SirSmUgly

It was a minority of the crowd, but it was there. Bischoff also did him no favors by insisting on piping in GOLDBERG chants, which made him look like less of a star than he actually was and also turned a minority of fans off.

Show #185 – 12 April 1999 “The one with a main event scene that looks a lot different (for the worse) than it did a week ago” Diamond Dallas Page is chilling at catering with his title when Randy Savage and Gorgeous George walk up and Savage is like YOU OWE THE MACHO MAN FOR HIS EXCELLENT REFFING IN THAT MAIN EVENT LAST NIGHT, YEAH. Page blows them off and then is immediately jumped by Scott Steiner, who attacks him with a chair and screams about Page not being a real champion. I mean, Steiner did dog walk this dude Page twice in a row. Tony S., Bobby H., and a bottle of Surge all join us at commentary to introduce the show and hype our big main event: Diamond Dallas Page defending the World Championship against the new United States Champion Scott Steiner. What the heck? This is a logical matchup! Good for you, WCW bookers! We get video from a few weeks ago of stunt Kimberly tumbling out of the car that Scott Steiner carjacked, back when Nitro wasn’t an aesthetically displeasing nightmare of a show. They should have let me do the brand refresh. I would have done a much better job. Seriously, though, this show feels oddly cheap after the rebrand. I get that they’re chasing that ‘90s aesthetic, but they had a perfect logo already, and it’s hard to get another perfect logo immediately on a refresh. The WWF did it by going from the classic logo to the scratch logo, but that’s complete luck. Their current logo, a corporate, slightly polished version of the scratch logo, is a bag of seagull guano. It’s hard to get the logo right! At least with the WWE, I get the latest rebrand/slight updates – that scratch logo is very ‘90s and the company needs to look modern. I think the idea behind the WCW logo rebrand here is that the classic logo is very ‘80s, but no one was complaining about it in 1999. Still, of all the possible rebrand options, they picked the worst of a bad bunch. Not to sound like a thirsty Eric Bischoff who is desperately trying to rehab his image as an executive (to the point that he even got a little help from the Rock and the dopes who created Dark Side of the Ring), but read that Guy Evans Nitro book, and it has a page full of the logos they worked through (at least one of which ended up getting used on the branding toward the very end of the company). They are all so, so crappy. But they’re not all unreadable like this one is! I think ditching the classic Nitro theme was a complete mistake, too. RAW was lucky in a weird way because they didn’t really have a classic theme in the early days (or at least I don’t consider the early RAW theme to be much good). They could switch it up, and it didn’t hurt the presentation. But the Nitro theme is a classic, and if you change it, you need to get something comparable in quality. Anyway, Sting is here, so I’m going to quit bitching about this failed rebrand...for now. He comes to the ring and cuts a promo. He is super glad that he doesn’t look like an asshole in black and red anymore. He then says a bunch of stuff like a dork, but it’s impossible to hate on this guy. He’s so enthusiastic about it. He then says he’s the only one who has stuck around WCW the whole time, so it’s his house, his backyard, his domain. He says that one guy who doesn’t run a damned thing is DDP, and he’s calling Page out tonight, unless Page doesn’t have a penis and won’t answer the call. Yeah, seems like if Page is missing a penis, that warrants a trip to the ER and he might have to miss the show. Juventud Guerrera was able to take down Blitzkrieg the previous night at Spring Stampede, which gives him a title shot at double-champion Rey Misterio’s Cruiserweight Championship. Juvi and Rey do not care for one another, and after Rey disrespectfully boot-wipes Juvi’s face while Juvi has him in a leg grapevine, they get up and slap the shit out of each other in irritation. Juvi wins a spinebuster, and then they have a contrived slapping spot in a submission hold, but whatever, the crowd likes it. There is a thin line between “fiery” and “contrived” in fighting spirit or disrespectful slapping spots, and that spot crossed it for me. Juvi and Rey trade elbows and switches until Juvi hits a headscissors for two. Rey bails for a breather while Juvi harasses the crowd, which chants JUVI SUCKS at him. Juvi spots Rey at ringside, fakes a dive as Rey ducks, and then launches himself in a crossbody over the top. He continues to hammer Rey outside, sending him into the steps and dominating this match. OK, hold the hell on. I don’t want to give the impression that this match is bad, but commentary doesn’t know anything about this state. They’re in Yakima (at the SunDome) and Heenan notes that he didn’t see any sun. Well yeah, it’s Yakima in April! Visit again in two months and it’s 90 and sunny every day that month and for two months after (and probably a half-month before). Then Tony S. says that this is the Evergreen State, but he didn’t see many trees around Yakima. DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND THE VARIED AND INTERESTING TOPOGRAPHY OF OUR GREAT STATE?! Seriously, Washington is on the “cool varied topography in a U.S. state” all-star team, along with California, Utah, and Arizona. I digress, but look, they never come out to the West Coast and especially not to Washington State, and then they comment on the state and I feel the need to write this down and share it with you, dear reader, and if you skimmed it and looked for Rey or Juvi’s name to continue reading, I can’t blame you. Back in the ring, Juvi wipes out on a splash, and Rey hits him with ten punches in the corner, then ranas his way out of Juvi trying to powerbomb him from that position. Rey tries a moonsault, get caught, and then slips out from behind and shoves Juvi toward the corner. Rey tries to follow up with a rana, but Juvi catches him, powerbombs him, and positions him for the 450. Rey gets up, crotches Juvi, yells HERE WE GOOO, gets a big pop from this spirited Yakima crowd, and hits a top-rope rana. He can’t even move to make a cover for the win, though, because Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit rush the ring and utterly destroy him. Raven and Saturn make their way down for the save. Man, Yakima is horny for a hot pro wrestling show because they have been loud this whole time. As we go to break, Tony S. wonders WHERE’S POOCHY KIDMAN? Rey shoves Raven away as Raven checks on him, so Raven says Fuck it and hits him with an Evenflow for his troubles. Oh please, can we get Rey/Kidman against Saturn/Raven again? Belts on the line, no belts, whatever. Just let it have a definitive finish. Also as we go to break, Jimmy Hart hypes up Hugh Morrus for a match later tonight against the man he calls “The King of Hardcore,” Bam Bam Bigelow. Hardcore Hak comes up and is disgusted at the idea that Bammer is the King of Hardcore, but he kindly offers Morrus some insight into how to beat Bam Bam. He does this by saying HERE’S HOW YOU BEAT BAM BAM and then rapping Morrus in the head with the kendo stick he’s holding. Morrus laughs, as is his way. Then he pulls a SEE, I JUST KICKED SHAWN SPEARS STAN by grabbing the kendo stick, asking Hak LIKE THIS, and then whaling away on some production guy that’s almost certainly a dark match guy in a WCW production shirt. I was entertained by this, actually, which is rare for a Hugh Morrus-related segment or match. The Scott Steiner hype video plays before we go back to commentary, which talks about the Hitman’s recent appearances both on the Nitro and Toronto and on that super late show on NBC. Tony S. very casually, very obviously, opens the Surge and pimps the now-dead soda brand before sending us to a package about all Bret Hart’s gripes. Fuck Surge; when it comes to '90s sugary drink brands, I miss Fruitopia. Review of the Hak/Bam Bam match from Spring Stampede. I have to give credit to them; that was the third-best match on the show, I think. I never would have guessed that going in. By the way, props to Twiztor for the notes on the names Sandman’s moves. As soon as I read Twiztor's post, I realized that I knew already, back in the recesses of my mind, that the stick-assisted side Russian was the White Russian Leg Sweep. Not so much for the name of his senton, which is crazy for me, as drinking a cold Rolling Rock in a bottle was like having fine wine when I was a broke college student. This apparent kendo stick match between Bam Bam Bigelow and Hugh Morrus (w/Jimmy Hart) just starts with these big dudes wiping out on their signature top rope moves, which I thought was cool. Also, there are tables laying in the ring. As soon as Bigelow grabs a table, the crowd pops. He tries to whip Morrus into the table, propped up in the corner, but Morrus reverses. Bigelow crashes through the table, but moves as Morrus tries to hit a cannonball into him. Tony S. all but confirms that we’ll have a WCW Hardcore Championship soon on commentary. Meanwhile, Hart trips Bigelow on a rope run, and Morrus hammers Bigelow with the cane. Then, even though I’ve enjoyed this match, Morrus does a very stupid spot that takes me out of things. He jumps from the top rope to spike the point of the stick into Bam Bam, but Bammer moves and Morrus jams the stick back up into his chin after he drives it into the mat. Maybe it’s his goofy sell of the move that gets to me more than the concept of the spot itself, as his sell recalls Macaulay Culkin’s aftershave scene in Home Alone. Anyway, Morrus re-takes control and tries a No Laughing Matter through a table. The good news: He hits it! The bad news: Bigelow has rolled off the table by the time he hits it! One follow-up flying headbutt later, and Bigelow is your winner. Jimmy Hart is (intentionally) late to the pinfall attempt and hits Bigelow with a kendo stick to unsuccessfully try and break up the pinfall; Hart runs away before Bigelow can give him what for with the kendo stick. Rey Misterio Jr. accosts an arriving Billy Kidman, who wasn’t in the building to make the save earlier. Misterio is kind of a whiny punk bitch about the situation; Kidman told you that he’s doing promotional shit, so maybe just accept the save from Raven and Saturn this once instead of pushing Raven away and eating a DDT. DDP is in the ring as we come back – timing issues – in the midst of an interview with Okerlund, talking about how he’s the champ. He tosses off a disingenuous apology toward Hogan about wrecking his leg with that ringpost Figure Four. Okerlund asks Page about Sting’s challenge, and Page continues to be disingenuous because he says that he’d just looooooove to give Sting a title shot tonight, but there’s that whole Scott Steiner issue he’s wrapped up in tonight. I mean, it's only partially disingenuous, I guess, as Sting made his challenge to a guy is already indisposed. Page has a good reason to turn Sting down. Page continues by saying that he’s got the belt, so he calls the shots. Tony S.: “I thought Flair did that.” Me too, but why not abandon a promising storyline for no reason? Finally, DDP finishes his interview with a flourish: He says that Scotty has a teeny peeny. Yeah, it’s 1999. WCW shows work so much better with three-man booths. So, so much better. [Editor's note: From 25 years in the past, Nitro somehow managed to troll me and this statement that I made later in this show. Fair play, WCW, you trolling bastards.] Gene Okerlund calls down WCW President for Life Ric Flair. Or at least he’ll be president until September of this year at the latest, probably. Tony S. lets us know that Roddy Piper drove up to the show from the Portland exurbs, probably stopped at the Burgerville in Centralia and had a marionberry shake to remember his Portland Wrestling running pal Buddy Rose by, and now he’s here and I’m bummed about it. Flair is very annoyed about losing the big gold and says that he’s going to hold the title up, which probably explains why Piper is here, because Piper’s still commissioner, right? No, wait, it’s Randy Savage’s disappointing new theme that hits the audio instead. Savage is fucking HUGE, man, especially considering that he’s a naturally lithe guy. He just looks wrong like this. Anyway, fuck it, I love Savage, I’m here for his last shitty year of competition. Tony S. speaks lasciviously of Gorgeous George, so I tune him out and think back to Savage’s very last match in TNA, where he moved like his joints were on hinges to do a simple flash pinfall attempt, and it bums me out. I snap back as Savage tells Flair LEMME JUST LAY THE SMACK DOWN FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. Savage has a piece of paper that I guess says that Savage’s ref decision stands because the WCW Executive Committee said it would before the match (THERE MUST BE A WINNER, remember) and Flair signed the agreement as president. Whoa, exciting television here, this discussion of a legal document. I do like that Savage is still ruining Flair’s life in return for all that shit in 1992 and then again in 1995/96. Flair says, Fine, well, then you can’t wrestle in my company, stupid! Pretty much, that’s what he said. I like that Flair learned from the Bischoff stuff; he specifically says, “You’re not reinstated to clean the bathrooms!” Good move. Now Charles Robinson speaks, which is unnecessary, and he runs down Macho’s refereeing style and then calls George a “bimbo.” George slaps the shit out of him. It gets a pop, but uh, please tell me that they’re not going to have George and Robinson feud. OH FUCK, THEY ARE. Savage says that he wants a Charles Robinson/Gorgeous George match at Slamboree, and if George wins, Savage is reinstated. Robinson is like YEAH I WANT REVENGE ON THIS LADY IN A WRESTLING MATCH, so Flair agrees. Kevin Nash, I love you, but you’re an idiot. I am 93.6% certain that this is your fault. Sting comes out here to interrupt. He calls Page DIAMOND DALLAS TRASH for refusing to wrestle him tonight, hahahahaha, Sting rules. Then he says since Page is ducking him (somewhat unfair) and Savage isn’t available, how about he beats up Flair again, just for the sake of it? Arn’s like, Watch yourself Stinger, I’ll be there with him, and Sting’s like, Yeah, yeah, I used to kick the shit out of you all the time, too. Sting and Flair have a WOOOOOO-off as we go to break. Tony S. mocks his own GREATEST NITRO IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT call. See, he’s at least somewhat self-aware! La Parka and El Dandy come to the ring, a legendary pairing of wrestlers if ever there were. They’re out here to wrestle the new Master Blasters (w/Jimmy Hart). Tony S. is like I REMEMBER THE MASTER BLASTERS, and I’m like, you gonna just pretend that you don’t know that Kevin Nash was one of them? And yes, he is. He’s just like, HEY THOSE ORIGINAL MASTER BLASTERS SURE WERE A COUPLE OF BIG DUDES. The new Master Blasters are wearing pantyhose on their head, Chainsaw Charlie-style. It’s Al Green, reprising his earlier role as a Master Blaster, and Chase Tatum. OK, here we go: Kevin Nash comes down here not a minute in, sipping from a Surge, no less. Nash cuts into the match, says he wants to cut a promo right now even though he’s not on the call sheet, and then destroys his former Master Blaster partner Greene, two lucha legends, and also Chase Tatum, all by himself. Wow, that’s the sort of inside baseball snarky reference combined with a dominant showing that you’d have if you were booking yourself on this show! Seriously, Nash is one hundred percent trying to book this show like he thinks Vinnie K. McMahon would book it, plus with a few cute references sprinkled in to amuse himself. He kicks us to the video board to see that clip from last week where Nash was talking to Flair and Hulk Hogan was cross about it. Nash, who is still gassed from taking out the two tag teams earlier, huffs for oxygen while explaining that the deal he cut with Flair was that if he helped Flair keep the title in that Nitro’s main event – which he did – then Nash could have a title shot at Slamboree. So Nash deferred getting a shot against Goldberg to get one against, as it turns out, DDP? Yeah, that was probably a smart move on his part. Nash swears to get DDP back for injuring Hogan if Page is still the champ by Slamboree. Billy Kidman faces off with the criminally underused Psicosis after the break. Psicosis immediately does a cool counter spot that I love by stopping short on a Kidman drop down and just basement dropkicking him in the head. Psicosis follows up with a running dropkick to a slumped Kidman in the corner. Man, Psicosis rules. Psicosis runs the ropes and pops Kidman up, but Kidman hits a Frankensteiner out of it. Kidman goes for ten punches in the corner and avoids being countered into an inverted atomic drop by sliding over the back of Kidman and getting a sunset flip for two. Psicosis takes back over by again stopping short on a rope run and hitting an elevated facebuster after a few kicks. Psicosis hangs Kidman over the top rope, then drills him with a running dropkick that knocks him outside and lands a suicide dive after that. Psicosis knocks him around, tosses him into the ring, and hits a pretty missile dropkick from the top for two. Kidman finally is able to turn things around by hitting a clothesline out of a rope run. He shoots Psicosis into the ropes again, but he should stop doing that, as Psicosis stops short again and then successfully backdrops Kidman to the floor when Kidman charges. Psicosis tries to follow up with a big dive from the top rope, but Kidman lands a counter-dropkick to Psicosis’s solar plexus, then rolls Psicosis inside and gets two off a huge crossbody of his own from the top. Kidman tries a corner charge, but eats boots and then a huge top-rope Frankensteiner. Psicosis is a bit slow to cover and only gets two. Psicosis looks a bit frustrated, and maybe he loses his concentration; Kidman backflips out of a back suplex attempt and hits a springboard bulldog for two. Kidman tries another corner charge, and whiffs yet again on a splash. Man, you’d think that Psicosis would take more advantage of these rope-running misses from Kidman, but nope – he tries to hit Kidman with a powerbomb, eats a facebuster counter in response, and falls to an SSP. I’m going to give Kidman more credit; I think he’s gotten better to the point that he can have very good or great matches when his opponent is very good or great. He can keep up with those guys now. He’ll never be the best guy in any of his best matches, but that’s okay. Anyway, the cruiserweights are having great nights in the ring tonight. There’s a promo for a new WCW newsletter: WCW’s Slam Society. In it, the ad claims that Disco Inferno’s favorite band is secretly Hanson, which is very ‘90s and also a very shorthand way to call Disco even cornier than he already is. My wife told me a while back that Hanson have their own line of brews now. I immediately asked if one is an IPA called MMMHops, and I’m pretty sure she laughed and said that one was. Gene Okerlund is back in the ring to interview Goldberg. Goldberg feels like he vindicated his loss to Nash at Starrcade, when he got “screwed," with his win over Nash at Spring Stampede. And yes, they bleeped the word “screwed.” Speaking of the word “screwed,” Goldberg is reminded of Bret Hart and promises retribution for the whole steel plate trick. But since Bret’s elsewhere right now, Goldberg prefers to focus on a guy who is still here, somewhere: Lex Luger, who he threatens for interfering in his previous matches with Nash. Hey, uh, is anyone ever going to explain that clip last week where Goldberg was called to Ric Flair's office and was surprised to run into Luger and Liz? Goldberg congratulates Page and then promises to get the belt back from the guy, but he’s also like, Because I got screwed out of the gold and because I’m so good anyway, we all know I’m the real champ. While I have a broad idea of where the World Championship goes even if I cannot possibly follow every title change over the next two years of WCW shows – actually fewer than two years of shows now (!!!) – I have no real memory for tracking the U.S. Championship until the very end of the promotion (Rick Steiner has it until the PPV before the last Nitro, IIRC, when he loses it to Booker T.). And the TV title? I mean, who the fuck knows what’s going to happen to that thing, other than it being dropped for awhile after Scott Hall dumps it in a bin and it magically teleports from one trash can in an arena to another one at a totally different arena for Hacksaw Duggan to find. I say this because Rick Steiner and Booker T., about 23 months before having that U.S. Championship tangle, are having a tangle tonight over the TV title, and I have no clue what’s going to happen there! While Booker and Scott Steiner are fantastic together, singles wrestler Rick Steiner stinks. I mean, I enjoyed him as a singles wrestler in JCP, and I think he had a little promise in the UWF, but he turned out to be a Dollar Tree Dr. Death as a singles wrestler in my opinion. Steiner hits a high-angled back suplex early on. They do a rope run, and Booker wins a roundhouse. Oh yeah, as much as Rick bums me out in singles, this match will be okay because these fellas are perfectly okay with working stiff and somewhat out of control with strikes and suplexes at times. Booker gets two off a superkick, but eats a short clothesline after a series of armdrag reversals. Booker is able to get control again with a hot shot, then superkicks Steiner to the floor and lands a double-axe on him from the apron. Booker tries to whip Steiner into the ropes, but gets reversed and clotheslined to the floor. Back in the ring, Booker hits a series of kicks, but gets his leg hooked on another roundhouse kick; Steiner drops him in a suplex for two. They run the ropes again, and again Booker gets caught, this time on a leapfrog that gets turned into a slam for two. This match is surprisingly pretty good, so of course, we get a fucking ref bump. Stevie Ray runs down and hits Rick Steiner in the head with a slapjack as Steiner goes up top to try a bulldog; Booker stumbles to his feet and lands a Houston Side Kick that gets three. I really wish they’d keep Stevie away from Booker in storyline. I’m surprised – Scott Steiner comes to the ring for his World title shot with fifty minutes or so left to go on this show. No, wait, Tony S. corrects my faulty assumption: Steiner’s just here to talk. He insults the looks of the ladies in Yakima, but he assures us that he will find one desirable lady and chain her up in his basement. I mean, that’s what I’m taking from what he just said. Also, I can quote that he uses the phrase “cherry poppin’,” but that doesn’t get bleeped somehow. So we can say “cherry poppin’,” but not “screwed” on Turner networks. OK, good to know. He insults DDP, calls him white trash – I’m pretty sure he once called Booker “white trash,” and maybe I’m wrong and it’s a false memory, but I cannot wait for it to happen, if it in fact happens. Steiner promises to take the gold from Page and then give Kimberly what probably would be at best a disappointing time in the sack and at worst a criminal sexual assault. Goldberg heads back out to the ring to destroy Kenny Kaos. Goldberg dominates and rolls Kaos into a legbar, but Kaos gets to the ropes and stands around outside re-thinking his life choices for awhile as he recovers. Back in the ring, Kaos does get a teensy bit of offense off an eye rake, but summarily gets pressed into a power slam, overhead pumphandle suplexed (!!), speared, and Jackhammered in short order. Though we haven’t heard him on camera tonight, Tony S. mentions that DJ Ran is here. That little experiment is not going to go well, as anyone with a cursory understanding of the bulk of WCW’s core audience would expect. Ric Flair (w/Arn Anderson) walks out to face Sting. Charles Robinson is the ref, so instead of a bog-standard solid enough Sting/Flair match, we’re going to get a bog-standard solid enough Sting-Flair match with a bunch of heel ref fuckery. I am really quite disinterested in heel ref fuckery in WCW, as I know I say over and over, but in my defense, WCW keeps doing heel ref angles over and over. I feel like Sting deserves more credit for being a worker who is awesome at spectacle. He’s a big dude doing leapfrogs and press slams. It’s almost the same as Goldberg’s appeal, but Sting is legitimately a great worker. Yes, I said “great.” He can wrestle Flair and overpower him or wrestle Goldberg or Vader and work as an undersized, underneath fighter very effectively. I think through this watch, I’ve discovered that I value the quality of working bigger against smaller guys and vice versa very highly in my pro wrestlers. It might be the thing that I most care about, actually. That quality makes for a worker who is quite versatile and can have a good match with almost anyone by adjusting how they work based on their opponent’s size. Scott Hall is another guy who I would flat out describe as “great.” Those are probably minor hot takes, but I stand by them. Sting is in the ring getting the best of Flair, who bails out after Sting yanks his tights to get him over for a schoolboy. Flair walks around and tries to collect himself, but he gets in the ring and get his ass kicked until he tumbles outside again and Flair flops right in front of a horrified Arn. This match isn’t particularly good (or particularly bad), but I think it’s instructive of why Sting rules. Flair plays Kenny Kaos to Sting’s Goldberg, gets some cursory offense in, but gets a kneedrop blocked. Sting keeps hold of the knee and locks on a Figure Four, but Flair is able to eventually make his way to the ropes. Sting scores a clothesline a short time later, but Arn puts Flair’s boot on the ropes during Sting’s cover. Arn next tries to interfere when Sting’s got Flair trapped in the corner, and though he eats a chop, he’s able to yank Flair out of the way of a Stinger Splash, and Sting leaps all the way over the buckles and to the floor. Arn puts the boots to Sting and then dumps him back inside. Flair hits a ball shot right in front of the ref, but Robinson is cool with it. Arn talks shit to the crowd and is too late to stop Sting from reversing an apron vertical suplex with one of his own. Sting eats knees on a splash, but gets a reprieve when Flair goes up top; Sting follows him and tosses him. Sting and Flair have a mat exchange in which Flair is able to get a two count, but Sting bridges up and gets a two count of his own on a backslide. Sting continues to control until Flair hits another ball shot right in front of a permissive referee. Flair hits a stalling vertical suplex that Sting no-sells, as he does in every Sting match. Why wouldn’t Flair stop doing the corner chops or the vertical suplex to Sting? It never works! He looks like a doofus in kayfabe. This is where his ideas about what the crowd wants in pro wrestling clash with his “master technician” persona, and that’s why I think I prefer Bret Hart. Bret has his signatures, too, but he doesn’t have signatures that always get reversed! Sorry, I don’t want to start a whole “Flair vs. Bret: Who’s Better?!” thing, but that’s really at the core of my preference for Bret. And yes, I do understand where Flair is coming from, especially as a guy who spent a lot of time as touring champ trying to make sure that everyone from Winston-Salem to Regina to Nacogdoches to Fresno got to see a classic Flair-style match. I completely understand why he does what he does and can see how it makes sense from that angle, but it doesn't fit with how he's portrayed, that's all, and it breaks the immersion for me personally. Sting looks like he’s about to win the match, so Arn distracts him, and Sting turns back to Flair and whiffs on a splash. Flair quickly locks on a Figure Four and gets leverage from Arn on the outside, so Randy Savage power walks down and pops Arn, helping his former compatriot in the Wolfpac turn the Figure Four. Tony S. is confused that Flair tries a bunch more chops that don’t work because they never work. Sting hits a Scorpion Death Drop, and though Robinson is reluctant to count, there’s not much he can do; Sting gets a three count, then locks Arn in the Scorpion Death Lock after the match to boot. If WCW were wise, they’d have Robinson wait for Sting to leave and then reverse the decision for the post-match attack on Arn. Michael Buffer is in the ring to introduce the competitors in our main event. Wait, before the match, Roddy Piper’s theme hits. I had forgotten about Piper being on this show. Piper joins the commentary table, which means that I might be in hell, maybe? Tony S., Heenan, and Piper in 1999. My goodness. And on cue, Piper starts talking about the Nitro Girls and their boobs. FUCKING KILL ME Hey, it’s Kimberly! She escorts DDP to the ring. Well, we’re into 1999, so I’m not ruling out Kimberly screwing over Page and joining Steiner. Page deposits Kimberly into a chair in the front row while Steiner harasses women and threatens to bitch slap Tony S. if Tony touches his sunglasses that he’s leaving on the desk. The match starts and Page kicks the hell out of Steiner to start. Steiner tries to dump Page to ringside, but Page catches himself, comes off the top, and the continues to kick the hell out of Steiner until Steiner ends up at ringside again. DDP tosses Steiner across the commentary desk and bashes him into the guardrail at ringside. Heenan looks legit irritated at the spot, so I guess they didn’t tell him they were going to do it beforehand so that he could protect himself. There’s a break, and when we come back, Stiner is in control somehow and lands a belly-to-belly suplex. Piper both pillories Page’s actions to become champ – sitting in the corner to let his opponents fight, using the ringpost Figure Four – and also cheers for him against Steiner. Piper is truly fucking awful. He shits on Page for hitting Flair with a Diamond Cutter after Savage broke the Figure Four with a Savage Elbow. What? That’s a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Flair wouldn’t break the hold, so the ref broke it for him, and Page took the opportunity to follow up! Fuck off, Piper. Also, he tries to get over the catchphrase REALITY CHECK. God, this guy SUCKS. Steiner continues to keep control by forearming Page in the nuts when Page tries to make a comeback. He clubbers and bends Page around the buckles, but Page blocks some more clubbering with a jawbreaker. Still, Page goes up and gets crotched by Steiner, who follows with a top-rope Frankensteiner that gets 2.5. Immediately, Steiner accosts Randy Anderson for not counting quicker. Page gets a flash rollup for two, eats a bit more damage, and then finally gets some space by hitting a discus lariat. Page makes his comeback with kicks and a swinging neckbreaker. That last move only gets two, so Page hammers Steiner’s head into the buckles and hits a back suplex for another two count. Page drops Steiner with a pancake while Piper makes this fucking show unlistenable, and oh look, here’s a ref bump now. Steiner shoved Page into the ref on a Diamond Cutter attempt, then went and got some bolt cutters that he strapped to his belt. He unclips the buckles, knocks Page’s head into the bolt, and then hits an Oklahoma Stampede times two into the bolt. Steiner locks on the Recliner, but realizes the ref is out and lets it go. When he turns back around, Page hits a jumping DDT, then gets kicked in the balls AGAIN while trying to hit a backslide. Steiner hits a suplex and goes for another Steiner Recliner, but Page tosses his head back and headbutts Steiner in the balls a few times. Then, in the coolest spot of this match by far, Kimberly hops the railing, takes Penzer’s chair, and hits Steiner in the dome with it. Page quickly follows that up with a Diamond Cutter and the ref revives and counts to three. It's hard to say how I feel about this Nitro. It ended with two long matches – good! – that I really didn’t enjoy – bad! – other than that they confirmed how great Sting is and gave Kimberly a measure of revenge that she very much deserved in storyline. But I feel that the storytelling that was so interesting before Spring Stampede is now muddled. Flair has all this power, and all he can do is ineffectually book himself to lose to Sting? Page is a tweener, I guess, but we’re supposed to root for him to beat Steiner while also decrying him for *checks notes* using a ringpost Figure Four to take Hogan out of a match that was for the big gold? For taking a break and letting his remaining two opponents go at it? For hitting Flair with a Diamond Cutter and pinning him while Sting was unable to do anything about it? How dumb is that shit? Meanwhile, Kidman and Misterio are having a “dissension within the tag team” angle already? I don’t know, man. And look, I enjoy Kevin Nash usually, but his booking is both self-indulgent and a lazy copy of what he thinks VKM would do. I’m not a fan. That’s not to say the show was bad, and there’s still some intrigue around how Page will navigate being champion, but my excitement for seeing what will come next in the main event tangle of motivations and maneuvers has cooled considerably. They should have left Ric as the champ and built the Horsemen and the budding Four Horseman Security Corporation (that's what I would have called it) around fending off challengers to Ric's belt. 2.75 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

