SirSmUgly

I really like tier lists, too. I don't have to pick between Bret Hart or Randy Savage as "the best wrestler of all time." I just plunk 'em on the S-tier next to Jim Breaks and Jushin Liger and Rey Misterio Jr. and the other handful of guys who I think I'd legitimately consider "the best ever" on any given day.

I mean, it's not surprising. You're comparing pro wrestling, a worked sport that the media takes far less seriously than legit sports, to boxing. No one's gotten Meltzer out of the paint because there are simply many fewer people trying to in the first place. I love DVDVR and we'd all be better off if Dean Rasmussen had circulated a popular competing newsletter as widely as Meltzer did, but alas. There just isn't the history of sportswriting on professional wrestling that there is for boxing or for anything else, so comparing the two is an unfortunately false equivalence.

Ebert or Kael were better writers, stronger critical thinkers, and were more well-rounded in their tastes than Meltzer is in his. I don't think they're comparable as critics, and I think one of the things I wish the most was that someone with a stronger background in writing and critical theory than Meltzer standardized the level of discourse around analyzing matches. For example, Ebert could find as much joy in a well-made raunchy comedy or animated film as he could in an Oscar-worthy drama, but Meltzer very much has a somewhat specific style that he prefers over all others and which I think puts blinders on his ability to recognize that wrestling matches can be good in more ways than the narrow ways that he thinks they can be.

I BROKE WAHOO'S LEG CENA'S SPIRIT

I think the point is that WWE didn't send a bunch of Evolve wrestlers and then have Rob Stone point out the Evolve/WWE-on-Tubi relationship. I suppose we'll still get WWE supplying replica world titles to the winner of the PBA Playoffs, too, but it's strange that they don't make their relationship more explicit post-Smackdown-on-Fox.

Mike Awesome being the only guy in the company to like Disco would have been hilarious. That and Awesome trying to pick up women, nearly sealing the deal despite being a quirky weirdo, and having Disco blow it up at the last second with a dumb remark. Yeah, that could have been fun midcard comedy stuff. And their matches would have been good, too!

Show #262 – 16 October 2000 "The one with quite a few BLEEEEEEEEEEEP promos that talk about BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and definitely, the segment with the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP was really BLEEEEEEEEEEEEP" We’re still Nitrooooooooing in Australia, this time in Melbourne. Straight from the Nitro intro, we get a tag opener that pits the Boogie Knights against Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire in a rematch for the WCW World Tag Team Championships. Alex Wright drops an ACHTUNG ACHTUNG, HIER IST ALEX WRIGHT, which I may have mentioned before that I find to be an underrated catchphrase. Disco says that the Cat has pronounced that the other Thrillers are barred from ringside and the match cannot be re-started, its decision cannot be overturned, etc., etc. It's a bummer that, as far as I can guess, the Cat’s babyface commissioner role is probably coming to an end at the hands of Mike Sanders. It’s clear that we’re headed in that direction, but I like the Cat in this role. I’m digressing, and really, I shouldn’t, because this is a good opener. Disco finds himself in deep doo-doo as FIP, though Jindrak and O’Haire get over with the crowd as babyfaces by unloading with offense during this section of the match, including Jindrak springing from the mat to the top rope and drilling Disco with a rana. The only thing keeping this match from a good list is that it’s a mite short and there’s not really a shine segment, though again, Jindrak and O’Haire end up as the babyfaces by the end of the match. There’s a ref bump, and though Disco lands a Chartbuster on Jindrak, KroniK (not on the Cat's banned list) walks down, beats up the Knights, and leaves Alex Wright open for a Seanton Bomb that ends the match. Kevin Nash sends Mike Sanders to do things that are useful to him, like threaten the Cat, and asks Sanders not to do things that are useless to him, like book him in a match tonight while he’s hung over. Mike Sanders insults Ms. Jones’s hairdo after a commercial break, which is absurd as it is a lovely hairdo, and she is smoking hot. Anyway, the Cat and Sanders bicker, which leads to Sanders booking Nash against Sting and the Cat upping the ante by making it a Lumberjack Match. Lance Storm (w/Team Canada), in his opening mic work, says that his second straight week in Australia is wearing on him, and he shouts out cricket as one of the things that is driving him nuts. I agree. What the hell do those scores even mean? What the fuck is a test? I don’t like it. Play baseball instead. The crowd is inflamed by this insult to a sport that is far worse than baseball and starts chanting YOU ARE A WANKER. Even if that claim is true, Storm’s just keeping the pipes clean to maintain a healthy prostate, which is a practical way to upkeep one's health and probably saves the Canadian national health system cash in the bargain. Ah, the power of preventative health care. Anyway, Team Canada works a six-man tag against the Mistfits in Action, specifically Storm, Skipper, and Duggan versus Loco, Cajun, and A-WALL. Rection immediately comes through the crowd to jump Storm and gets dragged away by security. This is another too-short match, but it’s enjoyable enough. Chavo Jr. isregularly doing a Frog Splash now, and he’s also making me wish that we could get Chavo/Storm for fifteen-plus because of this sequence they’re having with one another. The match breaks down and there’s another ref bump, after which Loco dropkicks Skipper off the apron and through a table set up earlier by A-WALL. Gunns slides a chair into the ring that Storm intercepts and uses on the babyfaces, though Stevie is skeptical that she was trying to help Loco. Yup, always assume a swerve, Stevie. Cajun gets a small package for two; Storm grabs Cajun’s leg while he kicks out; Storm hangs on, flips upward, and rolls into a Canadian Maple Leaf to force a tap from his opponent. You know what, sometimes I think it’s good to consider the little joys in life, especially when feeling unsettled or that there's too much tumult or negativity going on in one's life. For example, I hadn’t had a Butterfinger in literal years, but I was watching a YouTube video of some Londoner kids trying them – Oh yeah, they don’t have them in the UK, I realized – and then I bought some mini-Butterfingers from a Dollar Tree and crushed them up in some French Vanilla ice cream that I bought from Trader Joe’s. What a lovely treat that was! It was a nice little thing that I did for myself that brought some joy to my day. I have another couple of tiny bars that I’m going to crush up sometime this week in another scoop or two of that ice cream. It's the little things like that which help me survive tumultuous experiences, such as a Shane Douglas/Konnan mic battle in which Konnan calls Douglas mentally handicapped and threatens to have sex with Torrie before there’s a Rey/Konnan/Tygress vs. Shane Douglas three-on-one match that includes a FACE FULLA STUFF and Douglas macing the Animals, handcuffing Konnan to the ropes, and beating down a sorely misused Rey Misterio Jr. The Perfect Event bickers with one another about their poor performance against Goldberg last week; Kevin Nash forces them to shake hands and make up. Rey does a stretcher job because he, um, took a Tombstone Piledriver from Shane Douglas. Stop it with the unnecessary stretcher jobs, WCW. Mike Awesome and Crowbar wrestle The Perfect Event (w/Kevin Nash); Nash joins commentary. Nash does not like the Mr. Perfect-slash-“Exodus” knockoff theme that TPE is using and makes a THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID JOKE, and that’s only in the first fifteen seconds after he’s sat down. The match is perfectly cromulent as Stasiak is the only completely useless guy in the ring, both shoot and, according to the narrative on commentary, in kayfabe. TPE can’t get their timing right and pick up bickering at one another again; Crowbar and Awesome take advantage with a baseball slide and a dive, respectively. Stevie rightly points out that TPE hasn’t worked together regularly in months and thus is probably rusty while Nash thinks about choking Stasiak a la Bobby Knight. I’d like to see Bobby Knight vs. Latrell Sprewell in 2000. It’s a shame that Spree didn’t get a chance to wrap his hands around Knight’s neck at some point. Stasiak tries to order Palumbo around, and almost none of his orders end up leading to positive things for TPE. Commentary continues to hammer that Palumbo is the competent one of the team, and in fact, Palumbo saves Stasiak from being crushed by an Awesome top-rope splash. Stasiak hits a superplex for two, but quickly loses control and has to be saved by Palumbo again. Alas, Palumbo holds Awesome in place for a Stasiak punch that is ultimately wayward. Awesome takes the opportunity to suplex Stasiak and hit him with a top-rope plash for three. Nash gets in the ring and breaks up a scrap between Stasiak and Palumbo, then forces them to hug one another. This Coach Nash gimmick is so strange and random. Oh, lovely, it’s more of Shane Douglas talking, this time to Pam Paulshock. Douglas wants a shot at Booker T.’s world title. Torrie insults Paulshock, probably because Torrie feels insecure or something, or maybe just because she’s a woman and that’s what women do. Who cares, it's nonsense either way. Why do I have to see more Shane Douglas tonight? David Flair storms into Mike Sanders’s office and demands (and receives) a match against Buff Bagwell at Halloween Havoc in a…um…a DNA Match? *sigh* Kwee Wee (w/Paisley) goes at it with Johnny the Bull, the latter of whom attacked him the previous week, if you’ll recall. Tony S. points out that these dudes were at the Power Plant together, which I guess is the spine for this mini-feud. In a shocker, Kwee Wee goes super-Saiyan and beats the Bull in about twenty seconds when the Bull, who is a walking injury factory, blows out his ankle in an awkward landing off a monkey flip. They show a replay of it after the break, and the crowd goes OHHHHHHHH when they see the Bull fuck his ankle up on the TurnerTron. The Cat (w/the lovely Ms. Jones) starts his promo with a declaration to the whole world: MARK MADDEN, I HATE YOUR FAT ASS. Cut to Madden with a bemused look on his face. The Cat wants to settle this whole commissionership deal with Mike Sanders, who walks out annoyed. His buddy the Bull has a broken ankle, and he’s not in a frame of mind to wrestle the Cat tonight. He will, however, wrestle the Cat at Halloween Havoc for the commissionership. Sanders and the Cat proceed to insult the ladies in one another’s lives, at which point Sanders calls out KroniK to beat up the Cat. They advance on the ring, but Goldberg’s theme plays; Goldberg joins the Cat in the ring. Sanders wants to back KroniK off, but KroniK sticks around to cut a bad promo on Goldberg in which they promise to make a lot of cash ending Goldberg’s WCW career. Adams calls Goldberg GOLDILOCKS and himself and Clark TWO BEARS. When Adams called himself and Clark TWO BEARS, I know that some overly-horny wrestling fan was inspired to write a bit of wrestling-based slash fiction and post it to their pre-Tumblr erotic literature Angelfire page. In a nice spot, Goldberg cuts in with a yell and Sanders sells the gravity of Goldberg’s voice by bumping for it. Security keeps everyone separated to end the segment. Nothing says, “We released way too many wrestlers to cut costs, and now we’re struggling to put together meaningful cards on television” like Shane Douglas (w/Torrie Wilson) getting this many segments on a single Nitro. Before Douglas's bout with Booker T., Mike Sanders corrals David Flair to do an unspecified job for him. Booker’s theme cuts out the first half of his call-and-response opener and just says HATE THE GAME, and while I would never use a strong word like “hate,” I do disdain the guy for a multitude of reasons. Scott Steiner is apparently already out here and on commentary, and the guy babbles on and gets bleeped for about a good twelve or fourteen seconds, then Madden cuts in by responding with a surprised RALPHUS?!?! before Steiner’s response is also bleeped. I can only imagine what that lunatic Steiner actually said there, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. Steiner wants to know more about Stevie Ray’s freaks, and then just goes off on some woman, and it’s mostly bleeped, and Stevie is unsure how to respond to any of that, and the only line of Steiner’s that gets through is WHAT’S DEEPER, HER FACE OR A PIZZA. What?! I’m baffled by everything that’s happening right now, and that’s before we cut back to Konnan marching purposefully toward the ring and shrugging off Tygress. All of this stuff with Konnan and Sanders and Dopey Dave sort of takes me out of the match. Stevie actually agrees with Scotty that relying on the support of the fans isn’t an optimal approach to centering oneself and locking in, but hey, Booker’s just different like that. Scotty, disgusted: “Your brother ain’t right.” There’s an obligabrawl. In a funny spot, Stevie and Scotty continue to kinda sorta bond over at the desk when Stevie says that Midajah would kick Madden’s ass and Scotty laughs about it. Shane Douglas fucking sucks. Here he is with a chinlock after winning a shitty obligabrawl. There is way too much Douglas offense in this match. I’m totally reconsidering how I perceive Douglas’s first ECW run because, while I found him acceptable the first time I sat down at watched through that stuff partially because his reputation proceeded him as a strong heel anchor, the way I feel about it now is that he was basically ’02 Triple H or '04 Jeff Jarrett in a bingo hall. He’s yet another heel whom I don’t want to see beaten for being so dastardly because I'd rather not see him at all. Stevie and Scotty bantering back and forth is funny as hell to me, and it carries me through Douglas’s control segment. Book escapes the segment with a nice reverse neckbreaker and summarily makes a comeback in which he goes all 5MoD. Scotty is fun on commentary, yelling out that he knows Booker’s moves and saying dismissively about the Franchise, “If I can call him that.” His stream of consciousness approach to commentary is interrupted when he attacks Billy Kidman for being knocked from the apron during a run-in and clattering into Midajah as he tumbles. Konnan runs out and so does Jarrett, and they all brawl at ringside while Booker finishes off Douglas with a Book End in the ring. O-VER-BOOK-ING! *clap* *clap* *clapclapclap* Pam Paulshock interviews Midajah, Scott Steiner, and Jeff Jarrett. Midajah and Scotty both get bleeped, and Midajah’s getting bleeped while going off in Spanish besides. I’m not seeing how Jarrett is expected to follow that on the mic. Oh, wait, he gets bleeped too. That’s how. Whatever he said got a chuckle from the crowd. Dopey Dave is in the ring when “Thus Sprach” plays and Ric Flair struts his way over to commentary. Goldberg’s theme plays and Dopey Dave is fucked, man. Totally fucked. Ric is strangely unconcerned on commentary. Tony S. pimps the NBA on TNT starting in a couple of weeks in between questions about why Mike Sanders would do this to Dopey Dave. Goldberg looks at Dopey Dave while Dave tries to chop him as if Dopey Dave is an idiot, which he is, and then spears the fuck out of the dude. He eyes Ric over at the desk as he hooks Dave for a Jackhammer and hits it for three. Ric doesn’t seem entirely happy about Goldberg killing off his kid, at least. Pam Paulshock asks Billy Kidman and Konnan about this OG Filthy Animals reunion, and Kidman remarks that the Animals are tighter than Paulshock’s chest in the top she’s wearing, which gets an amazing GIFfable facial expression out of Paulshock. Konnan makes fun of Shane Douglas’s promo delivery style and overdone catchphrases, which a) is entirely true, but b) is not exactly coming from the best messenger for this message. Scott Steiner is in the ring and provokes an AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE (OY OY OY), and when his call gets a positive response, Steiner says that he’s now going to be modifying the saying because all these Australians are WHITE TRASH. His modification is bleeped. He beats up a plant at ringside who was enraged by his words while Billy Kidman comes to the ring. Steiner walks around out at ringside and starts to talk shit to a guy with a “Steiner for P.M.” sign, but eventually figures out that the sign indicates that the guy holding it is a fan of him, and he moves on to yell at someone else. Steiner versus a cruiserweight is a recipe for fun televised wrestling, huh? This is a slightly lesser copy of his match with Rey Misterio Jr. from the previous week, but it’s still pretty enjoyable. Like that match against Rey, Steiner wins it with a Super Samoan Drop and a Steiner Recliner. Jeff Jarrett wrestles Konnan (w/Tygress) in our next bout. Konnan is a total hypocrite and does tired mic work in an annoying cadence while hitting catchphrases that are worn out. FEEL IT, THAT’S ENOUGH was funny for two weeks in late 1999, dude. There’s an obligabrawl almost immediately, and I again think it’s a bummer that Jarrett took the worst possible lessons from his second WCW run. Tygress preps a FACE FULLA STUFF, but Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson come to the ring and stop all that. Jarrett has space to grab his guitar, KABONG Tygress after Konnan moves out of the way, and land a Stroke on Konnan for three. Jarrett sticks Konnan in a Scorpion Deathlock after the match, which Sting views on a monitor backstage. Sting, it’s almost needless to say, is not pleased with this show of utter disrespect on Jarrett's part. Kevin Nash was given his own PR-specific beer label by a Queensland brewery called Big Sexy’s True Brew. A mass of wrestling fans from Los Angeles did not descend on the brewery to boo the shit out of Nash, however. It’s main event time! The lumberjacks, which I think number every other wrestler still employed by this company or something near it, enter the arena. Nash and Sting follow; they have an eight-or-so minute match in which I’m just waiting for the lumberjacks to turn the tide of the bout. Sting takes a beating early, but turns it around and locks Nash in a Scorpion Death Lock. The Thrillers reach in and yank Nash out of the hold and to ringside. Nash hobbles back into the ring, where Sting yanks the top rope up into his balls, but Nash manages to big boot Sting out of the air on a Stinger Splash attempt. Nash scores two on a side slam, lands a seated splash against the ropes, and puts on a neck vise. One guy who isn’t at ringside is Scott Steiner; he runs down the ring with Midajah in tow and attacks Booker. Booker quickly flips the momentum and beats Steiner down in the aisle, which sparks everyone else at ringside to brawl as well. KroniK is also not at ringside, so they walk out to join the brawl. In the ring, Sting fights up and lands a couple of clotheslines, followed by a Stinger Splash and a goofy-looking ref bump where Sting dropkicks Nash forward into Charles Robinson, who is sandwiched in the corner and summarily knocked out with a Stinger Splash. Jeff Jarrett sneaks up with his guitar and KABONGs Sting as Sting leaps into another Stinger Splash; Nash covers for a slow three count from Robinson. End show. This wasn’t a very good show, but it was pleasant enough. Even if half of it was bleeped. 1.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I sure hope so. IMO, WCW hasn't had a full month of good television since April of 1999. It hasn't had two straight months of good television since June and July of 1998. This has been a rough two-plus years of television. (And I remember twiztor saying he was much lower on 1998 WCW than I was; that's probably a reasonably common position, which means that a lot of people who tried to stick with WCW got basically three straight years of bad television. Yeesh.) I'm hoping that we can chain two or three good months of TV together by the end. I think stabilizing the WCW World Championship by putting it on Scott Steiner will help quite a bit. The U.S. Championship is about to go into a black hole by the end of the year, but it's whatever at this point. I'm hopeful that the Cruiserweight Championship and Chavo/Helms will make up for that and more.)

