Cobra Commander

To be fair, that FSU/Louisville game last night was a pretty brutal viewing experience.

Watching some more Florida on YouTube and it looks like JJ Dillon’s mustache was pretty much gone by the time that Jimmy Garvin turned heel by signing with JJ. Which was Garvin going from being a bland babyface Jim Garvin to being somebody important. Also the sequence might have been inspired by baseball free agency as there were multiple references to Reggie Jackson signing with the Angels (or as Gordon put it, Reggie Jackson signed with the Dodgers) So here’s another moment in the adventures of JJ Dillon in Florida:

Nick Saban being the first team out in back to back years feels like the ingredients for a lot of drama. Alabama will take that as a sign to never schedule anybody with a pulse in non-con ever again. but yeah, FSU getting the QB who led them to a 24-15 victory over Florida probably means that their first round game will be a little less tedious, depending on who you have faith in between Florida State and a Pac-12 team

I'm guessing Michigan at 1, Washington at 2, then it depends on what sort of games they wanna play with matchups. Michigan/Florida State at this point is pretty likely to involve Michigan smothering Florida State to death with a pillow because Michigan has a strong defense and Florida State has an uninspiring offense lately. It wouldn't shock me at all if Washington ends up losing to the 3 seed. So, Michigan vs Alabama and Texas vs Washington and an Alabama/Texas NCG.

also it's a better plan to jump Shawn Michaels than Lex Luger, no "group of marines" ever tried to take on Lex Luger and his stainless steel forearm

Also note the novel concept of "we only had 10 minutes to give you for this match (presumably because of how packed the rest of the show is and how they only have an hour)" becoming a point of contention. As opposed to now where things just magically work themselves out with giving everybody enough time. Although if you did something where a match was advertised for Dynamite but due to other events, it was "bumped" to Rampage "due to time".. I don't know if you could have some wrestler vent frustration on TV (in a non-shoot way) about his matches being messed with due to other people's chaos. Or considering how at least half the matches go through a commercial break, a wrestler who gets mad at other wrestlers for having matches that go too long. They'd just tweet about it instead. Or it'd be someone that fans don't care enough about to want to see in action. So. Just got the foreign object idea of someone responding to being squeezed off due to lack of time walking out with a Flava Flav clock "to keep track of time", only for them to hit opponents with that clock if they're really desperate to win a match. It's not as good of an idea as my idea that blatantly rips off the Mirror dude from Morris Day and the Time.

Not sure which two wrestlers were the last two in because they were sorta false advertising Arn and Sid up until the day of the PPV despite the stabbing/suspensions. Guessing that Keith Cole or Charlie Norris was on the threshold of being left off the PPV and that someone had to be stabbed to get Rip Rogers on a PPV in 1993. I guess if you’re gonna have TV that was taped 6+ weeks before airing, Battlebowl was their best hope of not spoiling future storylines with their advanced taping schedule.

Guessing it’s a better idea to give Ric Flair/Steve Austin vs Scorpio/Maxx Payne nearly 15 minutes than Rick Rude/Shanghai Pierce vs Tex Slazenger/Marcus Bagwell?

Random note: fortunately Vince Russo wasn’t so cultured that he knew of the “name Cockburn is pronounced Coburn” thing so that some WWF wrestler in 1998 would have to keep telling people his name isn’t pronounced Peter Cockburn but Peter Coburn. edit: that would be the name of a porn star who is a mortal enemy of Val Venis

Kevin Patrick is his first/middle name so they didn’t have to make up last name for him at least

*checks Wikipedia* yeah Kevin Patrick is from Dublin kudos to the complete maniacs maintaining a week by week list of commentators on WWE TV shows. So that people remember which week had Michael Cole and Ernest Miller commentating during the Ernest Miller WWE run which was mostly him working Velocity with way too much detail of what he did between the Royal Rumble (January 25th, 2004) and being released by the company (February 10th, 2004)

it's possible that Central States didn't make enough money to just have a manager who didn't wrestle in 1981 (I know the stories Cornette had about potentially going to KC from Memphis if not for Mid-South mentioned a preference for managers who could wrestle too) looking at WrestlingData and he had only just returned to Florida for the first time in years late in 1981, so this early JJ look is the look of a manager who steals money from his wrestlers to buy cigarettes.. looking at an April 1982 Florida episode, JJ still has a mustache, but he has dyed his hair lighter and he switched from a collared shirt/tie to a bowtie/jacket.. so somebody's making more money!

update from December 1981 Florida: JJ Dillon looking like he talks to the customers so that the engineers don't have to. I thought JJ was slumming it a tad in JCP before he dropped all his randos and went in with the Horsemen. But it's possible that JJ has like a 5 year progression where he went from looking like a dumpy office worker who steals from his employer to looking like a corrupt elected official. In other words, that mustache.. I'm hoping that was merely a short-term thing.