Wade Barrett on color was the only thing enjoyable about the revival, so not having television pretty much makes this whole deal probably unwatchable. But if I come across a live show while I am visiting the UK, I will still go just to say I did.

Spring Stampede ’99 notes: I am hyped as hell for this show! Let’s gooooooooo! Spring Stampede and Bash at the Beach must have the best hit rates for WCW PPVs. People always complain about how bad Uncensored and Souled Out were (which I think is somewhat unfair), but they never give enough credit to Spring Stampede and Bash at the Beach consistently being very good. Before I started this PPV, I went back and watched the segment from WCWSN on 4/10 that Twiztor posted. There’s another talky confrontation between Konnan, Juventud Guerrera, and Disco Inferno La Cucaracha. Before that segment occurs, Gene Okerlund is back in the locker rooms, and he is going to spill some shit on the WCW Hotline about Lex and Liz and ECW being broke as fuck, I think. I’m so proud of how much Juvi has improved his English, no matter how much Konnan or the commentators shit on him about it. Juvi accidentally admits that Cucaracha is Disco, and Disco has to quickly correct him. Juvi translates that while Cucaracha actually isn’t Disco, he swears, Cucaracha is a huge fan of Disco and Disco’s music videos. On the other hand, he speaks for all of Mexico in saying that Konnan’s videos are hot ass and that the whole country is awaiting Cucaracha’s beating of Konnan at Spring Stampede. This brings Konnan out to *sigh* hit his fucking Catchphrase Roulette, though it’s definitely over with this crowd. He also says that everyone in the arena except for Penzer is ‘bout it or rowdy. Konnan re-uses the same insults he used about Juvi’s English and Cucaracha’s Spanish and wrestling on Thunder. Like, exactly the same. The man is locked on saying the same shit over and over, just stuck on the roulette wheel of catchphrases. Disco attacks and celebrates like Disco before forgetting that he’s not supposed to be Disco. The crowd chants that DISCO SUCKS, but I think he’s good at stooging and has solid timing! Anyway, they have a short fight that ends with Konnan stealing Disco’s Chartbuster, which Disco stole from Stone Cold Steve Austin, and then unmasking him. I think they should have done this on Thunder instead of having almost the same segment, but without the unmasking, on Thunder and then doing the unmasking on SN. Weird choice on WCW Creative’s part. Back to Spring Stampede. Hey, it’s the ugly-ass Tacoma Dome! Someone paid attention to my pleas somehow, even though I am writing these 25 years in the future: We’re opening with Blitzkrieg vs. Juventud Guerrera! Blitz is billed as from “the Cosmos,” which Heenan declares is a half-mile outside of Yakima. Yeah, that’s more of a “Parts Unknown” sort of location, Heenan. This match is a number one contendership match for the Cruiserweight Championship. Calo apparently got a concussion on Thunder during his match against Blitz, but these bums Tony S. and Heenan are too busy clowning on Thunder as a show to really say anything useful about this. Juvi rolls up Blitz early for two, but Blitz squirms out and puts an ineffective looking ankle lock on Juvi, which Juvi rolls through for another two count. Blitz puts on a headlock, and I’m like, get to the reversals and the flips, dammit. They do! They have a couple of switches and flips out of moves that ends with a Blitz side slam that looks like it spiked Juvi’s ankle. Juvi shows no ill effects as he takes control, but then loses it again as Blitz lands a Muta-style handspring elbow. They continue to work in the corners of the ring, fighting over head smashes into the corner buckles. Juvi wins that fight and hits ten smashes to answer Blitzkrieg, who hit him with ten punches in the corner shortly before. Juvi hits a springboard dropkick, and Blitz rolls outside, where Juvi spears him with a suicide dive. Juvi takes matters back into the ring and lands a brainbuster for two. Juvi locks on a surfboard, but Blitz wriggles out of it and lands on top of Juvi for a flash two count. Juvi tries to regain control with a suplex, but Blitz hops out of it and lands a series of strikes that send Juvi spilling to the floor. Juvi is terrible about getting to his spot in a timely manner, just awful, almost like he forgot the spot he was supposed to do, so Blitz has to kind of chase Juvi around the apron so that he can leap off top and get counter-dropkicked on the floor. Juvi puts Blitz back in the ring and tries a tilt-a-whirl, but Blitz counters that with a rolling arm drag. Juvi slides back outside and gets caught with a lovely springboard moonsault on the floor. Back in the ring, they counter powerbomb and Juvi Driver attempts until Juvi finally gets the last flip out of a move and hits a neckbreaker. Juvi parks Blitz up top and tries a back suplex, and Blitz fucks up the counter, or maybe Juvi doesn’t lift him enough. The point is that Blitz counters by toppling onto Juvi. They counter again and again, including a counter of another Juvi Driver attempt, until Blitzkrieg hits a spinning sunset flip for two. Blitz puts him up top again, but Juvi grabs Blitz and hits him with a Super Juvi Driver that gets three. That was a sloppy and disjointed match, not nearly as good as I’d hoped it would be (and I’m not sure I’d actually call it “good” at all), but it served its duty well enough as a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER. Hardcore Hak and Bam Bam Bigelow are going to club each other with plundah, and maybe Chastity will do some cool shit too. Tony S. stops perving on Chastity prematurely because Bam Bam Bigelow wheels out a cart full ‘o garbage and slams it into the gut of a charging Hak. Hak pulls a table out from under the stagecoach on the set – why was a table there? Who knows? – and plants Bam Bam on it, then HOLY FUCK hits a somersault senton from the top of the stagecoach to Bam Bam and through the table. That was a better aerial spot than anything in the HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER, and I can’t believe that I’m saying that. Bigelow fights back even though that’s the sort of spot that should end a match, IMO; it was a hell of a somersault senton and there was a nice CRUNCH when Hak landed. Bigelow bends a crutch around Hak’s spleen. I don’t know, these garbage brawls usually feel very same-y, but this one is quite fun for some reason. I actually think garbage brawls are booked too long. If you’re whacking people with crutches and putting them through tables on stagecoach dives in a sport where a single chair shot keeps guys down for three regularly, your fight should last like five minutes and go almost immediately to 2.9s once you drag the plundah out and start using it. That’s how I feel about it, but no one is giving me the damn book, so I guess I’ll just complain about things here. Very ineffectually. Bam Bam puts a salad bowl on Hak’s head and then punches it, and somehow, that rules. But oh no, I think Hak might have blown out his knee? Maybe not; there was a botched slam spot, and it really did look like he might have blown out his knee. He just grabs a ladder and puts it in the ring, though. I mean, you can walk on a blown knee, but you can’t do fucking ladder spots on one. Hak dropkicks the ladder into Bammer and then puts it on top of him and somersault sentons it from the top, too. Why the fuck not? Somersault sentons for all! Hak lands a bulldog on the ladder, and then gets yet another table, the nutty bastard. You know, I figured out what I like about this match compared to most other garbage brawls – Hak is in it. Hak is legit probably the best garbage brawler in this modern ECW style ever. I don’t know what it is about him. He just bosses it in these things. Chastity helps set the table up between the apron and the guardrail so that Hak can climb the ladder for no reason and get tipped off it and through the table. Bammer leans the ladder in one corner and a guardrail in the opposite corner, then hypes up the crowd before tossing Hak into the ladder and spiking him with a dented trash can. Hak fights back from underneath with a crutch. He drapes Bam Bam on the guardrail and tries a guillotine legdrop, but he busts his butt on the rail, literally. Chastity VERY BADLY mistimes a fire extinguisher spot as Bam Bam waits, holding the guardrail to slam it on Hak. Poor Bammer is peeking backward, like, Where the fuck is she?! Finally, she makes it into the ring and Bam Bam gets the extinguisher and turns it on her. Hak uses that opportunity to hit a cane assisted side Russian, but Bam Bam gets right the hell up from that so that he can drive Hak through a table with a Super Greetings from Asbury Park for three. What is up with folks fucking up key spots in matches tonight? Anyway, that match was stupid shit, totally illogical, but there were enough cool spots in it that I liked it well enough. Scotty Riggs is on this show for some reason. He’s got a mirror which says BETTER LOOKING EACH DAY on it. OK, buddy, you keep working through gimmicks. I’m sure one will stick eventually. Riggs faces Mikey Whipwreck in this unannounced bonus match that Riggs can use to establish his new persona and to steal the Rick Rude hip swivel. Though sadly, Rude won’t be needing it for much longer anyway since he dies nine days after this show. Whipwreck hits some opening offense and knocks Riggs to the floor. Whipwreck continues to dominate when Riggs re-enters the ring, puts double-boots to him when he falls back outside, and then leaps over the top rope and hits Riggs with a rana. He misses a leaping legdrop to Riggs on the apron, however, and Riggs barges into him, knocking him off the apron and into the guardrail.. Riggs puts the boots to Mikey and does some boilerplate offense in control. He strikes, he chokes, he poses, he draws BORING chants. There’s a nice top rope move in there, but yeah, Riggs stinks. He has a lovely-looking dropkick, to be sure, but most of his offense stinks. Riggs runs himself into boots on a corner charge twice in a row, then eats a missile dropkick from Whipwreck for two. Mikey follows up with a side Russian for two more. Whipwreck gets another two count off a Frankensteiner, and that’s as close as he gets to victory, as Riggs lands a flying forearm on a rope run for three. Yuck. The best thing about that match is that it ended, and relatively quickly, too. YEAH, this video package for the Disco/Konnan feud has clips of Disco’s mockery of said video. Their match is next. Look, Konnan, I’m tired of this Catchphrase Roulette. Change it up a bit, dude. Disco comes out here in a silver shirt and cowboy hat combo and fires imaginary six shooters, which got a good laugh out of me. What an idiot. Konnan calls Disco gay because of his outfit while a fan (probably from Puyallup or maybe Covington: See more about this in the Steiner/Booker segment of this review) holds up a sign that racially slurs Konnan, so, uh, not pro wrestling’s finest moment there. The match begins, and Disco hits Konnan’s rolling clothesline and mockingly dances in Konnan’s style. We proceed to get a Konnan match. In 1999, no less. Disco is very good, but he’s no miracle worker or anything near it. He’s a guy who a) is great doing comedy matches and b) can up his game against better workers than him. He’s not a guy who is having a good match with Konnan in 1999. I’m just super-bored by Konnan hitting offense at half-speed and Disco bumping for said half-speed offense. Disco hits a snapmare into a chinlock, and I’m good man, I’d rather listen to ten minutes of Disco and Konnan talking about AEW than watch this match, which really says something because that sounds like hell. Disco gets back to his feet, struts, and lands a swinging neckbreaker for two. Disco keeps cutting off Konnan comebacks; he cuts off another one, gets on the second rope, cabbage patches, and then drops the elbow for two. Cabbage patching? That’s not disco. It certainly is a future partial descendant of disco, but it’s not disco. Konnan tries another comeback, but jogs into a Disco sidestep and gets dumped outside for the obligatory ringside brawl in this match. Konnan actually does take and keep control out there, then gets back in the ring…and gets cut off with a boot. Disco lands a falling fist to Konnan’s dome and then goes back to the chinlock. Konnan fights up, gets slammed, and then dodges another second rope Disco elbow. Konnan finally makes a comeback, lands a rolling clothesline, and then drills a 1-8-7 (!!) that gets 2.9. Konnan hits a rollup for another two count, but Disco floats over on a clothesline attempt and hits a neckbreaker for two. They run the ropes again, and Konnan hits the back kick and…Disco blocks it. They counter-counter-counter, and Konnan shoves Disco out of a Chartbuster attempt and catches Disco with a Chartbuster of his own on the rebound that gets three. Wow, Konnan certainly got his revenge. You beat a guy with his own move, that’s like a win times a thousand. By the unspoken rules of professional wrestling, Konnan should probably get a shot at the winner of the Four Corners match later tonight. Let’s hope this show picks up a little with the Billy Kidman/Rey Misterio Jr. for the Cruiserweight title. It’s been, um, a bit less than I’d hoped for so far. Thy run the ropes to start and work an intricate sequence where they both hold a knuckle lock, get a stereo two count, and then Rey lands on his feet out of a monkey flip and gets a headscissors takedown. Oh man, this one is probably going to be pretty pacey, so let’s see how well I do to follow it. They counter, counter, and counter again until Kidman is able to backdrop Rey to the floor and follow up with a crossbody over the top. It's obligatory ringside brawl time! Kidman catches Rey on a face crusher attempt, drapes him over the rail, and then springs over the guardrail and lands a legdrop before taking it back inside and sticking on a headlock. We get another sequence after Kidman gets up; Misterio sends Kidman outside, tries a moonsault, gets caught, but slips out of the back of a charging Kidman who is attempting a powerslam and sends him into the rail. Rey takes a MASSIVE strike to the head when he rushes in, and counters a backdrop attempt against the rail from Kidman with a rana…that sends his head right into the upturned stairs next to the ring at high speed. I know that hurt like a motherfucker. Rey winces in pain and angrily kicks the stairs away. Maybe, um, keep it in the ring with the wild spots? Maybe? Rey gets back in the ring and hits a seated senton, but I’m wondering about Rey’s cranial health right now. He hits a springboard moonsault for two, but tries another rana and gets powerbombed out of it. Kidman takes some time to cover and gets two. Kidman hits a backbreaker, but holds onto Rey and lifts him up again for a big back suplex that gets another two count. Rey tries to counter on a rope run, but Kidman hits a Sky High for yet another two count, then tosses Rey to the floor and hits a running SSP off the apron. That had to hurt, too, because Kidman’s aim is off and he cracks knees with Rey. Tony S. notes that the match has slowed down. Yeah, I mean, Rey probably rung his own bell and has hurting knees, and Kidman definitely fucked his knees up on that SSP. Both of them are troopers, though, and Rey fights up to dropkick Kidman out of the air on a dive for two. Rey sits Kidman up top and hits a bulldog from the top for two more. Rey lands a wheel kick, but gets back body dropped out of what looks like a powerbomb attempt, maybe? This match is just two guys who look like they shoot hurt one another trying to do some cool spots, and now they need a long breath to try and gear themselves up for more high spots. Kidman hits a powerslam for two, then cinches in a headlock. Tony S. notes the welt on the side of Misterio’s head from when he cracked the stairs, and the camera even gets a shaky shot of it. Meanwhile, these fellas go back at it; Misterio hits a somersault senton from the ring to the floor, then rolls Kidman in and comes off the top, but gets clotheslined out of the air. Kidman goes back to the chinlock, and Rey fights out of it after getting some rest. They run the ropes, but Rey hits a Frankensteiner out of a Sky High attempt and gets two, then puts on a chinlock of his own. They work back up, but Rey clears himself out on a shoulder charge to the corner that Kidman dodges. Kidman shoots Rey into the ropes, but pops him up and eats a face crusher for it. They run again, and Kidman ducks through a Rey grapple and hits a double underhook face crusher. Kidman goes up for the SSP, but Rey catches him, and Kidman has to settle for a sunset flip powerbomb. Rey makes it back to his feet, and they go to the other corner, where Rey hits another top rope bulldog, but can only get 2.9. Kidman hits a rebound bulldog for 2.9. This is just moves on moves in between rest spots at this point, but in a way where it feels like guys just tossing offense out there. It doesn’t feel like a competitive match. It feels like a series of spots. These fellas are IMO clearly too hurt to really think beyond the moves and put together a compelling narrative. We should probably get to the end here, which we’re headed toward when Rey tries a powerbomb and eats a face crusher. Kidman goes up for the SSP, but Rey trips him and lands a top-rope rana for three. That was an okay match, but they had a much better match just sprinting for nine minutes on Nitro at Club La Vela. I think maybe they could have had something that one-upped that match, but they got thrown off by two spots that clearly injured them. Alright, so Spring Stampede has been okay, but underwhelming so far. However, the good news is that this card was built up so well that it’s always one match away from taking a leap into awesomeness. Next up: Raven and Saturn will face Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (w/Arn Anderson) in what is probably an eliminator match for number one contendership to the tag titles. Hey, they didn’t bother to dub over “Come Kinda Like You Are” in the promo package, which is what I’m calling that knockoff. Saturn and Benoit start this match; Saturn is immediately dumped outside, where he takes on both his opponents and beats on them. He takes a tag and hits a rebound lariat sort of deal for two. Raven and Saturn do quick tags and cool double teams, like Raven front suplexing Benoit so that Saturn can splash him from the top for two. It’s not quite a PowerPlex, but it rules. They tag in and out, comboing Benoit until Benoit can C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER and dropkick Raven through the ropes and to the floor. Malenko and Arn don’t miss this time around and double up on Raven at ringside before dumping him back in the ring. Raven is the FIP, and Malenko and Benoit hit nice double-team moves, like a team spinebuster followed by a wishbone. These teams work so