SirSmUgly

El Dandy and El Satanico vs. MS-1 and Masakre I was excited to see El Dandy’s name pop up because he’s a fun TV worker in Nitro Era WCW and has nice punches. I expected some crisp brawling work, but this was mostly a low-impact brawl. There was some good stuff, like a nice head ramming into a post early on, but most of it was really mediocre, soft work to me. There were also spots I didn’t really understand, like the rope run at about 2:50. I can’t say that I didn’t like this match, though I did think the brawling mostly stunk, including from Dandy (which surprised me as I know his rep and have seen him have dope brawls). It was more like I didn’t understand this match; there were a series of spots that I know had meaning, or that made sense in the context of CMLL’s house style, but that I guess I don’t get because I don’t understand the house style. The first fall is about four minutes in, but the offensive build to get there felt so Charmin soft that I’m not sure I bought the fall. It didn’t really escalate much for me in intensity from there, though there are a few nice top rope moves and a bit of obligabrawling. The heels could gnaw on as many foreheads as they wanted to, but it just wasn’t happening for me. I continue not to understand lucha tags, which I am at pains to note does not mean that I am asserting that lucha tags are objectively bad. It’s just that I don’t get it, though I hope to someday because I like pro wrestling and would generally prefer to enjoy as much of it as possible.

I saw something that indicated otherwise, but it was posted in some Reddit thread, and you know what, we'll go with what the man said himself.

I don't mind paying sixty bucks for twenty-five or so hours of high-quality gameplay with incredible (IMO) art direction. Besides, I think I got to thirty hours of gameplay in my original playthrough because I spent five hours trying to get through the last half of the final post-game world. The only complaint I had about the game is that they added Peach and Daisy, but not Rosalina. I wanted to play as Rosalina half the time and Luigi the other half, dang it! EDIT: Oh yeah, regarding Wart showing back up in a Mario game, I am still waiting for my villain team-up mainline Mario game in which Wart, Tatanga, and Fawful kidnap Bowser because he keeps failing to defeat Mario, and Bowser Jr. comes to Mario again for help in freeing his dad.

