EVA

I wouldn't even hate Bay so much if it wasn't for the TRANSFORMERS movies. They are that bad. He'd still kinda suck without them, but when he does more human scale stuff like the BAD BOYS movies or PAIN AND GAIN, there are at least some things to like about those movies. I get nothing out of his hideously designed robots having endless, indecipherable fight scenes while obnoxious humans scramble around beneath them. I can't even enjoy them on a "Turn your brain off and enjoy the robots and 'splosions" level because the robots are that atrocious and lifeless-looking and the action is incomprehensible. Fuck those movies. It's 2014. I could close my eyes and wander down the halls of a cineplex, and odds are I'll stumble into a movie with robots and/or explosions. No one should have to settle for this shit anymore.

I was about to get offended.

I've got 100 pages to go. Could easily knock it out on a typical weekend, but my li'l sis is in town for her birthday, so...we'll see if I can pull it off.

He's 5,000 candles in the wind.

USA and Syfy show them on the regular.

I think there's a case to be made that a great many of those people were captivated by a story other than the one it turned out Pizzolatto was telling.

GODDAMN, JACK.

I actually kinda wonder what it was like for you to watch TRUE DETECTIVE months later, outside of the initial run when much of the internet conversation was centered around insane theories about Cthulhu and Elder Gods. Were you aware that was even a thing? Of course, afterwards, I was kinda wishing those people had been right.

My impression on having just finished TD, is that what was great about it was mostly what Cary Fukunaga could salvage out of the mash served up by Nic Pizzolatto. There was so much wrong with the writing that kept getting worse as the show went on. But I still loved watching because of the direction and acting. It was absolute visual poetry. Word-wise? It was soup. ... Fukunaga and McConaughey/Harrelson were just soaring above the material. This was pretty much my take on it throughout the TD thread: Phenomenal directing, phenomenal lead acting...and writing that just got worse and worse as the series went on. I don't want to get too much into it outside the thread, though. FARGO is a lot better.

"The Empty Hearse" is wretched.

TOP OF THE LAKE is from New Zealand. Maybe you could sneak it past her if her ear for accents isn't too sharp.

Worth watching, but I'd probably knock it down the list. The quality varies a substantial amount from triptych to triptych, and even within, as evidenced by the second "season," that had the best single episode of the show, followed by maybe the worst, and then a finale that will depend largely on how you feel about the show's take on Moriarty. Immensely bingable. In fact, after binging the first season and then watching the second season live, I think binging is probably the best way to watch this show. Less time to consider how asinine most of the mythology/conspiracy elements are. WATCH IMMEDIATELY. Much better than the overrated TRUE DETECTIVE. This is a weird show in that I've liked, occassionally loved, every episode I've ever seen, but at the same time, I don't feel particularly compelled to watch EVERY episode, despite it being heavily serialized. I've probably seen 10-12 episodes total of the first two seasons. Might work better as a binge. Watch and report back. Whenever season 2 becomes available, DROP EVERYTHING AND WATCH IMMEDIATELY. Excellent. And pretty short, so it's an easy one ot knock off the list. Don't waste your time.

DEADWOOD will put hair on your chest. The one caveat to binging that show, though, is that you will frequently have to rewind in order to understand all the dialogue.

I think ORPHAN BLACK has finally disappeared up its own ass, which is too bad. The mythology was always the weakest part of the show, and this season, they went into mythology overload, with every episode larded with reveals and twists, to the point that they ceased to mean anything. Topside? Male clones? WHOOPDEEFUCKINGDOO. I'd say just give me more of Maslany acting against herself, but then we might just get more stuff like the transgender clone and the EVERYTHING IS AWESOME AND NOTHING BAD IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN dance party from the finale.

Yeah, I don't think that's true. I mean, there obviously will have to be another villain or two in the mix to merit the combined forces of Batman and Superman, espeically one that Superman can actually punch, but it doesn't really make sense to me for there to be not one but two evil masterminds lurking in the background to set up future villainy. That's a redundancy.

I think WORLD WAR Z might be the quintessential "just a bunch of shit happening" movie. There are THREE credited writers on the screenplay, and apparently none of them bothered to actually write a story. It doesn't even have a beginning of a story. Brad Pitt is running from shit within 5 minutes of the opening credits.

This also serves as yet another reminder that I need to see Johnson's other film, THE BROTHERS BLOOM.

There's some dispute as to if he's directing Episode IX. BUT FUCK YEAH. Johnson is awesome. BRICK and LOOPER are great movies, and his work on BREAKING BAD was stunning. I'm a little surprised that JJ Abrams won't be continuing on with the series, but I think it's a much better idea to open up the sandbox to as many filmmakers as possible and not let it turn into any one person's play thing. I'm endlessly impressed with Disney's choices for directors so far. I know JJ is divisive, and I'm not his biggest fan, but he makes sense for this franchise, being a guy who clearly fashions himself after early Spielberg. But beyond him, I think they're hitting homeruns. This new Star Wars universe is like the anti-Marvel model: Instead of flavorless product managers, they're going after fresh, distinctive cinematic voices. It's very exciting.

Spoiler alert: Tatum plays the husband.

Much like the TERMINATOR franchise, we'd all be better off if the FRIDAY series had stayed in the 20th century.

COLIN HANKS WINS

I assume Weiss & Benioff cut that line so they wouldn't be forced to have Tyrion repeat it over and fucking over next season. "Words are wind" is the meme, but fuck, "wherever whores go," and its variations, are right up there.

Wouldn't surprise me at all if one of the Greyjoy and Martell plots gets bumped to the season after next, or excised completely. One of the major issues Feast had as a narrative was that it took two huge detours into plots that were only tangentially related to what else was going on with the established major characters. I would expect Weiss & Benioff to recognize that and adjust the show's narrative accordingly. Personally, I'm for all that business in Dorne getting dumped because it was mostly boring and the Greyjoys are rad.

I could not be less interested in TYRANT. Looks like an awful bore to me. The lead guy has negative charisma. I think THE STRAIN will be awesome. THE BRIDGE kinda lost me toward the end, but hopefully it'll rebound this season. I'm going to give THE LEFTOVERS a shot, even though there's no way that premise is sustainable or leads to a satisfying conclusion.