SirSmUgly

The Zelda remake that I want the most is a Zelda II remake in a full open world and directed by Hidetaka Miyazaki.

Show #228 – 21 February 2000 “The one in which the most dangerous wrestlers on the roster are *checks notes* Hulk Hogan and the Harris Bros., which should give you a bit of insight into how good this show was” Recap: SuperBrawl X results. That show could have used any of Goldberg, Rey, Scott Steiner, or DDP pretty badly! I know a couple of those guys are injured, but still! Scott Hall got legit injured on that powerbomb at SuperBrawl; that’s it for him in this company, portrait-based cameos aside. What can I say about Hall’s WCW run that hasn’t already been said? I guess there’s only one final thought I have about him: If he wasn’t a raging alcoholic, I think there’s an argument that centering him as the champion could have actually helped WCW survive the competition from the Austin/Rock main event duumvirate over on RAW. He was that over. I mean, I always knew he was over, but these show reviews reveal that he was insanely over almost no matter what. Maybe the ratings for his segments prove me wrong and he was only over in arenas a la Hogan et al., but I think he was actually a TV ratings draw, wasn't he? I’ve come around to believing that even reasonably decent booking formed around a main event core of Goldberg, Hall, Jericho, and Scott Steiner with Page, Hitman, Sting, Benoit, Booker, and Nash floating in and out of the big gold title scene is good enough to keep WCW’s ratings from totally tanking in 1999-2000. I simply don’t buy the argument that WCW was always doomed after the AOL merger; if it kept raking in money hand-over-fist like it did in 1997 and 1998, it would have likely been safe at least in the short-term, and I think a stable core of fresh main eventers and solid booking is enough to keep 1999 and 2000’s revenues (where the company started its cliff dive) nearer to 1998’s revenues. I did wonder, though, as I listened to a couple of pods on WCW’s booking around this time: Were Vinnie Jr. and Paul E. the only two truly good head of creatives available to work for any of the big three in 1999-2000? Who could WCW have possibly hired to right the ship? What I’ve heard about Jimmy Hart’s WCWSN run as booker indicates that maybe he could have done decently enough with the major shows, except for his close friendship with Hogan probably getting in the way of a lot of the things that WCW needed to do with its main event scene. I sort of feel like all roads lead back to Hogan when explaining why WCW went into the tank by late 1998. Jeff Jarrett would not be in that main event core as he just doesn’t have it at that level; he’s here with the Harris Bros. to start the show, vowing to get even for the finish to the SuperBrawl main event. Gene Okerlund starts the show in the ring; he conducts an interview with Mr. All Roads himself, Hulk Hogan. Or he’s supposed to be conducting an interview with Hogan, but The Total Package’s music cuts in. TTP and Liz head to the ring. Luger rocking FUBU jerseys will never not be funny to me. Package blathers on for a while. I’m the best, low body fat, beat you up, shoulda broken your other arm, next time you’re fucked, and he’s cut off by “American Made,” AKA the best you’d be able to pull out of the garbage if you were trying to dumpster dive for “Real American.” Hogan blathers on for a while. Flexy Lexy, y’know something brother, let’s hook it up again tonight, and Package accepts before Hogan blathers on for a while more. Something something Jimmy Hart, something something cage match, something something HE’S GOT THE RED WHITE AND BLUE RUNNIN’ THROUGH HIS VEINS. I mean, “American Made” sucks really badly. Let’s see what else we have on tap for tonight’s show! Ah, we’re getting a Syko Sid Vicious interview. That’s all they’ve planned that they think is worth promoting. Ersatz “Cowboy” plays as Jeff Jarrett (w/Harris Bros. and nWo ladies) hits the ramp to complain about gettin’ SCREWED at SuperBrawl. Jarrett does his low-rent main event heel act; he pulls out a contract for a rematch against Sid that he claims Kevin Nash signed off on. Jarrett promises that the Harris Boys will be all over this show, which explains a little something about why Nitro ratings are in the mid-high twos at this point. Sid arrives; Kidman and Torrie act like an old married couple while looking for the lost KidCam. Madusa checks out the bookings board and finds out that she flew all the way to Sacramento and didn’t even get booked. She rants about this miscarriage of justice and kicks the board before picking it up and smashing it while yelling I *smash* WANT *smash* A *smash* WOMAN’S *smash* DIVISION *smash*. She’s peeved, is what I get from this vignette, and she blames Oklahoma as the cause of her peevishness. Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) wrestles Lash LeRoux, who I am stunned is not the Cruiserweight Champ right now. Then again, maybe putting the gold on a guy doing a Wish.com Chris Jericho act is about as bad as putting the gold on a guy doing a Wish.com version of Dave Chappelle’s Prince act. Anyway, this match goes for about thirty seconds before the Harris Bros. run in and beat the hell out of both these dudes. I’m sure Kidman’s just loving that push he was promised by Bill Busch in return for not bolting for the WWF along with the Radicalz. On another note, I’d suggest that if another edition of RD Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez’s The Death of WCW ever comes out, they find some space on the cover to squeeze a picture of the Harris Bros. in. Whoever stole the KidCam sneaks a shot of Buff Bagwell trying to hook up with Symphony, who is entirely disinterested in a date with him. Buff thinks it’s bad for his image that Symphony turned him down, so he tells her not to tell anyone that she rejected him. Madden: “I can’t believe that Buff took ‘no’ for an answer…” He’s made a fantastic point, but also, Buff is supposed to be a babyface! Is this KidCam thing going to be a discount replica of GTV? Will we actually find out who stole Kidman’s camcorder? Let me guess: The answer is gonna be a resounding YES to the first question and a resounding NO to the second question. Vampiro saunters to the ring for a match with Fit Finlay. As Finlay makes his way to the ring, Tony S. shills the latest edition of WCW Magazine. It has the Hitman/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner nWo on the cover. Guess how many of those guys are on this show tonight? Anyway, this match goes straight to an obligabrawl, but I’m not invested in any of this because I’m watching with an expectation that the Harris Bros. might show up at any point to spoil this thing. Finlay spikes a chair into Vampiro’s throat, which is a cool spot. Tony S. fires off pronouncements and decrees: There will be an official ruling on Jarrett’s rematch claim in an upcoming segment! The Hogan/Package cage match is a Last Man Standing Cage Match! But also, it’s not LMS because you have to escape the cage to win, which is different from the rules of an LMS match where you have to make a ten count when knocked down! Anyway, Finlay beats holy hell out of Vampiro for this whole bout, pretty much, before figuratively slipping on a banana peel and getting rolled up for the loss. Finlay is a sore loser; he clocks Vamp with his cast after the match and spikes the guy with a Tombstone. Vampiro is getting over with the crowds, so why not have Finlay destroy him? Great booking, and I say this as someone who doesn’t like Vampiro and likes Finlay. The Maestro clobbers Buff in the back; their tussle gets broken up, and Buff challenges Maestro to a match for later tonight. Madusa runs up to La Parka and whispers a favor or request or something in his ear; he replies with a “yes, ma’am.” But in Spanish. They brought the Nitro Girls back, but there are only four of them now. Booker T. cuts a promo about losing his legal name or whatever before going out to face Big Vito (w/Johnny the Bull and Disco Inferno). He’s painting by numbers in these promos, and I don’t blame him. Wait, hold on, Disco gets in the ring and says that he’s the one booked against Booker. It doesn’t matter. The point is that Disco offers Booker a handicap tag title shot instead of the originally booked bout. Are we going to job Booker to the fucking Mamalukes? Fuck off, WCW. I’m formally protesting Booker’s booking until July, which means that it’s time for a new category. Here’s the Latest Twist in Booker T.’s Criminally Bad Booking: Booker at least doesn’t job; Disco has to save his guys from a loss by jumping Book as the latter goes up for a missile dropkick. Oh, and then the Harris Bros. rush to the ring and destroy Booker, Disco, and the tag champs. There’s another goddam hour of this show. FUCK. Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes pal around in the back with Okerlund; the Funker keeps insulting Dusty and saying that Dustin is ten times the man of his pops. I’m sure that’s leading somewhere eventually. I assume WCW will bring Dusty back in the next month or two…or maybe not considering that Russo is on his way back to scuttle any of the current booking plans. Anyway, they feel confident in their chances against the Harris Bros. later tonight. In his locker room, Sid cackles maniacally and declares that he’s got a few words for Jeff Jarrett. Harlem Heat Incorporated insists on cutting a promo with Gene Okerlund in the back. Stevie and Biggs should be the only two of that foursome who are allowed to talk, and thankfully, they indeed do all of the talking. Big T. is dressed to the nines. 4x4 is now known as Cassius. At least Stevie declares that HHI is moving on from feuding with Booker. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Oklahoma is not a character that is funny, entertaining, or a draw, but here he is to join commentary before our WCW Cruiserweight Championship match between TAFKAPI (w/Paisley) and La Parka. Look, if Madusa’s fuckery somehow gets us a La Parka Cruiserweight Championship reign, no matter how brief, I am into it. No, wait, never mind, it’s just Madusa in La Parka’s mask and suit. Her La Parka imitation is actually really funny; by the time she hits the Thinker pose, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. This is the first time I’ve been entertained all night. Anyway, Oklahoma gets in the ring before The Artist and La Madusa lock up and rips off La Madusa’s mask. The real Parka comes down and crowns Oklahoma with a chair to the head. He drops the chair and dances; TAFKAPI grabs the chair and brains him when he spins around, then, uh, sorta kinda barely lands that jumping DDT of his for the win. The Paisley Park, that’s what it’s called, I think. He needs to go back to the lab on that one. Flair stands next to TTP and Liz and yells a lot. The acoustics are bad, so it’s hard to hear what he’s yelling. The camera just cuts away in the middle of his rant so that we can watch Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes walk to the ring. Their opponents: The Harris Bros. (w/Jeff Jarrett), who are in the midst of a massive push, apparently? Anyway, Jarrett and the Harrises being all over this show is basically creative suicide, a future-verified TNA-level act being put on television for a major wrestling company. Say what you will about WWF doing everything it could to put an upper-midcard talent like Triple H over, but what they did actually worked. Trips is a complete mirage as an in-ring talent, but the far superior booking made the mirage stick. Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett is utterly exposed here under WCW's garbage booking. If you switched Jarrett and Trips between the companies, but kept everything else around them the same, we’d be talking about how crazy it is that anyone ever thought Hunter Hearst Helmsley Jean-Paul Levesque could be a viable main eventer and Jeff Jarrett would be a top executive in the WWF. I am dead serious in my belief that this is true. Anyway, Funk gets murked for this whole match. He just can’t seem to make a hot tag. Jarrett does some incredibly annoying catchphrase-filled ranting on commentary this whole damn time. A Harris Bro taps out to the spinning toehold, but there’s no ref. Jarrett tries to KABONG Funk, but the ref catches him, and he backs off. Syko Sid paces down the ramp and toward Jarrett, who continues to back off. Jarrett smacks the timekeeper with his guitar; Sid chases him backstage, which we cut away to see. We cut back, and Funk finally tags Dustin in, but Dustin DDT’s Funk. We go back to watching Sid chase Jarrett, the latter of whom gets into a car and drives off. Back to the ring: Dustin destroys the Funker with a chair. Who could possibly even care one bit about any of this? And why is Terry Funk taking chair shots to the dome for angles that no one could possibly even care one bit about? Buff Bagwell, who hasn’t been seen on TV since the DDP and Kimberly nonsense, cuts a quick promo with Okerlund in which he says that the KidCam took his words and actions out of context, and also, he’s going to beat up the Maestro. Rhodes attacks Funk as they load the Funker into an ambulance; then, he jumps in the ambulance and drives off. Gene Okerlund interviews Sid Vicious in the ring. Sid screams a lot, and good for him having this sort of energy even in the midst of all this nonsense booking! Then, he brings his tone down and cracks me up with this line: “See, Jeff Jarrett, I like you, man. You’re smart, you’re witty, you keep me on my toes.” That shit was hilarious. Where did that even come from? Anyway, he says that and follows up by saying that Jarrett might be all those things, but he ain’t the master and/or ruler of the world. They’re on for a title match at Uncensored, is what seems to be the case. Did we ever get the ruling on Jarrett’s supposed contract that Tony S. said we were going to get a few segments ago? Does it even matter? Kidman and Booker are held back from attacking the Harris Bros. backstage. Ric Flair interviews with Okerlund in the back. Flair lauds Dustin’s beatdown of Terry Funk and criticizes Okerlund’s admiration for Hogan. Okerlund is barely able to hold things together as Flair offers his support for Package in the main event. Flair was pretty funny in this little promo, so I get it. Buff Bagwell and the Maestro play DDP for a night and fight over a lady. Symphony just points her charge toward the ring and heads to the back. A couple minutes in, Symphony does come back to ringside, and Buff scores a Vader Bomb, then slides outside to hit on Symphony again. In what can only be described as a TERRIBLY timed spot, the Maestro exits the ring and runs at Buff. Buff dodges while the Maestro is a good three or four yards away, but the Maestro keeps running…and running…and running until he smashes into Symphony. Man, Rocket Ismail at Notre Dame could have been going top speed and still stopped himself before smashing into Symphony. That spot was almost impossibly awful. So, they just hook it up again in the ring as Symphony quickly recovers, when ONE, TWO, ONE TWO THREE HIT ME plays and Ernest Miller strolls to the top of the ramp. He reminds the Maestro that they had a little bet going at SuperBrawl the night before. I don’t think the Cat actually took that bet on the show, but whatever, let’s pretend he explicitly accepted it. Buff hits a distracted Maestro with a Blockbuster for three. The Cat gets on the mic and says that Maestro needs to stay in the ring to avoid more violence toward his already beaten person before playing a new hip-hop-based theme that is now the Maestro’s new theme per their bet. Maestro should trade with Booker, which would probably make them both, if not happy, at least less peeved about their entrance tunes. Anyway, the Maestro locks a Shinonomake on Billy Silverman in a rage as soon as he hears the generic beats of his new theme. Sid rushes away from the arena in a limo; THE WALL, BROTHER paces around the locker room. The Nitro Girls dance in cages and also DJ Ran is still around?! Recap: Jim Duggan found the TV title in the trash and is now the champ in the latest absurd turn for the once great World Television Championship. He randomly (and successfully) defended it against Robert Gibson on WCWSN. Lord Steven Regal makes the next challenge and declares that he’ll retire from WCW if he doesn’t win the title. He says that “you’ll never see [me] again” if he loses, but he will have a little cameo on the last Nitro in the Cleveland-area part of the simulcast, so that’s not entirely true. THE WALL, BROTHER jumps Bam Bam Bigelow as Bigelow walks to the ring and then proceeds to have a vacuum of a match with Bammer. It’s not bad; it’s not good. It just exists as a perfectly okay thing. It will be forgotten about soon after it ends. They do work hard, though. Bam Bam lands a diving headbutt, but TW,B is just too tough and kicks out at two. Bigelow scores a series of two counts, then goes up again, but gets caught, goozled, and chokeslammed for three. I appreciate that they busted their asses even though this match was entirely unmemorable. They did their best. Hulk Hogan looks like a complete asshole as he smashes a fence with his cast-covered arm while snarling and yelling LUGER over and over again. What a dickhead. Ric Flair yells at Dopey Dave and Arn Anderson for being less than supportive of him and his delusions. They look displeased at his verbal abuse. The cage lowers for this main event between The Total Package (w/Liz) and Hulk Hogan. Hogan cuts a terribly shitty promo with Okerlund in the back. That’s enough, good gravy, please stop letting this dude talk. Jimmy Hart’s just trying to get some popcorn in the back when TTP and Ric Flair come across him and kick his ass. After a break, we see that TTP and Flair have brought Hart out here to ringside and are stomping him out. Hogan rushes down and beats up both the heels. Only five more months of this, yeah? Avenging babyface hero Vince Russo is finally going to end Hulkamania. Package uses the chair while Flair is distracting Hogan, and finally they make their way to the ring while security carts Flair and Hart away from ringside. Sacramento is fired up for these two big stars who aren’t translating into TV ratings or buyrates, but who can point to the crowd response here and say that they have to stay on top because the kids aren’t ready. This match hits all the beats you’d expect, and after Hogan’s legdrop, Ric Flair runs back down and gets in the cage, which is doing a poor job of keeping people out of the ring. Hogan no-sells Flair’s offense and fires back with his own. Liz is out here, too, and after Hogan hits a legdrop on Flair, Liz slides the chair to Package. Eventually, after Hogan rolls these guys one-on-two, Package clobbers Hogan with the chair. Flair adds a few belt shots into the bargain. Doug Dellinger gets into the ring, but Package jumps him and Pillmanizes his arm. This truly sucked and had no artistic merit whatsoever. Look, forget Hogan, forget Package, forget Buff vs. Maestro, forget even Jeff Jarrett failing badly as a main event talent. This show tried to get the Harris Bros. over as a force to be reckoned with except for when they needed help from Dustin Rhodes to fend off a fifty-something Terry Funk. Read that previous sentence again. Sit with it for a few seconds. I don’t even have words for how stupid their portrayal on this show was. That alone sends this show right into a level of scoring that doesn’t exist as a real number (unless it actually does exist in some dimension of reality that humanity doesn’t fully understand yet). And don’t even ask me how the rest of this show figures into giving this thing a numerical score that doesn’t exist, unless maybe this numerical score does exist in a purely quantum state, who the hell knows. √-183,384 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I think the best Legend of Zelda games are the weirdest ones, as I noted, and Echoes of Wisdom is suitably weird. I am so happy that the platforming segments from Link's Awakening have finally made their way into another TLoZ game. No Goombas, though, which is sad, but it's not a hazy dream world, so there shouldn't be. I've finished three dungeons and plan to lazily make my way through this one. It's very easy and would make a perfect "child's first TLoZ game," I think. I'm sure at least one dungeon will be a pain in my ass, though, as is tradition for these games.