Show #210 – 11 October 1999 “The one where Seven makes me extremely uncomfortable, which I guess is at least a feeling, as opposed to the state of utter boredom the rest of the show had me in” Let’s Nitro in the most complete form possible, due to original production technical difficulties, *cough* *cough* Leathers, you bum *cough*. We get a ring bell salute for Gorilla Monsoon. Lex Luger The Total Package, dammit, and Liz confront Chris Benoit and Bret Hart as they pull up to the arena. TTP taunts Bret, who makes to attack, but is walled off by security. Liz wants to call immigration services on Bret, which I think is a bit much. In the recap, the car incident from last week is titled “Sid outsmarts Sid,” which is exactly what happened. It gets better as I think about it further. We need more heels trying to do fuckery to babyfaces, but hurting themselves without the babyface target even knowing that anything happened. It’s a Looney Tunes trope for the Roadrunner or Tweety to not even notice that Wile E. or Sylvester are failing to execute a complex plot against them. Looney Tunes tropes work really well in pro wrestling. Uh, except for when Hornswoggle draws a tunnel on a wall and escapes through it, while Carlito just slams into the wall. That one doesn’t translate to pro wrestling. Heenan got to give his tribute to Gorilla right off the jump, so where is the clip where he’s mad at Tony S. from? Poor Heenan is legit teary and has to try and kick into promotion mode for the upcoming events of the show right after, but you can tell his heart’s not in it. Dean Malenko confronts Perry Saturn about what he did on the previous Nitro in the backstage area, and Saturn pretends that he accidentally punched Rey in the face because he saw the guy move toward him out of the corner of his eye and automatically threw a punch. Malenko, smarter after months of being dicked around by Ric Flair, seems somewhat unconvinced. Saturn comes to the ring straightaway to face Rey Misterio Jr. Saturn tries to explain himself to Rey in the center of the ring and offers a hand in apology. Rey takes it and lands an arm drag, and then we get some pace. Rey sends Saturn into the corner and hits a headscissors that sends Saturn outside; he fakes a dive to back Saturn off, and lands a senton bomb to the floor (!!!). Saturn looks like he’s in trouble and just manages to counter a Rey rana attempt with a running powerbomb a la Jushin Liger. Saturn crawls over because he’s been getting his ass kicked, and the gap between the powerbomb and the pinfall attempt gets two…and then we go into a commercial break while Saturn sits Rey in an armlock? Aw, what?! We come back to Saturn in control. He gets two on a springboard legdrop, then complains to Johnny Boone about the pace of his count. After he's all complained out, he continues his assault on Rey, landing a nice overhead pumphandle suplex for two. He finally misses a corner charge, which allows Rey to land a flurry of punches and a Bronco Buster. Saturn gets up and charges Rey, who ducks it, but Rey ends up trying to hit an elaborate facebuster and gets hit with a facebuster of his own out of the wheelbarrow position. Saturn goes up, looking for an impact move, but he badly whiffs on his guillotine legdrop attempt. Rey goes outside and springboards himself right into DVD position, but slips out of the back and rolls up Saturn for two; this starts a series of flash pinfall counters for both men, but neither man can get three. They get up, run the ropes and whiff on dual dropkick attempts, basically scissoring each other in mid-air to sell groin damage. I mentioned the word “scissoring,” so I know I’m supposed to say something here about Daddy Ass, which I believe refers to Billy Gunn in some way that I really don’t want to know, actually, I don’t watch AEW for many reasons and this seems like one of them. Who will get up first and break this standing ten count? No one; Saturn rolls over at eight and covers Rey for two. When Rey kicks out, the ladies shriek. I know I crap on Kidman and all, but oh my gosh, make Rey and Kidman tag champs right now. Women love those dudes, and they’re a good tag team with some nice chemistry. Anyway, Rey is able to score a top-rope Frankensteiner. Shane Douglas runs down and makes to take the chain out of his elbowpad, but Malenko closely follows and stops him; Kidman runs into the ring and Boone throws the match out. Kidman grabs a mic and challenges Douglas and Saturn to an immediate tag match, but the whole mass of Revolution members just walks away. This match was so much fun that it’s worth watching even with the bullshit ending and the early commercial break. Hype video: Meng kills dudes, and then Ric Flair and Arn Anderson comment on Meng killing dudes as they watch the video on a monitor; Arn brushes his teeth while making his comments. O….kay? Kaz Hayashi gets a shot at Disco Inferno’s Cruiserweight Championship. Heenan claims that Disco wore the belt while on the plane out of Atlanta and showed it to every flight attendant and pilot during the flight. Disco doesn’t let Slick Johnson hold up the belt before the match starts and insists on doing it himself. Aw, that was a nice little pocket of character building from both Heenan and Disco. Disco tries to punch his way into control and gets kicked around and hit with a somersault dive on the floor. Kaz tries a corner charge back in the ring, but collides with Disco’s raised elbow and walks into a follow-up clothesline. Disco stomps a mudhole in the corner, then hits a slam and tries a second-rope elbow that connects; he tries a cover, but Kaz kicks out at two. Disco keeps things moving with a swinging neckbreaker, but he dances for a while instead of going straight to the cover, so Kaz kicks out again and immediately lands a sunset flip for his own two count. Kaz tries to confuse Disco with his agility, but Disco just jabs a thumb into Kaz’s eye and lands a DDT for two, then grounds Hayashi with a chinlock. Not satisfied with the damage that his chinlock is doing, Disco brings Kaz back to his feet and hits an inverted atomic drop, then dumps him outside, asks if the match is being broadcast in Japan, and then bonks Kaz’s head on the announce table so they can see it in Hokkaido. Disco brings Kaz back into the ring; Hayashi is able to land a counter Frankensteiner, then side step a corner charge and land a brainbuster and a corkscrew elbow for two. Kaz shoots Disco into the ropes and ducks down into a Disco piledriver attempt, but Kaz flips out of that and gets two on another sunset flip. Kaz shoots Disco in and tries a dropkick, but whiffs, and that’s all she wrote: Disco lands a side Russian to disorient Hayashi, then lands a Chartbuster for three. That match was solid. Mayhem Match of the Week recap: Disco beats Psicosis to become the newest Cruiserweight Champion in a dumb booking decision; some poor sucker has to go to the last Nitro of the year because he submitted this result in a sweepstakes. Tha Monsta Meng is in the house to face Konnan. Urgh. Something about the audio is fucked up, so it’s hard to hear that Konnan is hitting the Catchphrase Roulette and it’s still over with the crowd, generally. Meng clubbers Konnan to start. I guess this might be the start of another random Meng push. Konnan finally slides under a big boot and lands a DDT, but Meng eats that for a light snack, gets up, and locks the Tongan Death Grip on Konnan, who flails for the ropes and reaches them. Meng chokes, Meng lands elbows, Meng traps Konnan in the corner. Konnan does manage another comeback, which includes the worst floatover bulldog in the history of the pro wrestling business, but Meng kicks out at two, lands a standing side kick, and celebrates. Meng does land a nice legdrop, but Konnan pops off one more comeback and hits a rolling clothesline and a sit-out facebuster for two. Konnan tries a sunset flip next, but Meng drops down and puts on the TDG to get a three count for the victory. Well, you know, it was watchable! That’s something! THE WALL, BROTHER, clobbers Brad Armstrong in the back of the head backstage; Berlyn walks up, derides BA in German, and pokes him with his walking cane, but Armstrong nabs the cane and tries to attack THE WALL, BROTHER as officials flood the scene to stop any potential carnage. The Outsiders (w/beers) attend the show once more. They sit down at ringside as Bobby Heenan does some more Pulitzer Prize-quality journalistic work. Heenan wants to know when they’re coming back. Nash is still retired; Hall is resting an injured back from carrying the company – his words, paraphrased – and the crowd would certainly like them to tag up once more based on their response. Nash wishes Dusty Rhodes a happy birthday and threatens us with an nWo revival, dammit, NO. Nash says they’ll be getting back in the ring in July of 2012, and if I peeked into the world where WCW existed in 2012, A.J. Styles would be bumming around the midcard and losing the TV title to forty-something-year-old Disco Inferno even though the crowd clearly wants him to be the world champ, I’m sure. Goldberg marches out with a phalanx of LEOs; Sid walks up and barks at Goldberg, but Goldberg looks unconcerned as Sid cackles. Horace Hogan is Goldberg’s punching bag tonight. Goldberg collar-and-elbows Horace into the corner and then out-punches him before decking him with a lariat. Goldberg lands a press into a powerslam, and I’m intrigued at the finish of Goldberg/Sid. I legit want to see how they book that one. Also, I want to see Sid pinball around as best he can for Goldberg. Goldberg tries a cross-arm breaker, but ends up getting dumped into the stairs outside of the ring after Horace reaches the ropes and bails out after Goldberg breaks the hold. It doesn’t mean much, though; Horace gets back in the ring, hits a body slam, and lands a top-rope splash, but Goldberg presses him out of the cover at two and then absorbs a few punches before doing what he does best: killing a midcarder with a spear and a Jackhammer. Gene Okerlund is in the ring, which means that I’m about to strongly dislike a promo segment. Yep, Hulk Hogan comes out here. We’re in October of 1999. Bash at the Beach 2000 is about nine months away. I can do that, right? There’s probably at least a month or two in that stretch that he doesn’t show up as he shoots a straight-to-Blockbuster-Video special. I can do this. Okerlund asks him some questions about potentially retiring and about his feud with Sting, but who cares about any of that nonsense? What I’m wondering is how he and Flair end up beefing YET AGAIN and having a Yavapai Yappapi Apple Pie? Strap Match. WCW has run that matchup into the ground and shoveled dirt on its corpse, and then the corpse broke down and liquefied into crude oil. Hogan cuts a promo that is the absolute worst, and I wish he really would have retired. It’s another Nitro Girls search segment. If there is a Nitro Girl winner in this pair, I don’t recognize her, but the second young lady is from Biloxi and was clearly a Mid-South fan (she shouted out JYD and Ted DiBiase specifically) as a young child, so I’m rooting for her. HAHAHAHAHAHA, David Flair walks in on Torrie Wilson wiping lipstick from Billy Kidman’s cheek, and Kidman heads out and tosses off a casual, “Hey, David” as he leaves, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Kidman wasn’t even trying to hurt that poor dopey chump by being so casual, but he did anyway. Was that worth Torrie Wilson and David Flair being back on television? Absolutely not. But it was funny! Anyway, Torrie wants nothing to do with the younger Flair. Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) continues to get a bullshit inexplicable push. This guy fucking SUCKS. I can’t believe that he’s going to be on television for at least another year, if I recall correctly. Knobbs faces Stevie Ray in a street fight. I feel pretty confident that they’re taking the belts off Harlem Heat at Havoc because this has been an aimless pair of reigns they’ve had, and broadly, you can see a reason to go ahead and put the belts on a heel team. Not the heel team they’re fixing to put the belts on, but a heel team. Booker T. walks out to second Stevie, and I see that Hugh Morrus has stomped his way out here at some point. I don’t care about this match, and look, you know that it’s all weak strikes and weapon shots. Let me just skip to the ending of this one for you: Booker T. hits Hugh Morrus in the dome with a chair a couple of times, which draws the ref for some reason. Stevie puts two boots into a trash can that Knobbs is holding as Knobbs charges him, but the ref doesn’t see his cover and Jimmy Hart grabs another trash can and slams Stevie in the back of the head with it, then puts Knobbs on top of Stevie for three. That match felt entirely meaningless as it transpired. Recap: Shane Douglas gets a kick out of Saturn landing a chain-assisted punch on Rey Misterio Jr. Shane Douglas comes into the aisle and does some mic work to indicate that the Revolution is going to bicker at one another for our, uh, I guess you’d argue that it’s technically “entertainment.” For our “entertainment.” Douglas is upset about Malenko running in on the opening match tonight, but Malenko doesn’t have any time for that shit. Douglas is upset about Benoit hanging out with veterans like Bret Hart instead of guys like him. Benoit doesn’t have any time for that shit, and in fact realizes that he’s better than all this nonsense, rips off his Revolution shirt, and tosses it in Douglas’s face before leaving. Saturn gets aggy at Douglas pissing Benoit off, but it’s probably just a ruse to sucker Malenko into being his tag partner later tonight, I guess, or at Havoc? Who knows, but Malenko’s going to stand in for a kayfabe-and-possibly-shoot injured Douglas in a tag match, and I would assume that he’s going to get his ass kicked by Saturn and Douglas soon enough. Whoa, La Parka’s skull mask is sick. His tights say, in a partial translation from the Spanish, ONLY FOR TIMBONAS. What is a TIMBONAS? Tony S. announces that World War 3 is dead, long live WCW Mayhem instead. Oops, I mean WCW Mayhem the PPV, not WCW Mayhem for the N64 and Game Boy Color. Now, here comes Brad Armstrong, and dammit, if he goes over La Parka cleanly, I’m going to be bummed out. Armstrong hits a trio of arm drags, then puts a boot up on a Park charge, and another. BA tries to follow Park out, but Parka hits a powerslam for two. How does WCW have so much talent, but they book these Nitros that just feel the same, full of filler, mostly boring? Parka lands a sweet missile dropkick for two, then drops a corkscrew moonsault across BA’s legs that legit shook BA up, I think. Park is like, Aw shit, I might have hurt him. Parka covers for two eventually, and BA’s fine. In fact, Armstrong makes a comeback as Berlyn and THE WALL, BROTHER walk down the aisle. There’s a ref bump because this company is stupid, and there are too many fucking ref bumps. THE WALL, BROTHER destroys Park with a chair, and Berlyn picks his spot and jumps Armstrong, hitting him with a reverse neckbreaker. BA rolls over and covers Park as the ref counts three and Berlyn leaves. What the fuck? What was the point of this? I can’t tell if it’s this show or the valerian root that I put in my tea which is making me drowsy. Curt Hennig tries to hit on Torrie Wilson, and it’s pretty funny, actually (Hennig: “You know, I’ve got two CDs”). David comes up to her, but she doesn’t want to see him, which is a pretty rational reaction to seeing David Flair walk up to you. Hennig is annoyed that Dopey Dave is fucking up the game he’s trying to run and beats him up, then rushes off after Torrie. Not even (this neutered version of) Norman Smiley can get me excited to keep watching this show. Aw, he’s going to job to Berlyn (w/THE WALL, BROTHER). I think it’s wild that they’re dedicating significant time to a Berlyn/Brad Armstrong feud on Nitro…or that they’re paying off that feud at Halloween Havoc. I’ve come around to thinking that people overstate how harmful the Duggan match was for Berlyn. He’s just been mis-booked from the jump, and it didn’t help that Buff apparently wouldn’t job unless THE WALL, BROTHER was there to make Berlyn’s victory as cheap as possible. You know what, this presentation had potential, but maybe just get Wright and Disco back together to bolster that awful tag division you have, WCW, because Berlyn is a dud in practice. This match is alright, as you’d guess. Smiley is still popular because of the Big Wiggle and still gets cheers when he teases it. He got over, and then they just killed his heel push I guess because the Big Wiggle was too raw for television (no pun intended). WCW’s creative does this all the time, pushing an interesting talent that the crowd is into for a month or two before killing that push and relegating them to WCWSN and Worldwide for a while. So, this match: Berlyn dives into a boot and Smiley starts a comeback. He hits a pair of wind-up slams, then does a Big Wiggle to a nice pop before Berlyn lands a high knee and a reverse neckbreaker for three. Aw, shit, Gene Okerlund’s back in the ring. Ric Flair comes out here, and since he’s not really in a blood feud and is a babyface, I assume he’ll ratchet up the annoying crazy old man stuff. He’s upset about Curt Hennig punching his kid in the face, so it looks like they’ll resume their rivalry. Flair calls Hennig “Mr. Perfect,” and I’m sure McDevitt sent a memo to WCW about this slip-up at some point. Ric threatens to disappoint Kimberly in the sack later tonight and elbowdrops the mat, so you can imagine the type of nonsense late-era Flair promo that this is. Saturn and Shane Douglas come to the ring. Ah, here’s Malenko already in the ring, I think. Anyway, I totally forgot that Billy Kidman made this challenge way back at the end of the first match, and I didn’t realize that the Revolution members had agreed to it. Kidman challenged them “right now,” and the Revolution just left without responding. Kidman and Malenko do some counter-filled exchanges until Malenko leg lariats Kidman to the floor, then slides out and back Douglas off when Douglas wanders near a downed Kidman. I’m still asleep, mostly, until Saturn and Kidman do a WILD spot where Saturn release overhead belly-to-belly suplexes Kidman from the ring all the way to the floor. WHOOO, that spot ruled. Malenko keeps a watchful eye on Douglas, who really wants to get involved. Saturn tosses Kidman into the stairs and then back into the ring as we go to commercial break. We see a replay of the suolex, which is actually less impressive because they show an angle where Kidman clearly grabs the top rope on the suplex and controls his fall. The original angle of the suplex made it hard to see that Kidman had done that, and in real time, it looked like he just splattered himself. It was the perfect bump, in that it was controlled, but in real time, it didn’t look controlled. Anyway, Kidman finally gets a hot tag to Rey, who gets a huge, high-pitched pop when he tags in. Now, Rey tries a rana on Malenko, but Saturn cross body blocks Rey from the top rope as Misterio tries to complete the move. Saturn covers for two, but also Malenko is mad at him for some reason? I don’t fucking know. Saturn and Misterio are a fun pairing. Rey gets up a head of steam before leaping into a Saturn boot on a Bronco Buster attempt. Tony S. thinks that every overhead suplex that Saturn hits is a T-Bone Suplex for some reason. The work in this match is good, but the story is so muddled. Like, I get that Saturn and Malenko are beefing, but why would Malenko be mad that Saturn reversed a Rey rana? That’s a legit, clean move, which is what Malenko is demanding from Saturn. Saturn tags himself back in, and Malenko shoves Saturn backward into a Rey rollup for two in response. Saturn tags back out because he’s annoyed. What is this holding committee doing the booking even doing? There’s so much nonsense on this show. Weird finishes, incoherent character beats: This show is baffling when it isn’t boring. Rey is FIP, and Malenko actually lands a gutbuster and then locks on a Texas Cloverleaf, but Saturn tags himself back in because he wants to get the win. He lands a Savage Elbow, then tags Malenko back in. I think Malenko is going to lose control of the match, but he lands a superplex after a short counter session and then there’s a standing ten count for some reason even though Malenko was basically in control all the way through and countered Rey's counters before hitting the superplex. So, Rey gets a hot tag, and Kidman cleans house and then boosts Rey for a super Frankensteiner, but Malenko makes the save. Rey takes out Malenko as Kidman preps an SSP, but Douglas knocks Kidman off the ropes and then tosses the chain to Saturn, who uses it to drill Kidman in the head for three. Malenko spots the replay of the finish on the TurnerTron, rips up his Revolution shirt, and spits at Douglas before storming away in anger. Haha, the Revolution is possibly the worst stable in pro wrestling history. If we had a kayfabe WCW stable ranking, they’d be beneath the First Family. Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus are more effective than they are. Think about that! Hype video: Goldberg kills off mooks and NPCs. Forget nine more months until the Hulkster fucks off to Tampa; only three months until Nitro goes back to two hours! Syko Sid Vicious beats up Van Hammer. Tony S. notes that Hammer did request this match on Thunder a couple of weeks ago, so there’s some follow-through here, at least. Hammer tries his best, but he gets stuck with a Sid big boot and doesn’t really threaten from there. Vicious chews his gum all the way through this thing. Charles Robinson isn’t the ref, so they have to work a fucking ref bump so that Rick Steiner can come down, hit a diving bulldog, and help Sid land a spike powerbomb. Steiner stays in there to count the pin, but Slick Johnson revives and counts it himself even though Steiner is counting along with him at the one count. I mean, yeah, Steiner slides out of the ring after that, but you’d think Slick would think it’s weird that his count was in stereo and look around before Steiner can get his burly ass back underneath the ropes. Mike Tenay joins the desk to talk about last week’s Benoit/Hitman matchup, and they show the finish of that match…and then… Vignette: Seven breaks into a little boy’s bedroom. It’s weird. Seven, or maybe the Black Scorpion, says this, word for word: AWAKE, MY SON. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? WHAT’S IN YOUR CLOSET? WHO IS IN YOUR WINDOW? COME TO ME AND LIVE FOREVER. JOIN ME IN COMPLETE BLISS. THAT’S RIGHT, MY SON. NOW SLEEP, MY CHILD, and this is one hundred percent a molestation allegory, right? That was some “The Niteman Cometh” style shit. Who is working out their pain by developing these Seven vignettes? Someone get them some fucking therapy already. Curt Hennig forgets the lyrics to his own theme music as he comes down the aisle with Curly Bill; Ric Flair is his opponent. I don’t ever want to see this match again, especially in 1999. My goodness. Hennig dances; Flair slaps him; Hennig bails. I’m not entirely sure that Flair ever got his big win over Hennig when they were feuding in late 1997/early 1998. I am quite sure that he didn't, actually. Flair chops and low blows Hennig, and oh man, let’s move this along. There’s an obligabrawl. There’s an unnecessary commercial break in this thing. It hits every annoying trope that WCW television matches often hit in the late Nitro era. Flair plays the hits, including locking a Figure Four on Hennig. Hennig gets the ropes, though Flair just beats him up some more. Hennig gets control, and tries to cheat to win, but David Flair runs out and knocks Curly Bill away as Bill tries to help Hennig get a leveraged pinfall; Flair pins Hennig and uses the ropes himself for three. Boy, did that match suck ass. Recap: Luger TTP hits Bret in the face with a baseball bat. That should be a broken nose and a lot of reconstructive surgery if it were a legit bat. Stop using weapons that should put someone out for weeks or months if you can’t follow through. We finally get the entrances for the main event about nine-and-a-half minutes before this show ends. All this time to fill, to the point that we got multiple segments and matches to build Brad Armstrong/Berlyn and a replay of the finish to a match that ended last week, but these main events are still like seven minutes long. Luger TTP even does his whole unveiling thing to eat up more time. So, it’s tTP and Rick Steiner’s sorry ass against Chris Benoit and Bret Hart. The match immediately breaks down: Bret goes at Luger, and Benoit attacks Steiner. Bret and Luger tTP have an obligabrawl outside the ring while Steiner does boring offense inside the ring. We get the notice that this show had technical difficulties again, so if we’re just going to fritz out here before this match ends, sure, that’s fine. But no, it’s just more audio issues that end around the time that Benoit gets a Crippler Crossface on Steiner and tTP makes the save. None of this matters because Sid eventually comes down here and makes things three-on-two when the heels already in the ring are totally fucked. They destroy Benoit and then the Hitman until Goldberg comes down and spears Steiner. Sid gets a mic and is like U CAN’T TOUCH THIS and then he does a crab walk, but Goldberg spears him anyway. No, wait, the crab walk didn’t happen, but Goldberg did spear him. So, uh, is the Havoc match off since it had the stip that Goldberg couldn't touch Sid before the match? Is this how they get out of Goldberg eating loss number two? Do I even have the capacity to care if they bait-and-switch the only match on the Havoc card that I have a mild interest in at this point? This show was confusing and boring, but at least it wasn’t, like, negative Stinger Splashes bad, you know? That counts for something. 1.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I accept that I'm in the minority on SMB2 (USA) in general. I'm glad people like that game because oh man, it is not for me. It was my favorite game in 2023. If you like World because of the secret exits, you'll enjoy that aspect of Wonder quite a bit. There are some quite creative secret exits in Wonder.