well together, I’m certain that they could have a good match against one another in their sleep. Raven gets a flash inside cradle, but Charles Robinson is conveniently too distracted by Malenko to do much counting. Then, it’s back to a beatdown for Raven, who eats suplexes and strikes while Arn yells stuff like OHHHH, THAT’S GOTTA HURT at ringside. Robinson continues to admonish Saturn for long periods of time so Raven can get double-teamed behind his back. Robinson as Flair’s crooked ref is in a weird space on this show. Crooked ref angles are a tired deal at this point in WCW, but this is by far the best worked of any of the rogue referee angles. Raven finally gets a hot tag to Saturn, who clears Arn off the apron and goes to town on Malenko and Benoit. He hits the dress punches on Benoit, but turns into a fist from Malenko, who manages not to tear Saturn’s groin hosting him up top. Raven comes from behind and lifts Malenko in the electric chair position, and Saturn hits a splash. Saturn signals for the DVD, but Benoit comes up behind him and cinches Saturn’s waist, then Malenko dropkicks Saturn backward as Benoit uses the momentum to land a German. Raven saves and then tumbles outside with Benoit, but Malenko is able to trip Saturn and put him in the Texas Cloverleaf. Saturn barely crawls to the ropes, then hits a DVD when back to his feet. Benoit dispatches of Raven and scrambles to the top to land a flying headbutt that breaks up the pinfall attempt; Malenko rolls over and gets two. This match fucking RULES, it’s just a stellar example of high-paced tag team wrestling, and the fans are more into the proceedings than they have been all night. Benoit chops Saturn down and hits a backbreaker for two. Benoit and Malenko isolate Saturn in their corner, double up on him with a drop-toehold/low dropkick combo, and generally continue to keep the offensive output up to the highest quality in this contest. Malenko wraps a sleeper hold on Saturn, and Raven has to rush in and break it up with a boot before Benoit jumps in and gets rid of him. Benoit covers Saturn – no tag – and gets two. He tries a Northern Lights with a bridge, but nope, only two again. He decides the hell with it and just tosses Saturn to ringside to get beaten down by Malenko. The Horsemen try a double-team in the ring again, but Saturn escapes and gets a flash rollup on Malenko that Benoit breaks up. Malenko goes to a headlock that Saturn fights up from and back suplexes out of. It’s a second hot tag segment! Raven throws forearms at both Horsemen and clotheslines Malenko to the floor. Saturn tosses Raven a chair, which Raven sets up and drop toeholds Benoit into for a pop. Meanwhile, Saturn tries to hit a splash on Malenko and through a table, but Arn yanks Malenko away and Saturn wipes out. Malenko gets in the ring and avoids a chair shot from Raven, but not an Evenflow. The chair drops onto the back of Raven’s head as he rolls over and covers Malenko. Arn gets on the apron and distracts Robinson while Benoit’s stupid ass DIVING HEADBUTTS THE CHAIR to break the pinfall and pops a gusher in the process; Malenko covers as Arn disengages from Robinson, and Robinson counts the three. Yeah, that was good enough to get on my favorites list. RUN IT BACK. See, it just took one match. I’m now properly hyped for the rest of the show, which continues with Scott Steiner and Booker T. ramping up their rivalry with their United States Championship match, which is next. I feel like the result of this match is telegraphed by one of the competitors already having a singles title, unfortunately. But you know, it’s about the journey, I suppose. Steiner spews invective at various fans as he makes his way to the ring. Booker T. shakes hands and kisses babies on his way to the ring. I’m sure Pump is disgusted. Yeah, he’s so disgusted that he has to get his rage out by yelling at Penzer for some reason. He yells at fans at ringside and looks like he might ‘roid rage on them. He cusses at dudes and swipes at their hats and shit. Half these fans are sauced, man, it looks like all of Puyallup pulled up on this show, and that Puyallup set is typically drunk and mouthy. Steiner and the Puyallup set yelling a bunch of homophobic slurs at one another is almost an inevitability, a natural consequence of getting those two parties in the same place and time together. Steiner hops the railing to yell at some dudes, and come on, that’s definitely Puyallup set instigating this stuff. Maybe some guys from Fife, Auburn, and Covington are sprinkled in there, too. Look, you’re not here for me to critically evaluate the crowd at this rare Pacific Northwest WCW show. You’re here to read about some wrestling, dammit! Steiner finally gets in the ring, where he gets top position on Booker and clubs him in between yelling at the front row. Steiner lets Booker back up and promptly gets dropkicked and arm dragged. Steiner falls to the floor, but Booker avoids the obligatory ringside brawl…for now. Steiner collar-and-elbows with Booker, backs him into the corner, and clubs him with forearms and elbows. Man, Steiner has figured out that secret sauce in the past two months. Also, it helps that he’s a ‘roid raging nasty piece of work IRL at the time, hitting construction workers with his car because the road is closed and shit. How did this guy not get suspended for long periods of 1999 and 2000? Oh yeah, WCW. Booker explodes with a flying forearm, and then he and Steiner spill outside and just throw shots at one another. It’s a brawl that’s actually a brawl! Back in the ring, Steiner begs off, but Booker boots him and then punches him. This match has some potential in the early going. They’re just throwing hard shots in here; Booker hits two corner lariats that hit with a nice smack, then tries corner punches and gets lifted and crotched, then knocked to the floor. Steiner flings Booker into the rail and chokes him. He grabs a chair and hits Booker with it, and, um, the ref sees it and it’s not a DQ. What the heck? Well, I guess it was on the floor. There’s precedent for the “on the floor, it’s not exactly match-ending levels of illegal” in this company. Steiner continues his control, with clubbing forearms, chokes, and celebratory push-ups and posing. Steiner pie-faces the ref inside the ring. Still no disqualification. This match has slowed down, so the crowd chants STE-ROIDS at Steiner for a while. Puyallup set always goes after your deepest insecurities! Steiner covers for two, then yanks the ref around because he didn’t count quicker. Steiner loads up and kicks Booker in the balls. Johnny Boone is like, I retired from wrestling and became a ref so I didn’t have to take suplexes from Scott Steiner; this match WILL CONTINUE! Steiner is such a contemptible piece of shit that I genuinely don’t see how anyone can cheer for him. He’s too much of a scumbag to even remotely hit “cool heel” status. Steiner locks on a bearhug and quickly transitions it to a belly-to-belly when Booker tries to break it. Steiner tries a vertical suplex, but Booker leaps behind him and hits a DDT, and we get a standing ten-count. This hasn’t been quite the level of the last match, but man, it’s been so good. It’s almost there. These fellas are excellent together. Wonderful chemistry. Both men get to their feet, and Booker wins a roundhouse kick, two lariats, and then wipes out the ref when Steiner pulls him in front of a third Steiner lariat. Steiner tries to take advantage of this, but Booker hits an axe kick and a pancake, then Spinaroonies up and hits a Houston Side Kick that would get three if the ref were awake. Well, Booker getting a visual three reinforces the likely finish of this match. Book goes to the ref and revives him, but Steiner clubs him back down. Still, Booker reverses a Steiner leap and hits a spinebuster, then goes up for a missile dropkick. In desperation, Steiner gets to his feet and topples into the ropes to crotch him. Steiner follows up and manages a top-rope Frankensteiner, then grabs the ref and uses his hand to count…but Booker kicks out at about 2.7. Steiner’s like MAN, FUCK THIS and loads his fist. Steiner misses with his first punch, but tags Booker in the dome when Booker has him up in a vertical suplex. Booker topples over, Steiner gets Boone over to count, and this time he gets three. Gonna be honest, this is a match that is on the borderline between my Favorites list and the Good Matches for a YouTube Playlist list. Steiner was such a despicable heel and Booker was a great fiery babyface who endured and then came back before falling to some nonsense and jibber jabber. Honestly, yeah, I’m throwing it on the top list. I really loved the fuck out of this thing. It’s not shocking that these fellas wrestled for the big gold on the final WCW show. This is the first time since SuperBrawl VII in 1997 that I’ve watched a WCW show in the Nitro era with two matches that I’ve placed on my Favorites list (which, huh, is only 21 matches long; I'm pickier than I thought). After an uneven start, this show really picked it up. Rey and Madden talk at the desk, but the levels are fucked up as usual. Oh, WCW. No one can hear a damned thing they’re saying. Kevin Nash (w/Lex Luger and Liz) faces Goldberg in the semi-main. I think we’ve peaked w/r/t this show's quality, and now we're on the downslope. Here’s Nash to do some mic work before the match, so yeah, we’ve peaked. Nash hits Scott Hall’s catchphrase, then his catchphrase. The crowd is very into all of this. They love everyone involved. Nash gets leverage on the collar-and-elbow and gets Goldberg in the corner, then hits a series of kneelifts and a few punches before going to the boot choke. The crowd looks to the entrance while Nash frames an elbow, but I don’t think it’s anyone relevant. It was just two dudes from Puyallup having a drunken fight, probably. Anyway, Liz gets on the apron to distract Mickey Jay so that Nash can kick Goldberg in the balls. Hey, this match stinks so far. A small section of the crowd starts chanting for Sting for some reason. Maybe boredom. Goldberg continues to eat offense and Nash gets two off a side slam. Seriously, Goldberg has gotten in zero offensive moves so far. We’re like three minutes in! I’m assuming that Goldberg explodes up and wins it anyway. Yeah, Goldberg ducks a big boot, hits a shoulderblock, and goes to town. He takes Nash over with that vertical suplex-y judo-throw-y sort of deal he does as a signature, then does a little rope-a-dope and scores punches while ducking Nash strikes. He sets up for a spear, and Nash leapfrogs it; Mickey Jay catches the brunt of the blow. Here comes the gaga: Luger hits Goldberg with a chair. Nash gets up, plus the straps down, and sets up for a Jackknife. Goldberg returns Nash's earlier ball shot and holds on to Nash’s lil’ berries while talking shit to him, which is rude. Luger tries to interfere, gets his ass kicked, and tumbles to the floor. Goldberg lands a spear on Nash and then Jackhammers him as Jay comes to his senses and counts the three. That wasn’t very good, but I didn’t want to claw my eyes out or anything. I’m good with future Goldberg/Nash matches, I think. The Starrcade match was better, but these two were never going to have a straight-up good match against one another. It's main event time! OK, while we wait for the contenders to enter, let me tell you that I fully believe that Ric Flair has been so on point as a greedy, grasping delusional heel that he should be spearheading the next great WCW storyline. Flair’s got the presidency for life, so Flair the despot is the obvious hot storyline that can carry the company through the next few months. He can forcibly disband the nWo, expand his backup by not only relying on the Horsemen, but bringing in a phalanx of wrestling security guys to do his bidding (which would also give some young guys a high-profile position on television). He’s got interesting matchups with Goldberg to return to, with a babyface Nash (since Nash is going to turn babyface soon anyway, almost certainly), and with Sting (their feud is eternal). Tweener Page is also an interesting feud possibility, and look, heel Flair vs. heel Scott Steiner is a worthy program, too. David Flair having to watch as his father goes completely insane with power over what he’s done is such compelling television that it even makes David Flair worth having in the company! They’re obviously not going to do that, but they should have. I sense that they’re going to start hot potato-ing the World Championship like they’re sort of doing with the tag titles right now, but that’s a huge mistake. This has been the first time in 1999 that they’ve had an angle that’s firing on, if not all cylinders, most of them. And look, Flair’s one of the few guys in the company who can consistently make magic when he talks, so they should center him in their main event angles in this era where talking matters a lot! He can talk, he works a style that WCW fans love, fucking run with him in this position! Okay, I’m done. Randy Savage has entered the post-“Pomp and Circumstance” era. Oh man, I’m feeling some feelings about that. Savage enters with Gorgeous George because Savage has watched enough episodes of RAW to understand where the business is going in the United States. Tony S. says that Flair was forced to make this match. HOW. TELL ME. I CARE ABOUT THESE PLOT ISSUES THAT YOU THINK MOST FANS DON’T CARE ABOUT. JUST SAY SCHILLER MADE HIM DO IT. GIVE ME SOMETHING. Look, it’s late, forgive me. Ric Flair is out first, which is nonsense, he’s the champ. Don’t make me go ALL CAPS again, WCW. But I get it, they want Sting out here last, which he is, after Page and Hogan. Sting and Flair pair off, but not for long, as Hogan and DDP wander over and throw punches. I don’t know, I’ll do my best to track things here. Like I said, it’s late. Hogan and Flair end up outside, and Sting tries to turn DDP for a Scorpion Deathlock while they’re indisposed, but Page gets to the ropes. Sting and Page are actually having an enjoyable, pacey singles match in here while Hogan and Page brawl in the aisle. Hey, is this the first Sting/Page match since their meeting in 1998 that was so promising? I am looking forward to them having more singles matches, and as I recall, they trade the World title back and forth on an upcoming Nitro, which is dumb, but whatever. I bet the matches will be good, at least. Sting and Page trade places with Flair and Hogan. Hogan steamrolls Flair. Get this guy outta here. Three guys trying to have a decent match, and one way over-the-hill goof who takes eighty-five percent of the offense and barely sells anything. Hogan is fucking terrible. Look at this goof Hulk Up on a few Flair chops. This routine stinks. Sting puts the Deathlock on Page in the ring, but Hogan hits the legdrop on Flair right next to him, so Sting has to let it go to break up the pinfall attempt. Flair starts to attack Hogan’s knee, and he’s gracious enough to sell it! Flair locks on a Figure Four while Sting and Page fight outside the ring. I don’t know why they did one of these matches on Nitro and then again on Spring Stampede; I fully believe that this match would have more impact and feel very fresh if they hadn’t done one six days ago! As it is, it feels like I’m sorta watching a repeat. Anyway, Page breaks up Flair’s Figure Four, but then he pops a Hitman-like ringpost Figure Four on Hogan! Sting has to come over and break it up. Dellinger and a trainer help the (kayfabe, I assume, but maybe he's got a legit injury that this kayfabe injury is covering for) injured Hogan away from ringside. Let’s get this bum outta here and make it a triple threat. Eric Bischoff is apparently at the show and comes to check on Hogan. Honestly, I forgot these two were still nWo buddies. Bischoff drove Flair to that beating in a random Florida field and pretty much vanished from television right afterward. Sting beats up Flair while Page chills out in the corner and lets it happen. Flair throws chops that Sting no-sells, but that’s okay because Sting rules. Sting disposes of Flair, and Page then jumps Sting and gets a quick two count off a lariat. Page works over Sting inside the ring while a young man in a baseball cap and sporting a goatee from a certain SeaTac exurb (probably) just goes OFF on the downed Flair at ringside, spewing all sorts of vicious invective at him while he lays there. Flair makes it back to the ring in time to see Sting hit a Stinger Splash. Page tries to hook a Diamond Cutter, but Sting blocks it and hits a face crusher. Sting dumps Flair again and tries a Tombstone, but Page knees his way out, reverses it, and drills it for two. Flair comes up from behind and dumps Page, but Sting continues to be his Kryptonite, and the Stinger, not Flair, is the one who lands a vertical suplex, then crawls over and covers for a 2.5. This has turned into the typical triple threat where two guys fight while one lays around, unfortunately. It’s not bad, but it’s what it is. But wait! They change the formula up. Flair locks a sleeper on Sting, and Page gets up and rushes in to lock a sleeper on Flair. Sting gets out of it by hitting Flair with a jawbreaker, which causes Flair to crack Page’s jaw against the crown of his head as he falls. That spot was kinda contrived, kinda creative, but the crowd dug the hell out of it. I think I liked it. Everyone’s down for an eight count before they all get up; Page and Flair attack Sting with strikes, but Sting, uh, Stings Up and lands a double clothesline and a bunch of strikes. Sting lands a Stinger Splash on Flair and locks him in a Scorpion Deathlock, but Page clubs Sting from behind to break it. Page tries to suplex Sting, but Sting hops out and lands a Scorpion Death Drop, then covers, but only gets two after Flair breaks it up. Flair locks Sting in a Figure Four while Page is still down. Alas, Sting is able to power up and turn the hold until he reaches the ropes. Flair refuses to break the hold no matter what Macho says, so Mach drags Flair back to the middle of the ring while he’s still got Sting locked up and drills a Savage Elbow straight into Flair's heart. When referee Savage tells you to break a hold, you fucking break it, Flair, you dummy. Sting is still hurt from the extended Figure Four, though, which is tough luck for him. He’s in no position to break things up when Flair swings at Page; Page ducks and then hooks Flair in a Diamond Cutter and lands it for three. There’s something poetic about Savage being the one to count the three for Page’s first world title win. But also, let’s be honest, WCW fumbled what was probably their last chance to catch fire with a hot storyline. Dammit, WCW. Anyway, this was a good show, but really, it was mostly uneven stuff that was bolstered by two awesome matches in Benoit/Malenko vs. Raven/Saturn and Booker T./Scott Steiner. It’s easily the best WCW PPV since Bash at the Beach 1998, but the undercard just didn’t bring enough quality for me to plant the “great” label on this sucker.