SuperBrawl X (2000) notes: Before we get into SuperBrawl, it should be noted that the WCW Television Championship has been reactivated. I knew this from the Between the Sheets episode that covered this week’s worth of television (I have saved the section with all the dirtsheet notes on SuperBrawl for listening until after I finish the show). Much thanks to twiztor for digging up the clip of Hacksaw finding the belt in the trash and then promising to defend it against Robert Gibson of all people on the WCWSN before the PPV. As the rundown for the triple main event of this show plays, I think it’s worth recognizing that we have reached the final WCW PPV that will have a follow-up in the next year, as Souled Out is being swapped out for Sin, Uncensored is being swapped out for Greed, and we sadly won’t make it around to another Spring Stampede before WCW is under the ownership of Vinnie Jr. Gene Okerlund stands around outside Commissioner Kevin Nash’s office. The nWo ladies burst through the door, followed by Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Bros. Jarrett claims that they beat Nash’s ass and then says that as acting commissioner, he is allowing the Harris Bros. into the building for tonight's show. Compelling stuff! Tony S., Mark Madden, and Mike Tenay are our suboptimal commentary team tonight. Madden says that the “career clock is ticking down for both” in reference to Ric Flair and Terry Funk. Oh, you sweet summer child. They run down the full card while showing video clips of the wrestlers that really bring that early 2000 feel by stuttering and buffering like they're running on shitty computers that are using Windows 2000. In what is titled a SPECIAL MAIN EVENT MATCH, we’ll be getting the KISS Demon vs. THE WALL, BROTHER. I think it should actually be illegal to call that match a SPECIAL MAIN EVENT MATCH. If they did this in 2024, Lina Khan would be on the case. Huh, is this the PPV where James Brown actually does show up? They’ve cut most of Ernest Miller’s segments from the last few Nitros and Thunders about having James Brown show up, so I wonder if the actual segment with the Godfather of Soul will be left in this Network version of the show. Recap: Would you believe it that this WCW Cruiserweight Championship tournament hasn’t been very good? I know, I know, I’m surprised that it’s basically sucked, too. Lash LeRoux faces TAFKAPI (w/Paisley) for the vacant WCW Cruiserweight Championship, which is a long way from where it was last year with Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman fighting over it. Kidman defended the gold successfully at the previous SuperBrawl against Chavo Jr., in fact. How in fuck is Chavo Jr. not winning this tournament?! I know that I’ve typed this before, but still! Chavo has an outside case for being the most misused talent in WCW during the Nitro Era. Even if you think Cruiserweight Champ/TV Champ is his ceiling, after he got over, they shoved him down the card, randomly turned him heel even though he was still over as a babyface, then took him off television. Russo showed up and made him an Amway salesman before he was taken off television AGAIN. Fuck you, WCW. YES, I’M FIRED UP ABOUT CHAVO JR.’S TREATMENT BECAUSE HE’S LEGIT AWESOME AND DESERVES FAR BETTER. After a pre-match dust-up between Paisley, Lash, and TAFKAPI, they work a pacey match to start. Lash gets a couple of quick two counts off shoulderblocks, then tries a Bourbon Street Blues that TAFKAPI kills with a standing side kick. Lash is able to turn things around, get TAFKAPI to topple to ringside, and then land a slingshot crossbody. Back in the ring, TAFKAPI catches a kick and dragon screws Lash to the mat. TAFKAPI follows with a legdrop and then a knee to the gut as LeRoux hangs in the Tree of Woe position. Lash fights up from underneath; he tries a sunset flip, but TAFKAPI blocks it by grabbing ref Charles Robinson’s junk to get leverage. Holy hell, this gimmick sucks. Anyway, we get an obligabrawl that TAFKAPI controls; back in the ring, he tries a series of counts that get only two. Lash takes advantage of TAFKAPI’s yapping at the ref to land some punches, and control of the match goes back and forth. Paisley, who has spent all match cheering on her charge from the apron, holds onto TAFKAPI’s arms when LeRoux sits the Artist up top. LeRoux’s Latino Frankensteiner attempt doesn’t pull TAFKAPI over with him; he plummets to the mat, and TAFKAPI follows with a diving DDT that scores what (to me) is a surprising three count. This is TAFKAPI’s first title reign since he was WCW Television Champion back in early 1997. Too bad that it didn’t come in a better match. The bad Prince gimmick has caused Iaukea’s work to regress because he’s out here trying to work dumb character-based spots into his matches. Norman Smiley is getting his ribs taped; he’s in pain after THE WALL, BROTHER put him through a table on Thunder. Brian Knobbs shrieks out a shrill, bad promo on Bam Bam Bigelow while standing in the back with Gene Okerlund. We get a shot of a room with a PRIVATE: KEEP OUT sign on it. Tony S. says that this is one of the most intriguing stories going on in WCW today. The scary thing is that he might be right about that. Bam Bam Bigelow defends the WCW Hardcore Championship against Brian Knobbs next up. Fit Finlay comes out and distracts Bammer right from the beginning of the match, allowing Knobbs to jump Bigelow. This match happened last year in a nondescript hardcore match on PPV that I’m pretty sure wandered over to the internet desk, and we get the same wandering brawl to that same desk here. They could have just rerun the tape from Knobbs/Bigelow at Slamboree ’99, probably. Finlay jumps in again to help Knobbs when Bam Bam slams Knobbs through a table, but Knobbs tells Fit that he wants to win this one on his own. Bammer hits a Greetings in the center of the ring, but Finlay comes back out again and runs a distraction as Bam Bam goes up top with a chair for some reason instead of just pinning Knobbs. Knobbs is able to land a cast shot on a distracted Bigelow for three to win the hardcore title for the second time. I’m pretty sure this was shorter than their Slamboree ’99 match, which makes it marginally better than that match, I suppose. Ric Flair and TTP fire one another up before their big matches tonight. Security watches over the dressing rooms of Scott Hall and Sid Vicious; apparently, everyone is banned from getting into either room before tonight’s main event, if the wooden line delivery of the security dudes is to be believed. Norman Smiley rules and all, but he shouldn’t need to be selling a rib injury to lose a one-on-three handicap match to the men of Three Count. The latter lug their dance mats to the ring and aw, they didn’t even dance. Here comes Norman Smiley. Norm almost immediately back body drops Moore outside and onto Helms and Karagias at ringside. This is actually a novel bout, I have to say. Norm eats a low dropkick and all three members score successive two counts on him before the match settles down and Moore controls Smiley. Helms tags in and lands a gutwrench suplex, then goes up and misses a dope senton bomb/swan dive sort of deal. Norm grabs Helms and hits a giant swing, then topples over after releasing Helms. He powers through the wave of nausea that hits him to set up for a Big Wiggle on Helms. Karagias runs in to stop it, but oops, he gets distracted by Helms and they start a dance routine. Norm busts in on the routine and then ducks a double clothesline from them to hit one of his own. Moore jumps in and runs the ropes, but Smiley wraps him in a Norman Conquest that is broken up by Helms. Three Count strips off Norm’s Jerry Rice jersey to BOOOOOOs from the crowd in the Cow Palace. Now that Norm’s taped ribs are exposed, all the Three Count members target them. Ultimately, Norm just cannot fight off all three of his opponents; Karagias and Helms land top-rope splashes, and Moore locks on a Lion Tamer that forces Smiley to submit. Watching Three Count hit moves successively and at high speed has me legitimately stoked for their feud with the Jung Dragons. I absolutely cannot wait. I need to think about if this match was charming enough for me because it was certainly unique. The announcers make note of Smiley waving the refs off and walking out under his own power in a surprisingly courageous (not Karagias) manner. Who is behind that mysterious door? I can’t promise that I’ll manage to care, but Jeff Jarrett certainly does. He sends the Harris Boys to find out. Hey, the KISS Demon’s hydraulics on his coffin worked! Good for him not being stuck in there for thirty minutes. In a reverse from the how this usually works, his theme is dubbed by the Network's editors on PPV whereas it isn’t on Nitro and Thunder. I assume that this match will go thirty seconds, if that, considering the Demon jobbed in three seconds to Bam Bam Bigelow a couple weeks back. THE WALL, BROTHER’s music hits, but there’s no sign of Dollar Tree 911 anywhere. The Demon walks down the ramp to figure out what’s going on, and TW,B jumps him from behind and brawls with him in the aisle. They make it back to the ring, where TW,B dominates. After a couple of minutes, the Demon actually hits a springboard lariat which is reasonably smooth for a guy of his size. The Demon’s spot of control actually lasts for a decent bit as he lands a back elbow, a dropkick, and a vertical suplex. However, he gets caught on a corner splash attempt, draped across the top rope, and hit with a backbreaker. The Demon catches TW,B going up and presses him to the mat, but the Demon goes up and is himself caught and chokeslammed for three. That actually wasn’t the worst way to spend four minutes, but honestly Torborg looked like a more interesting prospect than TW,B in this match. The Cat tells Gene Okerlund to cup his hand and check his breath, maybe chew some gum or get a Cert, and also that James Brown will be dancing with him in the ring tonight. So, in a cut bit of content from the previous Thunder on the Network edit of the show, the Maestro confronted the Cat over the latter’s choice of musical hero. When Okerlund mentions this, the Cat says that Beethoven stole his music from James Brown by way of Little Richard, laughs in a very hokey way, and then tells Okerlund to shut up. Okerlund is legit amused by Miller’s rants. The Harris Boys bang on the PRIVATE: KEEP OUT door, then go look for a key when no one answers. Tank Abbott paces. Big Al paces. I sigh wearily. Hype video: Tank Abbott punches dudes. I don’t like Tank Abbott, but it’s weird that they’d expect us to care about him feuding with some dude in the audience who we know nothing about. He has not been helped in any way by his booking. Anyway, this Leather Jacket on a Pole Match that I cannot believe didn’t originate from a Russo initiative is up next. This is, you won’t be surprised to find out, a total catastrophe. Al takes his belt off and loops it around his wrist while Abbott yells YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ GO, WELL LET’S GOOOOOOO. Al drops his belt while trying to loop their right hands together. They finally loop their right hands together and punch each other with their left hands while yelling DO IT, C’MON DOOOO ITTTTT, BRING SOME MORE SHIT TO THE TABLE, DO ITTTTT. Al goes to one knee after a left, but then he gets up and hits Tank in the face with a left forearm as the belt falls off again. Al gently moves Tank toward the corner post and, after a few hours…he backs off of yanking him crotch-first into the post. Al yells THAT’S TOO GOOD FOR HIM before climbing with the speed and agility of a geriatric eighty-something up to the lowest rope and then gently stepping onto Tank’s face. Tank fires up and lands a right and a few hammerfists before scoring a judo throw and yelling GET UP, FUCKFACE. So many cusses! So, this match is far too long and incredibly shitty. Tank puts Al in Samoan Drop position, then climbs the ropes and…accidentally drops Al to ringside. Tank goes back up and grabs the jacket as the crowd chants YOU FUCKED UP. He really did; that was supposed to be his big strongman spot. After the bell, Tank pulls out a switchblade, holds it to Al’s throat, and then yells I SHOULD KILL YOU! I SHOULD FUCKIN’ KILL YOU! Tony S. pretends he has scissors and that he’s really going to clip the clean-shaven Al’s beard as we immediately cut to a wide shot of the crowd. I mean, if you’re going to land yourself on the Absolute Dirt Worst list, do it in style, right? Stevie Ray cuts a bummer of a promo with Gene Okerlund while J. Biggs and Big T. stand there. Stevie mugs the camera and makes Okerlund almost bust out laughing. Recap: Stevie walks around a low-income neighborhood in Atlanta while pretending that it’s actually Harlem even though anyone who knows anything about either of these places would immediately see that it was Atlanta. Oh, also this Harlem Heat feud that has been teased on and off since the middle of 1998 is even worse than I imagined that it would be when I was watching those 1998 shows. Booker T. cuts a boilerplate promo with Gene Okerlund, and good for him that he’s trying even though this angle is deeply stupid and he’s going to have to job to a completely washed Big T. Speaking of, here is Big T. (w/J. Biggs and Stevie Ray); why in the heck did WCW see fit to bring this dude in at this point? I was there when Ahmed Johnson won the WWF Intercontinental Championship from Goldust back in 1996, and I was sure this dude was going to be a megastar. Cut to 2000, and we’re putting him over Booker for reasons that are beyond me. Madden makes me laugh for the first time since he’s began his commentary role by claiming that if Malcolm X acted like Booker has been acting, he’d “just be Malcolm and Harlem Heat would own the X.” I think the Nation of Islam would have probably claimed the X before Harlem Heat 2000 did, but fair play, Madden! Anyway, Stevie mean mugs fans in the front row while Big T. waddles around the ring and Booker sells for him for some reason. No one wants to see that shit. Booker should win this in under a minute, and then Big T. should just be called Big, which he is. Especially in the gut area of his singlet. Yeah, I know, it’s mean, but this is an upper-body business, dammit! Anyway, I refuse to report on any of this nonsense in depth; here’s the finish: Booker lands a Houston Side Kick and goes up for a missile dropkick, but Biggs hops on the apron. Booker goes over and knocks him off the apron, then lands a Book End on Big T. He goes up again and Stevie gets on the apron; Booker hits him with a standing side kick and then goes up and lands a missile dropkick on Ahmed. He covers, gets two, and the lights go out. We hear the clock strike one, which usually brings out Midnight, and hey, that makes no sense, the clock should BONG twelve times to bring out Midnight, not just once. But alas, we instead come back to 4x4 standing on the apron; Booker is distracted by this man’s amazing wideness and turns around and into a Pearl River Plunge that scores a three count. Biggs gets in the ring and declares the trio to be now known as Harlem Heat Incorporated. OK, can this feud be over now? That skeevy fuckboi Gene Okerlund twists around to look at Symphony’s ass while she is standing right there facing him. Then, he asks the Maestro about his musical differences with the Cat. The Maestro