

I think I got Shaggy and J mixed up last week. Dammit. I'm sorry to hear that one of the ICP went off the rails; they always seemed like a fairly positive group with a goofy theme.

It's got to be money, wanting to get away, being charmed by life traveling in Japan, or some combo of the three.

The next time Matt does one of those Secret Santo threads, I might jump in for a couple weeks and ask people to give me matches they love that are not typically of a style or from a promotion that I enjoy. Maybe I'll see a scaffold match that changes my mind. I haven't seen any of the Big Japan ones, for example.

Scott Norton should ideally be in Rick Steiner's spot, but I assume that his money for touring Japan was incredibly lucrative or something.

For my money, these tag teams had the highest quality of matches across a long-running tag rivalry that I've ever seen. The MX switched out Condrey for Lane and didn't miss a beat working the Fantastics.

Yeah, "you have a big ass" was supposed to be an insult, I guess? Not as far as I'm concerned. Good pull. I won't ever try to argue that ICP is better than anyone on that list, but I'd certainly prefer to watch them ham it up in the ring and do high spots than watch anyone other than the Hardys on that list, personally.

Show #201 – 9 August 1999 “The one that muddies the waters when it comes to who will win the Road Wild main event” While the weekly recap of what happened on the previous episode plays, let me say that we’re coming to the last PPV of the Bischoff era, I think. A contingency group takes over and follows through on Fall Brawl and Halloween Havoc, IIRC, and Vince Russo takes over fully in time to book the first Mayhem. It’s only right that Bischoff’s first reign should come to an end with a PPV that earns no gate because Bisch loves choppers even though sport bikes are what’s in at the time. It's poetry. Tony S. got his job back. If you’re going to test a change on commentary at this point, why you’d swap Tony S. out before you try someone other than Heenan on color, I don’t know. Tony S. is certainly burned out, but there are bigger problems than him at the desk. Tony S. talks about the kayfabe executive shuffle; as WCW looks for a new president, they’ve given J.J. Dillon (head of executive committee) and Dusty Rhodes (head of championship committee) joint interim leadership. Is Dusty still mad at Ric for not giving him the Vice Presidency or lead color position, or are we just going to forget all that happened a few months ago? [Editor's note: They remembered!] Norman Smiley tags up with Prince Iaukea and Lash LeRoux to open the show. They’ll face, aw, does it matter? Iaukea’s here. I feel like there’s going to be a ring invasion at some point. Okay, fine, they’ll face the Dead Pool (w/Raven) in a trios tag. Look, if Iaukea makes it through this thing without eating a Savage Elbow or a powerbomb, he’ll have scored his own personal victory even if he doesn’t win this match. Per the comments made earlier in this thread, there are a sprinkling of ICP signs in the crowd. LeRoux and Vampiro trade chops before Iaukea just gets in the ring and starts doubling up on Vamp (he whiffs on a side kick in there). Shaggy tags in and hits a crisp vertical suplex on Iaukea; Vampiro launches a diving clothesline off the top right as Shaggy holds up Iaukea right after that. ICP might be the second-best backyarders of all time. It’s the Hardy Boys, a wide gap, then ICP, right? Am I forgetting anyone? I enjoy ICP well enough whenever I come across them in a wrestling ring. Actually, I have a lot of respect for ICP in general, who basically hustled their way into multiple careers. I respect the hustle. Plus, they’re on a small list of promoters who actually treat the talent they book decently, if I recall correctly. Vampiro is back in the ring and continuing to beat down Iaukea, this time with a series of kicks. The Dead Pool isolates Iaukea, landing a trio of legdrops. Shaggy tries a headbutt, but Iaukea is Polynesian, so the long and short of it is that Iaukea tries a cover, but only gets two. Shaggy dumps Iaukea to the floor, but over near his own corner, so the Dead Pool has to walk over to grab him and bring him back to their corner so they can toss him into the steel steps. Back in the ring, Violent J whiffs on a guillotine legdrop, and Norman Smiley gets the hot tag. In what I can only describe as some WCW-ass WCW shit, Smiley clears out the Dead Pool, hits his swinging slam on Violent J, then wiggles. The crowd is hot for this, and honestly, this match has been a ton of fun. Eventually, only LeRoux and Shaggy are left in the ring. Vampiro is able to dispose of Iaukea and back suplex Lash LeRoux as LeRoux stands in the corner throwing punches at Shaggy. Shaggy goes up and lands a moonsault on LeRoux for three. I mean, the Charming Uniquity list was made for matches like this. WCW got a series of TV Guide covers: Kimberly, Sting, Kevin Nash, and Randy Savage. No Goldberg? I remember the WWF covers from around the same time – I have a copy with Mankind on the front somewhere in my massive storage of books – but not these WCW covers. The Revolution harasses new Championship Committee leader Dusty Rhodes in a pre-tape asking for opportunity. Dusty is indeed still mad at Ric, so he’s understanding of Shane Douglas's negative feelings on the Nature Boy. David Flair walks by with Torrie and calls Dusty “old,” so Benoit snaps a Crippler Crossface on that dork. Dusty calls off the dogs, but makes a David Flair/Chris Benoit U.S. Championship match for later tonight. The Public Enemy bring a table to the ring before their contest with Curt Hennig and Barry Windham (w/Kendall and Duncum). They’re using that Jimmy Hart-penned “Southern Boys” theme instead of “Rap is Cr*p,” so uh, that feud with the No Limit Soldiers is over. They’re going to feud with another country singer in Chad Brock instead, I suppose. Sure, why not? Anyway, TPE was a solid tag team in their early-to-mid ‘90s ECW run, in my opinion, but by 1999, both these fellas move like their knees are made of paper clips. This match isn’t bad, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not great. It is helped by this crowd being hot for everything. Hell, they fire off a loud BARRY SUCKS chant for a while. Kendall cheats on the outside to distract Johnny Grunge so that Hennig can hit a weak punch that starts their heel control segment. Said segment is short, and only after a couple of minutes if that, a double-clothesline allows Grunge to crawl to Rocco and get a hot tag. TPE rules the ring with a double-back body drop and a neckbreaker; they put Barry Windham on the table and Rocco hits a senton bomb that crushes Windham right through it. Meanwhile, Kendall, I think, jumps in and clocks Grunge with the cowbell so that Hennig can cover for three. This match existed, but it’s worth watching because Rocco Rock just sent Barry Windham through a table in what I can only describe as some more WCW-ass WCW shit. Mona gets a tune-up for Road Wild against Little Jeannie. This show started out with straight wrestling in front of a hot crowd, and so I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit so far. Why is Mona still wearing that dress even though she’s not Miss Madness anymore? Oh, yeah, the cleavage window. That’s why. Look, I’m not going to subject you to a long screed about my love of Mona for reasons including her in-ring talent, her character work as Molly Holly, and yes, her thickness, my goodness, but suffice it to say that she rules. Mona tries an armbar, but gets reversed after being lifted into a fireman’s carry. Mona works to her feet and gets a couple of deep arm drags to escape it, then goes back to the arm. Mona lands a monkey flip off a corner whip. Jeannie stalls a bit and then slides in the ring when Mona slides out there so that she can jump Mona when Mona has to follow. Jeannie lands some knife-edge chops, then lands a headscissors, Sonya Blade-style in the first Mortal Kombat (not MK1, but the very first MK). The dudes pop for Mona’s dress flipping up. I apologize for all of us; it’s the testosterone. Jeannie tries to follow up, but does a version of the Psicosis bump on a corner charge. Mona lands a couple of strikes, a hair beal, and a low dropkick. She hits a back body drop, rips off some chops, and hits a Muta-style handspring elbow and a face crusher. Mona wraps Jeannie in an Indian Deathlock, then rolls her over for a pinfall attempt that gets three. Brandi Alexander runs in to avenge her loss from Thunder, but Mona clocks her. WCW’s going to half-ass this women’s division thing even more than they do the hardcore division, which is too bad because it's added a bit of variety to the show while also not being made up of matches featuring