SirSmUgly

WCW Great American Bash 1992 notes: Bill Watts loves the NWA Tag Team Championships possibly more than life itself. What is this guy doing pushing them as the big draw of this show alongside the WCW World Heavyweight Championship? Was he aware that WCW kinda had its own WCW World Heavyweight Championships? It seems like he wasn’t even though he booked those titles in the main event of the previous PPV and also just put them on Doc and Gordy. It dawns on me that, while 1992 is an awesome year for WCW, Watts sauntered into the company after a huge chunk of the good stuff was already set in motion, especially that hot Rude/Steamboat feud and that supernova Dangerous Alliance/Sting and Friends feud. Kip Frye’s regime should get more credit for WCW being awesome during this year than he does. Tony S. and Magnum T.A. open the show as presenters and sometimes-interviewers. They talk about Sting/Vader, and we have arrived at Vader’s coming transitional title reign so that we can get that poorly booked Ron Simmons world title run that Bill Watts should also be pilloried for more often. The sad thing about it is that Simmons was over with WCW crowds at that level and could have been a made guy if Watts had booked his title reign correctly. The Steiner Brothers were beaten at the Clash previous to this show by Doc and Gordy in the NWA tag title tournament; I really dug that match, especially because it built off the knee work that the Miracle Violence Connection had already put in on Scott Steiner at Beach Blast ’92. Stateside fans are not really fucking with Doc and Gordy as far as my re-watch of the video tape shows and, probably because of their very ‘70s mat-based style of work with the Steiners, never got into them or bought the hype that they were that much of a threat compared to teams that could stand and throw bombs with the Steiners. However, as someone who would thoroughly enjoy a Dory Funk Jr. and Horst Hoffman vs. Dory and Horst’s clones Mirror Match, I love the whole fucking feud. Alas, that is not how WCW fans in 1992 felt, which is why maybe Watts should have stopped zigging and started zagging with his booking. We have one change to the billed lineup of tag teams: Hiroshi Hase’s original partner Akira Nogami has an eye injury, so Shinya Hashimoto will be substituting for him. As someone who thinks that the WCW/New Japan relationship could occasionally bear fruit, it did so almost against WCW’s inability to frame the wrestlers that New Japan sent over in an interesting way. Jushin Liger got over in America because he’s, y’know, one of the ten best wrestlers ever. After that, I’m not sure WCW got much right about it. I assume that modern-day AEW does a much better job with it, partly because of the fanbase being more primed for New Japan wrestling in general and partly because Tony Khan has a pretty deep respect for New Japan as an organization from what I can gather. What I’m saying is that WCW should have given tween Tony Khan the book way back in 1992. (No, I’m not saying that.) Where did Jesse Ventura get that suit jacket? He looks like a Jackson Pollock vomited on him. Oh, and Jim Ross is also here as his delightfully mismatched commentary partner. Eric Bischoff interviews Bill Watts somewhere in the locker rooms. Bisch asks Watts to explain the rules for the NWA-affiliated tag matches and the WCW-affiliated title match, and oh no, we’re going to have that tournament and the title match and that’s it, aren’t we? That’s this show? And then on top of it, poor old Eric Bischoff having to feed Watts questions so that Watts has an opening to explain the fucking rules to pro wrestling matches, which is of course dumb as pro wrestling matches are supposed to be simple athletically-driven tales that get at broad psychological, social, or cultural narratives and not some sort of complex organic chemistry exam. Watts starts droning on about the AL and NL having different rules (yes, newer baseball fans, they did used to have different rules). I’m somewhat checked out at this point because this is too fucking complex for a pro wrestling show. Anyway, they can dive off the top rope in the tag matches because the NWA doesn’t have dumbass anachronistic rules about that, but they can't in the world title match since WCW does have those rules on account of Bill Watts long having lost his mojo. Personally, I want the NWA tag titles to be put on Brian Pillman and Jushin Liger, but they’re going right onto Doc and Gordy. At least this is an NWA title match so Liger can do some top-rope dives. Their opponents are Nikita Koloff and Ricky Steamboat. Pillman and Koloff work an opener that emphasizes Nikita’s major size and strength advantage while I fantasize about Liger and Steamboat hooking it up. I should pay more attention to the opener, where Pillman gets smart about things, teasing a Greco-Roman knuckle lock as a feint so he can trip Koloff before dipping and dodging and diving his way into a sunset flip for two. Pillman and Liger make a series of quick tags, scoring top-rope double-axes and working Nikita’s arm over. I really like their targeted tag work; they do things with urgency and work like they know they need to keep the bigger man from getting a chance to fire off and re-assert his strength advantage. Liger and Koloff work a nice spot where Liger cuts off Koloff’s comeback with a dropkick and a shoulderblock, but Pillman loses control of the match on a Koloff shoulderblock, and Steamboat comes in, a house aflame. He even flips Liger into the ring from Liger’s spot on the apron and tosses both men outside. After the match settles, Pillman re-enters the ring and works up from a front facelock to fire off a couple of big moves for two counts. This show is made better by Ventura’s commentary, in which right now he pontificates upon the bigger Koloff being unable to sustain his energy levels as the match goes on compared to the smaller cruisers. Liger tags in and just UNLOADS on Steamboat to the crowd’s utter delight. They are literally shrieking with excitement as Liger scores a moonsault for two, drills a Tombstone for two more, and tops that off with a running senton splash for yet another two count. Ventura shouts out Edouard Carpentier on that last move. Anyway, this picks the pace right up and awakens the crowd; Steamboat escapes further damage with a back suplex and a tag, and Koloff drops a couple of elbows on Liger for two before…plunking a chinlock on Liger. I don’t know, man, they needed to keep the pace up there, but they slowed it right back down. I’m not a stickler for every tag match having that traditional tag layout, but if you’ve got two teams with four guys that everyone is apt to cheer for, then you can’t run that layout and thus need to be interesting in another way. The obvious way to do that for this match is easy: Let the three guys with pace run rings around one another and only have the heavy tag in to his power moves or maybe to get eventually toppled by the persistence of the smaller men. This, on the other hand, has had too much Koloff and not enough continuous movement for a match that includes guys like Steamboat and Liger (and even Pillman). Finally, Liger escapes trouble and hits what is meant to be a hot tag that the crowd doesn’t really react for as such, which I think illustrates my point. Pillman lands a bunch of offense, just goes off, and then…puts Steamboat in a headlock. OK, whatever, I’m about done with this match. Let’s shepherd this toward a finish, fellas. I would love Liger/Steamboat one-on-one, though. They have to have worked one another at least a couple of times, right? Pillman stops a Sickle attempt in mid-pose by dropkicking Koloff, then tags in and hits some more dropkicks, and WCW’s propensity for having matches go on a touch too long is just part of their house style almost no matter what. Vince Russo is legit the only guy who broke that tendency, and he went too far in the other direction. There is a hot false finish in which Pillman scores a pretty missile dropkick on Koloff, then dropkicks Steamboat off the apron and covers. That should have been the actual finish. Instead, we get a sleeper spot after Koloff kicks out. Koloff escapes with a jawbreaker and we get dual tags so that Steamer and Liger can have the sort of pacey counter-filled match that I would have rather had be a one-on-one match for the U.S. Championship on this show than as a series of interstitials in the middle of this match. Every time Liger or Steamboat tags out, I get a little bit bummed, which is not to say that Pillman has been bad or that Koloff hasn’t been fine. After the match breaks down once more, Steamboat reverses the momentum on a Pillman diving cross body and gets three, which bums me out as I wanted more Liger on this show, Watts, you shithead. Liger/Pillman trying to survive the onslaught of Doc and Gordy in the next round would have been awesome. I think, if I’m remembering or understanding correctly, that the Steiner Brothers’ loss at the Clash not only was an NWA tag tournament match, but also lost them the tag titles. They are, however, still the IWGP tag champs, and they cut a promo in the locker room with Eric Bischoff. Scott points out that true greats like Muhammad Ali and Harley Race also lost big matches, but what made them great is that they came right back and met adversity with more success. It’s a pretty good little promo, and Rick’s insistence that he will put the hurt on Doc and Gordy so badly that kids better ask their parents if it’s okay to watch the show is also good. Ricky even promises to involve himself in this tournament tonight some way or another. I liked this little segment. Hiroshi Hase and Shinya Hashimoto (w/”martial arts kicks” because Jim Ross is on the call) wrestle the fucking Freebirds, who suck and are bad and are the worst. Jimmy Garvin and Michael Hayes come down here looking trashy as usual and promising to bore the shit out of me in the ring when they’re not annoying me with their act. Hayes does a crappy Fargo Strut and an even worse Moonwalk, so he’s determined to try and make me hate this match immediately. Hiroshi Hase is pretty good, though! I’ve seen some of his New Japan stuff and I enjoyed his work. It’ll be a test of his talents to see if he can help carry guys like Hayes and Garvin to something watchable. Hayes does some shitty chain wrestling and then tags in Garvin; Hashimoto tags in, throws a kick, and points at Garvin. DO IT, DON’T JUST THREATEN IT. Ventura babbles on about the portly Hashimoto eating fish heads and rice because it’s 1992 and I’m watching pro wrestling. I don’t know, I’ve checked out a bit already. Wait, as Hase and Hashimoto put Garvin into a bit of trouble, the crowd chants U-S-A, so I’ve checked all the way out. I’ll tell you if anything notable happens. OK, Hashimoto lands a nice bridging fallaway slam that I really like. Someone should be doing that move on television if no one already is. Anyway, Hayes escapes FIP jail and tags in Garvin, but Garvin eats a Hashimoto kick that knocks him right into a Hase bridging Northern Lights for three. This was acceptable pro wrestling, and its strength was in not being overlong and in having a decent heel control segment. Bill Watts and Hiro Matsuda stand with Tony S. on stage, where Watts announces a joint New Japan/WCW show that will hold a tournament to see who gets to tote around the big gold belt as the NWA World Champion. The story here is that Ric Flair has been stripped of the title and the belt is finally being defended once again, and that the winner of the world title tournament in Japan will be the new NWA Champion and hopefully signed to some sort of unification bout against the WCW World Champion, whether that is Sting or Vader (or Ron Simmons). Stunning Steve Austin and Ravishing Rick Rude (w/Madusa) are our next team up; after Rude poses, their opponents make their way to the ring: Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham. This match should be pretty good, but the thing about it is that it’s hard to care about a tournament with a bunch of short-term tag teams, New Japan teams that aren’t going to stick around in WCW for the long-term, and a likely, if not obvious, winner. I mean, is Windham and Austin having a dope opening exchange that ends with Windham drilling Austin with a taped fist a good time? Obviously, it is! However, the driving point of this whole tournament doesn’t do much to elevate the proceedings. Meanwhile, Austin is bouncing around like a pinball, selling punches and slaps like a man who would really like to be pushed beyond the TV title level already. He tags out to Rude, and I think that there’s probably not a more fun tag team in terms of bumping and selling than rude and Austin. Watching these guys eat moves and sell pain is fun as hell. It also helps that their opponents throw sweet punches that look painful, so the heels registering that damage completes a perfect visual alignment. We get our second Tombstone of the night when Dustin reverses Rude’s attempt into one of his own for two; Austin makes a near save. Rhodes next tries a big splash, but Rude gets knees up in desperation; Austin tags in and lands kicks on Rhodes’s abdomen, but Rhodes soon reverses the polarity of the match, lodges a few kicks of his own in Austin’s guts, and then tries an abdominal stretch that Austin almost escapes, but doesn’t. Austin tries to escape again and ends up on the wrong end of a Windham diving lariat that only gets two, but he finally scores a back body drop on the now-legal Windham and tags out. Rude targets Windham’s lower lumbar and tags out to Austin way too kayfabe early because Austin immediately gets countered out of a superplex and then hit with a crossbody for two. Madusa recognizes that Austin is in danger and hops onto the apron, which allows Rude to interject by grabbing Windham’s hair on a rope run and yanking him to the mat. Madusa keeps the ref’s attention so that Rude can score an illegal top-rope missile dropkick, except wait, it’s not illegal because this is a match sanctioned by the NWA, so they ran a spot that would normally make sense as a heat-getting maneuver except it doesn’t in this particular match, and I think we’ve illustrated why these rules are so dumb. You can’t expect a heel heat spot to work when it’s not actually a heel heat spot from match to match or show to show. In any case, this has been a good match and more in line with what I’d expect from talent like Austin, Rhodes, and Windham, particularly compared to what they pulled off the previous month. The latter of those guys is the babyface in peril right now, and as Rude clubs away at him, I wonder if Rick Rude is the S+-tier example of consistently great wrestling tights. I’m not sure anyone has had better tights than Rude. Wrestlers need to switch their gear up more. I again want to suggest that someone wear an LED belt buckle that scrolls insults about their opponent. You’d have to dress kinda crazy to make that whole deal work. From what I saw of Seth Rollins a few years ago, it could have worked for him. Bonus: He’d have been watchable for the first time since the days of the Shield just to see what insults scroll across the screen on his belt. After a lengthy heel heat segment and a couple of flash pinfall attempts and near-escapes by Windham, Windham hits an inverted atomic drop so that Rude can sell it exquisitely, all knock knees and tiptoes, and then runs right into Rude and knocks him own before making a hot tag. Rhodes hits a bunch of sweet offense, including a nice second-rope back elbow, and the match breaks down after Austin breaks up his cover attempt. Austin is legal, but he loses track of what’s going on and tries to piledrive Windham, who blocks it. In the meantime, Rhodes has dispatched of Rude outside the ring and makes his way to the top rope, where he nails Austin with a diving lariat and covers for a quick three count. This was a fun match, maybe a touch overlong with the second babyface shine segment, but ultimately watching these four work is so aesthetically pleasing that I can’t complain. Harley Race and Vader interview with Eric Bischoff. Suffice it to say that both Race and Vader exude confidence about Vader’s world title shot tonight. Jim Ross and Jesse Ventura hype Halloween Havoc, WCW’s next PPV show that is three months away. It’s strange that they held PPVs for three straight months in the summer and are now going to take a few months off until the next one. Ricky Steamboat and Nikita Koloff wrestle the fresh Miracle Violence Connection in this semifinal matchup in the NWA Tag Team Championship tournament. This should end up being a match built around Ricky Steamboat suffering, so that should put a decent