Sex Machine Gun

Mercedes has to come out and stare down Willow after she wins the belt, then raise her hand in the ring before a sneak attack. You can't keep her as a face when she's interrupting wholesome promos. That was so dang babyface it wasn't even funny with Willow saying the crowd gives her strength and that someone who looks like her can make it. Then we get a hijacking by someone else and dancing afterward. Whattaheel. Watching the Copeland promo and while the crowd was trying to be attentive and listen it makes this sound more like a speech than a promo. It also becomes clear that it's kinda directionless. When he says he asked for the time and was given it I go "no no no, not on TV at least, do it after the cameras are off!" Sigh. Whoa, where'd his belt come from?! He just said he came out without it and then he's got it when Ospreay enters! The hell?!

I mean, I guess that's nice but I enjoy the feeling of "ohhhhh shit, this is next!" when the next match is displayed during a live broadcast.

He was obviously trying to drag her to see a PowerPoint presentation. (that was him, right?)

To be positive though, because this board is big time AEW country and someone asked: Ospreay's rise is most compelling to me right now. Not the video game matches but his emergence as a personality. No problem with a big crazy match against Danielson because it's on PPV and should be a big deal. Almost like everyone keeps saying "the business" for a reason. I love Joe as champ. Despite Swerve's unbelievable talent in just about every way, I really like Joe being the Juggernaut of AEW. How do you book a guy like that in any other way? Wait, don't answer that if you're from PG WWE ten years ago, he'd be doing dance numbers. The Bucks are a team I fucking hate but right now they *want* me to hate them and I'm okay with that. Their recent turn/gimmick has been enjoyable even if I still find their matches insufferable. Never been a New Japan watcher but Okada's treatment has been pretty good so far. Like, I knew he was a big deal before and it's been appropriately done. More Ferraris please.

I think we need a Buckle Belt. It's reserved exclusively for people who love elaborate belt buckles and wish to test their mettle in the squared circle against people who also love belt buckles. Wait, hol' up, a singles Buckle Belt isn't enough, we need tag team Buckle Belts. Ah fuck, forgot about trios Buckle Belts. All right, wait, hear me out, let's standardize tights with belt loops. See, any time this kind of thing comes up people say "it used to be a big deal" or "you could tell a hierarchy was in place" or whatever. Yeah, because there were like, four tops (not the Motown group) in a promotion then. AEW has EIGHT in total and regularly showcases talent from other promotions who have belts too. I get the idea of promoting "look at this top dog from another place wrestling here, we must be a big deal" especially when you own another company yourself but Christ on a cracker. EDIT: Belt Creep is a problem in pretty much every company anymore but dammit, differentiate yourself a little. EDIT 2: I forgot the FTW belt! Fuck! I even like Hook and forgot about it.

I forgot that even happened. Granted I was in Afghanistan then but still. It was so annoying that Mania was close enough to my hometown that year where I could have plausibly gone to one for the first time but it's probably for the best in retrospect that I didn't. Looks like next year will also be implausible since it's been heavily implied that Minneapolis is next.

"Gas can-like container"

I'm sure, but here's the thing: her theme sounds like someone else's in a different company at the start and then has a forced chant element. The presentation is all off from the moment she walks out. It's late-era Luger in WWF vibes. I WANT her to succeed and be the big deal Saraya never really became but we're several examples in and the postmatch staredowns on Dynamite made Mercedes feel like someone who'd crashed a party and not in a fun way. She shouldn't be the vestigial part of a program but that's how she's presented, just taking up the Jade Cargill aesthetic.

I really wish they'd stop putting Takeshita in positions where he has to lose.

I think you just grew up is all. I've been on wrestling boards for over twenty years and am not the same person I was then. It happens. My main haunt has maybe five percent of the activity it had in 2002 when I found it because we all kinda aged out of flame wars and live commentary threads. Younger people haven't.

32?! Don't give them any ideas!

It's the only way to salvage this but that also means you have two heels in the main event of Mania.

That story keeps on giving.

