DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 5132014A- MORE SHINYA ISHIKAWA/ KOHEI SATO! STIFF!

[DEAN]

DRIVERETTE 5142014

 

 

Here yins go!  BEHOLD,  THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!

 

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!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING- CASH CRASH vs MR EXOTIC EROTIC- 2/1/2014:  Every day, I go to my Youtube subscriptions and send anything I want to watch to my Watch Later list- which I try to whittle down every day.  This is preposterous, of course, because it builds up way faster than I could ever watch or even listlessly scan past.  BUT!  I slog away at it-  watching immediately the things I dig; burying deeper the stuff I have no real interest in.   A lot of indie stuff on Youtube is just endless promos I do not watch for upcoming shows that I will not be close enough to see.  Actually, unless it is in the general Chesterfield, VA area, it's too far away, at this point.  Meanwhile,  your German promotions will usually stick a match on these things just so you can figure out if they are running a slick operation or more of a glorified backyarder thing.  NEW is quite the slick operation and Alex Wright is the owner/trainer to the some of the German Stars!   This match has been sitting in the pile for a few months, so I opt NOW to see if these two guys a worth a crap!  YESSSS!  I have not seen the unfortunately named Cash Crash(1), nor the good-lookin' Mr Exotic Erotic(2) and as the Cagematch.de states- neither are actually Alex Wright trainees- so the deep insight I was going to share into the fact that both work pretty stiff because there was a point when the Cruiserweights in WCW stopped concentrating so much on trying to keep up with Rey Misterio Jr and opted to try to keep up with Regal and Finlay- will be lost to the ages.  It was a grand time in WCW- personnally apexing with we all went up to Fairfax to see wrestling at the Partiot Center and Alex Wright and Chris Jericho laid it in like MOTHERFUCKERS.  It was awesome.  And it has nothing to do with this match we find out after a little research but I wanted to get in- as that was the first thing I thought of when I decided not to delete this match.  Both of these guys are tiny!  The totally misnamed Mr Exotic Erotic- in that he is just kind of a in shape fella and doesn't actually wear fuzzy boas, doesn't wear overly tiny pants and doesn't kiss his opponent to transition to offense, all makes me not think he is that exotic.  And erotic is such a nebulous word:  Hell, if you've been married long enough, your partner not turning on the light in the morning to get ready for work is erotic.  You say to yourself, "Wow!  My partner didn't have to do that.  How thoughtful! I'm gonna hook her/him up tonight for that."  I'm guessing these guys work each other a lot between shifts at the chocolate factory, or ski lodge, or whatever one does in Switzerland (Celtic Frost Fan Club president, perhaps?), because they work really smoothly together.  Or maybe they are just pretty good.  Mr E E hits a SWEET Owen Hart sideways tope thingy.  Crash responds with really good-lookin'  Front Chancery Snap Suplex after doing a really cool Bashing of Mr EE's Forehead Into The Second Turnbuckle After Applying The CRAVATE~!- all this after doing the totally underrated Stomping Of The Foot to escape a headlock.  I dig this guy.  He does lots of little things that vary from good to really good looking, plus he has really good punches.  Let's here it for the Old School Southern Styel Wrestling Tendencies of the Swiss.   He hits another nice suplex- so his big moves look nice-  but he also subtley gets the crowd to hate him and get them behind Mr EE's little comebacks- you know, wrestling psychology-  before cutting him off and beating some more heat onto him.  God, this little wrestles like a fat guy- as evidence by his totally sweet kneedrop across the throat.  NEW is awesome because they do a slow-motion rerun of Crash's Running knee To Face.  The crowd comes alive to MR EE's comeback- which is based on winning an exchange of forearms- which aren't BattlARTS but aren't bad.  Then he flips flops and flies and hits a German and I am impressed by both of these guys.  Nice Eiploider by Crash before Mr EE gets the flashpin with the last ditch superkick and that was a quality WCW Main Event match- FULL WORLD WIDE POINT.  Keep an eye out for these two- especially Cash Crash.  And he also needs a less stupider name.

    