Thunder Interlude – show number fifty-eight – 7 April 1999 "The WCW Gang is sorta on fire going into Spring Stampede" Other than the new WCW logo at the front of the opening, everything else about Thunder looks the same…I’m sorta glad that WCW neglects Thunder in this case…Not everything sounds the same, as I get a break from Tony S. and Heenan on Thursdays now…Or Wednesdays sometimes, as is the case with this show…Though now that I think about it, this is a taped show, so maybe it’ll be post-Spring Stampede that we get a set update…We’ll see… I don’t think Tenay has a great voice for lead PBP…I like him as part of a three-man booth…But I’m just not a huge fan of his voice for long stretches…His pitch?...Timbre?...I don’t know enough about voices to pick out what my issue is…I much prefer Scott Hudson, and hope that by the end of this summer, I’ll be up to 2000 in this watch, which is when I think he joins the desk… Evan Karagias is back, and he has braids now!...Karagias opens the show against Rey Misterio Jr., who is carrying multiple belts around like he’s Ultimo Dragon…Hey, I miss Ultimo Dragon…Bring him back, WCW…Karagias loos like a million bucks, but he’s quite awkward…Rey is so good even at 24 (!) that he’s going to have a good match with anyone…Tenay promotes Bret Hart on the 1AM NBC talk show…You know, the thing you fall asleep in front of because you’re too lazy to go to your bedroom after Conan’s show ends… This match starts out solid…They have an obligatory ringside brawl…Back in the ring, Karagias works the arm and locks on a headlock…As I think that Karagias working on the arm makes no sense, Larry Z. happens to point out that maybe working a leg to kill Rey's running would be better…Yeah, and maybe starting that work on it earlier in the match…After a commercial break, Karagias continues to control with another headlock…Tenay encourages everyone at next week’s live Thunder to do the whole LARRY chant thing… This match hit a black hole of suck once Karagias was given a long control segment…OK, let me walk back my earlier “have a good match with anyone” comment about Rey…Karagias is so out of ideas that he goes into another chinlock after a bunch of strikes…Rey fights out of it, and they do a contrived springboard leveraged guillotine legdrop where Karagias has to hold onto the ropes so he can hang there to get legdropped…Yikes, that is some fake shit….Finally, Karagias starts working this match like he probably should have from the jump…Using his size advantage and vascularity to hit powerbombs or try for press slams…Karagias goes up top, gets caught, and eats a rana for the loss…Boy oh boy, did Rey give Karagias too much…I look forward to finding out how many matches Karagias won on Worldwide to get this title shot at Rey… Recap: Bret Hart calls out Goldberg, tricks the big dummy… Hype video: Nash vs. Goldberg… Wrath faces Damian 666…I think WCW does their Festival de Lucha show soon…Their goal to get a WWF Super Astros-style show going failed as badly as WWF trying to get Super Astros going did…I’ve gotten bits and pieces of the story from Bischoff and Konnan, but I need to look up a fuller accounting of what happened…Tenay stumps for the crowd doing LARRY chants again, this time at an upcoming Thunder at Penn State…Somebody in production really loves the energy of the LARRY chanting, which honestly I didn’t realize went on into 1999…It became a thing Nitro attendants did (except for in Canada, I guess)…Wrath dominates, Damian makes a comeback, Wrath settles things down with a Meltdown for three… Gene Okerlund interviews Konnan in the ring…You know, I wonder why the heck WCW didn’t wait until after Spring Stampede to make their set and logo changes…I mean, I get that they thought the Nitro at the MGM Grand in Vegas was a big Nitro, so they made changes for it…But it would make more sense to make any and all changes after a huge PPV, and at the same time at least in my opinion…Konnan hits his fucking Catchphrase Roulette…Finally, he talks to Gene…He can’t pronounce the word “stampede” correctly or understand how Disco got into the Wolfpac… Juventud Guerrera is a heel again (still?), I guess?...He leads down Disco Inferno in the La Cucaracha get-up…I guess Disco coming to the ring in that get-up at the Club La Vela had a point after all…Juvi interprets for Cucaracha, who can’t speak English, supposedly…Juvi says that Cucaracha says that Konnan stinks and so does his music video…Konnan opens up on both guys and clears the ring…Good for Tenay that he actually recognizes Disco almost instantly this time around…He was sure struggling on Nitro at Club La Vela to identify him… Recap: Goldberg and Nash have beef on the previous Nitro… For the first time since Uncensored, Mikey Whipwreck makes an appearance on a Nitro or Thunder…It’s an ECW reunion!...Whipwreck faces Hardcore Hak (w/Chastity)…A quick look at Cagematch says that this is Mikey’s first match since the PPV…The guy only spends five months in the company…Huh…I took care only to scan the logos on the left and the dates, but not the results…However, I’m feeling confident that I know who wins this one… There’s an obligatory ringside brawl…Whipwreck lands a side Russian to Hak against the guardrail…There’s a commercial break…We come back to Whipwreck putting Hak in the Tree of Woe and landing a dropkick to a chair across Hak’s face while Hak’s hung upside down…Whipwreck tries a corkscrew splash, but Hak rolls out of the way and Whipwreck wipes out right on top of the chair…Hak hits his own springboard legdrop with Whipwreck draped over the ropes…At least he dropped him gut-first, which doesn’t look as contrived… Hak lands another slingshot legdrop to Whipwreck with the chair on his face…Chastity tosses Hak a kendo stick, but Whipwreck grabs the chair and stabs at Hak’s knee in desperation…Whipwreck takes the kendo stick and batters Hak with it in the head…Hak ducks the third swing and grabs it, then yanks it back and lands a stick-assisted side Russian for three…Bam Bam runs down after the bell and drills Hak with a Greetings…Chastity hits Bam Bam with the kendo stick…It has no effect…She drops the stick and has to dive out of the way as Bam Bam swings it at her…That started out like it would be a nothing TV match and ended up being incredibly fun!... Hype video: Big Poppa Pump, Scott Steiner… Super Calo’s nutty ass is out next...Ooh, he’s facing off with Blitzkrieg…Calo and Blitz trade arm wringers, but it’s a tease, that’s all, they know what I want to see, and they’re making me anticipate it…Calo hits a wild springboard missile dropkick that sends Blitz to the floor…Blitz tries to re-enter the ring, but Calo puts double boots to Blitz and then lands a senton bomb from the ring to the floor…Calo locks on a sort of octopus hold back in the ring…He’s so awkward, but I dig him…Blitz scores a flash roll-up for two…They do a bunch of counters before Blitz hits his own missile dropkick, then gets absurd air on a flipping suicide dive… I LOVE THE MOVEZ~…It’s weird because I am usually left cold by a lot of modern matches full of dive after dive, but this rules, and I’ve liked a lot of the dive-heavy singles matches that I’ve seen during this watch…Ooh, Blitzkrieg/Juvi is on for Spring Stampede according to Tenay!...This is your chance, WCW…Put it on first as a truly hot cruiserweight opener!...Blitzkrieg flips himself into back suplex position and gets punished…Calo tries a shoulder charge in the corner and hits it, but goes back to the well and gets punished…Blitz tries a complex victory roll, but only gets two…Blitz tries another complex move and gets tilt-a-whirl slammed for two…Calo tries to run the ropes, but Blitz follows him in and trips him, then barely lands a Sky-Twisting Moonsault for three…Fun, fun, fun!... After a WCW wrestling figure ad, we get a cute little kid on his dad’s shoulders wearing a Wolfpac shirt…He realizes that he’s on camera and hits the 4 LYFE hand sign…That kid was adorable!... Recap: Raven, Saturn, Benoit, and Malenko have tag team beef… Someone fucked up with the Raven’s theme dub-over on this episode…I can clearly hear the “Come As You Are” knockoff playing beneath the dub…I actually think the Raven dub is alright, man…But “Come As You Are” is a classic…Even the knockoff version rules…Raven faces Chris Benoit (w/Arn Anderson) tonight…They are a good pairing with excellent chemistry…And of course, on my list of guys who I think way more of after this watch-through, Raven might have climbed the highest… Benoit walks in, walks right up to Raven slumped in the corner, and stomps him out…Heh, that’s pretty good!...Benoit controls and then locks a backbreaker on Raven…Benoit dumps Raven to ringside…Arn tries to attack, but Raven grabs him…Still, it distracts Raven and Benoit baseball slides right into Raven while he’s preoccupied…Here’s your obligatory ringside brawl…It doesn’t last long…Arn complains to Charles Robinson about Raven grabbing him while Benoit re-establishes control… Benoit hits a few stomps, but eats boot on a corner charge…Raven rushes him and slams his head into the opposite buckle…Raven hits rolling verticals (!!!) on Benoit, which is quite the visual for a couple of reasons…Benoit tries a flash Crossface when Raven picks him back up and tries to Irish whip him…Raven scrambles to the ropes, then jawbreakers his way out of Benoit trying to grab him…No, not a break at this point, come on, the match is very good so far… We’re back!...Benoit and Raven perfectly time our return by having Raven breaking up a sleeper, I think, by ramming Benoit backward into the corner…Benoit is tenacious and decides to target Raven’s leg…Makes sense, as Raven has hit some quick, explosive offense in this thing…Raven uses Benoit’s tenaciousness against him and grabs him by the tights and dumps him to ringside as Benoit advances…Raven grabs a chair and sets it up in the ring, then shoots Benoit in and lands a drop toehold on the chair…Raven tries to follow up, but Benoit blocks a bulldog-onto-the-chair attempt and then yanks Raven back, slamming Raven’s head onto the folded chair… Benoit tries a diving headbutt, but Raven moves and Benoit butts the chair…There’s a standing ten-count…Raven’s up first, so Arn jumps into the ring and attacks Raven…Arn sets Raven up for a DDT, but Saturn runs in and hits Arn in the back of the neck, then attacks Benoit…Raven sets Arn up for a DDT of his own, but Malenko makes the save…The numbers game gets to Saturn and Raven and the three Horsemen beat down the former Flock members…Malenko hits Saturn with a DVD while Benoit hits Raven with a DDT onto the chair…Ooh, move stealing, the most insulting of things you can do to an opponent…This Thunder has hit a third-straight TV match that was very enjoyable…After the match, Arn chastises the crowd for asking to bring the Horsemen back, but apparently not being pleased at the results… Recap: The Four Corners match from the previous Nitro…If Ric Flair is the president of the company, why would he agree to this?...Obviously, Sting and Savage went over his head to get the Spring Stampede match…But to whom did they go?...I’m sorry, but this plot hole is too big for me to ignore if they fail to address it at some point…The match itself should be interesting…I think it’d be a fairly big mistake to take the belt off Flair, though, and if it happens, I’m going to have to make a few backseat hindsight booking complaints… The Thunder main event is Chris Jericho attempting to wrest the TV title away from Booker T….Jericho does his whole thing where he gets the name of the city wrong…Or the state, actually, as he calls Richmond, West Virginia his favorite town…Even though this was shot before the previous Nitro, I like the idea that Jericho is getting this TV title shot as a make good for losing the previous match by DQ even though Booker didn’t actually eat an attack from Scott Steiner… Booker controls early with a headlock…Jericho tries a few things to get out of it, but fails…He finally uses momentum to shoot Booker out of it and into the ropes, but Booker runs right over him with a shoulderblock…Jericho gets out of a hammerlock and actually wins his own shoulderblock, but he soon eats a superkick…Booker gets two off a body slam…Jericho tries his best, but just can’t keep control for long…Booker hammers him with charging forearms and a roundhouse kick…Jericho tumbles outside and has decided that he’s good with the beating…Booker’s not done, though… This obligatory ringside brawl is short…It’s just Book bashing Jericho into both sides of the guardrail and then marching him back…Jericho cracks me up by charging Booker and yelling YAAAH in a high-pitched voice…Booker back bodydrops him to the floor, but follows up and gets sent into the guardrail…Jericho hits a top-rope back elbow for two…Finally, Jericho has a bit of purchase in this match…He scores a vertical suplex and a senton splash for two…Jericho tries to tie Booker up with strikes and chokes…Jericho’s got a shiner forming under one of his eyes…This has been a pretty stiff match in spots… Booker hops over Jericho on a corner charge and gets his signature counter-rollup for two…Jericho retakes control with a spinning kick, talks some smack to the crowd, then lands a backbreaker and a slam…Jericho takes a whole lot of time to go up top and dives right into a boot…Booker makes his comeback…Axe kick, nasty spinebuster, and uh-oh, Jericho counters a charge with a pancake right into the ref…The ref is out, but Booker hits a Spinaroonie and takes control…Scott Steiner runs down and slams Booker in the head with it when Booker goes up for a missile dropkick…Jericho tries to lock on a Walls, but Stevie Ray (!) runs down and hits Jericho with a slapjack…Booker rolls over and covers Jericho for three…Stevie’s feeling that he can bring Booker into the B-Team, I guess, and maybe re-establish some control over him…I wonder how Scott Steiner is going to address Stevie countering his plans in the nWo locker room...Hey, this was a fun match that was actually enhanced by the run-ins!... This Thunder was enjoyable as fuck…There was a straight hour-plus of awesome wrestling action on this show…I dug the hell out of it, and it somehow got me more excited for Spring Stampede as a taped show…That’s a heck of an achievement for a taped show…I give it a WOOOOOOO…

Goldberg kicked him in the head, retired him, and might have ended up giving him long term issues with the stroke since concussions raise stroke risk. Bret is a taciturn dude who is bitter about a lot of stuff, but he gets to be bitter about this, IMO. I would be, too.

I feel like it was once DDP kept... ...saying exactly stuff like this, but to other wrestlers. Page is a great babyface, excellent at fighting up from underneath, etc., but his babyface mic work is IMO legendarily bad.

Gonna respectfully disagree with you on this, sir, if only because analysts were making these critiques at the time it happened. I was in my "reading USA Today" phase, and I remember this being a strong line of critique even then. This is spot on, though.

