Fuzzy Dunlop

And, of course, when the minions were dispatched to get more umbrellas, Putin's was still the biggest one.

Team of the Tournament? Courtois, Varane, Godin, Pogba, Kante, Hazard, Modric, Lukaku and Mbappe are in along with 2 others I'm undecided about, out of maybe Trippier, Maguire, Coutinho, Perisic, Vrsaljko et al. The BBC had Chadli's last second goal against Japan as Goal of the Tournament. I'd probably have slightly went for Messi's against Nigeria over Pavard's against Argentina. Messi's was a goal only a genius could score.

Well, that makes me sound like a sexist pig. I had no idea that was next year. Which makes me sound even more like a sexist pig. I'll stop now.

What. A Fuck. Ing. World. Cup. I'm actually a little bit depressed it's all over because it was a legit great World Cup. I have very vague memories of Italia 90 so I'm not including that but out of the seven World Cups I have seen, it's the greatest one. I'm very much in support of VAR but it can still very much come down to human error and the ref made a balls up on that decision so Croatia can feel hard done by there (and you have to feel bad for Modric having to trudge up there to collect his award. Not since, well, Messi in the last World Cup has a player looked so unhappy to win an award) but, overall, I think France are worthy winners. Them and Belgium were the two best teams in the tournament. Next year is one of those shitty odd number ending years when there isn't a Euros or a World Cup too.

Yes.

IT'S COMING HOME THOUGH! I MEAN, CROATIA IS A BYE INTO THE FINAL AND THEN IT'S COMING HOME! Nope.

Being realistic, did the English overestimate themselves and get overexcited again? I dunno, they needed a last minute goal to beat Tunisia, they beat the worst team I've ever seen in a World Cup in Panama, they lost to Belgium in a nothing match, they beat Colombia on penalties when Colombia's best player wasn't playing, they beat a bang average Sweden team and then all of a sudden they were in the semis. And then they lost. Obviously, you can't deny they got to the semis, I mean, it just happened, we all literally just watched them in the semis and obviously they can only beat whatever team's put in front of them but it was a piss easy route to the semis. Xenophobic little Englander Clive Tyldesley commentating at the final whistle like he was commentating on a funeral was hilarious.

But...but...but...I thought it's coming home, lads? I mean, everyone was convinced about it, they all kept banging on about it, you had a hashtag and everything and then... Better luck next tournament. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. Or the one after that.

You know, one of these years Belgium will win a tournament on grass and not just on paper.

Well, that was a shitty football free couple of days.

I watched the match in my bikini too.

Football is the greatest sport in the world and when it's good, it's fucking GREAT but when it's bad with the feigning injury, diving, crowding the ref, rolling around like you've had a limb amputated (all Neymar), it's a fucking embarrassment. But there will never be anything more dramatic on a sporting occasion than penalties in a knockout match in the World Cup. I am neither Croatian nor Russian and yet I was evacuating my bowels watching that. In saying that, I happen to be quarter Croatian on my granny's side considering who they're playing in the semis. And if England win, I'm a quarter French or Belgian. I forget, did England win today?

It's never not worth repeating how much Ronaldo was the Man, the pinnacle of batshit insane power and speed. I imagine centre halves had the same response when he was running at them that WCW job guys had when they were booked to face Big Van Vader. I'm rambling and I forget what my point is other than fuck Neymar.

Neymar can roll his way all the fucking way back home. Buh-bye, you absolute detestable little turd bucket. I forget, did England win the other night?

That one's difficult for me, I want to marry Godin and I want to marry Mbappe but then I also want to marry the entire 2018 World Cup.

It's nice that Neymar's cuntishness has now united us all in support of Belgium.

Football is crazy. Last kick of the match? Crazy, crazy, crazy. I am in love with this World Cup, I'm planning to propose to it.

No, seriously, fucking FLUMMOXED.

This World Cup is fucking bonkers. It has me flummoxed and I've never used the word flummoxed before but I'm so flummoxed I'm going to use the word flummoxed.

Wait, how is Neymar still playing after that career threatening injury? He's an inspiration!

As embarrassing as that was, my favourite running joke of this World Cup is Ally McCoist's History of Russian Cities. It's nearly as funny as when Batshuayi twatted himself in the face with the ball.

I'm so glad Neymar didn't die after Layun slightly stepped on his ankle. Fucking hell. An embarrassment.

He's legit the greatest 50 year old player there's ever been. But, man, he's in that list with the likes of Scholes, Pirlo et al as my favourite type of player, where everything goes through them and they control the entire tempo of the match. Regardless of what happened at this World Cup, Iniesta is an all time great; a genius of a player.

Buried in the World Cup news is the international retirement of Iniesta. One of football's good guys and an absolute genius of a footballer.

I mentioned the 1st series of Get Shorty in the June thread, I finished it over the weekend; it is really, really fucking good. It's one of those shows where you're depressed when the series finishes. Highly recommended.