marble-mouths through a promo in which he basically ban bets the Cat that James Brown won’t show up tonight. The Harris Bros. yell at some poor custodial worker to open the PRIVATE: KEEP OUT door with his ring of keys. None of the custodian's keys work, and he says that the lock must have been changed, so the Harris Bros. beat on him for a few seconds. Recap: Vampiro and Billy Kidman have a somewhat baffling feud in which THE WALL, BROTHER was briefly involved for some reason. Don’t ask me why. I’m tall, and so is my wife. She’s only two-and-a-half or three inches shorter than me. I would absolutely date someone who was taller than me. If my wife were, say, six-three. I’d definitely still be attracted to her. I say this to illustrate that I don’t really think much of a guy being shorter than a lady if I see them walking on the street as a couple. HOWEVER, I do think Billy Kidman comes off as kind of a shrimp when he’s craning his neck upward to kiss his high-heel wearing girlfriend. The visual specifically is noticeable in a pro wrestling ring. And even that wouldn’t matter if Kidman came off as tough or an especially elite athlete, but he doesn’t come off that way. If you show me a five-eight point guard who can jump out of the gym standing next to a five-ten lady that he’s dating, it works. Same with a five-six lightweight boxer next to a five-nine woman. Rey Misterio Jr. could stand next to Torrie wearing those same heels and he’s such an elite athlete that I wouldn’t think anything of it. Anyway, my point is that Kidman doesn’t look like a star and this on-screen pairing with Torrie Wilson has been part of the reason for that. It's been a bad kayfabe pairing for him. Vampiro makes it down here and they proceed to have an okay match. Both of these guys have clear appeal with the crowd, but I can’t get there with either of them myself at this point. Torrie takes a bump off the apron that is extremely telegraphed when Vamp kicks Kidman into her. Kidman goes out to check on her, and Vamp takes advantage of the distraction. He grabs a chair, and Torrie tries to rip it away from him. He threatens her with it, but Kidman dropkicks it into him, then rolls him in the ring for two. I’ve run down Kidman and Vampiro as generally mediocre performers, but let’s not forget Torrie. She has no personality, goofy facial expressions, and she can’t talk. It’s nonsense that she’s all up in these videos, but we can’t get Mona doing more stuff on TV. If you need a hot blonde for your show, she’s the one (though once she let her natural brunette color come through, she only got even hotter, okay, ol’ Smellynetico is calming himself down). The fellas in the ring trade two counts; Vamp hits a powerbomb, holds on, and hits a release powerbomb that gets two and a crowd pop. Vamp sits Kidman up top and looks for a killshot, but Swerve Strickland is nowhere to be seen, so the long and short of it is that Kidman reverses a superplex attempt into an ugly falling reverse DDT for three. Meh. How am I only halfway through this show? Terry Funk stands with Dustin Rhodes and cuts a somnambulant promo to threaten Ric Flair. Sid busts out of his dressing room; security tries to stop him and he yells DON’T TOUCH ME, EVER before sending one of them to find Gene Okerlund and bring the wrinkled little perv announcer to him. Recap: The Mamalukes are still feuding with David Flair and Crowbar, and Crowbar deserves better. So does Daffney, for that matter. Gene Okerlund interviews Disco and the Mamalukes about their upcoming Sicilian Stretcher Match. Disco talks, and it’s fine. Vito talks, and it’s too long. Johnny the Bull talks, and huh, they let him talk. OK, here come David Flair and Crowbar (w/Daffney). Tenay indicates that both members of a tag team must be carried entirely out of the arena on stretchers for the match to end. Disco gets on commentary after the Mamalukes make it to the ring while we get a generic, dull tag team hardcore brawl. It’s boring. Yeah, I’ll tell you either when something cool happens or when the finish happens. OK, something cool: Crowbar slingshot splashes himself over the top rope and onto Johnny the Bull as the Bull lays prone on a stretcher. Leave it to Crowbar to do something cool in this match, of course. Daffney spots the camera getting a close-up of her face, screams, and cackles. She is weirdly adorable. She gets in the ring and hits the Bull with a Frankensteiner to a pop, then sprays Disco with mace when Disco hops in the ring to confront her. This match is basically a showcase for why the booking committee should immediately break Crowbar and Daffney away from the rest of this riffraff and push them a bit. Instead, Crowbar just gets forcibly pushed through a table by a Vito powerbomb. Johnny the Bull leapfrogs to the top rope, takes quite a bit of time to himself, and then lands a guillotine legdrop that’s pretty good. Disco keeps asking for medical attention and updates on the match every time he hears a big move happen. This annoys commentary, and it’s a fairly funny bit. I’m baffled by David Flair’s elimination from this match because two refs wheel him to the back after the ‘lukes tape him onto a stretcher. The bell randomly rings. I’m confused, but I’m also too bored to care about what the heck is even happening. Finally, the Bull lays waste to Crowbar with a pipe as for the second time tonight, a one-on-three numbers game catches up to the one as the three destroy him. Vito hits a splash on Crowbar through a table; they stretcher him out themselves (and strap Daffney into a wheelchair besides) to end this match. I feel like Mickey Jay and whichever other ref wheeled Dopey Dave out should also be co-tag champs. Anyway, this wasn’t good, but you knew it wouldn’t be, right? The Harris Bros. are incompetent, but Jeff Jarrett remains unfazed! Okerlund is led up to Sid’s door so that Sid can threaten Jarrett and Scott Hall. He is determined to hold onto the gold. The Cat comes to the ring to make good on his claims that James Brown will be joining him to cut a rug. I’ve seen people rip on WCW for not promoting Brown’s appearance, but a) the point is that the Cat is believed to be lying from week to week, but we know that when he makes a claim that Brown will finally show up on PPV, there’s a good chance it’ll actually happen considering that it's PPV, and b) it didn’t mean one damn thing to the buyrate anyway. The camera focuses on a cute lady in the crowd grooving to the Cat’s theme. She’s so cute that it focuses on her again a few seconds later. Miller calls the crowd “rednecks.” In San Francisco? Anyway, he crows about proving the crowd wrong before NOT James Brown dances out. But then actual James Brown shows up shortly after that. First, the Maestro and Symphony hit the ring. The Maestro thinks that he’s won their bet, but the Cat threatens to kick the Maestro in his behind. The Maestro rips off NOT James Brown’s wig, but then actual James Brown and a whole posse dance to the ring. What a strange mini-angle to push on the past month of shows. The Maestro passes out in shock that Brown is here. James Brown hugs the Cat before they cut a rug. This is easily the most over thing on the show so far. Huh, maybe they should have promoted it more directly. James Brown even gets his cape from his attendant and helps revive the Cat with it. I unironically enjoyed this. Gene Okerlund interviews Scott Hall, who shoots about how he’s in trouble again and it shouldn’t matter that he doesn’t get along with Terry Taylor “the bookers” because he’s very popular. Recap: It’s not 1989 anymore, so Ric Flair/Terry Funk hasn’t been a very hot feud. I don’t blame Funk – that match with David Flair on Nitro a couple weeks back was effective, and Arn was also quite convincing as part of it. Ric Flair has been a zero trying to force this heel turn that the fans don’t want, though. Gene Okerlund talks to forced heel zero Ric Flair before this Texas Death Match. Well, at least we’ll probably finally get some blood in a match that would call for it [Editor's note: We did not]. Alright, let’s get through this triple main. Terry Funk (w/Dustin Rhodes) hits the ring first; Ric Flair is the second man out here. This Texas Death Match has no rest periods, which should move it along. Well, at least Funk throws some sweet punches. No one in the crowd fucks with Funk, but Flair is begging off and heeling and shit. This match is all wrong, as I knew it would be, and really, as anyone with a working brain cell could have foreseen. Like with the Sicilian Stretcher Match, I’ll tell you when something notable happens and, at the very least, I’ll fill you in on the finish. OK, it’s just been punches, chops, and a spinning toe hold so far. Funk hits a vertical suplex on the mats; Flair yells AW SHIT, and Funk covers Flair for three. Flair uses the guardrail to get up at five, though. The desk did a nice job of talking about how the lack of rest period would shorten the match and that the strategy of purposely eating a pinfall in order to get a bit of a rest wouldn’t work here. I wonder what the kayfabe strategy is in this match. Would you still eat a pinfall on purpose for any reason? I guess you might do it to stop an opponent’s onslaught and get some space so that you can pop up at eight and have room to re-engage. Madden notes the silence of the crowd and suggests that it’s because of awe and not because they are bored or because this is the fifteenth hardcore match of the night. Flair attacks Funk’s knee with a chair and gets a quick submission off a Figure Four; Funk takes a six count to get back up. As Flair goes up top and gets predictably caught and countered, Madden points out that Flair hasn’t hit a top-rope move since he beat Harley Race with one at the first Starrcade, which is a bit too on the nose, bud. The match spills back outside, where Funk lands a piledriver on the mats. He pulls back the mat, then covers, and Flair kicks out, so Funk pulls back the rest of the mat. They exchange strikes before Funk hits a piledriver on the concrete that the desk points out didn’t actually land on the concrete. Fellas, help these guys out, willya?! Funk pins Flair, then goes and sets up a table while Flair pulls himself up at six. Did James Brown and Ernest Miller tire out this crowd? I mean, Flair/Funk was a cold feud because Funk isn’t even remotely over and hasn’t been in this whole WCW run, but the silence of the crowd is staggering. Anyway, Funk grabs a mic, asks Ric if he wants to quit, and then spikes Flair with the mic when the answer is a firm “no.” He declares that he’s going to put Ric through another table and destroy his neck like he did years ago. They get up on the table and then Funk lands a piledriver through it; THAT woke the crowd up. Funk covers for one, two, and he pulls Flair’s arm up because he wants to inflict more damage. The Funker goes out to ringside and grabs another table. He puts it in the ring, sets it up…and then covers Flair? What the fuck? Flair, who had a whole lot of time to lay there and recover, kicks out at two. This series of spots makes no sense. Why would Funk pull off of Flair to ostensibly administer more punishment, but then try to pin him before hitting the table spot that he broke the cover to set up. Boy, that was a nonsensical sequence. Funk goes up for a moonsault onto a prone Flair, but Flair rolls off the table and Funk goes through it. Flair covers for three, and Billy Silverman speeds through a count to ten that ends the match. I mean, I like piledrivers, and we got three of them in this bout. The one through the table was a dope spot. The rest of this match actually sucked pretty hard and the finish made no logical sense. Ultimately, it was a bad match. Gene Okerlund holds a mic while Hulk Hogan cuts a mediocre promo on The Total Package into it. Michael Buffer introduces The Total Package (w/Liz) and Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart) for this penultimate match of SuperBrawl X. Liz is forcing ol’ Smellynetico to remind himself that he needs to remain settled down. Anyway, this match stinks. Liz tries to cheat. Hogan threatens to clobber her. Jimmy Hart steals her bat. Hogan hits Luger with a big boot that wouldn’t earn a green belt at a YMCA, or something like that. Just when the match looks like it’ll be over, it goes on for even longer because the fellas in this ring are true sadists. Hogan hits a legdrop a few seconds later after a Jimmy Hart weight belt shot to a charging Luger and gets three. This match was dog shit. Hogan attacks Package with the weight belt after the match, but Ric Flair runs down and attacks Hogan. They try to Pillmanize his other arm, but Sting hits the scene to make the save. Recap: Jeff Jarrett just ain’t a viable main eventer in early 2000. Scott Hall isn’t either, but for totally different reasons. Neither James Brown nor Sting were in the mysterious room with the PRIVATE: KEEP OUT sign on the door according to Tony S. The door is now open; who could have possibly walked through it? I am waiting with bated regular, even breath. Jeff Jarrett (w/the Harris Boys) and Scott Hall make it to ringside; the match starts before Sid’s music even hits. Whatever. Sid walks down, gives a few daps, and gets jumped by Hall. The erstwhile nWo members try to team up on Sid, but he fights them and at least one Harris Bro off besides. The heels all take a breath before jumping back in, and like four minutes in if that, there’s a fucking ref bump from Billy Silverman. Fuck off, WCW. Sid hits a double chokeslam, but can’t get three on either opponent when Nick Patrick finally slides in to make the count. Jarrett lands a belt shot on Sid for 2.9. The crowd likes Sid, but they are quite interested in a potential Scott Hall victory. There’s a second ref bump when Jarrett hits Patrick with the Stroke. MAN, this sucks. Fucking WCW and their ref bumps. Hall covers Jarrett after a Harris Bro chair shot gone awry for 2.9. Jarrett hits the third ref, Charles Robinson, with the Stroke. He hits the fourth ref, Mickey Jay, with the Stroke as soon as Jay hits the ring. I mean, if they didn’t always do these fucking multiple ref bumps in their big matches, it would have been maybe more clever and interesting that Jarrett is destroying refs to get to Slick Johnson, his paid ref. Hall lands a Razor’s Edge on Jarrett, but Slick gets in the ring and fakes a shoulder injury when his hand is about to come down for the third tap of the mat. Jarrett KABONGs Hall, but the guy from the PRIVATE: KEEP OUT room turns out to be Roddy Piper in a ref's shirt – hey, continuity, I guess?!. Piper stops Slick from counting three on Jarrett’s pinfall. Jarrett flicks Piper off, and Piper pokes Jarrett in the eyes. Jarrett stumbles backward into a Sid chokeslam. The crowd pops big. Sid points to Hall and signals that he's going to hit him with a big move next. The crowd is makes a sound that basically says WAIT NO, WE LIKED WHEN YOU DID IT TO JARRETT, BUT WE HAVE A ROOTING INTEREST IN SCOTT HALL. Sid hits a powerbomb on Hall anyway and Piper counts three before Jarrett can break up the pinfall attempt. This show was just garden variety trash and not GAB ‘91/BatB’99/Souled Out ’00 levels of trash, which is impressive from a certain perspective considering the build was legendarily awful and the last week of major television before the show was all-time bad even for WCW in this era.