Thunder Interlude – show number eighty-three – 7 October 1999 "The WCW Gang sure hopes that you like obligabrawls" Let’s Thunder!... We’ve got Cruiserweight, TV, and United States title defenses on deck tonight… Blitzkrieg opens the show against Dean Malenko…The crowd actually looks pretty lively tonight, crowd juicing or not…This may be a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER alert…Malenko works as the base against another high-flyer…I wonder if we got a good Blitz/Parka match on SN or Worldwide at some point…I bet if that match happened, it was good, on tape or not…Blitz has to creatively fight up from or avoid Malenko power moves…This formula in the cruiserweight division almost guarantees a good match…Blitz manages to land a couple of corner dropkicks and his moonsault/standing senton combo for two…Malenko survives and stops all that pacey nonsense with a knee lift…He lands a suplex for two… The crowd seems pretty relaxed on the hard cam side, which is at odds with the absurd level or crowd noise being pumped in…Sorry, we only have two-thirds of the necessary conditions for a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER…Maybe if they made these guys matter and booked Blitz more competitively, people would care…Also, shitting the title for the division down a hole for pretty much all of 1999 doesn’t help either…Malenko grapevines the leg, lands a gutbuster, and reverses a Blitz suplex attempt and dumps Blitzkrieg outside… When the match goes out there, Blitz is able to reverse an Irish whip to the rail, create some space, and land some more offense…Blitz lands a gorgeous corkscrew splash to the floor, rolls Malenko back inside, and only gets two…He and Malenko exchange a series of counters in the corner, but Malenko ends up winning that encounter by tripping Blitz on the top rope, then following him up and hitting a super back suplex…There’s a standing ten count, and though Malenko is up first, Blitz rolls through his powerbomb attempt…They trade flash pinfall attempts, but back to standing, Blitz whiffs on a haymaker and a spinning roundhouse…Malenko lands a boot in Blitzkrieg’s solar plexus, double-underhook powerbombs him, and transitions into a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission victory…The crowd was more active for that finishing run, but it always makes me sad to see the crowd buys into matches in this division way less than they used to…Very good television match, though… Recap: Disco Inferno is the new Cruiserweight Champion because only people who speak English as at least one of their home language are allowed to hold this thing now… We don’t even see Disco’s entrance…He’s already in the ring to defend this title against Evan Karagias…Disco and Karagias actually have a decent opening exchange based around Karagias applying holds to Disco’s arm and Disco countering…Karagias lands a couple of dropkicks, and Disco goes through the ropes and to the protective mats below…Disco gets back in the ring and controls the arm this time…He shoots Karagias in, but ducks down and gets tossed backward and into the mat…Karagias lands ten punches and goes to a headlock, but Disco shoots him out of it and tosses him over the top rope on the rebound… It's an obligabrawl…Disco wins that one and covers for two after rolling Karagias back in the ring…A Disco swinging neckbreaker gives him some room to dance…He lands a few stomps and a vertical suplex…He calls for another one and hits it…He tries a third, but Karagias hops out and manages a roll-up for two…They land a double-clothesline spot that knocks them both down…They get up, but Karagias wins their strike-fest…He slams Disco and hits a springboard crossbody for two…Karagias lands a power slam, but only gets two…Disco stuffs a Karagias headscissors attempt and crotches the guy, then waits for him to get up and painfully stumble into a Chartbuster for three…That’s about as good a TV match as you’re going to get out of Karagias in a straight singles bout…Karagias reminds me of Brian Pillman in that he’s too vascular and not agile enough to do high-flying stuff without looking generally awkward… Recap: Berlyn calls Brad Armstrong an American pig on Nitro… Mike Tenay goes full xenophobe by declaring that Armstrong speaks for all Americans by demanding that Berlyn speaks English…Brad Armstrong does not now and never has spoken for me, sir…I’ll thank you to mind your words next time…I thought that maybe Chris Adams was done with WCW since I hadn’t seen him out here with Lord Regal and Squire Taylor lately, but he’s got at least one more televised job in him…This match is pretty dull…It’s back and forth and has an obligabrawl and everything…Armstrong survives a spate of pinfall attempts, including getting his boot on the ropes after eating a superkick…He dodges a wild splash attempt against the ropes and quickly floats over on a side Russian for three…Too long… I was interested in this TV title bout since Chris Benoit is the title holder…But then they ran Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) out here as his opponent…Yuuuuuuuuck…There has been far too much Brian Knobbs on my screen the last few months, but they’ve really gone overboard with all the Knobbs matches and segments in the past couple of months…Tenay hypes a Benoit/Hitman team-up on the next Nitro…That sounds interesting…This is not, but Benoit elevates it to watchability, which is really something considering his opponent…We get our third straight obligabrawl…Look, these wandering brawl spots outside the ring only matter if they are used somewhat sporadically…They do make this one more impactful by fighting into the crowd and having Knobbs tumble down a few of the stairs after getting popped, at least… There’s a commercial break in this thing in the middle of that obligabrawl…Tenay says that Nick Patrick just make this thing no DQ in the middle of it all…Hart shoves Benoit off the top rope once they’re back in the ring…Benoit only headbutts mat, and Knobbs covers for two…Knobbs does some cursory offense, but leaps off the second rope and into a boot…Knobbs blocks a German suplex with a back elbow, then hits a running clothesline in the corner…Knobbs misses another charge and is hit with a German, then another that gets two before Jimmy Hart runs in and breaks it up…Hart and Knobbs try a team-up to land a megaphone shot…Benoit ducks away and Hart clobbers Knobbs…Benoit lands a diving headbutt on Knobbs for three…They put a lot of effort into that to make it a watchable television match... Tenay gives tribute to Gorilla Monsoon, who passed away, and note this: Tenay says that Heenan is going to give a verbal tribute to Monsoon on Monday Nitro…This explains why Heenan was so heated at Tony S….Management must have said he could have some time to speak about Monsoon, but then ran over on their segments and didn’t let him do it… Silver King and Lash LeRoux have a nice little television match…LeRoux ends a series of Irish whips with a back elbow, then hits the splits and a lariat…LeRoux shoots King back in, but ducks down and is put down with a tornado DDT…King accidentally misses a somersault legdrop that’s supposed to land, but it’s okay, nobody’s perfect…He misses a corner splash on purpose and walks into a diving Frankensteiner for two…Lash goes up again and tries a crossbody, but King shoves a diving LeRoux over his head and then powerbombs LeRoux for two…King sticks on a chinlock and bites LeRoux’s forehead… King sits LeRoux up top, but LeRoux fights King off once, then twice…He dives down with a double-axe, but leaves his abdomen wide open for a punch...You won’t believe this, but we get another obligabrawl…Maybe put that sort of thing to rest for this match because you won’t be able to top the previous match’s obligabrawl…At least it's short…King gets an Asai moonsault for two…He tries a Crucifix Bomb, but LeRoux slips out of the back and manages to hook King and land a Whiplash for three…LeRoux is obviously still learning in there and can be awkward with his positioning, but I thought it was a fine job by the vet Silver King to get some good stuff out of his opponent here… Hype video replay: Lex Luger is dead, and the Total Package rises from the ashes… Dale Torborg comes out here with a painted face and wearing a baseball uniform…I am utterly confused by this get-up…As I recall, the last we saw Torborg, he was blowing out a knee on Nitro (Show #161)…He’s facing the Maestro, who uses a piano-only version of Paul Orndorff’s WONDERFULLLLLLLL/YOU KNOW HE IS SO WONDERFULLLLLLLLL theme…Man, that theme ruled…Boy, this match isn’t any good to start…It’s not that good while continuing or finishing, either…I think the Maestro is passable, but Torborg is pretty bad at this…I love that the Maestro randomly played the piano during a busy segment on Nitro a couple weeks back, and then he just randomly debuts on a taped Thunder…Torborg wins with a Rock Bottom… Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman should probably be tag champs, and if those First Family bums win them at Havoc, it had better be to transition the belts to these two the next night on Nitro…The high flyers are here to bank an easy victory over Disorderly Conduct…As you’d guess, Misterio and Kidman style all over these dudes…They land stereo dives…Kidman barely needs help to work both guys over…Rey gets in a bit of trouble, bails himself out of it with a rana, and then tries to go to the air and gets hit with a sit-out slam…Rey’s FIP for a little bit, but never really feels in much danger…There’s a commercial break in the middle of this bout…Mike misses a top-rope elbow, and Rey makes a hot tag…Kidman continues to have few problems handling both DC members at once…The match breaks down, which is bad news for DC…Kidman and Misterio are just too dynamic for their competition…A boosted top-rope Frankensteiner nets three for the Filthy Animal members… Sit-down interview: Bret Hart talks about what his match against Chris Benoit on the previous Nitro meant to him… Stevie Ray gets a U.S. Championship shot against Sid…Booker T. and Rick Steiner are nowhere to be seen at the beginning of this match…I suspect that Sid gets the second victory ever over Goldberg…I don’t think he’s dropping the U.S. Championship to Goldberg, and they tend to have finishes, whether clean or not, on PPV…Is this match good?...Obviously not…But again, it’s not the worst…It’s watchable…The match starts with an obligabrawl…Rick Steiner stomps out at about the time the match re-enters the ring…Sid boots a distracted Stevie to the floor, and Steiner attacks…Where the heck is Booker?...Steiner just cheats liberally while Charles Robinson pretends not to see it…OK, let me suggest that there’s a fifty-fifty chance that Charles Robinson fast-counts Goldberg down at Halloween Havoc…Stevie survives a chinlock and makes a comeback…He punches Rick Steiner off the apron, but turns around into a soft boot…Sid tries a powerbomb, but gets back body dropped out of it…Robinson ties his shoe and averts his gaze so Steiner can hit a diving bulldog…Sid lands a spike powerbomb that gets three…Booker deserves to lose his T. for being nowhere to be seen on this one… This was an eminently watchable show with mostly decent matches and full of obligabrawls…WOO…

I think that WCW thinks it less Anglicized. I need to go back through my Nitro reports as I edit them into one big document, but I'm pretty sure Eddy became Eddie, Rey Misterio Jr. became Rey Mysterio Jr., and Psicosis became Psychosis over late '96/early '97. I think it's just WCW stylizing the names more 'Merican. I hazily remember writing about the name changes on the chyron as they happened, so I need to go back and check. Funny enough, Eddie spelled it with the -ie ending IRL, and I think spelled it that way before entering WCW? That question is more for the lucha heads.

I think that was bobholly living in Alabama who got Florida, JCP, and a couple other regional promotions. I can't @ the guy, but if I recall correctly, living in SE Alabama (IIRC) had it's wrestling-related benefits.

That's not a bad fit, honestly. I usually hear something more on the nose when I see a kick return: https://youtu.be/OHwNg__47vg?si=m0rlgdQWN0tM41b9