floor on its quality considering Steamboat’s propensity for selling pain. Steamboat and Gordy open the bout, and Gordy immediately leans on Steamboat, who can only shift leverage for a couple of two counts. When Gordy gets to his feet, Steamboat does get the match moving and earn a hip toss and an arm drag, then arm drags Doc after Gordy tags him in. Ross reminds everyone that Doc is the final UWF World Champion while he and Steamboat grapple. I don’t know; I didn’t want to see Steamboat work for top control with Doc and Gordy. I wanted a greater contrast where Steamer tries to run a whole lot and keeps getting chopped down in between his attempts to leverage his speed and agility advantage. Now Koloff tags in and oh boy, this match is not very good so far. Maybe I was wrong about that quality floor. Doc and Gordy grappling with the Steiners works because they all tend to be really active in those holds and while leveraging for position. Nikita and Steamboat aren’t the Steiners when it comes to simulating amateur mat graps (for obvious reasons). At least Gordy and Koloff have a shoulderblock standoff in there. That ruled. But you know what would rule more? Doc and Gordy attempting to deal with Liger’s crazy ass as he attacks from every angle at high speed. As Ventura makes a kayfabe argument that Steamboat and Koloff should be making way more quick tags, I think to myself that it’s also a good shoot argument for how this match should be laid out. Steamboat does tag back in and finally ends up in peril, but instead of clubbing him down and really making him sell pain, they do some counter-mat wrestling with a Steamboat escape. I take some time to look up whether or not a Steamboat/Liger singles match exists and is on YouTube, but I just get a bunch of WWE 2K simulations. Dammit! Anyway, this match refuses to end already. Steamboat is doing some fine selling, but the crowd is tired and can’t get into yet another FIP segment, and frankly this segment came too late in the match for me. That’s not to say I don’t take enjoyment from Steamboat’s wobbly-legged selling or even the missed tag spot to delay the hot tag (as much as I don’t necessarily want to delay the hot tag any longer than needs must). The hot tag finally happens and is lukewarm, though Koloff shoulderblocking Gordy is unexpectedly for me a thing that I could watch on repeat. Just give me a match, three or four minutes long, of Gordy and Koloff trying to shoulderblock one another to the mat. The first one taken off their feet loses. This match just goes on forever. Why is there a lengthy STF struggle spot with Gordy and Koloff at this point? Maybe Watts should have booked a couple of singles matches on this show to break the monotony and also limit some of these longer matches. We couldn’t have a Scotty Flamingo/Brad Armstrong return bout for the Light Heavyweight title for ten or twelve minutes? Armstrong would have helped Flamingo to something good. This match won’t fucking END. Oh my gosh. Are we getting a second FIP/hot tag segment, and if so, why? Look, suffice it to say that we do get a second FIP and hot tag with Koloff as FIP this time, so let me just tell you how this eternal slog of a bout finally ends: Gordy shoves Steamboat off the top rope as Steamboat prepares a dive, and Steamboat lands right in the arms of Williams, who hits a spinebuster variation of an Oklahoma Stampede for three. Fucking finally. I rescind my former statement about the match floor, but only because Bill Watts thought that having these guys wrestle for four hours or whatever it happened to end up being was a good idea. Sign from the Jim Ross-hating fan standing right behind Jesse and Ross in the camera shot: JESSE VENTURA, DO YOUR MAYORAL DUTY: MAKE JIM ROSS A GARBAGE MAN. The guy sees he’s on camera and hits a big thumbs down right behind Ross’s shoulder. That was pretty funny! Hiroshi Hase and Shinya Hashimoto meet Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham in the other tournament semifinal. I suppose that the Steiners helping Rhodes and Windham beat Doc and Gordy in the final could also make a lot of sense. I will credit that there can be two possible finishes to the tournament, but still, the meat of the tournament seems so obvious in how the draw would go down as to be dull. They should have had more of the tournament off-PPV before Great American Bash and just had the semis and the finals at GAB. Bonus: The teams that already lost before the tournament started would have been freed up for singles matches on this show! Austin and Rude could have made TV and U.S. title defenses. If this card is as such: Vader vs. Sting (WCW World Heavyweight Championship), Rude vs. Liger (WCW U.S. Championship), Austin vs. Pillman (WCW World Television Championship), Armstrong vs. Flamingo (WCW Light Heavyweight Championship), Miracle Violence Connection vs. Steamboat/Koloff, and Hase/Hashimoto vs. Rhodes/Windham with (ostensibly) MVC vs. Rhodes/Windham in the final round, that’s a far more diverse and thus more watchable seven-match card than what we ended up getting. That’s my argument. And even that card isn’t optimal because Watts is trying to heat up Ron Simmons, so Simmons should really be on this card somehow and winning his match. Maybe feeding Cactus to Simmons here would be a good eighth match to add, assuming Mick isn’t suffering that bad abdominal tear that had him spitting up blood by this point. Alas, this is the card we have, however, so let us forge ahead. Y’know, Dustin Rhodes opens against Hiroshi Hase and I think that this is another singles match that I’d really like to watch. However, I don’t have it in me to talk a whole bunch about another slow-ish feeling out process in a tag match. One benefit of the Freebirds match from earlier tonight is that it was shorter and to the point. I appreciate the Greco-Roman knuckle lock challenges that Windham struggles to meet when his opponents challenge him, but it’s 1990 and these shows need more match variety in them. That’s why Beach Blast was so good – all the variety. The other issue is that a lot of this opening work is work to nowhere. We haven’t had one good limb damage story all night, which is especially a shame considering the array of excellent long-term damage sellers that were in this tournament. I’ll let you know when this matwork to nowhere ends up transitioning to work that goes somewhere. As an aside, I really am wistful about this New Japan partnership. It wouldn't have rocketed WCW to the number one promotion in the U.S. spot, but I really do wish that WCW leaned more on its New Japan partnership at this time and did a sort of proto-AEW style of presentation of its stars. WCW coming off as a true international company was a strength that maybe WCW should have gone ahead and leaned into more, though again, I’m not sure its core fanbase would have taken to it like the modern AEW fanbase does. Rhodes is FIP and has nice segments with Hase, who I wish stuck around in WCW for the rest of the year. I could watch Rhodes and Hase chop the shit out of one another in a three-month feud and fully enjoy it. The work these wrestlers are doing is good in a vacuum, but man, this show is not serving their effort very well. Hase finally whiffs on a top-rope kneedrop and eats a lariat as soon as he gets to his feet, allowing Rhodes to make the hot tag to Windham. Windham goes bananas, scores two floatover powerslams on Hase, and then catches him with a lariat after the match breaks down. Windham covers off that lariat and earns a three count; he and Rhodes also earn a spot in the tag title tournament finals. All Ron Simmons gets on this show is a short interview with Tony S. and Magnum TA. He calls it “the WCW” like he’s Bret Hart and then teases that he’s looking to take on the winner of the world championship match up next. On the one hand, it’s nice to have a singles match to break up the monotony. On the other hand, it’s a world title match and should go on last. On a third, maybe prehensile hand, the idea of having the babyface title victory go on last is reasonable should the babyfaces be booked to win it. On the fourth hand, Sting is way more over than Windham and Rhodes, so it’ll be cold comfort to the fans even if it happens. The point I’m trying to make is that I don’t like the match layout of this card at all. Sting breaks Flag Code like he’s Madusa as he enters the ring to defend the world title against Vader. Sting’s got a number of candidates for his best opponent, and Vader might just top that list. Vader backs Sting into the corner and pummels the champ with fists and forearms, then hits a short clothesline that sends Sting rolling to the floor. Sting tries to punch Vader when he enters the ring. It has no effect!! Sting tries a crossbody next. It has no effect!! Vader charges Sting in the corner, whiffs, and Sting back suplexes him on the rebound. It does some damage, for once. Sting clotheslines Vader over the top and to the floor, which means that Sting propelled Vader over the top rope, and this is a WCW-sanctioned match, so—you know what, never mind. Then again, maybe Sting should have advocated to get disqualified considering what happens to him by the end of this match. Vader challenges Sting to a test of strength, and Sting considers it, then pauses to get the lil’ Stingers to help fire him up. Vader wins that one, so Sting jabs Vader in the eye, punches him, stomps his toes, and knocks him to the apron before suplexing him back into the ring. I love it when babyfaces are crafty and do cheap and cheat-y type moves when overwhelmed. I always liked a smart babyface when I was a kid (and I abhorred a dumb one), so it works well for me. Sting has some momentum and follows up on the suplex with a lateral press that earns a two count and then a small package that earns two more. A bewildered Vader rolls outside and reassesses things before getting back in the ring and putting a halt to Sting’s sunset flip attempt by countering with a sitdown splash. Vader embarks upon a measured attack, hitting elbow drops and then a big splash for maybe a bit less than two as Sting frantically rolls a shoulder out from underneath the big man. After continuing his assault with kicks and a chokebomb, Vader steps over and bars Sting’s leg, then grabs Sting’s other leg, hooks him, and turns him over in a Scorpion Death Lock. It’s not a good version of that move, to say the least. That it isn’t is a shame, too, as this is a long spot. I feel that Sting, being a master of the hold, should break out of it quicker. That’s especially true considering that it also looks, uh, less than aesthetically pleasing and therefore not as kayfabe effective. Instead, Sting does a whole “endure and eventually power out with his legs” deal, which makes sense on one level, but which I think is less effective or logical than a Sting counter of the hold (or, if you really want to keep this endurance spot, not having that endurance spot specifically be the Scorpion Death Lock in the first place). This is a good match, but it’s definitely not Sting and Vader’s best together (that would be the King of Cable Match at Starrcade). I wish Vader had done more clubbering and high-impact spots to show how powerful he is instead of spending all that time in a submission hold. Sting manages to make a small comeback, landing a wheel kick that knocks Vader to the mat. Sting follows with a DDT and then slowly makes his way to his feet and runs at Vader, but they merely bonk into one another and Vader gets up first. Vader goes all the way up top, which I will remind you is illegal in this match and only this match on this specific show, and Sting stops him by kicking him, which is another mistake, as it turns out. Vader is knocked into a prone position across the top rope, so Sting hoists him up and lands a Samoan drop, but he again is slow to cover and only gets 2.5. Gosh, Sting is selling his strain and exhaustion so expertly, but I just don’t think Vader’s offense was dynamic enough to make Sting’s selling feel in line with the damage that he took. Well, folks, this is WCW, so whether we’re in the Nitro Era or not, it’s time for a fucking ref bump. This time, Vader tries to hoist up Sting, who inadvertently kicks the poorly-positioned ref as he goes up and flips behind Vader. The poor dumb ref is therefore late to counting the pinfall as Sting hits a German suplex and bridges for what should have been three but what was only 2.7. Sting tries to finish Vader off, landing one Stinger Splash and then overjumping on the second one and bashing his head off the steel cable that connects the turnbuckle to the post. Sting does a blade job and then slides to the mat, where he kicks out at 2.7 when Vader covers him. Alas, the worked head injury signals the end for Sting, who can’t connect with a pair of wild haymakers. Sting collapses to the mat, and Vader picks him right up, powerbombs him, and covers him for the three and the gold. Sting put on maybe the best sell job I’ve ever seen from him in his life and one that was on par with Rick Rude’s match-long rib injury sell at Beach Blast but in this case, the match could have used a couple more minutes of heel control and maybe excised the long submission spot to be replaced instead with more high-impact Vader offense that would be worthy of Sting’s selling. That match was still strong, of course, but it was strangely sort of a letdown as well. Ron Simmons and Nikita Koloff, along with a group of referees, help a wobbly Sting from the ring after the bout. Jesse, good ol’ J.R., Tony S., and Magnum dissect Sting’s loss; Tony kicks it to Eric Bischoff, who interviews the new champion and his manager Harley Race. Harley cuts a nice promo celebrating his man: “This man is the greatest athlete on God’s green earth, and we just showed every single lil’ Stinger out there that THE MYTH IS GONE. THE MYTH HAS BEEN DESTROYED. *points at Vader* THIS IS THE KING OF ATHLETES!” Vader speaks and is, uh, less articulate, but he yells a lot, and he’s a peak yeller in pro wrestling interviews, so it’s fine. Mercifully, finally, this night-long NWA World Tag Team Championship tournament is coming to an end. The Steiner Brothers storm out as soon as the Miracle Violence Connection, Dustin Rhodes, and Barry Windham are in the ring; officials block their path and send them packing. I eyeball the time left in the recording – about 29 minutes. *sigh*, this is going to be another match that goes five-plus minutes too long. Then again, we need a lot of time to have a super-slow, super-grinding opening with a lot of mat graps that go nowhere in particular! There’s not much more I can say about this show and the way it’s been laid out that won’t just be annoyingly repetitive, so I’ll just shorthand this main event by telling you the stuff that seems to matter. Jesse essentially argues that the lack of ethical behavior by the heels is really just a mirror of our political system and the society that the system reinforces. He didn’t argue it exactly like that, but trust me, that’s basically what he said. There are lots of chinlocks and headlocks and some sprawling. Rhodes is FIP for a bit; after he’s done, Windham is FIP for a bit. Jesse does great work in trying to enhance the kayfabe strategy behind the match with his commentary. The big issue with the Miracle Violence Connection in 1992 WCW is that WCW’s fans like wrestling, but maybe not this type of “spend most of the match on the mat like it’s ‘70s All Japan again” wrestling, so the crowd struggles to get into things. Dustin’s babyface fire is excellent. WCW’s roster in 1992 might have been the most top-heavy roster in terms of talent. Like the ten, maybe twelve best guys in the company have 90% of the total roster talent, Anyway, Dustin never makes a hot tag; he tries a bulldog on Doc, but gets shoved out of that move and into Gordy on the apron as a counter; delirious, Rhodes stumbles right into a Doc lariat that puts his lights out. Doc and Gordy add the NWA World Tag Team Championships to their WCW World Tag Team Championships. This crowd sounds pretty bummed, but not in a “nuclear heat” sort of way. More in a “I really would have liked at least a few more babyface victories” sort of way. After the match, the MVCs cut a promo that is better than you would guess based on the speakers involved. Well, that’s probably not fair to Gordy. Doc is better than you would guess, though. The Steiners don’t even walk out and face off with them or anything*fart noises*. As bad as WrestleWar’s undercard is, at least it had two high-level bouts. GAB ’92 had a higher floor, but a much lower ceiling. I prefer high ceiling/low floor over low ceiling/high floor, which probably isn’t going much out on a limb to say!

