SirSmUgly

People are just too fuckin' online, which really is where the "mindless zombie fan" stuff originates. Well, except for DVDVR. This place isn't just the exception online, it is better described as exceptional.

Though the first one of those I saw was Kidman/Madusa vs. Franchise/Torrie, and uh, Kidman's bg bump through the gimmicked stage wasn't all that spectacular. On reflection though, I'd rather watch a wrestler dive onto some crashpads than have a ladder match. As body slams are the most painful move to take with the least benefit of popping the crowd, ladder matches are the most painful matches with the least benefit of popping the crowd, I'd think. Maybe an actual worker who posts here can tell me if I'm off with that take.

Fair, but they also booed Hogan. I guess the point is, to quote the great Syko Sid Vicious, I don't know shit.

Liz appeared into the back end of the Ruschoff Era, but eventually, she left television. Probably that's because frankly, Russo booked her in a creepy manner. In fairness to the team at EA who chose the roster, Savage's contract ran out in November of 1999 and his 2000 appearance was a one-off that wasn't followed up on because he and WCW tried and failed once again to come to an agreement. After Savage's win over Dennis Rodman at Road Wild '99, he only shows up twice in one-off appearances, one in October of 1999 on Nitro and then that May 2000 appearance. On that note, and considering how rapid the production of games were at this time, it makes sense that they wouldn't have him on the final roster. This match is a perfectly fine six-minute C-show match, but I particularly have to give props to the clever sign about the poor Canadian exchange rate driving down the value of (cruiserweight) gold. Hey, an actual clever fan sign!

Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and forty-two – 3 January 2001 "The WCW Gang enters 2001 looking to creatively consolidate around a handful of strong heels" WCW Worldwide still exists as a going concern in the year 2001, but does it have fresh matches, or does it mostly replay stuff from Nitro and Thunder and the occasional older match from JCP/WCW?...I looked ahead at a couple of results reports and that’s what seems to be the show’s format…This is strictly a Nitro/Thunder/PPV/Clash review from the Nitro Era, but I also don’t want to miss AJ Styles/Air Paris/Jason Jett/anyone else who randomly pops up in the last three months that WCW exists under the Turner banner… One more thing before we Thunderrrrrrrr on into 2001…Here are our final title change counts for the year 2000… WCW World Heavyweight Championship title change count: 25 (Hitman > VACANT > Benoit > VACANT > Sid > Nash > Sid > VACANT > Jarrett > DDP > Arquette > Jarrett > Ric Flair > Jarrett > Nash > Flair > Jarrett > Hulk Hogan > Jarrett > Booker > Nash > Booker > Russo > VACANT > Booker > Scott Steiner) WCW United States Championship title change count: 9 (Jarrett > VACANT > Jarrett > VACANT > Scott Steiner > VACANT > Storm > Rection > Storm > Rection) WCW World Tag Team Championship title change count: 17 (VACANT > David Flair and Crowbar > The Mamalukes > The Harris Bros. > VACANT > Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas > KroniK > The Perfect Event > KroniK > Vampiro and Great Muta > Rey Misterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera > VACANT > Jindrak and O’Haire > Boogie Knights > The Perfect Event > The Insiders > The Perfect Event > The Insiders)… WCW World Cruiserweight Championship title change count: 12 (Madusa > Oklahoma > VACANT > TAFKAPI > VACANT > Candido > Daffney and Crowbar > Daffney > Chavo Jr. > Lance Storm > Skipper > Sanders > Chavo Jr.)… I think it says something here that the United States Championship was both a) by far the best booked major title in the company, and b) didn’t have anyone win the belt directly from anyone else until about ten months into the year… I have, lined up from best to worst, these as the best and worst booked belts in 2000 WCW…United States Championship, World Cruiserweight Championship, World Heavyweight Championship, World Tag Team Championship…When a third of the title changes are either via vacancies, title strips, a team simply stealing the belts after winning a match that was not announced as a tag title match, or winning the belts in a team battle royal, I mean, come on…As bad as the big gold belt was treated, it at least ended the year within a period of stability… Okay, now let’s Thunderrrrrrr… Lance Storm is excited about subtracting Jim Duggan and adding Mike Awesome to Team Canada, and understandably so, in our cold open…He excitedly tells Skipper and Gunns to follow him because Awesome said that he had a surprise for them…The surprise, as we see, is that Awesome got his old ‘70s party bus repainted in the red-and-white colors of the Canadian flag…The rest of Team Canada thinks the bus is rad… And now we go to the typical Thunder opening roll…It’s cut off toward the end so that Tony S. can hype the year 2001 for WCW…CEO Ric Flair soon opens the show once more…We’re three shows from Sin, so let’s see how Flair builds the show to drive us toward that card… The CEO hypes the tag match at Sin as a career-threatening match for Goldberg because “that’s the way Bill Goldberg wanted it”…No, that’s the way Vince Russo wanted it…Flair misspeaks and says that Scott Steiner will defend the title against Jeff Jarrett “and a mystery partner,” which Tony S. quickly corrects as “mystery opponent”…Flair announces that Steiner has been suspended for the past two weeks ending tonight. Considering the holiday break, Steiner is only actually missing this show because he didn’t want to fly in for a Thunder recording is out of control!... Why is Jeff Jarrett so aggy as he walks out here?...Oh, he’s just tired of Scotty Steiner asking him about the mystery man all the time…Jarrett points out that he’d like to know too, considering he’s also in the world title match at Sin, and then threatens CEO Flair with a KABONGing if he doesn’t reveal who it is…Flair is incredulous that Jarrett is bold enough to threaten him, and when Jarrett clarifies that he is, Flair books him in the Thunder main event with the stipulation that he’s out of the Sin main event if he loses…His opponent?...Syko Sid Vicious…OK, this is making more sense now…So the masked man was always Animal, the fix is in to screw whoever Steiner’s other opponent at Sin was, and we’re going to switch Jarrett for Sid tonight… OK, so Flair says that he's decided that he owes Sid a chance to win the spot at Sin because if we go to the tape, we’ll see that Sid scored a visual three count on Steiner at Starrcade that wasn’t counted…True…Flair makes it clear that if Jarrett doesn’t wrestle Sid, he’s as out of the main event as if he lost it…Memphis finishes Sid’s King Parsons-inspired catchphrase for him…It’s strange that we took such a circuitous route to Steiner/Sid II, but okay… One thing I’ll say about the “Better Build Some Homegrown Stars, Whoops, Too Late” Era, or the BBSHSWTL Era going forward (let’s see if I ever use that acronym again) is that while the booking is markedly better than it has been for two years, it’s not exactly good…It’s fine, and most of it is more straightforward than it has been, which is a positive thing considering what we got out of the booking through two Russo eras and an interstitial era that mostly aped the Russo eras, but was even worse…However, it’s a bit convoluted, still, and this weird main event deal with Road Warrior Animal as the mystery man, Sid replacing Jarrett, and yet another pointless heel turn for Ric Flair is a perfect example of that… What this era signals to me is that building a hot heel and anchoring your division around them to eventually get over a babyface challenger works really well to patch over flaws in the booking…Scott Steiner is doing that right now, and I would go so far as to say that Booker T.'s victory over him on the final Nitro, as abbreviated as the match was, did more to get him over as a legit main eventer than anything else he did in WCW…That victory, combined with his attack on Steve Austin when he debuted in the WWF, meant more than even Kevin Nash blading in a cage to try and help establish him…And I could be wrong about this, but Shane Helms is going to feel like a legitimate rising star simply because they stuck the cruiserweight belt on Chavo Jr. for a couple of months and made him chase the competent heel… The one thing that WCW simply never had from the Russo-Ferrara Era through the Russo Endgame Period was a set of strong heel champions to anchor their shows around...And I’d say that in 1999, they had DDP and CEO President Ric Flair as those heels, which I know I’ve parroted too much…In 2000, there wasn’t really anybody unless they'd have stuck with the Goldberg heel turn and had him kill guys off until they put Steiner over him or something… Shane Helms, speaking of, opens the wrestling on this show…Helms cracks me up (and makes Billy Silverman laugh) by going over to the ref and demanding a consistent count as Jamie (K)noble walks to the ring to oppose him…They have a spirited affair with a lot of pace…What I didn’t expect was for Helms to still be heeling…The part where he’s got some dancing ladies with him while a song with the chorus VERTEBREAKERRRRR plays in the background is mostly what I remember about him from this time…Or at least, that’s the picture I have of Helms in my head from 2001 WCW... Tenay and Stevie argue over whether a Noble victory should change who gets the title shot at Sin…Meanwhile, control flips back and forth between the two in the ring…Ooh, Helms puts on a weird version of a chickenwing…It’s a standing one…Neat spot…Noble turns it into a backslide for two…They reverse their way through moves until Noble gets a Northern Lights with a bridge for two…Noble tries another one, but Helms sees it coming, escapes, and twists Noble into a Vertebreaker…He follows up with an individual Nightmare on Helms Street for three…That last move is duplicate to a Final Cut… Evan Karagias hits the ring after the match and attacks Helms, but Shannon Moore runs in for the save…Noble recovers and grabs Moore, then hits him with a jumping Tombstone…By this time Helms has recovered, and he puts Noble in place for another Nightmare on Helms Street…Chavo Jr. has been patiently waiting to pick his spot…He sprints to the ring and drills Helms square between the eyes with his title belt…Fun match (and aftermath) worth watching on YouTube…And our first match to hit a good list this year…It only took the first match of the first show to do it, hooray!... Elix Skipper, still upset over his loss to Konnan last Thunder, gets all up in Konnan’s face…Thet two trash talk one another before Skipper shoves Konnan and runs away, leading Konnan around the corner and right into a waiting Awesome for a beatdown…Skipper then asks Awesome for the keys to the Canada Bus…Awesome gladly hands them over… Is this a four-man or a six-man tag match coming up?...The desk doesn’t know…Commissioner Sanders lets us know that Nash and Page also didn’t want to come to a post-holiday Thunder taping,but under the guise that he gave them time off or fucked with their airline tickets or something…The idea here is that the Thrillers surround A-WALL and Cajun before the match, but we don’t know which two will be wrestling them until O’Haire and Palumbo are the ones to attack while Stasiak and Jindrak drop to the floor…The match that follows is decent…A-WALL does his best, but he turns right into a Jungle Kick that knocks him to the floor…An aggravated Rection yells YA GOT TWO GUYS IN THE RING at ref Charles Robinson, but Palumbo clears out after pulling Cajun into position for an O’Haire Seanton Bomb that gets