Show #209 – 4 October 1999 “The one in which we demonstrate the differences between high art (Bret vs. Benoit), low art (Sid's car-crushing shenanigans) and no art (Russo and Ferrara are on their way!)” Goldberg pulls up to the show in his car. Aw yeah, more car-related shenanigans! Sid theatrically steps out from behind a pillar that he was hiding behind and checks the number of the parking spot that Goldberg has pulled into – 22. This will become important later. I know this and I’ve never actually watched this episode. The screen cap spoils a certain couple of guys showing up to Nitro, but then again, it’s not exactly a surprise that Nash and Hall were coming back soon. We’re in October of 1999, and there’s still so much nonsense to cram into these shows before we get to the end of March in 2001. We haven’t even gotten to Russo quite yet, and then it strikes me that Russo is gone in January because don’t the Radicalz leave after Souled Out? Is Russo’s first run in the company three months and that’s it? For a creative leadership stint that seems like it’s taken on biblical proportions, it’s roughly a third of the length of time that Nash was destroying the company in a creative leadership position. We’re in Kansas City, and in the Kemper Arena, so we’re getting a banger of a Hitman/Chris Benoit match later in this show. Rey Misterio Jr. and Dean Malenko already in the ring for another match against one another. Though Malenko is nowhere near Rey’s best opponent, Rey is certainly Dean Malenko’s best opponent. Malenko uses his power against Rey’s speed and slingshots him to the floor while Tony S. talks about the rest of the Filthy Animals not being in the building tonight [Editor's note: Untrue, unless Kidman and Torrie simply hadn't arrived yet and were off getting busy in a Burger King bathroom or something at the time this match started]. Too bad. I would have liked to see an Eddy Guerrero match on this show. Back in the ring, Malenko manages to switch and counter his way into a legbar, but Misterio gets the ropes. Rey makes a comeback with a dropkick; he escalates things with a springboard onto the second rope and a rana after Malenko launches him on a rope run. Malenko grounds Rey after that spot, and this is reminiscent of an early PPV match they had where the crowd wants to see Rey hit explosive offense, but they are sort of sitting on their hands for the parts of the match in between those explosions. Well, at least until Malenko gets an inverted surfboard on. That’s a nice-looking submission hold. He transitions into a regular old surfboard, then shifts Misterio backward and bridges for two. Malenko lands a baseball slide into Misterio’s knee, then goes back to the legbar before transitioning out of it and doing some loose work where he runs the ropes and tumbles outside after Rey barely ducks. Rey follows up with a flipping plancha to Malenko outside the ring, then tosses him inside and tries to follow with a top-rope rana. Malenko blocks Rey’s downward motion and sits right down into a Texas Cloverleaf, but he never really locks it in, and Rey crawls to the ropes. Rey bursts up with offense again, but his rope run gets countered into a side slam for two more. They trade counters for two counts, actually, as Rey gets two by toppling over into a crossbody when Malenko tries to lift him, and then both guys crash into each other for lariats and dual cover for two. Alright, both men climb the corner again and fight it out, but this week, Dean knocks Rey to the apron before Rey recovers and dropkicks Dean. Shane Douglas runs down, knees the ref out of the ring, and prepares to use the chain on Rey. Saturn runs down, rips the chain away, and about the time that Dean begs off like he’s an ‘80s heel looking at the Hulkster get his third wind, I figure out that Saturn’s turning heel. In fact, Saturn punches Rey with the chain as Dean revives the ref. Malenko crawls back into the ring, having seen none of this, and locks on another Texas Cloverleaf as the ref signals that Rey is out completely. Malenko spots Saturn and Douglas at ringside, then sees the replay of the finish on the NitroTron and seems displeased about the whole thing. Well, at least the Saturn/Douglas vs. Malenko/Benoit tags should be solid television, as this opening match was, actually. Tony S. promotes a sweepstakes involving WCW Mayhem for the N64 and Game Boy Color (dud) and a chance to win a trip and tickets to WCW New Year’s Evil (which does actually happen; I got it confused with the NYE show that was supposed to actually be on New Year's Eve that never occurred). Disco Inferno was an over midcarder once, but it’s not 1997 anymore. Funny enough, Tony S. says the fans are “laughing and they are dancing and they are smiling,” and the camera cuts to a bunch of bored looking dudes and one person hitting the double thumbs down. The amount of dancing in the crowd shots was very low compared to two years ago. It’s time for the character to have a refresher, and no, I don’t mean an “in hock to Italian-American mobsters” type of refresher. Disco’s apparently had no trouble making weight this time around; he’s getting a Cruiserweight Championship shot. So, Psicosis is the Cruiserweight Champ somehow. I forgot to mention this, but they took the West Hollywood Blondes off television at the behest of someone from Turner with some damn sense. Now Psicosis is out here with the gold, but where did he win it? Let me go check this out. OK, from what I can tell, WCW just plunked the gold on Psicosis and claimed that he beat Lane for it at a house show (on Thunder, at least; on Nitro, Tony S. just says that he won it and leaves it at that). A cursory look at the house shows between this week’s Nitro and last week’s illustrate that Lane was only on one of them, tagging with Lodi in a loss to Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus in Huntsville, Alabama on the 29th of September. Wow, how quick was the turnaround on this decision? They couldn’t even fly Lane into Oklahoma City or Wichita, a couple of days before Nitro, and have him lose off-television to Psicosis? Holy shit, now Tony S., after eliding the whole thing about Psicosis’s phantom title win over Lenny Lane by not mentioning Lane’s name, then explicitly notes that WCW has hired Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara and suggests that fans who are curious about them should go to WCW.com for details. This is all a bit much to take in, let me tell you, and I’ve had to pause Psicosis’s entrance multiple times to write about all this nonsense, but now I’m ready to talk about actual wrestling that is actually happening in the ring, I promise. Disco and Psicosis fire fists at one another, but Psicosis takes him over with a headscissors and dropkicks him to the floor, then lands a baseball slide. Psicosis goes up and launches, scoring a crossbody to Disco on the floor. Psicosis continues his assault with a double-sledge, celebrates, and covers for only two. Disco finally dodges a corner charge and lands a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own, then goes into a chinlock. Disco runs into an elbow on his own corner charge, however, and is rana’d off the top rope for two. Disco gets a bit of purchase in the match again, but tries a double sledge and leaps into a wheel kick that looks gnarly and should get three, but only gets two. Psicosis goes up for a guillotine legdrop, but whiffs on it. Oh no, are they going to use Psicosis as a transitional champ to put the belt on Disco? GODDAMMIT, they use Psicosis as a transitional champ to put the belt on Disco as he hits a Chartbuster for three. Fuck off, WCW. You bums managing to book Psicosis into the ground is a true achievement in failure. Sid calls a tow truck and crusher service. “The car is in space twenty-two,” he says before cackling. Moses walks up and says that his match is next. The Outsiders walk down the arena stairs holding drinks and looking for their seats while the crowd goes truly nuts for the first time all night. They sit next to some ladies in low-cut dresses. Bobby Heenan walks over to cut an interview with them. Oh yeah, he is a broadcast journalist! He tries to get the scoops. Hall hits a HEY YO. The crowd applauds appreciatively. Hall says they were at a party down there and the crowd goes DOWN WHERE?! in an almost Pavlovian reaction. Hall has to check with Nash if he can actually indicate where “down where” is, then decides that he probably can’t and says DOWN HERE with his hand at his neck. It’s reminiscent of 2006 Shawn Michaels doing crotch chops around the middle of his ribcage. Heenan wants to know when they’ll be back. Nash points out that he’s retired before Hall does some shooty-shoot shoot bang shit by saying that Nash is working a retirement angle, but begging Hall to get in there and wrestle while he sits around, then claiming that it’s no fun in the locker room, so when it becomes fun again, he’ll be back. I mean, Hall’s way over, but I’m pretty sure the WCW locker room gets more fun when he’s out of it for good. Nash declares that WE’RE GETTIN’ THE BAND BACK TOGETHER, and no, no you are not. Don’t leave us with that ominous promise. Nash’s arrival, combined with the news that Russo and Ferrara have been hired, does have me excited for Nash to show up on one of the next couple of Thunder eps and pop off on commentary in the most unprofessional way possible, though. They already took Crush out of the KISS Demon get-up for whatever reason. I don’t care enough to look it up. I’m sure one of you reading this will tell me why they made that decision. Crush faces Sid in a match that must have happened on Coliseum Video in 1995, right? Anyway, this match has Crush hitting a stalling vertical suplex on Sid, so it’s not all bad or anything. It does have one of my least favorite transitions, though: One wrestler beats another wrestler up outside the ring, then tosses him into it and gets kicked coming through the ropes. Come on, now. Anyway, Crush hits a shitty piledriver, but Rick Steiner runs down and ref Charles Robinson lets he and Sid try to double up on Crush. They struggle to do so, but eventually, Crush gets distracted by beating up Steiner and Sid catches him from behind, then hits a spike powerbomb with Steiner’s help for three. Why is Charles Robinson allowed to ref Sid matches in kayfabe?! Kevin Nash sarcastically BOOs and then says LET’S BOO…BOOOO because nothing going on in front of him means anything at all. Jerry Flynn and Jimmy Hart walk out as Crush exits stage left; Flynn’s opposing Goldberg tonight. This week, Dellinger takes a startled step backward as Goldberg splits his forehead open with a door smash. In a cool little twist to Goldberg’s entrance, Sid stands in the background yelling at him as he makes his way into the Gorilla position: YOU’RE MINE GOLDBERG, I OWN YOU. Goldberg gives zero fucks about all that woofing, though. He’s too focused on killing a kickboxing geek. Knobbs and Morrus come out to the ring to watch Goldberg kill off their little buddy. Goldberg gets a bit too focused on talking shit to them after press slamming Flynn, and Flynn kicks him over the top rope and to the outside, where he takes a three-on-one beating. Morrus even drops a Savage Elbow off the apron, which makes this ringside beating way better than most ringside beatings. I will give Morrus credit for the one thing he does well. Speaking of credit, I credit Mickey Jay for figuring out how Flynn got anything going in this match and sending Knobbs and Morrus to the back. That’s good kayfabe reffin’. Meanwhile, Goldberg one-arm slams Flynn out of an armbar and then hits a spear and Jackhammer for three. It rules. He cuts a little promo after the match threatening Sid. Huh, their match at Havoc is for Sid’s United States Championship, which makes me think that Sid wins somehow, maybe? I can’t imagine that they put the U.S. Championship back on Goldberg in late 1999. Berlyn talks shit to Brad Armstrong in the back in German; Armstrong is like SPEAK ENGLISH IN AMERICA even though English is not the official language of this country, BA, you rube. Gene Okerlund interviews Harlem Heat in the aisle. They are glad to give Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus a tag title shot at Havoc. Boy, the tag division SUCKS. Booker challenges the Outsiders since a few of the fans are chanting for them, which is way more interesting to me than Harlem Heat vs. Knobbs and Morrus. Stevie says he’s not impressed by the Outsiders sitting with a “couple of hooches,” which gets an OOOH from the crowd; Scott Hall reacts in shock and then covers the ears of the hooch lady next to him, heh. That was good, but then Knobbs and Morrus jump Harlem Heat, and that’s less good. They brawl into the ring even though Harlem Heat are in street clothes. Is this a match? I don’t know, but Booker T. hitting an axe kick in slacks is pretty fun. Knobbs eventually batters both Heat members with a chair, including a headshot to Stevie. STOP TRYING TO PUSH THESE FIRST FAMILY BUMS. This beatdown goes on forever and sucks real bad. It's another Nitro Girls search segment. I don’t recognize the two ladies chosen for this contest. I get more skeptical each week that this search is going to bear any fruit, but I’m open to someone in one of the upcoming segments being, in retrospect, the obvious winner of this thing. Goldberg rolls his luggage out to his car, which is apparently untouched in spot 22. He gets in, starts the vehicle, and a car bomb goes off he backs out and leaves without incident. I betcha if Russo were booking this angle, a car bomb would have went off, though. Brad Armstrong versus Curt Hennig (w/Kendall Windham and Curly Bill) is our next contest. Bummer. Armstrong explodes with body slams and dropkicks as I guess the NLS/WTR feud sort of re-explodes?! Armstrong is a dope and wanders over to the ropes after Hennig bails; Hennig snaps his neck across the ropes and then takes over. Tony S. is confused about how a man from Minnesota can identify with Texas so strongly as Armstrong tries to come back, but attacked by Berlyn. He fends the erstwhile German off, but is quickly punched in the head by THE WALL, BROTHER while Kendall distracts the ref. Armstrong wobbles backward and right into a Perfect Plex for three. After the chaotic opening to this show, Rick Steiner showed up and things started to drag. Berlyn cranks Armstrong’s neck back after the match. Rey Misterio Jr. calls for his partner Billy Kidman, who is in the showers…with Torrie Wilson. Kidman catches up with Rey. I guess Torrie fell back out of love with Dopey Dave pretty quickly, huh? Sid gives his keys to Moses because the big man parked in a spot that the cops need access to; Sid asks Moses to move his car for him. I think we see where this is going. It’s going somewhere GLORIOUS. Juventud Guerrera wrestles Billy Kidman. Kidman traded in a dirty, ripped shirt for a clean white tee and got a girlfriend. This should be a lesson for a lot of dateless fellas who are bewildered about why they can’t find their match. Juvi and Kidman have wrestled about a billion times at this point, so I expect something at least decent. They do some counters and some more counters, but way less crisply than Rey and Malenko did at the start of this show. Juvi, who hits some chops and celebrates with his lascivious Juvi Driver taunt, gets dropped; Kidman hits the Juvi Driver taunt and receives a high-pitched SQUEEEEEEE for his troubles. Juvi spends a lot of this match swiveling his hips like prime Rick Rude, actually. I feel like this show has run out of steam, and ideally, a Kidman/Juvi match would bring some life back to the proceedings, but this is a paint-by-numbers bout with a bunch of counters of varying crispness done at a soporific pace. Also, Kidman is the babyface, but he suckers Juvi in on a handshake. That doesn’t quite make sense. Tony S. notes that Juvi is a bit full of himself, looks-wise, but that he is a handsome young man. Actually, the WCW Cruiserweight Division has guys who even I, a straight dude, understand why the ladies SQUEEEEEEEEE over. They have three or four handsome dudes in that division. Now, lady fans SQUEEEEEEEEEEing over Ricky and Robert, I’ll never understand. There’s an unnecessary commercial break in this thing, and when we come back, both men trade two counts. I suppose it’s my fault for expecting two guys who have wrestled one another a billion times to be able to have a good match in their sleep. Kidman comes to a full stop and struggles to make himself light so Juvi can hoist him up; then, when Psicosis comes out to hold Kidman in place so that Juvi can dive onto the latter guy, Psicosis blatantly shoves Kidman away before Juvi is close to landing. Yeah, Psicosis has stopped caring, and I can’t blame him. This match actually goes from “boring” to “sucky” in that series of spots. We get a close 2.9 for Kidman on a counter-dropkick; then, Juvi manages to switch and switch again with Kidman, then drop a neckbreaker. He takes forever to go up for a 450 and misses, then walks into a Sky High. Psicosis tries to get involved and is easily dispatched. Rey runs down and tries to get in the ring for some reason, even though Kidman is in total control, which allows Psicosis to effectively interfere and distract Kidman enough that Juvi reaches up and yanks Kidman off the top rope and into a Juvi Driver. Rey and Kidman clear the ring after the match, but that whole thing was nonsense. Man, everything about it sucked, and multiple spots looked awful, made no sense, or both. Moses finds an open spot for Sid’s car: parking spot #22. Moses gets out of the car loudly mumbling out a series of complaints about Sid's tyrannical nature: PARK MY CAR, MOSES. DO THIS, GET ME SHIRTS, GET ME PANTS. GOOD LORD. Ha! As Moses walks away, a tow truck pulls up. Uh-oh! Harley Race is the ring announcer for the Bret Hart/Chris Benoit match. Mike Tenay joins the booth, and yeah, it’s probably a good idea to get him in here instead of having Heenan trying to wisecrack his way through this match. Benoit and the Hitman embrace before the match as an OWEN chant starts. Alright, I’m ready for some tribute wrestling; let’s get to it. Oh, no, Heenan’s still here, making the occasional wisecrack. Oh, well. Hart and Benoit fight over a top wristlock, then over a hammerlock. The Hitman transitions into a side headlock, then gets shot into the ropes and wins a shoulderbreaker before running again and stopping short on a Benoit monkey flip attempt. Benoit kips up, and the men shake hands. They go to the Greco-Roman knuckle lock, and Benoit is able to power up from a disadvantageous position and land a knee, then twist Bret around and into a straitjacket before going back to the hammerlock and grounding Bret. Ah, a wrestling match with wrestling holds. How refreshing! Benoit and Bret continue to reverse holds, with Benoit using his superior striking ability to keep the upper hand where he can, but Bret is able to work out of a hammerlock and land a side Russian. He punches Benoit backward into the corner when Benoit gets to standing, then snap mares Benoit out of the corner and locks on a side headlock. What I like about this is that both guys work their holds and work for position constantly. It feels like an actual, you know, wrestling contest. Benoit gets back to his feet, but he struggles to do much against Bret when one or both of them are running; he punches his way out of the headlock, but then runs himself right into a knee lift. Bret drops a leg, then stands Benoit up in the corner and lands a shot to the gut and a couple of lifters. He uses headbutts and punches, but maybe standing and striking with Benoit is a bad idea. Benoit fires back with chops, so Bret says Fuck all that and yanks Benoit into a DDT, then goes up and lands a second-rope elbow for two. Bret goes back to work and shoots Benoit into the ropes, but Benoit is able to grab Bret’s knee when Bret tries another knee lift and roll through into first a pinfall attempt and then an ugly-looking Walls of Jericho as the Hitman desperately kicks out. Bret reaches out and grabs the bottom rope to break the hold. Benoit shoots Bret in and gets one on a back body drop; he then lands a back breaker and gets two. Benoit kicks Bret and sends him to ringside as we go to break. Back from break, Benoit is still in control; he lands an elbowdrop for two, but tries that again and whiffs. Bret is quickly up; he grabs Benoit’s legs and drops a headbutt into Benoit’s stomach, then lands a vertical suplex for two. Bret goes into a chinlock, but doesn’t think it’s doing much damage and transitions into a backbreaker of his own after only a few seconds. Bret targets Benoit’s back with stomps; Benoit tumbles outside, and Bret follows and rams Benoit’s lower lumbar into the apron. Bret deposits Benoit back into the ring and continues to methodically whale away at him with lifters. He shoots Benoit in and tries to lift him into another backbreaker, but Benoit spins around and hoists Bret up in a Tombstone; he lands it, but only gets two. Benoit next tries a Northern Lights with a bridge, but only scores another two count. He goes back to his best tool – strikes – and then whips Bret into the ropes and lands a knee lift of his own on the rebound for two. Benoit lands headbutts and a vicious chop in the corner, then tries another whip, but gets nothing but air on a dropkick attempt. Bret lands one elbow to Benoit’s face, then a second. He rips off a nasty back suplex on Benoit for 2.8. The Hitman backs Benoit against the ropes and lands a series of overhand rights and lifters that knock Benoit to the mat. He stands Benoit up and takes off into the ropes on the opposite side, but a wobbly Benoit is able to duck Hart’s splash attempt. Hart falls to the floor, and Benoit follows with a suicide dive as we go into a second break. We come back to Bret standing over Benoit as Benoit lays on the apron. Well, I wish we could have seen the transition to get to that point. Bret tries to bring Benoit back in with a vertical suplex, but Benoit hops behind and rolls Bret up for two, then is rolled up in turn for two more. Bret’s up first and lands a headbutt, then follows Benoit into the corner as Benoit heads for safety and applies a stomp and a boot against Benoit’s throat. Bret brings Benoit out from the corner and tries one lifter too many; Benoit hooks Bret’s arm and backslides him for two, but he’s the worse for wear and takes a number of shots to the small of his back when Bret makes it to his feet first. Bret hooks Benoit for a vertical suplex, and Benoit is able to finagle a small package for two, but the Hitman is up first again and lays in a couple of boots, then lands a swinging neckbreaker for two. Bret picks up the intensity a bit with a hard whip into the corner, an inverted atomic drop, and a superplex attempt. I say “attempt” because Benoit headbutts his way out of the last of those, then tries to quickly go for a diving headbutt. Bret stuffs it with a fist to the dome, then goes up and completes the superplex; he can’t make a cover, though, and we get a standing ten count. Bret gets to his feet and, rather than covering, tries a Sharpshooter. Benoit grabs the Hitman’s left arm as Hart uses it to twist Benoit’s legs and transitions into a Crippler Crossface, then attempts to swivel around and alter their positioning so that Bret can’t reach the ropes. He moves a bit and makes it harder for Hart to get to the bottom rope, but he doesn’t have the weight or leverage to move him far enough away to keep him from breaking it. Benoit lands three rolling verticals, and then calls for the diving headbutt to light boos, actually. Benoit goes up and drills it, but since it also hurts the giver of the move (unless you’re Bam Bam), Benoit takes an extra couple seconds to cover and only gets two. Benoit lands a back suplex of his own, but he moves like he’s both tired and somewhat out of ideas (kayfabe-wise, of course). A LET’S GO BRET chant breaks out. Benoit tries an Irish whip, but Bret stuffs it and lands a back elbow. The Hitman sticks Benoit with a piledriver, but Benoit rolls toward the ropes after taking it and is able to get a boot on one of them when Bret follows to cover. Bret looks for another whip to the corner; he gets it, and Benoit hits chest first, but when Bret tries a back suplex, Benoit flips out of it and lands a flurry of chops. Benoit tries his own whip to the corner and charges into a boot. Bret charges out of the corner and Benoit ducks Hart and hits two rolling Germans. Hart elbows out of the third, and when Benoit tries again, Bret flips around and clubs his way out of a Benoit Northern Lights attempt. Bret tries to pick Benoit up for a move, maybe a suplex, but Benoit grabs the arm and tries to snap on a Crippler Crossface. Bret first blocks Benoit’s ability to hook the move on by placing his leg between Benoit’s legs and taking away Benoit’s ability to leverage him to the mat; then, he maneuvers Benoit around and is able to rip his arm away and use it to lock on a Sharpshooter, then drag Benoit back toward the center of the ring. Benoit has no choice but to tap out. Bret points to the heavens as the crowd applauds, then shows the bullhorns to the crowd and hugs Benoit. That match isn’t a great match, I wouldn’t say. It took a bit long to ratchet up in intensity, and I think the feeling out process, while very good, maybe needed to give way to a more intense escalation maybe a minute or two earlier. It also has a commercial break that obscured a match transition, dammit, I hate that. But it’s very good, and it has two massive things working for it: 1) It’s an Owen tribute match that, other than Heenan being bad on commentary, is respectfully presented by WCW, and 2) it went three segments and had a clean finish, which is damned near unheard of in Nitro-era WCW. And I guess there's a 3) in that this match happens on the same episode that it's announced that Vince "ten-minute matches are too long and boring for the average American wrestling fan" Russo is about to make his way into the company. Anyway, really good stuff! I don’t want to take away from the goodness of the match, of which there is much, by damning it for not being great. When we come back, Gene Okerlund is in the ring to interview Ric Flair. Oh, and Hulk Hogan. This sounds like hell. Hogan sells a knee injury, and I realize that this is the first time that Flair and Hogan have been on this show, and that Sting hasn’t been seen at all yet tonight. Huh. They cut mediocre twin promos on DDP, the Total Package (who Flair disrespectfully continues to call “Luger” in kayfabe/Keeps forgetting not to call “Luger” IRL), and Sting. Hogan keeps saying “damn” to try and be edgy. Oh, and the “train/prayers/kick ass” thing. Embarrassing. Sid walks out to spot number twenty-two in the parking lot, sees that Goldberg's car is gone, and snarls YEAHHHH, I GOT HIM NOW, then giggles. Oh, poor, poor Sid. You sad fool. Hey, they shoot a close-up of Kimberly from the side as she watched Page come out for his match, and she doesn’t even look like Kimberly. I think she got some bad cheek fillers. Unnecessary, Kim, you already looked incredible. DDP faces Buff Bagwell in a battle between two guys who can’t help but do garbage mic work before their matches. Thanks, fellas, I love getting anti-hyped for a match. The crowd, on the other hand, loves babyface Buff because they’re idiots. Anyway, these fellas immediately initiate an obligabrawl, then do that one transition that I hate when Buff tosses Page back in the ring and follows after kicking his ass. Buff gets tagged in the nuts while punching DDP in the corner, and then Page hits an ugly-looking neckbreaker; I’m not sure Buff knew what sort of bump he was supposed to take, and Page sort of pulled off something that could conceivably be hurty, but I don’t know if that was his original idea for the spot. Page hits a run of offense, including a Scumbag Elbow for two. DDP slaps on a sleeper in the middle of the ring; Buff fights up before his arm falls a third time and comes back on Page with a series of punches, an inverted atomic drop, and a swinging neckbreaker. He looks for a Blockbuster, and Page does a counter where he holds onto the ropes and Buff is unable to yank him downward. Page looks for a Diamond Cutter; Bagwell shoves Page away and tries to club DDP on the rebound, but Page floats over and lands a Diamond Cutter for three. I did think the finish was quite creative. Tony S. talks about a Seven promo that I guess we didn’t get to see in this Network version of the show while Lex Luger the Total Package comes to the ring and poses. Unfortunately, for him, he’s only the second most physically impressive specimen in the ring because Elizabeth is standing right next to him. Heenan makes essentially the same joke on commentary, so I condemn myself. His tag team partner, Sting, comes out to, um, a pop. Their opponents are Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan. These crowds don’t want to boo Flair or Sting, are open to booing Luger, and generally cheer Hogan for reasons that baffle me. In other words, you get a lot of muted reactions when these four are in the ring together because crowds struggle to know how to react. Luger Package and Sting jump their opponents at the bell, and the match spills outside, there’s an obligabrawl between Hogan and Sting, etc. Honestly, I don’t care about any of this, and it’s the same shit every time anyway. Sting and Luger have a lot of value, and so does Flair if deployed in the right way, but these guys all clogging up the main event scene and doing a bunch of nonsense that is generally the same as the stuff they always do does nothing for me. The match eventually becomes an ordered affair; Sting turns around a series of Flair chops and beats Flair down…to a pop. Sting’s really got to stop agreeing to do whatever the booking committee asks him to do. Flair plays FIP for a bit. Flair went from babyface to crazed heel to babyface again in the first nine months of 1999. Boy, do people blame Vince Russo for a lot of stuff that really originated months earlier. Luger went from babyface to heel on the first Nitro of 1999, then turned face again after he came back from injury and aligned with babyface Sting before turning heel again for real and for true at Fall Brawl. Yikes. This match is a nondescript affair, if you haven’t guessed. I’ll just tell you the finish. The finish: Hogan drops the leg on Sting for three. Sid accosts Moses and asks where the heck poor old Moses parked his car. Moses informs him that he parked it in spot twenty-two. Sid once again kills it on his line delivery, and I’ll leave it to him to share his shock and concern in his own words: TWENTY-TWO?! TWENTY-TWO—OH MAN! OH MAN! GOLDBERG, YOU IDIOT! OH GEEZ! GOLDBERG! **kicks crumpled ball of metal that used to be his car** WHERE ARE YOU?! WHY ME?! WHY ME?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!?! Remember when Sid was bumming me out with all the run-ins and powerbombing of cruisers? He was just doing that to remind me that even when things seem at their lowest, good times are ahead. Sid is a philosopher. He’s a wrestling philosopher. (Also, I love that he thinks Goldberg fucked up his car again, but Goldberg had nothing to do with it this week. Sid hoisted himself by his own goofy petard.) Bret vs. Benoit and Sid being a goofball show that pro wrestling can be good in many ways, even ways that are diametrically opposed in how they achieve goodness. Also, Bret, Benoit, and Sid really saved this show from being a total dumpster fire (give some credit to Goldberg, too, actually). 2 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