a billion cookie sheet and trash can lid shots. Hype video: Nash vs. Hulk. I remain un-hyped, sorry. Future vehicular manslaughterer Nasty Nick runs up to tell his dirtbag daddy that it’s time for his interview and reminds him that he brought the red-and-yellow to wear. Hulk gets done with his push-ups, and we follow him through the back, where he, uh, limbers up before talking to Gene Okerlund? Anyway, Sid, Rick Steiner, and Nash jump the guy in the Gorilla position and beat him down, coming through the curtain and onto the ramp as they do. Hulk taking like fifty Ls before Road Wild is pretty much giving the Road Wild main event result away, but whatever. The crowd is hot for it. Goldberg and Sting run out for a save. Hogan grabs a mic and cuts a promo that makes the Road Wild main event result even more apparent than it already was: He says that he’ll put his career on the line at Road Wild along with the big gold. Then, he suggests a six-man tag between the babyfaces in the ring and the heels on the ramp. The heels look disinterested. After a minute, Nash is like FINE, YOU GIRLS WHO ARE GIRLY GIRLS, WE’LL DO IT. Sting demands that Nash put his career on the line at Sturgis, too. Well, that throws a wrench in things, but now that I think about it, Nash winning and then Hogan being like HOLLYWOOD HOGAN HAS RETIRED, BUT HULK HOGAN IS BACK, BAYBEE would make sense considering how Nick sped through the backstage area without a care for anyone but himself, crashed wildly into Hulk’s locker room, ran over – oops, ran UP TO his father, and flashed the red-and-yellow as a tease. Then Goldberg says that Rick Steiner has nothing to put on the line, so he should bring his ass to Sturgis and put that on the line. Rick is the TV Champ, man. Poor, poor TV title. It was a hot ticket sixteen months ago. Nash responds again and agrees to put his career on the line if the babyfaces beat them tonight and yells SAY GOODBYE TO HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. OK, yeah, I gotcha. I think I’m picking up what you’re putting down, WCW. Boise really loves their live pro wrestling shows in 1999 if this crowd is any indication. WCW should have tried to make it out to the PNW and Rocky Mountain states more often like they did with the Midwest. They’re drawing hot crowds in late 1999 for what are mostly some dogshit shows. They spent time in front of mediocre crowds in California from 1996 through 1998; they probably should have shifted that attention north and/or east instead. Chris Benoit comes to the ring for another U.S. title match with David Flair (w/Torrie Wilson and Asya). Charles Robinson comes out here to ref the match, but Nick Patrick shows up and makes it clear that Dusty ain’t having any of that. The bell rings. David realizes that he's fucked without Lil' Naitch and bails. He backs up the aisle, where he meets the Revolution. They frog march him back into the ring, where he does a poor copy of his dad’s begging off spot. Benoit takes his extended palm and kicks him, then shoots him into the ropes, where…David bails again. Actually, all the stalling and bailing is pretty good. The crowd mocks David’s courage by calling him a PUSSY, but vaginas can birth nine-pound humans, so I think they’re quite strong and resilient,unlike David Flair. Anyway, David can’t leave because the Revolution is there, so he gets back in the ring, where Benoit takes his time and dissects Dopey Dave. David’s trying his best to sell, bless him, and the stalling he did was decent, even if he has no idea how to take a crisp back bump. The Triad runs down to try and spoil things, but the Revolution cuts them off as Benoit drills a flying headbutt for the three and the gold – thank goodness. Page does make it into the ring, but is just late on the save. DDP and the Triad try to continue the fight; alas, the Revolution outnumbers them, so they have to back off. Benoit immediately challenges DDP to a no-DQ match for the U.S. title at Road Wild, and then drops a pretty good line about TWO-TIME, etc., kicking Page’s ass. Huh, Benoit might finally be passable as a talker. They’re really going to let Randy Savage come out here and get on a live mic with Gene Okerlund again. Ah, what the hell, maybe it’ll be a Jerry Springer-esque train wreck that I can’t look away from like last week. Savage is a ‘roided up woman-beater, but man, this guy is still like the fourth-most popular babyface in the company to the live crowds. Maybe the third-most popular! Macho grabs a fan sign that says MACHO MAN FOR PRES, GEORGE FOR INTERN, and well, that is certainly a ‘90s-ass sign about Macho pressuring George into giving him a blowjob. Macho promises that George will be back on television after he finishes off Dennis Rodman at Road Wild. Then, he threatens Nash and maybe Sid before brushing off his dick again because Hogan and Rodman keep riding it. Yeah, this is Savage in 1999, you get what you get. Savage is basically cutting an aimless promo here. He didn’t say a damned thing about who George’s bodyguard is or who was driving the Hummer, just in case you were wondering. Dave Taylor met up with fellow countryman Chris Adams and convinced him to pimp the ol’ Union Jack with him as a tag team tonight. Steven Regal is nowhere to be seen. They tag up against Rey Misterio Jr. and Eddy Guerrero. We’re in fucking Idaho, so of course we get an immediate U-S-A chant. Uh, toward the Union Jack-waving heels, not the Mexican-Americans, I should clarify. It is Boise, after all, so I wanted to clear that up. Taylor lands a couple of headscissors and a dropkick on Eddy to start. He follows in with a couple of European uppercuts, but shoots Eddy into the ropes and is met with a headscissors in return. Rey and Chris Adams tag in next. Adams shoves Rey away, then catches him on a rope run and power slams him for two. Adams lands a back suplex and goes up top, but he whiffs on a splash. Rey drills an Asai moonsault, then ducks under (sliding into Adams accidentally as he does it) on another rope run and walks into a superkick. Adams covers, but only gets one. Rey is the FIP; Taylor chokes him with a flag pole outside the ring, and he takes some sick turnbuckle bumps inside the ring. This is another abbreviated FIP segment that ends when Rey boots his way out of a Taylor corner charge and dives for a hot tag. Eddy clears out the heels, then Rey chimes in, springboarding himself into a punch and being lofted into a dropkick by Eddy. Rey lands a Bronco Buster on Adams, then sits him up top. Rey flips Adams to the mat with a top-rope Frankensteiner, and Eddy follows up with a Frog Splash for three. Vampiro and the ICP run down to attack after the match, but Billy Kidman follows and evens the odds; the babyfaces clear the ring. Kidman turns right back around after the break and walks out to wrestle a match against Disco Inferno. They have a nice opening exchange in which Kidman’s agility and speed advantage win out; he gets a headscissors, then is able to land on his feet on a back body drop attempt in the corner and land another headscissors. Kidman tries to keep running, but Disco is able to sidestep his charge and use Kidman’s momentum to send him to the floor. Disco embarks upon a ringside brawl, which has been less obligatory than usual in the matches tonight. Even this one is a little different, as Disco sends Kidman into the steps, looks for a count-out win, and then goes back out and sends Kidman into the rail when he sees Kidman getting to his feet. Kidman is still fighting, so Disco brings him back in and lands a side Russian, then follows up with a dancing elbow from the second rope for two. Disco is a little frustrated, so he chokes Kidman for a bit, then hits a hard Irish whip; Kidman slams into the corner and bumps right onto his face. Kidman fights up from a chinlock and is able to hit a clothesline, but his comeback attempt is cut off by a Disco swinging neckbreaker. Disco sends Kidman back into the guardrail at ringside, then again sees Kidman getting back to his feet and goes out to get him. He brings Kidman back in the ring and locks on another chinlock. Kidman perseveres and manages to escape the chinlock with a jawbreaker; Kdiman tries a sunset flip and Disco tries to fight it, but can’t; he goes over for two. Kidman tries to up the tempo, but Disco manages a desperation Hot Shot that gets two. Kidman still has some fire in him and swings at Disco. Disco swings back and tries a back suplex, but Kidman hops out of it and hits a Sky High. They both get back to their feet, and Kidman peels off a dropkick and a springboard bulldog for two. The crowd wanted three on that one. Kidman shoots Disco to the ropes and ducks down right into a jumping piledriver, but Disco is hurt and takes time to barely cover; he only