three…The Animals attack the Misfits after the match…Chavo Jr. comes out to help save the Misfits…Shane Douglas came from the crowd at one point…Chavo seizes a chair and finally gets the other heels to back off…I am genuinely interested in seeing whether Chavo is able to peel Lash and TW,B away from Rection… Konnan laments getting played for a sucker as he sits with the rest of the Filthy Animals backstage…Rey suggests that they figure out a plan for revenge…After a commercial break, Rey comes back with a bag of “sticky icky,” but it’s not going to be weed, is it?...It’ll be, like, marmalade or marshmallow fluff or something…If it were weed, KroniK would probably have been drawn to it like moths to a flame…The Animals walk off to execute their plan… Crowbar (w/Daffney, who is w/sparklers and GOT PYRO? t-shirt) wrestles a…*sigh*…Steel Chair on a Pole bout against THA MONSTA MENG (w/Paisley)…I better get my final THA MONSTA MENGs in before he’s DA HARROWING HAKU on another show and another channel…Stevie Ray is extremely physically attracted to pop star P!nk, if you were wondering…Don’t ask, just trust me that his comment makes sense in context…Vince Russo leaving these shows with a) a dumb Goldberg nu-Streak angle, b) a tradition of On a Pole matches, and c) a group of referees who blatantly allow illegal nonsense right in front of their faces sometimes (but not all the time) is like a dog who craps in your bedroom, then drags his ass down the hallway, through your living room, and outside the door before leaving your house having stolen the expensive beef from your freezer… Anyway, Crowbar gets the chair, but it doesn’t come into play for a bit because Meng hits him with an Electric Chair Drop from there…And then, extremely pointlessly, Crowbar uses a second chair, just sitting at ringside, to choke Meng out…OK, so why even have a chair on a pole if any chair can be used without penalty…Meng does take a pretty sweet header into the ring steps at one point, though…Paisley and Daffney fight over the, uh, legal chair?...Paisley wins it, but Crowbar yanks it away…Paisley and Daffney go at it while Meng gets the chair and sets it up, seat out, on the top buckle…This is such a strange match…Crowbar charges Meng and gets boosted head-first into the chair instead…Meng locks on a Tongan Death Grip immediately after that to earn the victory…Well, it was dumb, but I didn’t hate it… A pacing Jeff Jarrett tries to figure out a plan for his match against Sid later tonight… Mark Jindrak gets slaughtered by Goldberg…Goldberg catches Jindrak on a springboard crossbody attempt and powerslams him before it’s all SPEAR, JACKHAMMER, SPLAT…Goldberg is fun to watch, but they’ve got him back in weekly squash mode after having had him in that mode for the first two years of his career…He’s spinning his wheels, and he’s one of the three or four biggest stars in the business…Memphis is pretty subdued for his act, as one example…Goldberg briefly speaks after the match…Mostly, it’s about his plans to put Luger and Bagwell out of pro wrestling at Sin… We’re back from break, and down the ramp walks the Cat (w/the lovely Ms. Jones)…He doesn’t want Reno as his opponent, but rather Mike Sanders…He tells Reno to get out of here “before I call my mama,” but Reno proceeds to attack him when he turns his back…Ms. Jones whiffs on a roundhouse kick to Reno on the floor, but it distracts him enough that the Cat can jump him…Still, Reno takes over back in the ring, though his staid offense isn’t enough to put the Cat away…He has to rake the Cat’s eyes to kill a comeback, but the Cat reverses a whip into the corner and catches Reno with a Feliner on the rebound for three…Ms. Jones has chaps on, and honestly, this particular post-match dance segment is burned into my brain because when I saw it as a teen, I vividly remember drooling over her on this exact show…Anyway, the Cat declares that he will, ahem “eat [Mike Sanders’s] ass like a pot of collard greens”…Wow, the Cat legit eats the booty like groceries, I guess…Good for him being so confident and open about what he likes!... Another thing about these most recent Thunder episodes on the network – and a lot of the recent Nitro ones – is that ads aren’t cut into them…We cut to what would have been an advertisement break, but we just come right back to the next segment of the show…So, after a few ghost ads, the Cat and Ms. Jones walk into a meeting with CEO Ric Flair… Team Canada joins us, is serious for a minute…Lance Storm threatens Jim Duggan over Duggan jumping Elix Skipper…Uh, when did that happen?...Was that this show?...We’ll find out when we explore what the morons at the WWE Network cut from this episode of Thunder, I suppose…Awesome calls Duggan a “weak old man” and then demands his presence for a career killing the likes of which we’ve never seen… Duggan gets out here and gets too much offense in…Look, whether you’re personally a fan of Mike Awesome or not, you have to admit that there was no point at which he was booked reasonably in this WCW run…Stevie is upset about Scott James’s reffing, but it’s not James's fault that the Russo directive (both kayfabe and shoot) to just let guys kick each other in the balls in plain sight of the official is still in effect…It takes a Team Canada distraction to allow Awesome to land a chop block and a top-rope splash for three…They stomp Duggan out after the match…The Filthy Animals aren’t too blazed to chase Team Canada away, though!...Konnan informs the retreating Team Canada that they have a surprise for them…We see that the bus has been tagged by Awesome’s opps…Again…I’m not going back to look for the episode number, but Vampiro and the ICP already did this… Someone let a Gene Okerlund interview slip through the cracks…He interviews an angry Team Canada in front of the bus…Storm challenges the Filthy Animals to a tag match at Sin…I do get a kick out of Awesome wailing that he “spent all day painting this bus"… Next up: A Marcus Bagwell/Buddy Lee Parker Buff Bagwell/Sarge match…Is this 1993 or something?...Buff survives an initial Sarge flurry and controls until he dives into Sarge’s knees on a splash attempt…Sarge’s comeback is cut off, and after Buff lays his opponent out with a double-arm DDT, he waves Lex Luger (w/chair) out…On the TurnerTron, the audience is able to see KroniK jump Goldberg as Goldberg leaves his dressing room to make a save…They dump him in a trunk and force the forklift guy to cart him on outta the arena…Apparently, this was set up by an earlier segment that we didn’t see on this Network recording on account of the morons…Luger and Buff destroy Sarge…Luger even takes the time to Pillmanize Sarge’s arm like it was early 2000 all over again… After some ghost ads, medics try to help an enraged and hurt Sarge with his wrist… Before we get to our main event, it’s time for…This week in stuff the morons at the WWE Network cut from this episode of Thunder: CEO Ric Flair, displeased about Commissioner Mike Sanders screwing with Nash and Page’s rental car reservation, gives the commissioner a dressing down…Meanwhile, Sanders gives Reno an opponent he thinks is an easy mark in the Cat…Gene Okerlund interviews Crowbar and Daffney about Crowbar's upcoming bouts with Terry Funk (at Sin) and Meng (tonight)…The Cat threatens both Reno and Mike Sanders in an interview with Mean Gene…Someone’s laid out the Harris Bros., and Jeff Jarrett isn’t happy about it (but I am)…Shane Douglas and Gene Okerlund chat about what will be a Chain on a Title on a Pole Match between Douglas and Rection at Sin…Yuck…Who booked this crap?...Is Vince Russo still faxing the office his ideas?...Anyway, Rection attacked Douglas at the end of that segment… More of This week in stuff the morons at the WWE Network cut from this episode of Thunder: Jim Duggan enters the bus to attack a singing Elix Skipper (he was singing his own theme; this would have been a funny spot, I’m sure)…Johnny the Bull, Big Vito, and the Cat talk about how much they think Reno STINKS…Totally Buff taunts Sarge in an interview with Okerlund…CEO Flair books Jindrak in a surprise match after they’ve all kicked the shit out of the Misfits, and he bans the other Thrillers from ringside for the rest of the night, to boot…Sid promos with Gene Okerlund, targets Jeff Jarrett…CEO Flair, uh, comes to an agreement with Totally Buff, which I guess would be teasing the heel turn?...Jeff Jarrett promos with Gene Okerlund, targets Sid Vicious…Totally Buff next cuts a deal with KroniK… Alright, now let’s do our main event thing…Jeff Jarrett walks to the ring as we review Jarrett’s win over Lance Storm to gain entrance into the Sin main event…Jarrett insists on talking…Jeff Jarrett “Slapnuts/Slapass” Count: Two…Boy, this guy talks and talks and talks…He basically tells the Mystery Man to consider his actions should he intervene in the main event… Before Sid makes it to the ring, we get one more segment…The Thrillers prepare to get in their limo and leave, but the Insiders pop out and swing weapons until they’re all laid out…OK, after a few ghost ads, we’re back…This is a five-minute WCW special…It starts with an obligabrawl, to my point…There’s a match, but as I have been trained to wait for fuckery in Nitro and Thunder main events, none of it engages me…Sid fights up from a sleeper and goes lariat, big boot, chokeslam attempt…Jarrett pokes him in the eye and hits the ropes, but he runs back into a boot and a powerbomb attempt…That attempt is stopped by a Mystery Man, who helps Jarrett beat down Sid as the ref calls for the bell…However, this particular Mystery Man is not THE Mystery Man, but is Scott Steiner in disguise…Aw, look, he traveled to a solo Thunder show after all!…So did the Insiders, for that matter...Those spots they popped up in on the show were actual surprises simply because I assumed these three really did take this show off... This show wasn’t great, but it stays on the good side of the ledger for being generally inoffensive and having a fun opener…WOO…