As far as I'm concerned, Purdy's produced a season and a half (counting playoff games) of showing he's a guy. Yes, his team is absurdly talented around him, it's kind of why they're in the Super Bowl after only injuries thwarted them last year. Dude's going to play well and it'll be a competitive game. Maybe. The Niners have come out flat in two straight playoff games and needed a comeback to win. Both wins were against teams where, in the case of my dear Packers you had the youngest team to ever make the playoffs. I don't think the moment overwhelmed them but a squad as fucking good as the Niners should have throttled us. The Lions had an unbelievable level of pressure on them if you think about it but even then the came out and fucked UP the Niners early on. Problem is, they were also an inexperienced opponent for the level of competition they'd reached. Point is the Niners didn't just stomp these teams into dust like you'd think, at home even! Chiefs come out and punch the Niners in the mouth *and* yambag simultaneously during the first half. The difference now is the Chiefs know how to put away another team and will *excel* at this through the running game. Mahomes/Kelce hook up once but Pacheco will be their second half closer. I like variety, but I see an indisputable Chiefs "team of the decade" dynasty thing happening. It won't be insane like the Patriots, more like the Cowboys without the crashing and burning after their third championship. Dangit though, the Niners are also in the mix for another year at least so I'll go ahead and predict a rematch next year too. (hope next year is Packers/Browns so a team can finally make the championship and also so the Packers will be uber-babyfaces)

Undertaker already won that in Saudi Arabia: https://www.voxcatch.fr/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/undertaker-wwe-ssd.jpg

Can't say it's been boring.

Shit son, they had a DQ in a *Hell In A Cell match* during the Rollins/Fiend thing maybe, what, just over four years ago? Five? That match already pissed everyone off by looking like a Virtua Boy game, then a friggin' disqualification in what the company deemed their Final Boss match gimmick for a feud.

S'far as the rest of the show, glad Jade had a good debut and eliminated Nia single-handedly instead of my idea where she was Diesel and Nia eliminates her later with some fuckery. Bayley as a winner is just fine by me, and it was neat to see Naomi back. The finish of the Paul/KO match was good ol' Southern rasslin'? I think? Felt like it but I'm far from an expert. Missed most of it visually but could hear commentary talking about movez~ so yeah. Hope KO didn't take some insane suicidal bump that I missed because that dude lowkey has a death wish and no one ever mentions it. Last year's Rumble he's having his head slammed backwards onto the corners of the ring steps, and I think him and Roman had a singles match during the Big Dawg Era when he swantoned onto a stack of chairs but with the tops of the backrests up. Yikes. Men's Rumble was... fine? Surprised Cody won a little but it gives me hope they'll do the right thing this year. They WILL, right? ...right? Presentation was awesome, had some of the usual zoomins and cuts but it wasn't awful and THE TIMES being displayed on screen for multiple big names. The opening felt like I was about to watch a sporting event almost instead of rasslin'. I haven't watched a show to this extent since Kevin Dunn left and if this is only the beginning I like it. Make the phony shit look legit, goddammit.

I had this on Peacock on my phone at work and checked out when the 4-way was announced as the next match to save data. Someone I knew from years ago even texted me to ask when the show was. He declared "no way Randy doesn't win it." Couldn't help but have this reaction: https://youtu.be/G9Pq95GVtXg?si=83wWJSSDiKd7kNWf

Haven't seen or heard anyone throw this out despite how long the Rumble's been the next big show, but I think Jade Cargill shows up as a surprise Women's Rumble entrant and gets a Diesel run for a while. Nia eliminates her somehow cheaply but boom, got a big star in time for Mania season.

It's Arizona that didn't observe MLK Day for years, not South Carolina. Gotta stick up for my home state when someone makes us sound even worse than we are.

You know, I've never been compelled to seek out where wrestlers are staying. Only one time after a 2001 WWF house show (first WWF/WCW match ever as the main event was Taker/Kane v.s. DDP/Awesome) did I try and hang around in the lobby of the hotel that was across the parking lot of the arena. I felt dumb and weird after about ten minutes so I left. Still never happened to bump into any wrestlers I knew about already. I imagine it's harder now since the guys aren't mostly all meatslab mountains like back in the day.

I guess it was in relation to Brodie King's beefy body type? I haven't the foggiest since Morishima weighed more than Brodie I thought.

No, you certainly heard that about Garcia.