They got away with it in 1989 because of the especially high match quality and Funk's great heel performance. Anyway, they should have crowned Sid before he jetted up north somewhere in that 1990/1991 period, but they biffed it.

Clicked on the WCW Watch Party stream just to see if they'd shifted the programming loop for while I work, and Scott Hall's turn on Kevin Nash at Slamboree 98 was a massive error. The Outsiders are massively over with this crowd and the Wolfpac is beloved. If Hall weren't an unreliable alcoholic, WCW could have run with him on top and been very successful. I think his level of stardom during this time is badly underrated. Hell, the crowd still wanted him to be the champ when he last appeared in WCW at SuperBrawl 2000. He was always about as over as Goldberg.

Bret was a heel for most of his run, though. He simply wasn't going to work in that role because he didn't work in that role when he was actually in it. I don't think that bringing him in as a heel or changing his feud partners changes that. There are, of course, extenuating circumstances. Nash gaining power as a booker until he essentially was head of creative by late 1998 is one, but in Bret's book, he notes that his dragged-out divorce during 1998 put him in a bad mental health space and specifically points out his underwhelming match with babyface Sting at Havoc '98 as one that wasn't very good because he was in no place to put on good wrestling matches. All of this is to say that maybe the answer is that there is no fantasy booking that makes Bret Hart's WCW run a successful one even if you remove Nash from the equation (though Bischoff in 1998 is trying to balance keeping Hogan happy with keeping Nash happy as his first concern rather than putting on good wrestling shows as his first concern, so forget just not making Nash the booker). Also, though I could be inferring this in a biased way based on what I preferred as a fan, watching those shows, I don't think Bret is into being a heel, either. His work is always better and more motivated when he's a babyface in WCW. The best thing he did as a heel was in his last appearance, when he cut a great worked-shoot promo on Goldberg (and Diana Myers), and obviously he had reasons to be motivated to be excellent at that.

I'd love some Boston Brawl or the named-before-its-time Malice at the Palace, both of which I believe were PPLs. There was one done in the Seattle area, too, come to think of it. I don't think the bolded follows. One can be undeniably a sympathetic babyface without being the top babyface. Him putzing around the midcard had nothing to do with his being a face, IMO. Bischoff signed him at a point where Kevin Nash, certified Bret Hart hater, got a lot of pull in the booking of the shows. That's the reason that it took until Vince Russo came in for Hart to get any type of sustained featured push (though Russo also turned him heel like the fucking bonehead that Russo is). I don't see him reprising his "heel in the U.S., babyface in Canada" character as meaningfully heat-filled. He essentially did that character without as much of the flag-fucking in 1998 anyway, and none of it mattered because a) it was a character that was well past its mid-1997 peak and b) Nash was still in control and booking most of the show into oblivion. Bret as a heel didn't exactly catch fire in late 1999/early 2000 either in the short time that Bret was around in that role. I'm genuinely curious how you'd facilitate the finish to Bret/Hogan because reading between the lines whenever Bischoff brought it up on his podcast, neither guy was remotely interested in any kind of job to the other, even a protected one. I will agree with you that Steiner should have gotten a clean win over Goldberg at some point; WCW botched their chance at Fall Brawl 2000. Steiner, not Luger and Buff, should have been the one to send him packing from WCW during that nu-Streak angle IMO.

I think that if WCW had committed to something like the Wolfpac teaming up with DDP, Sting, and Goldberg to vanquish Hollywood and then having DDP, Sting, Goldberg, and one other person (Hitman?) then defeat the Wolfpac in a War Games match at Starrcade '98, it could have worked. The problem is that Eric Bischoff was committeed to running with Hulk Hogan on top. Hogan gets the belt back early in 1998 when a guy like DDP was ready for it. DDP therefore doesn't get the belt until 1999, well after his peak as a babyface. Then in 1999, Hogan gets the belt back as a babyface while Goldberg is focused on the "Being Goldberg" Championship and Sting is booked into the ground. Then, in 2000, Hogan was getting the belt back again until Vince Russo finally just up and sent him packing by shooting on him. Meanwhile, Scott Steiner should have been the champion at this point, erratic behavior or no, and doesn't get the gold until the company is two feet in the grave and pouring dirt over itself. If Bischoff could have weaned himself off of pushing his buddy the Hulkster, he'd have had room to, say, job him to Nash and then send him home for a while until bringing him back as a special attraction babyface and fencing him off in feuds with other fading legends, which was a good use for him. Bischoff was mesmerized (or as Scotty Steiner would say, MEZMERMIZED) by Hulk, though. I agree with this, but... ...I don't think Bret Hart can come in as a heel. Even with the claim that Hart was so bad that the WWF screwed him over, a) that was the first huge backstage wrestling story where a lot of the crowd knew that Vince had screwed him IRL and b) Vince is the enemy to WCW fans, so they're not going to go, "Yeah, good point, Vince probably just had to get rid of this evil guy." Really, there was no point at which Bret should have been a heel in WCW. He had sympathy from the Screwjob, and by the time that about ran out, Owen passed and he had sympathy for losing his younger brother.

I'm actually passable at racing in Mario Kart World, which is totally down to having the free roam mode to practice within. I'm ten question mark panels away from completing those, but I still have about 35 Princess Medallions and who knows how many P-Switches to go. I'll finish this up over time and maybe even unlock Mirror Mode if that means I get to do it all again, but in reverse. This seems like a game that I will come back to throughout the Switch 2's run. I have been slowly playing RDR2, and by "slowly," I mean that I did enough missions to unlock the poker and blackjack tables and then commenced to hunting, exploring for treasure, crafting, cataloguing flora and fauna, stumbling across dinosaur bones and carvings of futuristic scenes (the latter of which I can't send the coordinates for yet because I forgot where Strawberry is located and am having too much fun slowly traveling the map to find it), and doing everything but putting Arthur on track for his utlimate demise. No wonder the Ross and the FIB members found our camp; I've spent in-game weeks, maybe months, doing anything but advancing the storyline. I need to look up whichever quest unlocks fishing and then immediately stop doing quests that advance the main story again. I almost broke Balatro twice, but the last time, with NaN in sight, I biffed it, and I haven't had it in me to try again since then. Baron + a shitload of steel King cards + a duplicated Lucky Cat is pretty great, though! I can report that much.