Seems like a risky move considering their main audience is different in demographic from UFC's. But what the hell do I know?

I've noticed that. If you talk to someone fifty or older who grew up in Portland, Vancouver (WA), Beaverton, Milwaukie, etc., they basically think Piper and Buddy Rose are the greatest wrestlers ever. It's pretty awesome, honestly, that if I wear the lavender Savage shirt, I'll get a reaction from a random person more often than not, almost always older than me. As bad as wrestling shirts usually are in terms of design, the right ones can spark a small, but instant connection with strangers, especially in certain parts of the continent.

Not quite, and one of my regrets is that I wasn't born soon enough to go to a show with my grandma, who used to go when they'd venture up this way in the '60s and '70s.

Nope, I'm farther north than that, which is the only thing I'll say publicly - though I didn't go to high school in this state. I only mostly grew up here and then got back here as soon as I could!

I grew up in that SeaTac I-5 corridor, let's say, but not in the actual town of SeaTac.

The Bellingham M's were the Mariners' farm team and the Tacoma Tigers were the A's farm team. Watching Tigers games as a very young kid were the only times I saw Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco in person.

Are you old enough to remember when they were the Tacoma Tigers or am I the only one here that ancient?

The best thing about a minor league game is that you can keep a scorecard and read a paperback during all the down time. Though when I go to the odd Mariners game, I pretty much do that too on account of they suck.

WORST FEUDS This list has had eighteen (18) additions since the end of 1999!

BEST FEUDS This list has had zero (0) additions since the end of 1999!

THE ABSOLUTE DIRT WORST This list being this long is a genuine bummer. I mean, how does one company have this many awful misses creatively?

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS DUMB (BUT ENTERTAINING) MOMENTS Hulk Hogan and Vampiro are two of the most unintentionally funny people ever.

Promos, Spots, and Skits that Aren’t Quite HOLY SHIT MOMENTS that Are Worth Watching/Adding to Your Playlist WCW just isn't a promo or skit company, which really hurt it as it tried to match the WWF at the WWF's strength and failed miserably.

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS CLASSIC Promos, Spots, and Skits Very few additions here, but two things: One, WCW stumbled into a satisfying reveal of who impregnated Ms. Hancock, and then they dropped it anyway. Two, Bret Hart should be considered one of the elite worked-shoot promo guys in wrestling. CM Punk wishes that he could cut worked-shoot promos half as good as the Hitman does.

Charming Uniquities WCW was not very charming in 2000, which is a sign that not only were the wrestling matches not long enough or eclectic enough in talent matchups to get interesting matches, but also that the matches built around angles were failing. That last part was mostly because the lion's share of WCW's angles this year were flaming basura. On the flip side, Terry Funk/David Flair might haev been the best angle-focused match on this list overall, which is especially impressive as it came in the worst three-month run of creative that I've seen this whole watchthrough.