gets two. Disco goes for his signature move, the powerbomb, but Kidman flips out of it and hits a facebuster, then goes up for an SSP, which is when Vampiro runs down, crotches him, and hits a Super Nail in the Coffin as the ref calls for the bell. Disco doesn’t like all this Juggalos rappin’ shit, so he attacks the ICP, who are out here with Vampiro. He loses that fight; Eddy and Rey have to come down and make the save. I really liked that match, to the point that even with the DQ finish, I’d recommend it. Disco trying to ground Kidman and get a cheap count-out win, with Kidman firing up and struggling to find another comeback, was really nicely done. What a good television match. Anyway, Disco and the future Filthy Animals (?) consider a friendship, but don’t quite get there with one another tonight. This Nitro has been quite enjoyable, and part of it is that they’ve cut down on the replays of what happened and promo packages. They show a replay of the six-man tag challenge from, let’s be specific, Hollywood Hogan earlier tonight. This is a reasonable place to play a short review of that segment. Buff Bagwell comes to the ring and cuts a pre-match promo on the Cat. Apparently, they got in a backstage fight somewhere around this time. Buff seems like he’s a bit much, let’s put it that way. Buff’s opponent is Scott Norton, who I guess just showed back up from Japan and couldn’t get anyone from the former B-Team to answer his calls. I get a kick out of the unseen side story that Norton just goes along with whatever is happening without really getting too keyed up about it. Norton’s gimmick in my head is the dude who leaves for Japan and comes back to a weirder and very changed WCW, but just keeps trucking along without asking any questions. Buff gets some early offense in on Norton and sends him to ringside, but Norton re-enters the ring and hits chops. Norton tries a kick, eats a dragon screw, and then Buff follows with an ugly swinging neckbreaker. Buff throws punches in the corner, but Norton drops him neck-first across the ropes to stop all that. Norton hits a shoulderbreaker, and hey, here’s the Cat and Sonny Onoo. The Cat’s got his red slippers back, and he walks toward the ring and watches these two dudes who he can’t stand brawling at ringside. Norton dumps Buff back in the ring and goes to a neck vise. Buff makes a comeback and gets two on a crossbody, but the Cat yanks the ref out of the ring. Onoo hops on the apron and hits Buff with the briefcase, but Buff kicks out of Norton’s cover. The Cat and Onoo get in the ring, and the ref calls the match; Norton backs the Cat away from the ring in anger that his match got blown up while Buff lands a Blockbuster on Onoo. The Chad Brock song was cut out of this recording, so we’re back with Kanyon (w/the Jersey Triad) against Booker T. (w/Stevie Ray). The Triad does some mic work that is channel changing-level annoying rather than regular heel-level annoying. Scott Dickinson ejects Bam Bam and DDP from ringside, which makes sense since Dusty has an in with the refs. So, is J.J. just abandoning Ric and leaving the guy to his own devices now that he’s running the executive again? This doesn’t really matter at all, but I’m curious anyway. Booker starts out hot against Kanyon, lands a Houston Side Kick, and sends Kanyon to the ring so that Stevie can feed him a meal of soupbones behind the ref’s back. The look on Stevie’s face after he gets away with it cracks me up. Booker lands an axe kick when Kanyon makes it back to the ring, but he’s still perfecting the move and only gets two. Book whiffs on a dropkick, and Kanyon lands a swinging neckbreaker and cradles for two. Then, it’s right on to a chinlock for Kanyon. Booker elbows his way out, but ducks down on a rope run and eats a vertical suplex for two. Kanyon shoots Booker into the ropes and is surprised with a forearm. He goes to an eye rake to try and keep control, but ends up taking a series of kicks, a spinebuster, and two clotheslines. Bam Bam runs back out and engages with Stevie Ray while Booker accidentally clears out the ref. DDP hits Stevie with a tag title, then slides it to Kanyon so Kanyon can hit Booker with it. Kanyon does, then lands a Flatliner as the ref revives; that gets three. Gene Okerlund introduces Dennis Rodman for an interview. Well, Savage didn’t do anything too wild, so let’s see how Rodman does here. Rodman comes down to “Rockhouse,” which I guess makes sense even though the nWo is now basically dead. Rodman tries to get a cheap pop by showing love to Idaho and claims that Savage has locked George up because George wants to jump his bones. Rodman fails to remember Randy Savage’s name, calls him an “asshole,” and then says he will make sure that George knows "she’s [his] bitch” after he beats Savage at Road Wild. The Idahoans who don’t like misogyny and the Idahoans who don’t like miscegenation finally agree on something and combine to throw trash at Rodman. Savage storms out and has to be held back by security. Why didn’t they just pre-tape Rodman? Bischoff is subconsciously trying to get fired, maybe. It’s time for the main event, and it’ll get a good fourteen-ish minutes; that’s pretty decent for WCW. Sid, Kevin Nash, and Rick Steiner come out first; Sting, Goldberg, and Hulk Hogan are out right after them. Hogan comes out in the red-and-yellow to “American Made,’ yuuuuuuck. Well, maybe Hogan’s going to win at Road Wild after all. Who the hell knows. I guess I actually have no idea how that match is going to go. The cameraman shows someone holding a WWF Hogan Wrestling Buddy before figuring out what they’re shooting and cutting away, haha. Anyway, less than a year of this fuckhead on WCW television. Deep breaths. I can make it. He’s probably going to step away for a few weeks at least once or twice due to injury or shooting a straight-to-video movie in that time, too. That'll help. Actually, by the time everyone gets in the ring, there are only eight minutes left, so I take that back. It’s a standard Nitro main event. Hogan is just so boring, man. Somehow, he’s been out of the red-and-yellow for three years, and it still feels too soon for him to go back to it. Hogan obliterates Rick Steiner, which is the only reasonable use of Rick Steiner in 1999. The heels feed for his shitty punches and do double headbutt spots. The cheers are loud for Hulk after he clears the ring, but they go to another register when he tags in Goldberg, who is the biggest star in this company and should be wrestling Nash for the title while Hogan beats up Rick Steiner in the undercard. Goldberg runs the ropes with Nash and levels him with a shoulderblock, then hits a suplex and is knocked off his cover by Rick Steiner clubbing him in the back. Sid tags in, but has little luck against Goldberg and gets powerslammed. Sting tags in next and hits a Stinger Splash to Sid as Sid is hung up in the corner. The heels are just getting slaughtered, but Sting eats all knees on a top-rope splash attempt to Sid and ends up as FIP for a minute or so. It doesn’t last long; the heels expose a buckle and Sting ends up Stinger Splashing Nash across the exposed steel. Rick Steiner brings in a chair and hits Sting, gets speared, and eventually Hogan gets the chair and clears the heels out while Sting locks a Scorpion Deathlock onto a groggy Nash for the submission victory. Huh, Nash submitting? It’s the unjobbable force versus the unsellable object at Road Wild, and they’ve already both shown ass in the build-up, so who knows what’ll happen? Seriously, I have no idea, so at least I have that bit of intrigue going for me when I watch the show. This was a very good Nitro with a hot crowd, a lot of strong wrestling action, and some solid build of a couple of the feuds going into the PPV. See how easy this is? Why don’t you do this all the time, Nitro? 3.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I feel like I've seen this match before and it ends with a spot in a porta potty, but that's all I can recall. Normally, I'd groan appreciatively at this sort of dad joke, but Hennig's act is just so awful and tired to me. By this point, he'd been telling bad dad jokes in WCW interviews and promos for two years. 100% agreed. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole time, and the tension of when it would made it compelling. Yeah, he did the "these boys don't understand DA BIZ" thing when Big E. wasn't receptive. It's Hogan, the guy is a scumbag IRL, but I do think the old "DVDVR Contrarian" canard about Hogan being an in-character heel even as a babyface is actually not contrarianism at all, but rather that many of us have grown past the 1980s to some degree (thankfully). Coming in 2031: SmUgly's ICP in wrestling retrospective! (Haha, but no, probably not coming ever.)

Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-four – 4 August 1999 "The WCW Gang continues to be very popular in the Midwestern United States" It’s Thunder!... Recap: Hogan gets Jackknifed through a table…Goldberg goes out and checks on him even though Hogan’s been antagonizing the guy for months…I guess that’s just what babyfaces do for one another…Even if Hogan is barely a babyface… This is a live Thunder, so they’ll probably have quite a few matches…Next week’ll be taped and the go-home Thunder for Road Wild, though…Larry Z. thinks that Mary Shelley had a future vision of Sid when she was hanging out with Percy, Byron, and Dr. Polidori and creating what would become Frankenstein…Sid’s not the type to throw himself on a funeral pyre, though... Chris Adams comes to the ring…He faces Prince Iaukea…Iaukea is a heel…You can tell because he’s sneering…Did something happen on WCWSN that set Iaukea on this path of darkness?...Iaukea is not a fan of Adams’s Union Jack…Hey, I’m sure the Brits colonized at least a few of his ancestors…Maybe Adams is the heel, just from a historical perspective…Adams controls early, so Iaukea bails and stalls…Iaukea loses a punch-up, so he pokes Adams in the eye and hits a snapmare and legdrop for two… So, I wish, wish, wish that I had written down a thought I had before this match that since Iaukea’s in it, Savage is going to bust in and disrupt it…I would have been wrong, but only slightly...Sid is the guy who walks in…He powerbombs Adams, then chokeslams and powerbombs Iaukea…I think his pyro went off a full thirty seconds after it was supposed to…It scared at least a few people in the crowd…Iaukea’s matches getting ruined by some main eventer who wants to walk in and make a statement has happened enough that I think it might just be a running joke at this point…Sid yells about how he's better than all the babyfaces who the crowd loves, especially Goldberg…Goldberg is so over that WCW managing to fumble his superstardom and going out of business three years later is wild…Anyway, Sid calls himself the “Millennium Man,” and how long had Chris Jericho’s Y2J teaser countdown videos been playing on WWF television by this time?... Scotty Riggs is still trying to get this mirror gimmick over…Hey, the AMERICAN MALES EXPLODE…Buff Bagwell is Scotty’s opponent…Mike Tenay reminds us that almost four years ago, the American Males upset Harlem Heat for the tag titles…That happened all the way back in Nitro Show #3…Buff tells Riggs that the American Males are over (yeah, it’s been four years), but Riggs is through…Riggs applauds at the mention that the Males are done, but stops applauding abruptly when Buff says that he’s done…Heh… Buff borrows Riggs’s mirror to admire himself…Riggs charges and eats a couple of inverted atomic drops…Riggs is able to get a few boots in when he makes Buff follow him around the ring…He hits a dropkick and does the Buff dance…The dropkick didn’t do much, so Buff is up and ready to attack when Riggs is done dancing…Buff mostly dominates…In a neat spot, Riggs crawls over to grab his mirror and thrusts it into Buff’s throat when he finally makes it over to continue his assault… Riggs lands a dropkick and admires his reflection while the crowd chants for Buff…I honestly don’t get why, but he’s very over as a face…Buff’s a terrible babyface…Everything about him screams “unlikeable bro-dude”…Maybe that’s it…He’s like the good-looking star quarterback at a school in some one-horse town that everyone loves for leading them to the state championships even though he’s a terrible human being…Anyway, Riggs locks on a chinlock that Buff ducks…Buff tries to come back, but he and Riggs crash into each other with a double clothesline…When they get to their feet, Buff wins out and lands a series of clotheslines for two…Riggs hits a desperation jawbreaker and sits Buff on the top-rope…Buff counters the superplex attempt and follows up with a Blockbuster for three…Buff finds the corner camera so that he can demonstrate to the viewers at home the step-by-step instructions for dancing like him after the match…That was the best possible match between Buff and Riggs in 1999… Hype video: Harlem Heat is back together in 1999 for some reason…Though not for long… Billy Kidman got way over and is still way over, but he’s not on one of the two major TV shows every week…That is weird to me…Like Rey or Eddy, he should be positioned as an elite cruiserweight who can beat midcard heavyweights and hang with, if not beat, upper-midcarders…He’s another guy whom the TV title would be great for right now…Speaking of Eddy Guerrero, here he is as Kidman’s opponent… Kidman offers his hand to Eddy after a short headscissors exchange…Eddy’s not entirely sure about shaking it yet…The pace at which Eddy is working matches since his return is INSANE…And none of his work is loose…He does impactful offense and bumping at 2X speed…The crowd was chanting for EDDY, but when he refused to be friends with Kidman, they decided that EDDY SUCKS…Kidman does his best to hang with Eddy…He lands a crossbody to the floor as we get a break in the middle of this match, aw man, fuck that… Eddy had reversed a whip into the rail outside the ring before we left, actually, and we’re back in the ring as Eddy spins Kidman around before hitting a neckbreaker from a Gory Special position…Tenay calls it the Gory Special 2000 and the swinging Gory Special, so I’ll use one or both of those to describe that move going forward…Eddy only gets two on that swinging Gory Special and ends up trying a powerbomb and getting hit with a counter-facebuster…Kidman lands a springboard bulldog, but gets crotched when he goes up for an SSP… Eddy lands a superplex…This sparks a standing ten count…Eddy rolls on top of Kidman at seven, but can only get two…They stagger to their feet, and Kidman wins a strike-fest…His Irish whip is reversed, however, and Guerrero gets two on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker…Eddy shoots Kidman in again and tries a pop-up powerbomb that – duh, it’s Kidman – gets reversed into a Frankensteiner that spills both men to the floor… Eddy makes his way into the ring first while ref Johnny Boone checks on Kidman…Vampiro walks down, attacks Eddy, and drills him with a Nail in the Coffin…Vampiro slides out of the ring and tells Kidman to go finish Eddy off…Even that dope Johnny Boone is like, Yo, I didn’t see anything, but I’m pretty sure Vampiro did something to Eddy…But you can only call what you see, so Kidman goes up for an SSP…He stops to consider things and decides to instead dive onto Vampiro at ringside… Kidman brings Vamp into the ring and he and Eddy both throw punches at him…Vampiro slides away and backs up the ramp…Right into a blindside attack from Rey Misterio Jr., as it turns out…Rey brings Vamp back into the ring, where Vampiro eats a Sky High, a springboard moonsault, and a Frog Splash in short order…The crowd is hot for all this…Rey tries to come to an accord between himself, Kidman, and Eddy as the segment ends…That match had a dumb ad break placed in it and ended in a no contest, but I dug the match itself and the post-match jibber jabber…And the crowd was out of their seats when the babyfaces threw down on Vampiro…If that’s not good television, what is?... Brad Armstrong and Swoll (w/4x4) tag up against Lenny Lane and Lodi…I note that the stereotypically gay dudes have generic Eurodance-style music as their theme…Amazing, just amazing…The camera focuses on a sign that references a certain WWF tag team: LENNY AND LODI: JUST TOO MUCH…You know what this match is like…It stinks…And it goes on too long even though it’s only three or four minutes long… The West Hollywood Blondes are a mess…They’re supposed to be a comedy tag team, but they have no good comedy spots…And Lodi is the only one who is ever funny in any way…Just as I type that, they celebrate their first run of successful offense in weeks on Brad Armstrong by doing a high-ten and then bumping hips…OK, that was funny…The crowd even took time out from their persistent LODI SUCKS chant to chuckle…My point generally remains, though… Swoll gets a hot tag…Well, it’s more like a lukewarm tag…Because he’s green as hell and not over…The NLS members dump Lodi at ringside…They combine on a clothesline/throat thrust combo…That ugly-ass finish Swoll is using is in no way a heart punch…Alright, let’s go ahead and get the NLS off my screen forever… Recap: The WCW World Heavyweight Championship has been on quite the journey in 1999…I sure hope they do one of these for the first six months of 2000…I already know how often the title changes hands once Russo gets into power within the company, and I’m still not prepared to actually follow along as I watch that stuff…I think the shame about the title changes in 1999 is not necessarily that there are too many, but that they cut off potentially creatively revitalizing heel runs to have Nash and Hogan hold the gold for no reason… Bam Bam Bigelow is in singles action (and has his own theme music!!!)