I am going back through and editing these more thoroughly in a separate document. I might start a KABONG COUNT if I a) remember to do it and b) feel like it. The TV title was made for a guy like Smiley with a little personality who can work interesting six minute matches on every television show. It's hard to fathom that we're eleven months from the company being out of Turner's hands and effectively dead and Russo hasn't showed his face on WCW television yet. This WCW speed run into cancellation has been something else.

Thunder Interlude – show number ninety-nine – 16 February 2000 "The WCW Gang is just cooked, man, they're just totally creatively washed, and if they were canceled right now at this moment, I'm not sure anyone would even notice" Boy oh boy, the build to SuperBrawl has been comparable to the build to Road Wild ’98…or Road Wild ’99…or pretty much any PPV since Road Wild ’99…This could be an all-time bad PPV…But first, we just have to crawl our way through one more Thunder… Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Bros. hanging out together is so low rent, so TNA-like…Hey, wait a minute… This show couldn’t afford to lose any more talent that is actually over, so maybe suspending Scott Steiner is a loss that is especially hard to take right now…The scuttlebutt, as I recall, is that they suspended him with pay, too, so hell, just go ahead and toss his ass on TV if you’re not even going to strip his pay… Anyway, after the show-opening recap, we THUNDERRRRRRRRR…right into a new intro!...It’s a very appropriate 1999 intro with the rock music and the quick cuts and rad filters…The guy who was promoting www.dynamitebushapes.com at one show got his sign, which he was waving behind Nash on one episode, into the opening of this Thunder...Free promotion - nice… Boring bitch Terry Taylor walks out here and cuts a – you guessed it – dull promo in which he speaks on behalf of the committee…Sid’s not in the building because he had an altercation with Scott Hall at a hotel – you tell me if it’s worked or a shoot because I don’t fucking know and won’t know until I listen to the Between the Sheets for this week…Taylor and the committee have sent Sid home because of that and because Jarrett keeps attacking him, and they want to keep Sid fresh for his title bout at Slamboree… Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Bros. come down to complain about this decision…Why does Jarrett keep using “local yokel” as an insult for Sid?...inigomontoyadonotthinkitmeans.gif…This low-rent trio beat the shit out of Terry Taylor as payback the committee’s matchmaking machinations on Monday…Taylor gets KABONGED to a tiny pop because that’s just how unlikeable Terry Taylor naturally is…They spray paint him, but the silver paint does not contrast very well with the color of Taylor’s shirt… Tenay and Heenan hype SuperBrawl and promote tonight’s matches while a guy holds up a CZW sign behind their head…Norman Smiley vs. THE WALL, BROTHER…Brian Knobbs vs. Fit Finlay in whatever the hell a Cast Match is…Tank Abbott will knock someone out to prep for this Big Al thing at SuperBrawl…And, after the break, we are told that Kaz Hayashi is wrestling TAFKAPI in the semis of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament, but, um, Psicosis beat Kaz in the first round already…Apparently, Psicosis couldn’t get back into the country after heading to Mexico, which I think has happened to him before...Can WCW ever run a tournament that isn’t completely fucking stupid for some reason?…That’s rhetorical, by the way… Furthermore, Tenay says that Scott Hall has been banned from the building tonight…That might not be a work either because he went to Germany over the previous weekend before this show and finally did enough stupid shit to cost him his job in WCW…This Kaz/TAFKAPI match doesn’t matter because Ms. Hancock is sent out here…We focus on Ms. Hancock bending over and then Paisley wanting to get in her grill because WOMEN, y’know?...TAFKAPI goes out there to grab Paisley and turns around into a dive from Kaz…My least favorite transition of control happens right after that…Look, let’s just get to the finish…Ah, the finish is that bad jumping DDT that TAFKAPI is now doing regularly…TAFKAPI wins it…These are two fun workers, so leave it to WCW to lay out a match involving them that wasn’t good… We see wrestlers walking…We also see the nurses rolling Nash into the arena, where Mike Graham asks him to use his commissioner powers to do something about the total rampage that Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Bros. are on… Norman Smiley faces THE WALL, BROTHER in a zero of a match…Sorry, not even Norman Smiley can get much out of TW,B…TW,B does his Mr. Hughes act…Smiley makes a late comeback, hits a swinging slam, and then wiggles over TW,B’s prone body…Unfortunately for him, he runs right into a goozle and a chokeslam shortly after for three…TW,B is looking for a table under the ring, but he and the techs didn’t connect on where it would be, so it takes him a bit of time to find it…TW,B then chokeslams Norm through the table…THE WALL, BROTHER IS NEVER GETTING OVER LIKE THAT, SO JUST STOP TRYING, WCW…Norm does a stretcher job…This is like the twelfth unconvincing stretcher job that a wrestler has done in the past few weeks of television, I think… Nash yells at a couple of WCW techs because they can’t get him into the ring in his wheelchair…I mean, it is a legitimate accessibility issue… They go back to this stretcher job deal with Norm...He's loaded into an ambulance…It was a chokeslam through a table…Dudes have taken worse on these shows and walked away… What the fuck…Tank Abbott is having a Skins Match, which apparently is a Leather Jacket on a Pole match, with Big Al at SuperBrawl…What the hell?...I want someone to prove to me that Vince Russo was just sitting at home and collecting a check from WCW without putting any booking ideas in…PROVE IT…I WANT EVIDENCE…Anyway, Tank KOs Van Hammer…Hammer actually lands a spinebuster before getting almost immediately KO’d after that… Billy Kidman and Vampiro exchange some unconvincing shit-talking while Torrie whines about them needing to calm down and work together later tonight… Nash wants to meet with Jeff Jarrett, who complains about it… The Total Package was better as a huge dude who was totally cowardly in spite of his size…Package as an arm-destroying sadist is far less enjoyable or convincing…Package crows about destroying Terry Funk and Hulk Hogan on Nitro…The only good thing about this is getting to do some male gazing at Liz in that dress…Package does his faux-humble self-promotion deal and then talks up his newfound, oldfound, and newfound again friendship with Ric Flair…Flair joins Package in the ring and does some boilerplate heeling and pumping up of Package and Liz…Flair crows about destroying Terry Funk and Hulk Hogan on Nitro… OK, here’s some entrance music cutting into Flair’s promo…Terry Funk and Dustin Rhodes hit the aisle…Funk is actually going to get some cheers over Flair because we’re in Philly…However, I am surprised at Funk not being all that over in New York or Pennsylvania…ECW really didn’t have that much reach when it came to making new fans in the area after all…Funk does his whole “horse-toothed, banana-nosed” insult as is standard when he stands against Flair…Anyway, Funk and Rhodes challenge TTP and Flair to a tag match later tonight…Flair and Package take about fifty billion fucking years to accept this challenge, though Package wants Rhodes to speak and say he wants the match himself…Funk never gives up the mic, so is this supposed to tease a Rhodes turn on Funk because Funk didn’t let him speak or what?... The Mamalukes and Disco cut an interview with Okerlund about their upcoming ITALIAN SICILIAN STRETCHA MATCH…Vito actually will face Crowbar in a PHILADELPHIA STREET FIGHT as a precursor tonight…Vito cuts an extremely shitty promo on Crowbar…How bad is Johnny the Bull on the mic that Vito is the guy who has to do all the talking?...Disco is right there…Just let him cut the promos!... Billy Kidman and Vampiro (w/Torrie Wilson) face the Harris Bros. in our next match…Tenay promotes a Mickey Jay/Slick Johnson backstage fight at Nitro that is totally unappealing as a thing to promote in my opinion…Please stop having ref angles, WCW!...This is one of the worst fucking things about WCW…They insist on running ref angles that always, always, ALWAYS suck…Speaking of things that always, always, ALWAYS suck, here are the Harris Bros....Kidman and the Harrises totally mistime a splash where one Harris Bro is supposed to duck, but the other is supposed to be right behind him to take the splash…I blame the latter two, who are total garbage… Kidman and Vampiro don’t work well together in kayfabe…Kidman is reluctant to spend much time or energy in this match considering how Vampiro walked out on him a couple of shows ago…However, Kidman eventually ends up in the ring again, and Vampiro walks out on him…The Harris Bros. hit an H-Bomb on Kidman…In a weird fucking ending, Vampiro comes back to the ring and willingly takes a chair shot from the Harris Bros., who pin him…What thee fuck?!... The Mamalukes run up on Crowbar in the back…It’s very dark in the area where the confrontation starts, so it’s hard to see what the hell is even happening…They eventually move to a more well-lit area in the arena and do a back suplex spot on the top of a car…I mean, that is a dangerous spot for a feud in a deep freeze on a show that no one is watching…Vito and Crowbar do a series of spots on a couple of cars that are kind of neat in isolation…Crowbar whiffs on a pipe stab and crushes a car windshield…This was a discount Regal/Finlay Parking Lot Brawl…I actually felt bad for these two trying this hard for no real heat or payoff…Vito drops an elbow onto a prone Crowbar as Crowbar lays on the top of a car hood for three…That was at least watchable just because these dudes are desperately trying to get over in any way they can… Nash stinks…Oh, he just talked to one of the Messrs. Scott on the phone and then said some dumb unsexy shit to his nurses if you were wondering why I wrote that previous sentence… We see a shitty pull-apart brawl between Mickey Jay and Slick Johnson from backstage at Nitro, and then – get this fucking shit! – Slick Johnson (w/the Harris Bros.) comes to the ring for a match with Mickey Jay…Ahahahaha, what in hell is going on here?!...This whole watchthrough has provided some redemption to Vince Russo…Not because he was any good at his job, but because pretty much everyone else was as bad or worse at his job than he was, and he should get less shit than he receives for destroying WCW creatively and financially…Anyway, fuck this match, fuck this segment, and fuck this show…The Harris Bros. run a distraction to help Slick win it… Next up, a Cast Match which I guess just means that cast shots are legal…How is this different from a typical hardcore match, really?...Jimmy Hart is also in a cast, so they make him the special ref…The match is a wandering brawl with cast shots that, of course, stinks…Knobbs wins with a final cast shot to Finlay's dome…There are only twenty minutes left in this show…It’s gonna feel like twenty hours… Overlong promo: SuperBrawl is presented by Snickers this year…The build to this show has been so legendarily bad that I feel like I shouldn’t purchase a Snickers for three or four years at the very least to retroactively punish them for helping to promote this garbage… Heenan references a very early Nitro (Show #2) to talk about Hogan taking a Torture Rack from Luger…That did, in fact, happen!...Luger dropped the guy before getting a sign that he submitted a la Meng putting the TDG on Goldberg (Show #153)…We cut to Hogan doing a bad pre-taped promo in a style that suggests that it’s 1989 and not 1999…He promises to reach down into his 1996 nWo-era bag of nastiness to beat Package at SuperBrawl…He also promises to break Liz’s bones, which is quite the thing for a babyface to promise!... The Total Package and Ric Flair face Dustin Rhodes and Terry Funk in the main event…Funk and Flair brawl around the broadcast table…Package saves Flair from a piledriver through the table…Everyone wanders, everyone brawls…The match finally gets back the the ring, where the Funker is FIP…Funk makes a comeback and scores a two-count off a weak clothesline…Funk and Package go back and forth for a bit before making dual tags to Rhodes and Flair, respectively…Rhodes wins the initial encounter and takes care of both heels…Rhodes tries to cover Package off a bulldog and the ref counts it even though Package isn’t legal…Flair saves anyway…The match breaks down, and Liz swings the bat at Rhodes’s ankle, connects, and then hands the bat to Package so that Package can tee off on Rhodes's skull…Funk goes after Package, but Flair simply locks a Figure Four on Rhodes and gets a pinfall victory…Funk gets a chair from the broadcast booth and tosses it into the ring, but TTP and Flair have long since vacated the premises…Bad match… Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Bros. are standing in Nash’s office…Jarrett and Nash bicker at one another before Nash bans the Harris Bros. from appearing at SuperBrawl…Jarrett responds to this decree by KABONGing Nash…Yes, a show-ending angle around the Harris Bros. being barred from the arena is just the way to put the cherry on top of the sundae that has been this build…How could this Thunder have ended any differently?... I straight up cannot wait for Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff to come back…Sullivan/Taylor/Ferrara are hands down the absolute worst booking team during this whole run so far…Worse than Russo/Ferrara…Worse than Bischoff/Nash…No wonder Nitro dropped from the low threes right into the mid-high twos once Russo left…The low quality of these shows is staggering…Like, I didn’t fully realize that it got quite this bad…These shows are somehow sub-Hogan/Bischoff in TNA level…And now we have our first slightly idiosyncratic score for a Thunder…OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MAKE IT STOP, IT HURTS, OH GOD, IT HURTSSSSSSSSSSSSS…