I watched it on YouTube and they must have cut that part. I thought WWE and Fox didn't have a TV relationship anymore? EJ Tackett's going to be PBA PotY again, huh?

Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and thirty-one – 11 October 2000 "The WCW Gang officially enters the 'Better Build Some Homegrown Stars, Whoops, Too Late' Era" I’ve always wanted to visit Sydney, just like this THUNDER DOWN UNDER ([tm] Tony S.) is doing… Scott Steiner charges through the arena doors and immediately goozles Shawn Stasiak, demanding answers about whether Russo or Mike Sanders is in charge tonight and even more ardently demanding a match against Booker T…. This is the most lively Thunder crowd I’ve seen in a minute…It’s really too bad that WCW lost money on this tour because they botched the contract agreement with the arenas and local promoters… We open with Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson, which means that we’re at the nadir of this show early on!...Things can only go up from here!...BITCH COUNT: Only one, which means that ol’ Shane was restrained tonight…Douglas/Konnan at Havoc sounds terrible…It sounds even more terrible than Torrie’s voice, which means that it’s pretty terrible!…Lance Storm (w/Major Gunns) gets a face pop when his music cuts off Torrie’s ranting… Stevie Ray: “Major Gunns is one unhappy yak, Tony”…Storm immediately dissipates any cheers by declaring that [AUSTRALIA] WAS BASICALLY FOUNDED BY CONVICTS AND CONMEN…The heels are tagging together…Their opponents are General Rection and Konnan (w/Tygress)…Rection looks just like Johnny Grunge as he waves his arms from side to side while the Filthy Animals' theme plays…The babyfaces rush the ring and clear it…When the match settles down, Storm and Shane manage a blind tag that Konnan misses entirely and take over off that bit of misdirection… The shine segment was very brief, and Konnan is a near-immediate FIP…Stevie is annoyed that Tony calls Duggan “another great Canadian:” HE LIVES IN TITUSVILLE, FLORIDA…I’m just going to go ahead and say it: Tony S., Mark Madden, and Stevie Ray are the best booth this company has put on its major television or PPV shows since the Tony/Dusty/Heenan/sometimes-Tenay teams that would work PPVs back in 1996-ish…As someone who came into this watch completely dreading Madden, I can admit when I’m wrong…He tries way too hard with the Attitude-era filth and the shooty-shoot comments and can be bad for stretches, but he’s also fairly witty and is great at interplay if he’s got a good foil in the other color spot at a three-man booth… The commentary is far more enjoyable than the match, which ends with Tygress and Gunns doubling up on Torrie outside the ring while Rection gets the hot tag and cleans house again…Rection lands a Savage Elbow on Storm, but Douglas takes care of Konnan outside the ring…Shane lands a neck snap on Rection as Rection covers…However, the referee is busy breaking up the scrap between the ladies outside the ring, so he misses Billy Kidman running down the ramp to a nice pop and hitting Shane with a Kid Krusher…Douglas is food for a Rection No Laughing Matter that garners a three count…Madden yells FLY, FATASS, FLY as Rection launches…I think it’s okay if he says it… Shawn Stasiak warns Mike Sanders about Scott Steiner’s backstage rampage…Sanders says that Booker’s already in a non-title match tonight that should soften him up for Havoc, hoping to mollify Steiner…Stasiak refuses to be Sanders’s message boy for fear of his health, however… This dub over the Cat’s (w/Ms. Jones) theme is much superior to the BOMP BOMP BOMP BOMP dub…The first thing the Cat does is apologize for mean mugging Sam Greco…He introduces Greco as “the newest WCW superstar,” and I wonder, was he actually signed to WCW for a short time?...Greco leads an AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OY OY OY chant and shows negative charisma on the mic…Stevie and Madden are baffled by the chant, of course…Greco also specifically says that he signed a contract…Hold on...He did sign one, but didn't make it back to WCW television before it closed...He spent time in Wildside, though…Stevie is so unhelpful…He just SHITS on this guy for being incredibly boring…A sampling…“He’s about to put me to sleep, Tony”…“Cat, say something, please”…“Tony, how long is this segment?!”…On the one hand, Stevie is working a “pro wrestlers are tougher than all other athletes” gimmick right now…On the other hand, don’t bury the guy like that!...I mean, I laughed, but still! Mike Sanders and the Thrillers walk onto the stage…Sanders wants to know who gave ERNEST the authority to make hires…The Cat: “Hey, Mike, I hired your mom last night for a couple of hours and she didn’t complain”…Stevie and Tony do a comedy routine around that YOUR MOM joke which gets me going…The Cat basically roasts Sanders while Sanders tries to lay down the law… The Cat gets a LOOOOOOOOONG bleep for telling Sanders that the only pull he has is when he pulls his pud…Then, he books Sanders against “uhhhhh, old fat-assed Mark Madden over here”…What is happening right now?...Sanders responds by booking the Cat against Kevin Nash…The Cat revises his earlier booking and makes Sanders/Sting for later in the show (“Showtime…It’s not HBO, bitch, it’s Sting!”)… The Thrillers advance on the ring, and Stasiak slides in and takes a strike from Greco, then wobbles away punch drunk…Anyway, this was a very puerile, but admittedly also very funny segment… After the break, Sanders rallies the troops and sends Jindrak and O’Haire to the ring to defend their tag belts… Speaking of the tag champs, they defend their gold tonight against Lt. Loco and Cpl. Cajun…Jindrak and O’Haire continue to improve with some rapidity and are becoming a legitimately good tag team…It’s impressive how quickly they’ve gotten better at tag psychology especially…It’s not just the double teams, it’s stuff like how they cut off the ring or use misdirection…Cajun and Loco get the extended shine that Konnan and Rection didn’t earlier receive as they land offense on O’Haire…They even pull off a Demolition Decapitation (!!) for two… O’Haire manages to hit a jawbreaker to escape a go-behind and tag Jindrak…The heels take over, with Loco bumping around as FIP…The Thrillers hit their double-beal…Jindrak also hits an aesthetically pleasing lariat on Loco…Loco soon after escapes and hits a hot tag to Cajun, which is when the match breaks down…Stevie might just have Madden a bit pressed with his insistent bickering, but it’s actually entertaining bickering (at least to me)…The babyfaces clear the ring and toss O’Haire to ringside, but O’Haire makes it back in time to break up a cover off a Loco frog splash…The heels send Loco to the floor, but he trips them on a rope run…Cajun lands a rana that scores three and the gold…We’re getting another Dusty Finish, I assume… Let’s see, Sanders comes out and books an immediate rematch…OK, so Corporal and Loco were the one set of Nitro Era tag team champions that I couldn’t guess in the Sporcle quiz with all the listed WCW tag champs…I mean, I hate this weird booking where Sanders needs to keep saving this young tag team that should just be pushed as elite talent and not incompetent heels who need help to keep their titles…The match basically never settles down once it restarts…O’Haire grabs a belt one spot early, drops it to try and keep Jindrak from being sunset flipped, and then grabs it again to pelt Cajun in the head with it when Cajun tries another rana…Loco comes in for the save, but he’s deposited outside the ring…O’Haire lands a Seanton Bomb on the still woozy Cajun for three and another tag title change… A-WALL stomps to the ring after the match and destroys the once-again tag champs with chokeslams…Even with the wonky booking, this was a fun match…In fact, Jindrak and O’Haire have placed the last three matches on my Good Matches for a Playlist listing…Their opponents reveal why they’re improving so quickly despite how green they are…Mike Awesome, Crowbar, Disco Inferno, Alex Wright, and Chavo Jr. are all ranging somewhere from good to excellent as workers… Elix Skipper wants Pam Paulshock to know that THIS IS HIS HOUSE, HE BUILT THIS HOUSE, and also he’s not pleased with Billy Kidman costing Lance Storm atirp to the pay windah at the top of the show…Elix challenges Kidman to a match later tonight… A winded Jindrak and O’Haire hobble off to the locker room to ice up after getting congratulations from Mike Sanders on starting their second reign as champions…Sanders then tells Chuck Palumbo that Palumbo gets the honor of ending Goldberg’s streak tonight…It’s an honor that Palumbo tries to pawn off on the Bull…Sanders says that the Bull is already being deployed elsewhere… It’s great to see Booker T. get a nice pop…I guess instead of just booking him as a competent babyface more often, you can just go to another country to get that reaction…Booker cuts a boilerplate babyface promo on Scott Steiner…I remain astonished that DON’T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME got over as a chant-along…Of course, KroniK have been retained to take Booker T. out in a handicap match tonight…Tony S. immediately exhorts Stevie to STAY COOL…Booker takes a beating inside and outside of the ring...He comes back, but of course, there’s a ref bump…He hits an axe kick on Adams and Spinaroonies up and into a lariat from Clark…Charles Robinson is so nearly dead that he sleeps through Goldberg’s music hitting and Goldberg coming through the stands to save Booker from a High Times…Finally, Robinson wakes up and calls the match off…Goldberg to Booker: I SAVED YOUR ASS…Booker thought he had it himself… Chuck Palumbo calls his mom for comfort before he goes out there and gets murked by Goldberg… As Kevin Nash enters the building, Johnny the Bull asks him for help with the Thrillers’ problems…Nash the sage: “There’s no such thing as problems, only situations”… Billy Kidman has lost his first name again, according to the chyron…This Elix Skipper (w/Hacksaw Jim Duggan) theme dub is absurd…They kept the “Party Up” whistle in it, though…Skipper, like Jindrak and O’Haire, is green, but fun and has some clear potential as a long-term midcard addition to the company…Kidman sends Skip to the floor and dives onto both he and Duggan…Back in the ring, Kidman tries a lariat, but Skipper ducks and sends Kidman tumbling to the floor…Skipper lands a corkscrew crossbody to the floor, then tosses Kidman back in the ring and covers for two, then for one… Kidman immediately makes a comeback…He throws punches, then stomps Elix in the gut when Elix tries to Matrix under a Kidman lariat…HAHAHAHA…So, Kidman misses a corner splash, and Madden laments that every time he talks someone up, they immediately lose control of the match…Tony S.’s response: “Welp, maybe you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Mark”…BWAHAHAHAHAHA…Like anything good in dying days WCW, this commentary trio won’t last long at all, which is a shame… As for the match, Elix gets two off a European uppercut, then scores a back suplex…He tries a top-rope elbow smash that is not a Savage Elbow because of how he delivers it, and maybe it’s this kayfabe lapse in technique that causes him to whiff…Kidman clocks the fuck out of Skip with a haymaker, then scores a rebound bulldog for two…Kidman shoots Skip into he corner, but Skip hops behind him and hits a lovely full nelson suplex with a bridge for two… These fellas continue to trade close counts as Kidman hops behind Skipper on a body slam attempt and hits a Sky High for two…Skipper stops short on a rope run and then crotches a charging Kidman on the top rope…Elix busts out a rope-walking rana for two…This is a rollicking little TV bout…Kidman rolls behind Elix for a quick two, then scores a sitout facebuster…The wily vet Duggan decides that it’s time for some misdirection to help his charge…He slides a chair in the ring to Elix in full view of the ref…As the ref deals with the chair, he hops on the apron and hits Kidman in the back with his 2x4…Kidman tumbles to the mat, easy prey for a Play of the Day that scores the victory for Skipper…Wow, that was fun as fuck!...Between this match and the Jindrak/O’Haire tag match, I think we might officially be in the “Better Build Some Homegrown Stars, Whoops, Too Late” era, as I think caley put it a bunch of posts ago…Hey, that seems like an appropriate title for this review, actually… Pam Paulshock tries to get a few words with Chuck Palumbo…She patronizingly tells a worried Palumbo that she thinks it’s cute that he called his mom for comfort…She asks poor Palumbo what his mom gave him for advice…He whispers it into her ear…Paulshock: SHE TOLD YOU TO RUN?!...Palumbo told her that in confidence!...He brusquely walks away as she pleads after him CHUCK, IT’S OKAY, I TALK TO MY MOM, TOO…That was a charming comedic segment, actually!... Who will destroy the Lava Lamp Lounge set tonight?...Let’s find out…The auto-captioner reads Awesome saying “didgeridoo” as “doodle doo”…Why is there music playing over Awesome’s talking?...He does an AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE (OY OY OY) call-and-response far more charismatically than Sam Greco did it earlier…What the hell, now there are two tracks playing over one another…The music of his guests Kwee Wee and Paisley and the ‘70s funk music…Whoever it was who did this dub left music going the whole time for some insane reason…This whole segment is inaudible…Anyway, Awesome tries to hit on Paisley while distracting Kwee Wee with questions that Awesome doesn’t give a single shit about the answers to…Kwee Wee threatens Awesome, but is jumped by Johnny the Bull…Awesome is all for that until the Harris Bros. jump him…One of these worthless twins tells Awesome that there’s more of this sort of thing in store for him later in the show… When Kevin Nash finds out why the Cat booked Mike Sanders in a match against Sting – because Sanders booked Nash against the Cat – Nash shows disappointment, as he was preparing to bang some ladies tonight instead of wrestling…He still agrees to help Sanders formulate a plan for his encounter with Sting, though… Chuck Palumbo strides purposefully to the ring, Shawn Stasiak at his side, so that Goldberg can get a couple of quick victories to add to his nu-Streak…OK, this is a funny spot…Palumbo manages to get a couple moves in, goes up top, and launches himself with a diving shoulderblock…He rams shoulders with Goldberg and lands facedown in a heap while Goldberg takes a step back and simply stares at him…Two Jackhammers later (and one case of accidentally treading on the downed Palumbo’s arm later), Goldberg gets another two wins in a singles match somehow...The math never maths properly here in WCW… The Cat and Ms. Jones join commentary for Sting/Mike Sanders…Ms. Jones smiles and waves at the camera…I must have seen this episode in real time because I remember her doing that!...I totally swooned when I saw that all these years ago…The Cat and Mark Madden toss insults at one another, and in an enjoyable moment, the Cat suggests skinning Mark Madden and making a fur coat out of his hide…Madden cracks a genuine grin…He tries to claim that Tony S. is the one who should stop laughing, but the Cat got him with that one, too… So, we don’t get Sting…We get Jeff Stingret…Jeff Jarrett, who is used to laying down for dudes in this latest WCW run, lays down for Sanders under the guise of speaking for a washed-up Stinger…That misogynistic yak-hater Stevie hates on the lovely Ms. Jones because he’s actually a heel commentator…I hope Scott Steiner beats him up again…The real Sting makes his way out and beats up Jarrett…Mike Sanders grabs the bat that Sting dropped and attacks Sting with it…Sanders commences upon a short beatdown of Sting, but Sting works out of a Shinonomake and makes a comeback…The Stinger lands a couple of Stinger Splashes and a Scorpion Death Drop for three…Fun little competitive squash from Sting and Sanders there… Back in his office, an upset Mike Sanders is hurt that his fellow Thrillers didn’t help him out with Sting…Sanders: THERE’S NO “I” IN TEAM…Nash commiserates with the beaten Sanders… Kerry Packer is in the house…I know of him…He's yet another Australian media conglomerate billionaire…Madden begs him to buy WCW…I wish…God, look at me wishing for some media conglomerate billionaire to buy WCW…There are no good options…. The Harris Bros. face off with Mike Awesome and Crowbar…What the hell, man, why haven’t we progressed this Daffney/Crowbar storyline lately?…I don’t think we need multiple weeks of Crowbar in ‘70s clothes before Daffney asks him what the hell is up with his transformation and we get these two crazy kids together on screen, finally…As usual, the Harrises are complete trash, but Crowbar and Awesome are good bumpers and sellers and have fun offense, so this is a watchable match…Crowbar takes a beating as FIP… Crowbar hits a springboard moonsault and hits a hot tag to Awesome as Stevie takes up for gas station workers…It makes sense in context…Tony S. points out that Crowbar’s inability to strategize in the ring is maybe tied to his inability to hold a job beyond that of “gas station attendant” in the real world…Stevie is offended by classism way more than he's offended by yaks getting involved in situations they shouldn't sexism...This is hands down my favorite problematic commentary trio ever!...An Awesome Bomb through a table is cut off, but Crowbar breaks up a double-team table move with a chair shot…Awesome manages to backdrop the other charging twin through a table for three…This was fine, but they should do something better with both Awesome and Crowbar… Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) puts it to Rey Misterio Jr. (w/Tygress)…Before he does that, he grabs a mic and warbles out his many double entendres and such…These all get a babyface pop, of course…Steiner jaws at some fans before the match…Then, he beats down Rey, who of course sells the beating beautifully…I could watch Steiner military press Rey on repeat…Rey gets a couple of flares of offense, but it’s never sustained for very long… Rey's longest run of offense is kicked off by one awesome spot, though…Steiner tosses Rey over the ropes and does pushups, but he doesn’t see that Rey has skinned the cat…Rey springboard guillotine legdrops him and then rips off a series of offensive maneuvers, ending with a bulldog and a series of his own pushups…Rey goes up to try and finish it, but he leaps right into an overhead suplex…Steiner lands a top-rope Samoan Drop and then locks on a Steiner Recliner for three…That is one of the most fun competitive semi-squashes that I’ve seen in a long time…This Thunder has been a solid wrestling show… As Mike Sanders limps back out to the ring, Tony S. lets us know via promoting future shows that Nitro and Thunder are now being shot back-to-back on the same night…Ah, cost-cutting measures!...Sanders joins commentary to watch the Cat (w/Ms. Jones) wrestle Kevin Nash…Man, whoever did the dubbing on this episode was a total fuckup…They keep the Cat’s dub going for a good five seconds after we hear the wolf’s howl and the Wolfpac theme starts… Nash does some mock kung fu…Sanders gets on the apron and distracts the Cat as the bell rings, allowing Nash to take over…Madden: “The Cat’s in there sweating like a Nitro Girl awaiting the results of a pregnancy test”…*snerk*…This match is whatever, but I do get a kick out of joke character Ernest Miller unloading with kicks on a stumbling Kevin Nash…Miller scores a run of offense, but gets reversed on an Irish whip and eats a big boot…Nash celebrates for too long and the Cat gets to his feet to jump him, but Sanders jumps in the ring and hits the Cat with a chair shot to the dome right in front of the ref…Tony S. correctly points out that Sanders could just re-start the match based on past precedence…Nash is upset about taking the DQ loss, but Sanders convinces him to powerbomb the Cat onto the open chair…Booker runs down to make the save…Scott Steiner unevens those odds, but Sting follows and helps destroy the heels…Jeff Jarrett once again unevens the odds…The crowd sure would love Goldberg to run out here and tilt the momentum once again…Good news: He does!...Bad news: KroniK unevens the odds once more as the show ends… This was a very enjoyable show…Look what happens when you have good wrestlers do good wrestling matches with one another!...WOOOOO…

I just want wrestling to go back to primarily courting football washouts and letting them do pounces and spears and shoulderblocks and meaty forearms and all manner of suplexes. Give me a company with a roster of eighty percent football players, most of whom didn't give a fuck about pro wrestling growing up, and then the other twenty percent can be smaller indie workers there to mostly take bumps and occasionally overcome the odds.

I consider this take to be the hottest one in the thread, NGL.