WCW Beach Blast 1992 notes: After working through months of bad WCW shows, I wanted to watch a couple of good ones, so let’s start with what is one of my favorite WCW shows if not my absolute favorite (we'll find out upon this reassessment): Beach Blast ’92! Actually, having watched WrestleWar ’92 a few months back, I plan to watch Great American Bash ’92 after I watch Beach Blast ’92 just to complete the string of PPVs that bridged the K. Allen Frye and Bill Watts regimes. And quite honestly, WCW for all its faults is currently my favorite promotion ever in the world. It might be largely due to nostalgia, but there is something comforting about having a random string of WCWSN matches playing in the background. I might have written about this show here before, maybe? I can’t remember, and it doesn’t matter anyway. WrestleWar ’92 was a two-match show, but Beach Blast should deliver more than that. Tony S. and Eric Bischoff introduce the show and even bring Bill Watts in to help hype the show. Now, WrestleWar ’92 had arguably the best match in WCW history on it (War Games), but Beach Blast also has a contender for that title in Steamboat/Rude, which I cannot wait to see again [Editor's note: Two contenders because I could understand why someone would name Cactus/Sting as the best WCW match of all time even if I don't think I'd agree with it]. Jim Ross is on commentary for this thing; he tries to drag Jesse Ventura to ringside, but Jesse’s lounging on a chair with a few ladies in bikinis. Ventura finally, reluctantly walks over to do his job. I wonder why WCW changed the name from Beach Blast to Bash at the Beach, but if we take these shows as basically the same show with a changed name, it has a very high hit rate of awesome shows and great matches. Then there’s 1999, but we don’t talk about 1999. Scotty Flamingo opens the show in contention for Brian Pillman’s WCW Light Heavyweight Championship. As a huge fan of Flamingo/Johnny Polo/Raven, I’m always glad to see him on my screen. Flamingo and Pillman trade counters to start before Flamingo opens up with fists and gets the match moving. Unfortunately for him, he moves himself right into a Pillman flash pinfall attempt for two and decides to beg off rather than eat a punch on the follow-up. Flamingo gets to his feet, then gets right back, uh, not to his feet as Pillman hooks an armbar. Flamingo manages to maneuver Pillman onto his shoulders and hooks the tights, but can only score a couple of two counts. Pillman reasserts the armbar, and when Flamingo gets to standing and shoots him in to break it, he wins a shoulderblock and an arm drag before going right back to the arm wringer. The challenger looks entirely outclassed; he gets to the ropes and tries to use them for leverage, I suppose, instead of just asking the ref to break the hold. Anyway, it doesn’t work, and Flamingo once again ends up tied into knots on the mat. He finally gets a break in the corner and attempts some offense, but summarily eats a head scissors and then a dropkick that leaves him hanging by his toes over the top rope. Pillman walks over and unhooks him, the nice guy that he is…oh wait, there are no protective mats on the floors anymore due to Watts, so Flamingo smacks the cold, hard floor. I mean, Pillman is kicking the shit out of Flamingo. He fakes a dive to the floor before hitting a double-axe. However, the capricious nature of Bill Watts’s WCW giveth, and it very much taketh away because Pillman leaps up to the top rope in a frenzy, ready to press his advantage, before he remembers that – oops! – hitting a move from there is a disqualification now! Personally, if I were the champion, I’d launch anyway and then take my belt right back to the locker room, but Pillman is a dumb babyface, so he hesitates and is therefore open for Pillman to grab him and hit him with a Rocket Launcher before taking over for the first time all match. Flamingo (dammit, I keep typing "Raven" and then deleting) tosses Pillman to the floor – through the middle ropes, mind you – and then springboards over with a crossbody before putting Pillman back in the ring and giving him the boots. Y’know, I do appreciate what WCW’s wrestlers were able to do with the “no moves from the top” rule, but the limiting nature of that rule outweighs the creative spots that people can manage with them. I do get a kick out of Watts trying to turn every WCW event into the TV tapings at Irish McNeil’s, though. I can imagine Watts addressing the removal of the mats to the locker room: We didn’t have any mats in Shreveport, dammit! We don’t need ‘em here! What are you complainers anyway, pussies or Commies or something? Gary Michael Capetta lets us know that we’re ten minutes into this bout as Johnny “the Raven” Flamingo lands a fistdrop from the second rope. OK, that is illogical. Why is dropping a fist from the second rope okay, but dropping it from the top rope illegal? Give me a reason in kayfabe that rule makes sense. You can’t. Pillman scores a crossbody for two, but is immediately hit with a lariat when he gets to his feet, as is the way of a heel reasserting control after a flash pinfall attempt from the babyface here in WCW. Flamingo goes to the chinlock and hooks the ropes with his boots besides, then transitions into a cover for two before…*sigh*, going back to the chinlock. Ventura points out that this is a resthold for Flamingo, but not for Pillman since Pillman is in the hold, but if that were true, babyfaces wouldn’t routinely fight out of these holds and turn the tide, as Pillman does here. He manages to work to his feet, land a few elbows to the gut and a shoulderblock, and then dodge a Flamingo corner splash when Flamingo tries to halt Pillman’s momentum. This match is decent, but the middle here with Flamingo in control isn’t very good. He gets up first even after his whiff and then, oh boy, it’s another chinlock and a couple of chokes. He’s still rounding into form as a heel in control. His bumping and selling are very good at this point, but he’s low on ideas when he’s got protracted control of the match. Anyway, Pillman and Flamingo trade counters and do a Superman/Doomsday punch spot. They get to their knees and choke one another, but Flamingo stops that with an eye rake and goes to the second rope again, where his double axe attempt is cut off in midair by a Pillman dropkick. Pillman turns up the heat with a wheel kick, a buckle bonk, and a series of punches in the corner. Flamingo does manage to counter a charging Pillman with a floatover powerslam for two, however, and gets back to his feet first. Flamingo tries to shoot Pillman in, but Pillman sells a knee injury and collapses as Flamingo tries to shoot him in. It’s a ruse, which Flamingo would guess if he just thought for a second that he hadn’t worked the knee at all, but instead, the dopey heel celebrates the damage that he hasn’t done and gets back suplexed by the possum-playing Pillman. Pillman’s cover only gets two, though. What will end this match? Pillman sure tries to finish it with a face crusher and a pair of clotheslines, the last one knocking Flamingo onto the raised ramp. Pillman’s feeling himself and attempts a suicide dive, but Flamingo wobbles out of the way and Pillman slams his head into the ramp. A concussed Pillman crawls back into the ring and never sees Flamingo’s second rope kneedrop; that puts Pillman down for good as Flamingo covers, gets three, and earns the Light Heavyweight Championship. That was an uneven bout, but it was generally enjoyable, though part of what worked so well for me is tracking Scott Levy’s development as a wrestler. A peeved Jesse Ventura complains about the sexually fluid Johnny B. Badd judging tonight’s bikini competition. Ventura: “I don’t even think he likes girls!” I don’t know, some of these sexually fluid and genderfluid dudes get numbers, and not just the numbers of dudes or other equally fluid folks. Badd, who is just supremely entertaining, announces this three-round contest that is based completely on looks. My brain says, Man, that’s regressive. My T-levels say, Awesome, let’s do this! We start with the first round: evening gowns. Missy Hyatt walks out to pops and wolf whistles; her opponent is Madusa, who wears a veil like this is some type of wedding, and yet I don’t see Colonel Robert Parker or Sister Sherri or a drive-up wedding chapel anywhere in sight. I forgot that these are the only two women in this contest, so my T-levels have sort of checked out or lowered or whatever T-levels do when they’re disengaged. Ron Simmons attempts to drag Terry Taylor’s sorry ass to something watchable. I have no idea why everyone thought Taylor was the next big thing in the ‘80s. He’s ‘80s Lance Storm except that Storm is a much more fun worker and actually a much better heel, come to think of it. In retrospect, I just drastically undersold what a good midcard talent Storm is in that comparison I just made. Simmons, on the other hand, rules as usual. I like Butch Reed a whole lot, but if Simmons is in Reed’s place in mid-‘80s Mid-South, Watts would have had his black babyface replacement for JYD. Simmons’s babyface charisma is different from JYD’s, but I think Louisiana, Mississippi, and Oklahoma would have taken to him. Anyway, at least Taylor is mechanically sound and is a solid bumper. Simmons overpowers him early, presses him from the ramp back into the ring, and then clotheslines Taylor over the top; Taylor hits his head on a chair at commentary upon landing, and that spot looked pretty nasty. As in the previous match, the babyface shine looks like an obliteration. Simmons wraps Taylor in a bear hug, but Taylor makes his way out and then dives out of the way of a Simmons spear attempt; Simmons crashes out on the ramp. Unlike Pillman’s crash out, which came from a higher leaping point and at the end of a long and grueling match, Simmons’s crash out affords some dull heel control to Taylor, but it doesn’t result in a three count. Taylor goes right to a fucking chinlock after about three moves, actually. This dude is the epitome of an incomplete wrestler. Decent booker, though. Simmons fights back with a chokebomb and some punches, then scores a big back body drop and a shoulderblock. Simmons shoots Taylor in, and Taylor barely clears Simmons’s duck down with a leapfrog; Simmons probably needed to duck down a bit more, actually. As it happens, Taylor rebounds of the ropes and right into a crisp floatover powerslam that he doesn’t kick out of as the building of Ron Simmons toward the main event continues. After the match, Jim Ross helps along that building of Simmons by interviewing Simmons after the match and gratuitously pointing out what a roll Simmons has been on lately. Simmons says that your race and income level don’t matter as long as you have the drive to be the best, but I think this is a simple answer to a complex sociological problem. I don’t know about this next bout: a green Marcus Alexander Bagwell locks it up with Greg Valentine. I’ll keep an open mind. Bagwell might have less experience, but he has more speed, and he uses it to win a series of arm drags to start. Valentine solves that “speedy kid running rings around me” deal with boots and a forearm, but Bagwell backdrops his way out of Valentine’s follow-up piledriver attempt and manages to score an atomic drop and two dropkicks, sending Valentine to the floor to consider how he can better use his experience and weight advantage to control the match. What he apparently considered is letting Bagwell try another arm drag so that he could lariat the shit out of him. Good idea, Valentine! Valentine lands chops and a rib breaker, then goes up to the second rope, where he whiffs on an elbow drop. Bagwell slams Valentine, but he misses his follow up kneedrop and clutches his injured patella – uh oh. Valentine duly works the injured knee to set up for a figure four. The first time that Valentine tries a Figure Four, Bagwell manages to counter into an inside cradle for two. Bagwell continues trying to find a way out of trouble, countering into multiple other flash pins as Valentine tries to advance his attack. He even manages a floatover vertical suplex on that knee he’s selling, but that also only gets two. However, as his adrenaline picks up and he ignores the knee injury, he tries a leapfrog that reminds him he has a knee injury. Valiantly, the rookie gets to his feet and tries to throw fists on his injured leg, but Valentine slips a right hand, lands a knee drop, and locks on a Figure Four that Bagwell fights, but eventually submits to. See, that’s why you keep an open mind. This was a fun little match that got Bagwell over as a fightin’ babyface who fell to an experienced wrestler’s targeted attack on an injury. It won’t change your life, but it will feel nourishing to any wrestling fan who consumes it. Bagwell did a good job with selling the knee. I managed to only type the name “Buff” twice in those previous two bullets (before deleting it and muttering “dammit” as I did), by the way. Yes, I am proud of this. Recap: Cactus Jack leads Van Hammer through an entertaining match in some rodeo grounds somewhere; Abdullah the Butcher intervenes with a shovel to Hammer’s back. Jesse Ventura sells that Cactus is in his element in a Falls Count Anywhere match based on his success putting Van Hammer down outside of the ring. Here comes the first match of the night that completely rules: Cactus Jack gets a shot at Sting’s WCW World Heavyweight Championship in the middle of this card, which seems weird. It certainly signals that we wouldn’t be seeing a title change. The crowd is hot for Jack and Sting squaring off on the ramp and firing fists at one another. Sting earns a backslide on the ramp for one, then back body drops Cactus’s considerable girth onto the ramp. That impact makes a great sound on top of looking good. Sting follows up with a facebuster for two. I love that these two didn’t bother with ramping up the nuttiness over time and just started out throwing bombs. Sting leaps out of the fucking building on a Stinger Splash attempt as Cactus slumps against a corner strut; he runs down the rampway and misses badly, launching himself up and over the top rope and into the ring. It’s a great visual. Sting rolls back out to the floor immediately, and Cactus follows with a Cactus Elbow on concrete. Mick Foley just didn’t give a fuck, did he? He grabs his knee momentarily, and I think that though this is setting a matchlong seed, he might have legit injured it there, maybe? I’m trying to remember from his book. I mean, he dropped that knee on concrete! Mick hits a swinging neckbreaker, and both men SPLAT on the matless floor. I mean, this match sounds like it hurts in a way that wrestling matches typically do not. This match might have some of the nastiest audio that I’ve ever heard because of how these fellas are taking moves on the ramp and the floor. Mick’s nutty ass next hits a diving sunset flip on Sting from the apron to the floor for two. I mean, what the fuck? You know, as a kid, I saw Cactus doing stuff like this and thought it was cool, but I’m not sure I quite understood the gravity of the risks that Foley was taking, whereas now, just about everything he’s doing makes me wince. Sting reverses a bash into the guardrail, but Sting reverses and the front row fans are fuckin’ LOVING it. Cactus charges Sting at the railing, but Sting backdrops him over it and then hops over and hits a fucking vertical suplex on the floor. That gets a well-timed 2.9, but if it had gotten three, I would have believed it. No wonder Sting liked working with Cactus; Foley is out here taking years off his life to get Sting over as a tough guy. Did anything make Sting more legit than surviving wars with Cactus and Vader in 1992 and 1993? I always found him to be a giant dork as a very young kid, and was kind of dismissive of him, but I do remember liking him way more at some point in 1993. Anyway, they actually slow things down back in the ring, where Foley tears at Sting’s face while yelling GIVE IT UP, STING, GIVE IT UP. He makes the oopsie of disrespectfully slapping him, though, which causes Sting to fire up and get to his feet. Cactus, trying to stanch Sting’s momentum, does the logical thing that one would do and scores a double-leg takedown before transitioning into a legbar. No, wait, sorry, I got that all wrong. What he does is hit a wild lariat that sends both men tumbling to the floor in another visual spectacle of a spot. Jesse Ventura is doing a fine job of selling how much danger Sting is in whenever the match leaves the confines of the ring. Cactus grabs a chair (kid in the crowd, insistently: CHAIR! STING, HE’S GOT A CHAIR!). Sting doesn’t hear any warnings, though, and eats a series of chair shots to the stomach and back. Cactus thinks he’s in control, fires off his finger guns, grabs Sting in a headlock…and is hoisted backward and hit with a back suplex on the concrete. Cactus’s boot hitting the railing as his head landed near it had the audio effect of making it seem like maybe his head also hit the railing on the way down. I actually played it back, and Cactus protected his head, but sold it like it did rap the guardrail, so he made sure his boot hit the railing at the same time that his head came down with great timing because it fooled me in real time. Between this and that earlier 2.9 kickout, Cactus’s timing is on point tonight in general. The thing about Cactus is that he comes off as a slasher flick villain who is dented and damaged, but who refuses to be put down. The bedraggled nutbar kicks out of Sting’s cover on the back suplex, drags himself to his feet, and wins a punch-up. After exchanging flash pin attempt reversals on the floor (!!), Cactus uses Sting’s momentum as Sting leaps at him to dump the champion across the railing. Jack follows up with a very safe piledriver on the floor, though commentary covers it by saying that Cactus’s knee that he injured earlier gave out and that he didn’t catch Sting properly. In fact, as Cactus goes up for another Cactus Elbow, Sting is quickly up and able to throw a fist into his gut, so yeah, that checks out from a kayfabe standpoint. The match makes its way back to the rampway where it started; Sting dominates, slams Jack, grabs a chair, and exacts his chair-smashing revenge on Cactus. The last one of those is aimed at the knee; Jack topples to the ramp, clutching his knee, and Sting goes for a Scorpion Deathlock. In a panic, Cactus sprawls and rolls off the ramp, breaking the hold and toppling Sting to the floor along with him. The crowd thought that Sting had him, and they get very quiet and don’t pop after Sting kicks out of a Cactus follow-up Buff Bagwell Kenta Kobashi DDT. The one mistake of this match might have been failing to end it with the Scorpion Deathlock on the rampway. Instead, Sting makes one final comeback after the kickout and retains the title with a diving clothesline from the top to the ramp. This is obviously still a classic, though. Jack squeals in rage and also maybe pain as ref Bill Alfonso awards the WCW World Championship to the Stinger. I loved this match and would argue that Sting and Cactus are a pairing made in wrestling heaven for one another’s styles. There’s an interstitial with Tony S. and Eric Bischoff transitioning us from the magic of Sting/Cactus to the equally awesome, yet totally different magic of Steamboat/Rude. I cannot fucking believe that WCW booked Cactus/Sting and Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat in the Iron Man Match back to back. Is this the best pair of WCW matches booked back to back in the company’s history? Maybe Spring Stampede 1994 has a pair of matches that give some competition? As much as I liked Steiners vs. Iizuka and Fujinami/War Games as a pairing at WrestleWar ’92, I can’t say that it’s a better back-to-back pairing than these two matches. Anyway, here’s Rick Rude, the current WCW United States Champion, to tell all the fat, out-of-shape, etc., etc., folks to look at his magnificent abs, and in fairness to him, you could grate cheese with those things. Sadly, his Slam Jam theme does not play as he poses. Here comes Ricky Steamboat with Bonnie and Richie. We get our first Jesse Ventura Reads the Papers moment of the night, as Jesse is annoyed with the ostentatious family values posturing and then claims that the next thing to happen will be Dan Quayle walking out and lecturing the crowd on a similar subject. Ross retorts that Steamboat can spell the word “potatoe.” No, wait, “potato.” That’s how you spell it. Sorry, my bad. I promise not to run for VPOTUS after making an error like that. This exchange inspires Ross to also compare Rude’s popularity in the arena to Ice-T’s popularity at a policeman’s ball. Some people don’t like the pairing of Ross and Ventura, which I suppose that I understand, but I really dig them together. Ventura makes Ross a bit uncomfortable, and the friction that arises from Ross trying to handle Ventura’s style of heel commentating is highly entertaining to me. Anyway, Steamboat gets right to it as the match starts and catches an advancing Rude with punches, then drills him in the solar plexus with a gutbuster. Rude sells a rib injury, and Steamboat presses the advantage, whipping Rude into the air and down to the mat rather than firing him into the ropes. Steamboat measures a series of kicks and forearms to Rudes’s ribs, and Rude does his great selling of them, staggering, twisting his body around theatrically in pain. I adore Rude’s style of selling. It’s like he never forgot how to contort his body painfully like he did when he was the lanky guy he started out as, so even as packed with muscle as he is now, he still sells like a lanky dude with not enough padding to blunt the pain. The visual of this huge muscly dude selling like a 98-pound weakling is striking. Steamboat locks on a bearhug and then drives Rude back into he corner, but Rude puts a knee up and catches Steamboat in his recently-healed face; Ross helpfully reminds us that Rude broke Steamboat’s nose in kayfabe a couple months back. However, Rude’s really got nothing for Steamboat and walks himself right into a fireman’s carry position; Sting dumps Rude and locks on a funky-looking surfboard. In desperation, Rude rakes Steamboat’s eyes to break it, but when Rude tries to monkeyflip Steamboat as Steamboat charges back, Steamboat grabs Rude’s legs and transitions into a Boston Crab that becomes a Lion Tamer in there for a bit as Rude tries to fight out. Rude attempts to get to the ropes. He crawls…and crawls…and each time he reaches out for the ropes, Steamboat sits deep on the Boston Crab, causing Rude enough pain that he pulls his arm back. Rude finally manages to grab the bottom rope, getting a