 

~~~~~~~~~~BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING- SHINOBU/ SHINYA ISHIKAWA vs KOHEI SATO/ SHUJI ISHIKAWA- 2/3/2014:  God, how did a Sato/Ishikawa match hide for so long?  You ALREADY have to feel for the scrawny wormy Shinobu(3), as he is waaaaay too little to take the beating he most assuredly will be taking.  Shinya Ishikawa I dig.  He's lanky and doesn't wither and run from a KoheiSato forearm exchange- JEBUS FUCKING CHRIST- your forearm of the year is at 3:08.   Shinobu tags in after Shinya Ishikawa tags so... so much for common sense.  He does trick Shuji into flying through the ropes to the floor so I'm guessing he is Shinya's son-in-law or something- because he is allowing Shinobu to live.  The funner story is Shinya Ishikawa and Kohei Sato beating the jumping holy fudge out of each other as they meander through the crowd. Actually, it's probably more fun to watch Shuji Ishikawa knock down an entire section of chairs by throwing a wee flailing Shinobu through them.  Shuji is all professional and whatnot by selling Shinobu's forearms, but I think it was just to make him feel better about what is about to happen to him- as Shuji tags in Kohei Sato who just comes in and fucking pummels him with kicks to the back.  Holy shit!  Shuji Ishikawa tags back in and spares him some assbeating by doing a half-assed submission- probably so Shinobu's lungs can fall back into place.  Shuji does the dick move of tagging Kohei Sato back in.  Sato continues to slaughterize the little guy- hitting a amazingly back-crunchy backbreaker.  Then they hit the Double Suplex for two as they attempt to go ahead and crush the little fella- because Shinobu is feeling the FIGHTING SPIRIT! The crowd gets into his comical attempts to not die as he fights out of the Shuji ishikawa Pildriver attempt into a backdrop and makes the hot tag!   The crowd is excited because Shinya Ishikawa is in the ring on fire! and stuff-  but also forgets that Shinya Ishikawa gets to be a house-afire while trading elbows to the face with fucking Shuji Ishikawa.  And it is grotesquely stiff as you imagined it would be- but Shinya Ishikawa does do a good Robert Gibson when Sato comes in to double team, even making with the dropkick on Sato.  His house a-fre babyface comeback culminates with him hitting a Northern Lights Suplex With A Bridge on Shuji Ishikawa.  Shuji Ishikawa is awesome by once again cutting off the babyface comeback via Lou Thesz Press.  You party and freak out.  Shinya Ishikawa gets to enjoy a thorough assbeating after Shuji Ishikawa tags in Kohei Sato.  They trade shots to the head and Kohei hits his Overhand Falcon Arrow(4)  but Shinya escapes and tags in Shinobu- which seems kinda mean by this point.   Shinobu hits a missile dropkick on Sato- which I'm thinking equates to 1/700th of the PREPOSTEROUSLY nasty Nodawa that Kohei Sato answers with.  Shuji and Sato double team on Shinobu with just the most hellish knees to the stomach you will ever see.  Shinobu sells it by flying several feet into the air.  Sato goes for the pin but Shinya Ishikawa makes the- I hate to call it a "save".  Shinobu is now nothing FIGHTING SPIRIT!- which is pretty cool, but he has been legit beaten to a pulp.  It's about the best story you can get out of this kind of mismatch:  How much of a horrendous ass-beating can the weakest member of the two team take before succumbing?  Answer: Jesus Christ, A LOT.  He trades forearms with Shuji Ishikawa and get the crowd molten by hitting two desperation but really stiff lariats, letting Shinya hit the missile dropkick to set up the Shinobu Quebrada for a super molten nearfall.  Sato then runs in  and cuts of Shinobu's comeback, Shuji clubs the hell out of Shinya and they Double Suplex Shinobu off the top.  Shinobu is this close to dead as the crowd chants his name.  Shuji tries to put an end to the massacre with the giant chokeslam but Shinya makes the save.  Shinobu starts trading elbows again but Shuji Ishikawa just fucking kills Shinobu with a Released Dragon Suplex and an actual Shing Wizard where he jst fucking buries his knee directly into Shinobu's face.  Shinobu kicks out but he is nothing but Fighting Spirit now.  Shuji hits the Niagra Driver and that is all.  What a fucking ass-beating.  What a fucking beautiful story.  One billion stars.  Watch as Shinobu is beaten into your heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbVP4RwLSAc

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ENDNOTES

1. Per http://www.cagematch.de , Cash Crash is 5'10 and 176 pounds.  They do not list his age, so I'm guessing 17.  Hey! He's Swiss.  There you go. 

2.  Per http://www.cagematch.de , Mr Exotic Erotic is 5'11 and 172 pounds.  They do not list his age, so I'm guessing 17.  Hey! He's Swiss.  How about that.

3. Per http://www.cagematch.de ,  Shibobu is THIRTY-THREE years old!  He is 5'8", 172 pounds.  

4. Number 15 of the New Era. 

 

TOMORROW:  Uhhh STUFF! FAT! STIFF!

[Curt McGirt]

I could have swore there was a match between Shinobu and MASADA that ended in Shinobu being a pile of pulp, but didn't find it. In lieu of that, I found this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IfX2aFOXjY

 

and this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC0WtPSiZIk

 

to whet your whistle. 

[bucky]

Shinobu hasn't been in many deathmatches. I definitely don't remember him being opposite MASADA in any setting. This is the best deathmatch I've seen him in. This is also one of the only times I've seen Okabayashi in a deathmatch setting. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8tF4kaIAio

[Curt McGirt]

Hmmm, dunno, it would have to be something 2010 or before when I would d/l pretty much any and all BJW. Maybe I am hallucinating.