Sex Machine Gun

What an underwhelming followup to Mania. They couldn't even give me SLAPJACK~

I'm starting to wonder which one of you is Tony Khan. I know it isn't me. ("That's exactly what he'd say!")

Boy am I glad someone else is pushing back against the "sell tickets for Mania" narrative. Also, whoever thinks there was a legit 100k in Dallas in 2016 is out of their mind.

Via Wrestlinginc: I'm more curious to see what the people who lost are doing next. Does Drew keep scrapping with Lashley? Is anyone expected to be called up soon? Does THE MAN return to challenge (and ultimately put over) Rhea Ripley? Will Riddle develop an edge? This came up in the Discord during Wrestlemania's second night: does WWE try to mimic the post-Mania Raw crowd through artificial noise? Highly doubtful I think, denying us the true WM weekend experience until 2022.

I'll be very disappointed if Maffew doesn't dub some martial arts "whoosh, whoosh" movement sounds over that. It may have seemed like I was being too hard on Tamina in the Discord but last night was the first time I'd personally heard a crowd react to her in any substantial way. Quite the shock considering they'd just sat through Fiend shit. Speaking of Fiend shit, I'm actually... curious to see what happens next since it was heavily implied that he was under Bliss's control. Is this the payoff for calling her "the goddess" for years?

I've decided to call middle age Edge's wide-eyed and angry face the Aggro Crag.

Looking at the radar a half hour out I'm not optimistic about the night being free of weather-based interruptions. Damn. Just let them do Orton/Fiend before the rain so it can be over and done with.

I was about to say how excited I was for KO/Sami, Asuka/Ripley and the triple threat, even more eager to see those than I was for anything on Night One... ... and then I remembered that Orton/Fiend is happening.

As of about 1:30pm here on the East Coast the forecast for Tampa expects the rain to be over with an hour or two to spare. Thank goodness. I ended up missing the first match last night by doing other stuff during the delay I expected to be an hour but was more like forty five minutes. Night One gave me what I expected, which was a perfectly okay show. Weird booking at times like AJ being a Heel in Peril during his tag match but it was necessary to cover for Omos in that case. I think Bad Bunny got all that ring time because most of his preparation was when it was going to be a singles match against Miz. Speaking of Mr. Bunny, fuckin' get in there! Very impressed, dude's a real fan and clearly wanted to be as good as possible with only a couple of months of prep.

Just checked the weather for Tampa and... well, looks like we'll finally see how one of these modern stadium shows are done in the rain.

How the fuck do they do it? Ask me a few days ago and I'm not excited for the show but today I'm totally jacked. Every year, the same story. I don't care until I wake up the day of the event. Now I'm staring down the clock and wondering why this hasn't started yet, dammit.

People gonna be in the Discord or what? I don't have the link anymore but would love to be part of a show chat~

It's Christmas morning for wrestling fans! Finally, people! Bomb-ass set! Pyro in the sky! The product might not be very good tonight but the presentation will be superb. No way Vince doesn't want this show to be a big "you must have forgotten who the fuck we are."

Their time in AEW is really all I've ever seen of their work and this quirk has convinced me that Nick must be terrible as a talker, even worse than Matt apparently which is impressive. Whoever shouted for a full arena cheering Hangman when he gets the strap, you're my kinda guy, guy. I never watch BTE or anyone's vlogs or Dark/Elevation so my views are shaped purely by the TV product. They have made me a fan of lots of wrestlers I'm sure Indy fans knew about but I'd never seen so they're capable of good shit. Hangman, Darby, some of the women (Britt, Shida, Rosa), and (somehow, someway) Orange Cassidy are all people I look forward to seeing each week who I couldn't name in the fall of 2019. The pieces are there but keep getting jammed together in ways that don't fit, and always in fits and spurts. As redundant and goofy each week may be I'm still always anticipating Dynamite all day Wednesday. They must be doing something right because I haven't really been this excited for a weekly wrestling show since 2001-2. I point out dumb stuff but that's because wrestling is like, at least 75% dumb stuff in AEW's case but that remaining 25% is what keeps us all coming back. Shit, in WWE it's 95% dumb stuff. But then you take that 5% and cut it in half because you KNOW that's overestimating and you've got a 2.5% of good WWE shit at SACRIFICE... ...why the fuck isn't Scott Steiner in AEW somehow? I demand a weekly promo segment on Dynamite where he slaps the Recliner on whatever geek tries to interrupt him. Oh, and talking mad shit the entire time of course.

Jeeeeeezus I forgot about this. I thought it was goofy as fuck, even more so than the time Jericho and MJF had their limos pull up to each other nose-to-nose. This happens every week: I generally feel favorable towards Dynamite but as I recall details it starts to fall apart. For example, why didn't they just start the Bunny/Conti match when they first scrapped? Sting had a promo faceoff with Roberts/Archer, then goes away just to walk back out five minutes later with Darby. It's jarring and again you wonder why they couldn't merge things, maybe give JD a real entrance before going to break.

You can even work it to where you have a quick Khan interview where he says he doesn't pay people to show up only to not be able to do what he's paying for. Or make it a "it denies the fans the full experience" if you want to make fining wrestlers a babyface gesture.

Not the best look when Jericho has a big comeback promo heavily mocking someone's spray tan just an hour earlier. This company would be helped immensely if they'd just coordinate shit.

"Thso I was meeting the Jaguars coath in the thadium next door and heard a fight goin' on!" This week's show could well have set a record for fewest words said in promos before being interrupted. I think Christian was the only one who got out a full sentence!

They never said why Tyson was there in the first place (that I heard) and crammed a month of Pinnacle/Inner Circle storyline progress into one show again. I got what I expected out of the show overall but also wasn't expecting anything sensational. Why didn't anyone ever ask "where's Cody?"

I got weirdly emotional when I saw that. It's really happening. A year late, but we're getting it.

I think this is the first time where I know what everything is going to be on the show tonight. Not the details but just about every segment has to be spoken for now that there's going to be a Taz recruitment angle and Tyson's return (and why now??).

I see the sound alterations being more annoying for me. They've gotten months of practice in a stadium under their belt.

We're taking more about Puerto Rican sovereignty than the Wrestlemania card. Holy jumpin' fucking shit.

So who's gonna tell the author of the story in the first post that Puerto Rico isn't its own country?

They'd better make sure the second night is fire because I expect the first night to squander all the goodwill the live crowd was willing to display. The hardcores will go back to their lodging after night one, read about how flawed shit was, reexamine their reactions, and then hijack the second night.