AxB

Teams that have won their Conference Championship by 17+ points are 1-6 in the Superbowl. Thank you Mike Carlson.

Is Cam Newton crying? It looked like he was crying. Eli didn't look pleased about that touchdown, did he?

So, have you Americans now got to look forward to nine months of "Cam Newton is just a front-runner, he can't win from behind" talking points? Because in England, the next thing we hear about this sport is going to be the opening day of the 2016-17 season.

And it's over.

MVP = Wade Phillips.

So much for that drive. We all thought it would be the Panthers defence beating up Peyton, but it's Cam who's getting slammed like a Shotgun jobber.

See what happens when you throw on first down?

After all the talk of which Quarterback would win, and the only touchdowns (so far) in the game are a run and a fumble recovery. Peyton isn't winning this game, Cam is losing it.

What's Carolina's average yardage on first down? Like, One yard? EDIT: OK, minus One yard.

I managed to download Bulletstorm during that. I think I'd have preferred watching the progress bar.

Apparently when Slash was medically dead for wight minutes, Axl saw a crow fly away and thought it had Slash's soul in it. So he wouldn't be nice to him for years, because it wasn't Slash. Then Axl did an interview about how his stepdad used to rape him, right before Slash did a record with Michael Jackson.

Beyonce wore heels on purpose, to make Bruno look short.

Choreography - the song!

See, Coldplay've realised they can't actually keep up with Bruno Mars, so they've buggered off.

See a year ago, I realised for the first time that Katy Perry didn't actually have any good songs. But that won't happen this year, because I already knew Coldplay didn't have any good songs. Who the fuck actually buys this shit?

Don't even pretend you aren't miming, lads.

I wonder which halftime show Coldplay thought was shit. Katy Perry? Madonna? Them MTV ones with Kid Rock and that?

Chris Martin: "We've watched all of the halftime shows and they were all f- most of them were fantastic".

A guy called Norwood making a special teams play in the Superbowl? Well I never!

Nice jumping Hip Attack to the face on the TD. Shiro Koshinaka would be proud.

Making one. First taunting penalty of the game was on the Broncos? I bet you could have got pretty good odds on that happening.

Martin O'Neill thinks he caught it. But Roy Keane didn't want to be on telly.

You're watching adverts. I'm watching Chappers, Mike Carlson, Jason Bell and Osi Unemyiora analyse the action. Osi is hysterical, by the way. He'll be all over the US media in a year or two, his showreel from the BBC2 Highlights show will make him irresistible to American media.

The sequel to Trainspotting's coming out next year, you know. They haven't decided if it'll have the same title as the book though.

Is that Bulletstorm game any good? And if not, is it worth it for the tiny price? Might get ME2 while it's cheap, even though I own the disc. Cerberus pack not available on second hand.