Show #261 – 9 October 2000 "The one that's still mostly narrative nonsense, but it's in front of a hot Australian crowd, which is novel" WCW is terrorizing a whole ‘nother continent with its shows! Quick notes before we begin: First, Dave Penzer was briefly replaced as ring announcer by Pam Paulshock a couple weeks ago because he was suspended a week for some (alleged) in-flight fuckery on a flight out of Phoenix a couple months back. Media reports said that Penzer let a stink bomb off on the plane, but Penzer claims that Mickey Jay let off the stink bomb and that the only thing he was responsible for was passing Scott Steiner bottles of free vodka from his first class seat back to Steiner in coach. Whatever happened on that flight, I’m sure it was very dumb and annoyed all the non-wrestler passengers, considering that it was a commercial flight. Also, Vince Russo did not make the trip to Australia. He might be done, folks! It’s Brisbane! Here’s a limo! Someone’s getting out of it! It’s Jeff Jarrett dressed as Surfer Sting! Here’s our Nitro opening. Someone’s gon’ make Elix Skipper lose his mind up in here, up in here. Probably Mike Sanders, based on recent storylines. Someone has a sign promoting RajahWWF on the hard cam. I’m old. Actually, Elix’s opponent is Rey Misterio Jr. (w/Tygress). These future rivals for the WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Championships open the show, and I note that even the ring bell sounds different down under. Our commentary team tonight is Tony S., Mark Madden, and Stevie Ray! Yes! Anyway, Rey outmaneuvers Elix early while Tygress joins the fellas on commentary. Elix straight murders poor Rey with a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor in which Rey’s head hits the part of the floor that isn’t covered by padding. Rey’s okay, though, and sidesteps an Elix crossbody back in the ring before hitting a guillotine legdrop for two. Basically, these fellas unload with as many high spots as they can manage while a CANADA SUCKS chant starts. What, no love for the CANZUK alliance? Elix blows a ropewalking rana spot, but they go right back to hitting high spots relatively cleanly otherwise. Elix is a good athlete, but not a great one, and sometimes he tries to do great athlete stuff that is a bit beyond him. Rey unloads with a lariat and a series of overhand rights that knocks Elix to the floor; he follows with a seated senton splash, then puts Elix on the apron and sldes back in the ring. Elix tries to springboard onto Rey, but Rey simply ducks and lets Elix glide past him, then knocks him into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Meanwhile, Torrie Wilson comes out of the crowd and attacks Tygress. I’d sure love to see whatever high spot in the ring we missed because we were too busy looking at this weak catfight on the floor, but whatever it was, it turned the tide for Elix. Skipper lands a Play of the Day (not Play of the Week, Tony S.) and gets three. That was a fun opener, if a bit sloppy in spots and too busy on the finish. In a baffling bit of production, Shane Douglas converses with the Boogie Knights about having sex with Torrie (I think; the sound mixing is off), and we cut away from that discussion to see the Thrillers walking around backstage even though we can still hear Douglas claiming that Torrie’s GONNA GET HER ASS FRRRRANCHISED. Gross. The Thrillers, minus Reno, make their way down the ramp. Stevie says that Reno’s been in too many fights to get into Australia, so I suppose that the guy had a shoot prior record. Mike Sanders claims that he’s the new commissioner, which I’m sure the Cat will have something to say about, but right now, he’s booking a (sigh) Down Underwear Match between Torrie and Tygress, which is of course (as if you couldn't guess) a “strip ‘em near-naked” match. Sanders talks up Russo, a guy whom the crowd thinks absolutely sucks. Yes. Yes, he does. Anyway, Sanders says that his next goal will be to book someone to end Goldberg’s nu-streak, but he’s cut off by the Cat and the incredibly lovely Ms. Jones. The Cat threatens Sanders with physical violence, and the camera cuts to the Thrillers stepping up around Sanders instead of staying on Ms. Jones, dammit! The Cat re-thinks his plan and says that they should team up on booking a great show instead, then suggests that they all have a fun dance party to mark the occasion. He invites his backup, the Misfits in Action, to boogie with him. The Cat’s music hits, and the Cat boogies a bit before punching Sanders square in the jaw; the rest of the Thrillers are cleared out by the Misfits. The Cat and Sanders challenge one another to a wrestling match later tonight. Disco Inferno practices Alex Wright’s dance in the mirror, alongside Alex Wright himself. Stacy Keibler (not “Hancock” anymore, if commentary is to be our guide) shows up to the arena; Jeff Stingret acts like an asshole backstage while production fucks up and plays the Cat’s music for a second. Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire get a jobber entrance for their tag title defense against the Boogie Knights. Stevie Ray has it in his notes that the Boogie Knights are still called the Dancing Fools like they briefly were back in, like 1997 or maybe 1998? It was so long ago. He’s confused about the naming conventions here. We all are, Stevie. We all are. That’s why I made sure to call them the Boogie Knights in these reviews all the way through. Jindrak tilt-a-whirl slams Wright to turn the tide of the match after an initial flurry of offense from the babyfaces, then does an awful Alex Wright dance. Disco gets in the ring and batters Jindrak with the goose to regain control for his team, but O’Haire and Jindrak double up on him after Jindrak shoots him into the ropes and he is immediately worked over. After only a minute or two, O’Haire goes up for a Seanton Bomb, so Wright casually walks over from his spot on the apron and trips him; Disco soon gets a hot tag. The Knights unload with double-team offense on Jindrak and score a close two count, but O’Haire trips Wright on a rope run. That allows the Thrillers to land a double atomic drop and a double dropkick. Stevie pretends that he’s never even heard of the Rock ‘n Roll Express when Tony references him, which is an obvious example of professional jealousy if there ever was one, Stevie. Wright is now in trouble, and the Thrillers destroy him, but they go to the well one too many times on an assisted corner splash, and Wright dodges and gets a hot tag to Disco. Disco beats down both guys, lands a DDT on Jindrak, and tries to cover both guys separately, but only gets a pair of two counts. Stevie asks who the legal man is, but that sort of thing doesn’t matter here in 2000 WCW, buddy. You should know this. O’Haire explodes out of the corner with a lariat, but Disco gooses ducks, and ref Charles Robinson not only eats it, but takes a nasty fucking flip bump on the top of his neck to sell it. That was the best bump of this match, and that’s not meant to insult the four wrestlers competing in this bout at all. Billy Silverman hustles to the ring and gets there just in time to count three on a Disco Chartbuster to Jindrak that earns the Boogie Knights the three and the titles—wait, no, Mike Sanders walks out and says that the Knights should have been disqualified before the other Thrillers slide into the ring from behind and beat up the Knights. Sanders says that the match will now be restarted; the Thrillers pin the Knights for three in a Dusty Finish that I wouldn’t have booked on a special trip to Australia even if it does fit with the story they’re telling about Sanders being so crooked. The Nitro Girls visited koalas, kangaroos, and all sorts of dope-ass marsupials at a koala preserve. Jeff Stingret does a mock Sting Mastercard promo in which he declares Sting to be washed and more interested in doing movies with Daisy Fuentes than wrestling. Creepy-ass Mark Madden conducts an interview with Stacy Keibler in the ring; he tries to touch her tummy (Stacy: “Ew, no, is that why you asked me out here?”) and then asks her who the daddy is. Stacy declines to respond, but she does beg Dopey Dave to stop acting like a lunatic and come back to her. Madden is like, HOLD UP, YOU DUMB SLUT, HOW COME YOU CAN’T TELL US WHO THE FATHER IS? ARE YOU A SLUT, OR DRUNK, OR A DRUNK SLUT? This obviously brings David Flair out; Dave attacks Madden for being a dick ducks Stacy’s attempt at hug and asks her what the hell she likes about Buff so much, then mimics Buff’s dance. His version looks like the Carlton and gets a laugh out of me. Dopey Dave’s bad dancing is a small highlight of these mostly bad late-stage WCW shows. Dave wants Stacy to take a blood test. Madden: HEY EINSTEIN, WE KNOW SHE’S THE MOTHER. This stupid prick Madden probably should have just stayed quiet, though, as drawing Dopey Dave’s attention when he’s in this sort of emotional state could get you plonked with a crowbar. Dave interrogates Madden on whether or not he’s the father, and to save his own skin, Madden points at Stacy and starts yelling TEST HER. Dave thinks about stabbing Stacy with a syringe, so Crowbar rushes down here dressed like a jackass/Mike Awesome to try and calm the guy down. Dopey Dave is mistrustful – YOU WERE ALWAYS JEALOUS OF ME WHEN I WAS WITH DAFFNEY (which is true!) – and he jumps Crowbar from behind before Mike Awesome makes the save. Pam Paulshock to Jeff Stingret: “You’re not fooling anyone, you bloke!” What? “Bloke” is not an insult! Call him a drongo instead! Look at this fucking drongo in his stupid face paint. Jarrett continues his whole “Surfer Sting used to be rad, but now he sucks” shtick. Promo: Halloween Havoc is coming up. I do not like the new logo. Tygress and Torrie tear each other’s clothes off. OK, so Madden and Stevie have decided that these yaks are too much for WCW and agree that they really shouldn’t be in the ring; Madden exclaims THE HARLEM BROTHERS, ME AND YOU, BACK TOGETHER, and oh yeah, Madden used to claim that he and Stevie grew up together back in the Harlem Heat Incorporated days. That was a pretty funny callback. Anyway, when it comes to this match, I’m just going to be super crude and say it: The only possible good thing about this match would be getting another look at Tygress’s ass. Wait, Tygress hitting Torrie with the Roddy Piper two-fingered eye poke was a cool spot, so make that two possible good things from this match. Tygress wins, but keeps her bottoms on as she does it - they are literally the only piece of clothing on either woman that isn't ripped off - so the committee didn’t even book the male gaze part of this match right. Shane Douglas rushes the ring and tries to hit Tygress with a Franchiser, but Konnan makes the save and then mocks Douglas’s shitty catchphrases before hitting his own nearly-as-shitty catchphrases. Vito and Mike Sanders bicker at one another backstage; Vito says he’ll fight anyone, and this makes Sanders keen to make a match for him later tonight. So, you put Jarrett in this Surfer Sting get-up, but you play the Crow Sting theme instead of “Man Called Sting” when Jeff Stingret walks to the ring? Come on, WCW production! Jarrett bullies Penzer into reading a note of introduction for Jeff Stingret; Stingret has some glossy 15x17s laid out on a table in the ring. The crowd chants that they would like to see the real Sting. Jeff Stingret says that he’s the only Sting in the ring that matters before promising to retire after he loses at Havoc. Jeff Stingret says that he’ll be signing autographs for fifteen bucks a pop: “Think how much this will be worth when I actually retire.” How many people would have held onto that autograph for another 24 years to cash in? Anyway, Sting rappels down from the top of the arena and beats up Jarrett. Commentary begs Sting not to destroy one of the two commentary tables they brought to Australia with them, and he’s nice enough to take it back to the ring, where Jeff Jarrett turns things around. I like that Madden pretends that the real Sting is actually Jeff Farmer: “He probably took a bus over from Japan.” Madden is such a goof sometimes. Sting no-sells a suplex through the autograph table as Madden yells OH NO, THE nWo STING’S REAL MAD like the total goof he is. Sting plows over Jarrett, hits a Stinger Splash, and locks him in a Scorpion Death Lock. Jarrett taps out while three refs run down and try to convince Sting to pretty please with sugar on top stop hurting poor little Jeff Jarrett. Sting finally gets bored enough to let Jarrett go; he breaks the hold and retrieves his ring jacket. After a commercial break, Scott Steiner asks an injured Jeff Jarrett who beat him up. Jarrett: “Sting jumped me.” Ah, not quite! I love this example of how heels automatically misremember things that literally happened ten minutes ago just to save some face. Steiner promises to take Sting out. Mike Sanders walks to the ring for a Cruiserweight Championship defense, I think. Well, he does introduce Kevin Nash as his backup for this next match, at least. This will shock you, but an Australian waves around a sign with a racial slur on it. Australia is a lot like America, except that the slurs all sound funnier if you don’t know the context! The Cat and Ms. Jones step onto the ramp, where the Cat introduces Booker T. as his backup. I correct my earlier statement; this is a non-title tag match. Booker starts out with Sanders and has little trouble putting in work on him. Sam Greco is out here at ringside, by the way. Anyway, the Cat also beats up Sanders until Nash gets a blow in from his spot on the apron, at which point Sanders and Nash double up on the one true commissioner of WCW. The Cat eventually does get a hot tag to Booker after shaking Sanders, even though I’m not sure Booker actually touches the Cat. I do get a kick out of Madden’s SPINAROONIE calls getting more and more despondent over the weeks. Anyway, Booker plows over the heels, then rather than hitting Sanders with a Book End, steps aside and lets the Cat land a Feliner for three. The Cat mean mugs Greco at ringside, but Sanders recovers and jumps the one true commish at ringside; meanwhile, Scott Steiner attacks Booker with his lead pipe, leaves him laying flat, and then challenges Sting to a match for later tonight. WCW’s production is somehow worse than it was when Leathers was in control. Dopey David Flair ignores Pam Paulshock’s pleas for sanity and instead challenges Mike Awesome to a hardcore match later tonight as he finds Awesome’s intervention earlier tonight to be verrrrrrrrrry suspicious. Vito cuts a boilerplate interview with Pam Paulshock after some adverts; can he break Goldberg’s nu-streak? No. No, he cannot. Goldberg wins it with the spear and Jackhammer in under a minute. Madden’s stupid ass points out that the very small roster will make it hard for Goldberg to match his previous streak numbers (that he didn’t compile in the first place). Get Jerry Flynn back in this company and Goldberg can rack up about five hundred wins by February of 2000. Johnny the Bull canes Vito after the match, but the Bull forgot that Vito and Goldberg are cool with one another. Goldberg comes back to the ring, tosses the Bull around, spears him, and Jackhammers him for, um, another victory? I guess we’re at five-and-oh, and you know what, I refuse to keep track of the numbers. Now KroniK’s music hits, but all KroniK does is stare down Goldberg from their spot on the stage. A car pulls up. Ooh, the intrigue! Mike Awesome is “That 70’s Guy” on the chyron, but the punctuation is incorrect. It should be “That ‘70s Guy,” as the apostrophe is a replacement for missing numbers (1970s), just as it is a replacement for missing letters when used in a contraction. Yes, this is a dumb thing to be annoyed by, I am aware. This is a trashy trashy, smashy smashy match; Mark Madden lands a Tommy Rich line on commentary, which amuses Stevie Ray. Then, Stevie and Tony make fun of Madden’s portly stature. I suggest that this should have been the three-man booth for Nitro until the end, especially as all three guys give fewer and fewer fucks each week and just start to riff off one another. Alas, Madden is about to get himself fired. Meanwhile, Awesome dives over the rail and into Flair, who has already been dumped into the crowd. Then, he gives Dopey Dave an unprotected chair shot to the dome. Ugh. Overall, though, this is okay for one of these matches, even if it goes on an awful long time. Awesome lands a top-rope splash while Madden runs through as many imitations of NWA dudes from the ‘80s that he can; soon after, Awesome lands an Awesome Bomb for three. Ric Flair was the intriguing guy in the car that pulled up. We know this because he steps out and marches with purpose toward the building; back in the ring, Dave is trying to fight Awesome again, so Awesome kicks him away and sets up a table at ringside. Ric comes to ringside and asks Mike Awesome to please not destroy his dopey son’s body to match his dopey son's psyche. Awesome does the old man a favor and just drops Dave, then leaves. Ric gets in the ring to help his poor soon, but Dave pushes his father away and leaves as well . Major Gunns asks for an alternate top from Kwee Wee; before she can switch into the hot pink top that Kwee Wee offers her, Lance Storm walks into the dressing room and drags her away. Lance Storm (w/Team Canada) is up next, and I will never not get a kick out of Elix signaling that Gunns should wave the flag around more enthusiastically as they walk down the aisle. That’s a pretty good running bit they’ve got going there. Lance Storm is not a fan of Australia, much less the United States, so I guess that the CANZUK dream is, in fact, dead. Storm hammers the Australian techs for being an inch off on their setting of the ropes, which is hilarious to me. Stevie is aware that Australia and Canada are both Commonwealth countries and asks Tony S. what the deal is with Storm being down on a fellow Commonwealth nation, but Tony S. has no answers and in fact would like to consult an atlas before even thinking about answering Stevie’s question. So, it looks like Storm is wrestling Konnan (w/the now Juvi-less Filthy Animals). Konnan rocks the Vince Carter Team U.S.A. jersey; he wins a couple of arm drags while Charles Robinson sends all the seconds to the back. This is a Canadian Championship match, apparently, and Storm seizes control by posting Konnan’s shoulder and landing a vertical suplex for two. Storm disrespectfully slaps Konnan, which wakes the guy up; Storm stops Konnan’s punches with a jawbreaker and re-asserts control. The reigning champion gets two on a backbreaker, but gets really casual with things and is caught in a small package for two. Konnan follows with a lariat, but Storm beats him back to his feet on the standing ten count. A body slam sets Konnan up for a Storm diving headbutt, but Storm misses and eats Konnan’s 5MoD. Shane Douglas runs in and punches Konnan in the kidney right in front of the ref, who lets it happen even though he went to pains to send both men’s backup away from ringside. O…kay. Storm only gets two on a bridging back suplex, but he Dragon Screws Konnan and coaxes a tap out with a Canadian Maple Leaf. Wait a minute, didn’t Konnan kidnap Torrie last week? How did she escape? No, forget it, I’m asking too many logical questions about a show that was still under the purview of Vince Russo. After entrances, the Sting versus Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) main event goes about seven minutes, partially because Jeff Jarrett also has to make an entrance as the Mike Sanders-appointed special ref. This is worked like a handicap match, and Sting manages to control quite a bit of it. It’s only when Jarrett reverses a corner whip and sends Sting right into the waiting arms of Steiner for a belly to belly that the momentum of the match shifts. Steiner also clears out a ref whom I would guess has been sent by the Cat to even things up. Sting eventually manages a sustainable comeback and lands a Stinger Splash, though Jarrett steps in front of him on another one and allows Steiner to escape the ring, get his lead pipe, and crack Sting with it. Sting and Jarrett double up on Sting, tossing him around the ringside area before dumping him back in the ring. The Cat and Booker T. run down the ramp; Booker is in a ref shirt, and he takes over the oversight duties while the Cat pummels Jarrett. Steiner hits a suplex and covers for two, but Booker stops his count and stares at Steiner. Steiner gets up, whiffs on two lariats, and eats a Booker boot to the face; he stumbles backward into Sting, who hooks him and scores a Scorpion Death Drop for three. Hey, did the babyfaces just stand tall? In the Nitro main event?! I guess everything does run counter-clockwise in Australia! This show wasn’t very good, but a lack of Russo and the novelty of it being in Australia brought things up a notch for me. A very tiny notch. 0.25 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I'm sorry, but in an era where the Rock actually got phrases like "poontang pie" and "popcorn fart" briefly over, I don't see Konnan's singalongs as an indictable offense. And if we're going to put him on the stand for bad promos, then the cops should have beelined to Shane Douglas's dressing room, cuffed him, and thrown him into Gitmo because he's a pro wrestling promo terrorist. (Though Konnan committed the actual crime of kidnapping later in the show, so maybe the cops just needed to wait an hour to be validated in their belief.)