Very Good (and Sometimes Pretty Great) TV and PPV Matches that Make Entertaining Candidates for a Nitro-era Playlist on YouTube Two observations. First, Thunder has been the better show for wrestling matches since 1998. Second, the infusion of young talent - including from the Power Plant - helped add to this list, especially in the second half of the year. As much as the Power Plant gets (deserved) mockery, it did bear fruit outside of Goldberg as the company started to wind down.

It's time for our end-of-year updates! First: SmUgs’s Standouts – My Favorite Matches This list didn't change very much! Only one match was added since last year, but at least it's a top-level PPV opener.

Thunder Interlude – show number one hundred and forty-one – 20 December 2000 "The WCW Gang ends their dreadful year by producing a moderate success for a show" With the exception of the Ruschoff Era Reboot review shows, I have skipped all year-end review shows in this series (and have not added them to the number count when I number the shows), so this is the last show of the year for 2000 WCW, a year that absolutely killed off WCW in every way possible…I like watching good wrestling shows, but a project that I’m going to get to in maybe three or four years will be a 1991 WCW Yearbook, with the underlying theme being a comparison between it and 2000 WCW to truly figure out which was the nadir for WCW programming…But there are a couple of other projects (and some time away from WCW overall) to get to before that…And before even that, we have to get to 2001 WCW in this series…So howsabout we Thunder?... CEO Ric Flair loves his pre-show addresses…He runs down the card, much of which was made on Nitro in a shocking amount of pre-planning for this company post-1997…It’s a tag team number one contendership battle royal…Shane Douglas and KroniK vs. the Misfits in Action in trios tag action…And Scott Steiner with another defense of his world title, though CEO Flair is not revealing who it is yet…CEO Flair also promises to reveal Goldberg’s opponent(s) at Sin and an appearance from his mystery dude… Thunder’s opening, which is slightly less ugly than Nitro’s, is up next… Chavo Guerrero Jr. defends his WCW World Cruiserweight Championship against Jamie (K)noble in the opener…I absolutely love that Chavo’s now using Eddy’s theme…Chavo Jr. slaps a few hands before realizing that he’s supposed to be heeling…Aw, nice guy Chavo can’t help himself…Before the match, he addresses Sugar Shane Helms…He tosses out a hypothetical to try and convince Shane to save his title shot at Sin by sabotaging Noble…The desk is unsure of Chavo Jr.’s very obvious motivations…C’mon, Stevie, you were a heel for years…You should get this… Noble lands a dropkick and a body slam to start, nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, gets top control on Chavo, then transitions from an STF into a couple of flash pinfall attempts…This is fun stuff, wrestled at a nice pace…Chavo takes a headscissors that spills him to the floor, and he backs off and tries to break Noble’s momentum by wandering around outside for a few seconds… Chavo can’t get anything in on Noble, who is quicker on the draw than him…Noble ducks a few Chavo strike attempts to get two counts on another pair of flash pinfall attempts…Chavo gets a double axe in, but when he shoots Noble in, Noble catches him with a clubbing forearm…Chavo finally remembers that if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying…He blocks a piledriver attempt, trips Noble, and then knees him right in the balls…He continues his cheating ways with a couple of two-handed chokes that he holds all the way up to Jamie Tucker’s count of four… Deliberately, Chavo continues to throw forearms, but Noble fires up with punches of his own, ducks a couple of lariat attempts, and lands a reverse neckbreaker…They both take time to receover and are both up at the same time…Noble wins punches, then a backbreaker and a back body drop…Noble lands a lariat and looks ascendant…Chavo begs off, but no dice…Noble puts Chavo up top and looks for a superplex…That’s when Shane Helms, worried about losing his number one contendership, sneaks out and holds Noble’s leg…That block helps Chavo send Noble to the mat…He follows with a Frog Splash and then a brainbuster for three…Very good match, and I'm elevating to the Good Matches list on its own merit…However, it doesn’t hurt as an added cherry on top of this good match that Stevie is absolutely confused about Chavo’s clever verbal gambit from before the match started…Stevie, after the match: “How do we know this was not a ploy by Chavo?”…Tony S., in a somewhat bewildered response: “We do know that it was a ploy by Chavo”… Back from break, Hacksaw Duggan enters the ring in his street clothes, holding a mic and looking penitent…Duggan briefly pauses as he notices the two fans sitting near the commentary area heckling the shit out of him with a DUGGAN SUCKS chant…When Duggan says that he’s not going to make any excuses because he’s an adult by saying “I’m over twenty-one,” one of the hecklers stops chanting to accusatorily say THAT’S TRUE…Hahaha, these hecklers know where to hit a guy who has basically complained about ageism in the booking room on television before…Right in his metaphorical kidney… Duggan in fact says that the higher-ups were trying to get him to retire, which becomes the motivation for his heel turn rather than being mad about the crowd chanting for GOLDBERG after GOLDBERG blitzed him a few months back…Actually, it makes sense that both of these things might have had an influence on him...Duggan reels off a list of things he’s shared with the fans…Heckler, insistently: YOU STILL SUCK…It’s funny because it’s happening to Duggan…And I say that even though I think Duggan in 2000 has been a shockingly useful character!...Duggan apologizes to his friends, his family, and the fans for being such a cad and resolves to leave WCW… After a break for advertisements, Mike Awesome stops Duggan from leaving and asks him to stick around WCW, at least through the end of this Thunder taping…Awesome offers Duggan a ride home after the show…Huh, is Awesome going to kill Duggan’s career under the guise of friendship at some point tonight?... After another break, General Rection forgives Duggan for making tough choices to keep his job…They hug it out… Here is the list of our tag team battle royal competitors: Two Count, the Jung Dragons (w/Leia Meow), Meng and Kwee Wee (w/Paisley), the Harris Bros., Jamie (K)noble – still selling injury from the opener – and Evan Karagias, Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman, The Perfect Event, and Jindrak and O’Haire (the latter two teams both accompanied by Mike Sanders and Reno)… OK, so in this battle royal, one member being eliminated means both members are, unlike in the tag battle royal earlier in the year…The order of eliminations is as such…The Jung Dragons go first…Noble and Karagias are next out…Stevie tries to question Tony S. about why Tony thinks he’s overused the word “natural in his commentary about this match…Tony S., not taking the bait: “You ask some dumb questions sometimes”… Two Count are third eliminated, and before there’s a fourth elimination, Vito jumps Reno at ringside and feeds him a steady diet of soupbones…Johnny the Bull is back, too, and he clobbers Mike Sanders with a kendo stick, then faces off with Vito…They hug, reuniting the Mamalukes before we go to a commercial break…Wait, hold on, you may be asking yourself (as I did), why would the Bull be mad at Sanders?...If you’ll recall, Sanders sent the Bull to attack his future opponent Kwee Wee on Thunder in Australia (Thunder show number one hundred and thirty-one)…The Nitro after that show (Nitro Show #262), he destroyed his ankle on a bad landing after a Kwee Wee monkey flip…So it seems that his motivation would be attacking Sanders because Sanders used his powers derived from the commissionership to send the Bull out there to attack Kwee Wee for him, which eventually got the Bull injured...That’s solid motivation to spark a babyface turn…Hopefully, Vito has learned not to alienate his allies for a taste of midcard gold this time around… We come back from a commercial break to find that the Harris Bros. have thankfully been eliminated, as have Kwee Wee and Meng…Our final teams are the two Thrillers teams and the one Animals team…Rey is a pesky lil’ guy and hangs on whenever the Thrillers get close to tossing him out there…Hold on, is this how Palumbo and O’Haire end up being a tag team?...They eliminate Kidman, and so, as I recall that Palumbo and O’Haire are our final WCW tag champs (I think), it must be that we get Stasiak and Jindrak eliminated at the same time and Sanders saying that Palumbo and O’Haire are the intended tag team… Or maybe not…An out-of-breath and disoriented Sanders gets in the ring and calls for the bell as the Thrillers all celebrate together…Tony S. helpfully notes that CEO Flair isn’t actually in the building tonight (at least not anymore, as it turns out)…Sanders cuts a ponderous promo about how awesome he and his charges are…I suppose they saw Two Count try to sneak a double-contendership opportunity and decided to try it themselves…It didn’t really work for Two Count since they were forced to wrestle one another to decide it…**Tobias Funkë voice** but maaaaaybe it’ll work for them… Sanders: “At Sin…you need to take those belts, you need to shine ‘em up really nice”…Tony S. “You can see the cliché coming from all the way down the Chattahoochee on this one”…Stevie Ray, having only discerned the word “hoochie”: “The what?!”