break, so Steamboat breaks and immediately dumps Rude, splashes him across the back and ribs, and drops a bunch of knees right into Rude’s ribcage. Steamboat kicks Rude in the ribs, yells GET UP RUDE as Rude collapses, and generally is fired up to beat the shit out of this guy who claimed that he beat women because Madusa slapped him and he slapped her back as a mindless reaction, such as a pro wrestler might do, before apologizing profusely to her. As Madusa would learn later in the ‘90s, if you slap a dude, he’ll be liable to put you in his finisher. Back in ’92, it’s not like Steamboat got Madusa’s ass FRRRRRANCHISED or anything so egregious as that! Anyway, Steamboat lands a front suplex and a forearm, then covers for two. Rude kicking out of all this damage is pretty impressive from a kayfabe standpoint. Steamboat presses the attack, but he is so overzealous that he runs himself into a Rude knee that hits him flush on the jaw and stuns him for three seconds as Rude pins him at about eight minutes in [Rude 1 – Steamboat – 0]. Ventura puts over the capricious nature of pro wrestling, in which one can dominate for stretches at a time, but find themselves looking at the lights because of a flash strike or counter-move. Rude hobbles to his feet, knowing that he’d damned well better capitalize on this, and quickly lands a Rude Awakening and covers for another pinfall [Rude 2 – Steamboat – 0]. Here’s where kayfabe strategy comes into play, and I can’t give Jesse Ventura enough credit for his work on color to get that strategy over. He suggests that Rude tie Steamboat in knots, maybe a few rest holds, to avoid mistakes, lower the chances of eating a pinfall, eat time, and recover a bit. He even considers that Rude might want to try another impact move and pinfall first if Rude’s feeling that his lead is unsafe, then do the rest hold strategy. However, he doesn’t agree with that impact move coming off the top rope, which is what Rude chooses to do. This is an interesting part of kayfabe strategy in Iron Man Matches, maybe one of my favorite parts of that strategy. Do you try to do damage with an illegal move or weapon, eat a DQ loss, but then get more pinfalls off the illegal move than you lost with the DQ decision? Rude calculates that dropping another one of his deadly knees from the top will do more long-term damage that is worth eating a DQ for [Rude 2 – Steamboat – 1]. As we will find out later, he is very, very wrong about that. I love that maybe the whole story of this match centers around three clear things: 1) Rude’s accumulated rib damage; 2) Steamboat being half-concussed on account of Rude’s knee strikes; and 3) Rude’s pivotal decision to come off the top with a kneedrop and give up a fall instead of maybe just dropping that knee from the second rope. Giving up a fall turns out to be a kayfabe mistake made in the heat of battle and the haze of pain. Fuck, I love this match. Rude follows the DQ ruling with an inside cradle that scores three [Rude 3 – Steamboat – 1]. However, I would argue that in kayfabe, the downtime from the ref announcing the decision and then Rude’s slow follow-up with an inside cradle allows Steamboat to clear a few cobwebs; Steamboat fires back with punches, so Rude smashes Steamboat’s face into the mat and then locks on a good-looking chinlock to keep Steamboat grounded. However, we still have about eighteen minutes, so Steamboat works up. Rude hits a seated splash to knock Steamer back to the mat, then does that awesome spot where he tries to swivel his hips in celebration, but is too hurt to complete his taunt, grabbing his ribs instead. Once again, Rude attempts a chinlock, but Steamboat gets to his knees, then stands up with Rude still on his shoulders and falls backward. Scrambling to his feet, Steamboat tries to follow with a huge running splash, but he eats knees. Rude follows with a swinging neckbreaker, but it only gets two, as do his duo of follow-up pinfall covers. We’re now halfway through, with Steamboat trying to up the pace and Rude smartly grabbing another chinlock to stop all that nonsense. Jesse argues that if the score is tied, there should be sudden death. You think he complained about this to former broadcast partner Gorilla Monsoon over the phone before this event and Monsoon remembered their conversation during WrestleMania XII? That’s my headcanon. Steamboat works back to his feet, but Rude lands a piledriver for 2.8; Rude bitches to Pee-Wee Anderson about the cadence of his count, then tries a Tombstone piledriver that Ricky reverses and drills for three at about 12:15 left to go [Rude 3 – Steamboat – 2]. Slowly, Steamboat gets to his feet and once again advances, but a seated rude grabs Ricky’s tights and yanks him headfirst into the buckles. Rude goes up top again, which is a major mistake, but Steamboat makes a mistake about as bad and catches him, then lands a superplex that is legal since both men are up top. Yeah, I don’t remember superplexes being illegal in Mid-South, so that tracks. Steamboat’s delayed cover gets only two, and his slow follow-up clothesline is met with a clothesline in kind from Rude. The ref starts a standing ten-count; Rude slithers on top of Steamboat for a cover, but Steamboat bridges up and backslides Rude for three at nine-and-a-half minutes remaining [Rude 3 – Steamboat – 3]. Steamboat now attempts a rapid-fire approach, immediately trying a couple of flash pinfalls and a cross body into a cover, all of which only get two; Rude stops the onslaught of pinfall attempts with a jawbreaker. Both men struggle to their feet, but Rude is the one to score by slamming Steamboat face-first into the mat a couple times (and yelling at Steamer with what sounds like exultant joy YOU AIN’T NO IRON MAN, C’MON after doing so). However, Rude’s lateral press only earns a two count. Rude has re-asserted himself as time winds down, but as this is non-title, maybe he should be pressing more for a win. If it were for the title, he’d have a clear advantage in that he didn’t have to win to retain his gold, but in a match that’s just about pride, a draw means little. Rude cuts Steamboat’s comebacks off and even hits a bicep pose (though not a double-bicep pose as lifting his arm on the side that his ribs have been attacked would hurt too much). Rude is doing a masterclass of selling in this match. I mean, Steamboat is an all-time elite seller and is only the second-best guy at selling moves in this bout. That speaks volumes. As Rude continues his assault, he tries a Rude Awakening, but Steamboat manages to break the hold and then land a Rude Awakening of his own. As he is not the master of that hold, it only earns two when Rude puts his boot over the bottom rope. Steamboat is irritated at the ref stopping his count, not having seen Rude drape his boot over the rope; Ventura calls for a DQ ruling as Ricky accosts Pee-Wee. We are under five minutes here as Steamboat attempts a series of pinfalls after moves. A back suplex doesn’t work, and shortly after that, Rude grabs a desperation sleeper and cinches it in deeply, even as Steamboat tries to break it by ramming Rude’s head into the buckles. Steamboat looks like he’s going out, but he manages to stumble toward the ropes. Rude kicks his arm down multiple times as he reaches for the ropes, but Steamboat is right in the corner as we go under two minutes. Maybe in kayfabe, Rude should have dropped the hold and tried another move because it took him a long time to get Steamboat down to the mat, and Steamboat has fought the hold’s effects for a long time. In fact, Steamboat leverages his legs onto the ropes and then flips backward in that Hart/Piper leveraged pinfall spot; Steamboat gets three and merely has to survive about forty seconds of Rude’s frantic pinfall attempts, which he does. Rude doesn’t even manage to attempt another Rude Awakening before time runs out. I think Rude’s panicked attempts to salvage a draw might be my favorite thing about this, and I only wish it were maybe fifteen or twenty seconds longer as a segment. Anyway, this is still the best Iron Man Match that I’ve ever seen. There is an hour of show left after those last two matches, which means that this show was atrociously segmented. How did these two matches happen one after the other in the middle of this show? What an insane way to lay out a show. As I have come to believe, WCW just had issues that were apparently endemic to it no matter who ran it. A long-term viewer would run into the same layout issues across booking eras. For a cool down that probably should have come between the previous two matches rather than after them, we have the bathing suit segment of the contest between Madusa and Missy Hyatt. Madusa walks out first, looking like a trashy biker bikini lady. Johnny B. Badd, being goofily charming: C’MON, MADUSE; LET’S GET LOOSE AND SHAKE YOUR CABOOSE! Jim Ross, being strangely creepy: “[There are] a couple of things about [Madusa] I like, but I can’t put my hands on them.” I don’t like it, Ross. I don’t like it. Meanwhile, Missy wore a two-piece instead of a one-piece and also looks like a cute beach lady rather than a trashy biker lady, so she wins this segment with the crowd by about forty touchdowns. Ref Ole Anderson, who gets his own introduction, stands in the corner and watches Paul Heyman lead the remnants of his Dangerous Alliance to the ring: Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, and WCW World Television Champion Stunning Steve Austin. Their opponents are the remnants of Sting’s Squadron: Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff, and Dustin Rhodes. Austin and Windham have a nice opening exchange that Windham gets the best of with a second-rope arm drag (Heyman, alarmed at the fall that Austin’s about to take: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA). Rhodes tags in and continues the babyface shine, though Austin manages a tag to Eaton, who tags to Arn eventually, who slaps Koloff, who then tags Rhodes. Arn wins a kneedrop before going up top and being halted by Ole; I do like how these wrestlers are working spots to indicate that they keep forgetting about Bill Watts having dumb rules about top rope dives that worked in Louisiana in the ‘80s, but that don’t work for a national company in the ‘90s. Hell, WCW kept that “over the top rope DQ” rule for about six or seven years too long. Speaking of, we have a claim that Koloff should be DQ’d for hitting a Sickle that sends Arn over the top and to the floor right now! Ross clarifies that the DQ is only if someone is thrown over the top (fine), but then speaks too much and says, “or propelled over the top rope,” which obviously a move like a clothesline to a man slumped against the ropes would do. Jesse immediately jumps on that point as well. See? This rule was fucking stupid. Back to this match, which should be a good trios match, but which has been kinda boring so far. Koloff fights off all three heels, extending this watchable-I-suppose shine. Heyman calls for a timeout, but much like Chris Webber in the NCAA Finals, he doesn’t have one and should stop signaling for one. Arn and Windham go at it, and boy, this match is not doing anything for me at all. They crack heads, and Arn goes back to the top, scrapes Windham in the eye as Windham tries to block his top-rope dive, and then changes position and dives from the second rope instead. Where are Ole as ref and all these spots over top-rope confusion leading? Windham tags to Rhodes, who fights off all three heels while the babyfaces chill out and watch from their corner. Arn smashes Dustin’s noggin into Eaton’s, and finally Rhodes is your FIP. This is pretty dull heel control stuff. Ross cuts in to claim some obviously worked stats in which Madusa leads Missy in the fan vote for their pretty-off. Come on, that is some nonsense and you know it, Ross. This is the least believable work on this whole show. Meanwhile, I think we said all that we needed to say about these teams wrestling one another at WrestleWar. This is a dull nothing of a match, which isn’t an offensive thing in isolation, but which is shocking to me considering the talent in the ring. I also don’t love the hot tag spot, in which Austin lands a Stun Gun that launches Dustin across the ring and right into a tag. The match immediately breaks down and Arn finally does his dive off the top; he eats a fist to the gut, but manages to land a knee off the top to break up Windham’s floatover pinfall on a superplex attempt. Alas, Ole sees that one and disqualifies him to end the bout. Oh yeah, Ole as ref and all these Arn top-rope spots led to putting Ole over as a fair referee who didn’t let his family member get away with cheating. Hey, that crappy hot tag, finishing run, and weird decision to focus the match on Ole Anderson, Fair Referee means that this bout wasn’t just a dull nothing; actually, this bout absolutely fucking sucked. Eric Bischoff interviews Ricky Steamboat, who is proud of how he endured the Iron Man Match and won; he vows to come back at Rude for a title shot the next time they meet. Paul Heyman cuts in on the interview, gives Steamboat his props for winning the match, but makes it clear that Rude won’t be giving out any more title shots to Steamboat. Then, he cues Cactus Jack, who runs in and attacks Steamboat until referees and security mooks pull them apart. This is a kayfabe business partnership that will bear fruit in ECW a couple years from now in reality. A whiny Jesse Ventura basically takes Johnny B. Badd’s spot as the host of the pretty-off, but Badd walks out in a spangly cowboy hat and jovially agrees to share the spotlight with the judgmental Jesse. Alright, the ladies are in tinier bikins than from before for this third round. Guess what Madusa is doing for her bikini? That’s right, breaking U.S. Flag Code! Madusa and breaking U.S. Flag Code with her gear: name a more iconic duo! Meanwhile, Missy can’t make it out of her dressing tent because someone (Madusa, if her smirk means anything) stole her micro-bikini out of an envelope, but the industrious Hyatt steals Jesse’s bandana and scarf from around his head and improvises a bikini. Badd peeks inside and sells her makeshift bikini as positively scandalous, though as we find out when she steps into view, it is actually a bit less showy than the previous two-piece she wore. Anyway, the best part of this is Jesse yelling WAIT, THOSE ARE MY SCARVES and Missy, off mic, yelling back SO WHAT, I WON. That got a genuine laugh out of me. An irate Madusa attacks Badd, backing him all the way into her dressing tent, and oh man, there is now some terrible comedy to offset that funny exchange between Hyatt and Jesse. Let me summarize: The tent shakes, Jesse goes WHAT IS THAT GUY DOING TO HER IN THERE (ugh, why), and then Badd comes out looking bashful and holding Madusa’s top. Jesse just pokes his head in to confirm that Madusa has lost her top and possesses a pair of lust-worthy lunghammers. You know, Beach Blast ’92 can’t possibly be the best WCW PPV considering that it includes that string of bikini-based segments. I forgot why the card was laid out so strangely; Tony S. and Eric Bischoff transition us over to the main event, which is the Miracle Violence Connection of Doc and Gordy against the Steiner Brothers for the WCW World Tag Team Championship. Bill Watts’s laser focus on bigging up the NWA World Tag Team Championship and pushing this feud caused him to make some strange decisions. I say this as something of an outlier in that I adore this feud and the matches that made it up. I love me some Dr. Death and Terry Gordy, and I enjoy them smothering their opponents on the mat, which is apparently an acquired taste. Scott Steiner and Gordy do some protracted mat wrestling to start, Scotty eventually gaining top control and sending Gordy sprawling into the ropes to break things up. Next, both guys hit each other with a loud shoulderblock – how is a shoulderblock that loud? That was a lotta beef smacking together there. Anyway, Gordy slaps Scotty, who slaps back, and both men rain blows upon one another until the ref can get them out of the ropes and back to the center of the ring. Doc tags in and tries to gain control with a single-leg takedown, but can’t manage to outwrestle a Steiner on the mat, as it should be. Eventually, Doc backs Steiner into the corner and launches a couple of knees into Scotty’s gut, which leads to a series of counters that end with Steiner scoring a sunset flip for two. Scotty sinks in a side headlock that Doc tries to counter into a pinfall attempt, but Scotty sprawls, keeps control, and then decides to tag his dopey bro Ricky. Jim Ross notes that Ricky has a degree in education from UMich, which is a staggering concept to me. Who the fuck would let their children anywhere near Rick Steiner, especially in an educational setting? So, here is why people don’t like these matches; the feeling out process tends to be very protracted. I buy it as I buy into the aura of both these teams and believe that just one mistake would the other team to do something so drastic that it ends the match, so it works for me psychologically, but I get why people are like, Hey, these dudes are spending a lot of time laying on one another. Anyway, Ricky and Doc trade tackles and lariats until Gordy tags in and scores a huge back suplex for two. Ricky fights back, but is in trouble from here; Doc tosses Rick outside to the ramp by using his tights as leverage as Scotty complains about said tight-pulling to the ref. Doc follows with a shoulderblock, but Ricky fires back with a punch and a sunset flip; Doc holds the ropes to block it, but Scotty fires a forearm at Doc’s dome. The ref counts the pinfall attempt and then admonishes Scotty (and is admonished in turn) as Jesse critique’s the ref’s decision to count a pinfall for what was essentially an illegal move because of Scotty’s interference. This is a cagey bout, and I actually wouldn’t change what the wrestlers are doing, but I again would have changed the order of matches. I don’t see why Sting/Cactus didn’t end this show. There is no reason that Ricky Steamboat needed to be confronted by Cactus tonight and, even if you wanted to have them confront one another, you could still have Cactus do it before he comes out for the main event. This tag match should have swapped spots with Sting/Cactus. Scotty and Gordy do this really good, movement-filled struggle; Scotty almost gets a bow-and-arrow, but Gordy sprawls and manages a tag to Doc; the heels leverage their ring positioning to make quick tags and keep Scotty down, though Scotty does manage a crossbody for two in there. However, he’s in the wrong neighborhood, so Doc and Gordy easily cut off his attempts at a fiery comeback. Ricky’s not too bright, so he draws the ref’s attention by getting into the ring, which allows Doc to kick Scotty right in the knee; Gordy follows up with a kneebar and cuts Scotty down with a lariat as Scotty gets back to a vertical base. His cover only gets two. As the match’s long-term FIP, Scotty does a good job of selling and timing his comebacks, most of the latter being aborted by the heels attacking his injured knee. I like the work a whole lot, and I think the heels work holds rather than just sitting in them, which is immersive to me, but other people simply might not like the mat-based approach. For example, Gordy working a single crab, thinking about transitioning into an STF, noting that Scotty squirmed toward his corner a bit, and choosing to go back to cinching in the single-crab before choosing to tag out worked for me. I buy that Gordy was tired from trying to corral this big dude Scotty and needed to get his partner to take over for him in that bit. Doc can’t hold Scotty back from crawling over while in a Boston Crab, though; Ricky hits a hot tag and fires off fists, then lands a diving bulldog from the second rope on Doc. Ricky clubs Gordy, who recovers and absolutely lights up Scotty with a lariat as Scotty goes to the second-rope. Meanwhile, Ricky is distracted and eats a lariat from Doc, who then hoists Ricky onto Gordy’s shoulders as Gordy sits on the second rope. However, Gordy is illegal, so when he tries to cover, the ref won’t count; that delay in getting up and letting Doc cover allows ricky to tag out. Gordy tags in and scores a pretty dropkick, but that only gets two as well. Rick is deep in trouble as Scott tries to crawl back to his corner; the MVC hit a double-shoulderblock for two as time winds down on the match. There are five minutes remaining in the contest as Doc hits a pair of rib breakers for two. The heels press their advantage, working against the clock since a draw won’t earn them the gold. Ricky tries to fight out of the corner, but is stomped down by the heels. Then, in what I think is a kayfabe mistake, Doc goes to a chinlock. He should be picking up the pace here and throwing bombs to try and get a victory. This is a mistake in the context of the match in my opinion and, as Capetta announces that there are three minutes left, I think that we should be in a more busy finishing run. Doc hits a sitout powerbomb for two and…goes to a front facelock. As much as I have enjoyed this match, I don’t like the layout of this finishing run. Even if they’re working toward a draw, the heels should be wrestling with way more urgency. Doc finally decides that, with under two minutes to go, maybe he should try his best move, but Ricky blocks the second part of the Oklahoma Stampede; Gordy tags in and trades very loud lariats with Ricky. This match sounds like it hurts almost as much as the Sting/Cactus match at points. Ricky makes a hot tag to Scotty with under a minute to go; Scotty cleans house and then scores a double-underhook powerbomb and a Frankensteiner, but the bell rings before he has time to cover. I don’t know about the layout of this finish, folks. Why did the champs have more urgency to get a pinfall than the challengers? I still liked this quite a bit, but the logic of the match broke down at the end. Tony S., Eric Bischoff, Jim Ross, and the entirely-too-lascivious Jesse Ventura send us on our way to end the show, and I will take this time to reflect that the show was awesome and, just a month after WrestleWar, had a far better undercard so as to feel that WCW’s midcard felt almost unrecognizable compared to what it was a month ago. However, Watts smartly covered for the weak midcard by having fewer matches between his actual good workers and just booking the good workers to go longer. I can’t say that most of his other strategies for organizing the card made much sense. Then again, when your only dud of a match is a six-man tag and you have two absolute classics back-to-back on your show, even the mistakes get glossed over pretty easily.