Show #184 – 5 April 1999 “The one that debuts this utter abomination of a logo, set, and opening” That video where Sting stands around in the rain looking bummed before jumping down from a windowsill and then wielding a baseball bat happens; it’s the one that ended the previous Thunder. OH NO OH NOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK IT’S THE UGLY WCW LOGO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS OPENING WITH THE NITRO GIRLS ON GREEN SCREEN? WHAT IS THIS SHITTY NITRO THEME? I HATE IT MAKE IT STOP THAT WAS UGLY AND STUPID AND I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE So now Goldberg is stomping through the backstage area holding a hopper like the one Flair used to draw a number last week. This new Nitro set is so fucking ugly. What the fuck? Nick Lambros, you fucking idiot. They have Heenan and Schiavone sitting ringside again, which is bullshit. I loved the commentary desk being back near the ramp. Wrestlers running up on the commentary desk is a Nitro staple, dammit! I am not a man against change. However, I am a man against stupid changes that are fucking dumb and ugly and shitty. Gene Okerlund is in the ring to talk to Goldberg. Goldberg comes out, and look at this logo that makes up the stage. You can’t read it! Who the fuck picked a logo that you can’t read as the logo for the number two wrestling company in the country? If Lambros is still alive, they should have dragged him onto camera for that Who Killed WCW? special to make him explain himself. Goldberg points out that he hasn’t been on PPV lately, which is true, but he blames it on President Flair rather than on the dummies who book these shows. He promises to pull a name from HIS hopper and then fight them on PPV. Kevin Nash comes down in a Red Wings jersey and says that he might be pulling a Bret Hart from last week, so spear him at your risk. Nash puts himself over for ending the streak, which gets boos even though he came out to a huge face pop. They face off and Nash says that there’s no need for the hopper because he’s going to fight Goldberg at Spring Stampede. Goldberg responds that he considers the chance to wrestle Nash again a nice Christmas present even though it is April, sir, and also, wouldn’t that be a nice Hanukkah present for you instead? Ric and Arn sit in the back and I guess are thrown off by the Nash and Goldberg thing? Or maybe it’s a ruse and they were actually watching something else on the monitor, but we’re supposed to assume that it was Nash and Goldberg? I'm unsure. No offense to Kimberly, but subtracting her from the Nitro Girls and adding Sharmell has made the dance routines better. Sorry, Kim. ☹ WCW insists on continuing to inflict Riki Rachtman on me. He shills the WCW hotline. It’s dawned on me that the bickering between Schiavone and Tenay and Heenan might have foreshadowed some commentary desk changes that were about to happen. Kendall Windham sucks, man. He’s got a kendo stick in his hand, and hopefully his opponent Hak (w/Chastity) uses his own kendo stick to beat the shit out of this jobber in like two minutes in this Kendo Stick match. I’m beginning to feel even more like I understand twiztor’s point about WCW right now seeming almost disconnected from what came before it, and it took the set and music changes to really drive home the feeling that he was talking about in the posts above this one. Kendo stick shots make a nice sound, so this is probably the best possible match between Hak and Kendall Windham that you’re possibly going to get in WCW. I guess Kendall’s kind of violating Hak with the stick, maybe? I don’t know, the camera cut is weird and shows nothing of what Kendall is doing, but the announcers’ response indicates that something particularly nasty is happening. Anyway, Chastity breaks that up with her own kendo stick shot. Instead of just hitting each other with the sticks, they try a bunch of wrestling moves with the stick, and I appreciate the attempt at creativity, but I’m not sure this was good. Chastity grabs both kendo sticks for a little while, and these fellas have a wrestling match, which is not what I want. This match isn’t good, but these fellas are trying pretty hard, so I can’t feel that much venom for their performances here. While the fellas at the desk perv on Chastity in her schoolgirl’s skirt, Hak and Kendall go back and forth until Hak lands a kendo stick shot to the face, then hits a kendo stick-assisted side Russian for three. Tony S. tries to let us know that Meng will face Scott Steiner in a semifinal match within the U.S. Championship tournament, but the levels on the new WCW music make it hard to hear him. The Meng hype video plays on the outro. Hey, we didn’t ever finish the first round of this tournament, unless Jericho/Adams was supposed to be the fourth and final U.S. Championship Tournament match. I don’t believe the commentators indicated that it was. And if it was, why the fuck would Chris Adams be getting a shot in this tournament? We get a shot of Goldberg storming into Ric Flair’s room and then being shocked to find Lex Luger and Liz there waiting for him. Then, it’s right back to break. [Editor's note: This blip of a segment went completely unexplained.] Arn comes up on Kevin Nash getting some coffee and tells Nash that Flair wants to see him in his office. Konnan comes to the ring to face Lizmark Jr. (w/jobber entrance). Konnan does some slightly awkward mat work to start, but you know, it’s pretty good work for him! Tony S. talks about Disco making fun of Konnan’s music video, and you know what, I’m going to pause and watch it since they’ve excised them from these recordings. OK, yeah, that video is still one of the funniest wrestling-related things ever. OIL OF OLAY, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY is the most quotable thing, but Disco’s off-beat rapping as he tries to read the inaccurate lyrics that he scribbled down is also super funny. People don’t mention Disco laying on his back and spinning like an overturned tortoise to try and mimic the B-Boys dancing in the video enough, either. That is genuinely one of the top five comedy things in pro wrestling, period. OK, back to the match. It’s an alright match, folks! Lizmark is a good pro wrestler. He hits a pretty springboard dropkick and feels like maybe he’s going to win this thing! Alas, he only scores a handful of two counts in this bout. After a requisite ringside brawl, Konnan trades slow flash pinfall attempts with Lizmark before drilling a back kick off a leapfrog, hitting a sit-out facebuster, and wrapping on a Tequila Sunrise for the win. Wrestlers really should be on alert whenever Konnan hits a leapfrog by this point. Ric hassles Arn about where Kevin Nash is. Nash knocks and is escorted into the room. We don’t see what they say to one another, but I assume that Flair is going to try and widen the Nash/Hogan split in their conversation with one another. President Flair is the best thing about the main event scene and pretty much everything he’s doing is logical and interesting from a character standpoint. A Scott Steiner hype video plays, and then Flair and Nash are walking through the offices in the backstage area and seeming pretty friendly with one another. Hulk Hogan spots them and wonders what’s up, but Nash blows him off. There are a lot more breaks in this formatting; there was a break both before and after that last short segment, which is the second time that I’ve been pelted with ads both before and after a short segment on this show. Kevin Nash sits in a stairwell and has a conversation with Charles Robinson; Hogan comes upon this convo; Robinson jets as soon as he sees Hogan. Hogan wants to know why Nash is talking to Robinson, and for that matter, why Nash won’t return his calls. He asks if they’re still on the same team; Nash mockingly says something like, Hey, don’t kick the crap out of me like you did in the first Nitro of the year, and Hogan’s like, C’mon man, Torrie was just talking, why are you so mad, women say a lot of things and you shouldn’t listen to most of them. OK, I elaborated that last part, but that really is basically what he said. Nash reaffirms his partnership with Hogan, but he makes a face as Hogan turns to leave that indicates that maybe he’s not being on the level with the Hulkster! Ric Flair comes to the ring for an interview with Gene Okerlund. Flair says that Goldberg can’t be the man without the belt, then says that he likes how Nash took initiative to call Goldberg out and that he was inspired by that to move the World title match off Spring Stampede and onto this Nitro. Hulk Hogan charges out immediately, and Flair ducks out of the ring. The fix is in, I’m pretty sure! Hogan gets a pop for threatening Flair; Flair says that if Hogan touches him before the match, said match is off. They both get in the ring and squawk at one another for a little while, when Diamond Dallas Page’s music hits and Page comes to join the conversation. Page butts in to demand entry into the title match for the night. Page has zero claim to a title match, and Flair rightly says he’s good with all that nonsense, though Hogan is into the idea. Goldberg’s music hits, and this feels just like a WWF Attitude-style segment. We cut to Arn in the back being annoyed about DDP and Goldberg blowing up this carefully planned spot. Goldberg wants in the match, and Flair is doubly disinterested in letting him in the match. Goldberg tosses Flair, and Flair says this after he dives out of the ring: YOU’RE IN A LOTTA TROUBLE, YOU’RE IN A LOTTA TROUBLE, YOU *suddenly stops and points at jeering child in front row* YOU SHUT UP KID *turns back to the ring as crowd laughs* YOU’RE IN A LOTTA TROUBLE, AND YOU’RE IN A LOTTA TROUBLE, AND I’LL SEE YOU THREE IN THE RING Unhinged mad-with-power Ric Flair is some pretty great television! Hogan and Goldberg threaten each other in the aisle, but also make an agreement: Hogan will take out Flair, Goldberg will take out DDP, and then they can face one another for the gold. Goldberg is fine with that! The commentary desk’s musings on what they just saw is interrupted by the Wolfpac theme. Tony S. was expecting a break at this point in the proceedings and didn’t get one. Yes, Tony S., it indeed is a new format for the show. Scott Steiner comes to the ring for his tournament match with Meng. Before the match, Steiner does his shtick. He calls the Las Vegas crowd “desert-dwelling, genetically-deficient scumbags” and then threatens DDP. He says that if Page wanted revenge against him, well why didn’t he, and I quote, “get in the U.S. tag tournament for the U.S. title.” Oh, Steiner. Then he declares that the stipulation getting to sleep with Kimberly as a result of their match would hold up in a court of law, but he’s got too many other ladies to knock down to press a case against Page. This is truly an objectionable man, and I’d like to see him get punched in the face. Scott Steiner has arrived! Steiner says he won’t wrestle DDP again until Page gives his property – that being his wife, I suppose, in this very retrograde man's mind – up for one night with Steiner. Meng enters the ring while Steiner threatens Tony S. and then a few fans. A kid yells YOU SUCK at him and he stops to yell back SHUT UP. It is some basic heeling, but performed at a high level. I think he’s got a few fans legit heated at him. He is entirely unlikeable in every way and is now killing it in this heel role. Steiner and Meng have an acceptable match while Tony S. relates an update from Ric Flair’s office about the main event. The update: No tags in this Four Corners match, thank goodness. All four men are going at it at the same time. Steiner meanwhile gets control of the match and hits a belly-to-belly suplex, then dumps Meng to the floor for an obligatory ringside brawl. These fellas don’t work particularly well together, but Steiner is a compelling worker with his yelling at people while he hits moves and stuff, so I like this well enough. And Meng hits multiple dropkicks, including one from the top! So that’s cool. Meng signals for the TDG, but Steiner escapes it with an eye rake and a low blow, then hits a belly-to-belly suplex and gets a leveraged pinfall with his feet on the ropes to send himself to Spring Stampede and the finals. I think I liked this enough that it’s a Charming Uniquity. I can’t say that it was good, but it was quite compelling, especially after the ringside brawl. Break. Nitro Girls. Tony S. hypes the show. Break. I really need to get the ad-free version of Peacock if this is the new format. For some stupid-ass reason, they do a bait-and-switch with some guy who rigs the set wearing a black coat and looking like he might be Sting, though when he turns around, he is decidedly not Sting. Then, there’s the Sting hype video again and another break. At least they don’t jam an ad into this one. Flair is back in his office prepping for his match later tonight talking about throwing a party on the company dime when he talks to someone just off camera, chastising them for letting themselves into his office without his invitation. They are just silent, saying nothing, and I guess holding a camera that films him? I don’t get this segment; it makes no sense. Flair tells whoever is there to “turn it off and go,” and we leave this weirdo segment that I hope has an explanation or purpose later. [Editor's note: Again, nope] A Hacksaw Jim Duggan hype video plays that recaps his successful battle against cancer. After that, Lenny Lane comes to the ring to do a clean job for ol’ Hacksaw. Alright, I'm glad you put the metaphorical 2x4 to cancer, but let’s move it along, Duggan. Enough with the flag waving and the U-S-A chants. The match stinks, as you’d guess. I do admit to looking forward to Duggan being forced to join Team Canada, which I remember happening. Or did he turn of his own volition? Either way, I guess I can suffer the occasional Duggan match to get to that angle. This one is far too long, and it probably only goes five minutes. Get Duggan in and out of the ring in three, and let’s move on. Duggan wins with the Old Glory kneedrop. Rachtman shills the WCW Hotline. He’s aware that no one likes him. I mean, he’s right, but don’t make that a part of your shill! We get a recap of Hogan working things out with the B-Teamers from last week. After that, the B-Teamer battle royal happens. I must once more remark on how “Rockhouse” is playing, and the crowd is dead. Can you imagine that? “Rockhouse” hit in 1996, and people lost their shit. Just under three years later, and look at the crowd. Think about what these fuckers in WCW's creative did to “Rockhouse.” At least Stevie Ray and the fantastic hat that he’s wearing made me feel a bit better. So, Stevie, Crush, Horace, and Virgil are in this thing. I love that Scott Norton decided that he was too good for any of this shit. He's right, too! That is absolutely a logical thing for his character to decide! This match is deadly dull. After what feels like a long time with lots of mediocre striking involved, Virgil is the first eliminated; I think he’s supposed to eliminate himself when he whiffs on a running lariat, but Crush grazes him with a boot to finally help him take his bump to the floor. Crush and Horace strike a deal to dump Stevie next; they double up on him for a bit, but Stevie fights back. Horace low-blows Stevie, but then he fights with Crush over who should dump Stevie. Crush tries to press Horace to the floor, but Horace eye rakes his way out, and Stevie clotheslines Crush to the floor. Horace tries to get the jump on Stevie, but he charges Stevie against the ropes and is backdropped to the floor. Good for Stevie! He’s the leader of a bunch of lower-midcard chumps! After a review of Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio Jr.’s tag title win on Nitro, we have the Nitro Girls dancing before Kidman and Misterio defend the tag titles against Raven and Saturn. This match could go either way, but it does make sense to put the belts on Saturn and Raven for the Spring Stampede match if they go that direction. However, I’m already bummed about all the title changes with the tag titles. They were just reactivated, but we’ve already had three different champions in about six weeks. We probably don't need four. Wouldn’t you know it? These teams start off hot and promise a good match with Rey getting caught trying a rana during an offensive flurry and Raven holding him up in the electric chair position so that Saturn can come off the top with a crossbody. Saturn drills Rey with a guillotine legdrop that ends up more like a senton splash. It gets two. Saturn whiffs on an actual senton splash after that, and Kidman comes in and lands a number of dropkicks, facebusters, and bulldogs. Rey and Kidman double-splash Saturn, and Rey makes the cover for two even though he's not legal. And then, get this, they run a commercial break. Why not break in any of the other matches tonight, none of which promise to be as good as this one? Back from break, Saturn wraps up a charging Kidman and belly-to-bellys him OVER the ropes and to the floor. Tony S. and Heenan are aghast at that wild bump that Kidman took. Raven grabs a chair, and as any match involving Raven is Raven’s Rules due to that contract that he negotiated, he drop-toeholds Kidman into the chair. Saturn and Raven put in work on Kidman, who is the FIP hitting him with a number of double-team moves that look great. Raven goes for a powerbomb for the first time in his whole WCW tenure probably, and Kidman hits a facebuster to counter and gets a hot tag. Rey and Saturn work an intricate sequence of counters that end with Saturn dropkicked into the corner. Rey dropkicks Raven into the other corner. He hits a Bronco Buster on Saturn, but leaps into a boot to the crotch from Raven; Raven’s cover gets two. OK, we’re in the finishing run. Both teams trade two counts. Rey crunches Saturn into the ref. Rey springboards toward Saturn, who catches him and hits a DVD (no VR), but the ref is out. Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit run down and destroy Saturn, culminating in a Benoit flying headbutt. They toss Rey on top of Saturn, and Kidman revives the ref to count the three. This was a great sprint, but they put a break in it and then rushed the rest of it, even for a tag sprint with a naturally quick pace. Was this as long as Duggan/Lane when you account for the break? Come on, man. Hulk Hogan does some squats backstage in preparation for his main event match later tonight. Chris Jericho comes to the ring; he seems unsure about the new ramp. Tony S. and Heenan note that they’re not on Thunder anymore, so yeah, I guess all the squabbling at the desk was a fucking angle so they could justify Tony S. and Heenan on Nitro and Tenay and Larry Z. on Thunder. Why not just, you know, make this change without all the shitty squabbling that ruined a bunch of matches? No one needs an angle for commentary changes. Well, I guess Chris Jericho’s match against Chris Adams was a first-round U.S. Championship Tournament match because he’s facing Booker T. next for the second slot in the finals of this tournament. Oh, WCW. Jericho starts out all cocky-like until he runs into a Booker dropkick. Booker hits a lariat and a hook kick, but charges into a Jericho boot and…jumps right out of a Jericho vertical suplex attempt. Jericho isn’t having that, jumps out of Booker’s vertical suplex attempt, and hangs him up, then follows up with a springboard dropkick. This is a pacey back-and-forth match. Jericho tries a Lionsault, but meets Booker’s knees. Booker follows up with an axe kick, then catches a leapfrogging Jericho on a rope run and drills a spinebuster for two. Jericho fights back with a pancake and celebrates, but Booker Spinaroonies up from the impact and lands a Houston Side Kick. Scott Steiner suddenly charges in and swings a chair at Book, but Book ducks it, dumps Booker, and then backdrops a charging Jericho over the top rope and into Steiner. Weirdly, the ref awards the match to Booker even though Booker avoided the chair shot and had things under control. Even Heenan points out how bad the decision is. Unless Jericho’s getting added into the final match after some (technically correct) rulebook posturing, that was a bad finish. Fun sprint, again! But a bad finish. Buff Bagwell faces off with Bam Bam Bigelow next. Bam Bam is headed to Spring Stampede to wrestle Hardcore Hak, if I heard Tony S. correctly earlier in the night. Buff learned a lot from Scott Steiner, as through the power of pantomime, he basically does a Steiner-like HE’S FAT in reference to Bammer. Then, he dances. The run of good matches is probably coming to a close, huh? Buff fights back and lariats Bigelow to the floor. Bam Bam gets back on top with strikes, but Buff uses his quickness to dodge Bam Bam and hit a bunch of his own strikes. He tries a body slam, but Bigelow shifts his weight and falls on top of Buff for two. Bammer chokes and rakes and headbutts. He goes up top for a senton splash, but misses. Buff makes his comeback and gets two on a crossbody before Bam Bam takes control again by blocking an elbow to the face. He tries to lift Buff and, yep, there’s a ref bump, and yep, here come Hak and Chastity. Chastity sprays Bam Bam with a fire extinguisher and blinds him. Buff follows up with a Blockbuster and the ref finds his way through the fog to count the three. That was probably the best possible Bam Bam/Buff match possible in 1999. Nitro Girls. Nash vs. Goldberg hype video. That match got made six days before the show! What could they have done in the build if they gave it three weeks of hype? It’s a shame that they didn’t. The crowd chants WE WANT STING as Buffer introduces the main event. Hmm, I’d forgotten about Sting until then. Oh no, is Sting going to turn heel and help Flair? Please, no. Nash joins commentary for this match. Now, it’s time for our first formal edition of Michael Buffer’s Ring Announcing Quality Control: Flair is “President and CEO of World Championship Wrestling” (nope, just the prez); Goldberg’s signature moves are the “power spear and inverted lift body slam and pin”; and I guess he calls Page the “People’s Champion” because he doesn’t watch Nitro and didn’t update his note cards. The match pops off immediately, and Hogan and Goldberg do indeed pair off with Flair and Page respectively. Hogan Hulks Up like thirty seconds into this thing. Page has to divert himself from fighting Goldberg at ringside to break up a Hogan pinfall attempt off a legdrop. Flair, having gotten himself killed by Hogan after a run of ineffective offense, gets himself killed by Goldberg after a run of ineffective offense. Hogan and Goldberg end up having a ringside brawl while Page beats up Flair with little effort. Page lands a rebound Diamond Cutter, and Goldberg has to hustle to the ring and yank Page off of Flair. This is a pretty fun match, actually. I’m not a huge fan of multi-man matches in this vein, but I’ve always preferred Four Corners matches to Triple Threat matches because you can pair wrestlers off and switch the pairings without having a dip in action, unlike Triple Threats where there’s always someone invariably laying around for awhile so we can have a one-on-one match. The crowd is very focused on where Sting might be, and yeah, where is that guy? Hogan and Goldberg reverse a sloppy small package back and forth for a series of two counts. Nash half-heartedly roots for Goldberg since Goldberg winning means that Nash gets a title shot at Spring Stampede, but he doesn't seem like he's really into the idea. Flair takes a chair from a poor old security guy who was sitting down, maybe he needs that chair to do his job Flair, you utter despicable heel. The chair gets dumped to the side, and I’m waiting for the storyline hook. The action leading to the hook is fun, though! Flair goes tumbling across the desk, and Hogan follows up and pummels him. This does get a bit of that “wild brawl” feel, so kudos to all these guys. While we see Goldberg beat up Page in the ring, we can hear Flair yelling OH MY GOD, OH MY BACK after Hogan hits him with a vertical suplex on the floor. It’s things like that which give this match that sort of wild feel. The MGM Grand crowd is into this, but they also have an eye to the rafters and the ramp, so I think the heat for this is slightly muted as a result. They are into Goldberg no-selling Hogan’s offense or hitting Page with a Jackhammer, but the crowd being trained so well that the finish can’t come before there’s fuckery has taken some of the heat out of things. I mean, they get hot for Goldberg spearing all three guys, one after the other. Goldberg gets two on that last spear to Hogan. Goldberg Jackhammers Hogan, and Nash is late on the run-in, so Hogan has to kick out. Then, somehow, we get a fucking DQ in a Four Corners match on Nash running in. Sting rappels down from the rafters to a huge pop, but oh man, that finish was so crappy that I can’t endorse this match for viewing. So, Sting points to the video boards, and there's a video in which Randy Savage (!!!) does the voiceover to announce that there will be another Four Corners match at Spring Stampede for the WCW World Championship: Ric Flair will face Hulk Hogan, Diamond Dallas Page, and Sting with the title on the line…and Randy Savage as the guest referee. Savage is very, very, VERY clear that there will be a winner in this match, which I thank him for after the shitty finish to this last Four Corners match. So, mixed feelings about this Nitro! I hate the new look, I’m not sure about this new format, but adding Sting and Savage into the title mix is actually pretty interesting! I have no clue where they’re taking this. Anyway, I won’t bump any Stinger Splashes off the score for the ugly Nitro set because we’re stuck with it until the show gets cancelled, but I do have trepidation about what Thunder might look like when I watch that next. Anyway, this was an imperfect, but interesting show that placed multiple matches in the good lists on my master document, so there’s that! 3.25 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

That is a fair point. The text explaining what the different cards do is very small. I'm surprised that they apparently don't have a text re-sizing option. I hope they patch one in.