BioWare hasn't made a universally beloved game since, what, Mass Effect 2? This isn't Neverwinter Nights/Baldur's Gate BioWare or KotOR/Jade Empire/ME BioWare unfortunately. This is Dragon Age/Anthem/Andromeda BioWare. I'm frankly surprised that EA hasn't taken them out back and put a bullet in their heads before dumping them into the same shallow grave that my poor, poor Westwood is buried in. I am hopeful that a lot of those BioWare devs, now out from under EA's oversight, can get some funding for their own projects. I tend to think that game failures are usually due to producer's oversight/developer's leadership being poor and not the inadequate collective talent and creativity of the general developers.

Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and thirty – 4 October 2000 "The WCW Gang stinks at putting on a pro wrestling show, so instead, here's my essay about how and why Billy Kidman exposed Buff Bagwell as the father of Stacy Hancock-Keibler's child" OK, before we Thunder, here’s my argument about how the exposure of Buff Bagwell as the guy who impregnated Stacy Hancock-Keibler ties into what we’ve seen over the past eleven months (and maybe more) of television…Please feel free to tell me if you think I’ve got something wrong…The long and short of it is this: I propose that Shane Douglas started in motion a series of events that led to Billy Kidman exposing Buff Bagwell’s affair with Stacy via the KidCam… Let’s think about where we saw the KidCam when it was used to expose someone…First, it was used to show Kidman that Eddy Guerrero was hitting on Torrie, which nearly broke up the Filthy Animals the first time around (Nitro Show #215). At that time, the Animals were feuding with Shane Douglas and the Revolution…Recall that before this KidCam incident, Shane even kidnapped and caged Torrie Wilson, degrading her verbally while he had her captive (Nitro Show #211)…This incident caused Torrie to fall in love with Shane, I would argue... Why would that make Torrie Wilson fall in love with Shane, a normal and emotionally healthy person might ask?...Well, I can’t answer that in a clinical sense as I’m not a psychologist, but I can say that we’ve had evidence of people treating Torrie (or other women) meanly and having it turn her on, such as when Kevin Nash kidnapped Gorgeous George and it turned Torrie on so much that she left David Flair's side to join him (Nitro Show #195)…Or when Hulk Hogan almost choked her (Nitro Show #236) and then later threatened to hit her before kissing her, and she was really into it (Thunder show number one hundred and ten)…We have evidence that her character is turned on by abusive men…So it’s no stretch to think that Shane Douglas spearheading her kidnapping, putting her in a cage, and verbally degrading her sparked some feelings for him in Torrie’s weird little heart… Alright, so we’ve got Douglas a) not liking Kidman and b) needing to break up his rivals in the Filthy Animals, and now c) he's got someone on the inside who is infatuated with him in Torrie Wilson…He witnesses the heat between Eddy and Kidman over Torrie from his seat at commentary during the Revolution/Animals match (Mayhem ’99) and decides to capitalize on it…The very next night (Nitro Show #215), KidCam footage of Eddy macking on Torrie is shown on the TurnerTron during a Kidman match…This essentially spells the end of this feud when the Animals fall to infighting…My best guess is that because Torrie already had feelings for Douglas, she reached out to him, telling him that she knew that Eddy was into her and that she could lure him in and cause Kidman to attack him by aggressively flirting with him…She also had access to the KidCam and could have made sure to have it on and in position to catch it all on tape… Meanwhile, Kidman is on edge about Torrie, and we know that he’d grown from overly-possessive back in November of 1999 to Randy Savage-like in his possessiveness of her by the summer of 2000…Now, Kidman has already shown his willingness to spy on Buff Bagwell with the KidCam, as when he does so when Buff tries to convince Scotty Riggs to support him in changing the finish of their match against one another (Thunder show number eighty-five)…I assume that Buff, who is soon established as a guy who will shamelessly hit on every woman in the backstage area, has at some point hit on Torrie off-screen…But even if not, his reputation as a ladies man precedes him and worries Kidman, who is wondering if Buff is trying to snake his lady…This spurs Kidman into using the KidCam to film Buff trying to go against the wishes of The Powers that Be…A jealous and possessive Kidman is retaliating by getting this footage and releasing it… So, my guess is that as we go into 2000, Kidman and Torrie are having issues off-screen…We don’t see them together on television in January of 2000 very much, but we could reasonably guess that Torrie is getting distant and Kidman is getting more possessive…Kidman thinks that maybe Torrie is cheating on him…Eddy isn’t around anymore, having left the company, so that only leaves Buff Bagwell as a prime suspect… Anyway, the KidCam makes its return to television in February of 2000, when Kidman and Torrie mess around with it backstage (Nitro Show #226)…Then, just a couple weeks later (Nitro Show #228), Kidman “loses” the KidCam and asks Torrie to help him find it…My assumption is that Kidman pretended to lose it so that both Torrie and Buff would be thrown off the trail when Kidman followed Buff around and secretly filmed him, thinking that Bagwell was trying to pry Torrie away from him…Over the next few shows, the supposedly lost KidCam catches Bagwell hitting on Symphony (also Nitro Show #228)…On Daffney (Thunder show number one hundred), proving that he has no issue with trying to sleep with someone who is already publicly dating Dopey Dave…That show where Daffney turns him down is also the show where Buff confronts Kidman about the KidCam and Kidman, having already established two weeks earlier that he’d apparently lost the camcorder, says that if Buff ever finds out who stole it to let him know, thus (falsely, IMO) denying that he was behind the recordings…Anyway, the KidCam continues to catch Buff hitting on women, many of whom are already taken…Liz (Nitro Show #229) is another example… But do you know who happens to be receptive to Buff’s advances?...Why, it’s Ms. Hancock (Thunder show number one hundred and one)!…Well, the seed has been planted for Hancock being interested in Buff even when apparently most women backstage are entirely disinterested (Thunder show number one hundred and four shows that Buff struggles with picking up WCW production techs, much less star valets)…One woman that Kidman never catches Buff propositioning is Torrie, and that’s because Kidman is sniffing up the wrong tree…Shane Douglas is the guy she’s cheating on him with, not Buff Bagwell… Once Torrie leaves Kidman for good, she ends up joining Shane Douglas publicly by helping Shane win a match…Who did she help Shane beat?...Why, Buff Bagwell (Bash at the Beach 2000), in a clear sign that Torrie was never into Buff, along with the equally-as-clear sign that she’s been canoodling with Shane for the past few months (at least when she wasn’t canoodling with Horace Hogan as she became ever more toxic in her unhappy relationship with Kidman)…And on Nitro soon after (Show #248), Douglas reveals that Torrie fell for him back in November of 1999 after he kidnapped her…I think the evidence here tells us that he actually isn’t lying about this… But Kidman has been so obsessive about Torrie and Buff, Torrie and Buff…While he battles Douglas for months even against the advice of WCW Resident Unc Stevie Ray, he continues to believe that Buff had something to do with Torrie leaving him…Maybe he was the first guy that Torrie cheated on him with, and that made it easier to eventually leave him for Shane…He’s got Buff on the brain and continues to follow him around…And that’s why Kidman is the one to get camcorder footage of Buff having sex with Stacy (Show #258)…A misplaced anger at Buff fueled by his own insecurities about dating Torrie combined with an ever-increasing assuredness that Buff successfully propositioned Torrie because he was a serial shot-shooter at the women working for the company led to Kidman uncovering Buff's affair with Stacy… This angle is the most logical angle that WCW has done in the Nitro Era in a lot of ways, and most of it happened under Russo…There is no way he planned this shit out in advance AND had Sullivan and Ferrara continue to execute this angle in the background for him when he was sitting at home in the late winter and early spring…I do think that someone in the writer’s room must have watched all the footage and worked backward to figure out that Buff is the best possible culprit, though…This storyline is almost entirely too logical just to fall together like this… Anyway, it’s a fantastic bit of storyline that feels totally in line with how the characters involved in it would have acted…Everything that each character did was clearly established previously on television…Honestly, piecing together this storyline is the most fun I’ve had with Russo-era WCW…I’m certain that Russo isn’t clever enough to set up Buff being exposed as Stacy's baby's daddy... However improbable it would appear at first thought, the KidCam and its whereabouts is one of the best running storylines in the Nitro Era, somehow…I’m putting the reveal from the previous Nitro on my list of great segments because even though by itself, it wasn't an amazing segment, in the context of all the evidence from the past year or so of shows, it's a fantastic reveal that should have been obvious....Problem is, it wouldn't be obvious at all if you haven’t been paying attention and picking up breadcrumbs…Which, why would you?...No one with any sanity would have been watching Nitro each week from November of 1999 to October of 2000…And if you were, you’d be so used to WCW dropping angles left and right that you wouldn’t think to recall past seemingly dropped angles that would end up actually being important to what was happening with David Flair, Stacy Hancock-Keibler, and Buff Bagwell months after those seemingly dropped angles happened… Oh, yeah, you probably wanted to know about Thunder…Sorry, had to get my fifteen hundred words in about that Shane-Torrie-Kidman-Buff-Dave-Stacy angle first… Speaking of the devils, Shane and Torrie meet the Natural Born Thrillers as the Thrillers arrive…Douglas kisses Mike Sanders’s ass before coaxing him into helping him with his little Konnan problem… Here’s our regular intro… The CHO-CHO-CHOSEN ONE opens the show…Speaking of guitar distributers, I wonder what the guitar makers who got a request to manufacture a hundred collapsible guitars with no guts in them and the word SLAPNUTS printed on them thought when they received their first order…Jarrett gabs about Sting…He argues that Sting’s been moping around too long in the Crow facepaint and hasn’t had the sauce since he was Surfer Sting…Jarrett urges Sting to retire already… Why are we continuing this Beetlejuice angle?...The little guy is here…I shoot agree with Jarrett’s “What the hell are you doing out here?” comment…Do you like shitty mic battles?...If so, have I got a Thunder opening segment for you!...Jarrett holds a charging Beetlejuice at arm’s length, then trips him as he throws a kick and puts on a Figure Four…In the back, Booker prepares to help, but is jumped by Scott Steiner with the lead pipe…Sting tries to make a save, but is attacked by a Sting mask-wearing fan in the crowd…The fan turns out to be Shane Douglas…Please send Russo’s dumb ass home already… Booker does a stretcher job…Stevie promises to take handle business for him at the show [Editor's note: He does not]…Scotty bashes up a dressing room…Midajah calms him down and says she has a plan to help him out…Steiner immediately starts bashing up the room again even though he’s interested in her plan… When you think of great Canadians, you think of names like Montcalm, Pearson, Downie, Trebek, and of course, Duggan…Hacksaw has a mic, which he is about to use to address both United States citizens in general and SGT. A-WALL in particular…Tenay’s heel act on color is unfortunately merely tragic rather than tragically hip…Actually, A-WALL just interrupts him before Duggan can make his way around to trashing the guyL…Duggan begs off, but that’s a sucker job…He throws some ham hocks and stampedes A-WALL into the post…Here’s an obligabrawl, and both men trade control back and forth… Stevie calls Scotty Steiner a “275-pound synthetic-injected coward”…I guess we’re just going to openly admit it, huh?...Though to be fair, I suppose that Scotty admits it himself…Duggan is in trouble in the ring and has to get some room with a series of low blows, but A-WALL tosses him to the floor anyway, then grabs the table that he brought to the ring and sets it up…There is zero chance Duggan is taking a table bump, right?...Duggan gets two off a clothesline after Reno comes to ringside and hits an Irish whipped A-WALL in the back with a kendo stick…I guess they spend a lot of time learning how to cuss in Canada because Duggan yells BULLSHIT right at the ref…Anyway, Duggan absolutely does not do a table bump…He slams