I've been having Google NotebookLM re-book a lot of WCW 1999 and 2000. I can report that AI is already a much better booker than either Kevin Nash or Vince Russo.

https://youtu.be/eiiaL5QBPiw?si=pzl36jRjHrTAyecG We missed out on Eddie/Luger in a longer feud. Between this and Luger having a neat little segment with Rey to set up a match that never happened because Luger got injured, I would have been way into Luger wrestling the cruisers more often.

Well, now I know what happened to Super Mario Odyssey 2. Nintendo made it a Donkey Kong game instead.

Yeah, you'd have to be selective about what you added. Hulk Hogan's WOOD IN THE HOOD promo would be the main event.

I don't think I could stomach that stuff myself. If I never see Hulk, Bisch, Piper, or Russo on screen again, I can live with that. They'd make up the bulk of that series. On another note, I uploaded my lists into Google NotebookLM and created a pro wrestling +/- for each year of the Nitro era based on the number of good matches and segments - the number of bad matches and segments as guided by the lists. Here is the outcome: WCW Year Ranking (Best to Worst) • 1. 1998: Total Score +114 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 161 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 47 ◦ Calculation: 161 - 47 = 114 • 2. 1996: Total Score +96 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 101 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 5 ◦ Calculation: 101 - 5 = 96 • 3. 1997: Total Score +78 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 99 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 21 ◦ Calculation: 99 - 21 = 78 • 4. 2001: Total Score +45 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 50 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 5 ◦ Calculation: 50 - 5 = 45 • 5. 1999: Total Score +28 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 104 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 76 ◦ Calculation: 104 - 76 = 28 • 6. 1995: Total Score +24 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 28 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 4 ◦ Calculation: 28 - 4 = 24 • 7. 2000: Total Score -24 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Good Lists: 68 ◦ Number of Matches/Segments on Bad Lists: 92 ◦ Calculation: 68 - 92 = -24 Based on the formula, 1998 emerges as the best year for WCW, while 2000 is identified as the worst. This ranking suggests a peak in 1998, with a significant decline in content quality by 2000. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I actually think 1995 is my favorite year of WCW Nitro, but of course it (like 2001, which I like a lot as well) is hampered by only having a run for three months of that year. I do like 1998 WCW a lot more than many people do, though, which is reflected here. Hopefully, NotebookLM will significantly help me with that list that Curt suggested for all the wrestlers who ever appeared on Nitro (and their debut dates).

WORST FEUDS We have zero new entrants! Hooray! This list is considerably longer than I expected it to be when I started this watch through! Boo!

BEST FEUDS We have one new entrant! Hooray! This list is shorter than I expected it to be when I started this watch through! Boo!

THE ABSOLUTE DIRT WORST Hulk Hogan may not be one of the worst wrestlers of all time (though I personally am starting to lean that way because of how limited and unimaginative he proved to be during his WCW run), but he is at the very least the most "reach exceeding grasp" wrestler to ever live. His awfulness is so profound that it inspired Kevin Sullivan and the Giant to newfound levels of awfulness as well - and that's only looking at the '95 and early '96 big shows we watched. He is all over this list for good reason: He was almost indescribably bad for the bulk of the '90s. But at least Hogan was useful back in the early-to-mid '80s. That's more than I can say for most of WCW's 2000 programming, which is only useful as a torture device.

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS DUMB (BUT ENTERTAINING) MOMENTS 1999 WCW was like a fever dream when it got particularly weird, wasn't it? Anyway, Paul Orndorff makes an appearance on this list (with an assist from Gary Spivey).

Promos, Spots, and Skits that Aren’t Quite HOLY SHIT MOMENTS that Are Worth Watching/Adding to Your Playlist When WCW was good at promos and skits, it could be very good. The only addition this time around is Sting and Booker at Uncensored '96, but special shout out to Scott Steiner for being more unhinged than usual at Millennium Final!

HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS CLASSIC Promos, Spots, and Skits While WCW could manage some great promos, they were not this show's forte. In truth, Ric Flair, Chris Jericho, and Raven did a lot of heavy lifting for this section, at least to my taste.

Charming Uniquities Johnny B. Badd managed a visit to this list as well, but WCW had the most of this type of charming, weird little match in 1996 - 1998, which is down to the large and diverse roster (and not having Kevin Nash or Vince Russo book the shows)

Very Good (and Sometimes Pretty Great) TV and PPV Matches that Make Entertaining Candidates for a Nitro-era Playlist on YouTube Going back and watching early Nitro-era WCW PPVs really helped out my estimation of DDP and Johnny B. Badd; Millennium Final also helped WCW in 2000 look just a smidge less dire in terms of quality.

SmUgs’s Standouts – My Favorite Matches No changes here, somewhat surprisingly. WCW PPVs took time to catch up to Nitro in terms of consistent quality.