They're not equivalent. 2K does this with all it's sports and sports adjacent IP. NBA 2K is put on these services and marked down to five dollars on Switch, and it is a massive seller. That's because they try to get as many players to pick up the game at the end of it's life cycle to purchase card packs, etc. No need to fall into typical wrestling war rhetoric to explain this one.

I am somewhat surprised that Vinnie Jr. hasn't joined Russell Simmons in Bali yet or built a house in Switzerland or Russia and rolled out or something like that.

I think this is a great point. I actually shouldn't have compared my experience watching this to my experience watching AEW matches, as in the latter, the disconnect has lately been that I watched a match that was much hailed without seeing most or all of the television that built to it. In this case from the previous review, you are 100% correct: I've seen too much of the television around Flair and Hogan to get excited about a match like this.

I got quickly bored with BotW, but couldn't put TotK down. I tend to like the less conventional TLoZ games, though. It's sacrilege to say, but I have tried to play through ALttP like ten times and always get terribly bored with it. I find OoT to be dull. BotW is a 7/10 at best to me. But I love LA (which is aesthetically unconventional for the series) and MM, and I dug TotK quite a bit. About the only unconventional TLoZ game that I don't like is Skyward Sword. EoW isn't hard, and I doubt cutting on Hero Mode would do much to change that, but it's satisfying getting to an out-of-reach heart piece or fighting a gang of moblins using echoes, at least to me. I am only a couple hours in.

Lil' toybox Zelda is just too adorable. A too-adorable, monster-copying straight up killer, mind you. But still.

They took a decade to iterate on a pirate ship game that they already had a base for from AC: Black Flag. They failed on their most recent ventures with licensed games (M+R Sparks of Hope, SW: Outlaws, etc.). They waited so long to do an AC in Japan that Sucker Punch ate their lunch on that one. Why would I spend money on Shadows when I can just wait a few months and get Yotei? Etc., etc. Gonna be a subsidiary of Tencent before too long.

In episode five, I half expected a clip of Shane doing an L-to-tha-OG style rap to try and impress Vince at a backstage meeting. I have a lot of thoughts about that episode, but yeah, Shane is basically Kendall.

If I wasn't a wrestling fan who knew exactly what this sentence meant, I'd have asked you if you were having an episode and if I needed to call an ambulance for you.

The producers took one look at his work space and decided to rent a WeWork office down the street, I bet.

I don't watch stuff like this to learn anything new. I watch stuff like this to watch the carnies carny, and on that level, this first episode has been fun. Vince McMahon's eyebrows should be banned. I want them banned by the law.