A-WALL through the table and follows with an elbowdrop for three… Midajah pitches Mike Sanders on a match; we don’t hear what the match is, but Midajah ignores Sanders’s weak double entendres and gets him to go for it… Here’s a Sting interview with Pam Paulshock, the latter of whom has rightfully lost her ring announcer job back to Dave Penzer…Sting will see Jarrett at Havoc and Shane Douglas later tonight.. The Cat was such a fun babyface commissioner, so Mike Sanders replacing him on television as a boilerplate heel commissioner is sort of a bummer…Sanders lauds the job that he’s been doing as Russo’s stand-in while I hope that we haven’t seen the last of Ms. Jones…I sure hope she makes it to the end…Sanders is over the top here, histrionically claiming that Russo may be a GENIUS and even a GOD…Lex Luger watches on from a seat in the crowd…It’s October of 2000 and Totally Buff doesn’t exist yet…Huh… Sanders prepares to reveal the Goldberg match that he’s booked for Havoc when KroniK come to the ring…We saw KroniK essentially turn heel on Nitro, but commentary pretends that KroniK has come out to attack Sanders…KroniK teases a High Times on Sanders, but puts him down as Sanders crows about having booked them against Goldberg at Havoc…KroniK were very over babyfaces, so why the tweener-leaning-heel turn?... An annoyed Team Canada talks with Pam Paulshock…Elix Skipper wants a rematch against Mike Sanders, but Lance Storm cuts him off and takes the upcoming title shot for himself… Dopey Dave and a companion in a suit are in the building… Leia Meow leads the Jung Dragons to the ring…They’re sacrificial lambs for Scott Steiner (w/Midajah)…Bummer, man…I am reminded that this plan of Midajah's does make sense by Tony S. because Leia and Midajah are randomly feuding…He does this in between trying to keep Stevie from attacking Scotty…Steiner kills these guys off…The Dragons bumping around for Scotty is entertaining, but I wish they had better for these fellas…This was entertaining enough, though…Leia goes after Midajah and chokes her out with a riding crop while Steiner double Recliners Kaz and Noble…Steiner’s too busy posing to save his freak, which does make me chuckle… The Thrillers bring Konnan in to see Sanders, and they do the same fucking work visa thing they did with Juvi last year…I mean, except for the fact that Konnan is an American citizen…They get some dumbass border cops who won’t let Konnan leave the room unless he shows some papers…Konnan is like, I am an American citizen, stupid, and also I’m going to Australia, so I have my passport with me in the locker room…The cops are like, Well, unless you can teleport that passport into this room, you can’t show it to us because you’re a flight risk…I’m sorry, what?...Did Konnan do crimes?...Because otherwise, how is he a flight risk?...Never mind, this angle is stupid and I hate it… Rey Misterio Jr. interviews with Pam Paulshock and sends Tygress to get Konnan’s passport and bring it to the immigration cops…Rey and Juvi talk about match three in their five-match series that is about to be terminated…Shane Douglas attacks them and then craps on Konnan before accepting Sting’s challenge…Shane Douglas winning every segment, match, and feud he’s a part of is a low-key reign of terror…He’s like a midcard version of 2002 HHH… Stevie Ray gets up from the desk for an impromptu debut of a segment called SUCKAS GOTSTA KNOW…He walks over with a house mic and attempts to interview Lex Luger on Luger’s intentions…Poor Stevie…He says there are "five thousand viewers" out there wanting to know Luger’s deal…Poor, poor Tony S….He compounds the error by saying, “Five thousand viewers in one house; there are three million viewers (overall)”…Anyway, Luger says that Russo’s turfed him, basically…Luger says that he’s backing himself and not anyone else…Stevie asks him about why he attacked General Rection… Speaking of Rection’s sorry ass, he walks through the crowd to hear this response…Luger basically says that Rection Hugh Morrus is a “fine grappler,” corrects himself on the name, and then appropriately makes fun of Rection’s current name…Luger basically is like, This dude Rection is okay, but come on, compared to me, he sucks and shouldn’t be in a tag team with a star like myself…Rection attacks Luger from behind…Luger tries to escape to the back, but security doesn’t let him back there since he’s not an active member of the roster and guides him away from the ramp…Stevie says that what he learned from his interrogation is that with the front row seats that Luger is getting every show, Luger must be close buds with Zane Bresloff… Konnan has finally been let out of the room…He catches up with the injured Animals and shoves the roving cameraperson away before formulating a plan to get Shane back… Mike Awesome coaxes a nattily attired Crowbar out of his locker room…Stevie yells THAT’S FRED SANFORD, but I feel like Crowbar would need to be wearing suspenders before I could see any resemblance… Hype video: Goldberg and his (first) streak…Can he do it again?...Spoiler alert: No…No, he cannot… Pam Paulshock asks KroniK about the deal they cut with Mike Sanders…Clark says they’re stealing the Acolytes Protection Agency’s gimmick…Adams makes a bunch of marijuana puns… Mike Sanders (w/Thrillers) defends his newly-won Cruiserweight Championship against Lance Storm (w/Team Canada)…Storm says that Skipper got ripped off on Monday, but he’ll be the one to beat that “inept American” Sanders tonight…They need to fill time because they play all of “O Canada,” and on cue, Tony S. says, “We’re gonna play the whole anthem? Must be short or something”…Well, don’t point it out, Tony!...Lance Storm is defending the Canadian Championship against Rection in a handicap match at Havoc, by the way…Duggan will be joining Storm in that match…Havoc is such a Russo card…OK, I guess we’ll have to get past Havoc to fully flush the system of the rest of this Russo nonsense… The match in the ring is decent, but it’s too short to have much impact…Someone is insistently raising a wildly antisemitic sign in the crowd, so that’s also going on…The Thrillers and Canada mix it up in the finish…Storm traps Sanders in a Canadian Maple Leaf…Gunns prematurely rings the bell to confuse Storm…Storm chases Gunns up the aisle, but Rection and the M.I.A. walk down the ramp…Rection tosses Storm back in the ring, where Sanders catches him in a flash pinfall for three… A nefarious plot is afoot…Shane Douglas and Jeff Jarrett whisper to one another in a secluded backstage area… Mike Tenay interviews the Misfits in Action…General Rection is wearing one of his old ugly Hugh Morrus shirts…Tenay calls the guy "Bill DeMott," and Rection corrects him…Ah, I believe caley mentioned this in an earlier post, but they try to make me give a shit about Rection bashing his brains out every night for no reaction…BLAH BLAH LUV DA BIZNESS…BLAH BLAH LEAVE IT ALL IN THE RING…This is an awful interview because William Hugh Morrus DeMott-Rection III stinks…Now Chavo’s out here talking about gimmicks and shit…This interview bummed me out too much to transcribe too much more of it…Chavo is confidently incorrect when he says that the M.I.A got over, but he shouldn’t have told us to “look at the ratings” because that might have spurred someone to actually do it and find out that he was wrong… LeRoux does his deal where he’s LEARNING FROM THE VETS and he DOESN’T CARE WHAT THE INTERNET SAYS and [THE MISFITS ARE] THE WORKHORSES OF WCW…This segment actually made me dislike Rection more than I already did…When Storm loses the U.S. Championship to him, it’s going into a dark vortex until Booker can get it back at the very end…Rection says some more RAH RAH bullshit before speaking on Duggan backstabbing him and ruining the relationships between their families... Tenay asked Morrus earlier about whether or not he’s fulfilled his potential, so Rection keeps rhetorically asking IS THAT POTENTIAL?! in a repeat of the question, but it never makes any sense in context when he repeats it…For example, when asked about how it feels for Duggan to backstab him, he responds with something like DUGGAN MADE MY KIDS CRY AND MY KNEES EXPLODE; IS THAT POTENTIAL?!...See, he doesn't get how to ask an effective rhetorical question, and I know, because he asks that same question like four times, and it never makes sense as a response in context...He whines about Lance Storm getting title shots upon his arrival into WCW while he’s toiled in the midcard of WCW for so long, so very fucking long…This sucked and I hate everyone in this group except Chavo (who rules) and THE WALL, BROTHER (who didn’t speak during this interview and thus garnered a lot of goodwill with me)…It’s Dirt Worst material, actually… Stevie Ray thinks that Crowbar is reminiscent Huggy Bear…Tony S. thinks he's reminiscent of Rollo (!!!)…Speaking of, I would much rather have watched two hours of Sanford and Son reruns than this show…Hell, I would have watched two hours of Sanford reruns...Cal looks kinda like One Man Gang, you know?...Crowbar quotes an annoying Steve Martin sketch character…This pre-match deal with Crowbar and Mike Awesome was not funny, and I hated it, but I dig these fellas in general…They’re wrestling Jindrak and O’Haire for the tag titles even though they’ve never teamed together in their WCW careers… The match starts and things go from annoying to pretty enjoyable…Crowbar fighting from underneath against these rookies is solid stuff…Crowbar and Awesome do a little shtick, but it’s whatever…They’re good enough workers to get away with it…At one point, Awesome and O’Haire just slap each other in the chest for a full minute…I mean, if this wrestling show is going to suck, at least it can give me two big dudes slapping the shit out of each other sometimes… Actually, this O’Haire/Awesome segment has me interested in a twelve-plus minute match between these two…Crowbar runs himself into trouble and eats a springboard lariat on a blind tag…He’s FIP, of course…Stevie argues that the rookies are too enamored with doing cool moves to position their opponent properly and cut the ring in half…Crowbar fights up and gets two on a Northern Lights with a bridge on Jindrak…O’Haire kicks Crowbar when Crowbar goes up top…A Frankensteiner/Seanton Bomb combo gets two…Crowbar gets a hot tag to Awesome shortly after…Awesome scores a couple of two counts… Crowbar grabs a table and hands it to Awesome, who sets it up in the corner…O’Haire saves Jindrak from an Awesome Bomb through the table…The rookies prepare to send Awesome through the table, but Crowbar saves him with a couple of low blows…Awesome flips Crowbar onto the rookies outside the ring…Crowbar gets back in the ring and gets a two count that O’Haire is just a bit late to breaking up…The rookies hip toss Crowbar through the table and get three…This was a solid TV bout…In fact, I think it’s good enough to put on a playlist… Here's Buff Bagwell, that homewrecker…Buff held up a fan’s sign that said BUFF SHOWED STACY HIS STUFF, so I guess he’s admitting it?...Wait, he’s trying to dodge responsibility for the monetary care of this child, so he says that he wrapped that shit up…I think Stacy Keibler-Hancock is not beneath poking a hole in a condom, honestly…Did you bring the condom to the back of that car or did she?...Wait, even more than that, I think Buff Bagwell is not beneath “accidentally” having the condom come off and then continuing to have sex anyway…Yeah, I’m going to go with that as the likeliest scenario…Here’s Dopey Dave with his doctor…Buff is like, So what if I’m on tape; are you going to believe actual video evidence that I had sex with Stacy?...Uh…Yes?...Yes, we all would?...Dave wants Buff to take a DNA test, and Buff bops the doctor with his mic to get out of it… Klondike Bill passed away…Give him the ring bell salute, you dopes at WCW!...Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson hit the ring for this main event match pitting Douglas against Sting…I’m checked out…Just finish this fucking show and fuck off to Australia already…Stop letting these two low-talent idiots talk before every match…Actually, Torrie is a no-talent idiot…I was too nice to her there… Tenay announces Booker T./Scott Steiner for the big gold belt at Havoc as Sting and Shane Douglas have an obligabrawl…They fight back through the crowd…A security guard is a casualty of this boring wandering brawl…After a flurry of Sting chair shots, the match gets back into the ring…Torrie yanks on Sting’s leg, and while he shoves her away, he sells a hyperextended knee from doing so…We get a SHE’S A CRACKWHORE *clap clap clapclapclap* chant while Douglas controls with mediocre offense and I stare into space and dissociate from all this ludicrously dumb television…Look, here’s the finish…In a reversal of what happened back on Nitro Show #211, Konnan walks out and kidnaps Torrie…Jarrett sneaks up and KABONGs Sting, who stumbles forward into a Franchiser for three…The show ends before Douglas can realize that his equally crappy half has been spirited away… This show was awful, but I had so much fun piecing together how and why Kidman would still be stalking Buff with the KidCam that I don’t even mind that much…OWWWWWWWWWW, THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DESERVES AN APOLOGY FROM WCW FOR THIS SHOW…