…His opponent: Booker T….Bam Bam slams his way out of an arm wringer and celebrates…Booker tries again and eats a shoulderblock…Bam Bam decides to run the ropes and gets dropkicked to the floor…Is Bam Bam actually hurt?...He took a long time to get up from his bump through the ropes…Even Nick Patrick comes over to legit check on him as we go to break… Bam Bam generally executes a TERRIBLE reverse chinlock, and he’s got Booker in one as we return…Scott Hall is a miracle worker for finding a way to have a fantastic singles match with Bam Bam in 1999…Sure, he also needed a ladder and for Bam Bam to be a willing bumper to do it, but still…Booker lands a flying forearm to start a comeback…Axe kick, Spinaroonie, spinebuster…Booker goes up for a missile dropkick and is crotched by an onrushing DDP…Page and Bigelow combine on a tower Diamond Cutter…David Flair comes out with a can of yellow spray paint and, in a much less interesting version of what the nWo used to do, sprays a Jersey Triad symbol on Booker’s back… Stevie runs down and clears the ring, but when Dopey Dave tries to sneak in and hit him with the belt, Stevie clocks him…DDP comes from behind and hits Stevie with a Diamond Cutter…Can you believe the fan with the DAVID FLAIR KICKS ASS sign in the second row?...That fan should be banned from the building…On another note, I obviously want David Flair off TV, but I am also not digging the Jersey Triad…Endless run-ins, endless fuck finishes in every one of their matches…And combined mic skills that make David Flair and Torrie Wilson seem merely shitty at talking rather than all-time awful…OK, maybe that last bit was harsh… They got Gene Okerlund to come to Thunder, so he’s talking to one of Hulk, Savage, or Piper…Looks like it’s Randy Savage…There’s no George again tonight…Savage is very, very, VERY over as a babyface with this crowd…Sign: I LOGGED OUT OF EVERQUEST FOR THIS…In a sea of very ‘90s things that I’ve seen during this watch-through, that is possibly the most very ‘90s thing I’ve seen so far!...The crowd spins up a WE WANT GEORGE chant…George isn’t the worst knockoff Sable that WCW could have spun up…She’s been legitimately over since her debut…Savage intimates that Hogan needs to stay off his dick, more or less… Savage continues to do the broad basics of his ‘80s act with the voice and the hand signals, but with these moments sprinkled in where he’s excessively crude or he snaps into (heh) insanity or violence...This is such a weird development of his character…Taking a step back, this Savage run is by far the most interesting run for a guy in his forties who is trying to be contemporary…He’s doing such a weird mish-mash of approaches in a desperate attempt to stay relevant, and he has the charisma to somehow make it all work for a large bulk of the WCW audience, going by crowd response… Savage notes that Sid is hanging out with Nash lately and floats that it might be a plot on his part to get Sid next to Nash so that he and Sid can strike…He blathers on about his campaign, about running a contest to find Miss Madness 2000, and that he’s hired a bodyguard for George, and that bodyguard is also the white Hummer driver…He says he’ll tell everyone more about those things on Nitro… DDP (w/Bam Bam Bigelow) comes to the ring…They shout out Kanyon before their match and ask his typical pre-match question in absentia…Bad mic work…Blah blah…Page is facing Benoit again tonight…Benoit runs down and stops a bad run of jokes about his mom…He lands strikes and hits a lariat that sends Page sprawling next to Bigelow on the floor…Benoit follows with a crossbody that hits both the heels, then puts Page back in the ring and goes back to striking… Benoit spots Bigelow managing to get upright and decides to go punch him for a while…Page takes the opportunity to jump Benoit from behind…Obligatory ringside brawl…Page takes it back in the ring and lands his spinning sit-out powerbomb for two…Page kills a Benoit fight-back and hits a uranage for two more…Page sits in an abdominal stretch for a minute…He gets caught cheating and the ref kicks his arm away from the ropes…Benoit is able to hit an arm drag and some chops, then avoids being punished off Page counter attempts to land rolling Germans…He gets two counts off the first two…Page grabs the ropes on the third, but the ref kicks his hands away…Benoit lands a third… David Flair runs down and is easily cleared out by Benoit…Dave had the U.S. title in hand and was swinging it at Benoit…It flies into the ring…Benoit slams Page on top of it and goes up top…He tries a diving headbutt, but Page reaches under his back, grabs the U.S. title, and puts it up…Benoit headbutts it, and Page rolls on top of him for three…This was a decent TV match… And we end the show with The Public Enemy…Rocco Rock is facing Goldberg in singles action…We haven’t talked about TPE’s dubbed theme…It’s fine, but would the “Here Comes the Hotstepper” knock-off be way better?...Absolutely…Goldberg walks out to his old theme…Goldberg walking out to his old theme and murking someone from TPE?...It’s basically early 1998 all over again…Goldberg kills Rocco and Grunge while I wonder how long this final WCW stint for TPE even lasts…I can’t remember if they did much ECW work in between WWF and WCW stints or after this last WCW run…Rocco gets a chair shot in there, and he combines with Grunge on a shitty assisted powerbomb, but they both get speared through a table in the corner…I haven’t written this enough lately: Spear, Jackhammer, SPLAT… Hey, another reasonably decent wrestling show that didn’t overstay its welcome…Good job, Thunder!...WOOOO…

Show #200 – 2 August 1999 “The one where Dennis Rodman and Randy Savage attempt to get Eric Bischoff fired” Show number two hundred! I think. I'm slowly adding these to a Google Doc and editing them one final time, so we'll see if I got the count right. If not, there'll be edits. Oh, there'll be edits. Sadly, we won’t be making it to three hundred no matter how I count 'em. ☹ After a recap of our last episode before the title card, which is a thing going forward, I guess (at least for now), it’s time for the show. By “it’s time for the show,’ I mean that there’s another video that broadly recaps Hogan/Nash/Goldberg from eight (!) months ago and what’s happened with the WCW World Heavyweight Championship since then. Recap: Booker T. and Stevie Ray re-form Harlem Heat on Thunder. A cursory re-watch of WCW continues to bury the HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER myth. It was a myth when Bischoff actually gave a damn about the cruiserweight division, and it is certainly a myth now. The Jersey Triad enters the arena. They do some awful mic work per the usual. I get it, the point is that they’re annoying dorks, but it doesn’t make this any more watchable. The Triad is okay in the ring as a group, but this step down for DDP is almost criminal considering how great he was earlier in the spring. Heel DDP as