…Tony S. patiently explains that it’s a river, not a type of looked-down-upon sexually active woman…Anyway, Sanders goes on and on and on, but actually, the point is that he says that he’s sending out some combination of these four guys out to face the Insiders, and Page and Nash won’t know until the show…How can CEO Ric Flair let this one stand in kayfabe?...C’mon… Prime Time Elix Skipper is looking to build a house tonight…His opponent is Konnan (w/Tygress)…I get a kick out of Stevie lamenting that his six-year-old daughter beat him in WCW Backstage Assault for the Nintendo 64 and PlayStation One entertainment systems…Especially because she was using Booker, and he was using himself…This caused me to go check the roster on the game… OK, quick diversion here…Wrestlers in WCW Backstage Assault for the Nintendo 64 and PlayStation One entertainment systems who are not being used on WCW programming in any fashion at the point that it is being shilled on this Thunder episode…Asya, Bret Hart, Chris Candido, Chris Kanyon (I sure hope he comes back for the last three months!), Elizabeth, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Kimberly, La Parka, Madusa, Mona, Scott Hall, Tank Abbott, Torrie Wilson, Vampiro, and Vince Russo…Kanyon and Torrie have a chance of coming back, and of course, Bischoff shows up one more time over the phone toward the end of the company’s existence, but everyone else here is long gone…Honestly, only sixteen out of fifty-eight wrestlers on this game's roster not being on television isn’t too bad…How did Juventud Guerrera not get onto the video game’s roster, though?...We have space for Bischoff, Russo, Dellinger, and Sarge, but not THA JOOOOOOOOOCY ONE?...Ah, one more THA JOOOOOOOOOOCY ONE for the road before these reviews are finished…Glad I got that out… Back to the action, please don’t job Elix to fucking Konnan…Konnan works a style that he is too big and clunky to do very well…Tenay calls his flash pinfall for two “an attempt at a roll-up” on cue, just as I type that…And equally on cue, Konnan tries to run up the ropes and doesn’t make it…Skip saves it by stomping him out while yelling LOOK AT YA, then letting Tygress know that Konnan AIN’T SHIT…I do like that Elix matrices under a lariat, but Konnan just locks him in place for an inverted DDT as he bends back upward…This match is something of a Skipper showcase, much like the opener was a showcase of how fun Jamie (K)noble is in the ring…Skip gets a handful of two counts, including on a lovely missile dropkick… HAHAHAHAHA…Stevie shits on Scott James’s refereeing by asking if he “went to the Bronco Lubich school of reffing”…HAHAHAHAHA, fantastic…Skip continues to counter the lumbering Konnan’s aerial attempts…As Skipper lands a springboard guillotine legdrop, I think, Wow, this guy is still wrestling in Jordans…Nutty choice…Why not just wrestle in Timberlands next?...Wait, I think Shad Gaspard actually did wrestle in Timberlands…Insane stuff from Shad Gaspard there (R.I.P.)…The crowd thinks this match is BORING, but I think it’s solid…It’s not fluid or anything, but look, it’s Konnan…Both men trade flash pinfall attempts for two until Konnan suddenly clears out Elix with a lariat and goes immediately into a Tequila Sunrise, a move that he's using on television for the first time in what feels like ages…It manages to make Elix tap out…Skipper was fun to watch in this one…He shouldn’t have jobbed to fucking Konnan, though… Crowbar (w/Daffney) faces the limping Bam Bam Bigelow, who is selling lingering injuries from when he crashed through the hood of an ambulance a day ago three days ago at Starrcade…I don’t think Crowbar should have much trouble with an injured Bigelow despite the size difference…Alas, Bigelow tosses him around even with the bad knee to start…I dig a spot with Bigelow yelling AWWW, SHUT UP at a shrieking Daffney, then hitting a vertical suplex in which he merely drops Crowbar rather than going down with him…Yeah, I’d be minimizing my landings too had I gone through an ambulance a day three days ago… Crowbar finally gets an attack in on the knee and targets it going forward…Bigelow still gets control and has Crowbar pinned against the railing…Daffney comes over and rakes Bammer’s eyes…It merely pisses him off, but his attention is now on Daffney, which gives Crowbar a chance to recover and score a chop block…Back in the ring, Crowbar goes up for a finish, but Meng shoves him to the mat in revenge for the wrench shot on Nitro…Bigelow manages to get to his feet and quickly hit a Greetings to get out of dodge as the winner… Norman Smiley enters the ring for a match against Goldberg…Tony S. shills the Goldberg jersey furiously, considering they have a few more weeks to sell them before Goldberg leaves WCW television…In one of the segments that has been cut, someone told Smiley that he had a booking tonight even though he thought he was off…We’ll find out when we hit the newest running segment in these reviews later on…Norm was nervous about facing Goldberg when he was last booked against him, and he was right to be…Smiley has nothing for Goldberg, who quickly goes SPEAR, JACKHAMMER, SPLAT for the victory… After the match, Totally Buff pops up on the TurnerTron and lets him know that they’ll be facing Goldberg and Sarge in a tag match at Sin…They’re confident that they can send Goldberg packing by beating Sarge in that match…This is actually a clever way to put some danger in that match and in the nu-Streak angle…Goldberg responds in the arena by suggesting that he will murderize both members of Totally Buff…OK, so I misremembered, didn’t I?...Does Sarge knife Goldberg in the back at Sin?...Or does he do it at SuperBrawl when Goldberg is wrestling a handicap match against Totally Buff?...I recalled Goldberg being retired in a handicap match, but memories are faulty…We’ll see soon enough… There are many things that I don’t fast forward through for these reviews that I would if I were watching without intent to write about these shows…Shane Douglas’s promos are near the top of that particular list…He thinks Richmond sucks, and so does Tenay over on commentary…Tony S.’s arch THEN LEAVE in response is pretty funny, though…Douglas’s shtick is basically Mike Sanders’s shtick except with more HAHAAAAAAAAs…So, Douglas introduces KroniK before their match with the Misfits in Action… One of the strengths of trios tags are that they hide the deficiencies of the workers in them even better than standard tags do…I do like that Cpl. Cajun tries a Bourbon Street Blues, begs off when Adams eats his punches for lunch, and uses that space he gave himself via begging off to hit Adams with a punch to the balls…Someone’s been listening to Chavo Jr., huh?...Cajun actually gets himself out of a jam with a neckbreaker to Clark and a tag to SGT. A-WALL…This match is fine for what it is…The match breaks down…Clark hits Cajun with a Meltdown, but Rection and Douglas are the legal men… Rection basically headbutts Douglas on a No Laughing Matter, but Clark breaks up the pinfall…Then, as the ref looks at Clark and Cajun going at it outside the ring, Adams swings a chair at Rection when Rection is shot into the ropes…It smacks Rection in the back, and the general stumbles into a Franchiser for three…After the match, Douglas and his hired guns beat the Misfits down… OK, so at some point, CEO Ric Flair revealed that the Cat gets the shot at Scott Steiner’s world title…This seems an appropriate place to plunk our recurring segment titled This week in stuff the morons at the WWE Network cut from this episode of Thunder: Crowbar and Daffney have a backstage interview with Gene Okerlund…CEO Flair gives the Cat a title shot before leaving the building to meet with someone…Okerlund harasses the Natural Born Thrillers while interviewing them…More Okerlund interview business, this time with Scott Steiner and Midajah…Okerlund, Jarrett, even more interview time…Ah, this was important: A-WALL and Cajun are upset with Rection for forgiving Duggan, but refusing to forgive Chavo Jr.; though Rection fairly enough points out that Duggan apologized and Chavo Jr. didn’t, A-WALL and Cajun are dissatisfied with that justification…Norman Smiley gets super excited over another Glacier promo before being informed that he has a match tonight…Shane Douglas makes his payment due to KroniK while they all interview with Gene Okerlund…Mike Tenay interviews an evasive CEO Ric Flair about his mystery man’s identity, among other things…The Cat and Ms. Jones have a backstage interview with Okerlund…I don’t know, maybe someone at the Network just hates Gene Okerlund or something… Backstage, an injured Rection yells out that he’s not PLAYING WITH DA FRANCHISE, NO MAAAAAAAH… Team Canada is here so that Lance Storm can lecture the United States about how much it sucks, particularly the electoral college…I could tell him all about why the electoral college exists, in major part to protect the interests of the wealthy slave owners in slave states, since they had lower populations than industrial free states, but that probably would only make him more certain that he’s right about how bad America sucks…Storm thinks that Duggan makes poor choices…Duggan storms out with his 2x4, HUSSing like he’s the Berzerker…He squares off with Storm and Skipper…Mike Awesome runs down here to ostensibly back Duggan up, but it’s a ruse!...In fact, this is such a ridiculous turn that IT’S A SWERVE, BRO, even though Russo is nowhere around…This nonsensical turn came out of nowhere…I do get a kick out of Stevie Ray going all Bill Watts and mispronouncing it as DOOGAN before correcting himself, though… After the break, Gene Okerlund grills Team Canada…Elix Skipper cracks me up because after Awesome declares that he’s thrilled to be out of leisure suits and into maple leaf-decorated garb, Skip goes YAEEY YEAHHEEYYY like he’s Ice Cube at the beginning of “We Be Clubbin'”…Skipper is kinda on fire tonight…Storm tells Duggan that it might be wise for him to leave the company before Awesome breaks him in two… Alright, it’s main event time…The Cat (w/Ms. Jones) meets Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) in a title match that will be under five minutes sans entrances…This is a Nitro Special main event, but on Thunder…In under five minutes, we get an obligabrawl, a fight between Jones and Midajah that Midajah loses, and an appearance of the mystery man at the top of the ramp…The Cat actually hits a Feliner, but Steiner kicks out right at two on the cover, hits a suplex, and locks on a Steiner Recliner to retain his title…After the match, he chases after the masked mystery man as the show ends… We’re off to 2001!...WOOO…