Show #227 – 14 February 2000 “The one that sets a new bar for Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff to try and dive under” I’m not saying that I’m going to Nitrooooo under protest, but I sure would like to get to the other side of SuperBrawl as soon as possible. The Network says that part of this show might be lost to technical difficulties. OK, so I check the time bar. Two hours and four minutes?! Is the technical difficulty that they added more footage to this fucking Nitro? FUCK Recap: *rings bell on cart* ICE COLD FEUDS! I GOT YER ICE COLD FEUDS HERE! ICE COLD FEUDS! Mark Madden yammers on about Flair and Hogan before he is cut off by the Nitro title card and then another… Recap: WCW in early 2000 – for all the nights where you just can’t get to sleep *WARNING: WatchingWCWinearly2000maycausevomitingdiarrheableedingfromtheeyesandblackbile.MayalsocauselossofdesiretowatchprowrestlingandpersistentcomplainingaboutBischoffNashRussoFerraraSullivanTaylorBuschSiegelandTurnersuitsingeneral.WCWin2000puttingyoutosleepnotguaranteedandmaycausenightterrors* Jeff Jarrett, the Harris Boys, and the nWo women come to the ring, but if you'll recall, Jarrett doesn’t like women, so he kicks them out of the ring and sends them to the back. At least one Harris Boy is allowed to speak for some stupid-ass reason. Jarrett isn’t much better on the stick. He’s gonna be champ, yada yada yada, he recaps the past couple weeks of dull main event angle nonsense. The crowd starts a weak ASSHOLE chant because we’re in Long Island. Jarrett calls Sid a “local yokel,” but though Sid’s beloved in Long Island, he’s actually from Arkansas. Nash and two nurses show up on the TurnerTron, but before Big Kev can even get one bad insult all the way out, Jarrett has the Harris Boys threaten to hurt Dave Penzer unless the truck cuts the feed. They do, and Jarrett says that without Nash being able to make matches, he’s acting commissioner again. Is this any way to start a wrestling show? That’s rhetorical. Kevin Nash (in a wheelchair, w/ two nurses) hits the ramp as Jarrett does a shocked face that is good enough to make him a main eventer in modern WWE. Jeff Jarrett “Slapnuts Slapass” Count: 3. Jarrett and Nash proceed to have a very bad promo battle. The gist of things is that Nash decrees that Jarrett and Scott Hall are dual number one contenders to the big gol, which now means that the SuperBrawl main event is a Triple Threat Match. Then, he books Jeff Jarrett against Sid Vicious for later in the show to help his buddy Hall out by softening up Hall’s competition. This was a long, bad opening. Jarrett just is not that dude at this point. Other matches for tonight: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan, and let’s stop here for a sec. Tony S. says it’s been “about five years” since we’ve seen this on television, and I’ll just be nice and assume that he means free TV, which I think it’s been three years since their last one-on-one bout on free television (at the Clash on 8/15/96). What else do we have? Let’s see: Terry Funk vs. The Total Package, a few midcarders, ladies in skimpy clothing, and DDP’s book being promoted. Flair and TTP show up to the arena, but their dialog is indistinct over the sound of the Wolfpac theme. To Excess is not interested in helping Norman Smiley fight Three Count tonight; they want to chase rats instead. Their term, not mine. Three Count’s attempt at a dance routine is edited out of the show; we come back from break to the trio reacting in anger to Norman Smiley’s music cutting in on their spot. Lenny does end up joining Smiley at ringside, but there’s no sight of Lodi. This is an inconsequential match in which everyone dives into everyone else in a compressed segment that leads right into Ms. Hancock coming to the ring. Meanwhile, Lenny lands a front Russian on Moore, and we cut between the ring in the action and Ms. Hancock talking about how Lenny and Lodi are doofuses. Norm hits a swinging slam and a Big Wiggle, but we cut back to Ms. Hancock dancing on the table. Are we sure that Vince Russo still isn’t booking this show? The guys in the ring stop wrestling and look toward her. She leaves. Norm locks a quick Norman Conquest on Karagias for the submission victory. Other than the enjoyment of watching Keibler dance on a table, maybe the cheapest of enjoyments that WCW in 2000 can offer me, this was a waste of my time. Meng barks angrily at some dude in the backstage area, I suppose? Tony S. fills us in: Meng thinks that he’s the real deal and not Tank Abbott. Rick Fuller (spelled “Ric Fuller” on the chyron) gets KO’d by Abbott, who is already in the ring. The edit of this Nitro is fucking weird. Abbott is briefly distracted before the bell by Big Al at ringside, but that gives Fuller only a momentary advantage that quickly evaporates. If you ever wondered what Goldberg’s push in ‘97/’98 would look like if Goldberg was void of charisma, here's this fucking Tank Abbott push! Mark Madden is extraordinarily bad on commentary, by the way. Pre-tape: Mike Tenay interviews Tank Abbott. Abbott bores me by talking about his UFC experience and Big Al. Jeff Jarrett bitches at the WCW Executive Committee over the phone, demanding that his match against Sid later tonight be for "the title," in what will be a callback to Jarrett's past fuckery with loose wording, I'm sure. Okerlund interviews Paisley, and also TAFKAPI is there. Huh, TAFKAPI actually speaks. Not only that, he speaks in full sentences. He appears to be sexually aroused by the idea of wrestling Psicosis on Thunder, but in the least sexy way possible. I want Russo back? Yeah, I want Russo back. I mean, then I want him gone, but I want him back. Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson do ZERO for me. I do not like this pairing on screen. They have no chemistry even though they were dating in real life. They come to the ring. Vampiro doesn’t do much for me either, and this is before a Sting feud that I feel like maybe I saw some of in real time and hated? I don’t know. They’re tagging up against La Parka and TAFKAPI (w/Paisley). This show is a fuckin’ SLOG. Madden gets Iaukea and IKEA confused. I am in hell. Just please get me to SuperBrawl already. This is a nothing match in which stuff happens like Vampiro ignoring TAFKAPI kicking him in the back on a rope run and TAFKAPI looking confused about it. La Parka needs to stop doing quality bumps for this stupid company. Save your body. Paisley and Torrie swing at one another while Madden yells: CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT! TEAR OFF THOSE TOPS! IT’S AFTER NINE, THE KIDS ARE IN BED! Have I mentioned how much I miss Bobby Heenan lately? Vampiro walks out on Kidman soon after; TAFKAPI and Kidman completely mistime a diving DDT from TAFKAPI that scores a win for he and Parka. Madden, that idiot, keeps pointing out directly that this finish is a hook for the Kidman/Vampiro match at SuperBrawl. This was juuuuuuust bad enough to get on the ol’ Dirt Worst list. Nash tells the committee to go ahead and make Jarrett/Sid a title match. Disco and the Mamalukes meet up with their big Italian-American family at a big Italian-American wedding reception held here at the arena in the parking lot. There’s a break. We go back to said wedding after the break as Vito gives his sister an envelope full of cash. Hey, it’s babyface Chris Jericho’s theme! And the person who comes out to it: Monster Ripper. That is discordant. I guess this is WCW’s feeble attempt at a women’s division. Hey, it’s Mona’s theme! Hey, it’s Mona! Push Mona, you fucking morons! Or, you know, release her and let her go be a useful piece of the midcard in the WWF. Oklahoma’s music hits, and you know what, this show is really pushing the post-Starrcade ’99 Nitro for being the worst Nitro in the fucking bunch. Oklahoma squawks in the ring for a bit about the new women’s division. He also introduces Madusa as the special guest referee for this bout. Oklahoma graces commentary, so, you know, that’s how this is going. The match starts out decent, as you’d guess considering the competitors, but Madusa doesn’t even count a Mona pinfall attempt because she’s wandering around in the corner. She’s bad enough at doing this that trying to derive any enjoyment from this match is impossible. Oklahoma wants to help Ripper, who he’s sweet on, so he tries to help her leverage on a Mona sunset flip attempt. Madusa kicks his hands away, but Ripper sits down on Mona and swings a fist at Madusa's head that connects; Oklahoma jumps in and counts the three. FUUUUUUyou know what, I don’t care anymore. This show is just dire, and that’s the way it is. I think this big Italian-American wedding would be a promising little series of comedy segments if anyone in these segments were able to do comedy. Jarrett, the Harrises, and the nWo ladies are excited about Jarrett getting a title shot tonight. Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair backstage; he’s in conniptions about Hulk Hogan and Terry Funk, per the usual lately. The Total Package (w/Liz) works a match with Terry Funk. Tony S. says that Flair/Funk at Starrcade is now a Texas Death Match. Madden goes on and on about Hogan and Flair and all sorts of nonsense related to them while TTP’s entrance goes on forever. Terry Funk finally gets sick of waiting for Package to pose and comes down, tears away Package’s track suit for him, and throws a lot of punches. We get an obligabrawl that Funk controls for long enough to grab a table while Package lays prone on the floor. Liz distracts Funk and gives Package a chance to take over. TTP eventually puts Funk through the table before bringing things back in the ring. Boy, does Package bore me to death with his targeted attack on Funk’s lower lumbar. Funk avoids a Torture Rack with a back kick to the balls and scores a DDT for two. The wily Texan lands a neckbreaker and goes up for a moonsault, but Package rolls toward him and Funk kinda snaps his neck on TTP. I mean, Liz also slid the commemorative chair in the ring and Funk kinda landed on it, but the head snap looked way worse. Package attacks Funk with a chair to the head, but Arn Anderson runs down and grabs the chair, then walks away with it to prevent further damage to Funk. Okerlund tells us that the title shot in the main event is actually for Jarrett’s U.S. Championship, not Sid’s World Heavyweight Championship. Nash and the nurses do a shitty comedy spot in the back; Sid cackles at the monitor, which I guess is sequenced improperly because I think he’s laughing at the United States title shot thing. I know he’s not laughing at Nash and these nurses. Daffney crashes the wedding and catches the bouquet; David Flair and Crowbar run in and bust up the reception, then smash wedding cake on one another. BOY IS THIS FEUD HOT NOW, WHOA, WE’RE SCORCHING OVER HERE The New Harlem Heat (w/J. Biggs) comes to the ring. I guess Sullivan and Taylor don’t remember anything about mid-‘90s WWF because NEW versions of tag teams never get over. David Flair and Crowbar (w/Daffney) come to the ring as their opponents even though this is supposed to be a tag title match. Wait, no, the Mamalukes got their belts back somehow after Daffney stole them on Thunder. Wow, those tag belts are like Ernest Miller’s red slipper; they just magically find their way back to their original owners after being stolen. I guess this is a triple threat tag match for the titles. Disco gets on commentary and whines about the very expensive reception that was just destroyed even though the joke is that they set up a cheap tent in the parking lot of this arena – a joke that Tony S. and Madden are both clear to explain to all of us rubes, us imbeciles, us morons in the audience in case we didn't get it. Oh yeah, there’s a match. It’s deeply shitty. Disco and Madden bicker back and forth at one another. Sartre famously wrote that “hell is other people.” While I think that existentialism is a wonderful philosophical framework for living one's life, I’d like to submit that he’s wrong: Hell is actually watching Vito and Big T. wrestle one another in the year 2000. Stevie hits what is the worst Slapjack I’ve EVER seen on Crowbar in which he doesn’t even drop down with the guy. He just lets him go and Crowbar gently flutters to the mat. Dopey Dave hits Stevie with the crowbar a couple of seconds later and Vito grabs the stunned Stevie in a small package for three. Post-match, TNHH attacks the Mamalukes and gives Disco a spike Slapjack that at least looks a little dangerous. Then Big T. gives Vito a Pearl River Plunge that is actually dangerous because the out-of-shape, no-kneed bastard topples over while landing it. Stevie helps him land a safer Pearl River Plunge on Johnny the Bull. They leave, and Crowbar and Flair pick at the Mamalukes’s bones with weapon shots; we cut away to the ladies at the wedding reception wailing and gnashing their teeth as they watch on television. Hello, Dirt Worst, my old friend/I’ll put a match on you again/ Kanyon has lost his agent, but he’s still got the ladies. He sparks up a feud with Dustin Rhodes by insulting Lil’ Dust’s promo cutting performance from Thunder. The Mamalukes jump off the stretchers they were carted away from the ring on as Vito yells for Mean Gene and promises to take care of things “Italian style.” Bam Bam Bigelow heads to the ring to defend the WCW Hardcore Championship against THE WALL, BROTHER. It’d be nice if this match lasted about as long as Bigelow’s match on the previous Thunder against the KISS Demon, but no dice. There are plundah shots. Bigelow whiffs on a dive. TW,B takes a chair shot to the head for absolutely no reason in this nothing match on an all-time bad Nitro that no one in their right mind would watch ever again unless they had pledged to review every episode of this godforsaken wrestling show. TW,B lumbers up the ropes, but Bigelow catches him and dumps him through a table, then lands a Greetings for three. I think it’s very weird that in the midst of this TW,B push as some sort of monster heel, they had him job cleanly to Bigelow in a nothing hardcore match. It doesn’t matter because TW,B sucks, but still. Knobbs hustles to the ring as fast as his broken body will allow and attacks Bigelow after the match. Knobbs leaves, and TW,B gets back to his feet and chokeslams Bigelow for good measure. Gene Okerlund interviews the Mamalukes in the back. This feud with David Flair and Crowbar is already white hot, but they somehow burst this thing into pure flames by proposing an ITALIAN STRETCHA MATCH, ITALIAN STRETCHA MATCH, I’M COMIN’ FOR YA, YA DEAD at SuperBrawl. Someone tell Stone Cold/Hitman to eat its heart out. That feud was but a match lit while standing on a glacier in the Arctic during a cold snap compared to this Mamalukes/David Flair and Crowbar conflagration. Dustin Rhodes is still coming to the ring to the Seven theme, which is a hilarious contrast since it's so epic and mysterious, yet he’s dressed like a divorced guy who goes to exurban country western bars on the weekends and also most weekdays and drinks himself into a stupor as he complains about his bitch of an ex-wife who left him for some guy from the city who is an accountant, a little twerp of an accountant, can you imagine that! Seriously, if you told me that Lil' Dust stepped out of a Charles Portis novel in which he was the extremely unlikeable protagonist, I'd believe you in a second. Oh yeah, Kanyon (w/ladies) is his opponent. After Kanyon gabs on about being the true embodiment of Hollywood, Dustin jumps him and rolls him up for two. Kanyon dumps Lil’ Dust outside and follows. He grabs a chair, but very annoying ref Billy Silverman takes the chair away and then sends Kanyon on a merry chase that ends with Dustin lying in wait and hitting the chasing Kanyon with a lariat. Dustin gets back in the ring, hits a bulldog, and sets Kanyon up for a Shattered Dreams. Dustin gets the crowd a bit loud for it, then hits it, and after that, he and Kanyon have a short exchange before Rhodes hits a chokeslam (?!) for three. Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan backstage; the Hulkster and Jimmy Hart are back together as a team on television for the first time since 1995. Hogan gets a pop because we’re in New York; it’s very smart to have babyface Hogan make big returns in this area of the continent, as I’ve said before. After a commercial break, Booker cuts an interview with Okerlund in which he refuses to get rid of his shitty new theme because it motivates him to move on to SuperBrawl and lose his middle initial, too. The KISS Demon exits his coffin while Tony S. promotes that KISS Farewell Tour that twiztor mentioned many posts ago when I questioned KISS’s popularity. Booker comes to the ring to the dopey “Leave it to Beaver” knockoff that honestly, I enjoyed more than the KISS song that played during the Demon’s entrance. Booker has zero trouble with the Demon, landing an axe kick; a SPINAROONIE, SPINAROONIE; and a spinebuster in about forty-five seconds for the victory. They’ve rolled Michael Buffer out of mothballs for the extremely unengaging double main event tonight. First up: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair. I get a kick out of the camera cutting away quickly first from a sign that has Hulk Hogan drawn on it wearing a bandana with the old-school WWF logo, then from a WWF Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy that someone else is waving around. The crowd is very into Hogan, and I am judging them for that. Flair does his heel shtick. You know the drill: Start out trying to match power with the larger babyface and failing, trying to chop the babyface and having him ignore it, begging off, yada yada yada, I do not care. At least the crowd is enjoying this paint-by-numbers heel Flair match. Flair attacks Hogan’s semi-recently surgically repaired knee as the crowd tries to fire Hogan up. The Nature Boy NUMBER TWOOOOO ([tm] the noticeably absent Scott Steiner) locks on a Figure Four, but Hogan fights out of it. Hogan ignores some more chops and makes a comeback. How can anyone enjoy either of these tired acts in this Year of Our Lord 2000? I mean, Flair’s act is at least interesting when it’s against someone new (against Rey or Benoit, for two examples). Hogan’s babyface act is what it is and wouldn’t be interesting until he added the whole “past-his-prime elite athlete” dimension to it in early aughts WWE. Anyway, Flair feigns a back injury when trying to lift Hogan, but Hogan gets backed off by ref Nick Patrick while raining punches on Flair in the corner. This allows Flair to load his fist and land a punch on Hogan; Jimmy Hart comes to the ring to complain about it and eats a Flair punch. Flair drops an elbow on Hogan and goes for the cover, but two, Hulk Up, big boot, ear cup, legdrop, and The Total Package runs in to spoil the cover. Hart hits Package with his cast, but Liz grabs his arm and Package jumps Hart while Flair beats up Hogan in the corner. Funk runs down, but puts the chair he’s carrying in the ring first before slowly rolling into the ring and very obviously getting hit with his own chair by Luger. Hogan fights off Package and Flair. Liz sets up a bat shot on Hogan, but he spots her, and she and the other two heels beg off. Funk fights Flair as Flair tries to leave ringside. Package jogs back out while Hogan celebrates and clobbers Hogan with a baseball bat, then Pillmanizes his arm before security can get back out there even though Package was standing there for like a good half-minute with the bat, just waiting for Hogan to quit cupping his ear and gesturing at the fans, and I saw Dellinger sitting there at ringside! The good news: The crowd was hot for this! The bad news: I think, and I mean this without any facetiousness, I’ve never in my life had such a different reaction to a match than the crowd on television did. It’s happened a couple times most recently with AEW matches where even the crowd’s clear love of what was happening in front of them did absolutely nothing at all to move me. I consider myself easily affected by hot crowds, and oftentimes, a hot crowd has helped me get into a match. It’s very rare that a hot crowd doesn’t at least move me in favor of the match that they’re hot for, but here’s my number one exception. This was all bad and, at least in this household, a boring and trite match and segment full of guys who I really don’t want to watch wrestle except for Funk and maybe Flair in certain matchups. Gene Okerlund interviews Sid backstage; Sid is amused by Jarrett’s machinations backfiring on him, gets his tongue tied, and exclaims WHOA WHOA…EXCUSE ME before collecting himself and moving right along. This guy is charming as hell, man. Sid is the best. This SuperBrawl promo includes footage of three members of the nWo who won’t be wrestling at SuperBrawl. Jeff Jarrett stalks to the ring alone, no Harris Boys in sight. I reiterate that Jarrett’s “Cowboy” knockoff is a far superior piece of music to “Cowboy” itself. I’m not sure I felt that way about any other WCW knockoffs. I do prefer Mr. Perfect’s “Exodus” knockoff to “Exodus” and Ric Flair’s “Also Sprach” knockoff from his 1991-1993 WWF run to the original “Sprach,” as an aside. Sid Vicious soon arrives on the scene. This match has little heat because the crowd burned themselves out on the previous segment, though Sid does get them fired up for punches in the corner. The thing about it is that no one gives a fuck about Jeff Jarrett as a topline heel. I can’t overstate how badly he’s failing in this role. Jarrett thinks he might have things won with a sleeper, but Sid fights up while I contemplate the WHERE’S SILVER KING? sign that some dude has been waving all night. A good six-minute match with Silver King in it would absolutely have made this show better. I digress. Sid lands a chokeslam and then Mickey FUCKING Jay is the worst kayfabe referee ever because he stands in front of Sid so that he can take a ref bump when Sid lifts Jarrett for a powerbomb and Jarrett’s feet hit him. What the fuck?! What the fuck is up with Jay having the worst positioning ever to take ridiculous ref bumps that no ref should EVER take in kayfabe? I’ve stopped giving a fuck. Jarrett tries a belt shot, can’t get a pinfall, taps out to a Sid crossface, and KABONGs Sid after Sid fights off the charging Harris Boys. Slick Johnson slides into the ring and counts a very quick three. I’m going to quote myself from a few reviews ago - Show #219 the night after Starrcade ’99, to be exact: I think we’ve reached a nadir in the watch that demands that I put up a number that’s a little out there. We haven’t reached “square root of infinity” or “NaN” levels of badness yet. But I think we need to establish that a show this bad, this full of terrible talking and angles, this void of redeemable pro wrestling matches, this committed to deeply stupid ideas about building feuds, will have to be surpassed in its badness on a meaningful level to be worse than this. I have full confidence that Russo and Ferrara or Russo and Bischoff can find a way to do that, but I’m setting the bar in hell and letting them travel all nine circles and dig under Satan’s cloven hooves besides to get there on the score. Congratulations Kevin Sullivan, Terry Taylor, and Ed Ferrara! You’ve done the devil’s work! Who knew that the underworld had an underworld of its own? -10,000,000,000 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