WCW anglicized the names of most (all?) of the wrestlers with Mexican heritage by the end of 1997.

And this match is what I love the most about Baba. His best quality is being the straight man in the middle of a bunch of wacky nonsense. The way he keeps a straight face as he defeats every goofy trick the heels have for him is FANTASTIC. This match made me genuinely laugh multiple times, and Baba being a stoic Roadrunner to the Wile E. Coyote act that the heels put on was a massive part of that.

Aw, man, math? OK, I give up on this one. But you know, I think Comcast would be hard-pressed to show the straightforward math on buying NBA rights to put a bunch of games; I doubt that it will drive Peacock subs or new Comcast cable/internet subs to make up for the cost of the contract, but I also think it gives Comcast leverage with WBD in negotiations over subscriber fees and makes future competition for NBA rights even more untenable for competitors who only own cable channels and who aren't, like Amazon or Comcast, able to leverage endless cash to pay for sports league rights that won't be worth the money laid out for them. There are concerns immediately beyond "how much advertising can we sell to offset what we paid for these rights" that these rights buyers are trying to figure out. And I think WBD might calculate things in a not-too-different way. I don't think that they're going to look at spending 100M to make 13M as the only part of their calculus...maybe not even the major part of their calculus. They're not in the position that FOX was with WWE, in that WBD has a tangle with Comcast coming up over the subscriber value of their channel and FOX is free over an antenna. But feel free to tag me when AEW makes 75M/yr or less when re-upping with WBD because I obviously could be (will be?) wrong.

I knew it was Roland-Garros, but still wrote U.S. Open like a doofus. And to paraphrase the Hulkster, Monica Seles rules, Steffi Graf drools! (I agree with you about the level of advertiser making a massive difference, but I still think 100M/yr+ for AEW is a realistic and even likely possibility considering WBD's attempts to keep subscriber fees up.)

w/r/t AEW doubling their rights fees with WBD, the U.S. Open tripled their rights fees with WBD just days ago: https://www.img.com/sports/our-news/wbd-triples-us-french-open-media-rights-value-in-blockbuster-deal#:~:text=Discovery will take over as,till 2034%2C SportBusiness Media understands. That still leaves AEW a target for cancellation as Stef said, but I think it's likely that AEW doubles or even triples it's rights fees as WBD tries to show strength and fend off Comcast and other cable providers trying to cut their per-subscriber fees for TNT.

The music is pretty good, particularly the end theme. Love SMW, but wouldn't agree. When it comes to 2D Mario, I prefer both SMB3 and Super Mario Bros. Wonder. It's sort of like picking your favorite child, though. 2D Metroid definitely got better with each entry. I even like Metroid 2 on the Game Boy in the context of when it was made (of course, the modern remake is excellent).

YIKES He was not good. My hero (?!) Vince Russo had Hogan all fucked up on that call. I love it. I love writing these, and I'm glad that you enjoy reading them! Though with the fall coming up, the posting schedule's going to get a lot more spotty, unfortunately...