Millennium Final (2000) notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/52/#findComment-1417072 Hallo, lieber Leser! Es ist Zeit für einen letzten Rückblick auf das WCW-Programm: WCWs exklusiver PPV Millennium Final in Deutschland! Before I go any further, endless thanks to twiztor, who posted this show for my perusal and who has been incredibly helpful during this thread in linking me to video of things that I needed to complete reviews or to get more context for a side-project that WCW was promoting. His contributions have been a much needed and much appreciated part of working through all of this Nitro Era goodness (and badness). Do you know what kind of money I would pay for an audio overlay of Tony S., Stevie Ray, and Mark Madden calling this show? Well, not a lot, but something, at least. Hype video: WCW is visiting Germany here in November of 2000, which means a) it’s Russo-free and b) Alex Wright-heavy in the promotional material! Before I met my wife, I dated a young lady who was a native German speaker, which led to me taking two years of German and failing to learn very much of it...though oddly, I can get the occasional full sentence and can also pick out key phrases. I think I prefer to learn a language by getting the grammar discussion in English and then being immersed, like going to an English/[the second language] school in the land of [the second language]. It’s still my goal to become bilingual before I shuffle off this mortal coil, long-since-hardened brain pathways for learning language be damned! This recording has the pre-show attached, which is cool. The voice-over guy runs down the wrestlers at this show and then we get a blip from Sting, who talks about the importance of winning the WCW European Cup in Germany many years ago. We see some video of what was probably a sick encounter between those two because they always had great matches. I guess we’re getting another WCW European Cup match and/or tournament tonight? Anyway, this is part of a longer thirty-minute pre-show before the show actually starts. In this thirty-minute pre-show: Disco Inferno, Alex Wright, Brian Adams, and Major Gunns go training! I’ve wanted to go to Germany for most of my life, but that want became more earnest after I saw Run Lola Run in high school. Tom Tykwer was the person to send me on my first WHOA, INDIE MOVIES FROM OVERSEAS ARE AMAZING trip. Anyway, now we get this bilingual German interviewer smoothly switching from German to English to interview Sting, who is in fact defending that European Cup he won back when he was Surfer Sting years ago. Sting is wrestling, uh, someone, but he’s as ready as he can possibly be considering the slapdash nature of professional wrestling matchmaking and is glad to be back in Germany. He also talks about being healthier now than he was when he defeated Vader for the Cup back in 1994. Hey, was that Vader/Sting Cup match on the same tour where Cactus Jack lost his ear on the hangman spot? Since I’m asking so many questions right now: Is it just me, or are shows that aren’t in North America a special level of exciting? I’m actually genuinely stoked to watch some WCW right now. More pre-show: German kids at an autograph signing are yelling DON’T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME?! How did that catchphrase get over?! Hey, Axel Schultz is special ref for the main event. Yet more pre-show: ACHTUNG, ACHTUNG, HERE IS ALEX WRIGHT to cut a promo in his home language about maybe possibly being tag champs with Disco Inferno (who got legit injured and never actually won or defended a tag title alongside Wright) and trying to out-think and outmaneuver corrupt commissioner Mike Sanders. Even more pre-show: Kevin Nash is next up to interview after some more shots of fans meeting wrestlers. He prefers Germany to England, especially for the beer and the ladies. I mean, I want to argue against this, but I can’t. Whatever, Germany only wishes it had Gardener’s World or Only Connect. Some more pre-show: An Alex Wright career retrospective in which he is shown beating Pat Tanaka in his WCW debut and Jean-Paul Levesque Hunter Hearst Helmsley (both names being mentioned by the voice over guy) on his first PPV show. He also holds a win over Chris Jericho for his first WCW title. We catch up with what he and Disco have been recently doing, which is mostly getting screwed out of the tag titles by the cheating commish (Nitro Show #261). After that… You guessed it, more pre-show: …Booker T. cuts an interview. Booker is still in the stage where he is being incompetently booked. Let’s see if he gets slaughtered by Scott Steiner on this show again. Booker appreciates the love he got, especially because the last time he was here, he wasn’t even a tag champion, much less the world champion. He compares himself to Ringo Starr. Uh, in terms of the reaction he got, not in terms of his drumming prowess. I wonder how the German dude is going to translate the phrase “It’s gon’ be on like a steamin’ pot of neckbones.” I sure do wish I knew enough German to follow said translation! Why not? More pre-show: Axel Schultz and Pam Paulshock kick off an awkward segment in which she leads him to Nick Patrick so that Patrick and the other WCW refs can teach him how to be a proper pro wrestling referee without resorting to short rights to the jaw to keep order. Schultz then cuts his own interview in German. Schultz's interview is soon followed by the Cat and the always lovely Ms. Jones. The interviewer, not understanding the historical weight of his request for the Cat to commence with the dancing for the crowd at home on account of he’s never lived in a country scarred by the long-term sociological and anthropological effects of antebellum slavery happening on its own soil or the resultant stereotyping that derives from these effects, is confused by the Cat’s somber refusal and further insistence that there is “more to [him]” than dancing. The Cat is simply here to beat up Mike Sanders, which considering Sanders’s kayfabe personality is definitely something worth taking a transcontinental trip to do. We’re running out of pre-show: Next up, the tag team champions Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire cut a promo in which O’Haire is frustrated at the high-carb offerings that soothe the German palette, claiming that they have softened up an ab or two of his since he’s been in the country. Culinary shots fired! This causes the interviewer to accuse the two of being paper champions whom Mike Sanders had to protect from a title loss to the Boogie Knights. Wright and Disco (or Wright's replacement if Disco is injured) really should win the belts on this show. After that, Sanders himself calmly interviews about being not only the new commissioner, but about the glory of Eagleland and its accomplishments, like landing on the moon and dumping cheap and unhealthy corn-based products on other countries. Also, he likes Sting. Seriously. He said that exactly: “I like Sting.” The pre-show is indeed coming to an end: Here is a rundown of the matches, and the dude doing the voice over calls Scott Steiner SIR PUMP-A-LOT, which is an underused nickname for the guy. I think maybe Nash also called him that once on a Nitro from around this time. The interviewer kicks us over to the show proper, and yes, I wrote two pages and about twelve hundred words on a pre-show. Hey, this is the last one of these Nitro Era shows! I’m going to do this right! Well, unless the matches on the show suck, in which case I’ll sort of rush us to their finishes. This opening to the wrestling show with masked guys yelling and doing cartoonish facial expressions is something! You know what’s nice about these shows? Seeing full arenas for WCW as WCW is in its death throes. Someone has a BRING BACK HALL banner as one of the first things we see during the crowd pan. Of course. That guy is eternally over everywhere. Lenz Retzer and Mike Ritter are our announcers, just in case a German DVDVR reader comes across this review and has helpful comments on these fellas and their work as commentators. I mean, holy shit, the Rudolf Weber Arena is packed! And loud! Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman (w/Tygress) open the show against KroniK in what should be a fun little men/big men speed vs. power tag match. Kidman tries a collar-and-elbow tie-up with Brian Adams to start. That doesn’t go well. He attempts to work a headlock. That goes even less well than the collar-and-elbow. It’s only when Adams tries to shoot him in that he wins an arm drag and a headscissors. Kidman tries a sunset flip, but it’s too early for all that, and Adams picks him up and hits him with a full nelson slam for two. See? That was an effective opening that showed the speed versus power balance effectively. Bryan Clark tags in and he and Kidman get a laugh out of the crowd when Kidman tries to slam Clark and Clark is immoveable. Rey is in soon after, leaping around and getting pops for his agility and his ability to outmaneuver both Adams and Clark with aerial moves. Rey gets two after a springboard guillotine legdrop, but Clark kicks out and then kills Rey’s running with a vicious chokeslam before taking over with punches and chokes. Rey’s attempts at wriggling away are cut off; Rey tries a leapover, but is caught and power slammed for two. Look at what happens when WCW’s road agents and bookers lay out simple, effective match narratives based on archetypal pro wrestling matchups. We get a good match. Who could have imagined! Rey tries to evade Adams after Clark tags out, but again leaps himself into a power move, this time Adams’s F-5. Rey is an excellent FIP and indeed is excellent at pretty much everything because it’s quite possible that he’s the best pro wrestler to have ever lived. Rey getting these hope spots and then being cut off by a KroniK power move is just solid tag work and gets the crowd behind him, clapping for his comebacks. Even Adams running out of ideas and locking on a shitty nerve hold for a few seconds isn’t that annoying. Rey works out of that nerve hold and…runs right into a gorilla press slam. Adams covers, but Rey kicks out at two. Adams tosses Rey over the top rope, which I think wasn’t cleanly done, but it works out; Rey snaps Adams’s neck over the top rope and then lands a low falling headbutt before making the hot tag. And guess what? Kidman, as the hot tag, calls back to not being able to move Clark earlier by this time easily body slamming him. The match breaks down, at which point Kidman counters a Clark powerbomb attempt with a facebuster before combining with Rey on a baseball slide/Bronco Buster combo. People enjoy the Bronco Buster spot in Germany too, by the way. Clark gets up and attacks Kidman from behind, but Kidman hops behind Clark on a rope run and hits a Kid Krusher as Rey dives onto Adams at ringside. I think this is the end, but Clark kicks out at 2.9. Kidman next tries his rebound bulldog, but Clark halts Kidman’s momentum and goozles him; meanwhile, Adams has dispatched of Rey outside the ring and rejoins Clark in the ring, where he also goozles Kidman. KroniK lands a High Times for three in what was a very fun opener. This wasn’t some mind-blowing match outside of the context of 2000 WCW. In 2000 WCW, however? It’s a unicorn. What a well-laid-out and entertaining match, a certain visitor to the Very Good (and Pretty Great) Matches list. David Penzer introduces a battle royal full of dudes: Lance Storm, the Canadian Heavyweight Champion, comes to the ring first. He is followed by Elix Skipper WITH HIS PROPER “PARTY UP” KNOCKOFF THEME, YEAHHHHH, and a guy on commentary digs that theme as everyone should because it rules. I think the other guy on commentary questions if Skip is actually Canadian. Anyway, there’s a production fuck up because of course there is. This is WCW, baybee! Eventually, the Misfits in Action’s knockoff of “War” plays and General Rection comes to the ring, where he is jumped by both Storm and Skip. For some reason, a few Germans start a U-S-A chant, and as an American, I am FUCKING DISGUSTED. STOP THAT. DON’T CHANT IT SERIOUSLY, DON’T CHANT IT IRONICALLY, DON’T CHANT IT EVER. OK, I get it; it’s a Royal Rumble-style battle royal with no on-screen countdown. I think we’re getting one-minute intervals. So, Storm and Skip just stood around for a minute before Morrus joined, and now Ernest Miller WITH HIS PROPER JAMES BROWN KNOCKOFF THEME, YEAHHHHH runs out at number four. No eliminations yet. Mike Sanders rushes the ring at number five, which allows Team Canada to double up on Rection once more. Penzer randomly decides to start counting down from five before each entrance. At six: Mike Awesome WITH HIS PROPER BARRY WHITE KNOCKOFF THEME, YEAHHHHH. That one commentary dude enjoys the theme music. Jimmy Hart and Howard Helm: fantastic copycat merchants. A more intense U-S-A chant happens. If Germany were a puppy, I’d lightly tap it on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. Kwee Wee enters at seven, and we’ve still had zero eliminations in the ring. Wait, no, Storm rushes Morrus as Morrus leans against the ropes and is backdropped to the floor. Disco Inferno runs to the ring at eight to a pop because he’s teaming with Alex Wright, but everyone in WCW hates Disco – including Alex Wright, honestly – so he’s immediately jumped and beaten down by everyone, face and heel alike, in what was actually a pretty funny spot. The Cat was eliminated during this furious beat down of Disco, by the way. Billy Kidman, holding his ribs, is into the ring at number nine, and at number ten comes, uh, both KroniK members. Penzer is not counting down from five anymore, but he randomly announces that Skip and Rection have been eliminated. Kwee Wee, Sanders, and Disco are also eliminated as KroniK clear the ring. Why they are both allowed out here at the same time, I don’t know, but even if it makes no kayfabe sense, at least it makes narrative sense because Rey Misterio Jr. is in at eleven and we get a reprise of the narrowly contested tag opener. I think Rey and Kidman should manage to eliminate KroniK for payback before someone else gets out here, but at twelve (Sean O’Haire), all four men are in the ring. Kidman is eliminated by an O’Haire superkick while KroniK manage to eliminate Rey just in time for Mark Jindrak to enter at thirteen. Alas, people were into Kidman and Rey and are notnearly as into Jindrak and O’Haire, so what should be a big tag team face-off ends up feeling limp as the crowd goes quieter than they’ve been all match. Penzer is counting down from five again and has stopped announcing eliminations. Maybe Penzer should just sit quietly in his chair rather than being a living example of WCW’s inconsistent production. So, at fourteen is Screamin’ Norman Smiley, who gets a HUGE pop and a SMI-LEY chant from the crowd. He also gets a gang-style beatdown from the four bigger men in the ring, complete with a shitty-looking piledriver from Adams. Next up at fifteen is Alex Wright, to a loud pop that is actually smaller than the pop Smiley got. Did WCW fuck up with how it used Norm Smiley or what? That guy was simply over. Anyway, the bigger tag teams now jump on Wright, dampening the crowd’s enthusiasm. Wright should have at least got some initial punches in before the numbers game got to him. Konnan enters the ring at sixteen and helps the nominal babyfaces hold their own as the numbers even out. Next at seventeen comes Fit Finlay to an un-Finlay like theme. He does manage to garner a little pop, but I guess German fans weren’t as into him when he wrestled there as they are into Steve or Alex Wright or I suppose Norman Smiley, the latter of whom I assume also wrestled in Germany. Or maybe he was just a big heel for most of his runs in Germany. It’s Finlay’s arrival as another nominal babyface that turns the tide: The Europeans in the ring (and Konnan) turn the tide; Finlay manages to flip KroniK to the floor; O’Haire and Jindrak are soon eliminated. Smiley wiggles in celebration and is hit with a chair and eliminated by Finlay, who then also tosses Konnan. Mike Awesome is sitting at ringside and has been for a bit, but I don’t remember him being eliminated. He’s selling a knee injury, and the camera cutting back to him seems to indicate that it’s not a real injury. Finlay and Wright are left to face off, and the crowd recognizes this as a culturally-important matchup as European fans should do, I suppose. Wright and Finlay have a nice sequence with a handful of near eliminations. No one else has come out, so I guess this was an eighteen-man Royal Rumble. Wright manages to eliminate Finlay with a lariat, but Mike Awesome apparently went under the bottom rope and pulls a version of a Shawn Michaels/British Bulldog at the end of the 1995 Royal Rumble in which Wright celebrates his victory and does not see Awesome pop back in the ring. Awesome easily tosses the unaware Wright to the floor. I don’t know, if you’re WCW and you’re coming to Germany, a market that might be important to open up considering you are struggling to stay above water financially, maybe it might be a good idea to just let Wright win this one? Anyway, this was inoffensive and tried to tell a match-long story that integrated multiple interlocking feuds, but was only partially successful. Booking these particular match types better than adequately takes some high-level creative talent, word to Pat Patterson. The interviewer from the pre-show is also our in-ring interviewer tonight. He gets in the ring to announce the winner and makes a few opening remarks in German (Awesome, confused, off-mic: WHAT THE HELL’S HE SAYING?!). Apparently, Awesome gets a shot at the European Cup in what I think is going to be a Triple Threat Match against Kevin Nash and Sting? We’ll find out when we get there. Awesome does some boilerplate heeling in which he promises to win the European Cup and take it back to Florida, which is a fate worse than being melted down and used to make a toilet on a well-traveled Amtrak train. Pre-taped interview: More with Axel Schultz and hey, is that Alex’s dad Steve? Kwee Wee (w/Paisley) wrestles Elix Skipper STILL WITH HIS PROPER “PARTY UP” KNOCKOFF THEME, YEAHHHHH. Kwee Wee and Skipper have good chemistry, which I’m not surprised about since they worked together quite a bit as Power Plant guys. Kwee Wee wins the early exchange and hits a lariat that sends Skipper spilling to the floor. Skipper, annoyed, yells at the fans and hits on Paisley, the latter of whom is entirely uninterested. Back in the ring, Kwee Wee easily controls Skipper again and dumps him face first on the mat; Skipper clatters to the floor once more, where he changes tack and lures Kwee Wee over to the ropes. A Skip neck snap over the top rope allows him to hop in the ring and dominate the match for the first time. Skipper grounds this match, which surprises me. He uses lots of kicks, head bashes, and chokes. Kwee Wee manages to get a boot up on a corner charge, but finds himself counter-suplexed as he tries to follow up. Skipper plunks a chinlock on Kwee Wee. OK, so they had matches that made my good list on Nitro (Show #253) and at Fall Brawl 2000, and I had higher expectations for this match as a result. This is watchable enough and perfectly inoffensive, but it’s not particularly good. Anyway, I do appreciate Skipper at least working the chinlock with lots of cheating spots in which he uses the ropes for leverage. He finally goes to the air on a rope walk and lands a double-axe from the middle of the ropes before targeting Kwee Wee’s arm; he snaps it and tries a hammerlock, then transitions into an arm wringer that he uses to snap Kwee Wee’s arm across the top rope. After a dogged attack on Kwee Wee’s arm, we get a nice power spot where Kwee Wee powers out of an armbar by lifting Skipper onto his shoulders and then slamming him. This starts Kwee Wee’s babyface comeback, which includes a nice kneelift in there that would be Mr. Wrestling II approved. Kwee Wee manages a couple of two counts in there before being hit with a bridging Northern Lights for a Skipper two count. Skip loads his fist with his Grey Cup ring; Paisley (misidentified as Tygress by one of the commentators) tries to let the ref know and then grabs at Skipper’s arm, but Skip gets away, lands a loaded punch, and then rolls under the bottom rope and grabs a chair at ringside. Skip re-enters the ring and makes to swing, but Kwee Wee gets up and dropkicks it back into his face. That cover only gets two, but Kwee Wee’s sit-out facebuster follow-up does manage to earn a three count. Again, this was merely okay, which is a shame as I know these two have a better match in them than this. I’ve seen them, after all! Kevin Nash cuts a pre-match promo, and what I’m picking up is that Mike Awesome won an opportunity to wrestle Kevin Nash in a semi-final, with the winner of that semi-final moving on to face the cup holder Sting in the final for the European Cup. Sure, whatever. Nash thinks he has the size and freshness advantage on Awesome and asserts that Sting “is the toughest guy to beat in the federation” as part of this low key interview. WCW World Cruiserweight Champion and WCW Commissioner Mike Sanders speaks poor German and then calls everyone in the audience SMELLY BITCHES so that he can earn an ASSHOLE chant that he pretends to be shocked at. Aw, and I was enjoying my sweet little ‘rasslin show without all the WCW-in-2000 antics. Sanders says that he’s not the ASSHOLE, the Germans are the ASSHOLES, and thankfully here is the Cat (w/Ms. Jones, elite-level James Brown knockoff theme) to stop this tiresome and weak attempt at Attitude Era talking. The Cat responds by calling Sanders THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD and promises to beat Sanders so soundly and with such rage that the momentum of said beating takes them across the Atlantic and back to America. They do a BOO/YAY spot, with Sanders jumping the Cat while the Cat garners cheers from the audience. This is a match involving the Cat and Mike Sanders, so you guessed it: It’s cromulent and you won’t remember that it happened by the day after you read this review. Sanders does boilerplate heel control stuff before the Cat comes back and knocks Sanders to the floor, where the commissioner threatens to leave if everyone keeps calling him an ASSHOLE. Sanders then makes to leave, but instead grabs Ms. Jones by the hair and threatens her. Of course, she kicks him square in the forehead, which rules, and which leads to an obligabrawl that the Cat dominates. Back in the ring, Sanders grabs ref Slick Johnson’s leg and turns him so that he doesn’t see Sanders low blow the Cat. Slick should disqualify Sanders in kayfabe, but Slick is a complete