It still hasn't happened! It's got to be at some point in the next month or two, as Hogan and Flair are setting up a "who's really the best" feud right now that'll probably transition Hogan from TTP to Ric and free up Package for Sting or maybe the Funker as another stopgap feud before a Sting feud.

Therapy only works if you go in with the mindset that you need to change your life in fundamental ways and would like help figuring out how to do that. Does any of that sound like Ric Flair to you?

No Lance Storm yet, but agreed totally on Daffney, who is a favorite of mine for being so different in her presentation than almost everyone else in the company. Crowbar has that same advantage w/r/t presentation, plus he is a fun worker.

Oh shit, new Ghost of Tsushima game. TAKE ALL MY MONEY. I'm sorry, Ghost of Yotei, excuse me.

I don't know that I need Horizon Zero Dawn remaster, but the second time I played the game, I realized that it's one of my ten or twelve favorite ever, so I'll get it. LEGO Horizon Adventures first, though.

I wanted to like The Plucky Squire, but it is a very cool aesthetic wrapped around mediocre gameplay, unfortunately. It tries to be a little Typoman, a little A Link Between Worlds, and maybe there's other DNA of other games in there, but as much as I tried to stick with it, it wasn't happening. I am glad that it came with PS+ and that I didn't pay for it.

Kevin Nash must be extremely charming because he just floats on by without getting a quarter of the criticism Russo does for all of the same reasons that people criticize Russo. I had to cut off Bischoff's hyperventilating over Starrcade '99 and his admonitions about Russo's lowest common denominator television scaring off advertisers because, um, what does he think he was doing in the months before Russo even showed up letting Dennis Rodman and Randy Savage put on the type of feud that Russo would have loved (as one example).