Show #271 – 18 December 2000 "The one where WCW probably wishes that Scott Steiner was both emotionally and physically healthy enough to build their show around eighteen months earlier than he was" Because of pre-emptions, this is the last Nitro until the second week of January. Let’s say goodbye to the year 2000 on Nitro. I’m torn because on the one hand, I’m incredibly happy to say goodbye to what probably wase been the worst calendar year of television either the WWF or WCW have ever put on the air. On the other hand, the only spring stampede in 2001 will be the one where McMahon stomps all over Fusient in the race to purchase WCW just so that he can book the brand into oblivion. You can see why I’m torn. Then again, this year was so bad! Cold open: CEO Ric Flair hypes what was a mediocre Starrcade before booking Buff Bagwell against Bill Goldberg and hyping a reveal for Scott Steiner’s opponent – or opponents, he teases – at Sin. Recap: Stills of the mediocre Starrcade that CEO Flair was just hyping. Here’s our ugly Nitro opening! Shane Helms gets a jobber opening as Tony S. (joined at the desk by Hudson and Madden) fills everyone in on the Helms/Moore tie victory in the Starrcade ladder match. CEO Flair has decreed off-screen that the two winners wrestle one another to decide who the true number one contender to the cruiserweight belt really is. Moore enters the ring and shakes hands with Helms. Madden puts both guys over – in fact, as Shawn Michaels was often billed as “the wrestler of the ‘90s,” Madden calls Moore “HB2K.” Only one of those claims bore fruit, as it turned out. The feeling out process is solid; Helms hits a rollup for two, and Moore follows with a sloppy roll-up of his own for two. Moore gets a further four straight two counts on flash pinfall attempts, so Helms gets sick of all that shit and launches Moore to the floor by his hair. Helms walks over and gets tripped by Moore, who then drags him outside the ring and, as Helms stands up ready to fight, slides back inside the ring. Moore continues to absolutely hornswoggle (not Hornswoggle) Helms, trying a sloppy sunset flip powerbomb and then tripping Helms when Helms blocks it by holding onto the ropes. This culminates in a Moore running rana off the apron. Back in the ring, both men fight over a top rope move; Helms manages to hoist Moore over his shoulder and hit a super powerslam for two. Helms tries to put away Moore with power, but can’t; Moore then ducks a Sugar Smack and scores a corkscrew body press for another two count. They hit another series of reversals out of arm drag attempts until Moore hits a Rocker Dropper Showstopper (he actually has a specific name for his version, but I forget what it is) for two more. In an attempt to put his tag partner-slash-opponent away, Moore sits Helms up top for a super rana attempt, but Helms knocks Moore to the mat and follows with a diving sunset flip for 2.8. Moore gets Helms running again, but Helms stops on a duckdown, hooks Moore and drills him with a Vertebreaker for three. After the match, he helps his fallen buddy up, which is when Chavo Jr. attacks. Unfortunately for him, it’s one-on-two, and Moore puts Chavo in the fireman’s carry position from behind for that team TKO that Hudson claims is called a Nightmare on Helms Street, so sure, why not, we’ll use that name for it going forward. This was a sloppy match, but both guys tried hard and it was certainly watchable. We cut to the M.I.A. locker room, where Rection yells at Cpl. Cajun for trying to help a backjumping prodigal son like Chavo, which Cajun did at Starrcade if you’ll recall. Cajun just rolls his eyes at this dope. I like that Rection finally won the United States title, but people still don’t respect his goofy ass. After the break, Tony S. shills the Goldberg jersey while Scott Steiner and Midajah make their way to the ring. Steiner gets a live mic and jabbers on about how much better he is at being world champion than Ric Flair ever was. He claims that he’s so big and bad that he’s complicating Flair’s job, in that the CEO can’t find a wrestler who is willing to fight him. He also drops this line as he yells at Flair, which, look, I’m just going to write it word for word: “Why don’t you convince Diamond Dallas Page to get a sex change so that he has the balls to come out here and face me?” I mean, WOW. I could write a whole essay just unpacking this line. Steiner continues to berate Page for being “white trash” and a “jabroni” and drops THIS line: “When Diamond Dallas Page comes out here and says BADA BOOM, BADA BING, BADA BANG…I don’t even know what the hell that means. SEND HIM BACK DOWN TO THE BUSH LEAGUES!” This was the sort of verbal assault that, had WCW put the belt on Steiner and let him do this in early 1999 when people were still watching this show, might have kept more people tuning in. It was the type of promo that fans of the era would have eaten up. WCW bringing more guys in to do WWF-style promos but keeping their longer matches probably would have been the secret sauce to stay competitive. Then again, Scott Steiner couldn't keep himself on television in 1999. Such is life! After this sudden assault on DDP as a human being, Steiner demands that Flair tell him who his opponent at Sin is right now. Flair is mockingly obsequious in his opening remarks to Steiner, giving him all sorts of plaudits before suggesting that he’s got to keep pushing Steiner to be the very best. Steiner suspects that Flair is trying to fuck him over, but Flair presses on by announcing that he’ll be booking Steiner to defend his title in a Triple Threat Match at Sin. One opponent will be determined via a four-person tournament tonight. Flair withholds the names of the competitors to keep Steiner from getting to them before their bouts. Flair stops here to mention that he’s also got a mystery man – is this Road Warrior Animal or is this the other opponent? – and thus enrages Scott Steiner. Well, enrages him more than he typically is. Steiner promises to find out who this mystery man is or die trying. No, that’s not accurate. Let me rephrase: Steiner promises to find out who this mystery man is or beat the shit out of Ric Flair while trying. Yeah, that’s a much more accurate paraphrase of Steiner’s vow. Hold on, let’s stop here for just a second. I didn’t recall Sin being a triple threat. Let me think here. What I recall is Steiner/Sid working a singles match and then Road Warrior Animal coming out at the end and not really needing to help Steiner beat down Sid all that much considering Sid’s injured leg. I also remember being very let down by the reveal that it was fucking ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL, AKA the boring yell-y one of the Road Warriors. I vividly remember trying to see what news I could find on expiring contracts just to get a sense of whether or not it could be an upper-carder or main eventer coming over, and I think I even was hoping it was Rob Van Dam at the time, but no dice. Also, doesn’t CEO Flair become Evil CEO Flair at this event? What a clusterfuck of a show, and I’m still five shows away from it, including this one. Recap: Buff Bagwell joins Lex Luger in his quest to rid WCW of Goldberg. So, is Lex Luger a San Antonio Spurs fan, or does he just like their warmups? Luger and Buff chat with Gene Okerlund in the back. Buff explains the motivation for his heel turn. First, he reads a dedication from Goldberg’s book: “’To Buff, you are the stuff – Bill Goldberg.’ And by the way, Bill, ‘stuff’ is [spelled with] TWO ‘F’s, YOU BIG GOOF.” Then he basically says that WCW sucks ass, so he decided to join up with Luger. That’s, uh, incomplete motivation. The implication, I presume, is that Buff wants to kill off WCW’s cash cow as revenge for not getting pushed more or some nonsense like that. Scott Steiner suddenly busts in on this interview and scares the shit out of Lex Luger: “Luger, you know Flair; he’s been screwin’ me, he’s screwed you, find out who the mystery partner is! *points at Buff* Find out who he is! HELP ME OUT, MAN!” Steiner’s chaotic energy is very entertaining tonight. Luger’s choice to respond with a placating “I’ll be there for you, Scotty!” cracks me up, too. Luger and Buff decide to make haste and maybe go the opposite direction that Scott Steiner was going in, so this interview is abruptly over. Meng (w/Kwee Wee and Paisley) gets a hardcore title shot against new champ Terry Funk. Put the camera on Paisley more, dammit! Funk shows up on the TurnerTron and calls Meng “a monkey-faced moron…with flat feet and [a] banana nose.” Wherever he is, there’s a fence or a cage or somesuch. Meng slowly jogs backstage, the ref and his designer buddies following. Meng finds the fencing area backstage, and we get a garbage dump of a match. It’s the same fuckshit everyone is used to from these matches. One kinda neat spot is a punch-drunk Funk tossing a trash can over his head as he stumbles away from Meng, it landing on Meng’s head, and Meng no-selling the blow so that he can pick up the can and beat Funk with it. They make it back out in front of the crowd, where Meng exposes that Thunder is shot along with Nitro each week when he pulls up the skirting on the apron to get a table. Someone’s got an AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS GOLDBERG’S NEXT sign, and dammit, we never got that match. Meng destroys Funk, but Crowbar runs in and clobbers Meng with his golden wrench; Funk topples on top of Meng for three. Hey, Crowbar is back in his junk clothes! He grabs a mic and tells Funk that he’s back in his grungy duds instead of that ‘70s nonsense, so that signals a perspective change which has him ready to put a hurting on the Funker at Sin. Jeff Jarrett practically jumps out of his skin when Scott Steiner comes up to him, yells out a garbled angry accusation at Jarrett for accidentally KABONGing him at Starrcade – I can only guess this because he points angrily at the KABONGing guitar that Jarrett is wielding while sputtering out a garbled ball of vocal rage – and asks Jarrett if he’s one of the qualifiers for the Sin main event. Jarrett denies it; Steiner then demands that Jarrett help him figure out who CEO Flair’s secret mystery dude is before leaving. Jarrett waits until Steiner is way the hell down the hall before yelling GET OFF MY BACK, which is probably smart! After some stills of Reno nonsensically being the one to have hired KroniK to beat up both Vito and, um, Reno, we get Vito standing backstage with Gene Okerlund and cutting a bad promo on Reno. Daffney is so proud of Crowbar for finding himself again; they walk past Mike Awesome, who wants to know where Crowbar's dope leisure suit is. Crowbar says that the ‘70s gimmick almost destroyed his career and sense of self and suggests that maybe Awesome should consider dropping it as well. They part as friends. Lance Storm (w/Major Gunns) is in the first mini-tournament match; he talks about getting a chance to get the only WCW belt he hasn’t yet won, though was he a tag title? Maybe the only singles belt he hasn't yet won is a more correct suggestion. He makes an election jibe, but Tony S. is suuuuper-bored with all that shit. Agreed. Storm’s opponent is Rey Misterio Jr. (w/Tygress). This would be good if it got some time, but they’re wrestling this at top speed, so it probably won't get enough time. Slick Johnson poorly positions himself and gets crunched by Storm on a spot. It wasn’t a ref bump; Slick looked like a dolt as a shoot and not as a work. Storm gets knees up on an Asai moonsault to stop the flood of Misterio offense and goes to work with a superkick and a stalling vertical suplex. He can’t put Misterio away, though; Rey rolls outside and Storm follows, where they have a brief obligabrawl. Back in the ring, they counter and counter and nearfall and nearfall until Storm decides to sink in an abdominal stretch and throw punches at Rey’s taped ribs. Rey reaches into his reserves and hip tosses his way out, but his follow-up splash fails. Storm backs Rey into the corner and throws punches at his ribs, but his Irish whip into the other corner is blocked twice; Rey ends up hitting a headscissors the second time and a somersault seated plancha when Storm rolls outside the ring after that move. Rey follows up with a springboard guillotine legdrop back in the ring, but it gets 2.5. Rey goes on the run and gets his bulldog attempt countered into a Canadian Maple Leaf; he can’t turn his way out of it and is forced to tap out. Decent match, if a bit rough around the edges. Madden intimates that Lance Storm has replaced Bret Hart as THE elite technical wrestler from Calgary, and no, he hasn’t, but it’s a nice way to put the guy over. Mic in hand, Mike Awesome comes to the ring for the other qualifier into the Sin main event. He macks on the ladies, but he realizes that after destroying Bam Bam at Starrcade and talking to Crowbar, he’s maybe more feeling Career Killer-ish than ‘70s Guy-ish right now. Awesome’s opponent is Jeff Jarrett. Uh-oh, someone told a little fib to that nutbar Scotty Steiner! Actually, Jarrett should probably finish this early before Scott Steiner and his lead pipe make it on down here. Awesome gets an early two count off a nice flying shoulderblock. Jarrett quickly gets on top of things with knees and boots, but he gets corralled on a leapover attempt and release back suplexed. Awesome tries to follow up, but is caught with a jawbreaker and sent to the floor for the obligatory ringside brawl that is such a signature of your typical WCW bout. Jarrett starts the obligabrawl on top, but Awesome changes all that after whipping Jarrett between the apron and the rail and bashing Jarrett onto the commentary desk. It’s only when Awesome tries a power move of some sort on top of the table that Jarrett is able to get in a forearm to the balls; he wisely takes the match back to the ring after that. This is another decent match that isn’t hitting the level of “so good, I would suggest that you watch it,” but that is an enjoyable enough time. Awesome gets a close two count on a regular powerbomb, then combos a diving lariat from the top and a double-underhook facebuster for another two count. Awesome looks for an Awesome Bomb that Jarrett slips out of; Awesome charges Jarrett, but Jarrett boots Awesome back into ref Charles Robinson. Jarrett grabs his KABONGin’ guitar, but Awesome knocks him down and takes it away from him. As Robinson stops him from swinging it, Jarrett crawls to the apron, reaches down, grabs another guitar, and then swings it at Awesome when Awesome advances and Robinson is looking elsewhere while disposing of the first guitar. That KABONG gets a quick three for Jarrett when Robinson turns around and sees Jarrett’s leveraged pinfall attempt. This was alllllllright. Scott Steiner runs up on Jarrett backstage when we come back, and actually, Steiner is even more sinister because he’s not yelling: “Jeff, Jeff…you lied to me, man.” Jarrett immediately explains that CEO Flair would have taken him out of the match had he owned up to being a participant and that he’s trying to get into the match at Sin to back Steiner up as Steiner’s only friend in the company. It works, somehow. Promo: Glacier is still on his way back, and we cut to Norman Smiley watching this promo in the locker room. He gets hyped and dances because Glacier, “a real hero,” will be here soon. Again. Gene Okerlund interviews Shane Douglas, who is okay with having not won the U.S. Championship yet because he’s got a long-term plan to destroy Rection and the M.I.A. He challenges the Misfits to a match against him and two partners on the upcoming Thunder; he came up with the cash to hire KroniK, who step into the picture and assure Rection and Company that they’re going to catch a beatdown on Thunder later tonight on Wednesday. CEO Ric Flair talks to someone over the phone about his big surprise for tonight; Mike Awesome destroys tables in the back and calls the Filthy Animals “a buncha lightweights” when they try to calm him down. Konnan exclaiming WHAT A SAP at the departing Awesome got me to laugh. Alex Wright is all by his lonesome tonight as he wrestles the Cat (w/the lovely Ms. Jones). The Cat does not enjoy Wright’s dancing, and he makes that clear. Madden, who has once again been comparing the Cat to every black TV character from the ‘70s because he knows the Cat will come at him verbally and maybe even physically no matter what he says or doesn't say, is then the recipient of a small FAT ASS chant after the Cat says he’d rather see Madden dance and then asks the crowd to help him request that Madden cut a rug. It’s all puerile stuff. Wright and the Cat proceed to have the same match everyone else has had tonight, but worse. They have a typical obligabrawl, and as with the previous match, it also makes its way over to the commentary table. They get in the ring before having a second obligabrawl. Ms. Jones runs a distraction by trying to kick Wright; her kick is blocked, but it allows the Cat to get a kick in, though Wright just takes back over anyway. They get back in the ring, and Wright cinches in an armbar that the Cat fights up from, though Wright drops him again and goes back to an armlock. Wright gets up from that, but continues to dominate for another couple of minutes until the Cat scores a flash Feliner after slipping out of the back of a Wright Snake Eyes attempt to win this match. The babyfaces celebrate with a dance. It’s rad. The match? Not so rad. The Thrillers get out of a limo; Sanders is ordering some escorts or something. Elsewhere backstage, Scott Steiner randomly kills off the losing teams in the Starrcade opener and also Elix Skipper. *whispers* I think he’s mad. The Thrillers now make their way out to the ring, where Sanders does his typical “trailer trash” shtick at only an above average clip compared to, say, Scott Steiner. On the other hand, he does it better than the rest of the Thrillers would. I mean, this guy’s nickname is appropriate! He goes on and on about the physical attractiveness of he and his compatriots. This feels a whole lot like filler. He meanders around to saying that even though the Thrillers don’t have the tag gold, they’re here and feeling good and the Insiders are licking their wounds at home. Finally, fucking finally, he uses his commissioner powers to book the Insiders in a tag title match at Sin against…wait, hold on, it's CEO Ric Flair interrupting that announcement. Madden makes me laugh by declaring that the number one contenders are Flair and Blackjack Mulligan when Flair’s music cuts in right at the reveal of Sanders’s announcement. Flair says, “I knocked down more women in 1981 [in Richmond, VA] than you’ll ever have in your life.” Ew. That right there is part of the reason that antibiotics are less able to fight disease today, I’m sure of it. The CEO books one of these fucking tag team battle royals for the shot at the Insiders. Jindrak and O’Haire have won one of these earlier in the year (Nitro Show #259), so I like their odds. We get a repeat of the Starrcade stills of Buff Bagwell, Lex Luger, Sarge, and Goldberg, which leads into Buff vs. Goldberg on tonight’s show. Bagwell, who explicitly named Totally Buff in his earlier interview, has come out here alone, but I assume that it’s only a matter of time until his running buddy makes it out to join him. Oh, yeah, there’s Luger hiding behind the apron with a chair; Goldberg stalks Buff, who backs off and circles the ring until Luger can pop out and clobber Goldberg. Totally Buff commences upon a beatdown until Sarge runs in and attacks Buff, though Luger lands a chair shot to the head on Sarge. At least Sarge’s diversion gives Goldberg, the winner by DQ I presume, time to recover and clear the heels out with Side Kicks of DOOOOOOOM. Our main event for the night will determine the third entrant into the Sin main event: Lance Storm (w/Major Gunns) does some more pre-match mic work before Jeff Jarrett joins him in the ring for a brief bout. Storm gives Jarrett his props, but points out the one flaw in Jarrett’s game, namely that he’s not from CALGARY…ALBERTA, CANADA. By the time Jarrett gets out here, we’re fewer than seven minutes from the finish, so let’s just talk about the finish. After a okay, but rushed match, in which Storm survives a Figure Four and both men trade flash pinfall attempts, Slick Johnson initiates a standing ten-count after a superplex. Jarrett covers at eight, but Storm kicks out at two. Jarrett tries an enziguri, but Storm ducks and holds onto Jarrett’s leg, then tries a Canadian Maple Leaf, but Jarrett sees it coming and immediately crawls to the ropes. Storm stands Jarrett up and tries to shoot him into the ropes, but Jarrett halts his progress and, rather than whipping Storm in on a reversal, simply stops and hooks Storm for a Stroke that gets three. Scott Steiner storms out here with a mic and tells CEO Ric Flair that he’ll be performing a free colonoscopy on the CEO with his lead pipe as soon as he gets back to his office. Cameras follow Steiner to the back while Steiner accosts Jimmy Hart; Steiner eventually finds the CEO’s office, but Flair isn’t in it. Steiner spots Flair at the end of the hall and rushes him, but the fully-covered mystery man pops out the other side of a door and batters Steiner as the show ends. This was a decent enough show, though after months of complaining about aimlessly-long wrestling matches back in 1998 and the first half of 1999, I would like to change my position and ask for those matches back again, please. 2.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

I think (from what I can glean) wrestlers value her work, but I don't think the general fandom values it enough.