I don't know if this fits with Zimbra's vision, and maybe this is just because I recently listened to the newest episode of If Books Could Kill, but I think this character should smash opponents over the head with a hardback copy of You Are a Badass.

I mean this 100% sincerely when I say that I wish you were in the AEW writer's room.

I was thumbing through a paperback copy of the UK published Hitman bio, which I bought a) as a novelty because it's a UK publishing and therefore has way too many "u"s in it and b) so I can keep my hardback version in better shape by not opening it anymore. Anyway, once I got to the part where Bret and the Nastys visit Dynamite in the UK during a tour, I decided to pause there and finally read Pure Dynamite. It's a short read, but what I noticed the most is how much Dynamite elides exactly why his relationship with Michelle fell apart. I'll at least credit Bret for owning up to being a relationship-long cheater, even though he softens his actions through rationalization. The second thing I noticed was that Dyno was considerably more detailed about his time in Japan than in the UK, Canada, or the United States, which sort of bummed me out. I would have loved more about his wrestling experience in the UK other than about how much it sucked to work Big Daddy or Haystacks. Jim Breaks got like one mention. I would have loved to read his thoughts on some of the other workers around that time. Basically, he listed off who he thought sucked to work with and gave some praise to Rollerball Rocco. I thought that two hundred-ish pages wasn't enough for his career and would have loved another hundred pages of book, at the very least. As an aside, I think I'd put the Dynamite/Tiger Mask Sayama matches in the same group with Blitzkrieg as things that were obviously well-beloved in their time that have been aped so much, watching them in real time not only dampens their positive effect but also makes their flaws more apparent. (As a second aside, I also quickly read Diana Hart's Under the Mat, which was a heartbreaking work of staggering genius a prime example of how toxic people are deluded enough not to realize their own toxicity when they're feeling particularly self-righteous.)

I'd say through 1998. Somehow, this dork fit into the nWo Wolfpac nicely, and they were insanely over the whole year. It can't be expressed enough how poor his booking was in the WWF. I love the Narcissist gimmick, but it's such a WWF gimmick and very limited. Meanwhile, the Lex Express run was so at odds with what gets Luger over. What gets Luger over as a babyface is racking dudes, especially big ones, and fighting back against the odds. Luger in the WWF as a babyface had to do all this "All-American" nonsense that undercut the core of what makes him good. I mentioned this earlier in this thread, maybe, but he's also got excellent comedic timing and facial expressions. As he breaks down physically in 1999 and into 2000, he's still puts in a creditable showing in promos and skits just by being a funny cowardly heel. Anyway, Luger is massively underrated at this point and does, in fact, rule. Your post is only a hot take to the unwashed and uneducated masses, dammit!

Brilliant. Bonus points if we update the "Bulldogs bringing Matilda to the ring" deal and have Deeb (or whomever) bringing a Pomeranian to the ring in a dog sling. If you're reading this, Coach TK, put this gimmick on air and I'll be glad to tune in just to see how it goes.