Alright, last week I finished up all the weekly challenges on Nintendo World Championships: NES Edition with at least an A, and I only need to get one more pin (for finishing the gold challenge at least three times) and do the Legendary Run at some point. Here are my thoughts on the NES games in this package after having speed run them a bunch (and preparing to do more of it to improve my times and participate in the weekly world challenges for the foreseeable future): Super Mario Bros. - Still one of the great all-time platformers, and it's nearly forty years old. Going from Pitfall or even Donkey Kong to this must have been akin to playing something like GTA III after having played through years of attempts at open-world 3D games (including Rockstar/DMA Design's own Body Harvest on N64). Like, what a leap for the genre. Super Mario Bros. 2 (USA) - I remember how disappointed I was when I played this game as a kid. Learning that it was another game entirely with the Mario cast plonked into it made a lot of sense because at that point in time, 2D Mario games didn't stink, and this game stunk bad. It still does. At least it gave us Birdo, Mouser, Wart, and playable Peach and Toad! And I guess it gave us the trope that Luigi can jump farther, but is a bit harder to control, which really became fun in the 3D games (clearing Galaxy with Luigi is the most fun that that game ever gets). But otherwise, what a stinkfest. Super Mario Bros. 2 (JPN)/The Lost Levels - The wind effects are a neat idea, but I think there was only one challenge in NWC that included them. Otherwise, it's a perfectly fine sequel that just doesn't hit the same as the first game did. Super Mario Bros. 3 - Still the greatest 2D platformer of all time, don't @ me with mentions of Braid or Super Meat Boy or whatever inferior 2D platformer people pretend is better than this one. The Legend of Zelda - Link turns like a station wagon that's got bricks for wheels. Good game, but doing speed runs of chunks of it is not the most fun experience. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link - Here's the first game on this list that is more fun as a series of segmented challenges than it is as a full game. I played some of it on my 3DS after playing through the challenges and playing without a guide is an irritating and pointless experience, as it was for many '80s action-adventure or RPG games. But in chunks? It's incredibly fun! The combat, a thing I hated so much as a kid who never got very far in the game, is genuinely engaging and varied. It's basically 2D Dark Souls, and maybe I'd like Souls-like games better in playable challenge chunks than I do as full adventures. Metroid - This is also more fun in playable chunks, mostly because I don't want to make my own map. I don't think I liked a 2D Metroid, like liked it, I mean, until Fusion. From that point on, the series really got its hooks in me when it was in 2D. As a series of short timed challenges, though, you can definitely see why this gameplay was good enough to sustain the (very slow) growth and (relatively tiny) rabid fandom for this series. Also, Samus is just so cool, even as a little eight-bit figure. Samus with her helmet off is my current player image that I set for this game! Donkey Kong - Where's the pie factory?! Stupid RAM limits on NES carts. Anyway, this is a legendary game that doesn't really hold up and that's not really worth playing anymore (unless you're drinking a beer at a barcade and just havin' fun) if you can get your hands on a copy of DK '94. Kid Icarus - There may not be a wider gulf for me between a Nintendo character that I like a ton and the quality of his games. Poor Pit. This game isn't very good at all, and neither is the Game Boy game, and frankly, I hated the 3DS game (the rail shooter stuff was fun, but the on-ground segments were just awful to play). Make a truly good Kid Icarus game, Nintendo! It's been almost forty years! Excitebike - I don't think I've ever spent more time with Excitebike than I have until I played this game. You know what? Excitebike is fantastic. Why haven't I played more Excitebike? The Excitebike challenges in NWC made me put Excitebike 64 on my N64 collection list. Ice Climber - Supertrash. Would rather play Pac-Man on Atari 2600 than this. Balloon Fight - I refuse to tarnish the name of the late, great Satoru Iwata, may he rest in peace. Nintendo's been run by a bunch of bankers and financiers instead of a creative since his death, and while that hasn't harmed the quality of their output as of 2024, I still have much respect for Iwata and the fact that he loved video games as an art, and not just as a product to sell. I will say this for Balloon Fight: First, I liked it more than I ever have playing it in bite-sized challenges (though that's pretty much the game itself in full). Second, back in the days that Gameworks was a thing, they had a game called Sky Pirates. You'd get in a seat and play against three other people, moving the seat (and yourself) up and down on a vertical axis to try and pop the other players' balloons the most. That game was INCREDIBLY fun, and it was just a more interactive Balloon Fight. Therefore, I declare Balloon Fight to be an ultimately good game and Iwata's genius to know few bounds, even if the WiiU was a terrible mistake and I am not a huge fan of the 3DS either. Kirby's Adventure - I can't think of a bad Kirby game. Even the ones that I like less have neat art design. I don't like playing this game in speedrun mode because, frankly, I don't enjoy trying to get de-powered Kirby going at a clip quick enough to get these challenges done at an S-rank time. It's a good game, but it's not a good speedrun game.

I've heard him tell this story, and I think his approach makes perfect sense as a guy touring the world as NWA champion and making a bunch of untelevised title defenses. I'm not sure it makes so much sense when he's working on weekly television in the era where cable television is widely adopted. Well, that makes more sense. His unmasking just seemed to come out of nowhere without that context. Have you heard this apparently previously unreleased interview that Hogan did after BatB 2000? I was going to pop it into the thread when I got there, but this seems like a reasonable place to put it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzskCeAwV_E I feel slightly better about being a pro wrestling fan when I look at reality television. It's nice that pro wrestling is somehow the programming type with more class for once! I sometimes yell WHY ME?!?! in mock frustration like Sid is probably just about to do on the next Nitro, which I cannot tell you how much it excites me!

Thunder Interlude – show number eighty-two – 30 September 1999 "The WCW Gang sheds another promising wrestler, barely stays on the right side of the WOO ledger" Let’s Thunder, and you know what, this show needs a new opening badly…They still have the HOLLYWOOD sign and nWo Nash and Hogan all up in the video… After a little bit of chatter from the commentary desk, Juventud Guerrera comes to the ring as part of a trios tag match…He’s teaming with La Parka and an unmasked Psicosis…Silver King and Villanos IV and V are their opponent!...Hey, Villano IV was last seen as Kanyon and Raven were spiking him into the mat (Nitro Show #158)…Tenay mentions only that Kanyon was a part of that match since Raven’s in E-C-W, E-C-W now…La Parka dances and gets a pop…PUSH LA PARKA, YOU IDIOTS…WCW has all this talent that they can’t be bothered to properly push who should be part of a vibrant, interesting midcard…They gave Parka a little storyline feud against Disco awhile ago and that was it for him… Parka has awesome physical charisma and gets the crowd laughing as he makes fun of the Villanos just by strutting…Psicosis and Juvi nicely combine on a tag and a Juvi springboard missile dropkick…I’m going to keep complaining…The tag titles would be better served on a Freebird-rule using trio of Chavo Jr., Psicosis, and Juvi than they are on Harlem Heat…This is a solid opener…I wouldn’t call it a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER as the crowd has been conditioned not to care about any cruiserweight who isn’t Rey, Kidman, or Eddy…I’m not sure a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER is possible anymore here in WCW unless at least one of those guys is involved… Lord knows the men in the ring work hard to engage the crowd, though…Lots of nice, impactful moves and fun taunting…To their credit, they do work the crowd into things by the end…La Parka is a big part of that, but the heels are scummy enough that the crowd is into the finish…That, and they hit a bunch of dives to build up to a Juvi Driver/Guillotine Legdrop that gives Psicosis’s team the pinfall victory…Solid stuff… Power Plant student Adrian Byrd gets a run-out for a squashin’, and the person doing the squashin’ is Norman Smiley!...Byrd actually lands a dropkick and some stomps to start…No offense, but ain’t nobody here to see all that…Smiley quickly lands a swinging slam and hits a Big Wiggle…Yep, that’s what we’re here to see...Byrd gets too much damn offense in…This is far too competitive for my taste…We want to see dancing and weird European suplexes and holds, my dude…Pack that all into two minutes or so and we’re good…Instead, this match sort of stinks because Byrd is green as grass…Smiley finally locks a Norman Conquest on for the victory… Mona cuts an interview with Gene Okerlund in the aisle…She gets a nice pop here in Chattanooga…I think it’s definitely in part because of her work and her ability to cleanly hit high spots, but also as an admission of our baser natures, it’s the dress…The dress has got me all fucked up…She’s fine as a promo, but whoever came up with the Molly Holly idea for her in the WWF got it spot on because she’s got a “golly gee shucks, nice young Midwestern woman” thing going on that made the whole Molly Holly gimmick perfect for her… Brandi Alexander jumps Mona in the aisle and goes to town on her…This match was supposed to happen later tonight, but Mickey Jay comes out here and signals for that match to start now…Mona fights from underneath while Alexander mostly stomps and chokes and pulls hair...And nostrils…Mona scores a couple of flash pinfall attempts, but mostly gets beaten up…Mona comes back and tries an Indian Deathlock/chinlock combo, but Alexander gets to the ropes…Mona pulls a Steve Austin and lands a Thesz Press, then bashes Alexander’s face against the mat rather than simply throwing punches…Mona tries a series of slams and suplexes, but can only get two…Stomps, buckle bonks, handspring elbow, but still no three count for Mona…Mona sits Alexander up top and drills a top-rope Frankensteiner that finally does get three…WCW should build a Thunder-specific women’s division and make this show feel special in some small way… A pre-Shark Boy Dean Roll comes to the ring for a match against, uh, Frankie Lancaster…I assume that Sid is somewhere in the building…Frankie Lancaster looks like if Sam Elliott’s half-brother decided to juice up and become a pro wrestler…Larry Z. is fixated on the multiple bottles worth of baby oil that Lancaster used for this television appearance…I don’t blame him because Lancaster looks a bit ridiculous!...Ha, it’s not Sid, but Scott Norton (!!) who comes out here…I was thinking that we’d seen the last of ol’ Flapjack on our watch…Just in case this is the last time, WCW never did get the most out of him…And maybe I’m one of the few people (only person?) around here who enjoys mid-‘90s Ice Train, but I thought that Fire & Ice had some real potential as a team and was broken up after only about a month for no good reason that I could tell…Those bomb-fests they had against the Steiners were a lot of fun...Anyway, Norton murks these fellas and hands out powerbombs…I guess if Sid did it, Norton can do it, too…Norton grabs a mic and says that if Sid got Goldberg’s attention by doing this, Norton wants Goldberg’s immediate attention in the ring…Cool, I guess Goldberg’ll send Norton on his way out of the company… Goldberg comes to the ring for an interview with Gene Okerlund…He accepts Norton’s challenge for later tonight… Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) tag up against Lord Steven Regal and Squire Dave Taylor (w/Fit Finlay [!!!])…Good to see Finlay up and about…And what a sparkly shirt he’s got on, too…Regal takes a Pit Stop and wobbles around, trying not to blow chunks…Heh, Regal finding ways to make Brian Knobbs interesting in 1999, even while Regal is drugged out of his gourd…What a talent…See, Taylor takes a Pit Stop and he reacts like whatever so that he can move on to the next spot…If you’re wrestling a cartoon character like Knobbs, you gotta roll with it and be a cartoon yourself…Finlay rips a chair away from Jimmy Hart, and security runs out, and, uh, ejects only Finlay…I guess Hart’s manager’s license gives him more leeway or something… Meanwhile, Taylor smacks Knobbs with his flagpole…Back in the ring, Taylor headscissors Regal up and over into a standing senton on Knobbs…Such a complex setup for a simple senton splash…Knobbs is the guy in peril in this thing…This control segment with Knobbs being too broken down to even sell very well goes on way too long…He finally gets a hot tag to Morrus…The match immediately breaks down…Knobbs lands a pumphandle slam on Taylor…Regal takes Knobbs out, but Morrus sees his chance, goes up top, and lands a No Laughing Matter on Taylor for three while Regal is distracted…DUD… Gene Okerlund interviews the Revolution in the ring…Shane has to coax the other three guys to come to the ring with him…Douglas walks out pretty much alone, while the other three members hang back and come out together…Saturn doesn’t like that Douglas is taking shortcuts, and if he doesn’t want to stick to the agreed-upon “clean athletics” approach that they all agreed upon the first time around, he says that Shane can get to walking…Shane Douglas, huh, apologizes…I keep waiting for him to do something to immediately break his promise, but no…There’s no tossing anyone through metaphorical barber shop windows…Maybe Douglas is just too outnumbered to do anything right now… *sigh*, Okay, let’s get this Coach Buzz Stern thing over and done with…He escorts Luther Biggs to the ring…Biggs is essentially playing the gimmick of a portly goofball, and I think to myself that if Louie Spicolli were alive, he might be able to get this somewhat over if he were in the Luther Biggs role…Maybe…Bobby Eaton comes to the top of the ramp, looking perturbed…From wrestling the Fantastics and Rock ‘n Rolls to this?!...Biggs wins a hip toss and celebrates…This match is built around Stern coaching his doofus student against a veteran who should probably be doing better against this guy, but is apparently over-the-hill and struggling…This whole thing belongs on Saturday Night, not Thunder…Thunder could be consistently very good if only someone cared about it…It’s not like WCW doesn’t have the talent to make this a must-see show…They don’t even have to run every star out on each Thunder…Just have, like one or two stars show up to continue major angles and then primarily use Thunder to build midcard angles…Stern fucks up the timing on a run-in, I think…After Stern and Biggs bonk one another, the ref counts two and not three on an Eaton neckbreaker and pin…He calls for the bell anyway as Stern attacks first Eaton, then Biggs with a full nelson…Oh man, this is some dreadful television… Brad Armstrong is out here to face Horace Hogan, who I sorta forgot existed…We’re a long ways away from Flock Horace…Armstrong’s a solid worker and Horace always tries, but this is pretty much Dullsville…Tenay announces a match for Halloween Havoc while this borefest drags on…The Total Package/Bret Hart seems like bad booking…Both guys probably need a win after their re-debuts and Luger’s re-packaging…Horace has no B-Teamer or Flock help anymore, so he’s basically food…He misses a corner charge, and Armstrong hits a floatover Side Russian for three off the mistake… Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman are actually over, and it’s nice to have wrestlers like that on Thunder…Their opponents: Kendall Windham and Curly Bill (w/Curt Hennig)…What a vile tag team…Looking forward to these last three guys disappearing from TV so we can get more time for Three Count, the Jung Dragons, the Natural Born Thrillers (except for that bum Shawn Stasiak), and so forth…Let me get excited about a bunch of young talent that unfortunately doesn’t really pan out in the end…Though I contend that Helms, Palumbo, and Jindrak are bigger stars in the United States if WCW lives on under the Turner umbrella and Bischoff doesn't get put in charge of it again… Rey and Kidman should probably be your tag champs sooner rather than later…Harlem Heat is definitely over as a babyface team, but it’s time for Booker to move on…Rey does some nice bumping for these two stiffs from the WTRs…Hell, Curly Bill lands a stalling vertical…It’s impossible to look bad if you’re hitting someone with a stalling vertical…Rey is a miracle worker…He makes a comeback, springboard dropkicks Bill, and gets the hot tag in to Kidman…Windham cuts off Kidman’s comeback by barging into him…Kidman takes a beating and takes over as FIP…A Kidman bulldog causes a second hot tag segment…Kidman is able to help Rey a bit and keep him from falling to the numbers game as happened to him earlier in the match…Bill is able to go up for a top-rope attempt on Kidman after he drops him…Rey, who took out Windham with a dropkick, watches as Kidman gets up and crotches the very slow Bill on the top, then has Kidman lift him into a top-rope Frankensteiner position…He hits it and covers for three… Cagematch tells me that this is indeed the end of the line for Scott Norton in WCW…Man, the heady days of 1995 Nitro seem so long ago…Pre-nWo Nitro was so exciting, livid with promise and possibilities…And now a lot of those guys with promise who offered such tantalizing possibilities in those early days have left or are soon to leave WCW (Giant, Chris Jericho, the future Radicalz, and now Norton himself)…Bummer, man…These fellas just punch each other in the center of the ring to start until Goldberg lands a short right that sends Norton spilling over the top and to the floor…That ruled, man…That ruled hard…They have an obligatory ringside brawl in which they just try to clobber one another…Goldberg eats the post a couple of times, but whatever, he eats posts for breakfast… There’s this narrative that I hear passed around sometimes that crowds were sick of Goldberg by this point in his run…NOPE…Chattanooga loves seeing this guy eat a few posts, then decide to forearm Norton and return the damage…I’m not sick of it either, honestly…No offense to John Cena, who I’m a fan of, but Goldberg feels like the last true top-tier star that American pro wrestling has made…Cena’s great, but IMO, he’s at the top of the second tier and Goldberg’s toward the bottom of the first tier when it comes to American pro wrestling stars…Anyway these big dudes crash into one another back in the ring…They get up and run the ropes, but Norton whiffs on his lariat and Goldberg lands a spear on the rebound…Goldberg sells that his shoulder is injured, but that’s not stopping him from hoisting Norton up for a Jackhammer and a three-count…I enjoyed this…That’s a nice way to go out for Norton… This show mostly stunk once we got past the trios tag opener, but they ran some stars out here in the last couple of matches and brought this show back from the depths and to a WOO….