IWA Puerto Rico is still going, because wrestling promotions never go away unless they want to, so IWA Mid-South vs IWA Puerto Rico!

one more Florida thing.. for anybody unsure of the path ladder matches took from Stampede to the WWF.. Florida was advertising a ladder match between Butch Reed and Big John Studd with $10K suspended above the ring (you see, Big John Studd did the bodyslam challenge gimmick everywhere and after Reed slammed him, Studd stole the money from Reed's friend Sweet Brown Sugar) Big John Studd cutting a promo about not being made to go up ladders is a real "yeah no kidding" revelation.

two random notes from watching parts of a 1982 Championship Wrestling from Florida episode last night 1) having Magnum TA and Jake Roberts on screen at the same time is certainly putting two dudes with similar facial stylings on screen at the same time 2) not entirely sure if Jake putting Barry Windham through a wooden ringside barrier with a running kneelift can be exactly reproduced these days. Both because of a difference in what's around ringside and it being awhile since kneelifts were used as a finish (but if they could get the Shining Wizard over, then it's not impossible to get a million dollar kneelift over) the kneelift in question is at the end of this video, witness the glory of Barry Windham when he had metabolism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUYpHnQBAVE

maybe sports reporters/interviewers are more like independent contractors than wrestlers

I swear this shouldn't sound weird but I saw one random ROH episode, pandemic era on Bally's (IIRC), and that's why I ended up following Quinn McKay/Kelly Kincaid on Instagram a few years ago. Then she ends up in the WWE, so clearly someone else watched a random ROH episode 3 years ago. Instagram is great if you want photos of celebrities looking good in the sunlight. I saw Jackie Redmond for the first time on Monday (which how often I'm watching RAW, means she's been on WWE TV for like 6 months) and I was surprised that she went directly from TNT/WBD Sport to the WWE while.. you know.. But this being WBD, maybe her contract came up or she got laid off or there are more backstage interview jobs available in the WWE universe than AEW or whathaveyou But if WWE ends up bumping AEW off of WBD... clearly it's because of Jackie Redmond (since I think we're supposed to blame the nearest woman in some situations no matter how much it's a BS scapegoat)

As for CM Punk. Watching the Kevin Sullivan return to Florida where he tries to shrug off accusations that “he’s changed” with “I’ve made mistakes, the past is the past” makes me think that approach could work here https://youtu.be/_e1BPPzuhvg of course Sullivan would go from “I’m gonna be your friend” to turning hard heel quickly.

Cody’s not beating Roman at WM. Sami Zayn has combined with Braun Strowman like Krang and Krang’s body from Ninja Turtles. Super Sami beats Roman.

I’ve already said multiple times that Ric Flair is wearing designs ripped off of an old person’s couch

Unless there’s a Terminator at work, total coincidence that back to back William & Mary Chancellors died in a 3 day span (Kissinger 2000-2005, Sandra Day O’Connor 2005-2012) Thatcher was the W&M chancellor before Kissinger. So that college went on a run of chancellors Feels like we’re on a “various older people dying as a result of the first cold snap of the winter” run lately

