Fuzzy Dunlop

Football is the greatest sport in the world and when it's good, it's fucking GREAT but when it's bad with the feigning injury, diving, crowding the ref, rolling around like you've had a limb amputated (all Neymar), it's a fucking embarrassment. But there will never be anything more dramatic on a sporting occasion than penalties in a knockout match in the World Cup. I am neither Croatian nor Russian and yet I was evacuating my bowels watching that. In saying that, I happen to be quarter Croatian on my granny's side considering who they're playing in the semis. And if England win, I'm a quarter French or Belgian. I forget, did England win today?

It's never not worth repeating how much Ronaldo was the Man, the pinnacle of batshit insane power and speed. I imagine centre halves had the same response when he was running at them that WCW job guys had when they were booked to face Big Van Vader. I'm rambling and I forget what my point is other than fuck Neymar.

Neymar can roll his way all the fucking way back home. Buh-bye, you absolute detestable little turd bucket. I forget, did England win the other night?

That one's difficult for me, I want to marry Godin and I want to marry Mbappe but then I also want to marry the entire 2018 World Cup.

It's nice that Neymar's cuntishness has now united us all in support of Belgium.

Football is crazy. Last kick of the match? Crazy, crazy, crazy. I am in love with this World Cup, I'm planning to propose to it.

No, seriously, fucking FLUMMOXED.

This World Cup is fucking bonkers. It has me flummoxed and I've never used the word flummoxed before but I'm so flummoxed I'm going to use the word flummoxed.

Wait, how is Neymar still playing after that career threatening injury? He's an inspiration!

As embarrassing as that was, my favourite running joke of this World Cup is Ally McCoist's History of Russian Cities. It's nearly as funny as when Batshuayi twatted himself in the face with the ball.

I'm so glad Neymar didn't die after Layun slightly stepped on his ankle. Fucking hell. An embarrassment.

He's legit the greatest 50 year old player there's ever been. But, man, he's in that list with the likes of Scholes, Pirlo et al as my favourite type of player, where everything goes through them and they control the entire tempo of the match. Regardless of what happened at this World Cup, Iniesta is an all time great; a genius of a player.

Buried in the World Cup news is the international retirement of Iniesta. One of football's good guys and an absolute genius of a footballer.

I mentioned the 1st series of Get Shorty in the June thread, I finished it over the weekend; it is really, really fucking good. It's one of those shows where you're depressed when the series finishes. Highly recommended.

One of Russia, Croatia, Sweden, Switzerland, Colombia or ugh fucking England will be in the World Cup motherfucking final. This World Cup, man. This fucking World Cup.

Weird fucking arrogance from the English last few days...'Colombia? Piece of piss. Winner of Sweden/Switzerland? Bigger piece of piss. Then we're in the semis and then we're in the final.' I mean, fucking hell, hold on a second, you have to fucking beat Colombia first. I'm being completely petty of course but, man, I hope Colombia fuck their shit up. I've enjoyed the everliving fuck out of this World Cup by the way.

I mean, he hasn't bit anyone yet at least. It's been four years since he last bit someone so that's...something...I guess? Godin is my dude though. Proper defender. Right on cue, another noted shithead, Pepe scores.

Not a bad match that, was it? Mbappe wasn't even born when France won the World Cup. I'm so old.

You'd have sworn France and Denmark were happy to play out a draw... That was brutal.

I'm glad Iran are out if only so my other half can now stop gawping at half their team. Damned bearded dreamboats!

I'm 5 episodes into the Get Shorty series and, man, it's really fucking good (and not just because of the serious amount of man love I have for Chris O'Dowd), I haven't read the book or seen the Travolta film so have no idea how it compares but, yeah, definately recommended viewing.

So, ah, yeah, you know, Taylor Swift, right? I may have mentioned her before but on one (deluxe) album she had Blank Space, Style, Out of the Woods, All You Had To Do Was Stay, Shake it Off, Wildest Dreams, This Love and Wonderland on one album..how is she not good?!? My wife allows me Taylor Swift (like I have a shot). It's creepy and sad so sue me.

I am, of course, being completely facetious, it just remains kinda funny looking when you have 8 dudes in full ref gear in a room hundreds of miles from the stadium watching 89 screens like they're trying to land a pod on Jupiter. And I'm 100% in support of VAR.

VAR all up in this like a motherfucker (anyone asked why they have to dress in full ref kit while stuck in a room watching 87 screens? What are they, the ref's equivalent of John Terry in the European Cup final?), I have Spain in the sweepstake in work so I'm pleased they're playing Russia and not Uruguay but they still won't win the whole thing because this Spain isn't SPAIN.

Yeah, man, echoing previous posts, Big Van F'n Vader's tribute video should be just 3 minutes of 7 year old kids crying and scared out of their minds as he beat the fuck out of Sting. As a monster heel, it's his greatest legacy. Seriously, I vividly remember being in school and arguing how the fuck Sting was supposed to beat this guy (in those words too, 'how the fuck?' I was a crude 7 year old). Sting was badass and he hit him with the Stinger Splash AND a steel chair and Vader shook it off like it was nothing. I'm scared for Sting now and it's 26 years since it happened.