Show #208 – 27 September 1999 “The one in which Sid makes up for weeks of ruining matches with some clutch dialogue delivery in his segments” We’re almost into October here in WCW, and we’re back in Atlanta, but not at the Georgia Dome. We’re at the Thrashers and Hawks’s new arena, the former-Philips-now-State-Farm Arena. Hogan gets out of a limo and a bunch of kids dressed in Hogan gear come from nowhere and flood the limo. You know what’s going to happen next, but it’s still funny that Sting sneaks up from behind and in a kiddie voice says, “Hey Hogan, can I have your autograph too, huh, huh?” and apparently, it tricks Hogan, who ends up casually turning around and taking an attack to his head and his knee. We go from there into the regular opening and then the recap, in a reverse of the typical order of those things for the past few weeks. The desk hypes the show. Heenan is confused about who exactly is wrestling Psicosis tonight. He shows off his Photoshop skills by presenting a picture of a bald Kidman. Mike Tenay’s outside to interview Hogan, who blows him off because he’s too busy selling a knee injury. Hogan decides that he’ll forgo an ambulance ride to the hospital and stick it out tonight. Suddenly, we cut to Sting in the back, who is disappointed that he didn’t send Hogan to the hospital. Even more suddenly, we cut back to the arena, where Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Onoo) makes his way to the ring. Sign: THE CAT LIVES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD (NO, REALLY). OK, that made me laugh. The Cat gets a mic and says that even though this is his hometown, he’ll still whoop everybody in here because they suck. He suggests that maybe some of the ladies in the crowd have the stature to be effective offensive linespeople for the Atlanta Falcons, and then in a MEAN camera cut, they show one of the larger young ladies in the crowd. UNCALLED FOR, Leathers! Miller demands a title shot and calls out Sting, declaring that he won’t leave until he gets a title shot. I assume he’s about to get Sid instead, but no, he gets Chris Benoit. Miller grabs a mic again and says that he guesses he’s just going to have to work his way to the world title from the bottom, then turns around into a series of chops. Miller is wearing leopard-print tights with GODFATHER written on the seat; truly amazing. If we’re going to have a joke secondary champ in this company, let’s make it Ernest Miller instead of Lenny Lane, please. Miller bails runs around the ring, gets back in the ring, begs off, and gets kicked. The Cat is able to lure Benoit in and bonk him into the corner, then hit a head kick from the ground. Miller lands a standing side kick and chokes Benoit with his foot a whole lot. The Cat lands a beal, thrusts his hips, and goes back to a choke. I love the Cat, but Chris Benoit probably shouldn’t be selling for him for an extended amount of time. Benoit leaps over on a rope run and tries a sunset flip; the Cat thinks he’s chopped his way out of it, but goes over for two and has to get back on top with another stomp. The Cat continues to control, hits a pelvis-thrusting elbow, no moonwalking, for two; then, he dumps Benoit to ringside so Onoo can kick him. Miller follows Benoit outside after that, but his whip into the guardrail is reversed. Still, he comes back with a cup of liquid to the eyes and some strikes and chokes. Back in the ring, the Cat breaks a choke and puts on a headlock that he uses the ropes to get leverage upon. Benoit fights back to his feet, hits a chop, and then gets his eyes raked. Miller shoots Benoit chest-first into the corner, then tries a Feliner as Benoit comes back out of the corner, but Benoit ducks it and lands a lariat. Onoo jumps in the ring and hops on Benoit’s back as Miller goes for the ruby slipper; Miller just tries to clock Benoit in the head with it, but Benoit shifts and Onoo takes the blow. Benoit follows up with a release German, a diving headbutt, and a Crippler Crossface in short order for the victory. Miller’s not very interesting in heel control and Benoit is supposed to be able to hang with Sting, so this match was laid out completely incorrectly. Hype video: Sid kills Sting, The Public Enemy, and a bunch of cruiserweights. Vampiro stalks out alone to face Buff Bagwell. Buff strips off his overalls and a certain portion of the crowd shrieks. Bagwell grabs a mic before the match and does some boilerplate babyface nonsense talking. The match these two have is sloppy, but watchable, as you’d expect. Buff is in control for most of this. Some guy holds up a SUCK ME, BEAUTIFUL sign for some reason. This is a very late ‘90s wrestling segment. Who is the ref? It’s a bald dude with a goatee who I don’t recognize. Is that Slick Johnson, maybe? If it is, I guess they got him something to do after that dreadful nWo ref nonsense from a year ago. Anyway, after a lot of Bagwell domination, Vampiro gets some control, but Buff fights up from a headlock. Vampiro hits a slam and a diving lariat, but only for two. He tries a guillotine legdrop next, but whiffs. Buff hits a pair of atomic drops, one inverted and one not, then lands a crossbody, but walks into an enziguri. Vampiro sits Buff on the top rope and tries a superplex, but Buff front suplexes his way out of it and hits a Blockbuster, as is the way of babyfaces who use top-rope finishes – we just saw this exact finish in a Booker T. match, if I recall. HAHAHA, so the desk does some talking, and then I am reasonably sure that it is SEVEN who cuts in. Seven: TONYYYYYY. Tony S.: WHAT?! Then, we get a short vignette in which we see a window and some clouds and I’m suddenly reminded that Dustin Rhodes spent a bunch of time as Black Reign in the aughts. Oh my goodness, the post-9/11 aughts are so weird. Anyway, this is going to end up offering viewers some amazingly bad vignette work that I am totally here for. Semi-legendary hype video: Lex Luger is dead! No, seriously, it’s Luger in a coffin, and then his spirit leaves his body and is reborn. Also Ms. Elizabeth is there to bury the old Lex and welcome THE TOTAL PACKAGE. All hail the Total Package! I love Lex’s theme music from his TTP era. Ms. Elizabeth comes out here live on TV after the video ends and throws off her mourning clothing to reveal herself wearing quite the dress. I think seeing her in that dress caused my body to start producing testosterone at the levels that it did back when I was fifteen. Lex TTP stands in the center of the ring and poses like he’s in the Arco Arena back in 1993. Luger is indeed bigger and more shredded than he’s ever been, though as with Scott Steiner, that’s going to cause his mobility and overall in-ring work to falter quite a bit. Steiner was able to compensate with character work and by hitting a lot of suplexes, but I’m not sure about how Luger will fare. Hogan is in the back, having someone work on his knee, which Hogan claims that he can’t bend. Hogan: JUST CUT MY DAMN PANTS OFF SO I CAN GET GOING. Sting runs in and pops Hogan in the knee with his bat again. Rey Misterio Jr. (w/The Filthy Animals) comes to the ring, and Dean Malenko (w/The Revolution) is his opponent in a call back to a typical 1996 Nitro matchup. Eddy tries to square up with Saturn and gets backed away. Malenko wants the Revolution to go back to the dressing room even though Douglas wants to be there for back-watching purposes, and Rey does the same with the Animals. Rey and Dean then have a throwback to one of their 1996 matches, something Tony S. notes. Lots of counters and switches and fast-paced exchanges start the match, and they arm drag one another and then go chest-to-chest in what is the best possible “two guys work a speedy series of counters to start and then have a standoff” spot. They come together and tangle again, and they end up both fighting over position on the top rope and punching each other at the same time like they’re Superman and Doomsday; both men fall to the floor. When they re-enter the ring, they continue to counter and counter and counter, occasionally scoring two counts on flash pinfall attempts. After some more counters, Rey tries a springboard rana and gets snatched out of mid-air and powerbombed for two; soon after, Dean stuffs some more Rey razzle-dazzle and hits a backbreaker for another two count. We go to split screen as Sid and Rick Steiner pull up in their car, and I swear to sweet fuck, do not send these bastards out here to break up this match. Thankfully, Rey does finagle a counter roll-up for three before they can bust up the match itself. This, by the way, was the best possible type of counter-focused match. Good work from them. They shake hands after the match. Much like Blitzkrieg and Kanyon’s work, you can point to matches like the ones Dean and Rey had in WCW as forming the basis for what a lot of modern fans consider peak workrate, for good and for ill. We go right into another match, this time Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart) facing off with Goldberg as Goldberg continues his march through the sorry-ass First Family. Morrus hasn’t had much for Goldberg since the latter’s very first Nitro match. I love, as we follow Goldberg in from the back, that Doug Dellinger visibly winces at the sound of Goldberg bashing his head against the door before coming out of his locker room. I am never going to get sick of this whole presentation and Goldberg’s aura in general. You can say that he had a police escort and the sparklers and all this ga-ga to help him, but as far as I’m concerned, Goldberg has the most physical charisma of any wrestler ever, straight up. I don’t know who number two is, but it’s not a small gap between that person and Goldberg. It’s the little things, not just the big power stuff. For example, Morrus tries to fight up with forearms, so Goldberg looks at him like he can’t believe Morrus is even bothering and then jams two forearms into Morrus’s jaw for the one that Morrus throws back at him. Come on, that’s just an awesome spot. There’s more than one way to be a great worker. Sid comes out and hits Goldberg with a chair behind the ref’s back, but it’s a mere chair. Morrus lands a Savage Elbow and has Goldberg in jail for a bit; Goldberg tosses out a couple of wild haymakers that miss entirely. If only Morrus was any good, he’d toss out some impact offense that might make Goldberg seem like he’s remotely in trouble, but other than the elbow and the No Laughing Matter, he is completely worthless, just awful in control. I sure hope he’s better at selling offense for long stretches when he turns babyface in a couple of months. Finally, after a boring chinlock and some aimless offense, Morrus lands a No Laughing Matter that Goldberg kicks out of at two. Morrus has nothing left after that; Goldberg manages to ignore a corner charge and land a spear, then hits a quick Jackhammer for three and gets out of dodge with a victory. After the match, Goldberg gets a microphone and invites Sid out to the ring for a few fisticuffs; Sid declines the proposal. We see an ambulance take off, but we didn’t see Hogan get loaded into it, so I’m guessing we’re getting a bait-and-switch and we’ll find out later that Shane Douglas attacked Eddy Guerrero with a lead pipe off screen or something of that nature [Editor's note: Nope!]. It’s another Nitro Girls search section that I’m going to gloss over. I’m curious to know if they’re going to actually find someone through this contest or if nothing comes of it. I haven’t recognized any of the women who have been trotted out so far. No spoilers on this, of course, please. Gene Okerlund hosts again. Kimberly and Sharmell are out here, too, and um, JamesMcAvoysweatingprofusely.gif. Evan Karagias makes his way to the ring; Berlyn (w/THE WALL, BROTHER) shouldn’t have too much trouble with the future Three Count member. It literally just dawned on me that he’s called THE WALL, BROTHER because he’s bodyguarding Berlyn and is therefore Berlyn’s Wall. Fucking dummkopfs in creative, that is some silly wordplay nonsense. There is a shot of some random fans of Uta Ludendorff in the crowd. Who makes signs for Uta? I’m judging your fandom, four people in the crowd with Uta Ludendorff signs. Anyway, she’s not anywhere to be seen because she was all wrong for her role. Actually, Berlyn’s whole entourage has been shrunk down to just THE WALL, BROTHER. Berlyn, who is not Alex Wright at all, no sirree, demands total silence from the crowd while he wrestles via David Penzer, just like Alex Wright used to. Karagias actually has a little babyface fire, so Berlyn quells it by suckering him in and poking him in the eye; then, a few seconds later, Berlyn hits a sick high knee. Damn, that was such a good high knee that I would have bought it as the finish. He also tosses Karagias around with an overhead release belly-to-belly. Karagias hangs Berlyn up on the ropes and makes a tiny comeback, but THE WALL, BROTHER hits Karagias with a slightly mistimed punch as Karagias barely keeps his footing while trying a springboard move. Berlyn follows with a reverse neckbreaker for three and a post-match neck crank. Brad Armstrong runs down for the save and gets clobbered. HAHAHAHAHA, Goldberg busts into Sid’s locker room, accosts the poor guy (named Moses, as we find out) who valeted his car, and then rips the keys away. OH YEAH, I KNOW WHAT’S COMING, AND I LOVE IT. Dopey David Flair sits backstage and tries to track down Torrie Wilson through a series of phone calls. Why don’t you head off and try to find her, David? Spend the next eighteen months or so looking for her, and report back on whether you located her on the first Nitro of April, 2001. The rest of the WTRs escort the Windham Brothers to the ring for another shot at the WCW World Tag Team Championships; Harlem Heat make it to the ring, and Stevie Ray has apparently recovered from that Rick Steiner 4x4 attack from the previous Thunder. I’m sorry, but I can’t get up for another matchup between these teams. Kendall is so bad, man, his strikes are bad and his timing is shit and he doesn’t space himself very well to take moves. Booker and Stevie have no problem working over Kendall and then Barry. Stevie gets two on a spinning kick to Barry, but whiffs on a corner charge as we go into a commercial. We come back and it’s Booker in trouble and Kendall in the ring with him. Kendall slaps on a chinlock, and yeah, let’s move it along to the finish. Booker works up from it and gets a crossbody for two, but Barry makes the save and then reasserts control of the match by tagging in and landing a DDT on Book. Book gets tossed to ringside, where Hennig and Bill work on him, before Barry dumps him back inside the ring. This is a looooooooooong heel control segment, but eventually, Stevie Ray gets a tag belt and clobbers Barry in the knee with it, which, um, allows Booker to cover for three? That’s it. That’s the match. Even Tony S. is sort of confused by the finish. It's another phone call segment! We zoom in on the Yellow Pages, turned to the TOWING section, and see Goldberg make a phone call to one of the businesses on the page. WELCOME. TO THA. SNORE FEST. ZZZ ZZZ. ZZZ ZZZ. I think about getting another cup of coffee and making it very strong as Rick Steiner walks down the aisle. This dope insists on trying to talk before the match every time out, and it sucks every time out. Steiner’s out here to sub for Sid and take care of Van Hammer, who challenged Sid as the winner of Thunder’s main event. It wasn’t exactly hard for Steiner to take Van Hammer down back at this year’s Bash at the Beach, and it’s not that hard now. Other than an overhead release belly-to-back, this match is a total snoozer of a squash and ends with a diving bulldog for three after Charles Robinson helps Steiner moot a brief Hammer comeback by helping to block Hammer’s Cobra Clutch Slam attempt, and yes, that spot’s as stupid as it sounds. An un-scarred Bret Hart comes to the ring and tells Gene Okerlund that Package's full-swung bat to the face only gave him a couple of stitches. OK. This is almost as bad as HHH using a sledgehammer as a weapon, but never actually swinging it and only using the handle to hit guys. He lectures TTP about the history of wrestling, respect for greatness, etc., etc. Ric Flair walks down to the ring while Bret is talking about how much he respects Ric in what is certainly a work rather than a shoot. Flair goes into conniptions and declares that he and the Hitman will take out the heels tonight by themselves. Let me guess, Hogan’s going to limp back out here and save the day [Editor's note: Yup!]. The crowd loves this crazy man Flair shit as he pantomimes wrestling moves, but I’m not into it. Bret is irritated when Flair threatens to fuck Liz and thrusts his hips, hahaha! He was sort of smiling at all the pantomime until then. Oh, man. Just let Bret work Benoit and Booker and Rey and Eddy in the upper-midcard if you’re not going to use him effectively in the main event, WCW. Unfortunately, David Flair tracked down Torrie quicker than I’d hoped. She pretends to be at the airport, but she’s actually chilling with the Filthy Animals backstage. It was so nice when those two weren’t on television for a few weeks. So, so nice. Sid walks up to Moses and asks where his car keys are. Moses says that Goldberg took the keys. Sid: GOLDBERG?! AW, MOSES, GEEZ. Sid is fucking hilarious. I love the idea that Sid's the kind of heel who'll powerbomb wrestlers that aren't even bothering him, but he merely gets a bit frustrated at the valet, whose name he's bothered to learn and remember, for giving his car keys to his archrival. Konnan comes to the ring for his first match in a minute or two. I guess he got his legal issues cleared up. Konnan hits the Catchphrase Roulette, which is still over. He’s facing one of the Revolution guys; Perry Saturn’s his opponent, specifically. They do some okay mat wrestling to start and trade control back and forth. Saturn gets a bit of momentum by working the arm in a series of armbars and keylocks and such. Saturn hits a fine keylock takeover, then tries a cross-armbreaker. They end up standing again and crash into one another; we get a standing ten-count and then a Konnan cover for two as we go into break. After the break, Saturn’s got Konnan set up top for an overhead superplex; he hits it, then goes back to locking the arm up. Konnan doesn’t give up, and Saturn again tries something different instead of sticking with the submission hold. He slams Konnan and lands a Savage Elbow for two. Saturn has lovely form on his Savage Elbows. Saturn finally gets caught leaping over Konnan in the corner; Konnan hits a flapjack to get some space before getting overhead suplexed on the ground, this time for two. Saturn takes his time going up, but gets caught and pressed off the top rope for two. Konnan scores a rolling clothesline for another two count, then drives a mule kick into Saturn’s gut and hits a sit-out facebuster. None of that matters much; Chavo leads a group of luchadores, including Psicosis, Juvi, and Silver King out to attack Konnan. Alright, so as the bell rings, we get a bunch of ga-ga. First, the rest of the Filthy Animals come down to even things up, and Saturn helps them until Shane Douglas runs down and drags Saturn out of the ring. Saturn is irate that Shane interceded, and he and the rest of the Revolution bicker with Douglas, who says that Saturn needed his help and is too stupid to accept it. I mean, who gives a shit about the Revolution? They’re a shitty group. However, I am glad to see them breaking up and would encourage them to break up more quickly so that Shane can be a heel because he’s a terrible babyface. Sid storms into the parking lot and walks up to his car. Oh good, he found it! However, he doesn’t have his keys, so he leaves to find those. Right after that, the fine folks at Auto Fund show up to tow his car away. Auto Fund, the number one towing service serving the Greater Atlanta area! After a DDP/Ric Flair video retrospective, Goldberg shows up and tells the tow truck driver, “You know what you gotta do. Just make sure you have it back here by eleven tonight.” Auto Fund also sells and buys salvage. We do our own auto crushing and disposal on site! Auto Fund: Atlanta’s one-stop tow-and-salvage shop! Diamond Dallas Page interviews with Gene Okerlund at the bottom of the ramp. Page claims that Atlanta loves him because he managed to score a hottie like Kimberly. He also claims that’s why Atlanta hates him. However, the reason that they’ll never forget him is because he delivers the goods, two-time, two-time, etc. Well, he changed it up, so good for him. Okerlund asks where Page’s “guys” are, but Page talks about the Total Package and Sting, not Kanyon and Bam Bam. Page threatens his babyface opponents in the main event. Psicosis wrestles Billy Kidman in a Luchas de Apuestas match, and let me tell you, I don’t like Psicosis’s chances considering the record of luchadores in these types of matches here in WCW. I’ll never stop saying that Nash and Company wasting Psicosis’s Cruiserweight Championship win is one of the second-tier biggest WCW fumbles of the booking in the Nitro Era. There’s no suspense in this match at all even though I’ve never seen it. Kidman tumbles to the floor after charging at Psicosis; Psicosis ducks out of the way, then follows with a springboard seated moonsault to the floor. He tries to press his advantage back in the ring, but dives right into a counter dropkick. Kidman signals that he’s going to take off Psicosis’s mask, which is when Chavo Jr. and Juventud Guerrera run down to the ring. That distracts Kidman, and Psicosis DDTs him for two. Both men trade moves as I wonder why you’d bring a bunch of masked luchadores in as themselves and not just unmask them from the start and give them different names. Anyway, this match is fine, but it’s focused on jibber-jabber more than it is on anything else, which makes me just want to take things to the finish. Psicosis hits a top-rope Frankensteiner for 2.5. Kidman fires up with punches, so Psicosis dumps him outside, and Chavo stomps him out before tossing him back into the ring. Psicosis crotches Kidman on the top rope, then goes up and lands a diving wheel kick for two more. Can anything put Kidman away? Not in this match as far as Psicosis is concerned, who loses a punch-fest, but is able to dodge a dropkick. He ends up walking into a Sky High that gets two, but dropkicks Kidman’s legs out from under him on a rope run. Psicosis goes up, gets caught, but lands a diving facebuster from the top for yet another two count. Kidman is able to catch Psicosis coming out of the corner and hit a powerslam, but Juvi yanks Psicosis out of the ring and Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Kidman behind the ref’s back. Psicosis gets back in the ring…and still only gets two. OK, sure. Psicosis and Chavo distract the ref again, but Kidman kicks out of the Juvi Driver that Juventud delivers at two. This sucks. I can’t believe we’re pushing Kidman as multiple levels above all three of these guys. Kidman hits a facebuster out of a powerbomb attempt by Psicosis, knocks Chavo and Juvi off the apron, then hits an SSP on Psicosis for three. They put Kidman, a guy who can’t even talk and is like the sixth-best cruiserweight on this show, essentially over three other cruiserweights who are all better than him. I don’t care that he’s over with the crowd; he’s not a guy who is going to be anything more than a fairly over babyface at the top of the midcard. Chavo has that ceiling as well, but Chavo’s far more versatile. I hated this booking, and the match was barely worthwhile to boot. Kidman rips the mask off on a rebound bulldog after Psicosis resists, and the Filthy Animals run down and clear the ring. Diamond Dallas Page, the Total Package, and Sting (w/Ms. Elizabeth) face off with Ric Flair and Bret Hart in a three-on-two handicap match, at least until Hulk Hogan drags his worthless carcass out here. Sting still appears to be pretty much over as a babyface. Michael Buffer’s Ring Announcing Quality Control: “The best there is, the best there ever was…” It’s a tiny error, but hey, I’ll point it out. It's funny that even though Sting is a heel and Flair is a babyface, they manage to wrestle the exact same way they usually do. Sting no-sells all his show and howls. Flair cheats to get an advantage. The only difference is that Sting responds to Flair’s cheating with some cheating of his own, but then again, Sting’s done that before as a babyface against Flair, too. Flair is one of the least versatile workers I’ve ever seen, even if I know if he wanted to, he could be versatile. I’ve seen him do it. Bret and TTP get in the ring next, and Bret exacts a bit of revenge, but Page knocks him over when he locks on an early Sharpshooter. The heels commence upon a series of quick tags to work over the Hitman. Tony S. tries to get over that Sting’s secretly been a dick this whole time, which really is never going to work, but he does redeem himself a bit by being put out that Liz sent a memo to all of WCW’s announcers that Luger should only be referred to as the Total Package on commentary. Bret gets a flash pinfall attempt in there, but mostly just takes a beating. We’re coming to the end of Bret’s WCW run, and WCW’s absurd misuse of him over two-ish years is legendary, at least in my mind. They spent month after month trying to establish him as a heel for some dumb reason and barely put him in any dream feuds. Flair eventually gets a hot tag and actually hits a run of effective offense on Sting, of all people. Bret holds off Page and Package while Flair locks a Figure Four on in the center of the ring. That’s when Liz hands Luger the foam bat; Luger jumps Bret from behind and chokes him out with it, then gets in the ring and slams it down on Flair’s throat. The bell rings for a DQ; David Flair runs in and clears the ring. Oops, no, sorry, he’s immediately dropped and stomped out. Then we see a shot of an empty ambulance that has returned to the backstage area. The babyfaces, and I guess David Flair is included in that group, take more of a beating until a gimpy Hogan limps out here in a leg brace. Hogan knocks down all three heels, grabs the bat, and batters Page and Package with it; Sting bails. Wow, Hulkster, our conquering hero! I’m glad they made sure that Hogan looked strong! Sid walks out to the parking lot with his keys and his duffel bag, spots his crushed automobile, and then delivers this dialogue in the awesomest way possible: OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CAR?! *hops on top of crushed car* GOLDBERG! WHERE ARE YOU? GOLDBERG!!! GOLDBERG!!!!!! *raises arms to heavens* GOLLLLDBERRRRRG!!!!!! I’m tempted to give this show five Stinger Splashes just for Sid’s performance, but alas, as much cheesy goodness and unadulterated joy as it provided me, it’s not going to carry this show over 3 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