I got it on PS5, and I regret it; this is a perfect portable game. I'll probably wish list it and wait for a sale on Switch, then buy it again for when I'm traveling.

Balatro is amazing. If you had told me that someone could make a deck-building roguelite that I would even be able to tolerate, much less that I would love, I would have laughed at you. Alas, there is at least one game in every genre, subgenre, and genre-mashup that I will like. I just need to be alive long enough to play it. I'm glad that I lived long enough to play Balatro. I think my only minor complaint is that some of the conditions on the jokers don't make immediate intuitive sense. I've had to look up what a few jokers do, and I've totally misinterpreted some of the cards after reading an explanation. I got stuck on the black deck for quite a few runs before finally getting the right stew of multipliers (and buying an extra hand) to clear it.

Ted Turner talks about wanting his kids to establish themselves without relying on nepotism in his autobiography Call Me Ted, and Teddy actually contributes a blurb to that book confirming this, so this doesn't surprise me.

Thoughts about episode four: Ted Turner spent a lot of his time trying to purchase a network in the '80s. I wonder what the alternate universe where he purchases CBS in the '80s and doesn't feel the need to merge with Time Warner looks like. WCW seasonal prime time specials? WCW streaming on Paramount+? AOL was such a nothing company. They owned nothing valuable. AOL-Time Warner is the dumbest merger ever. What did Time Warner get out of it other than debt and a company that was less valuable as we moved toward the Dot Com Bust? Peter Guber got a mention in this show! I can't possibly take Guber seriously because I've read Hit and Run by Kim Masters and Nancy Griffin (it's my favorite non-fiction book, maybe), which is about Guber and Jon Peters failing upward in Hollywood and running Sony Pictures into the dirt in the early '90s. Of course a carny like Bischoff would hook up with Guber and Mandalay to try and purchase WCW. Whenever I hear Jamie Kellner's name, I first think of Nitro and Thunder being cancelled. The second thing I think of is the writers for the Kellner-retooled Pinky and the Brain and Elmyra taking shots at him in the re-worked theme song: It's what the network wants; why bother to complain? I might have mentioned this before, but I think they shot Bret's stuff in his bar, and now I want to go to Calgary and get a drink at the Hitman's bar. It's pretty maddening that WCW was killed in 2001 and only a decade later, the nascent streaming business grew rapidly and having a wrestling company with an extensive back catalog became more valuable. Nothing has come close to replacing WCW; there's not a big company on television with roots in wrestling from the Mid-Atlantic or South of the United States. As an aside, the Rock sucks, man. This was pointless television, and frankly, I'm pretty sick of seeing that dude's giant head on promotions for everything from alcohol to body wash whenever I go into a store. He was the most pointless talking head in the history of TV docs in this series. In conclusion, I would like him to take his fuckloads of money and go the fuck away for a long time, maybe forever. Seeing him in '98 - '01 WWF on the rare occasions that I re-watch that stuff is enough. Anyway, this was a pointless wrestling thing, but like many pointless wrestling things, I watched it anyway!

The nWo falling to internal strife is fine - if Sting definitively kills them off and is the clear trigger for their death. Or Goldberg. But yeah, that they just trucked along until apparently falling apart over Hogan and Nash having another power struggle, which we just saw a year ago, is the most underwhelming end to the nWo angle possible. I think your posts really highlight for me how bad things were on the babyface side of the ledger. Goldberg's the top babyface. Immediately beneath him are: Hulk Hogan, who isn't a strong babyface in most of the United States Sting, who doesn't yet have a strong direction (but hopefully will get one on the next Nitro that I watch even though I'm pretty sure they're going to turn him heel in the next couple months of shows) Rick Steiner, who was pushed past his ceiling as the number two champion in the company by 2001 Booker T., who is a year away from being a legitimate babyface main eventer Buff Bagwell, who is an entertaining midcard personality, but that's about it So yeah, I think I get where you're coming from, and part of it for me is that they turned four huge babyfaces in about three months (Luger, Nash, Page, Flair). Things do feel weird for that reason.

I think that meta-level stuff is fascinating, is what I forgot to type. So I also enjoy it from the perspective of watching a bunch of vets try to adjust to what's contemporary in 1999.

I partially agree with you. For me, Flair and DDP have clear narrative through lines that make their turns make sense to me. Flair feels that he's gone so soft his own son doesn't respect him, which inspires his heel turn. Everything he's done and said to get to this turn makes perfect sense to me. Page's turn is abrupt, but he was out there getting booed against Steiner, who gets at least a few babyface pops every show. He got wheeled out of Uncensored to boos and DDP SUCKS chants. That he would turn heel on the fans for this reason, and that he would get more aggressive to combat Steiner's aggressiveness after Steiner beat him twice in a few weeks makes sense, too. Those two turning heel make perfect sense IMO. Flair can buy a boo; he just needs to be in Canada or aggressively insulting fans and their sports teams. HOWEVER Hogan turning babyface makes zero sense and has no juice except for in Canada and maybe New York. There is no reason to feel bad for him getting screwed out of the title considering what he's been doing to hold onto it over the last three years. He's completely unsympathetic. I think he's trying to do a Steve Austin-style "act like an aggressive heel, but against other heels" thing that he's very bad at. Nash should never have turned heel and the Wolfpac shouldn't have merged with Hollywood, but it looks like they're going to let him be a tweener who gets his share of cheers because he's fixing to split with Hogan again, and Hogan isn't getting cheered over Nash in most of the United States. Bret is doing a lot of worked shooting, but he was doomed from the jump by booking him as a babyface against Flair for his first WCW feud. The heel turn/faked babyface turn and re-establishing as a heel just finished things off. Sting apparently wanted to go back to doing what got him way over through most of 1996 and 1997 - standing in the rafters, holding a baseball bat. He'll be fine because he will always be a babyface to the WCW crowd, even when they turn him heel, which I'm sure they do at some point in 1999 because I had diehard WCW fan friends who were like WE ALL REFUSE TO BOO THAT MAN. I think that's why when Sting joined the Main Event Mafia in TNA, he would just sort of disappear while the rest of the group heeled it up. Lex Luger's booking has been terrible since he dropped the title back to Hogan. So yes, I think you're right about most of the guys you mentioned, but Flair and Page have turned for reasons that I, at least, find convincing and logical. But I'm also stepping outside of that and looking at it on a meta-level, where WCW is trying to do the sort of cool heel stuff that got Austin, Rock, Nash, and Hall over huge during this era, but with guys who aren't any good at it. Hogan is just not a relevant wrestler in this era anymore. He really needed to go away between 1999 and 2002. It was only when he went back to the WWE and turned into a nostalgia-fueled babyface that he was again a relevant pro wrestler (and it helped that he did jobs to the younger guys sometimes, like tapping out for Angle or getting murked by Brock).

Thunder Interlude – show number fifty-seven – 1 April 1999 "The WCW Gang should probably take a few promo and character work classes from Ric Flair, Chris Jericho, and Raven" Let’s settle in for Thunder, which I hope has fewer Nitro replays like last week’s Thunder, but with better and more compelling wrestling matchups on top of it [Editor's note: It pretty much did!]… Sting and Diamond Dallas Page are back in the mix, which is a definite positive for WCW…Tenay hypes a Sting interview or promo or message or something on the upcoming Nitro…Hulk Hogan versus Ric Flair is apparently on for Spring Stampede... We go to the ring and find out from Gene Okerlund that Raven and Saturn are tagging together again, this time against Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko at Spring Stampede…I still think it’s too early for a Raven and Saturn reunion to have the fullest impact, but I do like that they’re friends…Raven and Saturn are a couple of goofs, man, I dig them…Raven mentions fighting with Saturn all the time when they were children....The myriad of chair shots to the dome have him (kayfabe) misremembering that he fought with Saturn over the charms of Beulah McGillicuddy at summer camp…Saturn: “That was TOMMY, you goof!”…I get that WCW fans would have no idea who Beulah and Tommy are, but beyond being an Easter egg for people who also kept up with ECW, this internal consistency in Raven’s character is one of my favorite things about wrestling… Raven is just free-wheeling it out here...He's a guy who should get mic time every week, especially in this era…He concedes that maybe they screwed up a bit by causing Benoit and Malenko to lose the titles right before they face off in a tag match…He’s fine with it, though, as he recalls that he’s never liked Benoit, as their battles in 1997 would attest…He borrows Chris Jericho’s nickname for “Stinko” Malenko and in fact credits by name the originator of said nickname…Saturn says since they helped Kidman and Misterio win the tag titles, they deserve a title shot…I’m not sure that Raven is ever going to be embraced as a babyface in WCW, or that the Horsemen will be embraced as total heels, so the crowd is mixed on Raven and Saturn crapping on the Horsemen…But I was entertained…Don’t get it twisted…I love talking when talking is fun or good…WCW just doesn’t do much of that… It's meathead ath-a-lete Erik Watts! While many wrestling fans save their Watts Kid vitriol for Erik, personally, I’m just pleased that a) Joel’s not out here and b) doing commentary…Erik working the occasional Thunder match is acceptable to me…Watts is matched up against Norman Smiley…They don’t let Smiley do the Big Wiggle on camera anymore…I get it, but come on, that is a crass-but-fun move…Watts tries to dance, and it is as bad as you’d expect…Watts only has like three seconds of a control (a headlock) before the crowd starts chanting BOOOOORING…I mean, look, Smiley should probably guzzle Watts in a couple of minutes, but that’s not how WCW works, folks…I do think that this would be properly booked if it were on RAW, though…Smiley with the win in 1:37 with a Big Wiggle -> Norman Conquest… Smiley hits a wind-up slam and then WIGGLES!!!...Of course, the camera cuts way in close on Watts laying on the mat…Watts hits a chokeslam and then celebrates in meathead ath-a-lete style…He lands a powerbomb into the top buckle…I have zero idea why Watts is getting that type of offense in a Thunder match, but okay…Out of nothing, Smiley just standing switches when back to his feet and locks on the Norman Conquest for the win… Chris Jericho harasses J.J. Dillon in the back…Jericho is wearing a t-shirt that promotes his old website…I did, for a time, post in the forum of that website back in the late ‘90s and earliest of aughts…We got entirely too heated over Jericho winning the WWF World Championship off HHH, but being forced to hand it back over...So, get this, Jericho is rulebook posturing again…He cites the “Silent Brian McNee clause” to try and replace an injured Curt Hennig in the tourney…Also, he argues THINK OF THE KIDS who want to see him back in this tournament…Dillon is unsurprisingly unconvinced, but as the commish walks away, Jericho seems to get another idea in his head… Raven and Saturn come back out to the ring to get a warm-up match in against Bobby Duncum Jr. and Mike Enos…Heenan makes a good point about Raven and Saturn preferring to wrestle Misterio and Kidman for the titles by noting that the former probably have former Flock member Kidman exceptionally well-scouted…Is it weird that Chastity headbutted Raven in the nuts and helped Hak win that hardcore match, and Raven just doesn’t care?...Or does it work because it’s Raven, who famously doesn't care about a lot of stuff that most people would care about?...Raven’s your FIP…Enos is mostly in there with him, so it’s solid stuff…Enos has nice offense…Saturn gets a hot tag and the match breaks down….Saturn trips Enos after reversing an Irish whip and transitions into a Rings of Saturn, but Enos breaks the hold…Enos hits a couple of chair shots on Saturn, but Duncum can’t do much with a hurt Saturn and immediately gets back suplexed…We get a second hot tag shortly after the first and the match breaks down again…Duncum swings his bullrope behind him blindly and hits Enos…Raven drills Enos with an Evenflow for three…Benoit and Malenko run down immediately after and destroy Saturn and Raven with a chair… Hey, I’m really into the build for Spring Stampede…I’m shocked…I think it was Stefanie who said that Spring Stampede ’99 was a good show…After this build, I’m not going to be surprised if I end up agreeing with her once I get there…I don’t think it’s been a perfect build or anywhere near it, but it’s been far more compelling than any of the build to a PPV that WCW has done for a PPV in like nine or ten months of television…It's the best since the build to Bash at the Beach '98, I think...I’ve enjoyed the post-Uncensored ’99 television more than I expected to… J.J. Dillon and Ric Flair try to figure out how to schedule Hulk Hogan in the towns with the lowest payoffs possible (and no limo service) when Chris Jericho barges into their locker room and their conversation…Jericho obsequiously introduces himself to Flair…He’s also changed t-shirts since the last sketch, which probably just means that this was shot hours later or whatever, but which I like as a character touch…Jericho probably would have like twenty different t-shirts with his face on them, switching between them every hour on the hour…Flair gets a kick out of Jericho calling Dillon “JoJo”…When Dillon tries to intervene by telling Flair that he already handled Jericho’s request, Jericho barks out THINK OF THE KIDS, THINK OF THE JERICHOHOLICS to cut him off…Jericho kissing up to Flair is fucking hilarious, holy shit…It works, too!...Flair: “I-I like you, yeah, you’re back in the tournament”…Dillon’s not a fan of this decision, but Flair’s like, Forget about Jericho, he’s cool, let’s go back to booking Hogan in the worst cities in this country…Genuinely a very funny segment, and more proof that when WCW cares to have their good talkers do the talking, suddenly, it’s just fine that there's less wrestling or shorter matches… Now Chris Jericho is out to the ring to face Chris Adams, who cannot possibly be in the U.S. Championship Tournament, there’s no way…Jericho is kinda over as a babyface tonight…Tenay talks about Chris’s brother Neil repping the UK in judo at the Olympics while Chris gets in more offense than he should…From Neil’s Wikipedia page: “Adams was so fondly regarded in Japan that he was given the nickname Happo Bigin (Everyone’s friend).” Boy, Neil and Chris Adams just took completely opposing approaches to life, huh?...Adams avoids one Walls attempt and even lands a superkick, but soon after, he gets dumped and locked in a Walls of Jericho on a rope run right in the middle of the ring… Ric Flair calls the ol’ Disciple into his locker room for a little meeting…Ric notes that the Disciple’s contract ends in thirty days and then wonders what Brutus is going to do after he’s out of contract…Work a tollbooth and leave his cocaine sitting out in the open, that’s what…Oh, wait, hold on, before he does that, it looks like Ric is going to get Brother Bruti to put some work in on his old buddy the Hulkster for a chance to roll the contract over…Ric says he’ll double the contract and re-up Brutus for three more years if Brutus can beat Hogan later tonight on Thunder…I guess I have to root for Hogan tonight?...Also, this was the best thing Brutus has been involved in for his whole existence within WCW…Ric, as Brutus fires himself up for this opportunity: “You never liked Hogan that much anyway, be honest”…Ric is in fine form tonight in these pre-tapes… Meng fires himself up to team with Jerry Flynn against Barbarian and Hugh Morrus…Um, about that…Barb and Morrus spike piledrive Flynn in the back while Meng makes his way out…They scatter when Meng runs away from the ring to save his partner…Heenan rightly points out that Meng moved Flynn’s head around so much when checking on him that he might have done more damage to Flynn’s neck than the piledriver did…Meng stomps back out and fights this match as a handicap match… The desk can’t see the backstage promos with Flair, so while this match starts, they announce that Hogan will be wrestling tonight on Thunder, though they don’t know who yet…There is just zero consistency about what commentary can and cannot see…Nash had the right idea about shooting the stuff in a different visual style that they can’t see, but we can…This match and feud is a zero…I think we said all we need to say about the Meng/Barbarian break-up back at Road Wild ’98…This match gets a commercial break and just goes on too long…Poor Barbarian is cooked and Hugh Morrus sucks…Meng still has value though, as we’ll see when he clubbers his way to the WCW Hardcore Championship (and right into the 2001 Royal Rumble)… This is a low point on what has been a pretty fun Thunder…Eventually, after the first interesting offensive move in the match (Barbarian/Morrus backdrop/powerbomb combo followed by a Morrus top-rope elbowdrop), Flynn stumbles to the ring…Flynn kicks Morrus off the top rope as Morrus goes up for a No Laughing Matter…Meng locks a TDG on Barbarian for the win (and a pop – people treat the TDG as a killer move)…Meng clears Morrus and a chair-wielding Jimmy Hart out after that…That finish was actually pretty enjoyable, but it needed to come like four or five minutes earlier…Though I'm not sure about Jerry Flynn popping up from a spike piledriver on concrete and being effective on interference duty eight or ten minutes later or whatever it was... Now there’s a Meng hype video…Yeah, they’re definitely hyping multiple midcarders in expectation of starting a hardcore division… Gene Okerlund introduces Hulk Hogan for an interview…Hogan gets a decidedly mixed reaction…While Hogan makes his way down, Tony S. complains about how bad the WCW car is at doing anything in NASCAR races...Hogan mentions the Wolfpac and gets a pop…The captioner just gives up trying to write out stuff Hogan is saying like NO PROBLEMO, DUDE and quits transcribing Hogan’s words for awhile…The crowd pops huge because Ric Flair comes onto the ramp with a mic while Hogan is talking…Flair calls himself Hogan’s leader and boss and gets a pop, then has to insult a fan in the crowd to get a few boos…This on-going slow burn of a double-turn (because Hogan’s still sort of heeling) continues to be compelling television… Flair brings ED (Leslie, of course) out and presents him as Hogan’s opponent later tonight…ED cuts his promo into the camera and not to Hogan even though he’s addressing Hogan…Unintentionally hilarious…Flair goes into conniptions to cut off Hogan’s response, and then steps off the ramp and, off mic, says to a fan YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, PUNK…I have to give Flair a ton of credit…He has rejuvenated himself quite a bit with this turn…He just walks around threatening to get fans tossed out to make sure that everyone treats him as the heel…YOU, GET OUTTA MY BUILDING…Flair rules, Hulk drools, I think is how that idiot Hogan might word it… Chavo Guerrero Jr. is getting lost in the shuffle here, and that’s some bullshit…Give him something to do…Other than working babyface again for some reason, tagging with Kaz Hayashi…They face Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (w/Arn Anderson) in the following match…Tony S. and Tenay have a dumb feud over who gets to be on Nitro or Thunder instead of focusing on a good tag match…It’s really bad, and I don’t get why they’re doing this nonsense…Tony S. lets Tenay do the PBP, but harasses him as he does it…Tony S. does a Larry Z. impression and my hatred of this bickering stops for a second as Tony S. mocks Larry for talking about his fucking golf game that no one cares about…Fellas, some advice…Don’t talk about your a) golf game, b) Elden Ring build, or c) fantasy sports team unless someone specifically asks you about it… Oh yeah, the match was fun!...It wasn’t overlong, had a nice flow, and Malenko drops Kaz in the center of the ring and locks on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission victory…Raven and Saturn run out after the match for a little revenge…They clear out Arn…Raven hits Malenko with a drop-toehold onto a chair…They put Benoit on a table, and then Saturn hits a splash from the top and the table doesn’t break because no one puts any sawdust on these things in WCW…If you want an example of how bad commentary can attempt to ruin a good match and post-match segment, watch this one… Next up is a backstage video in which Hulk Hogan fires up the nWo troops to take on their enemies…Hogan tries to get Scott Steiner hyped to take out Booker T….Stevie Ray doesn’t like this…He cut a deal when he joined the nWo that they wouldn’t target Booker…Nash and Crush try to calm him down, but he remains un-calmed…Hogan wants a moment alone with the B-Teamers…I guess Stevie finally found out that Hogan played them all…Good for him!...He just had to go back and watch like three past Nitros to figure it all out…Hogan says that he made a mistake…He was just trying to fire them all up to grab the brass ring go after that bone like they had some dog in them…Hogan says that they’ll have to have a battle royal on Nitro (I think, since he says they'll be in Vegas and not in Tacoma) in which the winner is the new leader…Or a multi-man Last Man Standing match?...Eh, we’ll find out when we get to Nitro… Ol’ Horace Hogan makes his way to the ring to wrestle Diamond Dallas Page…Maybe Page can actually manage a victory tonight!...I never understood the complaints about Page being an old guy getting over-pushed a la Hulk, Savage, etc. in WCW…He’s an older guy, but he’s fresh…He didn’t even start wrestling regularly until the mid-nineties…He feels more like he’s in that Booker T. mold as a guy who has been around since 1992/1993, but is just now making their way up the card in a reasonable fashion…Hell, Scott Steiner had been on WCW/WWF television for longer than Page, but no one complained about his push…Page gets a tiny D-D-P chant…I guess this crowd missed the part where he’s a heel now…This match gets an obligatory ringside brawl and an unnecessary commercial break, but Page is fun, so it’s ultimately fine…Page hits a floatover Diamond Cutter for the win after rebounding off the ropes…This was too long, but you know, that’s just WCW… Tonight’s main event – Hulk Hogan vs. Disciple – ends our show…The match is shit-soiled ass cheeks, of course…But you know what, I’m here for the end-of-match fuckery…They do use the weight belt, which is a foreign international object, dammit!...But it’s also the most over part of Hogan’s in-ring act, so I guess we should ignore the rules…This match goes ten minutes when it should go five…Finally, Hogan Hulks Up and Ric Flair comes out and trips him on the Hulk Up…The Disciple hits a weak Stone Cold Stunner…That ain’t keeping Hogan down…You gotta hit Hogan with the real deal for that…Too bad we never got that match...Flair jumps in when Hogan Hulks Up again and causes a DQ…I guess Disciple’s not getting what would have kayfabe turned out to be that “sit at home while Time Warner pays it off” special after all…Oh, well!...Flair clears out the ref, then gets beaten up by Hogan…The Wolfpac, even post-merger, continues not to be a wolfpack…The Horsemen run out and fight Hogan, but he just beats them all up himself…I don’t know, can we do something, anything, to make babyface Hogan seem vulnerable…Hogan’s comeback act gets a mixed reaction…I feel like ‘80s Hogan did lots of things to seem vulnerable…’90s Hogan has no interest in any of that… The desk hypes the Sting announcement and introduces a Sting hype video to end the show… Even with Hogan’s cornball act, I did enjoy this show, again largely because of the talking and character work from the guys who are good at that…And as I said, I’m enjoying the build to Spring Stampede…I give this Thunder the four-O treatment…WOOOO…