champ was fresh. Babyface Hogan as champ hasn’t been remotely fresh since 1987, and that only changed for a brief moment in 2002 with his one-month novelty reign as WWE Undisputed Champion. They should have run with DDP at the top as President Flair’s handpicked champ or something. Why are they running a Jersey Triad/Harlem Heat non-title match two weeks before the PPV? This is nonsense. They could just run a Harlem Heat squash of some tag team with a Triad run-in and save the actual match for Sturgis. Booker and Kanyon have a nice opening exchange that ends with Booker landing a dropkick and tagging in Stevie for a double back elbow. Wow, WCW fans were really into Harlem Heat as babyfaces. This is actually the first time they’ve been babyfaces in their WCW run as a team, I think; that’s actually sort of novel. Bam Bam and Stevie square off next, and Stevie out-clubbers Bammer; Bam Bam gets control with an eye rake, a snapmare, and a falling headbutt. Bammer tries a vertical suplex, but gets blocked and reversed. Still, Bam Bam is up first and Stevie ends up as FIP. He doesn’t suffer for too long; he hits a big boot on a charging Kanyon, clotheslines him, and gets a hot tag. A couple of guys try to start a DDP chant and the rest of the crowd responds with a vociferous SUCKS. Man, these Midwestern crowds are always hot even this late into 1999. Bam Bam helps Kanyon get a hold of Booker; Kanyon is able to land a few elbows, a body slam, and a slingshot elbowdrop for two. Bam Bam tags in and lands a diving headbutt, but Stevie breaks up the pinfall attempt. Bam Bam tries a standing dropkick, but is way too out-of-shape to get much off the ground. Yuck. Booker and Bigelow hit a double-clothesline spot, though, and we get another hot tag to Stevie. Stevie cleans house, and Booker comes in to fight off Bam Bam after Bigelow breaks up a pinfall attempt. Bammer tries to set Booker up for a Greetings, but Stevie pulls him off and clocks Bigelow; Stevie and Bam Bam go to the floor. Booker hits Kanyon with a Houston Side Kick and goes up for a missile dropkick. DDP runs down to try and clobber Booker with his title belt. I should mention here that DDP talked shit to Chris Benoit and insulted his mama in that opening awful mic work, and the camera completely misses Benoit getting his revenge by yanking Page away; it looks like Page just stumbled randomly at first. Booker hits the dropkick on Kanyon and gets three while Benoit stalks Page at ringside. Solid tag match! It probably gives away the result at Sturgis though, doesn’t it? Benoit grabs a mic and I think challenges Page to a fight. He nearly directly quotes Ron Burgundy: Let’s leave the mothers out of this, alright? It’s unnecessary. So I guess Lenny Lane and Lodi are brothers now. Like really, they are in storyline. It wasn’t that J.J. Dillon misunderstood their relationship. It’s that they are brothers who, um, give each other intimate massages? Is WCW running an incest angle? That really seems much more like a Vincent Kennedy type of angle. Anyway, they prattle on about bunny slippers and footy pajamas. It’s stupid. Here’s the full Nitro title sequence for some reason. Was there some sort of strategy in showing a simple title card early and then the full title sequence at some point later in the first hour? The Nitro Girls dance while a dude waves a THANK GOD FOR THE NITRO GIRLS sign around in the background. After that routine is over, here comes President Sting! He’s not a fan of how last week’s main event ended and would like to see Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner in the ring. He just needs a tag partner, and the crowd chants for GOLDBERG as soon as he suggests that he might be looking for one. Sting acknowledges it and takes the crowd’s advice. He’s going to give Goldberg until the start of Monday Night RAW to get out here and answer his request. Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo are out next. Now, Buff stole Miller’s kicks last Nitro. Then, on a taped Thunder that was presented as sequentially happening after that last Nitro, the Cat used his supposedly-stolen slippers to win a match against Barry Darsow. Miller gets on the mic and basically is like, Hey, blackface is out of date, and what you did was uncalled for, and also I don’t need my red shoes to beat anyone, including you. He’s probably shoot not pleased with the blackface, so he comes off genuinely here. Oh, I see, Lenny and Lodi mentioning the Cat’s slippers are an excuse for the Cat to call them out for a match. Lodi has a sign requesting a Wham! reunion, but George Michael sung a whole song about how he was glad to be embarking upon a solo career, so that’s probably not happening. The Cat calls the WHB girls because the complexity of intersectionality means that you can be racially abused and yet still abuse someone else based on their gender or orientation, and what is pro wrestling but a sociological mirror of our times? The Cat destroys these fellas and hits side kicks sans ruby slipper to win the match. So, uh, I guess the Cat still doesn’t have his shoes. Except, you know, when they were magically transported back into his possession for the Thunder match that definitely happened after last week’s Nitro, it wasn’t taped before the last Nitro at all, no sirree. Gene Okerlund. Hulk Hogan. Interview. Yuck. Hogan’s WCW work has me thinking that he’s legitimately one of the WOAT interviews of all-time. Any good work that he did in WWF was completely overwhelmed by this WCW run. Case in point: Hogan says LET’S SHOOT WITH THIS, calls Nash “Mrs. Kevina,” and mentions the Four Horsemen parody. Three strikes and you are OUT SHIT, Hogan. He proposes a title match for later tonight because who doesn’t love hotshot booking in 1999? Sting’s back out at the top of the hour to get Goldberg’s response to his tag partner request. Goldberg is about to march out there (after not quite getting his cue and looking at a specifically-placed clock), but is diverted by Rick Steiner and Sid, who attack him with a shovel. They lock him into the boiler room in the back. Sting charges to the back and gets double-teamed as well. Why in hell is Rick Steiner being given a spot with actual main eventers? The heels march Sting out to the ring to continue the assault, but Sting fights back and hits a couple of Stinger Splashes. He tries a third splash on Sid, who goozles him as he leaps in. Sid hits a chokeslam and the heels talk shit to Sting. Goldberg bursts through the locked boiler room door, runs into the ring, and chases the heels off. Goldberg pats Sting on the head, which is probably a sign that he’s willing to tag with Sting. The two biggest babyfaces in the company stand tall. The pressure that WWF has WCW under in 1999 is amazing. WCW had WWF under pressure in 1996 and 1997 and WWF responded with a series of memorable creative successes (and some crap, to be sure). WWF had WCW under pressure and…welp… Evan Karagias is up against Disco Inferno in our next bout. Karagias gets the best of Disco early, working out of an arm lock to hit a series of arm drags and dropkicks. Karagias rolls through an arm wringer and locks on one of his own, but is sent to the ropes and hit with a big atomic drop. Disco continues the assault with clotheslines and stomps. He goes up for a dancing second-rope elbow and lands it for two. He tries it again and whiffs. Karagias makes a comeback with forearms and punches; then, he nails a floatover powerslam for two. Karagias continues to press Disco, but gets cut off with a boot and drilled with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Disco shoots Karagias into the ropes, but gets reversed and eats a back elbow. Karagias quickly hits a snap suplex for another two. However, Karagias goes back to the well one too many times and Disco is able to easily sidestep another dropkick attempt, and he has no problem lining Karagias up and drilling a Chartbuster for three. A solid competitive television match, that