Watts did tons of fuck finishes on Mid-South TV and even at big shows, but it was generally compelling. I think you can get away with this type of booking if you're on fire creatively, like almost any other type of booking. I also tend to think that "how are they going to book their way out of this talk" is extremely limited to a small pocket of fans that we find ourselves in. We're like the wrestling fan equivalent of having taken a literary criticism class and trying to apply Derridian discussion of signs and signifiers to Dan Brown thrillers, you know? This is especially bad in the back half of Nitro-era WCW. I find myself wishing that wrestlers would fast-forward through the cursory work to get to the finish on most Nitros and PPVs. But again, that wasn't a problem for me watching Mid-South TV main events, or even for the first couple years of Nitro-era WCW. While I think most things are complex, I really do think that for the most part, "are you telling compelling stories that the fans are invested in" solves 99% of the issues with booking a lot of fuck finishes, schmozzes, etc.

I do get this, but at the same time, Rey and Psicosis have been in the company for three years at this point and doing impressive stuff more cleanly than Blitz did. I'm not sure it was all that much of a breath of fresh air, and it's especially true when I see Blitz and then I see Eddy working more quickly and crisply against the same opponents that Blitz is working against. Blitz in WCW isn't as impactful as, say, seeing Taka ratchet up the level of work in 1997 WWF if we're talking about a wrestler's work in the context of the general pace and agility in the work of the rest of the roster.

I'll say this much: I don't want to see Baba selling after having watched quite a bit of him over the past two or three months. That's when I'm the least interested in Baba. The tag match, if you watch it, will illustrate when I'm personally most interested in watching Baba.

Here you go, my friend. https://youtu.be/Bh3RGfRAuc8?si=RDZOfDLOMUE48SOp