Thunder Interlude – show number ninety-eight – 9 February 2000 "The WCW Gang is at times almost indistinguishable from aughts TNA" It’s on to another Thunder that is devoid of both a lot of big stars and a lot of the midcard that looked like they’d be big stars someday…I think WCW could have weathered the loss of the Radicalz okay if they weren’t missing Goldberg, Rey, Sting, and the Hitman all at the same time… Recap: Terry Funk and Arn Anderson were the saving grace of a bad Nitro…Ah, I’ll give Sid some love too…All he does is keep being a popular, easy-to-root for babyface…And while I’m a Jeff Jarrett fan, he’s just not a legit main eventer right now even with a bunch of guys out and space made for him to seize that spot… Jeff Jarrett and the Harris Boys arrive at the arena separately from Scott Hall… The Cruiserweight Championship tournament rolls on…Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan discuss it briefly, and by that, I mean Heenan completely ignores the brackets and talks about Scott Hall instead…We’ve had years of teased nWo splits, so Tenay and Heenan trying to sell another nWo split at this point is not exactly engaging me with the show's main storyline… This Cruiserweight Championship tournament is relegated to Thunder until the finals at SuperBrawl, just in case you were wondering how important the belt is…Shane Moore faces Lash LeRoux in the first of two semifinal matches left in this tourney…Lash poses against the guardrail like the discount Cajun Jericho that he is…Three Count holds him in place for a Moore springboard moonsault…Moore gets two off that right after the bell rings, then gets two more on a dancing legdrop…He gets out of a jam with a sunset flip that gets two more…Lash finally blocks a Moore wheelbarrow by buckle bonking the erstwhile Three Count member before taking over… LeRoux lands a Whiplash…Karagias distracts the ref while Helms hops in the ring and superkicks Lash…Lash survives a two-on-one attack from Helms and Moore, hits a double Bourbon Street Blues, knocks Karagias off the apron, and leaps over a charging Moore before rolling him up for three…Three Count attacks Lash after the bell, but Norman Smiley chases them off and reiterates his plan to fight all of Three Count at SuperBrawl…He calls Helms “Sugar,” the first time on television that nickname has been uttered for the future co-savior (at the death) of this poor old division. Matches for tonight’s show: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The KISS Demon…Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray…To Excess faces the Mamalukes…This show sounds wretched… You know, we’re only a little over thirteen months away from WCW being sold to Vince McMahon, and it strikes me that there are still like three more showrunner eras to get through before that happens…When I was a teenager, my brain was still developing and everything felt longer and drawn out…I’m realizing as an adult in middle age that all this shit happened incredibly quickly within WCW… Jeff Jarrett (w/Harris Boys) comes to the ring…Jarrett is just not good in this role…He’s simply not believable…Especially on nights when he’s standing next to the Messrs. Scott…He yammers on and on about his plans to become WCW World Heavyweight Champ…He books the Harris Boys against Sid and Terry Funk for later tonight…Before he can leave to the dulcet tones of “Rockhouse,” the Wolfpac theme hits…Scott Hall wrote his catchphrase down so he’d remember it this time…Hall thinks he's got the stroke, not Jarrett…Well, since he's about to get fired from WCW, I'm not sure he's quite correct!...Hall talks about their history in the WWF, blah blah, this is a zero of a mic battle…Hall reminds Jarrett that he’s only the acting commissioner, and that title is about expired because Kevin Nash is back on the job… Nash and some scantily-clad nurses pop up on the TurnerTron…Nash tries to be funny, but I’m over him being on my television, so I do not chuckle…He does relieve Jarrett of his “acting” label… Jeff Jarrett “Slapnuts” Count: 2, and an extra one from Kevin Nash to Jarrett besides…Nash quotes Ben Parker while rambling on about how he’s going to punish Jarrett…Rather than covering Jarrett in barbecue sauce and tossing him in a padded cell with Meng or sticking him on an island with Larry Z. to live through Larry’s territory days stories, Nash decides to make a match…Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett later tonight for the title shot at SuperBrawl…Hall takes a survey in which he asks whether the crowd is here for the Outsiders or Jeff Jarrett…I think you know who wins this survey… After a break, Jarrett and the Harrises throw a tantrum backstage… Bam Bam Bigelow has a plundah-fest with the KISS Demon…Or not, actually…The Demon steps out of his casket, poses with his head down, and is immediately laid out by a single kendo stick shot that gets three…I love that WCW signed this licensing deal and then just jobbed out the guy after paying all that money…Knobbs tries to attack Bam Bam after the match, but he fails miserably… Okerlund interviews Sid and Terry Funk in the back…I think Sid and Funk tagging on a random Thunder constitutes a WCW-ass WCW matchup, even if it’s against the completely shitty Harrises…Sid bigs up Funk…Funk threatens Ric Flair…He's got someone at this show who has beef with Flair, he says... J. Biggs says that Booker is still in jail, so Stevie has nothing to worry about tonight…Big T. immediately decides that he’s gonna go eat since he won’t need to watch Stevie’s back…I mean, is there a point to making the obvious quip?...Big T.’s out here putting them on tees for me… Stevie Ray (w/J. Biggs) comes to the ring after the break…Is it weird that Kanyon just fucking disappeared from television and Biggs glommed on to Stevie?...I think it’s weird…Kanyon is a very useful midcard talent right now, so if he’s not hurt or shooting another movie, then I don’t get why he's off television…Anyway, Stevie and Booker are going to wrestle over the letter “T” at SuperBrawl because Kevin Sullivan and Terry Taylor are hopeless idiots…Booker storms to the ring when his nonsensical music hits…Midnight tries to stop him, so he angrily points her to the back…Booker gets a mic and says that he’ll settle things with Stevie later because he has words and also probably ass whoopings for J. Biggs…Stevie tries to stop Booker, but gets his ass kicked…Booker manhandles Biggs, grabs a chair, and pops Stevie with it as Stevie lumbers up from behind…Booker storms away after all that…Good to see this company continue to utilize the over midcarders it still possesses in such an effective way!... Hall and Nash chat about executive matters over the phone…Nash claims that Jarrett spent fifty-seven grand on guitars and they riff in an unfunny manner before Nash asks about the whole Knobbs/TTP deal from a couple of Nitros ago…Nash says “let’s have some fun tonight,” and Hall makes me laugh for the first time all show by quipping, “That’d be different”…It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true!...Nash books Finlay against TTP for the fuck of it…They move on to a discussion about Hulk Hogan being back in the company before we finally cut away… Ric Flair rants at Gene Okerlund backstage…Ric doesn’t think much of Hulk Hogan…Okerlund tries to refocus Ric on Terry Funk…Funk said something about bringing someone to this show who has problems with Ric, remember…Let me guess, is it Dopey Dave?...Ric cuts a crazed promo in which he WOOs a lot…The crowd wants to cheer for him, but dammit, he’s going to try to be a heel!...You know, YAPAPI hasn’t happened yet, either…And Hogan’s in the red-and-yellow when he serves up THE STRAPATION, DUDES…So I guess that mention of Hogan from Ric is probably leading us there, especially considering how little time Hogan has left in this company…Then again, WCW is almost dead, so almost everyone has very little time left in the company... Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) and Crowbar (w/Daffney) fight because, uh, Crowbar stans the sorry-ass KISS Demon…WCW, everybody!...This match is acceptable…The fight goes outside almost immediately…Crowbar hits a Vader Bomb off the railing and onto a prone Kidman on the mats…Well, that was a cool spot for this nothing television match…Back in the ring, Kidman dropkicks Crowbar on a diving double-axe attempt…A Kidman rebound bulldog gets two…We get a shot of Torrie that causes us to miss Crowbar somehow grabbing Kidman and sticking him with a DDT…This is a taped show!...Do better at editing this nonsense!...Kidman gets two on a Sky High…He tries an Irish Whip, but gets reversed and caught and dumped on a leapover… Crowbar lands a slingshot legdrop for two…A Northern Lights with a bridge doesn’t even get a count because Torrie is talking to the ref on the apron…Crowbar goes for the pipe, but Kidman wrenches it away, pops Crowbar in the ankle with it as Crowbar stands on the top rope, and follows with a Latino Frankensteiner for three…I just miss Rey Misterio Jr., honestly, is all that finish makes me realize…Crowbar bashes himself into the ring stairs in penance for losing…Cmon, Crowbar, if you want to be world champ someday, you should do hundreds of hindu squats every time you fuck up instead…That’s what really builds character… WCW television matches are longer than they were when Russo was around, but not that much longer…Again, there’s a sweet spot for television matches that WCW TV matches often meandered past, but now WCW is rushing these matches even though they’re a minute or three longer than they were… Sid Vicious and Terry Funk hook it up with the Harris Boys (w/Jeff Jarrett)…Sid and Funk’s recent doings on Nitro get recapped during the entrances…I have to say that Crush and Horace Hogan coming to the ring to “Rockhouse” is actually a better use of “Rockhouse” than having the Harris Boys come to the ring while it plays…Jarrett gets on commentary and claims to be the real commissioner…These Harrises are a black hole…Just awful…Safe workers, at least, but awful…Sid is undeniably over, though…Funk ends up piledriving one Harris Boy on concrete…He gets a table and sets it up while the other Harris tangles with Sid on the other side of the ring…Funk goes up to moonsault onto Ra/oD and Jarrett gets up and pops him with his guitar…Sid chases Jarrett to the back…Da/oR pins Funk for three…Then he pulls up his pants and looks like a dork while doing it… Ric Flair yells a stream of nuttiness at a theoretically off-camera The Total Package…He wants to help TTP take Hulk Hogan out on Nitro, but in exchange would appreciate it if Package could break Funk’s arm…I don’t give a shit… SuperBrawl X looks like it will follow Souled Out 2000 in challenging BatB ’99 for the title of “Worst WCW PPV,” or at the very least “Worst Nitro-Era WCW PPV” if you disagree with me that GAB ’91 is better than BatB ’99… The Total Package and Liz come to the ring as Tenay questions whether or not Flair was actually rambling at an oddly silent TTP…Package uses the word “unison” incorrectly…I think he meant “union,” as in he and Flair are forming one against Hogan…He does claim that Flair is his protégé, which is pretty funny…After Package is done doing some rambling of his own, Fit Finlay jogs down to fight him…Finlay goes at Package’s left arm in a bit of karma…Liz tries to sneak up on Fit, and he snarls at her as she quickly backs away…Finlay is out here doing the Lord’s work to make this an interesting match, as short as it is…He runs the ropes and Liz tags him in the leg with a baseball bat…Package takes the bat and, though he loses the match by DQ, he gets some rage out by tagging Finlay with the bat and then Pillmanizing his arm…TTP leaves and Knobbs runs down and slams Finlay’s hurt arm against the apron, then cackles… To Excess insist on interviewing with Okerlund in the back…Lenny says NIZ-ZAME…Then he says RIZ-ZATS…I am so bummed about this team… Speaking of being bummed about shitty tag teams that I really wish weren’t on television, here come the Mamalukes (w/Disco Inferno)…To Excess jump them in the aisle…What if, instead of this shit, we simply pushed Three Count?...That would rule…I could be watching Three Count right now instead…Miss Hancock rushes her way to ringside, takes her hair out of a bun, and then slaps a piece of paper on the commentary desk before rushing off again…Commentary can’t tell what the paper says…This match is so void of heat, you’d think it was being held on Pluto…Lodi crashes into Disco while running the ropes and stumbles forward into a Paisan Plunge or whatever the fuck for three…Crowbar and Daffney hide in the aisle, then sneak down and attack Disco with the lead pipe…Daffney picks up the tag belts that Disco was holding and beats a hasty retreat while still in possession of them… Hey, it’s the Cat!...I guess that at some point, the Cat claimed that he would bring James Brown to this show with him…I think the editors at the Network cut his previous interview with Okerlund in which he claimed that he’d bring Brown with him from the last Thunder…He says Brown will definitely be there with him on Nitro…Then, he gets this Thunder into one of my good lists by making Okerlund crack…Okerlund, disbelieving Cat’s claims: “Thank goodness you don’t sell used cars”…The Cat, irritated: “I tell you what, I can sell my foot to your ass”…Okerlund: *snorts, tries to hold it in, cracks up and makes the Cat and the crowd start laughing too*…I love the Cat…That dude is legit hilarious…I cannot wait for him to be the first good commissioner this company has had in the whole Nitro Era… Ric Flair hits the ring to prattle on at Gene Okerlund…He’s angry about being disrespected by the sports media…He does make me chuckle by complaining that ESPN rated Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan over him in a ranking of athletes…Specifically, he makes me chuckle by yelling STUART SCOTT, WAKE UP…R.I.P. to one of the great non-Dan Patrick, non-Keith Olbermann Sportscenter anchors…Stu and Linda Cohn were on that second tier of SportsCenter anchors after those two, IMO…Flair has a WCW Magazine, which he tears up because it ranked Hogan over him in a list of greatest WCW wrestlers… Hey, Dustin Rhodes is still in this company!...I guess the Funker went and collected the guy, who has been off television for weeks since Jeff Jarrett beat him at Starrcade, and now he’s back on television out of nowhere…Dustin lectures Ric for ABANDONING HIS CHILD…ABANDONING HIS BOY…Dustin says that Dopey Dave is more of a man than his pops…Dustin says that he should have kicked Dusty’s ass, but since Dusty's fired and Dustin needs a neglectful father's ass to kick, he’ll kick Ric’s instead…Flair doesn’t respect dudes that weren’t main eventers, and he attacks Dustin and pretty much gets steamrolled…There’s an impromptu match, and shortly after that, there’s a ref bump…Dustin lands a bulldog and counts his own three…He goes after Flair again and gets forearmed in the balls…Dustin blocks a kneedrop, holds onto Flair’s leg, and locks on a Figure Four…Flair uses his Rolex as knucks and punches Dustin in the face with it to get out of the hold; then, he quickly covers for three… This aftermath of the segment/match is a pointless mess…Flair KOs Charles Robinson with no remorse, like Robinson didn’t used to be his trusty VP…Funk runs down and attacks Flair…TTP runs down and attacks Funk…None of this is remotely of interest to me… Nash orders Japanese food and then settles back to watch this main event… Jeff Jarrett (w/Harris Boys) faces Scott Hall for number one contendership to the WCW World Heavyweight Championship at SuperBrawl…Hall dominates early, crotch chops the Harris Boys, and goes back to beating up Jarrett…He sets up for a Razor’s Edge in a nonsensical area of the ring just so he can get backdropped to the floor…The Harrises cheat liberally to support Jarrett…I guess this moral and physical support of Jarrett is what got them jobs in TNA both on camera and in production for years…Jarrett locks on a sleeper…This spot goes on for a bit, but Hall gets out of it with a back suplex…There’s a standing ten count, but Jarrett crawls over to Hall at the count of seven and gets two on a cover…Jarrett tries to out-punch Hall and loses…He tries to run the ropes and leaps into a fallaway slam…Hall looks for another Razor’s Edge and Mickey Jay walks right up to Jarrett’s boot so he can take a ref bump…*sigh*…Why would a seasoned referee ever walk himself that close to the wrestlers during a Razor's Edge attempt?…This finish gets dumber by the second, as Jarrett jumps Hall and hits a Stroke…Slick Johnson runs down and counts a quick three…Mickey Jay gets back up and restarts the match for some reason…Jarrett gets a microphone and hits Hall with it…That only gets 2.7…He and Ra/oD try to team up on a move, but Hall ducks out of the way…Da/oR gives the U.S. title to Jarrett, but Jarrett whiffs on a belt shot…Hall gets the title and clocks Jarrett with it for one, two, and Slick Johnson pulls Mickey Jay out of the ring…Hall hits Slick with a Razor’s Edge while Sid storms down and powerbombs Jarrett…The bell rings wildly as this match ends in an apparent no contest… Welp, I think I know where Jeff Jarrett got all these insanely stupid ideas for overbooking every main event he could in TNA…Other than Ernest Miller getting Gene Okerlund to corpse among another couple of amusing moments, this show was once again a chore to watch, even if I at least derived joy from writing about the inept booking…OWWWWW…