Show #260 – 2 October 2000 "The one where Vince Russo gets the rest of his shit in before leaving, including another Goldberg streak angle and a match with four items on four poles because he just can't help himself" It’s October of 2000 – under a half-year to go for WCW. Recap: Vince Russo booked himself as the world champ. Yep. It’s the intro: BRAMP BRUMP adrenaline BRAMP BRUMP adrenaline. Actually, the breathy “Adrenaline” singer might have been replaced by a dude yelling in this version of the opening theme. I occasionally let out a BRAMP BRUMP when the opener plays at this point and will often think to myself, “Hey, I’ve got time to BRAMP BRUMP” when I think about writing a review. Funny, considering how bad this Nitro theme is. Konnan, in cow-patterned dress (we’re in the Cow Palace tonight) and holding the disco goose, comes to the ring with Rey Misterio and Tygress. Juvi is already in Australia, I guess, looking for PCP-laced joints to smoke. Konnan does his tired DISCO, U FUCK THIS DUCK, ORALE nonsense and they hang the duck in the air for a ladder match. Well, at least this episode mathematically can’t be the worst episode of Nitro ever. I have that going for me. Honestly, Alex Wright and Disco wrestling Konnan and Rey in a ladder match isn’t the worst way to open a show. Disco and Alex Wright doing some decent double-team spots with the ladder, dancing, and then getting beaten up is some decent television. Rey rides the ladder onto Wright; then, he hits a Bronco Buster before going up and hitting a chair-assisted legdrop onto the ladder, which is sandwiching Wright and placed on top of Disco. Rey just goes off at this point, landing a double nutcracker guillotine legdrop and then lightly hitting a rolling senton bomb off Disco, who is trapped by Konnan, before smoothly continuing along and diving onto Wright outside the ring. Disco manages to Chartbust his way out of a Konnan facebuster attempt, but Rey catches him halfway up the ladder and hits him with a sunset flip powerbomb, then ranas Wright away from Konnan as Konnan climbs the ladder and grabs the goose. That match was laid out in a way that amplifies that Rey is a star and probably should be much better positioned on this show! After the match, the Boogie Knights jump the Animals and take their goose back, which sorta negates the whole point of having a ladder match, but whatever. David Flair pulls up to the show and drags a hooded and cuffed person out of the back who he thinks is the baby’s daddy. Hmm… Vince Russo reads a statement on the TurnerTron, Jeremy Borash flanking him, in which he basically says that he proved his point about becoming champion, but he’s not an athlete and shouldn’t be in the ring, so he’s relinquishing the world title. Borash does the uncomfortable shoulder massage thing that Buster Bluth does, and Russo tells him to knock it off. Russo declares a title match between Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett to crown a new champion for later tonight and then pops off on Goldberg. Russo forgets himself, actually, and all that stuff he just said about not being a wrestler or an athlete, because he opines that he could kick Goldberg’s ass. This brings Goldberg to the ring. He makes a tortured YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT insult in the most oblique way possible, and then Russo says that he’s got plans for Goldberg and that he will be out there to inform him of them post-haste. In a half-decent gag, Russo comes out in a makeshift Popemobile driven by Borash. Goldberg smashes up the security dudes around the car. They have a dumb mic battle that sucks. I mean, holy shit, it sucks. Anyway, before Russo gets sent home, he sets up one more incredibly stupid angle that gets “paid off” at a random PPV by Totally Buff: Russo says that Goldberg’s got to bet his initial streak and go 177-0 (I guess 176-0 was where we kayfabe ended up on his initial streak) to get a title shot ever again, but if he loses even once before getting to his hundred-and-seventy-seventh win, he’s fired. Goldberg kicks the window of the truck and scares Borash away, but Meng – opponent number one in the nu-Streak for Goldberg - jumps Goldberg from behind and Tongan Death Grips him. The idea for this nu-Streak angle, by the way, isn’t bad in general, but in the context of a) fluffed original streak numbers making the streak a bit less meaningless and b) no consistency in WCW's creative leadership, which because of the constant creative upheavals makes it nigh impossible to book a well-planned long-term angle, it’s a terrible idea. Russo fires Meng up for battle in the back; then, he puts Mike Sanders in charge, which I guess means that the Cat isn’t at the building. Though Russo gives Sanders a glowing assessment, he tells Borash to keep watch on Sanders when the Thriller happily and confidently leaves the room. Chuck Zito’s confused ass joins commentary for some reason. SGT. A-WALL and Reno compete in the finals of the hardcore title tournament. Smash. Trash. The BEST BUY SUCKS sign in the crowd isn’t entirely wrong, but there’s one nearby and it’s nice to get physical video games or necessary cables. Plus, my current TV and current all-in-one that these reviews are mostly written on are both from Best Buy, bought at competitive prices. Reno gets in Zito’s face, but is hit in the back with a stick by Vito when he gets back in the ring. A-WALL chokeslams Reno through the table for three; Mike Sanders suddenly decides that there are "no interference" rules in hardcore matches and reverses the decision. Reno is the champ. OK, sure. Pam Paulshock lets us know that the Cat has ruled Booker T. to be the actual champion after last Monday and declares that Booker T. vs. Sting will be tonight’s world title match. Is this where we get that San Francisco Gold Miner match or whatever the hell it was called? I think we’re getting a cameo photo of Scott Hall that might be his last ever “appearance” on Nitro tonight. I vaguely remember that match and also the belt falling out of the box and Penzer having to grab it and give it to Booker. Hmm, the guy that Dopey Dave has handcuffed looks familiar… Well, it’s been a nice week’s worth of shows with no Shane Douglas or Torrie Wilson, but alas. Guess what? This guy cuts a terrible promo in which he challenges Konnan (and I guess Tygress?) to a match at Havoc. Then, he further challenges Mike Awesome to a match tonight. Oh God, now he gives the mic to Torrie. TAKE IT BACK. I guess Shane Douglas just wanted to remind me that it could always get worse than him cutting a shitty promo. OK, here’s Mike Awesome. Douglas jumps him at the bell as the desk talks about this new Goldberg Streak angle. I find it baffling that this stupid company never put the world title on Goldberg again after he lost it to Kevin Nash. This is staggering, right? Torrie flashes Awesome to stop an impending Awesome Bomb. Douglas lands a Franchiser for three. Tygress comes to the ring after the match and attacks Torrie. Douglas attempts to hit Tygress with a Franchiser, but Konnan makes the save. Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner harangue Mike Sanders to go fix things with the Cat. Scotty threatens Sanders physically, but Coach Nash walks up and backs up his young charge Sanders. Borash surreptitiously takes notes in the background while this all happens. After the commercials, Nash coaches Sanders up and sends him into the Cat’s office. Borash is unfortunately (for him) locked out. Hype video: For Meng, and is this the same one that they played in 1999 or a different one? If you look closely, you can see quite a few released former WCW stars all up in the videos. Whoa, this is amazing: Pam Paulshock interviews Meng about his big chance that he’s getting against Goldberg. Meng puffs up his chest a bit, opens his mouth, and here’s what comes out: “Pam, downsizing and cutback is part of business. Now, they bring me here to wrestle Goldberg. I have no choice; this is my last chance. In order for me to stay with WCW, in order for me to keep my career, [I must] destroy Goldberg. This is my life. Goldberg, you must die so I may live.” And those last few lines, he delivered with genuine emotion. I LOVED IT, PUT IT ON A GOOD LIST. Sanders steps out of the Cat’s office, where he tells Nash and the Thrillers that he’s negotiated an agreement with the Cat. He doesn’t, however, say what exactly that agreement is and distracts everyone from the details by convincing them to go watch Goldberg/Meng and see whose career is cooked. Meng’s career is cooked. Goldberg easily lands a spear and Jackhammer in about thirty seconds. Well, if by “cooked,” I mean “becomes hardcore champ and then gets a nice paycheck to take the belt up north.” KroniK must be about to start their Acolytes Protection Agency phase because they jump Goldberg after the bell, probably for some weed money. It’s funny: KroniK is over as babyfaces, so the crowd is legitimately bummed. Jarrett and Steiner confront Sanders, who says that he negotiated Jarrett/Booker vs. Steiner/Sting for later tonight, with the winning team getting the title shot against one another at the end of the show. Sanders argues that this guarantees that at least one of them will be in the title match. Ah, I was wondering how we got to Jarrett versus Booker and Penzer picking the belt up off the ground. Dopey Dave tortures his hooded prisoner by heating the room, offering him water, and then dumping a bucket of water on him. What is this, Abu Ghraib? Our mix-‘n-match tag bout is up next: Jeff Jarrett and Booker T. wrestle Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) and Sting. Wait, I need to do an update: WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 23 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett > DDP > Arquette > Jarrett > Ric Flair > Jarrett > Nash > Flair > Jarrett > Hulk Hogan > Jarrett > Booker > Nash > Booker > Russo > VACANT) I think, actually, we might be finally slowing down on title changes. In fact, we might be down to our last three in the company’s history (I don’t count anything that happened during the Invasion angle in my headcanon, but if you do, then they are the last three in the Nitro Era). I think we go back to Booker for about six or seven weeks, then on to Scott Steiner about eighteen months later than optimal before Booker wins the thing back on the last Nitro. I will again note that the U.S Championship has been booked the best all year, and even then, it’s a title in which the guys who lost it have still not lost it directly to an opponent and have instead vacated it or had it stripped from them. I don’t think we’ll get a proper "contender is put over by the former champ" title change this year unless and until Lance Storm loses to General Rection. I also think I know that title’s movement for the rest of the era (Rection > Rick Steiner > Booker), but we’ll see if there are any twists along the way. Scotty talks about his physical prowess before Sting gets out here. When Sting does make it to the ring, he outsmarts Jarrett while running the ropes, lands a fist on a Jarrett duck down, and continues rolling Jarrett after that. He scores a facebuster and a Stinger Splash, but Jarrett pokes Sting’s eye when the Stinger tries a Scorpion Death Drop, and a double clothesline sends both men scrambling to their corner for a tag. Steiner, who is still wearing a mask to protect the orbital bone that Goldberg broke with a forearm shot, jaws at Booker and the fans for a good minute or so before finally locking up with Booker. Steiner works Book back into the corner and unleashes with strikes, but he makes the mistake of running the ropes and runs himself right into a Booker roundhouse kick. We get another tag and our first Sting/Booker encounter in the match. Booker works a headlock and is more over in San Francisco than he’s been anywhere else in the past month or two. They have an awkward exchange on rope run, but Sting gets a hip toss in. Steiner