It's going on my "grab for my personal collection list." There's also a Micro Machines game for N64 that's apparently worth getting.

Show #184 – 29 March 1999 “The one with much better storyline beats than pro wrestling matches in 1999?!?!?!” Torrie and David run down Ric Flair in a blipmo to start the show. David’s acting is suboptimal, to say the least. WCW’s in Toronto! WCW's also running a sweepstakes to win a VW Beetle as part of a promotion for Beetle Adventure Racing on the N64. Tony S. calls it the best racing game on the N64 for 1999. No less an authority than okay-ish video game comedy site Hard Drive (dot) net ranked it fortieth in its rankings of every N64 game ever, so maybe Tony S. isn’t that far off! The folks at the desk all have boxes for the game. I am certain that none of them have touched an N64 controller in their lives. The crowd is going nuts. Larry Z. takes a bow. The crowd boos, then chants WE WANT BRET to make it clear why they were going nuts in the first place. The best comedy in life is unintentional! We are reminded of Bret’s challenge to Goldberg from last Nitro. It will lead to a classic WCW moment later in this show. But first, a break! After that, a Konnan match. I can’t believe that WCW sold a Konnan 187 t-shirt! Anyway, Konnan does his increasingly annoying Catchphrase Roulette and threatens Disco Inferno. His complaints about Disco are cut off by Virgil’s dumb ass. They talk over each other until Virgil gets to the ring, at which point they have a match that, like David Flair’s acting, is suboptimal. Virgil’s offense is just so soft at this point. They have an unnecessary ringside brawl, but actually, as mediocre as this match is, I really shouldn’t have compared it to David Flair’s mic work. Stevie Ray comes out to interfere during Konnan’s comeback, and he ends up distracting Virg enough that Konnan easily nails a sit-out facebuster and wraps on a Tequila Sunrise for the win. It's another blipmo with Torrie Wilson talking to Hulk Hogan. They talk about poor dopey David and then, uh, I guess now Hogan is beefing with Nash? When did that happen? Oh, Hogan’s bullshitting about how grueling the Fingerpoke of Doom match was, but then I think he whispers some Nash-focused insults into Torrie’s ear, is what happens, and whoooooooo caressssssssss. Gene Okerlund introduces Hulk Hogan, who is glad to be back in Toronto because he gets an honest-to-God huge babyface pop. Toronto and New York just love this fucking dunce no matter how bad he is at the art of pro wrestling. He says WELL YA KNOW SOMETHIN’ MEAN GENE and Toronto is like WOOOOO HE SAID IT, HE SAID IT EVERYONE, HE SAID THE THING. This crowd reaction is a prime example of why I like Vancouver the best when it comes to major Canadian cities. It’s actually pretty amazing how different these WCW shows in the northeast of the continent feel, even though it of course makes sense that it would be this way. Toronto is excited about Hogan’s desire to kick the shit out of Ric Flair tonight! Hogan cuts a mediocre promo on the strength of its content, but it just comes off so much better than that because the crowd chants HO-GAN in the background while he cuts it. Tony S. and Tenay tease a Sting appearance. That would be cool! After a Goldberg video package and more teasing of a Sting appearance, Mike Tenay speaks to Diamond Dallas Page in a pre-tape. Tenay introduces this segment by saying that “it’s a different DDP than I think we’ve heard before,” which I hope means that we’re getting a heel turn. Wait, we get a video package for the Scott Steiner/Kimberly/DDP stuff from a month or two ago and then the interview. Tenay really overdoes the Barbara Walters act, which Page mocks. Yeah, Page is teasing a much-needed heel turn! He’s not the People’s Champion anymore, either! I mean, obviously not, that’s the Rock when Rock’s a babyface. Like Flair, it seems that Page is going to turn heel in part because he’s going to become a monster to fight one. Toronto is slightly less excited to see Adam Bomb than they are Bret or Hogan, but you know, they still seem hyped when ol’ Wrath comes to the ring. Wrath faces Kenny Kaos (w/jobber entrance). You can probably visualize most of this match without me having to tell you about it. They head outside to brawl for a short period, Wrath eats some offense after an opening flurry, Wrath, Tony S. refuses to call a big boot by using the word “boot” and instead insists on using “foot,” the match goes on longer than it needs to. You know the deal. Wrath wins with the Meltdown. Someone please tell the dopes who lay out this show that most of these matches between random midcarders do not need to run for ten minutes including entrances. The BRET HART IS THE BLUE BLAZER sign in the front row did not age well. ☹ Blipmo: Kevin Nash talks to Torrie about dopey David. Torrie, who seems to favor Hogan over Nash, stirs up trouble by asking about Nash doing the JAY OH BEE to Hogan back in January. Is this going to be the reason that Hogan and Nash fall out again? So, the first time they fell out, it was over which one of Piper or Savage to beat up first. The second time they're falling out, it’s because Torrie randomly instigates things by bringing up the Fingerpoke of Doom. What is up with all the weird triggers for Hogan and Nash beefs? What if they just, I don’t know, both wanted to be the leader of the nWo and fought over leadership directly? What if they both, hmmm, just wanted to be champ? Gene Okerlund introduces Ric Flair to boos. Well, at least this crowd is going along what Hogan and Flair are trying to pull off! Flair insults a dude that the captions tell me is named Tie Domi. OK. I guess he’s either a Maple Leaf or an Argonaut because I’ve never known a Raptor by that name. Flair does his shtick to get the fans to feed him a little cheap heat, and actually, he draws an ASSHOLE chant. Gene’s a little shook. Yeah, WWF Country has changed a little bit since you’ve left, Gene! Flair introduces DDP, who is here to make a statement. Oh no, Flair and Page do a whole inside baseball thing about how Flair tried to bury Page back in 1993 or whatever, but Page is STILL HERE. Then Page calls Scott Steiner BIG POPPA SCUMBAG, which the crowd boos. Mostly, they boo because Page is a cornball, but Page calls everyone JACKOFFS for booing him and by the transitive property cheering for dudes who toss women out of cars. WWF Country, baby! Flair books Page against Hulk Hogan for tonight's main event, and Page is annoyed that Flair has him fighting Hogan instead of Steiner. Hogan walks down to the ring to another babyface pop, and he and Page proceed to sound like a couple of complete doofuses. But only one of those doofuses gets a babyface pop! Flair intercedes to make himself Page’s manager for the night, which Page flips out about. Meanwhile, Sting’s back in the rafters overseeing this whole deal and probably thinking that his Wolfpac phase the previous year was a mistake and maybe he should have just stood in the catwalk and swung a baseball bat around ominously for most of last year, too. I’m thrilled that the red facepaint is dead, by the way. Again, WCW’s got a bit of intrigue here with Page turning heel and Flair having lost his mind after his son drove him to extremes. Where Sting fits in, and how he’ll react to the nWo merger, is also an intriguing question, as is how he’ll react to his buddy Lex letting him down again, DAMMIT STING, HE ALWAYS DOES THIS TO YOU. There are these storyline seeds that are interesting if they germinate properly. The Hogan/Nash issue is far less interesting, but maybe they can salvage that. Or maybe not, considering that it’s WCW in 1999. Fifty minutes in, it’s the intro sequence for NITROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Nitro Girls. “Rockhouse.” Scott Norton. Knockoff “Welcome to the Jungle.” Rick Steiner. Well, maybe we’ll get some good clubberin’. This is some disappointing beefy boy pro graps, honestly. Sometimes I want to see two wide dudes have a standoff after shoulderblocking one another, and I do get that. On the other hand, this could be better, mostly because it doesn’t have nearly enough stiff lariats. I don’t need “Stan Hansen knocking out Vader’s eyeball” level of stiff lariats, but more of them in general would be nice. Anyway, there’s a commercial break, but there’s no sense that I missed anything. Norton tries to get Steiner up for a powerbomb, but Steiner doesn’t feel like helping, so Norton doesn’t get him up and over cleanly and looks quite irritated. Norton tries another powerbomb, but Steiner backdrops out of this one. They have a nothing brawl at ringside with a lot of post shots, followed by a Steiner bulldog when Norton’s rolled back in the ring that ends this match. It mostly sucked, actually, except for the part where Steiner sandbagged Norton because Steiner’s a dick. Rey Misterio Jr. tries to pitch Billy Kidman on teaming up against Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko, who have apparently issued a tag title open challenge, later tonight. Kidman reasonably points out that he hasn’t done so well with tag team partners like Chavo or Rey himself in the past, but Rey pushes enough to sell him on taking the match, which Kidman makes sure has the most obvious ending ever based on his comments in this segment! Chris Adams heads to the ring to job to Booker T. How was Chris Adams even allowed into Canada?! Do they not keep out UK nationals regardless of criminal history because they’re a former Commonwealth country or something? This match is at least a bit shorter than the typical middle-of-the-card TV match where the winner is obvious. Booker eats way too much offense, though. I think babyface Lex Luger or Randy Savage giving up a lot of offense to a nothing midcarder is different; they’re established mega-stars. Booker has never had that type of clout and definitely doesn’t in 1999. Booker makes a comeback and lands a Spinaroonie that gets a nice pop, then hits a missile dropkick for three. Misterio Jr. makes a challenge to Kidman last week! Tony S. doesn’t get a countdown from the idiots in production, so he introduces the footage after it has already played! Jerry Flynn comes to the ring to wrestle Winnipeg’s own Chris Jericho! OK, none of that was as exciting as you’d think, what with all the exclamation points. Jericho is obviously quite over as a babyface here in Toronto. Jericho calls himself “one hundred percent Canadian” on the mic and talks about his history as a Canadian and what it has meant to his development as a human. I’m waiting for the shoe to drop. Here it is: “Man, I’m glad I moved to the States ‘cuz Canada SUCKS.” The crowd boos, but their hearts aren’t in it. They do kind of get a JERICHO SUCKS chant going for a little bit, but they want to cheer the guy. I mean, Winnipeg does kinda suck, but Toronto is very cool, and of course Vancouver, Victoria, and Sidney are the best. Toronto doesn’t really want to boo Jericho, so they opt for a WE WANT BRET chant instead. The way in which the crowd opts to deal with Jericho heeling on them is more interesting than this match, let me tell you! It’s also better than the commentary desk hating on Canada or arguing about Flynn’s nickname. The wrestlers in the ring badly fuck up a sunset flip out of a powerbomb spot, and Jericho cheats with a leveraged flash pin for three. Those two did not work well together, to say the least. Gene Okerlund and Spice hang out near the Beetle and implore you folks out there to try and win it. Okerlund skeeves on Spice, who politely ignores it and pretty much nails the exact correct tone as she bigs up the Beetle for what is essentially a The Price is Right-style modeling spot. The Hitman comes to the ring, but it takes a second for the crowd to recognize his knockoff “Hart Attack” theme. I mean, this theme SUCKS man. I’ve typed it before, and I’ll type it again. The Brain rambles about how Bret Hart compares to Gene Kiniski instead of letting us soak in the sustained pop. Just let things breathe, WCW commentators! Bret works a shoot, maybe almost cusses – watch it Bret, you noted that there are kids in the crowd – before reciting “O Canada.” No, no, you sing it richly and loudly, especialy if you’re completely wasted a la a typical Edmonton Oilers home crowd during the playoffs. This promo is whatever, mostly Bret bitching about how much the company sucks in a half-shoot. Get to the part where Goldberg spears himself stupid already! Bret challenges William Goldberg to a fight, the big chicken! Bret brings up that whole Goldberg-challenging-Austin thing to point out that he gave Austin that work in every match they had. He really did beat the shit out of Austin every time! Bret pops off his Calgary Hitmen jersey and has a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey on under that. Goldberg’s music hits and, get this – GET THIS – the crowd obviously and loudly starts BOOING, and right over that, they hastily play some recorded GOLD-BERG chants! Why did they do that?! It’s the fakest shit ever! It’s dumb, but it doesn’t take away from Goldberg knocking himself out on that spear because he’s a BIG DUMMY who got EXCELLENTLY EXECUTED. Bret rolls Goldberg over, counts his own pin, and then shows his metal plate. Now that’s how you trick a meathead ath-a-lete! Oh yeah, then Bret quits WCW. Do we even see him on television again until after Owen is callously killed by negligent piece of shit Vincent Kennedy McMahon? It’s that one video package showcasing Buff and Scotty Steiner breaking up with one another on account of a wayward chair shot. Now it’s Buff Bagwell with his BUFF! DADDY! theme that I forgot existed until this very second. Buff sucks up to the crowd before his match against Norman Smiley, and they seem receptive. Buff dances before the match starts. What I like about Buff is, despite the pre-match pandering, he still acts pretty much like heel Buff. That’s a guy who understands how to stay over as a babyface. Then Buff tells the camera, “I didn’t know we hired Warren Moon,” which, yeah, Smiley does somewhat resemble the University of Washington and Houston Oiler standout quarterback. And I think he was an Edmonton Elk at one point? I figured I’d mention that last part since this is a Canadian show. Buff being a babyface is also good because they can put him in matches against heels and he can do selling for the heel control segment, which is way better than the reverse. That makes this random TV match more watchable than pretty much any singles TV match where Buff was a heel in the last couple of years. Smiley hits his wind-up slam (that’s what I’m settling on as a name) and then dances a bit. The crowd pops. They legit could have just had a dance-off and saved themselves the wear and tear on their bodies while also getting the same amount of engagement, honestly. Smiley does Buff’s dance, but real shitty, and Buff sneaks up on him and gets two on a flash pin. Smiley does some okay-I-guess neck work. It would have been better if he sunk in the stump puller that he initially tried for, but couldn’t get a good grip on. Buff makes a comeback, gets a boot up on a corner charge, and hops up on the buckles for a Blockbuster that finds its mark and ends the match. What has encouraged commentary to bicker so much over the past few shows? Whatever it is, they should stop being encouraged. Ross and Lawler had a rapport, and though Lawler being Okerlund on steroids whenever a woman was in the camera’s frame is the fucking worst, the underlying back-and-forth between them works. Schiavone, Heenan, and Tenay don’t have one-one millionth of the rapport that Ross and Lawler somehow did. Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman challenge Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko for the WCW World Tag Team Championships. Okay, let’s do something different. I’d like to ask you, if you’ve read this far into the review, if you think that you guessed the end of this match as soon as Rey and Kidman had their little backstage conversation earlier in the night. Go ahead, lock in your answer right now about how this match ends, and we’ll just go right past the perfectly acceptable journey and right to the ending to see if you are right (and if I was right). Go ahead, guess. I don’t think you’ll need much time to ponder things. If you need more time and were also wondering about the “perfectly acceptable journey” part, let me note that what we get is good, but it all feels rushed. There are some great counter spots in there, including a Malenko super-gutbuster and a nasty looking lariat counter to Rey when he’s trying to pull off a rana. But I think the break hurts it a bit and, when something like Wrath/Enos on the same show feels ponderous, I wonder why this match didn’t get five minutes that they could have taken from that match. OK, the finish: Malenko catches a Rey springboard rana attempt and locks on a Texas Cloverleaf, but Raven and Saturn walk to the ring. Billy Silverman is focused on Kidman and Benoit going at it at ringside and misses Raven sliding into the ring and drilling a defenseless Malenko with an Evenflow DDT. Rey covers and gets three. Kidman protested WAY too much when he was pointing out that it NEVER EVER WORKS when he tags with another cruiserweight. Combine that with Raven and Saturn being in a budding feud with Malenko and Benoit, and this match screamed “title change.” Hey, we didn’t get a United States Championship Tournament match tonight. Well, I think it’s got to be an eight-man tournament if the finals will be at Spring Stampede. Since we’ve had three matches already and after tonight, there will be three shows until the PPV, that means there is time to have a fourth quarterfinal match on this week’s Thunder and then two semi-final matches between Meng/Scott Steiner and Booker/winner of QF match number four on the go-home Nitro and Thunder next week. The reason that I know we didn’t get a tourney match is because there hasn’t been one note from commentary about one, and now the Hulk Hogan/DDP main event is happening. Page and Hogan usually have good chemistry, so hopefully Page will be able to get something decent out of a rapidly-deteriorating Hogan. It also helps that the crowd is hot for Hogan beating down Page. They have an early break after Page eats a soft lariat that spills him to ringside, and when we come back… …these fellas are beating each other up around the commentary area. They’re both babyfaces for clearing the commentary desk as far as I’m concerned. Unfortunately, that dick Mickey Jay shepherds them away. and commentary resumes. This is a weird match; they have this brawl where they toss each other around, including into the big W-C-W standees at the top of the ramp, but their timing is slightly off, so it doesn’t quite work for me. I'm okay with sloppy brawls, but this feels a bit too sloppy for me. Flair tries to get involved, but both Hogan and Page are like NAH, FUCK YOU. I do think, as little as this brawl is doing for me from an aesthetic standpoint, it is intriguing from a storyline standpoint. These fellas all can’t stand one another, and I’m curious to see how that’ll play out and how heel Flair will play his enemies against one another. Page takes over when the match finally gets back in the ring, but not for long. Hogan regains control on a weak lariat and slaps on an abdominal stretch. That’s fine because Flair sets himself to cheat, but Jay catches him and he backs off. Basically, I want to see what Flair’s going to do, that’s where the intrigue is for me. Hogan locks on an ugly armbreaker, oh man, that is just a mess. They go back and forth, and I’m just the wrestling fan representation of that Judge Judy GIF where she points to her imaginary watch and then slaps her desk. Here we go, there’s a ref bump finally, but this is actually a ref bump that I think works perfectly for the context of a main event match. Charles Robinson comes down to spell Jay as DDP rolls out of the way of the legdrop and hits a clothesline. He signals for a Diamond Cutter, but Hogan Hulks Up. Flair grabs a chair and enters the ring, and Robinson is like I DON’T SEE ANY OF THIS, but Flair misses Hogan and hits Page. Hogan hammers Flair, big boots him, and hits a legdrop on a KO’d Page. Robinson won’t make the count, so Hogan knocks him out and has Jay do it. DDP is just out here doing jobs like doing jobs is a thing going out of style. I would have liked this better if Hogan had lost; I think the story beats coming out of a Hogan screwjob loss are more interesting than “Hogan has yet another claim to a title shot.” But whatever, this was the odd show where I thought multiple angles made interesting progress. I enjoyed the storyline progression more than the wrestling! Strange days here in 1999 WCW. 3.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes

If the Mountie gimmick had happened twenty years earlier, whoever played it would have called their big finishing move the '60s Scoop and probably would have spent most of their time trying to forcibly re-home Wahoo McDaniel or Jay Strongbow against their will.

I played the trial period for Balatro and didn't even get halfway through my hour before buying the game. Oh no, I think I have a new obsession.

I agree with this, broadly. However, with all respect, I think it's a mistake to fold these sorts of neo-Nazi or largely white right-wing Christian movements into what was happening with race relations broadly and black-white race relations specifically in the '90s. Nobody ever suggested that white people weren't happy to be here because those events you mention were cast in the media as fringe movements, not as a mainstream way of thinking or living for greater white America. That's very different from the events I mentioned, which were cast as some sort of historical referendum on black Americans no matter who they were or where they wre from. I'm not suggesting that how these events were cast was true or accurate; I'm just suggesting that the media's choice of framing on these events was different and held a lot of power in terms of how Foreman was embraced by the wider American public. I think it's important to look at how race relations were polling in the 1990s: https://news.gallup.com/poll/318851/perceptions-white-black-relations-sink-new-low.aspx Specifically: Optimism about the future of relations between the two racial groups was below 50% in the mid- to late 1990s, spanning the Rodney King riots and O.J. Simpson case. You can look at the chart below this quote at the link and see the polling for this issue dipped to 29% (!) believing that black-white relations would ever be positive in 1995/96. Personally, I can only read Foreman's new-found popularity in that context, but I understand if others don't. 100%. One of the things that I'll note w/r/t Foreman's public persona is that it certainly did lighten up during his comeback. I just recently read Norman Mailer's The Fight, and in it, Mailer makes a point of noting the juxtaposition between how Foreman is seen by the greater white American audience and what Foreman has said about his upbringing, which is boilerplate WASP-culture stuff about uplifting oneself, America being a nation of opportunity for anyone if they just do the right thing, being proud to wave the American flag at the same Olympics that John Carlos and Tommie Smith held up black gloves, etc. So while I do think that how Americans broadly view patriotism matters, I don't think it's the mainstream beliefs about what is patriotic that really changes very much. America is, for good and ill, heavily defined by Puritan-influenced WASP culture. But times change, and contexts change, and Foreman saying and doing these things in 1974 post-Civil Rights Movement when there's a bunch of pushback against the gains of that era is taken very differently than in 1994, when the pushback era has sort of eroded after H.W. Bush has left office and there is a new generation of voters who have noticed that the post-Great Society revolution that was supposed to happen w/r/t race (and everything else) didn't happen. I think Foreman didn't change much inwardly. What he did change was his outward persona, but again, that's contextual. It's hard to be a smiling, joyful black American in 1974 in the midst of post-CRM pushback and with Ali derisively pointing out your patriotism. In 1994, it's much easier to do that with no Ali there picking at you, 25 years after the CRM, and with mainstream white America looking for a sign that not all is lost w/r/t race relations between white and black Americans. 1000%. I think the label that '90s Foreman got compared to '70s Foreman is the far more accurate label even though Foreman really didn't change much about what he was saying about himself and his identity. Now, to swing this back to Hogan, the reason this is one of my favorite Hogan fibs is because Hogan doesn't understand anything about how and why George Foreman was important to the national identity of the '90s, which is why Foreman got that grill deal. It's especially funny because Hogan was hugely important to the national identity of the '80s, so you'd hope that he'd stopped for a second or two to think about why he got that popular, so popular that everyone from every demo in America knew who he was. It would have maybe lent him some insight into why telling this particular fib about the grill doesn't hold up if you stop to think about it for three seconds. I know that there are many very successful people who think they were pre-ordained to be successful rather than considering themselves and the contexts that they came up in, but Hogan might be the textbook example of that type of person.

I think also that it's important to remember the context outside of boxing. We were in the midst of Rodney King, the L.A. riots, O.J. Simpson, gangsta rap having Tipper Gore and a bunch of senators clutching their pearls. And here's George Foreman, happy black person and proud to be from the U.S.A. His appeal to a mainstream American audience at that time was undeniable. If you were feeling bad about race relations, Foreman was like a soothing balm.

Thunder Interlude – show number fifty-six – 25 March 1999 "The WCW Gang is boring, then baffling" Let’s Thunder… Oddly, Tony S. says that fans are calling the company to complain about Ric Flair not defending the World title…Uh, he just did that over on Nitro, a scant three days ago…This is the problem with a) taping every other Thunder and b) not having enough forward planning for Nitro so that you can make sure Tony S. doesn’t sound like a moron talking about how Flair won’t defend his title when he just did… Jerry Flynn vs. Scotty Riggs is the opener…I don’t think every match needs to be a title match or even tied to an ongoing angle…But I sure wish that if they’re going to do wrestling matches for wrestling’s sake, they’d put on the most aesthetically pleasing match they can in the opener, at least…Tony S. says that Kidman will wrestle Blitzkrieg later on tonight…OK, see, start with that as the opener…As a bonus, it has the stakes of Kidman having a title shot at Spring Stampede, but maybe being distracted by that and ripe for an upset… Meanwhile, Tony S. points out that Flair did a drawing for a title shot on Nitro…Now I wonder about how this show was produced…Did they do the opening in a live shot during the actual taping, then do commentary for the rest of the show in a studio later in the week?...Or did Tony S. just say something silly in the opening?...This match has some reasonable knee work from Riggs, but I can’t imagine why anyone thought that this needed to go ten minutes with entrances…Flynn makes a comeback, hits a Thesz Press, and transitions into a cross-arm breaker for the win…The desk spent their time talking about Sonny Onoo getting more respect from Tony S. and Tony S. trying to figure out the difference between sarcasm and irony…That should tell you a lot about this boring, but inoffensive opener… Video package with Buff and Scott Steiner…In the arena, Mike Enos enters for a match with Wrath…Man, we need to get Vince Russo in this company, and then out of this company, and then into this company again so that we can get him to create my favorite Acolytes knockoff team…I looked it up the other day, and there’s no KroniK until April of 2000!...That’s over a year’s worth of shows from now!...I am a massive mark for the APA (and thus for KroniK being APA-lite)…Just the idea of two dudes taking protection or beat-down jobs for beer and cigar money (or weed money) is great…Low-key, it’s one of my favorite gimmicks ever…I love the idea of two big dudes throwing lariats for hire…And I loved the reality of it, for that matter… This match is fine, I guess…I like both these guys, but Enos is more fun when he’s the bigger wrestler in the ring and can bully his smaller opponent…There’s a break in the middle of it for some reason…Wrath shouldn’t be doing senton splashes off the apron in nothing Thunder matches, IMO…Anyway, the first half of this spent a long time with both guys fighting over headlocks, so I checked out kinda early…Enos struggles to do much with the big man…Hey, the crowd actually gets up for Wrath hitting a top-rope clothesline…Like, you could visually see the crowd stand up to see this… They’re missing a trick not pushing Wrath a bit harder…I still think using him to get Bam Bam over was dumb…It should have been the other way around, though of course logically, they committed to Bigelow/Goldberg and booked Bigelow/Wrath logically toward that end…It was just the wrong destination in the first place…Commentary does not give a single, solitary fuck, by the way…They are just amusing themselves doing a hit-and-miss comedy act this show…Enos hits a run of offense, but Wrath ducks under an Enos short-arm clothesline and hits a Rock Bottom Death Penalty…He follows up with a Meltdown for three….These fellas didn’t quite work as well together as you’d hope…And Wrath probably shouldn’t need ten-plus minutes to beat Mike Enos… They play a Lex Luger hype video…They only show the Giant getting punched once…Come on, WCW, you should have shown Luger slamming him or something, too… Chris Adams enters the ring while Tenay shills the WCW Hotline…Why pay money to listen to the hotline when I can just go read a summary of what the hotline said at RajahWWF, Tenay?...Adams wrestles Fit Finlay…The desk tries to talk up Finlay’s abilities to win the U.S. Championship…They point out that he did manage to win the TV title in a surprise the year before…This is another match that goes on way longer than it needs to…Finlay grabs a chair and fights with Mickey Jay over using it, then goes right back to beating up Adams, locking on chinlocks and headlocks and what-have-you…Adams makes a comeback, gets two on a back suplex with a bridge, but hits a superkick that knocks Finlay to the floor…Finlay pops right back up…Finally, Finlay dodges a dive and hits a Tombstone for three… This show is deadly boring…At the very least, push some mid-card feuds that only really progress much on taped Thunder shows or something…Give me something other than the same six or eight ten-minute semi-competitive wrestling match between a midcarder and a lower-midcarder over and over and over… At least this Blitzkrieg/Kidman match has a potential story around the match…The one I mentioned earlier, about Kidman maybe looking past Blitzkrieg, could add some stakes…Tenay mentions Mikey Whipwreck, which is the first time anyone has mentioned him since the previous PPV…What a weird debut for that guy…This match is okay to start, but Blitzkrieg does a corkscrew springboard moonsault to Kidman on the outside, and that wakes me up…Kidman hits a counter-dropkick while the desk makes a bunch of jokes about Heenan understanding what the word “blitzkrieg” means… Kidman gets two off a running powerbomb, then lands a legdrop as we go into a break…Commentary really does not give a FUCK, man…I mean, tell your jokes because WCW is a mess, I get it, but in between the jokes, at least try to give me something, some interesting points or a useful narrative thread around this match…Kidman hits a crossbody for two when we come back…Blitzkrieg manages to take control and then smothers Kidman on the mat with a headscissors, a headlock, and an ankle lock…Blitzkrieg hits his double-standing moonsault…Well he, hits the first part of it, as he barely touches Kidman on the second moonsault… This match goes back and forth, as all the matches have tonight…It’s fine, but I expected something more fun…Kidman sinks in a chinlock…I have no issue with wrestlers taking a little break, especially these fellas, who are putting in a cardio workout with a few gymnastic flips in there besides…But the same mediocre chinlock that no one bothers to work is a boring, obvious way to do it…They both exchange a string of two-counts on counters…Kidman tries for an SSP, but gets crotched…Blitzkrieg slips, but still somehow manages to land a top-rope Frankensteiner…Blitzkrieg tries his finish, the Sky-Twisting Moonsault as Tenay calls it…He misses…Kidman quickly hits a back suplex and an SSP for the win…This was just like the rest of this show…Fine, longer than it needed to be, not helped by the disinterested commentary… Horace Hogan faces Kaz Hayashi…Speaking of stuff that doesn’t happen until 2000, I cannot wait for the Jung Dragons to be a thing…Kaz, Jimmy Yang, and Jamie Noble…Hell yeah, I’m here for it…I am genuinely excited to watch 2000 WCW…Or at least 2000 WCW post-BatB…Kaz jobs to Horace, but I do appreciate Tenay at least trying to add some drama to this match by noting how cruiserweights have been running with heavyweights lately…Even if Rey Misterio Jr. has been having the bulk of that success…This match is at least not ten minutes or more…Kaz hits a bulldog, but gets clubbed out of the air on a dive…I think the finish is coming, but Kaz Frankensteiners Horace to the outside to get out of a powerbomb…He “hits” a dive that Horace doesn’t come close to catching, then lands a jumping kick from the top rope for two…That’s as close as he gets as he gets snagged and slammed, then hit with an H-Bomb for three…No, not the tag team version of that move that you’re probably thinking of…The Horace Hogan version that’s just a shitty Samoan Drop… There’s a recap of the U.S. Championship Tournament so far…Meng and Scott Steiner have moved on…There’s still no bracket, but I’ll just wait until the tournament ends at Spring Stampede to take a look at one…Already, though, this tournament seems far more straightforward than the tag tournament… Booker T. defends the Television title tries to move on in the U.S. Championship Tournament against Saturn!...Saturn takes his chainmail off, but keeps his corset and skirt on…Saturn should use that corset like D’Lo Brown uses his chest protector…Booker, in fact, points this out to the ref numerous times…I’m like MIX IT UP FELLAS…Even Tony S. wants some action…I get it, though, Booker and Saturn are doing some mind-games/working the ref stuff…Saturn gets in some kicks, but can’t land an elbow after shooting Booker into the ropes. Booker locks in an armbar as we go to break… We come back and Saturn ducks under a clothesline and Booker spills outside…Saturn hits a vertical suplex and sends Booker into the stairs…He launches the other set of stairs at Booker, but Booker dodges it…Back in the ring, Saturn, uh, works a crappy bearhug…Booker forearms out, so Saturn hits a standing side kick, then locks on an octopus hold…OK, that’s a much better “work the back” hold…I like a good bearhug, but not from guys who are Saturn’s size on guys who are Booker’s size…If Mark Henry is the one sinking in the bearhug, that’s another story… Back to their feet, they hit a series of standing switches that ends with Saturn landing an overhead suplex…Saturn chokes, then locks in a sloppy-looking sleeper…Huh, I’m not feeling Saturn’s choices on offense in this thing…Booker works back up and they counter one another’s whip attempts until Booker lands a side slam…Booker charges himself right into a Saturn boot and gets release German suplex’d…Saturn hits his dress punches, but I guess that’s a no-no spot for TBS because the camera zooms way in on Saturn’s face and torso…Saturn hits a big top-rope splash for two…Saturn shoots Booker in, but gets reversed and hit with a spinebuster on the rebound…Booker continues his 5MoD with an axe kick and a pancake…Booker misses a Houston Side Kick…Saturn ducks under it and hooks Booker from behind, but Booker rolls through and rolls up Saturn for a flash three-count…That was decent, but it should have been better… A Goldberg video package plays before the main event…Ric Flair defends the World Heavyweight Championship against Barry Windham in said main event…I think this match should be booked so that Flair and the Horsemen beat the shit out of Windham with no recourse from the referee to really get over what Flair will be like as the company’s leader…Tony S. actually does a good job of talking about Flair becoming power hungry by mentioning that Bischoff was a reasonable dude back in the pre-Nitro days until he got power and ended up going nWo…Thank you for doing your part to help explain this heel turn, Tony…I still think everyone needs to do a better job of talking about how David drove this heel turn, though… Flair stops wrestling Windham to threaten to have sexual relations with a few of the fans’ significant others…Windham takes the time to complain to Charles Robinson about Flair pulling his hair…Tony and Heenan bitch at one another on commentary…Then Tenay joins in…I take back my thanks, Tony…This match is dull, but it’s shorter than the other dull matches on this show, so that’s a plus…I am cool with Flair giving a lot to an up-and-comer like Rey Misterio, but doing that to an over-the-hill Barry Windham, not so much…We get another discretion shot as Windham yanks Flair’s tights down on a sunset flip attempt…Someone tell Flair that the tights spot SUCKS…And then pass that note along to Shawn Michaels even though he’s inactive right now… Flair, who beefed with referee Charles Robinson during the match against Rey on Nitro, does it again when Robinson dares to make a count on a Windham pinfall attempt…I’m assuming that we’re doing a whole “Robinson is pretending to be pressured by Flair, but will turn out to be a full-fledged HEEL REF” deal…Windham hits a suplex and floats over, but Charles Robinson takes his time on the count, and Flair kicks out…This was entirely the wrong match for Flair and Windham to have… There’s this whole story where Windham backstabbed Flair…It calls for outright nefarious bullshit to happen to Windham…Instead, Flair’s just doing his typical heel Flair TV match…Windham hit a superplex, but Robinson is slow on the cover…Robinson tries to pull Windham off Flair in the corner…Windham threatens Robinson and Flair jumps him from behind and locks on a Figure Four…Arn Anderson comes out, pulls Windham to the ropes, whispers something into his ear, and convinces Windham to abandon the match…This isn’t intriguing at all…It’s just dumb…That’s the show, by the way… This show was boring until the end, when it became baffling (and not in a good way)…OWWW…Poor Thunder, you deserve to be live every week and for people to actually give a shit about booking you decently…