was. Blipment: In the back, David Flair and Torrie Wilson are confused about how titles work. They are also confused about how interesting conversation works. Or even merely functional conversation, for that matter. Anyway, that dope just learned that he only has to defend the U.S. title every thirty days, but he says that Charles Robinson will ref all his matches. Um, what? Ric’s not in control of who refs matches anymore. Sting should probably check into that. Hype video: David Flair drives down the value of the U.S. title with each passing day. Blipmo: Sid alternately mumbles and yells about Sting and Goldberg. Jimmy Hart (w/stupid trophy) leads Hugh Morrus and Jerry Flynn to the ring to face Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas. Douglas comes off like some rando who has just decided to show up and rally the not-yet-Radicalz. WCW Creative needed to make sure that he explained who he was and that he was in WCW before, and a lot like Hall and Nash, he needed to leave for different pastures, etc., etc. Douglas needed to make clear in his first promos that Ric Flair was a terrible leader not just earlier this year, but also in 1991, when Flair did to him what he’s doing to the not-yet-Radicalz. Maybe put together a couple of video packages to showcase that history. As is, it’s like, who is this guy and why does he have beef with the older WCW wrestlers? I mean, I know why, and I knew why then, but most viewers are going to be clueless. Malenko and Flynn open the match; they have a solid sequence that ends up with Flynn whiffing a kick and almost ending up in a Texas Cloverleaf. Morrus enters the ring, but so does Douglas, and the babyfaces clear the heels out. Douglas and Morrus tag in and have a sequence that is not nearly as good, but Morrus stinks and I blame him. I’m not sure what’s going on during one spot where Douglas goes behind Morrus on a back body attempt and Morrus just doesn’t turn around and feed himself for a boot to the gut. Malenko and Flynn end up back in the ring as the legal competitors; Flynn gets some momentum with a boot, a lariat, and a chop. Malenko ends up isolated in his opponents’ corner and takes a beating. Morrus hits two elbowdrops and a legdrop for two; Flynn tags in and hits a jumping back kick for another two. Malenko sneaks a flash sunset flip in there and hits a tag that the ref doesn’t see, but is otherwise deep in trouble until Flynn whiffs on a kick. Malenko gets the hot tag to Douglas, who gets two on a powerslam before the match breaks down. Malenko ends up dropkicking Morrus into Hart while Hart holds the trophy up as a weapon. Flynn whiffs on a top-rope clothesline shortly after that and clears out a dazed Morrus; Douglas drills Flynn with a Pittsburgh Plunge for the three count. Malenko takes the Hardcore trophy for his own and I think promises to get it back to Finlay ASAP into the camera. That match was a match that certainly existed! Music video: Goldberg and Megadeth. Goldberg is once again being booked into the ground; he’s in a nothing Road Wild match against Rick Steiner. Maybe they’ll finally put the TV title on Goldberg after he was utterly screwed out of it in his match against Disco Inferno back in Show #112. Hahaha, no, but seriously, what’s up with this bullshit booking? Can we run Goldberg/Savage at least once before Savage is done? The Nitro Girls dance. Scott Hudson has been critiquing Rick Steiner for his recent actions all night. That’s going to come back to haunt him, maybe. Yep, here comes ol’ Ricky right now to give Tony S. an opportunity to rejoin commentary. Rick backs Hudson into the ring and hits him with a belly-to-belly and a few punches before security comes out to back him off. There’s no Tony S. after the break. Alas, we are stuck with Eric Bischoff as our PBP person. Well, it’s better than Eric Bischoff as our color commentator or Jason Hervey in any role. We get some footage of Hudson being put in an ambulance. Bobby Duncum Jr. comes to the ring by himself to face Perry Saturn. Curt Hennig comes down with a mic before the match and blathers on about Chad Brock, former jobber underneath wrestler and then-current country music star. Hennig truly sucks on the mic as he tries to hype Brock’s music, but as a heel who is like WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE WARNER SIGNED THIS GUY TO A DEAL, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT CHECK OUT HIS MUSIC AT THE NEAREST TOWER RECORDS, WHERE HIS LATEST ALBUM IS ON SALE NOW! Then, he says that Saturn should instead be called Uranus. Is this Hennig WCW run almost over already? Please? Saturn quickly dispatches of Duncum with a DVD and challenges Hennig to a fight, which he wins as soon as Hennig hits the ring. I guess this is our match now. Hennig takes over and takes way too much of this match for my tastes. I think the guy is essentially useless at this point. These 1999 Nitros typically start dragging at some point, at about the time Bischoff showed up and this segment happened, that’s where I started checking to see how much time in the episode is left. This match goes on for way too long and ends in a schmozz. Some dude insists on holding up his MASTER P – GO BACK TO THE PROJECTS even though P hasn’t been on television in literal weeks. Ah, small-town Midwestern culture! I love it! Weirdly, the crowd chants REDNECKS SUCK even though this is exactly the type of crowd made up of a whole bunch of folks who would likely use that word proudly as a self-descriptor. Malenko and Douglas run down for the save. DDP is once again feuding with Chris Benoit. This was pretty good in 1998, but I’m not feeling much excitement about it here in the back half of 1999. Page hocks a loogie right in Benoit’s eye, ew. Benoit spits back and then they work a pacey opening. Page wins a back suplex, but is casual about picking Benoit up to suplex him and barely gets the ropes on a Benoit snap crossface. Page eats a bit of offense, but is able to land a swinging neckbreaker and re-assert himself. Page tires another back suplex; Benoit flips out of it and Page reaches back to hook him for a Diamond Cutter, but Benoit shoves him away and follows him into the corner for chops. They’re working multiple counters at a nice pace here, so this is an aesthetically pleasing bout. Page kills another run of Benoit offense with a back elbow. He lands a spinning sit-out powerbomb on Benoit for two. Page slows the pace down and preens in between successful offensive moves. Bischoff talks about how he can’t believe that DDP is helping former mortal enemy Ric Flair, but they didn’t tease any of that out much, either. If you’re going to do shooty-shoot nonsense, at least explain the backstory for the audience. Benoit tries to make a comeback, but runs himself into a spinebuster for two. Page barks at Charles Robinson about the pacing of his count. Page gets two on an elbow drop while Bischoff gabs on about Sting giving up control of WCW and handing it back to the dolts at Turner, just to clear up that pointless black hole of a storyline. I guess Bisch’ll be the storyline WCW President again for, uh, like four weeks? Benoit makes a comeback with rolling Germans; he gets two two-counts before Page blocks the third German and hits a back kick to the ball sack. Page lands a uranage for another two count, but is counter-DDT’d on an arm drag attempt. Benoit struggles to his feet and slashes his throat, then goes up for a flying headbutt that he drills. David Flair tries to run in and eats a forearm smash; Page tries to roll up Benoit from behind, but Benoit uses the momentum to keep rolling and end up on top for a three count. The rest of the Triad runs down as Page hits Benoit with two Diamond Cutters, then a third elevated Diamond Cutter. Page procures a belt from somewhere and whips Benoit while Dopey Dave tries to emote. Whither art thou, Harlem Heat? Can you not give one back to Benoit? Good match, though. Blipmo: Sid alternately mumbles and yells about Sting and