Wavishing Wick Wardlow

Time for some.. Mid-South Wrestling (11/26/1983) Krusher Darsow thinks Nikolai will defeat JYD when they wrestle. Nikolai beats a jobber (Joshua Stroud) with a good physique who doesn't seem to know what to do out there. Darsow is scouting Nikolai because he wants to learn from him. Nikolai Volkoff as a serious threat is a bit of a trip compared to most of his WWF run. Jim Neidhart actually looks like more of a maniac with a full beard and he beats a jobber (Tony Torres) who looks a bit shaky at times. JYD goes for a few minutes with Tonga, who is from Tonga. Tonga would be The Barbarian, who was working as Tonga John from Samoa in World Class around this time. Tonga headbutts JYD and both sell it because this is 80s wrestling involving an Islander and a Black guy. Barbarian and JYD weren't on the same wave-length at times so we're 3 for 3 in enhancement matches where guys weren't exactly smoothly working. Boyd Pierce putting the work in to talk about the confidence of Jim Cornette and the Midnight Express in their debut vs Rick Rood and Mike Jackson. I'm sure i've typed this but does Mike Jackson look like David Crockett or what. Express win with a double team as Dennis lifts up Mike Jackson and Bobby hits him with an elbow off the 2nd turnbuckle. Dr. Death looks puffy compared to what he would be later. His opponent Frank Levert is also a big boy. Bill Watts loves to shoutout the important people that he spends time with. Doc hates Russians and one of them forfeited instead of facing him. Doc wins with the Stampede, which is one of the moves he can do well in 1983. Wrestling 2 is in a Fred Rogers-esque outfit today next to Magnum TA and Lanny Poffo. Wrestling 2 notes that Lanny Poffo comes from a bad family and that he doesn't want TA in tag team action. Meanwhile in the TA/Poffo vs Doug Vines/Karl Fergie match, Bill Watts flat out saying that Randy Savage is in the Poffo family. Magnum and Randy Savage would tag with each other at the Omni for Thanksgiving 1983. Of course, Bill Dundee coming in to book Mid-South would quickly end the idea of Lanny or Randy working in Mid-South. Randy Savage in 1984 Mid-South is one of those what-ifs, although his Memphis run was pretty good too. Ted DiBiase is sending a warning to Jim Duggan from the set of Georgia/World Championship Wrestling that he's coming back (in like 9 months, IIRC) Hacksaw Doogan is taking out Larry Higgins to end the show. Tom Lintz is standing by just in case they have the time for him. They have enough time to talk to Tom Lintz. He's 6'4/275 and he played a little football too. He's losing to Duggan next week. and let's do another week! Mid-South Wrestling (12/3/1983) Krusher Darsow with hair is also a bit trippy since he spent a bunch of time either bald or with facepaint. Darsow at this time looks a little like Bron Breakker. Darsow's also working in jean shorts around this time. Bill Watts blames the Russians for Ken Patera losing at the Olympics because they got him drunk. The Russians have been saying a lot of things about Dr. Death Steve Williams. Nikolai really enjoying using hairpulls to force Dr. Death to the mat. Ref taking a hell of a bump from Dr. Death. Darsow attacks Dr. Death on the outside and puts him in the backbreaker. Not sure that Nikolai came close to making contact on his running stomps. Darsow congratulates Nikolai in face Darsow attacking Dr. Death wasn't enough of a hint for you. Lanny Poffo goes from tagging with Magnum TA last week to tagging with Joshua Stroud this week. Jim Cornette has two different suits for this TV taping. Bill Watts refers to Jimmy Hart as "a man named Hart, not Gary Hart". Joshua Stroud almost falls on his head taking a gutwrench suplex. Stroud takes the same doubleteam move from the first match for the loss. Leaping Lanny Poffo is commentating this Magnum TA/Frank Lavert match instead of Bill Watts. Wrestling 2 is in a chair writing on a yellow legal pad for this one. Lanny says he's making his own name but Wrestling 2 is making that difficult. Yeah if Jim and Brian don't know when Bill Dundee became the booker, I'd guess Dundee isn't quite here yet considering all the Poffo talk. The Missing Link still has a first name as of December 1983. Bill Watts is back so that Boyd doesn't have to talk anymore. Bill comparing Wrestling 2's kneelift to tennis players having specialized skills or knuckleball pitchers. Bill notes that Skandor Akbar has been absent from Mid-South lately because he's busy in World Class with the Von Erichs. Bill noting 2's rubbery way of getting out of moves (why yes, Wrestling 2 used to work as Rubberman Johnny Walker). Link teases the concept of headbutting Mid-South's ringpost of death but doesn't. Wrestling 2 wins with the kneelift after Link misses a move off the top rope. Bill Watts saw a dude from the Hope Arkansas Watermelon Festival while Lanny Poffo was commentating TA/Lavert. Duggan wins with his Spear. Jim Ross talks to Duggan postmatch and Duggan's mad about what Krusher Darsow did. Jim Ross interviews Krusher Darsow because Bill Watts couldn't possibly interview Darsow after what he did to Dr. Death. Darsow says he helped JYD but JYD didn't help him out. He also trained with Nikolai Volkoff and he's sick of seeing Dr. Death in the big matches instead of him. Tonga from Tonga and King Carl Fergie are taking on Mike Jackson and Rick Rood in a true "who in the hell is gonna win this matchup". Two of these guys were stars in 1992 WCW. Jerry Lawler is making an appearance next week. Mike Jackson and Carl Fergie are putting work in together. Bill Watts talking about wrestling luring in warrior-like tribes from the Pacific Islands to the USA. Carl Fergie gets 2 trying to do a Jerry Lawler fistdrop. TV time runs out and this match ends without a winner. This is a promotion in some active transition towards being awesome.

Kissinger being assigned by the US Army to handle administration of German towns in 1945 when he was 22/23 and a private because he spoke German is an oddly fascinating part of the story. He had fled Germany in August 1938. I'm sure someone could do a "would you let a 22 year old run a city that the US Army just entered" for these days, but even then it was a bit of a leap of faith.