fucking dolt in kayfabe, so of course he doesn’t. Anyway, Sanders is fine, I suppose, during this brief heel control segment. The Cat makes an energetic comeback and dodges a Sanders corner charge, then scores a Feliner on the rebound that ends the match by pinfall. Ms. Jones boogies; she forgot to bring the cape on this overseas trip, but the tired Cat manages to fire up and boogie as well. He boogies of his own volition, too, rather than because someone expected him to perform on demand as a form of entertainment. Pre-taped interview: Jindrak and O’Haire cut another middling pre-match promo with tonight’s interviewer; the interviewer is unconvinced that even with Commissioner Sanders’s support, they can overcome national treasure Alex Wright. Apparently, WCW promoted a “mystery superstar,” and that mystery superstar is babyface CEO Ric Flair! CEO Flair walks to the ring to make a declaration or three. This crowd loves to WOOOOOOOO as every crowd loves to WOOOOOOOO and Ric Flair uses their love of WOOOOOOOO to convince them to stand up and WOOOOOOOO louder than they already are. Someone holds up a LEX LUGER: POWERED BY VIAGRA sign behind Flair, which tells me that they actually were watching that bleak era when Nash was the commissioner and made such a claim (Nitro Show #223). After Flair propositions a German woman in the crowd, he books Fit Finlay in a hardcore match against Norman Smiley on account of Finlay attacking Smiley with a chair in the Faux-yal Rumble. He once again is distracted by the possibility of sex, considering a potential double-teaming (with Nash) of a Kevin Nash fan in the crowd after the show, but he gets back on track and inserts Alex Wright into the Awesome/Nash semi-final match. Finally, doing so doggedly and with the laser vision of someone who desperately needs therapy, Flair begs the women in the crowd for sex at the Sheraton after the show and says that if he gets enough of it, maybe WCW will visit Germany again in October of 2001. I sure hope that female WCW fans from Germany didn’t bang Ric Flair for nothing! Yuck! Next up: Lance Storm (w/Major Gunns) defends the WCW Canadian Championship against General Rection. Storm blunts a small CA-NA-DA chant by hoping sincerely that he never has to come back to Germany because the food sucks, even in comparison to the United States. I mean, you win some (better catering), you lose some (limited access to reasonably priced, quality health care) as an American. General Rection pulls a "Hacksaw Jim Duggan at the Royal Albert Hall" and comes out here with an American flag like a doofus. You’re a babyface! At the very least, carry out an American and a German flag! So, one more time, I am subjected to Lance Storm trying to have a good match with General Hughton Morrus-Rection IV. Is there any other way this watch could end? You know what you’re getting from this bout: Storm and Rection both work hard, there’s an obligabrawl, Gunns interjects herself, Storm’s heeling is good enough to make Rection’s babyface comeback land decently, and you’ve watched another match that isn’t worth remembering or thinking about past its duration. For the last time in these reviews, I’ll write to you that you can easily imagine what this match is like, so here’s the finish: Morrus goes up for a No Laughing Matter, but Gunns slides the belt to Storm. Morrus jumps down and goes to confront Gunns on the apron, and ref Mickey Jay also heads over there, but he does manage to catch Storm swing the belt at Morrus and connect with his melon. Storm puts Morrus in a Canadian Maple Leaf and thinks he’s won, but Jay DQs him. Storm angrily protests the decision on the house mic and then demands that “O Canada” be played for him since he’s still the champion, but Morrus jumps him from behind and lays him out, then piledrives Gunns for good measure. BOOOOOOOOO. Anyway, mediocre but ultimately watchable bout, as you’d guess, because of Morrus’s limitations. Sting is very over during his live interview in the back. He’d like to wrestle any one of his three potential opponents, puts Alex Wright over as “the future of wrestling,” and declares it to be SHOWTIME, FOLKS! In other news, Sting continues to rule. That supremely annoying HEY BABY (OOH AHH) I WANNA KNOOOOOOOOW IF YOU’LL BE MY GIRL song plays while some ladies walk out in stereotypical Bavarian dress. They might be Nitro Girls, but honestly, I’ve lost track of who most of the Nitro Girls are at this point. A different song fires up, a technopop song in fact, and look, you know what country this show is emanating from ([tm] Michael Cole), don’t you? Norman Smiley walks out here looking like he’s been to Octoberfest in Orlando and is taking cues about German dress from that experience. Seriously, it’s reminiscent of that Tintin book The Blue Lotus where Thompson and Thomson put on super-stereotypical Chinese dress to walk through the streets of Shanghai and ended up being followed and laughed at by the natives, who of course would never actually dress like that. Of course, Thompson (with a "p," as in "psychology") and Thomson (without a "p," as in "Venezuela") were supposed to be blending into their surroundings as international policemen; Smiley is on the other hand supposed to be ostentatious and playing broadly to a crowd. If you'll recall, Smiley's opponent is Fit Finlay (w/field hockey stick) for this semi-impromptu hardcore bout that the commentators declare an OCTOBERFEST MATCH. Sure, why not. Wait, hold on, I lied. Here is the last time in these reviews where I’ll write to you that you can easily imagine what this match is like (smashy smashy, trashy trashy, random E-C-DUB chant, the “bonus” of the crowd chanting that goddam OOH AHH line from that fucking song), so here’s the finish: After a lot of smashy and trashy and Finlay telling the crowd in German that he sure as fuck is not German like them (nope, not with that accent), Smiley comes back from being smashed through a table while trying to hook a Norman Conquest and backdrops Finlay through a second table to earn victory. He hits a Big Wiggle in celebration and looks like he should be the WCW United States Champion if you were only booking WCW shows for German crowds because they love the hell out of this guy. They also love dancing to technopop, so factor Norm’s entrance music into the crowd reaction as well. Anyway, Norm cuts a post-match promo at the Compuserve Premiere World desk, where a revived Finlay attacks him because babyfaces can barely ever get a celebratory moment in Nitro Era WCW. The WCW World Tag Team Championships are on the line next; reigning champions Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire match up against the Boogie Knights. Wright walks to the ring alone because Disco Inferno is legitimately injured, so he’s had to get a substitute partner for this title opportunity (also [tm] Michael Cole): General fuckin’ Rection. The crowd, of course, chants lightly for GOLDBERG before Rection is revealed as his partner, which is hilarious to me. What a comedown! Can you imagine if it was Goldberg? Shit, that would have been rad. Rection and Wright hold up a German flag, symbolizing their alliance for this single night. Rection, who is tired from wrestling twice earlier, gets worked over by the comparatively fresher Jindrak. Jindrak’s feeling himself; he tags in O’Haire, who demands Alex Wright’s presence. Wright, once the rookie, is now the vet who works over rookies with his experience and knowledge of counters. However, O’Haire is a rookie with more size than him, and he uses his size and explosive power to counter Wright’s counters on an arm wringer. What I like about this match is Wright working in a few counters to holds of the crowd-pleasing kind that I’d expect from a match in the UK, France, or Germany. Actually, Wright spends a lot of time getting his ass kicked in here and probably needed to get more shine than he did. This is another match that is merely okay, but it’s boosted by Wright getting a big victory on home soil. It’s really too bad that Disco is shoot hurt because the Knights had a very good TV match with Jindrak and O’Haire five weeks or so before this show (again, Nitro Show #261), and I believe that they would have been good for another one on this show. Jindrak and O’Haire confound kayfabe dumbass ref Slick Johnson to cheat their way into control; Rection is the FIP for a watchable enough control segment that ends when O’Haire takes too much time to launch on a Seanton Bomb attempt and whiffs. Rection makes the hot tag to Wright, who is ein Haus in Flammen as he throws blows at both of the Thriller members. Alas, he is overexuberant and runs right into a Hot Shot. Rection tries to intercede and fails as the match breaks down, but he is able to help Wright by pulling the rope down as O’Haire runs them; he then dispatches of O’Haire outside the ring before returning to it to help Wright. Jindrak intercepts Rection and attempts to corral him, but Rection snaps off a counter jawbreaker and leaves Jindrak open for a Wright missile dropkick that earns the three count and the gold. Which means that in a special return feature... WCW World Tag Team Championship title change count: 13 (VACANT > David Flair and Crowbar > The Mamalukes > The Harris Bros. > VACANT > Buff Bagwell and Shane Douglas > KroniK > The Perfect Event > KroniK > Vampiro and Great Muta > Rey Misterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera > VACANT > Jindrak and O’Haire > Boogie Knights [and General Rection])… It goes into the books as a Boogie Knights win despite Rection’s substitution for Disco, so that’s how we’ll keep it in most of the notes, but I’ll add Rection’s name for this review specifically since he was involved in the title change. The Nitro after this went out of its way not to show the babyface Rection teaming with the heel Wright for the American audience. This is another okay wrestling match that is most memorable for Wright getting a big win in Germany. It's live backstage interview time with Booker T., and I sure wish that I had started a feature for Booker T.’s cavalcade of questionable catchphrases. Book congratulates Alex Wright on his title victory and then cuts a boilerplate babyface promo toward Scott Steiner. Booker hits only one of his questionable catchphrases that the crowd finishes for him with a HATE THE GAME, and I still, even after multiple reviews, have no idea how that catchphrase got over. We are coming to the end of the show and just about to the end of this thread for real and for true, but first, we’ve got a Triple Threat Match that will determine who wrestles Sting in the European Cup Finals. One thing I sure love about U.S. pro wrestling companies going to Europe is that they make up whole titles to pop the crowd. Hell, the WWF created an actual European title that was also defended in the U.S. for a while. Alex Wright turns right back around to wrestle Mike Awesome and Kevin Nash, and I think booking Wright again is a mistake because he already had his feel-good moment and because this crowd really just wants to see Nash Jackknife Awesome into the mat. Nash lazes in the corner while Wright and Awesome have a competitive match, which I think is just sooooooo meta. How lazy is Kevin Nash, exactly? It’s hard to tell how much of his laziness is ironic and how much of it is legitimate. The crowd chants WE WANT HALL because everyone WANTS HALL, who should have just traded the world title back and forth with Goldberg throughout 1999 since that would have made WCW fans generally happy and kept them tuning in. Nash finally interjects himself when it looks like his opponents might actually pin one another. He dominates as is his way. Wright and Awesome decide to momentarily team up on Nash, but that alliance ends when Wright attempts to pin Nash. Nash kicks out of a Wright pin attempt after Awesome and Wright team up again to suplex him and audibly yells NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKERS, which nearly cracks one of the guys on commentary. Mike Awesome decides to use the table gimmick that he shares with THE WALL, BROTHER, but Wright slips out of his attempt at an Awesome Bomb through a table. Nash chills out at ringside selling damage or maybe just napping while Wright and Awesome attempt to have a pro wrestling match. Wright sets up the table, gently lays Awesome on it knowing that it’s too weak to hold him, and of course as careful as he is, the table breaks anyway. He still goes up so that he can do the spot where Nash cracks him with the pole of the German flag that Wright brought to the ring. Nash waves the flag, Jackknifes Wright, and lays him on top of Awesome for a double pin. Somehow, this guy still gets applause! Look, I get taking it a bit easy on a random house show in Manassas or Orangeburg, but this is a PPV. On the other hand, does it matter what Nash does when everyone cheers him anyway? I am so upset that they didn’t let Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) cut an interview even once for the pre-show or the PPV proper. I would have loved to see the interviewer try to translate any of what Steiner’s crazy ‘roid monkey ass might say. No, wait, here he is on the house mic! And he’s calling the women in the crowd FAT BITCHES who he’d look better than even if “he shave[d his] ass and walked backwards.” He then snaps, puts up a middle finger toward some fan, and yells FUCK YOU while still on the house mic. What. OK, I think I discovered why they didn’t have him cut an interview even once for the pre-show or the PPV proper. I must say that there is a clear difference between Steiner doing this and Mike Sanders trying to cuss up a storm in that Steiner actually comes off like a lunatic and therefore his cussing enhances this show. Steiner promises to kick Booker T.'s ass on two continents rather than just the one before Booker comes out here. You can’t be some “just happy to be here” babyface like Booker has been during the death throes of the pre-9/11 ‘90s ‘tude culture, or the shit-talking heel is going to get way more cheers than you will. Nothing about Book’s presentation or talking from the point at which he was struggling to beat Harlem Heat Incorporated to now has been updated properly for the time that he was wrestling in, and that’s before we get to all of his criminally bad booking. This match, as with pretty much of their matches, is at least good. Booker getting a longer opening shine segment and Steiner, overwhelmed, having to duck out to ringside and take a walk to stop the ass kicking makes Book look like *gasp* maybe he actually deserves to be the champ. Steiner wanders around flicking fans off; Book gets on the house mic and suggests that Steiner get back in the ring and take this asswhipping already. Steiner is rattled; he gets back in the ring and runs right into a spinebuster for two. He can only get some control of the proceedings after Midajah first grabs Booker’s leg on a rope run and then kicks him in the face after Steiner capitalizes. It's obligabrawl time! I suppose that this match is no disqualification considering Midajah cheating in plain view of referee Charles Robinson. Or considering Steiner hitting Booker with a chair in plain view of Robinson. Steiner hits a clothesline and an elbowdrop, then pulls off the cover to do pushups and yell NOT YET, MOTHERFUCKER. Nash and Steiner are extra salty tonight, it seems. Steiner locks on a bearhug; Booker fights his way out and bounces off the ropes…right back into a bearhug that Steiner turns into an overhead belly-to-belly. The unhinged Steiner yelling like a maniac at random fans has really enhanced this match. On one hand, you can say that only Steiner is allowed to say practically whatever he wants, so of course he’ll stand out and get over, but on the other hand, Steiner seems to be living the gimmick, so no one else would be as believable as he is going off at fans like the nutbar he is. This is a solid match where Booker fires up and is cut off, then fires up and is cut off again. Steiner gets two on another belly-to-belly and considers choking the very life out of Charles Robinson, but he opts for an overhead release suplex on Booker instead. That also only gets two, which makes Steiner reconsider his moratorium on beating the shit out of Robinson. He then tries a flash small package that only gets two, followed by a backslide that only gets two, and that last two count is what sets Steiner off. Steiner knees Robinson in the gut and puts him in the Tree of Woe, then strips off his ref shirt and gives it to Midajah with orders for her to call the match as soon as gets the Steiner Recliner on Booker. That doesn’t happen because Booker rises up with Steiner in electric chair position; Steiner gets dumped, and then Booker seems to have lost his mind a bit because he tosses Steiner into the same corner that Robinson is still hung upside down from and rains blows upon Steiner’s noggin. This match feels genuinely chaotic. Booker tries a Book End so Midajah jumps on his back; Book turns to Midajah, and Steiner hits a low blow on Booker. Steiner wants a quick count, but Booker practically kicks out at zero. Steiner yells COUNT FASTER at Midajah while Midajah points out that she could even barely get down on the mat before Book kicked out. Steiner tries to shoot Booker in, but Booker reverses, buries a knee in Steiner’s solar plexus, and then manages to score an axe kick. He Spinaroonies up and catches Midajah as she dives at him; Book slams her, but is jumped by Steiner. Steiner shoots Booker in again, but Book ducks his swing and hooks him for a Book End; Slick Johnson hustles to the ring and counts the three. That match was genuinely awesome. The fuckery was on point from the second Steiner came out here and got on the house mic, and Booker actually walked through all the jibber jabber and got a strong win. Too bad this wasn’t on U.S. television where he needed this type of match the most rather than enduring show after show of eating jobs and shadow three counts for everybody and anybody. I genuinely found this match to be wonderful and welcome it to one of my good lists. On fifteenth thought, I also added their Mayhem match to one of my good lists. It was better than I gave it credit for on first watch. I think I had too many immediate complaints about Booker’s overall booking and didn’t give it the love that it deserved for Steiner being simply too much to overcome for a valiant fighting babyface effort from Book. Recap: The road to the European Cup final. And here’s the European Cup final! Sting defends his hard-won (from six years ago) European cup against Kevin Nash. Special guest ref Axel Schultz enters along with three Nitro Girls, followed by the competitors themselves. This whole thing, including entrances, is just about eleven minutes. The bell rings with eight minutes to go in this whole recording, in fact. Are we really getting a Nitro Special on PPV? Hilariously we go to a Sting legbar a minute in, and as Schultz checks on Nash, he lightly pushes his shoulder, which prompts Nash to respond with an exasperated WHAT ARE YOU PUSHIN’ ME FOR? Well, at least the guy makes me laugh while he’s doing the least amount of physical work possible on this show! You know a match is going to be brief when Sting starts firing off Stinger Splash spots two minutes in. This is an absolute zero of a match, especially after the previous match. That match had chaotic energy. This match has Kevin Nash trying to hit his spots so he can hurry up and get to the pub for a Hefeweizen. It’s not bad! It’s just entirely without substance. Sting makes a comeback out of a neck vise and hits two Stinger Splashes and a DDT, then wraps Nash in a Scorpion Death Lock for the submission victory and the WCW European Cup (which still has the old school WCW logo on it, by the way). Sting and Nash show each other some babyface love after the bout. Aaaaaaaaand show! This was an enjoyable show from a historical standpoint and because it felt so different and unique being that it was held in Germany. It mashed up German cultural elements with American-style professional wrestling from the late Nitro/Attitude Era, and that was novel. I would also suggest the opener and the Booker/Steiner match to anyone who wanted to check out the parts of the show that worked the best, but if you don’t mind three-and-a-half hours of pre-show and actual show, why not sit down and watch the whole thing? The links are a few pages back (page 57, to be exact), and in all honesty, this might have been the best PPV WCW put on in 2000. Slamboree had higher highs and might be better from that perspective, but I would contend that Millennium Final was a better and more consistent PPV than Starrcade. Then again, Millennium Final had a low ceiling compared to WCW PPVs overall, so don't watch it expecting a revelatory show. OK, that really is all for Nitro Era WCW reviews from me, so thanks once again go out to all of you who followed me as I worked through this project over the past four years! I'll be finalizing my lists and updating a document full of these chronologically ordered reviews and a few extra stats as my last couple of big updates to close out this projet entirely! Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/52/#findComment-1417833

Obsidian sci-fi RPGs are more than worth it to me, but if it's another 25-ish hour game with hub worlds a la KotOR, the online complaining will be palpable.

OK, after spending a total of ten hours in Mario Kart World, I feel comfortable saying that it's my favorite Mario Kart since the original largely because I've been bored with Mario Kart since then. That is not to say that I don't like Mario Kart games. I've played most of them between the SNES original and World. It's just that the 50cc > 100cc > 150 cc > etc. formula is old and tired. I think the transforming vehicle gimmick would have worked better for me if I hadn't already played a lot of Sonic and Sega Transformed, which I believe did that gimmick first. The Balloon Battle competitive multiplayer is awesome, obviously, so I need to shout that out as well. Even then, Mario Kart has been that same gameplay loop forever: Do the cups, then do them faster. The Free Roam mode changes all that. In fact, my big complaint about it is that it doesn't feel as fleshed out as it could be. However, that mode is so good that frankly, I went through each cup once on 50cc and haven't bothered to move on to 100cc because I'm too busy exploring the world and trying to get good enough at wall riding and charge jumping to pull off tricks and collect everything. That mode is not only an excellent tutor for the Grand Prix mode, but it is incredibly fun as a exploration-based platformer in its own right.