Goldberg. Wait, didn’t I write that earlier? Sid whispers, “In the year 2000, I will be the Millennium Man, yeahhhhhhhhh” and this whole “Millennium Man” thing rings a bell. A very stupid bell. Gene Okerlund interviews Randy Savage (w/o Gorgeous George). Savage has stupid VOTE MACHO tights on. What a doofus, and it makes me sad to say this. Someone in the crowd has a TEAM MADNESS RULZ sign. Team Madness is dead, and it makes me said to say this. Savage has left George "under lock and key" since she keeps getting kidnapped by the ostensible babyfaces. He promises to beat down Hulk, Nash, and Rodman. He’d like Rodman to come out here right now, as a matter of fact, so that he can get right to it. He doesn’t get Rodman, though. He gets the very lovely Mona. She’s not the greatest at asking for her job back, but she’ll get better with the talky-talk. Savage grabs her chin and asks if she can be loyal and also if she can beg properly to get her job back. Savage forces her to her knees and then re-asserts her joblessness before calling for Rodman again. This time, Rodman comes out (with Swoll and 4x4 for some reason). Rodman says something that is bleeped and then says that he slept with kidnapped and sexually assaulted George; *sigh*, here we go. Rodman asserts an uncomfortable racial stereotype about black male virility that kind of gets a pop, but maybe it’s just me, it seems like a somewhat uncomfortable pop, and Savage is like JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A BITCH DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN STEAL MINE, and Bischoff might genuinely be worried about the tenor of this segment. That’s about when Mona sneaks up behind Savage and forearms him in the junk. Rodman takes that opportunity to slide in the ring and hit Savage with a lariat. He poses, then drops an elbow. He poses again…then drops an elbow. He wants a mic, but they won’t give one to him. He looks irritated about it. The crowd chants RODMAN. Nitro was sort of benign, if dull, and of course they couldn’t make it the whole night before doing a segment that was, um, very of its time, let’s say. Heh, Bischoff is definitely shook about what just transpired. He already senses that he might get fired at any time, and that segment didn’t help. He’s still enough of a salesman to opine on what they may do on the free-for-all that is PPV, though! The Dead Pool, as I have been informed they are called, comes to the ring. It’s now August of 1999, so I assume that any Raven appearance in WCW may be his last. I feel like opinions on Raven are quite polarized, and I’m standing at the pole where Raven in WCW should have been pushed as a spot main eventer and a conniving, devious upper-mid card Svengali who continually manipulated other wrestlers into his orbit for protection. I think his WCW run was stellar. Go back and watch these WCW shows deep into 1997 and through mid-1998 before the Flock imploded. The guy was way over. He was a good match machine on top of it. I have faith that Raven would have continued to tinker with his character and reinvent himself enough to stay over as the ‘90s came to a close. I’ve always liked Raven, to be sure, but I would say that he’s legitimately worked his way into being one of my favorite wrestlers ever at this point between this WCW watch and the bits and bobs of ECW re-watching that I’ve done in the last few years. Eddy Guerrero comes to the ring to face Vampiro. Bischoff says that they’re not allowed to show promotional footage for some Nitro Girls photo shoot PPV, but that it’s definitely steamy stuff. Then he goes back to apologizing for Savage and Rodman. Eddy goes right at Vampiro with strikes. Shaggy 2 Dope trips Eddy on a rope run so that Vampiro can take over. Vampiro is boring in control while Bisch talks about ICP performing at Woodstock ’99. Vamp tosses Eddy out of the ring and into a cameraman; he makes to slam Eddy’s head into the commentary desk while Bischoff shoos him away like a mildly-irritated grandparent sending their hyperactive grandkid out to the yard to run off some energy. Back in the ring, Vampiro gets two off an overhead belly-to-belly chant while some dudes try to get an ICP chant started. Eddy makes a comeback, but gets goozled and chokeslammed for two. Vamp goes up top, gets caught, and eats an arm drag. I genuinely think the Rodman/Savage segment elicited so much energy from this crowd that they're worn out. It’s like those two, Goldberg, and Sting are the actual stars on this show. Eddy takes out the interfering ICP; Raven looks entirely disinterested, though, and doesn’t get involved until it’s time to do his one spot. His one spot is shoving Eddy off the top rope and into a Vampiro Nail in the Coffin for three. I mean, Raven is working a gimmick where he’s disaffected and he looks particularly disaffected even for him tonight. Rey Misterio Jr. and Konnan run down for the save after the ICP jump in post-match and stomp at the downed Eddy. Bischoff blows off the Hogan challenge to Nash by saying that Nash is cool with any impromptu title matches, and he’s not interested. Then, he calls Hogan out to join commentary for the tag team main event. Ugh. Heenan decides to take a powder; Hogan tries to shake hands with Heenan, but Heenan’s a smart man. He declines and leaves. Hogan: “What’s wrong with Heenan, man, why doesn’t he just fall in line?” I treated you like shit before, but just fall in line and be nice to me? Yeah, that’s a man who is just faking at being a babyface. Sid and Rick Steiner come out to a clearly dubbed theme. What was Sid’s theme? I know this isn't a dub for Steiner’s GnR knockoff since that’s been fine for the past seven months’ worth of shows. Hold on. Alright, I listened to Sid’s theme, and I’m not sure what it apes so closely that it needs dubbing. Goldberg is okay coming out to Megadeth, though. I actually have a lot of curiosity about how they choose what gets dubbed over and what doesn’t. I don’t see how Rick Steiner’s obvious “Welcome to the Jungle” knockoff is any more okay than Jericho’s “Evenflow” knockoff or Page and Raven having Nirvana knockoffs. What makes Ernest Miller’s James Brown mimic so litigious? I mean, part of it is not wanting to send a few shekels Jimmy Hart’s way, so we don’t get the Three Count theme. But it’s interesting. I guess this Megadeth song is okay to use because WCW got the legal rights to use it in future reproductions of these shows. All that stuff is more interesting than this tag match. It goes a little under seven minutes. Goldberg and Sting rule the ring to start; the back of Goldberg’s head is legit split open from that earlier shovel shot, I think, and it looks like a clump of super glue is on the back of his head. Heh, just as I say that, Bischoff says that it is a clump of super glue. Sting randomly gets bonked into a guardrail so that he can play FIP for a couple of minutes. Hogan isn’t doing THE HULKSTER, BROTHER on commentary and, as it turns out, is quite tolerable in the role as a result. Sting makes a brief comeback by bashing Sid’s head into the mat, but Sid re-takes control and gets two on a chokeslam. Sid is over as a babyface and gets a SID chant, but when Sting comes back on him again, he gets a pop. Sid whiffs on a legdrop and Sting wraps him in a Scorpion Death Lock, which draws Steiner and Goldberg in. The ref focuses on Goldberg and Steiner comes up with a chair to hit Sting; Hogan gets up from commentary and takes the chair, then hits Steiner and Sid in the head with it. Kevin Nash comes out of nowhere and Jackknifes Hogan through the broadcast table as the timekeeper’s bell rings and the show ends. OK, that last part was pretty cool. This show wasn’t very good, but I didn’t hate it and most of the wrestling was perfectly fine. Honestly, you could do a whole lot worse. Also, we're one week closer to a temporary reprieve from Eric Bischoff, which I do thank Randy Savage and Dennis Rodman for. 2 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.