spits at Booker when Booker resets himself, but the distraction doesn’t throw Booker off too much, who scores a couple of punches, a back elbow, and a lariat. Book shoots Sting in; Sting reverses, and Steiner pulls the rope down so that Book tumbles to ringside. Sting follows, but not before punching Steiner; Jarrett jumps in and stomps Steiner while Sting initiates an obligabrawl with Sting. Steiner handles Jarrett and then Booker when Booker is able to get back to the ring. Booker eats an elbowdrop and an overhead release suplex; Steiner tries to isolate Booker and keep him away from a tag. Heck, Steiner even scouted Booker’s leapover in the corner and catches him; he hits one Oklahoma Stampede, but Book wriggles away from a second and lands a lariat and a spinebuster. Booker tags to Jarrett, who opens up on Steiner with rights, but runs himself into a boot in the corner and is quickly belly-to-belly suplexed. Steiner looks for a full nelson, but Jarrett back kicks Steiner in the nuts; Steiner topples over and tags Sting. You know who loves obligabrawls tonight? Sting loves obligabrawls tonight. He starts another one with Jarrett; Steiner comes over and clubs both guys, then gets in the ring and exchanges offense with Booker T. Book comes out ahead and scores an axe kick and a Spinaroonie, but Steiner hides behind the ref when Book launches a Houston Side Kick; Booker takes them both out. With the ref out, Jarrett grabs his KABONGin’ guitar. Booker looks up from where he’s at, trying to revive the ref, and sees Jarrett about to swing on Sting. Book stops him, but Jarrett shakes Booker off and swings at him; Booker ducks and Sting eats the guitar. Steiner blindly tackles Booker, who can’t do anything but lay there and watch Jarrett cover Sting for three. This was a decent match, but the crowd was a bit dampened because it’s hard to cheer with a babyface hits a hot tag to a heel! Promo: Halloween Havoc is gonna get weird with it. Elix Skipper comes out to “O Canada,” and though longtime readers will know my love for the Canadian national anthem, they will know that I love knockoff “Party Up” even more, so yeah, that’s what I’m playing right now. They’re going to let Elix talk, bless his squeaky-voiced heart. He’s upset about how Mike Sanders played him on Thunder and that unnecessary “Elix, nice to see you” comment from Kevin Nash to Beetlejuice. He demands that Sanders bring Nash with him so that he can give them both quite the beating. So, yeah, we’re getting a title change in a few minutes, aren’t we? Nash and Sanders are unperturbed; Sanders bars Team Canada from ringside, says that you have to powerbomb your opponent to win, and finally that this is now a handicap match. Nash bops Skipper in the head when Sanders has the ref check Skip’s shoes. Skip quickly makes a comeback when Sanders tries to powerbomb him, but he forgets about the whole “has to powerbomb his opponent” deal, and Nash clubs Elix on a rope run. While Lex Luger watches from the stands, Nash tags himself in and lectures everyone on how these damn kids are out here doing top rope moves even though no one does top rope moves in a bar fi--*gets missile dropkicked by Elix*. Elix actually beats up both guys for a bit before Nash is able to swing on him from behind. Nash does some more riffing, this time on the still-pretty-strong (at the time) Canadian dollar, then Jackknifes Elix so that Sanders can pin him for the title. WCW World Cruiserweight Championship title change count: 11 (Madusa > Oklahoma > VACANT > TAFKAPI > VACANT > Candido > Daffney and Crowbar > Daffney > Chavo Guerrero Jr. > Lance Storm > Elix Skipper > Mike Sanders)… Boy, Team Canada was not a very big or effective stable, which I don’t think I remembered before this watch-through! Terry Taylor catches Goldberg as Goldberg makes his way to the parking lot and lets the big guy know that Mike Sanders booked him in another match tonight. Coach Nash leaves his Thrillers to take a quick shower, and the rest of Team Canada runs up and attacks all seven Thrillers, and effectively, too! Goldberg peels off his motorcycle jacket on his way to the ring to kill off the worthless Harris Bros. He pins Ra/oD with a spear and Da/oR with a Jackhammer, so he’s 3-0 instead of 2-0 somehow. Oh, because Goldberg's streak numbers should never be taken seriously, that's how. Sanders yells into the shower room, hoping to get some ideas about booking the main event title match from Nash. Dopey Dave Flair walks his captive toward the ring. Mike Sanders sends a note to Tony S. via David Penzer that decrees the title match a 49ers Match. The 49ers suck ass, which I guess means they have a lot in common with WCW right now. There are four boxes on poles; one holds the big gold belt and the other three hold items that can be used as weapons. So many poles! Russo is such a dolt. It took Dopey Dave the time that was filled with Tony S.’s announcement and a repeat of the Havoc promo to walk his captive out here from the backstage area. Dave swats his captive’s hooded head while yelling YOU RUINED MY LIFE. San Francisco is very bored by this. They’ve been bored by everything that isn’t Goldberg, Booker, or Sting. Anyway, Dopey Dave uncuffs the guy, who yanks off his own hood and turns out to be Buff Bagwell. Wait, Buff scored with one of the ladies backstage for once? Buff hits Dave with a Blockbuster and walks away. Huh, so it wasn’t Ric. Well, that’s a pleasant surprise. Also, does that mean that Kidman was recording Buff striking out all those times considering that he was explicitly identified by M.I. Smooth as the guy who taped Buff nailing Stacy? I almost want to go back to the reviews earlier this year and remind myself of all those KidCam segments. I do remember that Kidman and Torrie acted as though the camera was stolen from them, but Kidman could totally have concealed it from Torrie and lied to her that it was stolen. I shouldn’t desperately want this angle to link up logically with a seemingly dropped angle from months ago, but I desperately want this angle to link up logically with a seemingly dropped angle from months ago. It's time for our San Francisco 49ers Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. I don’t know – how is four boxes on four poles a 49ers Match? When Bill Watts had Jim Neidhart and Butch Reed put on actual football helmets and charge one another, now that would be reasonably called a 49ers Match. Well, no, actually, it’d more reasonably be called a Saints Match. I guess the idea is that you’re panning for gold by opening boxes instead of slowly sifting through a bunch of sediment, but no, this is dumb. Anyway, I want that Booker T. shirt that Book’s got on. That’s a pretty dope wrestling shirt. I like my wrestling shirts minimalistic, generally. Jarrett jumps Booker while Booker hands his t-shirt to a nice old lady plant in the audience. This match gets very wonky very quickly, starting when Jarrett gets shot into the corner and a box falls onto the floor. Jarrett just says FUCK IT, smashes it open, and finds, um, a blow-up doll for sexual congress, *sigh*. Booker takes over, gets the second box, and shows the crowd a picture of Scott Hall. Actually, the look on his face when he pulls it from the box and then shows it to the crowd is pretty funny. Booker cracks the picture over Jarrett’s head, which wakes the crowd up a bit. He goes for the third box, but Jarrett jumps him and hits him with plundah. Jarrett controls an obligabrawl until he tries a piledriver on the commentary table and is reversed and stuck with a piledriver by Booker instead. Booker opens up the third box and some joker wanted to reference SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL because there’s a coal miner’s glove in there. Jarrett has recovered at this point and trips Booker, then posts his crotch and rips away the coal miner’s glove. Jarrett puts it on and loads up a punch that scores. He decides that he likes to smash Booker with shit more than he likes climbing for the fourth and final box for whatever reason, and though he actually lands a box shot to Booker’s dome, he’s too lackadaisical about just getting up there and grabbing the belt. Booker stops him on his climb, and not even another gloved punch and a sleeper can put Booker down for long enough to allow Jarrett to reclaim the big gold belt. Oddly, Slick Johnson does the raised arm count in the middle of a match where the only way to win is to get possession of the belt. Madden points this out, and Hudson fails to logically cover for the error. Jarrett is boring the shit out of me in this control segment; please just let Booker come back and get the belt already. Jarrett goes up for a diving gloved punch and leaps right into a Book End. Booker is caught while climbing for the final box, but he escapes a Stroke attempt and lands an axe kick, a Houston Side Kick and a Spinaroonie. Book goes back up for the final box, but Jarrett crawls over and lands a low blow. Poor old Jarrett crawls outside and tries to slide a KABONGer from under the ring, but it’s stuck. He has to hit Booker with an electric chair drop and then go back out after the guitar, which is still fucking stuck, and Jarrett is faintly annoyed that he can’t do his fucking spot with this fucking guitar that is wedged into something else under the ring. Madden points out that Jarrett should just go get the belt, which, yeah, but you really should stop pointing out logical flaws in the match, stupid. Anyway, Booker wins the belt when Beetlejuice runs out and punches Jarrett in the balls. I suppose that Beetlejuice was supposed to give a return KABONG to Jarrett, but he hits an apron splash, so it’s okay. Booker gets the fourth box, which breaks immediately upon him grabbing it. Penzer picks up the belt and hands it to him, but he has no time to celebrate because Scott Steiner attacks him with a pipe and then puts Beetlejuice in a Steiner Recliner immediately after the match. WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 24 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett > DDP > Arquette > Jarrett > Ric Flair > Jarrett > Nash > Flair > Jarrett > Hulk Hogan > Jarrett > Booker > Nash > Booker > Russo > VACANT > Booker) This Nitro was less bad than last week’s worst Nitro ever, so that’s good! On to Australia! -3 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I do love reading posts from that generation of young adults who are in their 20s and talk about Cena the way a lot of fans from my era talk about Bret Hart. Like, he's the obvious GOAT and it's silly to argue that anyone else is even close.

Which I am fine with as obviously pop culture was only good a) when I was between the ages of 3 and 25 and b) when it was pop culture introduced to me by my parents that they liked when they were between the ages of 3 and 25. Literally every other aspect of pop culture ever sucked and is bad and is without merit and is not true art unlike the stuff I liked. Captain N: The Game Master is basically on par with Raphael's Cartoons. This is science.

I think doing it with the U.S. title was a bad choice when they had a bunch of hot midcarders who needed the thing. The TV title was right there instead of having Rick Steiner hold onto it and have shitty TV matches twice a week. They also didn't follow through strongly on Ric Flair as the delusional WCW president, which weakened the overall angle (and basically abruptly terminated it when Flair lost the presidency back to WCW via Sting). Finally, I'm not sure they did enough to really tie Ric giving David a title and protecting him back to David turning on Ric a few months earlier. If Ric made it more clear that this was his way of pulling David away from Hogan's orbit and entrenching his power at the same time, it would have worked better. If they run with Flair as the delusional president as the ten- or twelve-month storyline arc that it should have been instead of downcycling it and killing it off in the summer, then it works a lot better.